626 CAPRICORN ROAD
AUTUMN FEVER NOVEMBER 2018
A 92ARTIST Productions Publication
CONTENTS
pg 4 Message from the Editor/Credits
pg 7 This Month’s Theme
pg 8 INTO THE WOODS Where Your True Nature is Revealed pg 36 ELEVENTH TIME DAZE Wrapped Up In Memories
pg 60 FALLING HARD AGAIN Love Has No Limit pg 90 SONGS THAT INSPIRED THIS ISSUE Our November Issue Playlist
FEATURES pg 32 Wrong Way, Sweetie pg 44 This Time of Year Hurts Me the Most
pg 67 Secrets Revealed at Dinnertime
WRITING pg 14 Misguided pg 21 I Found Comfort Amongst the Leaves pg 26 This Weather Bites Back pg 41 The Time Has Come to Bury My Mistakes pg 49 Clocks Don’t Discriminate
pg 56 Eight Letters Delivered on the 11th pg 70 This Flame is the Catalyst for My Devotion pg 79 When Are You Going to Ask Me Out? pg 87 At the Top of the Hour
MESSAGE FROM THE EDITOR Hey everyone! My name is Ceirra Burton, and I am the creator and editor-in-chief of 626 Capricorn Road. Thank you so much for taking the time to read the November issue. 626 Capricorn Road is a magazine that is ever-changing and with this month’s issue, “Autumn Fever,” I wanted to showcase how we utilize autumn as a time for reflection on love, loss, and comfort. I hope you guys enjoy the journey you are about to go on as you explore the artsy world of 626 Capricorn Road. Happy reading! Website: www.626capricornroad.com Instagram: @626capricornroad Tumblr: 626capricornroad.tumblr.com Twitter: @626CapRoad Facebook: 626 Capricorn Road Pinterest: 626capricornroad Photography by: Ceirra Burton Written Work by: Ceirra Burton
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This Month’s Theme For this month’s theme, I wanted to explore the essence of autumn and how it’s often used as a time for reflection. During autumn, we stop and take the time to reflect on what we’re grateful for and what we’ve allowed ourselves to let go. Reflection comes in many forms. It can happen during a period of grief or success. It can occur around the holidays or on an average day. It’s something we do with ourselves or with others. So, I wanted to take that feeling and put it into this issue. With the photos, I tried to bring warm colors to familiar places of comfort, such as the forest or our homes. For the writing, I wanted to talk about love, loss, and everything in between. We find ourselves gravitating towards people who bring joy to our lives or complete sadness. These interactions remind us of everything life has to offer. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I hope this theme plays out throughout the issue. So, without further ado, let’s succumb to “Autumn Fever.”
- Ceirra Burton
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INTO WOO THE DS
8
Where Your True Nature is Revealed
Misguided I’ve been waiting for this day forever. You invited me for an adventure in the woods. To spend the day together with no inhibitions, but I realized you may not be the one for me. A pocketful of betrayal handed to me in exchange for my heart. I should’ve never taken a chance on you. You were the center of my world, and I rotated on a broken axis my perspective to suit your needs. The weight became unbalanced, and I had to keep mending it until it was irreparable. Being young and reckless isn’t appealing anymore. Too many injuries and spells of heartbreak. I’ve cried for you, but you expected me to wipe my tears with your apathy. Memories made with idle hands. The fairy tales forgot about people like us. True love doesn’t come to us in the form of a knight in shining armor. There’s no white horses or fancy ball gowns. It’s crying yourself to sleep at night and yelling at the moon for coming too quick. I didn’t have enough time to prepare for the loneliness setting over my heart. I’ve waited for you to sweep me off feet, but the broom lays in the corner, covered in black dust. True love’s supposed to be right around the corner. But I’ve walked down too many streets, trying to find the right place to turn. True love isn’t something you seek, it’s something that finds you. If only someone told me this before my feet grew tired. I thought you were the love of my life, but I discovered I’ve been wearing rose-colored glasses the entire time. After being apart for so long, I catch myself feeling as if my world has crumbled at the thought of you. It is in these woods I am reminded I shouldn’t have feelings of jealousy and anger. My heart shouldn’t be this fragile. I didn’t realize how much the woods become a place for discovery. An area that opens your eyes to the things which plague your heart the most. I discovered this isn’t the place to find love. Love is more complicated than human life itself. There are so many layers to love. It can be hard to realize your “soulmate” was nothing more than a pretty mirage. These discoveries are the most painful because you can’t erase the memories you made. Yet, you’ll do everything in your power to rectify it before you become stuck in the cycle of false love forever. 14
I’ve Found Comfort Amongst the Leaves You seek solace in a place away from the city. It’s hard to find a place to decompress. There are so many noises and bright lights infiltrating your senses. There are too many shiny things in this world. Yet, the one thing you cared about has rusted over beyond repair. You thought he was the one, but he came with an instruction manual. You should’ve stayed away. You should’ve steered clear of the trouble to come from being with him. But you ignored all warnings and look where you are now. Breakups with soulmates are the worst to get over. But, because he wasn’t your forever, it hurt even more. You dedicated so much time to him, but he never appreciated you. Never valued your time nor proved you were the only one for him. What you expected was open arms and soothing words of love. Yet, you were never able to voice your opinion without intolerable backlash. He always had to get the last word in. You could never cry out loud for fear of ridicule. So, you fell asleep on tear-stained pillowcases. You bottled up your emotions, but it was only a matter of time before you exploded. Every fight was a game of war. Every argument led to a battle wound. Surrendering only when you had no choice. Now it came time to leave. He did everything he could to keep you in his safe zone, but you mustered up the courage to burn it down. Leaving nothing but ash in your wake as you walked out the door.
You ran to the one place that gave you the courage to shed an unlimited amount of tears.
Your walls came down because nature took care of you in the way that he never could. Mother Nature allowed you to cry in her arms. The forest was the only real place you were able to be yourself. The trees never judged, and the roots embraced you as if you were one of their own. The creatures minded their own business yet protected you from incoming human predators. It’s a shame you never came out here sooner. You could have saved yourself many nights of aches and pains. But you’re here now and you’ve found comfort amongst the leaves. What you’ve been searching for this entire time is now at your disposal. 21
This Weather Bites Back You’ve always had a thing for cold weather. Seeking warmth everywhere you could as the days got shorter and the nights grew longer. Yet, your biggest craving was the icy lovers that warmed your bed. Autumn is the time to find your true love, and you want to the coldest of them all. You wanted a stubborn lover. Where compromise was the only currency you could exchange. And guess what? They looked for the same qualities in you. There’s no romance involved. They wanted to feel the same electricity that caused previous lovers to fall to their knees. You’ve experienced the same lightning strike in the past. You’re well-versed in its voltage. The spark with a fatal touch. Lethal doses are highly recommended.
But, it’s not for the faint of heart.
You can’t come back from this type of love.
Once you embrace it, it’ll become your addiction.
These are the types of lovers you seek. There’s something about the way they move that sends a current racing through your body. It happens in an instant. You yearn for the pain. It’s too irresistible to turn down. A lightning-in-a-bottle chemistry only a few people can ever have. You can anticipate each other’s next move. It’s an indescribable feeling. If only you were soulmates, not bed-mates. You’re not locked into one category of love. You can challenge each other in ways kama sutra could never imagine.
Although, it’s easier said than done. You’ll take what you can get.
Even if it means you freeze to death.
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Wrong Way, Sweetie 32
This isn’t the place to get lost in. No one gave you a road map at the entrance. You have to do your research ahead of time. Stay away from the forbidden areas. If you wander into them, good luck trying to find your way out. This place has a way of bringing out the best and worst in you. It has a way of testing your mind. The forest has a way of revealing your true self without you even realizing it. But your curiosity gets the better of you. You want to travel to those forbidden areas. You want to explore the souls stuck in the trees. You want to find the carvings of past lovers. You’re warned to watch your footing. You don’t want to reveal too much to Mother Nature. Temptation can shape-shift into whatever your heart desires. Mother Nature will haunt you and with the seven deadly sins as her scare tactic. She’ll manifest your greed. Personify your pride. Drag out your inner sloth. Raise hell to reveal your wrath. Present you with the gift of gluttony. Fire up your lust. Then, when you can’t bear her attention any longer, she’ll make you envious of the thrill-seekers. There’s something about these woods that puts you on edge. You like having your mind tested and your body pushed to the limits. There are so many areas to explore. So many stories and legends to uncover.
So many broken hearts mended by the roots.
So many tears that have watered the soil.
So many promises of love heard by the trees.
So many flowers blooming with the rise of true love.
So many leaves that have fallen from love lost.
Mother Nature is a giver but also a taker. Careful when you’re around her. She’ll make sure you leave these woods with an empty soul and the lack of desire to fulfill it. Be careful about which way you start your journey. You never know what’s waiting for you inside these woods.
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M I T H T N
E Z A D E
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E V E L E
d e p p a Wr Up In s e i r o Mem
The Time Has Come to Bury My Mistakes
There are not enough admissions of guilt I can profess to wash away my sins. I’ve committed too many wrongs to seek forgiveness, and my actions have caused too much pain. I prayed for redemption, but my sins trapped me in a grueling game of cat-and-mouse. My inhibitions don’t stay silent for long. I’m haunted by the ghosts of my past. All I’ve handed out was a lifetime of irreparable damage and humiliation from my public outcries. I’m desperate to get rid of these ghosts. Every time I try to right a wrong, a thousand volts of shame shock my core. I know I should transform these memories into lessons of the past, but the time has come to bury my mistakes. And, my soul buried with them. I can no longer sit by and pretend my behavior was acceptable. I whispered apologies into the wind, but they’ve all came back to me. A boomerang effect I can’t seem to shake. I’m trying to soften my appearance. I’ve been guarded for most of my life. I’ve hurt too many people to be worthy of forgiveness. I wish to break free from this burden, but I can’t seem to shake the pain I’ve caused. To make up for all the nights I spent wondering if I was good enough. My outburst manifested itself into the souls of the ones I love. The ones who actually gave a damn. Only to be broken down by my attempts to rid my guilt. I no longer have anybody in my corner. I must trek through life on my own. Now is the time to try and bury my mistakes in the ground where they belong.
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This Time of Year Hurts Me the Most I’ve experienced a thousand shades of grief. Heart-breaking loss is something that’s familiar to me. It’s like clockwork and this time of year hurts me the most. There’s something about the holidays that makes me the most anxious. I’m in a depressive state of mind. Immersing myself into a period of dark reflection. Thinking about everything taken away from me, and what remained in its place. There’s always a trigger. A memory that sends shock waves through my mind and strikes a chord in my heart.
A cycle of lovers that stops turning when autumn hits the air.
A death which sends me into a downward spiral, hitting rock bottom every time.
Moments of abandonment.
Everything comes to a halt because those who leave, run away with my trust.
Betrayal puts me through a fever pitch so unbearable, the only thing to shake it is pure empathy. Nothing is off limits when tragedy comes into my life. It takes a pocketful of dramatics to bring me out of my gregarious state. Depression knows no bounds and doesn’t discriminate. It hits to me the most during this time of year. We’re supposed to be surrounding ourselves with people who bring us joy. Who supports us unconditionally. Those who remind you life is worth living to the fullest. We should be living our best lives every single day. Seeing everything as a lesson learned and embracing who we are as individuals. Every day should be an adventure. Yet, it’s only a reminder of love lost. To those who have sunken into permanent slumber or into the arms of someone else. Turning a blind eye to the devastation left in their wake. It’s hard to be happy when you’re so used to the aftermath of pain. Tragic figures keep you company late into the night. A circle of toxicity filled with seeking sins that could kill you at a moment’s notice. This time of year gives me the most pain. It is when I’m reminded of everything I can never have back. 44
Clocks Don’t Discriminate Time knows no bounds It has no limits It has no endpoints There’s no trace of the beginning All the hardships faced All the rewards granted It moves forward then back Never more than twice a year It doesn’t guarantee you forever You only have right now Countdowns mean nothing It will keep moving on You see what makes the hands tick You see what freezes it What happens in between What happens when all is said and done Should we wish for forever To expand our lives times to see a thousand years pass us by Or shall we take the shorter route And move forward as we can While we can 49
Eight Letters Delivered on the 11th It’s been a long time coming, but it’s finally here. I’ve known how I felt about you since the moment I met you. Although, I’ve been dying to know if you reciprocate my feelings. I can’t take much longer. Your confession has been on my mind. The moment where you reveal to me your innermost feelings. Emptying out your soul, and allowing yourself to fall for me. I know I ramble on about belonging to the stars, but I do believe it’s true. We belong up there with the countless lovers who have sworn fealty to each other. I know you’ve been struggling with your feelings. You’ve wrestled with them long enough.
How long did it take you to prepare for this moment?
How many nights did your heart beat to the sound of my name falling off your lips?
What was your process?
How did you pick tonight to open yourself up to love?
Was through reminiscing on our memories together?
Or when we were apart? We spent many days and nights alone, praying for the next time we could be in each other’s arms. Or was it thinking about your life before me? Where you were a lone wolf looking to have a good time until you laid your eyes on me. How did you come to this moment? It must’ve taken many conversations with yourself to realize I’m what you want. It couldn’t have been easy. I know took me a while to process the scope of my love for you. I became excited to fall in love with you every single day. Yet, there must’ve been some hesitation on your part. Something that kept you from having this conversation with yourself. To break down your thoughts about romance, relationships, epic loves. Everything we read in fairy tales as kids.
When did you realize you loved me?
Something must’ve brought pure joy to your heart and a massive smile to your face.
When did you know you wanted to deliver those eight letters to me?
When did you want to say I love you? 56
FALLING HARD AGAIN
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Love Has No Limit
Secrets Revealed at Dinnertime
You’ve spent so many years holding on to all your secrets. You’ve sworn fealty to them. You’ll never reveal them. You’ll take them to the grave. They’ve been in the dark for so long you’re afraid if any light shines on them, they’ll crumble and fall apart.
But, what would it feel like to be free? What will it feel like to have everything out in the open?
You swore you would never open up your closet, but you shouldn’t hold on to things that don’t add value to your life. You should get rid of things dragging you down. These secrets have festered into toxic thoughts. They range from redeemable to irreparable. You’ve caused so much damage to your life and the lives of others. Your lies are stuck in its own spider webs, but it’s time to say goodbye to your burdens.
Will it be a joyous moment once they’re gone?
Or will it tear your world apart?
How will the others react?
Can they handle the truth?
Or are they so used to your lies, anything reputable coming out of your mouth is the equivalent of a comedic joke?
You’ve told so many fables, your cries of redemption are reminiscent of the boy who cried wolf.
But if you bared your soul, would they be happy for you?
Would your family and peers, praise you for speaking about your past indiscretions?
Or would they reprimand you?
Will they shame you?
If you get caught in a lie, will they disown you?
Or will they love you unconditionally?
You gave them the keys to your closet with the warning to enter at their own risk. It’s hard to imagine what will happen after you’ve dropped the weight of your secrets. You can’t predict the future. Whether you’ll survive the impact or shatter into a thousand pieces. Now’s the time. You’ve been in the state of mind for too long. You’ve mustered up the courage to make your big announcement. And, there’s nothing more entertaining than secrets at dinnertime. 67
This Flame is the Catalyst for My Devotion This flame is a token of my undivided attention. I’ve wanted you for so long. I’ve burned more than a thousand matches to catch your eye. I’ve set fire to all my inhibitions. The ash is my calling card. Every ounce of love I have for you is indestructible yet burns hot whenever I’m with you. I want a taste of everything you possess. The intelligence you exude and the confidence you display, which keeps me on my toes. I hang onto every word that leaves your lips. Those syllables make up words of laughter or sorrow. Words of wisdom or pure desire. Other suitors cannot match my devotion to you.
Who tends to your every need better than I do?
Who challenges your mind during deep conversations?
Who sets your soul on fire like I do with my actions of comfort?
Who swears loyalty to you more than I do?
See how this flame is burning brighter?
How the orange and yellow hues are dancing to the beat of my heart?
What makes your heart sing?
What makes your blood boil?
What makes you tick?
What makes you jump for joy?
I want to learn about your quirks and what makes you stand out from the rest? How you view the world and live your best life. I know you reciprocate my feelings. Let me know if the flame grows too high. Don’t fan it unless you can handle the rise in temperature. I’ve come too far to turn away now. You’re too irresistible. Say the word and I’ll entwine my soul with yours as I hand over my heart, giving you all of me. This flame is a catalyst for my devotion, and I’ll always ignite for you. 70
When Are You Going to Ask Me Out? I’d never seen anyone like you before. There was something about your energy that made me want to get closer to you. A magnetic force pulled me into your atmosphere. I approached you and made my intentions very clear. You didn’t know if you wanted a friend, or a confidant, a lover, or a romantic partner. You’re blown away by my confidence. But you were spouting too many excuses about why you couldn’t make the next move.
“Now’s not a good time.”
“I don’t know if I want to take this further.”
“I’m really into you, but I’m not sure if this is the right thing for us.”
“I want to be with you, but exclusivity is something I’ve never had to deal with before.” So many excuses. So many confessions of interest, but nothing that convinced you were serious. I’ve been patient. Waiting for you to realize there’s never going to be someone else like me. I’m confident if you took a chance on us, you wouldn’t have those thoughts. I’ve prayed to the heavens about you coming to sweep me off my feet. But, I’m the only one carrying the broom. You’re scared. You’re afraid of your feelings for me. For some reason you won’t allow yourself to embrace them. You say you’ve been in love. Moved mountains for past lovers. Convinced the stars to shine bright on your love. Well, prove it. Make the first move. Show me you are capable of all your “past” deeds. I don’t believe in fairy tales, but if you could turn our love story into one, I’ll give you everything. No questions asked. If you’re scared, let me know, and I’ll retreat my advances. I’ve done this way too many times. I’m tired of chasing. I’ve done all the groundwork. It’s up to you to keep building. If you wanted me, you would have had me by now. I can’t help how I feel, but let me know if you’ve changed your mind. I won’t have to sing a thousand songs of desire to catch your attention. I can go on my way and forget I ever showed interested. Now wouldn’t that be a sad story? 79
At the Top of the Hour I will wait for you as long as forever is a currency for time. Come and whisk me away to a place where lovers thrive and the hatred for romance withers away. I’ve loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you. It was at that same moment you looked up and saw me. I could’ve sworn something sparked between us. There was an electricity in the air that flowed between us. The sky seemed brighter, and the scenery seemed more vivid than ever before. But we’ve now danced around our feelings for too long. I need to know if we can give this a real shot. There are so many moments we’ve had together where we could have taken a leap of faith. If only we can stop pretending we’re never meant to be. I know we’re destined to be together. The idea of being star-crossed lovers is something that doesn’t happen in the modern age. Shakespeare is not the author of our love story. There are no intermissions. No prologues or epilogues spoken about our love story. Our story doesn’t belong in the theater for the entertainment of others. It’s you and I, and we are the creators. We tell the story as we see it fit. We are the ones who rely on each other for the next scene to take place. Autumn has a funny way of revealing love, loss, and loneliness. Time is passing us by, my darling. It’s now or never. At the top of the hour, we will exchange vows of unconditional love. If we are successful, the stars will align for us. If not, we may never get our chance again.
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SONGS THAT INSPIRED THIS ISSUE
I Want to Break Free – Queen Radio Ga Ga – Queen Over – Kings of Leon After the Disco – Broken Bells Love is Colder Than Death – The Virgins Bang Bang You’re Dead – Dirty Pretty Things Charlemagne – Generationals There Goes Our Love Again – White Lies Find Me – Kings of Leon Panic Switch – Silversun Pickups Fever – The Black Keys Weight of Love- The Black Keys The Flame – The Black Keys 90
The Flame – The Black Keys Jacqueline – Franz Ferdinand Control – Broken Bells Finding Out True Love is Blind – Louis XIV R U Mine? – Arctic Monkeys Do Me A Favour – Arctic Monkeys I Saw You Close Your Eyes – Local Natives Pyro – Kings of Leon Heart is a Beating Drum – The Kills Gypsy Death & You – The Kills The Last Goodbye – The Kills Hum for Your Buzz – The Kills Young Love (ft. Laura Marling) – Mystery Jets 91
Next Issue Release Date: Dec 26th, 2018 Theme: “Gothic Winter”
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