Your True Colours April 2016 by Carolyn Bendall

Your True Colours April 2016

Ways of Change

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Your True Colours In this Issue:

All contents of this magazine are the opinions of the individual authors. April 2016 Your True Colours Media, LLC© No part of this magazine may be reprinted without written permission from the editor. cbendall@fashionacademy.biz

table of contents Boomerang Escapes takes you to the South Pacific via your taste buds.

Laughter Lawyer USA -How to Always Be Right without Having to Let Everyone Know 5 YTC Life Image – Happiness and Joy 15 Passport for your Palate-The South Pacific’s Poisson by Lisa Rossmeissl 19 Happiness@School Project©: A New Slant on Mental Health Literacy by Sue Stephenson 25

Our Own Laughter Lawyer (Debra Norwood) with guest columnist, Sue Stephenson, doing what they do best, bringing a bit of laughter to the world.

19 Ways to Enhance Your Sense of Humor 31 Be Super Humor Powered By Steve Wilson 37 Ways of Change by Lauren Baird 43 Credits for Cover Photos: Ways of Change

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Join us at http://www.couragemakers.com and on Facebook Overcome the negative of the world, come find joy and courage.

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Laughter Lawyer: How to Always Be Right Without Having to Make Everyone Know It LEADERSHIP THROUGH BRAIN HEALTH, EMPATHY, AND HUMOR By Debra Norwood

EVERYONE HAS HAD AN ENCOUNTER WITH A HARD TO DEAL WITH “KNOW- IT -ALL” FROM TIME TO TIME. IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN A FAMILY MEMBER, OR AN AUTHORITY FIGURE SUCH AS A TEACHER, COACH, OFFICER, OR YOUR BOSS. Sometimes a perpetrator engages in artful verbal abuse, others are more physical. They are a master at putting others down and can often found in leadership, managerial or organizational authority positions, such as that “tricky –to- deal –with” coworker, volunteer, administrator, or board member. We all know whom I am referring to: it’s your unfriendly neighborhood bully -- that one person who knows how to hit all the buttons in one’s heart to make one cringe, fear, hate and admire them all in one bundle of paradoxical emotions. What is a Bully? How do we know when the need to be “always right” elevates itself to the point of being dangerously pathological? One sign may be the inability to accept criticism without losing one’s mind and an obsessive need to hurt others to exercise dominion over them. An official definition of what constitutes a bully isn’t always easy to find, as it becomes both a matter of subjective personal experience and also a subject of substantial psychological research. It’s a

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muddy definition that can’t be stereotyped, but when you’ve met one, or follow one, or are a victim of one, they are unforgettable. Regrettably, according to the American Society for the Positive Care of Children (American SPCC), a 2013 study showed that 70% of young people said that they had witnessed bullying in their schools. Join that statistic with youth witnessing incidents of coercion and dominance shown on television, the news, and movies, and their collective conscious has become acutely aware of the character and nature of bullies. Recently, I read an article by Jesse Singal which, in my opinion, best described the dynamics of bullying, and the definition of what a classic bully is. The article quoted a psychologist at UCLA, Joana Juvonnen, who offers one definition filled with contradictions, just as bullies are also contradictory in real life. She classifies bullies as “narcissistic, after power, often charismatic, therefore popular.” 1 Popular? No way! But yes. Juvonnen, however, goes on to point out that there is “an important and interesting distinction between being popular and being liked”. 2 Speaking of high school settings, “many bullies may have classmates that rate them as popular… but when individual students are asked if they would like to spend time with the bully, they respond with resounding nos.”(Emphasis added) 3

Politics, Bullying, and Self-Esteem Another excellent insight Juvonnen expresses about bullies is that they “feel really good about themselves. They come out looking like they have very high self-esteem”, but, she cautions, “that high self-esteem is so highly dependent on popularity, so if there is a problem, if somebody dares to criticize them, that may make them more vulnerable…(So) when somebody criticizes them, they attack immediately…they can’t stand that they are criticized.” 4 Bullies win supporters not because of likeability but because they appeal to our strong need to belong to a group or identity. In politics, they are masterful at creating an us versus them

http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2015/09/bullying-researcher-explains-donald-trump.html http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2015/09/bullying-researcher-explains-donald-trump.html 3 Singal, Jesse, An Expert on Bullying Explains Donald Trump’s Mean, Consequence-Free Rise Science of Us :September 10,2016 http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2015/09/bullying-researcherexplains-donald-trump.html 1 2

www.psychologytoday.com/blog/feelingit/201603/5 reasons-election-is-nuts-and-thescience-behind -it 4

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How to Always Be Right (Continued) mentality which, according to Dr. Emma Seppala, thrives even more when negative press, or opposition gathers, because of a “backfire effect”, which is described as when somebody gives us evidence that we are wrong about a strong opinion we hold, it can actually make us feel stronger about it. 5 Right now, as we face a major presidential election, some claim we are witnessing the curious rise in favorable public reaction to bullying, in that the more “unpresidential” a candidate acts, and the more uncivil the candidate’s language becomes, then the higher their approval rankings rise. Why is that so? One theory is that we are living in a time of turmoil and the search for strength and security causes a group mood to shift not towards rationality but need for unity, security and guidance when facing crisis. Feeling helpless, it is easier to hang on to a leader imbued with self-confidence and a clear message about what must be done. The public in distress is more vulnerable to succumb to the use of fear inducing, angry emotional outbursts that actually work in favor of the bully—but interestingly, only as long as they are the right gender--men who give verbal expression to it. Women politicians, who show anger in public it appears, are less influential. 6

Becoming a Beauty Instead of a Beast For those of us who abhor conflict and do not want to enable bullying we may wish that we could just wave a magic wand and just have all bullies magically disappear! Indeed, one of my favorite movies is a cheesy modern recreation of the old tale “Beauty and the Beast” with a modern twist. In the movie Beastly 7 with Vanessa Hudgens as “Beauty”, and Alex Pettyfer, portraying a rich, shallow, spoiled, and incredibly cruel, yet unquestionably popular high school student named Kyle. In the plot,

Ibid,supra. www.psychologytoday.com/blog/feelingit/201603/5 reasons-election-is-nuts-and-thescience-behind -it 7 Beastly, Release date March 04,2011, Directed by Daniel Barnz, Teen Choice awards, 2011 5 6

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Kyle humiliates a mysterious girl who just happens to be a witch, called Kendra, portrayed by Mary-Kate Olsen. In order to teach Kyle a lesson, Kendra transforms him into someone as unattractive on the outside as he is on the inside. His inner fears, abandonment issues and lack of self-esteem surface as he himself faces all the abuse he once heaped on others. He’s placed in closed environment with an immigrant maid and a blind tutor (societal rejects, in his opinion) and a beautiful girl he loves, but who is not in love with him. Kendra’s curse puts him in a crucible of pain in order to help him empathize with their experience and to acquire humility and develop compassion. If he cannot find someone to love him within a year, he will remain “beastly” forever. I love the movie, because as a brain health coach interested in assisting in the healing not only the victims of bullying but also the bully themselves, I enjoy that Kendra employs “flawed” yet appropriate role models for Kyle’s edification. Often it is true that to learn empathy we must deal with our own shortcomings and as well as other’s. Recognizing one’s link to another’s humanity and vulnerability and placing oneself in their shoes is a critical step in helping acquire mirror neurons in the brain which foment empathy. As the plot in the movie Beastly unfolds, it becomes clear that Kyle’s situation, which by all appearances seems “uncool” compared to the glamour of wealth and beauty he’s used to, nonetheless cunningly helps this protagonist find purpose, meaning and true love-- the right way. This mirrors real life, since it is often adversity that teaches resilience to those who don’t succumb to it but choose to learn from it. The constant world of change teaches us that true control is gained, not by coercion and denigrating others but by self-control and by developing emotional intelligence through empathy, humor, and self -love.

Help to Change the Brain If you are a bully, or living with one, and wish there was a real help to effectuate behavioral change, there is here is hope. As a certified brain health coach, through Laughter Lawyer USA we help clients learn how to develop values based goals and habits. In cases of severe anger management and impulse control

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How to Always Be Right (Continued) issues we refer these individuals for a brain scan at the nearest Amen Clinics and then united, plan a holistic strategy of care. We know that people who find themselves in a state of constant anger and are always needing to be right, may actually have a physical cause for their condition—past trauma to the brain, chronic stress or infection, even a long forgotten blow, an accident, or a fall, history of physical and emotional abuse, or genetic conditions which may be culprits creating and/or contributing to a brain condition that inhibits impulse control or where an ability to empathize is compromised. Sometimes it is a particular area of the brain, affected, often it is many areas which become entangled and at cross -purposes. Once these individuals see what their brain really looks like through a brain scan, and eliminate the sense of shame or blame for their behavior, the chances of following a protocol for improvement highly increases. Brain health education is instrumental for healing, and as Dr. Daniel Amen, a leading psychiatrist in the field of neuropsychiatry is fond of noting: the brain is involved in all you do, so changing your brain changes your life.8 Learning about the brain sounds complex, but with a little help, the issues can be made more understandable. A wonderful primer on the brain that is a good read, fun, thought provoking and wellillustrated, is the book, This is your Brain on Joy, A Revolutionary Program for balancing Mood, Restoring Brain Health and Nurturing Spiritual Support, by Dr. Earl Henslin, with Becky Johnson. The book also contains a forward by Dr. Daniel Amen. An author of an array books, Dr. Henslin’s background includes a doctorate in clinical psychology, a licensed marriage and family therapist and a vast experience with brain trauma. In chapter seven of the book, Dr. Henslin mentions that a person with an overactive cingulate gyrus, or, as he describes--the “circular gerbil wheel” in our brain that has our minds spinning over and over in our thoughts, can be compromised and cause difficult behavior which can be linked to that part of the brain. In other words, that individual may have an inordinate need to be right, experience black and white thinking, store hurts, angers and resentments, notice everything that is wrong, and have tunnel vision if the cingulate gyrate is not working properly. 8Dr.

Daniel Amen’s book, Change Your Brain Change Your Life, can be purchased at www.amenclinics.com For information on how Laughter Lawyer USA can conduct brain health education workshops for high schools and businesses or organizations, contact her at debra@debranorwood.com or call 901-2102824 for a consultation on how Amen Clinics may assist you in a holistic care approach to improving your own brain! February 2016 |9

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Thus, these individual’s very brains become accomplices that sabotage and allow them to develop a “my way or the highway” as a rule in life. This is a much more illuminating perspective to help a bully than simply defining their behavior as evil, or sinful even intentional. The book has examples of the emotional stress and contradictory feeling these individuals themselves feel. One such individual describes his condition: “No matter how many time I tried to control my anger, I failed. Prayers, sermons, pleading from others would touch me for a time and never stick. Part of my brain was like Teflon. Even books and tapes on anger management though helpful, could not tame my tendency to flare up the moment I felt slighted.” 9 Eventually after arrests, this individual was prescribed medication that within a week was able to help him hold on to anger management techniques allowing “the split second moment I needed to for my thinking brain to overtake my fight response in the emotive, reactive part of the brain.” Dr. Henslin’s recommendation for anyone who struggles with these kind issues is to consider getting a good professional workup and learn about the possibility of either supplementation or medication, because “all brains need a little help sometimes!”10 I am thankful that Dr. Earl Henslin is one of the valuable mentors and resources that I consult with at Laughter Lawyer USA in order to coach individuals who discover they may face brain health issues. Neuroscience has evolved now to where looking at the brain is as important as looking at behavior, and it is only proper that if a psychologist or psychiatrist is treating the brain, they first look at the brain in order to treat it! To learn more about how brain scans can help with mood issues and behavior resistant to therapy, and how to improve anger and impulse control, please contact me at debra@debranorwood.com or message me on Facebook at Laughter Lawyer USA for help in unraveling the mystery of the marvelous mind. Likewise, if you have been a victim of bullying or abuse, or know someone who has, and as a result, suffer depression, anxiety, or PTSD, please contact me to learn more about how we can help encourage better coping skills, habits and encourage healing by linking you to the appropriate assistance.

Writer’s note: This Is your Brain on Joy, A Revolutionary Program for Balancing Mood, Restoring Brain Health and Nurturing Spiritual Growth, by Dr.Earl Henslin is a book can be purchased at Amazon.com or found at drhenslin.com 9

Henslin, Earl , Johnson,Becky This Is your Brain on Joy, A Revolutionary Program for Balancing Mood, Restoring Brain Health and Nurturing Spiritual Growth, Dr.Earl Forward by Dr. Daniel Amen. drhenslin.com

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How to Always Be Right (Continued) Laughter Lawyer USA may not be Kendra, but together we can find out how to make a more loving, empathic and happier you! The ability to be genuinely liked as a leader will arise only when as a leader there is no need to bully everyone into agreeing why that leader is always right, but with righteous demeanor and behavior actually do what is right. Consistent, and trustworthy behavior will help create stability and trust in all relationships. There is no doubt that people may mistakenly believe that high self-esteem, belligerence, ability to portray dominance and unbridled bragging about success and authority helps make people appear to be good leaders. But as Dr. Emma Seppala, P.H.D, Science director at Stanford University Center for Atruism and Compassion, and author of the book, The Happiness Track has found: “Research shows that in the long term, the best leaders are those who have high emotional intelligence and a values driven approach: humility, compassion, trustworthiness and empathy. These traits help them build good relationships. They take feedback and input from others intelligently, are good decision makers, are highly likeable, and inspire deep loyalty because of their values. They forge strong alliances and are supported by their followers over the long run.” 11

The Nourishing Power of Humor and Hope As a certified laughter leader for the World Laughter Tour, expert level, at Laughter Lawyer USA we encourage others to learn how to laugh without hurtful jokes, and incorporate therapeutic humor and laughter into their leadership style. Truly loving people know how to laugh “with” and not “at” others. Mental health is a gift which must be nourished, and mindful daily attitudes such as Good Hearted Living -TM from the World laughter Tour promote weekly mindfulness habits which when practiced on a daily basis consistently can help to reorder the brain to create resiliency, creativity and nurture new perspectives to overcome obstacles and adversities. 12 Humor and joy can be found in all situations, and with hope, even the darkest of times can become a learning and growing experience. Just recently, a great child actress, comedian and performer, Patty Duke, passed away. Her life was dotted with erratic behavior due to a bipolar disorder, yet, she was able to become an

www.psychologytoday.com/blog/feelingit/201603/5 reasons-election-is-nuts-and-thescience-behind -it ; Seppala,Emma, The Happiness Track, How to Apply the science of Happiness to Accelerate Your Success collinspublishersllc; HarperOne 12 www.worldlaughtertour.com 11

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Patty Duke and Helen Keller

effective advocate for many suffering with mental illness through publicizing her struggle. While perusing the memorials about Patty I stumbled upon an old photo of Patty Duke and the great model of resilience herself, Helen Keller. Blind and deaf mute, Helen overcame darkness and gifted the world with her extraordinary wisdom and light. As I looked over the photo of them together, I wondered, did this little girl have a clue about who was holding her hand, and

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How to Always Be Right (Continued) what a great woman she was meeting? And as her own life entered into the darkness of mental illness, did the memory of meeting the world’s most resilient woman stir within her? None of us know how every chance moment can become an opportunity to uplift, encourage, and strengthen one another. All of us hold the power to bring cheer into someone’s life. Why waste such power with banalities, bitterness and bullying? Gift someone an encouraging word or smile today. It may be the first real act of true leadership that may affect them and your kindness may make all the difference encouraging that the same cheer be paid forward to another needy person. It is the ripple effect of spreading happiness. Your example in doing what is right is much more valuable than the need to be right at all times. Please provide feedback on this article at debra@debranorwood.com and request the Laughter Lawyer USA white paper Understanding Millennials, the enigmatic generation. Debra Chaves Norwood, Laughter Lawyer USA, is a principal at Creative Competitive Solutions Inc.

Coaching: Spiritual Laughter Workshop: It’s My Life, What Do I Do With It? Programs: Conflict Resolution http://www.debranorwood.com

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Your True Colours evian速 Facial Spray http://www.evianspray.com

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Life Image—Happiness & Joy By Carolyn Bendall

A WOMAN ON FACEBOOK SHARED PHOTOS OF HER CHILDREN AND THE FUN ANTICS THAT SHE HAD PLANNED FOR THEM TO DO FOR ST. PATRICK’S DAY.

SHE WAS PROMPTLY MET WITH 70 POSTS. All of the posts were

negative telling her that she went overboard for the holiday, the posts were then critical of her further parenting skills. A friend of hers was so devestated by the harsh treatment that she tried to start a positive thread on motherhood, it took her two days to get just 20 posts. This is a sad commentary on society. We are quick to see the negative, and slow to see the positive. I see people tearing themselves down quite often when I take them on personal shopping trips, or at a lecture on personal style. After one presentation on personal style for teenage girls at a church, I had noticed that they were quick to tear themselves down. So, I ended this presentation in a way that I have never done before, I had them line up (those who wanted to) and I would tell them each their most positive feature. Every single one of the girls lined up, wanting to know what their positive feature was. Once I told them (and yes, I focused on more than one feature), they beamed from ear to ear. I have frequently thought back on that seminar. I have wondered about those girls, I told them that they know have knowledge that will give them the power to know better when someone else tries to tear them down. I have wondered if they ever used that power. We have the power to uplift, and unfortunately we also have the power to tear down. We feel that if we can tear someone else down, it will make us feel better. Utimately, it makes us more negative. We have to see positive in our lives, or we become desensitized to all the negative. What happens then? The negative begins to be the normal for us. How do we step out of that negative world? It is said over and over that we can’t stop the events that happen to us; but we can control how we react to them. It is hard to walk away when negative is presented to us on a personal level. However, believe it or not, it becomes easier the more you do it. There is an old saying that I love, ‘Smile, it’ll drive your enemies crazy!’ I’ve also had people say, “How can you be happy? The world is so horrible and there is so much suffering, we don’t have the right to be happy.” Really? Oh, my goodness, no wonder there are so many negative and unhappy people in the world. It is so sad. F e b r u a r y 2 0 1 6 | 15

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Yes, there are bad things happening in the world. However, it cannot be my downfall. I can’t allow that negative to take away my joy. My joy comes from my Father in Heaven, and I will not let anyone take that away from me. “Men are that they may have joy,” a prophet has said.

A friend of mine wears a starfish on his suit lapel. I asked him about it, and he told me the familiar story…..’There once was a beach that was filled with starfish, who are not able to get themselves back into the sea. A couple was walking along and came upon a young girl throwing starfish back into the ocean. They asked what she was doing, she was not going to be able to get all of those starfish back into the ocean, it was a lost cause. She simply picked up another one and said, no, I may not be able to help all of them, but this one, I helped, as she threw the starfish back into the water.’ The world is like that, if we look at the entire picture, it becomes overwhelming and depressing. But, if we just pick up one starfish and throw it back into the ocean, it becomes a joyful moment, which can be mulitplied over and over. Your starfish may be your family, it might be the children you teach, it might be the people you nurse back to health, or child whose cancer you cured. It might be the homeless person to whom you gave a sandwich, or the family that was the recipient of your best vegetable soup, or the elderly neighbor that your son mows the lawn for and you take out on her errands. Joy is available in all of our daily lives. Perhaps your starfish is an employee that needed a smile, the mailman to whom you gave a brisk wave, the policeman that you prayed for that morning. Now, how do we make the move to find happiness and joy inour lives? A while back we posted a gratitude calendar that gave you the tools to find ways to be grateful everyday for a month. We will take this a bit farther this time. I’m not giving you a tool this month. You will do it all yourself. Everynight, before you got to bed, write down the postive things that happened to you that day. Many people keep gratitude journals, I challenge you to keep one for a month. I will take my own challenge, and take it a bit farther…I will post my gratitude journal in next month’s magazine. Take the challenge…

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To order the workbook, $12.95, or monthly support for $35 a month or $300 a year: http://yourtruecolours.biz/store.html

We live in an age where instant gratification is at its height. Instant gratification does not encourage the setting of short term, and eventually, long term goals. We have developed a simple program of goal setting and working towards individual changes within oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s life experiences and daily encounters. Our subjects cover a variety of different options within oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s personality, personal choices, or professional endeavors. Do not overload yourself. Make yourself accountable. Present yourself in your best light, and then move forward toward that life definition. Select two goals a month, one from two different subjects. After you have completed one goal in each subject; start over again. Sometimes you may be able to choose more than two goals a month, however, realize that to change a behavior one must do a goal for at least 21 days. Do not give up. If you stop for a few days, just pick up where you left off. It if is a goal that would change behavior, then your 21 days would start over. Need help? For $35 a month, we will provide support weekly through email and one video chat call a month.

Get Real Fashion Sense By Carolyn Bendall Paperback, 74 Pages Price: $14.98 Ships in 7 - 10 business days Learn how to create a workable wardrobe by using simple steps in color, personality, and body line. http://yourtruecolours.biz/store.html

Have you been told your style is ‘Dowdy’? Have you been told you should wear more makeup? Have you been told you just don’t dress up enough? This book is for you, and for the person that said that to you! Learn about Personality, Body Line, and Colour and how it applies to how you purchase and wear clothes.

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Passport for your Palate-The South Pacific’s Poisson By Lisa Rossmeissl

Photos Courtesy of Boomerang Escapes

I HAVE A TASTE FOR TRAVEL. THAT IS TO SAY WHEN I TRAVEL I LIKE TO TASTE. ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS TO DO IS TRY THE LOCAL FOOD NO MATTER WHICH DESTINATION I LAND IN. FOR ME, SLIPPING INTO THE CULTURE AND HABITS OF THE PEOPLE MAKES THE TRIP ALL THE MORE FASCINATING. OFTEN A DESTINATIONS FOOD CAN BE ITS TRUE DEFINER. Upon visiting the French Polynesian Islands of Tahiti, Moorea, Bora Bora and Le Taha'a, I couldn't have been more excited to discover that their famed delicacy is Poisson Cru. Poisson

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Cru literally means raw fish. Being a major fish lover, especially for raw fish, I was delighted when told I must try the Poisson Cru. Poisson Cru is a famous Tahitian dish similar to Latin Ceviche, Hawaiian Poke or Kokoda. It consists of raw fish marinated in coconut milk and citrus juice. The coconut milk gives it a softer texture. One try of this dish and you will be craving it! For me, finding out that it was available on nearly every menu, meant I could have it for breakfast, lunch and dinner. And I did! The dish is fairly easy to replicate at home, but won't taste nearly as good as having it in the island backdrops of the South Pacific. Using simple ingredients (the fresher the better) with minimal preparation time you are going to want to try this dish at home.

Here is a sample recipe from About.com Takes: 15 minutes Makes: 4 servings

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Passport for Your Palate (Continued) Ingredients: • • • • • • • •

1¾ pounds of fresh tuna (sushi grade) ½ cucumber (3½ ounces) 1 tomato (1¾ ounces) 1 green pepper 1 large onion 8 limes (juiced) 1 glass coconut milk Salt and pepper

Preparation: • • • • • •

Dice the fish into ½-inch cubes, rinse with fresh water, drain and place in a large bowl. Squeeze the limes and pour the juice over the fish, mix well and chill 20 minutes in refrigerator. Cut onion and green pepper into thin slices, cut tomato into small cubes, remove seeds from cucumber and cut into thin half-moons. Drain some of the lime juice, add the vegetables and season with salt and pepper. Add the coconut milk five minutes before serving. Serve chilled. Present on a bed of lettuce, in a coconut shell or your prettiest bowl.

Here is a similar recipe for Kokoda (Marinated fish in Coconut Cream) that I received from Melissa Watt with Travel2 after our trip to French Polynesia in December. Kokoda is a similar refreshing dish from Fiji. This recipe uses coconut cream instead of milk, white fish and less vegetables. Ingredients: • • • • •

1kg Fish Fillet (White Fleshed Fish) Half cup lime juice (fresh) 1 coconut crème 1 Tbsp Red capscium finely chopped 1 Tbsp Green capsicum finely chopped

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1 Tbsp Red onion finely chopped 1 Chili finely chopped Salt and pepper to taste

Method: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.

Cut fish into small cubes Place fish pieces in a bowl and marinate 100ml of lemon juice and a little salt Store marinated fish in refrigerator for a minimum of 2 hours (best overnight) Wash fish and drain the water out Mix with coconut crème, capsicum, onion, chili, remaining lemon juice, salt and pepper Serve chilled immediately & garnish with twisted slice of lime ENJOY

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Lisa Rossmeissl is the owner of Boomerang Escapes, a home-based agency located in Memphis, Tennessee. She has been a professional travel consultant since 2008 and specializes in Australia and the South Pacific. Australia, Tahiti, Fiji, and Cook Islands are among the specialist certificates she holds. Her agencyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s focus is on creating itineraries with their clientâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wants, desires and budgets in mind. She and her planners believe in getting to know the traveler to ensure they have a vacation to remember. With each planner specializing in a different market area, Boomerang Escapes can offer a wide ride of leisure vacation planning. Call 901-386-3600, Email info@boomerangescapes.com or visit the web www.boomerangescapes.com for more information.

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Coaching: Spiritual Laughter Workshop: Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s My Life, What Do I Do With It? Programs: Conflict Resolution

http://debranorwood.com/ dnorwood1@yahoo.com Look Good Feel Good Radio Show www.blogtalkradio.com/bendall

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Happiness@School Project©: A New Slant on Mental Health Literacy by Sue Stephenson

I LEARNED THAT YOU DON’T HAVE TO • MAKE FUN OF SOMEONE TO MAKE THEM LAUGH. —TANESH • IT HELPED ME GET ALL MY ISSUES OFF MY MIND AND REALLY HELPED ME LAUGH. —SONIA • IT HELPED PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THEMSELVES. —GANDRAV The Happiness-at-School Project© is a joyful, literacy learning experience that was created by Sue Stephenson in 2013 at North Kipling Junior Middle School in the Toronto District School Board, in Ontario, Canada. Sue is a former teacher and staff learning specialist who has always focused on the benefits of laughter in her life and work. This project incorporates mental health and wellbeing, positive psychology, happiness, laughter and features stand-up comedy. It is a cool, oneof-a-kind project for students and teachers. The Happiness-at-School Project© deeply appreciates the commitment of two very special comedian coaches, Marc Hallworth and Kyle Woolven, who help us find our “funny” in everyday life and have been instrumental in designing this Project. Although there are multiple entry points in the curriculum and family discussions, we suggest choosing a literacy or mental health/ well-being focus. These two focus areas are merged in two support documents. We encourage you to use your imagination and adapt the Facilitator Playbook and the accompanying Student Playbook with your school and students. Adapt it for other grade levels or student populations in your community. Premises: • Just like physical health, we must pay attention to our mental health. • Responding to life with a variety of emotions is normal. F e b r u a r y 2 0 1 6 | 25

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• Everyone runs into problems in life. An effective way to deal with problems is by turning them into comedy — from problems into punchlines. We build from these premises in our Happiness-at-School Project©.

The project works like this: Stephenson as facilitator, along with professional, comedian-coaches Marc Hallworth and Kyle Woolven, run a series of workshops with pioneering grade seven teachers and their students. In Stage 1 students experience a crash course in stand-up comedy in this innovative, activitybased approach used to teach the literacy and/or mental health curriculum. Students will complete several activities on these topics including performing a One Minute Joke (written by someone else), followed by writing and performing a Two Minute Stand-Up Comedy Act about their own life — with lots of help! They explore the notion of happiness and emotions using the Pixar film Inside Out. Discussions take place around healthy ways to cope with stress when they feel sad and the critical role of laughter in resilience such as mindful meditation.

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In Stage 2 student comedians with the strongest scripts and performances will be selected to work with the comedian coaches to write and perform in the Stand-Up Comedy Showcase.

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I LEARNED A LOT ABOUT HANDLING STRESS, TAKING MOMENTS TO BE MINDFUL AND ALSO STAYING HAPPY —ISHANI EVERY BAD OR GOOD THING CAN BE TURNED INTO SOMETHING FUNNY.—DANIEL IT BROUGHT A LOT OF POSITIVE VIBES TO OUR SCHOOL AND WAS A BIG STRESS RELIEVER. —KARAN I LEARNED THAT BEING SAD, ANGRY, AFRAID, ETC. IS PART OF BEING HAPPY. —HAILIE

This Project uses strategies to encourage skills that aren’t traditionally taught but have serious curriculum connections. Students will be able to: • develop high-level oral and writing (for performing) literacy skills, along with a sense of humour • interact with comedians to write and perform their own stand-up comedy • learn about positive mental health and well-being to remove stigma • build resiliency and relationships to cope with adversity • experience the mind-body connection of mindfulness meditation, and laughter exercises • to provide recognition and exposure of budding comedy talent; and • to build appreciative comedy audiences for the future F e b r u a r y 2 0 1 6 | 27

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The Happiness-at-School Project© is a Canadian first for students. It is modelled on a Melbourne, Australia International Class Clowns Festival for students 14-18. We are indebted to World Laughter Tour, Inc., the brainchild of psychologist and self-proclaimed “Joyologist” Steve Wilson, who has been highly involved in the design and development of the theory and practice behind the project. The project is endorsed by The Laughter Arts and Sciences Foundation. It was also influenced by the work of David Granirer, a counsellor, stand-up comic, mental health keynote speaker and author, and the founder of Stand Up For Mental Health. Sincere thanks go to the Principal Mr. Tracey and the grade 7 students and their teachers: Mr. Cornell, Ms. Patterson, Mr. Morrone, Mr. Lamanna, and Ms. Orszulik for their pioneering spirit with this innovative project. Stephenson believes that we need to go back to where mental health and mental illness challenges begin with a positive and proactive approach that focuses on promotion of mental health for all students and staff. It’s time to move beyond awareness and forward into mental health literacy action. The Happiness-at-School Project© is just one example. What can you do in your community and school? Our kids can’t wait!

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I LEARNED DIFFERENT WAYS TO BE HAPPY. —TERRANCE I LEARNED THAT IS OK TO FEEL SAD AND THAT HAPPINESS CAN COME FROM ANYTHING. —YASH I LEARNED THAT THERE ARE MANY WAYS TO RELIEVE STRESS AND BE HAPPY AND MAKING THE BEST OF WHAT I’VE GOT AND BEING AT PEACE WITH IT. —HARLEEN

CONNECTING KIDS TO HAPPINESS, LAUGHTER & HUMOR

Kidding Around: connecting kids to happiness, laughter and humour contains research and 40 activities for teachers to adapt to their own grade level or student population. A Spanish language version is also available: Bromeando: cómo conectar a los niños con la felicidad, la rise y el humour. E-book Kindle and print editions of both the versions are available from www.amazon.com. This book makes an excellent companion to the project. For more information and activities, check out Stephenson’s website and blog at http://www.suestephenson.ca.

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New! Happiness-at-School Project Playbooks The Happiness-atSchool ProjectÂŠ is a joyful literacy, learning experience that uses stand-up comedy to teach kids about mental health and well-being. The Facilitator Playbook is an outline of the activities and suggested sequence to use with students, along with extra resources. The Student Playbook is designed for students to write in and use as they experience the activities in the project. These Playbooks (Facilitator Playbook (16 pages) and Student Playbook (24 pages)) are available for the special price of $19.99!. You can purchase a digital copy using the Buy Now button below through PayPal. Alternatively, you can order a copy of the Playbooks by sending Sue a message through the Contact form on her site. Once you have purchased these documents, they are yours to copy and use with your class or family. Contact Sue for a school or board license for these Playbooks. In addition to these books, follow Sueâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s BLOG to find even more hints and resources to use!

https://www.paypal.com/webapps/checkout/webflow/sparta/expresscheckoutvalidatedataflow?execution=e1s2

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http://www.valentia.com

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19 Ways to Enhance Your Sense of Humor From: http://www.humormonth.com/resources.html

BRING OUT THE LAUGHTER FROM WITHIN.

The Best Medicine WHAT IS THE GREATEST REWARD OF BEING ALIVE? IS IT CHOCOLATE, SEX, ICE CREAM, TROPICAL VACATIONS, HUGS FROM CHILDREN, A PERFECT NIGHT’S SLEEP, OR THE SATISFACTION OF A JOB WELL DONE? A thousand people, a thousand different answers. But one supreme pleasure that spans all people is laughter.

Little can compare to the feeling of a deep, complete, heartfelt laughing spell. No matter your age, wealth, race, or living situation, life is good when laughter is frequent. Life is also healthier. Research finds that humor can help you cope better with pain, enhance your immune system, reduce stress, even help you live longer. Laughter, doctors and psychologists agree, is an essential component of a healthy, happy life. As Mark Twain once said, “Studying humor is like dissecting a frog — you may know a lot but you end up with a dead frog.” Nonetheless, we’re giving it a try. Here are 19 tips for getting — or growing — your sense of humor, based partly on the idea that you comstockcomplete Laughter is one of life’s greatest pleasures!

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can’t be funny if you don’t understand what funny is. 1. First, regain your smile. A smile and a laugh aren’t the same thing, but they do live in the same neighborhood. Be sure to smile at simple pleasures — the sight of kids playing, a loved one or friend approaching, the successful completion of a task, the witnessing of something amazing or humorous. Smiles indicate that stress and the weight of the world haven’t overcome you. If your day isn’t marked by at least a few dozen, then you need to explore whether you are depressed or overly stressed. 2. Treat yourself to a comedy festival. Rent movies like Meet the Parents; Young Frankenstein; Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure; Monty Python and the Holy Grail; This Is Spinal Tap; Animal House; Blazing Saddles; Trading Places; Finding Nemo. Reward yourself frequently with the gift of laughter, Hollywood style. 3. Recall several of the most embarrassing moments in your life. Then find the humor in them. Now practice telling stories describing them in a humorous way. It might take a little exaggeration or dramatization, but that’s what good storytelling is all about. By revealing your vulnerable moments and being self-deprecating, you open yourself up much more to the humorous aspects of life. 4. Anytime something annoying and frustrating occurs, turn it on its head and find the humor. Sure, you can be angry at getting splashed with mud, stepping in dog poop, or inadvertently throwing a red towel in with the white laundry. In fact, that is probably the most normal response. But it doesn’t accomplish anything other than to put you in a sour mood. Better to find a way to laugh at life’s little annoyances. One way to do that: Think about it as if it happened to someone else, someone you like — or maybe someone you don’t. In fact, keep running through the Rolodex in your head until you find the best person you can think of to put in your current predicament. Laugh at him, then laugh at yourself! 5. Read the comics every day and cut out the ones that remind you of your life. Post them on a bulletin board or the refrigerator or anywhere else you can see them frequently. 6. Sort through family photographs and write funny captions or one-liners to go with your favorites. When you need a pick-me-up, pull out the album. 7. Every night at dinner, make family members share one funny or even embarrassing moment of their day. 8. When a person offends you or makes you angry, respond with humor rather than hostility. For instance, if someone is always late, say, “Well, I’m glad you’re not running an airline.” Life is too short to turn every personal affront into a battle. However, if you are constantly offended by someone in particular, yes, take it seriously and take appropriate action. But for occasional troubles, or if nothing you do can change the person or situation, take the humor response. F e b r u a r y 2 0 1 6 | 32

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19 Ways to Enhance Your Sense of Humor (Continued)

A Daily Ritual 9. Subscribe to The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon’s YouTube channel. https://www.youtube.com/user/latenight.

10. Spend 15 minutes a day having a giggling session. Here’s how you do it: You and another person (partner, kid, friend, etc.) lie on the floor with your head on her stomach, and her head on another person’s stomach and so on (the more people the better). The first person says, “Ha.” The next person says, “Ha-ha.” The third person says, “Ha-ha-ha.” And so on. We guarantee you’ll be laughing in no time. 11. Read the activity listings page in the newspaper and choose some laugh-inducing events to attend. It could be the circus, a movie, a stand-up comic, or a funny play. Sometimes it takes a professional to get you to regain your sense of humor. 12. Add an item to your daily to-do list: Find something humorous. Don’t mark it off until you do it, suggests Jeanne Robertson, a humor expert and author of several books on the topic. 13. When you run into friends or coworkers, ask them to tell you one funny thing that has happened to them in the past couple of weeks. Become known as a person who wants to hear humorous true stories as opposed to an individual who prefers to hear gossip, suggests Robertson. 14. Find a humor buddy. This is someone you can call just to tell him something funny; someone who will also call you with funny stories of things he’s seen or experienced, says Robertson. 15. Exaggerate and overstate problems. Making the situation bigger than life can help us to regain a humorous perspective, says Patty Wooten, R.N., an award-winning humorist and author of Compassionate Laughter: Jest for the Health of It. Cartoon caricatures, slapstick comedy, and clowning articles are all based on exaggeration, she notes. 16. Develop a silly routine to break a dark mood. It could be something as silly as speaking with a Swedish accent (unless you are Swedish, of course). 17. Create a humor environment. Have a ha-ha bulletin board where you only post funny sayings or signs, suggests Allen Klein, an award-winning professional speaker and author of The Healing Power of Humor. His favorite funny sign: “Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty, and the pig likes it.”

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18. Experiment with jokes. Learn one simple joke each week and spread it around. One of Klein’s favorites relates to his baldness: “What do you call a line of rabbits walking backward? A receding hare line.” 19. Focus humor on yourself. “Because of my lack of hair,” Klein says, “I tell people that I’m a former expert on how to cure baldness.”

National Humor Month was founded in 1976 by comedian and bestselling author Larry Wilde, Director of The Carmel Institute of Humor. With Larry's blessings and our own sky-high enthusiasm, we look forward to carrying on the grand tradition of inviting all of the citizens of the world to join in celebrating humor, laughter and mirth for all of their redeeming and beneficial purposes. Visit Larry's website at http://www.larrywilde.com

Steve Wilson, Joyologist and Founder of World Laughter Tour, is the Director of National Humor Month. On June 28, 2008, Steve received the mantle of this auspicious position with all responsibilities, rights and privileges appertaining thereto (along with a big box of funny stuff) from Larry Wilde. We honor those who make us laugh, professionals and amateurs alike, as well as friends, neighbors, teachers, and relatives, including your Uncle Fred and Aunt Tillie. This is the place where you can come to share ideas about how to celebrate humor, information about the ancient roots of humor and the myriad contemporary expressions of humor. We look forward to encouraging humor in everyone's life around the world and all year long. http://www.worldlaughtertour.com F e b r u a r y 2 0 1 6 | 34

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Free Comic Book Day is a single day - the first Saturday in May - when participating comic book shops across North America and around the world give away comic books absolutely FREE* to anyone who comes into their stores. * Check with your local shop for their participation and rules. http://www.freecomicbookday.com

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Become a Pittsburgh, PA (May 2016) Columbus, OH (Jun 2016) Mayfield Heights, OH(Aug 2016) Columbus, OH (Sep 2016)

Certified Laughter Leader!

http://www.worldlaughtertour.com

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Be Super Humor Powered

SUPER HUMOR POWER is an attitude informed by knowledge and made visible in actions. SOME PEOPLE ARE WAY MORE “IN HUMOR” THAN OTHERS. SENSES OF HUMOR (YES, THERE ARE DOZENS OF THEM) APPEAR TO RANGE ACROSS A SPECTRUM FROM LOW (NO SENSE OF HUMOR) TO HIGH (A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR). Super Humor Power is a relaxed attitude, frequently characterized by not struggling; going with the flow; having high levels of self-acceptance and acceptance of others; tolerance for imperfection; seeing the cosmic joke; and, authenticity. In addition to being about knowledge and ideas, it is encompasses certain things you do. To write “Super Humor Power,” I read up on every reason and method that I could find for developing a sense of humor, and distilled my findings to 79 principles that (a) were cited by several authors, (b) appeared to have been substantiated by at least some research, or (c) made the most sense to me. I first proposed and described a Scale of Humor Power in “The Art of Mixing Work and Play”(Advocate Publishing Group, 1992). I based the idea of a sense-of-humor spectrum on my observations of thousands of psychotherapy patients and, by then, more than 100,000 participants in my humor seminars and workshops. In the Western world, in those days, what some might have called ‘the humor movement’ was almost exclusively about encouraging people to develop their sense of humor and playfulness.

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The now-popular systems for invoking the power of mirthful laughter, and even laughter-without-jokes came much later. There are so many perceived advantages to having a good sense of humor that it made sense to develop the best sense of humor you could. Non-competitive games had already been popular for several years. The benefits of laughter were most often surmised to be some a kind of endorphin effect. Ancient practices involving laughter, e.g., Tibetan monks did it in the Eastern world, were referred to in vague terms; few specific practices were known or offered. National Humor Month had been established by humorist Larry Wilde in 1976, but laughter as a therapeutic activity process for mass consumption, especially in the Western Hemisphere, would not be developed for another twenty years. At that time, there was relatively little scientific research on the topic. However, there was a burgeoning literature and some workshops, which were often an off-shoot of the so-called Human Potential Movement. You would have had to consult dozens of different books and journals to find all the techniques that were recommended for developing one’s sense of humor. What was missing was a quick reference guide or handbook that could help anybody be “in humor” more often. I was able to boil down the available information to the seventy-nine “secrets” (principles) of SUPER HUMOR POWER that comprised my book. To help illustrate and reinforce these principle ideas while entertaining the reader, I dressed it up with quotations, cartoons, and jokes that accompanied each “secret”. “Your success and happiness lie in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.” ~Helen Keller

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Be Super Human Powered (Continued)

SUPER HUMOR POWER is a serious book that is fun, and it is a fun book with a serious purpose. Either way, I felt that if anyone could use the principles to improve any part of his or her life with humor, I had accomplished my goal. BMR (By My Reckoning) humor power is distributed along the normal (bell-shaped) curve. Of course, in this business, the word ‘normal’ is strictly a statistical concept.

THIS CHART DOES NOT DISPLAY MY ESTIMATES. I PUT IT HERE JUST TO MAKE THIS LOOK VERY SCIENTIFIC. People at the low end of the scale, I call Humor Impaired (HI!). They account for 10-15% of the general population (BMR).HI’s rarely “get” the latest joke going around (or the old jokes, either, for that matter). They have difficulty seeing the humor in a situation. If they acknowledge humor at all, they do it grudgingly. They are the wet-blankets, party-poopers, fun-stealers, and killjoys. They urge us to “get back to work” because “we’re not here to have fun.” These are not F e b r u a r y 2 0 1 6 | 39

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the kind of people you want to hang around with for very long and, I hope, you don’t want to be like them. If you know anyone who is HI, you might want to give him or her my book. If you sense that you might be HI, yourself, then make the book your required reading. Read it, study it, and practice the principles in it. Soon, you will be HUMOR POWERED. Most people are distributed in the middle of the scale (60-70%, again, BMR). I call this group “Humor Accidental” (HA!). The HA’s (Humor Accidentals) that is, most people, will laugh at jokes, and they can often see the ironic, absurd, or silly side of a situation (even when everything is going wrong). It isn’t too hard to get a smile or a laugh out of them, but they don’t go out of their way to be “in humor.” They enjoy laughter and playfulness when they bump into it (accidentally, as it were) but often feel too self-conscious to be comfortable in the humor spotlight. They are pleasant people to be with. At the highest end of the scale are the SUPER HUMOR POWERED. They account for another 1015% of the general population (BMR). They use humor frequently, consciously, confidently, and competently to bring joy to themselves and others. They place a high value on humor and laughter and playfulness. How to recognize a SUPER HUMOR POWERED person.

Typically, they display three or more of several characteristics. Notice that this list closely matches lists of the characteristics of mental health! They help break the tension in a situation by seeing and playing up the absurdities, which helps us maintain our perspective. o

They make it a practice of not using humor to ridicule, demean, belittle, or o

intentionally cause hurt feelings. o

They actually prepare and plan for situations that might need a touch of humor, and use it to make work and life better. They key in on opportunities to use humor spontaneously, giving rise to the oxymoron “planned spontaneity.” They appreciate satire and parody, but have little interest in using humor to hurt someone’s feelings. Their laughter sounds warm, mirthful, and genuine.

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Be Super Human Powered (Continued)

Their smiles are warm and inviting; they smile easily and often.

Toys, posters, cartoons, and fun memorabilia adorn their workspaces.

They do not constantly laugh and crack jokes; they are sensitive to timing, taste, and appropriateness.

They are easy to get along with.

They have fewer stress-related illnesses.

They charge up our teams or work groups, add spark to family gatherings and zest to just about any activity.

YOU CAN DO THIS As you absorb and practice the 79 principles, you will advance up the sense-of-humor scale and become SUPER HUMOR POWERED! Jest wishes, S.W. ### Get on the fast track to Super Humor Power. Join the family of merry mirth makers. Now there are 4 ways you can learn â&#x20AC;&#x153;How to Create Therapeutic Laughterâ&#x20AC;?. Sign up today!

http://www.worldlaughtertour.com

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SUPER HUMOR POWER Price: $14.95 http://www.worldlaughtertour.com/product/superhumor-power-steve-wilson-psychologist-joyologist/ F e b r u a r y 2 0 1 6 | 42

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Ways of Change

By Lauren Baird Photos Courtesy of Ways of Change

COUSINS AND FOUNDERS CARA BOCCIERI AND LAUREN BAIRD WERE INSPIRED DURING THEIR EXTENSIVE GLOBAL JOURNEYS. THEY WERE INSPIRED THROUGH FASHION AS WELL AS THE RESILIENCE OF PEOPLE WHO HAD BEEN AFFECTED BY CONFLICT AND MIGRATION. Motivated by revolutionary social-consciousness and sustainable and holistic living practices and whilst pursuing their individual passions, Ways of Change was born. Both cousins have continued to travel and live overseas; Lauren began her career in the fashion industry in Milan, Italy. She moved back to her home in California and continued working in the industry. In Australia she worked with fashion labels and modeling agencies all over the world. Cara lived and traveled around Asia for several years before returning to Thailand to carry out research in the border region’s refugee settlements and publishing, “We Don’t Know Our Future” A Holistic Approach to Refugee Settlements. She joined Lauren in Australia while undertaking policy and advocacy work for programs in support of people affected by conflict and migration.

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Cara and Laurenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s global experiences and inspirations have lead them to develop a sociallyconscious fashion label harnessing the huge potential of both people and the fashion industry to eventuate positive change in the world. Ways of Change is an ethically sourced fashion brand connecting people affected by conflict and migration to a global community. We offer fair wages to refugees so that they may support and empower themselves through entrepreneurship while sustaining and building upon their traditional skills. Where possible, our products are made from upcycled, organic, natural, cruelty-free, fairly traded and locally sourced materials. In offering a high-quality and socially conscious products we aim to inspire people to use the power of their purchase to create positive change in the world. A portion of all Ways of Changeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s profits are used to support community projects that focus on empowerment and sustainable living, contributing to the positive change that the communities we work with wish to see. In the long-term, Ways of Change hopes to provide support to refugees as they become repatriated (return to their country of origin), resettled (settled into a third country) or integrated into local communities (where they are currently living).

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Ways of Change (Continued) Ways of Change was born on a family trip to Bali, Indonesia in 2013, when Cara introduced the idea to Lauren. Cara had lived and worked with many refugees living on the Thailand Burma border when she was conducting research in 2011. The individuals she met had unique traditional skills when it came to hand making jewelry and accessories, but had no access to a marketplace to sell them. Ways of Change then began to evolve. Lauren came on board to contribute to the design of products that would be fashion forward and marketable on a global scale, something that would fuse together the traditions of the communities with exceptional style and design. The name Ways of Change recognizes the existence of the many avenues that can and will lead the world to positive change, both within the refugee sector as well as the fashion industry. It reminds us to keep an open-mind and appreciate others’ approaches to change as well. Ways of Change also pays tribute to our connection as a family in that the “Way” has been borrowed from our mothers’ maiden names, Conway. Ways of Change is an embodiment of our inspirations, experiences and vision for the future.

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http://www.bywaysofchange.com/

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http://www.Exuviance.com Exuviance skin care is clinically proven to reduce lines and wrinkles, increase firmness, smooth texture and even skin tone with a patented bionic blend of highly evolved Polyhydroxy and Alpha Hydroxy acids. Discover dermatologist developed skin care that has perfected the science of skin transformation by delivering full-strength anti-aging benefits without irritation.

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