The Worlds Objectively Greatest Song

by Joseph Schlayen

If you're reading this zine, you might think you know something about music. You at least hopefully have some sense of good versus bad music, and what makes a song good. Well let me tell you that you're objectively wrong, and it's because you're not talking about Luna's Future, the hardest and greatest song to grace god's green earth since Prince of Egypt's "The Plagues".

For those of you who are unfamiliar with Luna's Future, it's a roughly one-minute song featured in season six episodes eight of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, A Hearth's Warming Tail. When you look at the character used and the execution of the song itself, it becomes physically impossible not to drop to your knees and pray for forgiveness for not having listened to this song at least 800 times already.

Let's look first at the character they employed to sing this song, Princess Luna, a resident of Equestria. Don't worry too much if you're not familiar with her, as this paragraph will explain everything you need to know about her. The first reason having Princess Luna sing this song was a mint choice is due to her history. In this episode, the protagonist is attempting to permanently erase the Equestrian version of Christmas and Luna plays the somber Dickensian ghost of Christmas Future, of which she reveals there will be no more. Luna herself is not stranger to bringing the world to a near apocalypse for her own selfish reasons; after all, she had to be banished to the moon for a thousand years for trying to kill her sister and bring about eternal night in a fit of jealous rage. In addition to all of this, Princess Luna is an alicorn, which is effectively the in-show equivalent to a goddess. This combination of her immortal wisdom and tainted past adds a level of depth to her words that really serves to accent just how heavy her song is.

Let's look first at the character they employed to sing this song, Princess Luna, a resident of Equestria. Don't worry too much if you're not familiar with her, as this paragraph will explain everything you need to know about her. The first reason having Princess Luna sing this song was a mint choice is due to her history. In this episode, the protagonist is attempting to permanently erase the Equestrian version of Christmas and Luna plays the somber Dickensian ghost of Christmas Future, of which she reveals there will be no more. Luna herself is not stranger to bringing the world to a near apocalypse for her own selfish reasons; after all, she had to be banished to the moon for a thousand years for trying to kill her sister and bring about eternal night in a fit of jealous rage. In addition to all of this, Princess Luna is an alicorn, which is effectively the in-show equivalent to a goddess. This combination of her immortal wisdom and tainted past adds a level of depth to her words that really serves to accent just how heavy her song is.

Let's look first at the character they employed to sing this song, Princess Luna, a resident of Equestria. Don't worry too much if you're not familiar with her, as this paragraph will explain everything you need to know about her. The first reason having Princess Luna sing this song was a mint choice is due to her history. In this episode, the protagonist is attempting to permanently erase the Equestrian version of Christmas and Luna plays the somber Dickensian ghost of Christmas Future, of which she reveals there will be no more. Luna herself is not stranger to bringing the world to a near apocalypse for her own selfish reasons; after all, she had to be banished to the moon for a thousand years for trying to kill her sister and bring about eternal night in a fit of jealous rage. In addition to all of this, Princess Luna is an alicorn, which is effectively the in-show equivalent to a goddess. This combination of her immortal wisdom and tainted past adds a level of depth to her words that really serves to accent just how heavy her song is.

What really sells this song however, is its execution. Now at only roughly one-minute long, one might make the argument it can't possibly have the time to develop itself, but that's just it. Luna's Future goes so unbelievably hard, it's banging right from the first second and doesn't relent. To have gone on any longer would risk physical death to those listening.

Possibly one of the most powerful effects this song has is its use of the environmental noise in the background to accent the severity of the situation. While the immortal moon goddess delivers hard-hitting lines such as "no time for hope when all is strife" and "but the days ahead are dark and tragic", we're also assaulted with the sound of cold, howling winds, and one other critical sound, or rather lack of sound. Voices. Every other song this entire episode was sung by either a group, or you could hear others talking, laughing, and living their lives in the background. But in Luna's Future, the music does a perfect job of showing what the lyrics are telling us.

In conclusion, with credit to the perfect casting, use of powerful background music and evocative lyrics, Luna's Future qualifies as the world's hardest song with absolutely no contest. It is with great hope that you, the reader, can perhaps take this knowledge and use it as inspiration in your own work.

Image from Google Images