Y7 Magazine
N O V E M B E R
2016
HOW MUCH TIME TOGETHER IS TOO MUCH?
Is there really a such thing as
spending too much time together?
IS SILENCE THE BEST
DEFENSE?
Chia seeds really are all that they were hyped up to be!
In the heat of the moment is it really better to say nothing at all?
W W W . Y A
CHI-CHI-CHI- CHIA
7
E L W E E N M A G A Z I N E . C O M
IMPROVE YOUR MEMORY TODAY!
HOW MUCH TIME IS ENOUGH? BY JACOB WALKER What’s a healthy amount of time to spend with the person you’re dating? We all know those people who seem to dive headfirst into a new relationship, spending 24/7 with a new partner, but this sometimes comes at the expense of their other relationships. Meanwhile, other people feel like they have to fight their way on to their new partner’s schedule Where’s the balance? What is a healthy amount of time to spend with a significant other?
If 100 percent of the time is too much, Time spent alone can also be important and zero too little, let's try to figure out for individuals in new relationships, the sweet spot.
though, and this alone time is just as valid as other needs. People benefit
Striking a balance is often harder than from time to reflect on their new people might think: People are often
relationship and time engaged in
strongly compelled to spend time with activities they love to do by themselves. the new, exciting person in their lives.
In walking the tight rope between the
They crave opportunities to be in each demands of one’s work, family, and other’s presence, and miss each other
friends, and what the new relationship
in their absence. This time together is
needs, engaging in self-care is equally
healthy and necessary to cultivate a
important.
relationship and begin weaving two lives together.
The goal, of course, is to find a balance in which both members of the couple
But work and life demands often
are happy with the time they spend
impose realistic limits on the amount
together, maintain their outside
of time new couples can spend
friendships and family relationships,
together. From unexpected work
make progress towards their
obligations on the weekend to sudden professional goals, and give the
Changing your gears is imperative."
business travel demands, one partner’s relationship a chance to flourish. That’s " professional goals and ambitions can a lot to balance. Here are a few tips to impose stress on a relationship if the
help:
other partner expects a different level of availability.
1. Acknowledge individual differences. People need different levels of time
New couples must also navigate time
with their partner. Classic attachment
spent together with time that is
theory research has shown that
typically devoted to friends and family. individuals oriented towards anxiety in When people are in relationships, their relationships crave a great deal of time availability to pre-existing
with their partners while individuals
relationships change. For example,
oriented towards avoidance often
studies show that women who more
prioritize independence (Hazan &
quickly increase time spent with a
Shaver, 1987). Don't expect your
romantic partner more quickly
partner to mirror your needs.
decrease the amount of time they spend with their best friend (Zimmer-
2. Check in with your new partner. The
Gembeck, 1999). When friends
best way to see if you are devoting
complain that they never see you
enough time to your relationship is to
anymore, and your family wonders
ask. Learn what your new partner needs
where you’ve been, the tricky nature
and create a pace of increasing
of finding a balance becomes readily
interdependence that works well for
apparent.
both of you.
Contrary to popular belief spending too much time together isn't a good thing.
3. Listen to your friends. Friends are not only support
5. Recognize the ebb and flow. As a new relationship
systems, their opinions of your relationship predict
evolves towards a committed relationship, the ebb
your relationship success (Sprecher, 2011). Find ways
and flow of different life stressors will translate into
to stay connected with your friends when you start a
an ebb and flow of how much energy at any given time
new relationship. Integrating your new partner into
point each member of the couple can give to the
your friend group is a great way to maintain
relationship. As the relationship becomes the center
connected with your friends, while giving your
of individuals’ lives, it becomes increasingly important
relationship a new context in which to grow and
to seize chances to nourish it with quality time
develop.
together, while giving each partner the space they need to be the best partner they can in the
4. Keep a Date Night on the calendar. When work and other obligations take over the schedule, finding ways to keep your relationship a priority can make a difference. Offer your partner clear expectations for your availability during these windows of increased work pressure and hold up your end of the bargain by looking forward to a special night out or weekend away.
relationship.
TELL ME WHAT YOU EAT, AND I WILL TELL YOU WHAT YOU ARE. ANTHELME BRILLAT-SAVARIN
How to Improve Your Memory A crash course in training your brain for amazing recall
Let me tell you something utterly amazing about your brain
How would you go about doing this? Would you make a mental acronym of the items? (POM, for example, might help you recall that you’ll need to get pizza, oranges, and mustard.) Would you make up a song about the items? Maybe you’d try to make a mental map of the
Better yet, let me show you something you can do to increase your brain’s ability to memorize information easily…and for the long-term. In short, take a moment with me here and I’ll demonstrate a way you can consciously use your own brain’s hardware to make you feel—and seem to others—truly gifted.
First, consider this challenge. Pretend that I were to ask you to go to the grocery store for me to buy a particular list of ten items. Furthermore, suppose that I was going to dictate these items to you and that I would not let you write them down—yup, that’s right. All you can do is listen to me and do your best to memorize them. After that, you’d get in the car, drive to the store, and start shopping based on your memory of what I’d said.
store and walk through it to get the items. All of these are clever approaches, to be sure. And yet none of those are the approach most people would take which is to merely repeat the items over and over and over again, one continuous loop of “pizza, oranges, mustard… pizza, oranges, mustard….”
Regardless of the technique used above, the average person people can successfully recall seven or eight of ten items posed in such a fashion—and he can only do so in a scattershot fashion. He might recall that “mustard” was somewhere on the list, but he may not recall that it was the third item he was told to buy. The reason for this hit-or-miss memory is that, in most of the examples above, a relatively miniscule portion of the brain is being used to retain the information—the hippocampus.
(1) Bun (2) Shoe (3) Tree (4) Door (5) Hive
(6) Sticks
(7) Heaven (8) Gate (9) Vine (10) Hen
This portion of the brain is not really adapted to storing
When I ask you to recall the SECOND item—say, a
information in a sequential or long-term way. So imagine
gallon of milk—you should make a mental picture
the power and efficiency of your brain’s ability to retain
that places “milk” and a “shoe” together. You’re
information if you could use a whole lobe of it, say
20
drinking milk from the shoe, perhaps; or maybe
percent of your brain’s matter, to help you out—instead
you’re kicking that gallon of milk down the hallway
of something about the size of a lima bean. You can.
with your high-heeled shoe. It’s up to you.
I’ve written before about the visual portion of the brain. We’ll put it to the test today. Let’s tap into the occipital
We’ll continue in like fashion. I'll give the items in
lobe and, by doing a simple experiment, see if you’re not
sequential order, you make the mental pictures.
able to dramatically increase your own memory. We’ll use
Initially, consult that nursery rhyme list—it’s fine!
that simple list of
10
random grocery items to judge its
We are using that list as a matrix to help you
effectiveness. As silly as what I am about to ask you to
organize the data I’m about to give you (the grocery
do may seem, I promise you this: if you really try it, if you
list). Just DO NOT write down the list of items I ask
really suspend disbelief, and if you really follow my
you to buy—that’d be cheating. Go slowly so that
directions, you will be able to recall that list of
10
items
you have enough time to really create each image.
perfectly. I don’t mean that you’ll be able to eventually
If I go too fast, just hit pause on the two-minute
remember all the items; I mean you will have immediate
video you're about to watch. When we are done, I’ll
recall of each item, in the order they were given, the very
ask you to answer the questions in the paragraph
instant you want them, even if I were to ask you to list
below. Again, trust me on this: if you really try it,
them for me out of order. (For example: "Tell me what the
crazy as it seems, it will work. Ready? If so, then
seventh item was, followed by the third and then the
click this link and get ready to hear the
tenth.”)
want you to purchase. Go!
It starts with this odd list in the red. Keep it handy. We’re
You’re back! Great.
10
items I
going to use it a lot initially. You’ll recognize it as the words from an old nursery rhyme (“One two, buckle my
Now, breathe deep, relax and answer these
shoe. Three four, shut the door.” etc.). Here’s what I’d like
questions. Again, you may consult that memory
you to do with this list.
matrix as you complete this questionnaire. (The answers are at the end of this article.)
As I rattle off the
10
items (provided on the link you’ll find
below), you are going to consult that nursery rhyme list
• What was the third item I asked you to buy, the
and use it to create a picture in your mind. You’ll do this
one you associated with the “tree”?
by associating the item I ask you to get with one of the items given in that list. For example, if the FIRST item I
• What was the eighth?
ask you to recall is a bag of oranges, then you’ll make a mental picture of “oranges” somehow associated with a
• In this order, what was item number
“bun.” You might imagine a bunch of oranges nestled in a
then
6
9
, then
1
,
?
hot dog bun. Or maybe you’ll picture a sliced orange sitting in between the top and bottom of a hamburger
• Which numbered item was the “hamburger meat”?
bun. It’s entirely up to you, but I can tell you this: the
So, are you amazed? You needn’t be. You were
odder the picture, the more details you create, the
successful because you actively sought to use a
stronger that memory will be.
large portion of your brain to do something that it
naturally wants to do all of the time. Think about it: do you recall a time when you studied for a test and recalled that the answer to the test question lay in your notebook…it was on the right-hand page…in the upper right corner…. Or do you recall precisely where you were when you heard of the attacks on
9 11 /
? Of all the ways
your brain tries to help you recall information, for most of us, it does so in a visual format. By virtue of the experiment above, you’ve just proven that harnessing that power of the brain can dramatically improve your own abilities.
Now, it’s up to you to put that newfound talent and knowledge to everyday use.
The original list of all ten items (in order): oranges, chocolate syrup,
50
lbs. of dog food,
broccoli, air freshener, ice cream,
1
lb. hamburger
meat, loaf of bread, blank data CDs, and heavy whipping cream.
"I don’t remember anything about the accident, I can only speak about the aftermath"
A wise man can learn more from his enemies than a fool from his friends
NIKI HUNT Niki Hunt was the reigning world champion, driving for Ferrari and looking set to win a second consecutive championship against the McLaren driver James Hunt.
TO EAT NOT EAT
OR
TO
One of my family’s favorite shows is “The Biggest Loser.” Although some viewers don’t appreciate how it pushes people so hard to lose weight, the show probably inspires some overweight people to regain control of their lives. But one of the most frustrating parts of the show, at least for me, is its overwhelming emphasis on exercise. Because when it comes to reaching a healthy weight, what you don’t eat is much, much more important. Think about it this way: If an overweight man is consuming 1,000 more calories than he is burning and wants to be in energy balance, he can do it by exercising. But exercise consumes far fewer calories than many people think. Thirty minutes of jogging or swimming laps might burn off 350 calories. Many people, fat or fit, can’t keep up a strenuous 30-minute exercise regimen, day in and day out. They might exercise a few times a week, if that. Or they could achieve the same calorie reduction by eliminating two 16-ounce sodas each day. Proclamations that people need to be more active are ubiquitous in the media. The importance of exercise for proper weight management is reinforced when people bemoan the loss of gym class in schools as a cause of the obesity epidemic. Michelle Obama’s Let’s Move program places the focus on exercise as a critical component in combating excess weight and obesity. Exercise has many benefits, but there are problems with relying on it to control weight.
First, it’s just not true that Americans, in general, aren’t listening to calls for more activity. From 2001 to 2009, the percentage of people who were sufficiently physically active increased. But so did the percentage of Americans who were obese. The former did not prevent the latter. Studies confirm this finding. A 2011 meta-analysis, a study of studies, looked at the relationship between physical activity and fat mass in children, and found that being active is probably not the key determinant in whether a child is at an unhealthy weight. In the adult population, interventional studies have difficulty showing that a physically active person is less likely to gain excess weight than a sedentary person. Further, studies of energy balance, and there are many of them, show that total energy expenditure and physical activity levels in developing and industrialized countries are similar, making activity and exercise unlikely to be the cause of differing obesity rates. Moreover, exercise increases one’s appetite. After all, when you burn off calories being active, your body will often signal you to replace them. Research confirms this. A 2012 systematic review of studies that looked at how people complied with exercise programs showed that over time, people wound up burning less energy with exercise than predicted and also increasing their caloric intake.
Other metabolic changes can negate the expected weight loss benefits of exercise over the long term. When you lose weight, metabolism often slows. Many people believe that exercise can counter or even reverse that trend. Research, however, shows that the resting metabolic rate in all dieters slows significantly, regardless of whether they exercise. This is why weight loss, which might seem easy when you start, becomes harder over time. This isn’t to say that exercise plays no role. There are many studies that show that adding exercise to diets can be beneficial. A 1999 review identified three key meta-analyses and other randomized controlled trials that found statistically significant, but overall small, increases in weight loss with exercise. A meta-analysis published last year found that, in the long term, behavioral weight management programs that combine exercise with diet can lead to more sustained weight loss (three to four pounds) over a year than diet alone. Over a six-month period, though, adding exercise made no difference. Another systematic review from last fall found similar results, with diet plus exercise performing better than diet alone, but without much of an absolute difference. All of these interventions included dietary changes, and the added weight-loss benefit from activity was small. Far too many people, though, can manage to find an hour or more in their day to drive to the gym, exercise and then clean up afterward — but complain that there’s just no time to cook or prepare a healthful, home-cooked meal. If they would spend just half the time they do exercising trying to make a difference in the kitchen, they’d most likely see much better results. Many people think of dieting as a drastic and rigid change, with a high risk of putting the pounds back on. What is more likely to succeed is gradual change, made in a much more sustainable way. I also don’t mean to make it seem that weight loss with diet is easy and exercise is hard. They’re both hard. The challenge of a slowing metabolism, and the desire to eat more, occurs in both cases, although dietary change still works better than exercise.
But I can’t say this enough: Exercise has a big upside for health beyond potential weight loss. Many studies and reviews detail how physical activity can improve outcomes in musculoskeletal disorders, cardiovascular disease, diabetes, pulmonary diseases, neurological diseases and depression. The Academy of Medical Royal Colleges declared it a “miracle cure” recently, and while I’m usually loath to use that term for anything in medicine, a fairly large evidence base corroborates that exercise improves outcomes in many domains. But that huge upside doesn’t seem to necessarily apply to weight loss. The data just don’t support it. Unfortunately, exercise seems to excite us much more than eating less does. After all, as a friend said to me recently, “The Biggest Loser” would be really boring if it were shot after shot of contestants just not overeating.
e r u Nat e w l l a is . d e ne
TURNS OUT CHOCOLATE IS GOOD FOR YOU! Good news for your sweet tooth! According to a recent study, eating chocolate at least once a week can increase your cognitive ability. It’s true, you have the permission to get up and go eat some chocolate! In ancient times chocolate was used as medicine to “reduce fever, treat childhood diarrhea, promote strength before sexual conquests, decrease ‘female complaints’, increase breast-milk production, encourage sleep and helps to clean the teeth.” However, this new research is different. Read on to find out what makes chocolate a super-food for the BRAIN.
How Chocolate Changes Our Cognitive Ability The study done at the Main-Syracuse Longitudinal center by Merrill Elias studied over 1,000 people: the researchers used a number of different cognitive tests on people who never or rarely ate chocolate and gave the same tests to those who ate chocolate at least once a week. The people who regularly ate chocolate scored better on cognitive exams and carried out simple tasks such as remembering phone numbers with greater success. “We found that people who eat chocolate at least once a week tend to perform better cognitively,” said Elias. “It’s significant – it touches a number of cognitive domains. The key benefits of eating chocolate once a week increased “visual-spatial memory, working memory, scanning and tracking, abstract reasoning, and the mini-mental state examination.” While the research suggests that they don’t know exactly what the relationship between chocolate and cognitive ability is, they do know that there’s something special going on here. Flavonols Increase The Brain’s Power What science does know about chocolate is that it’s full of flavonols. Flavonols are found naturally in cocoa, which chocolate is made from, and they seem to have a positive effect on people’s brains. Many studies have found that intaking flavonols can reduce the effects of age on cognitive ability and memory. This study tested 90 elderly people over an 8 week period and on an average the people who ingested high levels of flavonols completed tests they were given faster. Another study from 2010 found that flavonols increase the brain’s power. It’s thought that flavonols, like coffee and tea, increase blood flow to the brain, and therefore improve it’s cognitive ability. Some Chocolates Are Better This is not to suggest that everyone should stop what they’re doing and shove chocolate bars down their throats. Chocolate is still full of sugars, which is currently the bane of the nutrient world. However, now there seems to be a good reason to eat some chocolate occasionally. However, now there seems to be a good reason to eat some chocolate occasionally. Dark chocolate is higher in flavonols and lower in sugar than milk chocolate, so it surely is the better option. At most grocery stores, you can find dark chocolate that has up to 90% cocoa. That’s almost pure chocolate! Since flavonols are naturally occurring in cocoa, it stands to reason that the higher the percentage of chocolate you’re eating, the better it is for your brain. Go buy some dark chocolate and enjoy. Don’t take it from me, take it from a scientist, Merill Elias says “I think what we can say for now is that you can eat small amounts of chocolate without guilt if you don’t substitute the chocolate for a normal balanced healthy diet.”
5 Ways to Get More
Sleep
Stressful schedules at work, school, or even both leave many of us feeling drained during the day. Although you would think that this fatigue throughout the day would lead you to a solid sleep at night, this isn’t necessarily true. In fact, the very reason you’re so tired throughout your daily routine could be due to your inability to get a good night’s sleep. There are many factors that could be contributing to poor sleep quality depending on the individual at hand. If you’ve found that despite your attempts to get to bed early, you’re still feeling tired each day, there are some simple hacks you can try to increase your sleep quality and feel more rested in the morning. Here are 5 things you can do to set yourself up for a better night’s sleep. 1. Develop a bedtime ritual. It can be difficult to fully unwind from a day full of activities as you lie in your bed attempting to fall asleep. One way you can prep your body and your mind for sleep is to develop a bedtime ritual that signals to your body that it’s time to go to bed. You could try things like taking a relaxing bath, drinking a cup of herbal tea, listening to relaxing music, meditating, or even diffusing a relaxing essential oil in your room. 2. Check your mattress. According to sleep experts in an article on The Huffington Post, things like excessive tossing and turning at night and increased stress during the day could mean it’s time for a new mattress. The same article addresses the issue of mattresses being too soft or too firm and suggests that you try your mattress for at least 20 minutes prior to purchasing. Although it would be ideal to head to the store and try each mattress before selecting one, most of us don’t quite have the time for that. For those of you who are strapped for time, the sleep experts at Eve Mattress recommend checking out memory foam mattress options as these will typically provide a comfortable mix of firm and soft for most buyers. 3. Avoid using your smartphone. Studies continue to show that using your smartphone before bedtime can hinder the quality of your sleep. If you tend to look at your smartphone in bed before attempting to fall asleep, try placing it across the room before you get into bed at night.
If you’re like most of us who use your phone as your alarm clock, placing your phone across the room could also be a way to help you get out of bed when your alarm goes off in the morning. 4. Exercise regularly. The benefits of exercise are basically endless. Although we typically tie our fitness efforts to weight loss, their benefits in contributing to overall wellness and a better night’s sleep are almost more important. Try to exercise for at least 30 minutes each day. This will help your body run off some of its excess energy before you go to bed and will also contribute to your overall health and wellbeing which will help your body maintain regularity in important functions like sleep. 5. Stick to a schedule. Like it or not, humans are creatures of habit. This means that we work best with schedules. According to the Sleep Foundation, if you’re having trouble sleeping, a lack of routine could be the issue. Try to set a time to get to bed each night. If you have decided to start a bed time routine as suggested in tip number one, try setting that to start on a specific schedule as well. So there you have it, 5 sleep hacks you can change your daily routine and bedroom setup to get a more restful sleep and feel relaxed and refreshed in the morning. Hopefully these tips will help you achieve not only a better sleep, but a better quality of life as well. .
SCARED TO DRIVE?
DON'T BE.
START THE ENGINE NOW THERE'S NO OTHER PERFECT TIME.
5
TIPS TO
WIN BACK YOUR CREATIVITY Each of us has a ‘creative bone’ in our body, even the ones who insist that they don’t. The only problem is that we rarely find time to tap into our creativity. Even when we finally make a decision of making time for something creative, it’s hard to determine what to start with! There are so many possibilities, so many classes available in any community. What do we start off with?
1. Practice awareness of your stream of consciousness. Make a point of spending 15 minutes a day to write/type everything that is going through your mind. It sounds easy, but once you try it out, you’ll find that sometimes your stream of thoughts is not singular. Maybe there are 5 of those streams flowing at the same time. It is up to you to focus on one of them or to switch back and forth between several of them. Do not hesitate to write nonsense or ‘empty’ sentences such as “My pencil is purple, I can’t wait to eat pizza for lunch and I have no idea why I started writing this.” This is totally acceptable. You are not aiming to publish it in New York Times. This is just an exercise that will help you tune into the thoughts that you are having in the ‘background."
2. Make a list of the most prominent ideas/thoughts that came up in your writing. It can be embarrassing to re-read all the stuff that you spilled on paper/screen in the previous week, but remember that this is for your eyes ONLY. No one will ever see it except you, and right now your job is to find patterns, or a lack of them, in your writing. What themes/topics/ideas came up in your writing most often? If nothing came up more than once, take note of that too. Then create a separate file and record the ideas/thoughts that you found funny, interesting or just odd. In other words, see what caught your eye or what surfaced in your writing more than once. For example, when I was working through this exercise, I noticed that I wrote about my emotions, memories of friends and family. I also noticed that topics related to sports and painting/photography came up
3. Pick 3 ideas/topics/activities from the list that you made and dedicate at least 15 minutes to one of these activities over the course of the next few weeks. This is simply to make sure that you REALLY enjoy the activity/idea that you were thinking of. For example, once upon a time, a friend of mine thought that her new ‘calling’ was rope walking. After I convinced her to go to a local park to practice it for only 15 minutes with the people who often practiced rope walking, she quickly realized that it’s not her ‘thing’ simply because she found the activity a bit repetitive. Of course, this was not an objective opinion, but it was HER opinion – and that’s all that matters for the creativity recovery project. Embracing your tastes, strengths and weaknesses is the key here. 4. Take a one-time class or spend a whole afternoon working on an activity/mini project of your choice. Many people think that as soon as they ‘discovered’ a talent in something – let’s say in art – they need to spend a fortune and a ton of time to practice it. Taking a one-time class or just thinking of a mini project that takes several hours is quite enough to get started. 5. Set a measurable goal: prepare to showcase your work/skills/ideas – motivate and inspire others! Scheduling time slots for ‘creative time’ simply won’t work because ‘work time’ always tends to invade the ‘creative time’. Instead, pick a clear goal to work towards. Is your local library hosting a mini art exhibit? Are there any writers’ clubs in your area that host fee mic nights?
Is there a fund-raising 5K run/walk taking place in your community? Small events are great for ‘showing off’ a skill that you acquired, to voice the ideas that you’ve been thinking of and to motivate others to do the same. Your first speech at Toastmasters might not move others to tears, and you might end up being the last one at the finish line of your first 5K run, but working towards a clear measurable goal will be a lot easier than endlessly trying to make your creation ‘perfect’. You have your entire life to perfect your skills. Showcasing your progress will not only serve as a motivation to you, but will also inspire others.
Stop Letting These 30 Things Ruin You!
If you really think about it how much effort do you put into routines, situations and people that are not actually benefitting your life? It’s time for a change. Here are 30 crucial things you need to stop doing to yourself: When you stop chasing the wrong things you give the right things a chance to catch you. As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Nothing could be closer to the truth. But before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back. Here are some ideas to get you started: 1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends. 2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on. No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become. 3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.
4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now. 5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you likeeveryone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you. 6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one. 7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did. 8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come. 9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions. 10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else. 11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. Evaluate situations and take decisive action. You cannot change what you refuse to confront. Making progress involves risk. Period! You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first. 12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first. 13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely. 14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you. 15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others are doing better than you. Concentrate on beating your own records every day. Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only. 16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Ask yourself this: “What’s something I have that everyone wants?” 17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a
You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough. But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. So smile! Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be. 18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself! And remember,
forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too. If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time. 19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs. 20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway. Just do what you know in your heart is right. 21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly. 22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you. 23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done. 24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don’t take the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.
25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again. 26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life. 27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out. But making one person smile CAN change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. So narrow your focus. 28. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time? Three years? Five years?” If not, then it’s not worth worrying about. 29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
Drink Water on an Empty Stomach to Gain these 8 Benefits Japanese women are well known for their slim, healthy, and toned figures. While genetics almost certainly plays a role, many claim that their morning ritual may also be helping them stay healthier. Put simply, most Japanese women drink water immediately upon waking. This ritual, now deeply rooted within Japanese culture, is actually a form of water treatment that’s scientifically proven to help remedy a number of body disorders. Unlike the U.S. and other western countries, Japan’s population does not suffer heavily from disorders such as obesity and diabetes. It stands to reason that we could learn a thing or two from their healthier lifestyles!
• Drink water at least 30 minutes before eating, but not during the following two hours after breakfast, lunch, and dinner. • If you cannot drink four glasses of water on an empty stomach, then you can begin with one glass or as much as your body supports. You can gradually increase the intake of water till you reach the desired level of 640 ml. When Can I Expect Results? • Diabetes or high blood pressure patients: allow 30 days • Suffers of constipation and Gastritis: allow 10 days • TB patients: allow 90 days. Key Benefits of Drinking Water on an Empty Stomach 1. Helps Rid the Body of Toxins As you drink water, it naturally urges movement in your bowels. At night, your body repairs itself and casts out all the toxins in the body. When you drink water on an empty stomach in the morning, you will flush out these harmful toxins, leaving your body fresh and healthy. Drinking plenty of water Japanese women are well known for their slim, healthy, and toned figures. While genetics almost certainly plays a role, many claim that their can help in increasing the production of muscle morning ritual may also be helping them stay healthier. Put simply, most cells and new blood cells. Japanese women drink water immediately upon waking. 2. Improves Metabolism Drinking water on an empty stomach can increase This ritual, now deeply rooted within Japanese culture, is actually a form your metabolic rate by at least 24%. It is very of water treatment that’s scientifically proven to help remedy a number important for those people who are on a strict diet. of body disorders. Unlike the U.S. and other western countries, Japan’s An increased metabolic rate means an improved population does not suffer heavily from disorders such as obesity and diabetes. It stands to reason that we could learn a thing or two from their digestive system. You will be able to follow your diet routine more easily if you digest faster. healthier lifestyles! Drinking water immediately after waking up purifies the colon, making it easier to absorb Why is Drinking Water So Important? For a start, 70% of your body is made up of water, so it’s essential to keep nutrients. it fresh and topped up to keep the body working properly. When the 3. Reinforces Healthy Weight Loss body’s water requirement is not met, it has a variety of negative shortWhen you drink water in the morning on an empty term and long-term health consequences. stomach, you will release all your toxins and it will improve your digestive system. You will feel less Long-term dehydration can lead to rheumatoid arthritis, migraines, hungry and your cravings will be reduced. This will angina, colitis, dyspepsia, hypertension, obesity, haemorrhoids, breast prevent weight gain caused by overeating. cancer, pulmonary tuberculosis, kidney stones, sinusitis, and uterine cancers! 4. Alleviates Heartburn and Indigestion Indigestion is caused by increased acidity in the Help your body to better avoid these conditions by drinking water after stomach. You suffer from heartburn when the acid waking up and keeping your body hydrated throughout the day. refluxes into your oesophagus. When you drink water on an empty stomach, these acid are pushed How Can I Perform Water Treatment? down and get diluted, solving the problem. Also, This is a proven method for treating body disorders, menstrual this provides a head start for your stomach for the disorders, and eye-related ailments. Also, you will feel invigorated the upcoming breakfast. whole day after following this water treatment.
DID YOU KNOW?
• Drink approximately 160 ml of water four times immediately after waking up, before brushing and on an empty stomach. • Don’t eat anything for the next 45 minutes.
5. Improves Complexion and Skin Radiance Dehydration causes premature wrinkles and deep pores in the skin.
It was found out in a study that drinking 500 ml of water on an empty stomach increases blood flow in the skin and makes skin glow. Also, drinking more water throughout the day means that your body is releasing toxins, which will make your skin more radiant. 6. Promotes Shiny, Smooth, and Healthy Hair Dehydration can have a serious impact on your hair growth. Drinking plenty of water nourishes your hair from the inside out. Water makes up almost Âź of the weight of a hair strand. An insufficient intake of water can cause brittle hair and thin hair strands. You should drink more water every day, but drinking water on an empty stomach can improve the quality of your hair to a greater extent.
DID YOU KNOW?
7. Prevents Kidney Stones and Bladder Infections Drinking water immediately after waking up is important for preventing kidney stones and bladder infections. It is a fact that drinking water on an empty stomach dilutes the acids which lead to stones in the kidney. The more water you drink (to a healthy limit), the more you will be protected from various kinds of bladder infections caused by toxins. 8. Strengthens Immune System Drinking water on an empty stomach helps in flushing and balancing the lymphatic system, which leads to increased levels of immunity. A strong immune system will keep you safe from various diseases and prevent you from falling sick as often. As you can see, there are a whole host of benefits of drinking water immediately after waking up. It’s without a doubt the easiest way to make a positive change to your lifestyle without spending any money.
SKIP THESE TWO THINGS FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE Marriage is one of the most discussed relationship dynamics in the modern age. According to recent research featured in the New York Times, it is one of the best endeavours that you can embark on in life. Being married tends to make people happier and more content with their lives, particularly if they are experiencing stressful periods of their life. The Complexities of Marriage: Two Dynamics that can Damage your Relationship While marriage can be an exceptionally rewarding endeavour, however, it is also exceptionally complex and fraught with numerous, toxic dynamics. Along with the numerous independent interactions and responsibilities that bind married couples, these dynamics can undermine relationships and ultimately end even the most stable unions. According to Peter Pearson, a therapists and cofounder of the Couples Institute, however, more than 60% of couples that he deals with find themselves stuck in one of two such dynamics. So what exactly are these dynamics and how do they manifest themselves? Let’s take a look: A Conflict-avoidant Dynamic The first is known as a conflict-avoidant dynamic, which is defined by fear and a situation where the consequences and emotional of speaking out outweighs the potential benefits of engaging in discussion. Such a dynamic usually develops between a dominant and submissive partner, with the latter gradually becoming compliant as they compromise their own thoughts, dreams and desires in order to
retain the favour of the former. Toxic in the extreme, such a dynamic can manifests itself through anything from purchase and interior design choices to decisions concerning relocating or starting a family. This does not necessarily means that one partner is controlling over the other, however, but more that each individual’s core value sets and instincts begin to emerge as they spend time in a relationship. This brings out reflex coping mechanisms and instinctive behaviour, leading to a communications breakdown and the decline of a marriage. Over time, the only way to avoid such a fate is to go through what is known as a process of differentiation, through which both parties strive to recognise the character traits of both themselves and their partners. This enables couples to understand the differences that exist within their relationship, while empowering both parties to allow for these and push
I DO YOGA, I'M VEGAN, AND I TRY TO STAY HAPPY ALL THE TIME.
Given that conflict-avoidance is one of they key, underlying causes of divorce in the modern age, this is a process that couples should strive to go through during their marriages.
A Hostile-dependent Dynamic A hostile-dependent dynamic is another of the primary causes of divorce, and it is most likely to occur in couples where both parties are of high dominance. In this type of relationship, both individuals seek to take control and push their own views within the relationship, without listening or empathising with the other.
One of the most obvious manifestations of this is the development of a blame culture, whether both parties indulge in finger-pointing and unnecessary accusations. So as couples begin to argue more, each member of a hostile-dependent dynamic will attempt to define the problem from a subjective perspective and determine faults in their partner. A similar resolution is required in this instance, although conflict resolution is made far harder by the relatively dominant and stubborn mind-set of both partners. Compromise is the key word here, as it is crucial that each individual recognises their own faults and the impact that these have on their relationship. Most importantly, they must learn to consider arguments and disputes from an objective perspective, while also listening to the views of their loved ones. The Last Word While these two toxic dynamics are among the most common causes of divorce and relationship issues, they are not insurmountable so long as couples are willing to work at improving their marriage. Communication and a willingness to listen are crucial, as is taking the time to understanding each other’s innate value sets and outlook on life.
HOW TO DEAL WITH PEOPLE YOU DON'T LIKE
In a perfect world, each person we interact with would be nice, kind, considerate, mindful, generous, and more. They would get our jokes and we would get theirs. We would all thrive in a convivial atmosphere where no one was ever cross, upset, or maligned. However, we don’t live in a perfect world. Some people drive us crazy, and we (admittedly) drive a few mad as well. Those we dislike are inconsiderate, rushed, malign our character, question our motives, or just don’t get our jokes at all — but expect us to laugh at all theirs. You might wonder whether it is possible to be fair to someone who ruffles you all the time, or someone you’d rather avoid eating lunch with. You might wonder if you should learn to like every person you meet. According to Robert Sutton (a professor of management science at Stanford University), it’s neither possible — nor even ideal — to build a team comprised entirely of people you’d invite to a backyard barbecue.
That’s why smart people make the most out of people they don’t like. Here’s how they do it. 1. They accept that they are not going to like everyone. Sometimes we get caught in the trap of thinking that we are nice people. We think that we are going to like everyone we interact with — even when that’s not going to happen. It’s inevitable you will encounter difficult people who oppose what you think. Smart people know this. They also recognize that conflicts or disagreements are a result of differences in values. That person you don’t like is not intrinsically a bad human. The reason you don’t get along is because you have different values, and that difference creates judgment. Once you accept that not everyone will like you, and you won’t like everyone because of a difference in values, the realization can take the emotion out of the situation.
That may even result in getting along better by agreeing to disagree. 2. They bear with (not ignore or dismiss) those they don’t like. Sure, you may cringe at his constant criticism, grit your teeth at her lousy jokes, or shake your head at the way he hovers around her all the time, but feeling less than affectionate to someone might not be the worst thing. “From a performance standpoint, liking the people you manage too much is a bigger problem than liking them too little,” says Sutton. “You need people who have different points of view and aren’t afraid to argue,” Sutton adds. “They are the kind of people who stop the organization from doing stupid things.” It may not be easy, but bear with them. It is often those who challenge or provoke us that prompt us to new insights and help propel the group to success. Remember, you are not perfect either, yet people still tolerate you.
3. They treat those they don’t like with civility. Whatever your feelings are for someone, that person will be highly attuned to your attitude and behavior, and will likely reflect it back to you. If you are rude to them, they will likely throw away all decorum and be rude to you too. The onus; therefore, is on you to remain fair, impartial, and composed. “Cultivating a diplomatic poker face is important. You need to be able to come across as professional and positive,” says Ben Dattner, an organizational psychologist and author of The Blame Game. This way you won’t stoop to their level or be sucked into acting the way they do. 4. They check their own expectations. It’s not uncommon for people to have unrealistic expectations about others. We may expect others to act exactly as we would, or say the things that we might say in a certain situation. However, that’s not realistic. “People have ingrained personality traits that are going to largely determine how they react,” says Alan A. Cavaiola, PhD (psychology professor at Monmouth University in West Long Branch, New Jersey). “Expecting others to do as you would do is setting yourself up for disappointment and frustration.” If a person causes you to feel exactly the same way every time, adjust your expectations appropriately. This way you’ll be psychologically prepared and their behavior will not catch you by surprise. Smart people do this all the time. They’re not always surprised by a dis-likable person’s behavior. 5. They turn inwards and focus on themselves. No matter what you try, some people can still really get under our skin. It’s important that you learn how to handle your frustration when dealing with
person is, focus on why you are reacting the way you are. Sometimes what we don’t like in others is frequently what we don’t like in ourselves. Besides, they didn’t create the button, they’re only pushing it. Pinpoint the triggers that might be complicating your feelings. You may then be able to anticipate, soften, or even alter your reaction. Remember: it’s easier to change your perceptions, attitude, and behavior than to ask someone to be a different kind of person. 6. They pause and take a deep breath. Some personality characteristics may always set you off, says Kathleen Bartle (a California-based conflict consultant). Maybe it’s the colleague who regularly misses deadlines, or the guy who tells off-color jokes. Take a look at what sets you off and who’s pushing your buttons. That way, Bartle says, you can prepare for when it happens again. According to her, “If you can pause and get a grip on your adrenaline pump and go to the intellectual part of your brain, you’ll be better able to have a conversation and to skip over the judgment.” A deep breath and one big step back can also help to calm you down and protect you from overreaction, thereby allowing you to proceed with a slightly more open mind and heart. 7. They voice their own needs. If certain people constantly tick you off, calmly let them know that their manner of behavior or communication style is a problem for you. Avoid accusatory language and instead try the “When you . . . I feel . . .” formula. For example, Cacaiola advises you to tell that person, “When you cut me off in meetings, I feel like you don’t value my contributions.” Then, take a moment and wait for their response. You may find that the other person didn’t realize you weren’t finished
speaking, or your colleague was so excited about your idea that she enthusiastically jumped into the conversation. 8. They allow space between them. If all else fails, smart people allow space between themselves and those they don’t like. Excuse yourself and go on your way. If at work, move to another room or sit at the other end of the conference table. With a bit of distance, perspective, and empathy, you may be able to come back and interact both with those people you like and those you don’t like as if unfazed. Of course, everything would be easier if we could wish people we don’t like away. Too bad we all know that’s not how life works.
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Health Benefits of Chia Seeds ARTICLE
BY
CHEF
JEFFREY
MARKS
The chia seed has long been an important part of traditional Mayan and Aztec diets. It is native to certain areas of Mexico and Guatemala. In the early ’90s, it became popular as an entertaining household plant – Chia Pets. Recently, nutritionists confirmed what Maya and Aztec cultures have always known: the chia seed is full of nutrients and antioxidants.
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1. Rapid Skin Repair According to Nutritionist Vicki Edgson, the chia seed contains omega-6 LA, antioxidants, and protein. [1] All of these come together in the perfect skin-rejuvenating combination. Not only do antioxidants slow the aging process, but the protein is perfect for rebuilding and repairing skin tissue. Each serving of chia seed contains 20% protein, making it an excellent
2. Reduces Skin Inflammation
source.
If you struggle with inflamed and irritated skin, the chia seed might be perfect for you. This is because it contains both omega-3 and fiber, both known to to reduce inflammation. Omega-3 fatty acids work to maintain cell membrane health. [2] Healthy cell membranes allow nutrients to be absorbed and wastes to be expelled. Omega-3 also reduces the production of inflammatory compounds.
3. Boosts Digestive Health A 1-ounce serving of chia seed contains 11 grams of dietary fiber, which is approximately 33% of the daily recommended serving. Dietary fiber helps increase and soften your stool, reducing the risk of constipation. [3]Adding chia to your diet can help improve your digestive health.
4. Strengthens Bones That same 1-ounce serving of chia seed also contains 18% of your daily recommended intake of calcium. [4] Calcium is vital for strong bones and teeth. Getting enough in your diet can also help prevent osteoporosis.
5. Promotes Healthy Teeth The calcium found in the chia seed is also excellent for the health of your teeth. Try to get at least a serving a day to prevent tooth loss and decay.
Introducing Chia Seed to Your Diet So, now you know some of the many health benefits of the chia seed and you’re really interested in adding it to your diet. But how?
Luckily for you, chia is really easy to include in your daily diet. It’s relatively tasteless so it won’t affect the flavor of whatever you add it to. Sprinkle seeds on top of your yogurt, salads, and smoothies. Some people even add a few teaspoons to their drinking water.
One of the most delicious ways to include chia, however, is by preparing puddings.
The Heart Connection Between Egg Yolks and Smoking BY
SERENA
ADAMS
A published research led by Western’s Dr. David Spence shows that eating egg yolks increases atherosclerosis in a manner similar to smoking cigarettes. Surveying more than 1200 patients, Spence found regular consumption of egg yolks is about two-thirds as bad as smoking when it comes to increased build-up of carotid plaque, a risk factor for stroke and heart attack. The research is published in the journal Atherosclerosis. Atherosclerosis, or coronary artery disease, is a disorder of the arteries where plaques, aggravated by cholesterol, form on the inner arterial wall. Plaque rupture is the usual cause of most heart attacks and many strokes. The study looked at data from 1,231 men and women, with a mean age of 61.5, who were patients attending vascular prevention clinics at London Health Sciences Centre’s University Hospital. Ultrasound was used to establish a measurement of total plaque area and questionnaires were filled out regarding their lifestyle and medications. The measurement includes pack-years of smoking (number of packs per day of cigarettes times the number of years), and the number of egg yolks consumed per week times the number of years consumed (egg yolk-years). The researchers found carotid plaque area increased linearly with age after age 40, but increased exponentially with packyears of smoking and egg yolk-years. In other words, compared to age, both tobacco smoking and egg yolk consumption accelerate coronary artery disease. The study also found those eating three or more yolks a week had significantly more plaque area than those who ate two or fewer yolks per week.
“The mantra ‘eggs can be part of a healthy diet for healthy people’ has confused the issue.” “It has been known for a long time that a high cholesterol intake increases the risk of cardiovascular events, and egg yolks have a very high cholesterol content.” “In diabetics, an egg a day increases coronary risk by two to five-fold,” said Spence, a professor of Neurology at Western’s Schulich School of Medicine & Dentistry. “What we have shown is that with aging, plaque builds up gradually in the arteries of Canadians, and egg yolks make it build up faster — about two-thirds as much as smoking. In the long haul, egg yolks are not okay for most Canadians.” Spence added the effect of egg yolk consumption over time on increasing the amount of plaque in the arteries was independent of sex, cholesterol, blood pressure, smoking, body mass index and diabetes. And while he says more research should be done to take in possible confounders such as exercise and waist circumference, he stresses that regular consumption of egg yolk should be avoided by persons at risk of cardiovascular disease.
MELANIE MARTY:
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF.