veryday Heroes
Devotion & faith,
in sickness & in health
After more than a decade of sickness, the trials of caregiving have done little to dent the marital devotion of Ruby for her husband, Richard. If anything, it has strengthened the bond between them.
“W
e’re doing okay, right?” With a tender look in her eyes, Ruby, 71, pats the arm of her husband, Richard, 74. Though he can’t hear well anymore, he responds to the affectionate gesture with a small tilt of his head. These subtle shared moments speak volumes about their 48 years of marriage, and their supportive interdependence on each other. This bond has kept them going, especially throughout Richard’s two battles with cancer, hearing loss, and swallowing problems. The latter difficulty was their most recent challenge, Ruby shares. About two-and-a-half years ago, Richard became quite ill when he became unable to eat. “He had a fainting spell and fell in the bathroom, so we had to call an ambulance, and he was sent to KTPH,” Ruby recounts. At KTPH, Richard was diagnosed with dysphagia, a swallowing problem that makes it difficult to eat. There was a high risk of choking and food entering the lungs — a dangerous 26 |
cause of pneumonia. Because he could not swallow safely, Richard had to have a feeding tube (percutaneous endoscopic gastrostomy tube or PEG) inserted for safer eating. When Richard was discharged, Ruby and her long-time helper were able to manage quite well on their own, except for a few times when the tube got stuck, which required a visit to the A&E. “Initially, we were not so sure of what we were doing, and were afraid of doing things wrong. But now, we’ve gotten the hang of it,” Ruby says. Ruby is thankful to have support from Yishun Health’s Ageing-in-Place Community Care Team (AIP-CCT), which has been a reassuring form
of ‘back up’ for times when she needed a little extra guidance and advice. This includes PEG tube care, physiotherapy for exercise, and phlegm management, as well as dietitian consultations to ensure Richard’s liquid diet was optimised. “I am glad that we have a group of community nurses. Around 15 years ago, when Richard was first sick, I was so lost, I did not know what to do. Now I have more help and it is much easier.” Ruby says that the team communicates well with Richard, and helps them to manage better so that they do not need to go to the A&E as often. It is at this point that she looks to her husband and touches his arm
“I wish caregivers to know that they are not alone, and that there is help available. There are people around us who are willing to help. I hope those in the same boat as we are know they have the strength to pull through.”
