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deep online at: www.deep-london.co.uk • www.issuu.com • facebook deep-london • twitter @deep_london Hello there.. ...and welcome to issue 84, our annual December / January combined double bumper super-duper possibly vaguely festive issue. Humbugs are on me! Not really, I love Christmas, if only because I get a couple of weeks off to bodge about pubs getting drunk - no change there then, I hear you cry, well, yes, but I generally don’t have to write anything down or try to remember anything. And everything’s covered in tinsel. Ooh, pretty. Not much of editorial note to report this month I’m afraid as we’ve mostly been sat indoors avoiding the snow. Actually, we did have one foray to the outside world but that ended with a smashed glass door panel when we had to break in after Petal Dunwoody accidentally threw his keys away into the snow attached to a snowball. So that went well. In fact, given the festive weather, we were going to reinstate the Tony Hart Memorial Snow-Day Gallery in this issue, but we’ve decided, given the fact that everyone keeps telling me it’s going to be snowing throughout January, to postpone it until our February issue. Happily, that also means that’s at least one page where I can avoid any mention of Valentine’s Day or romance or any of that old toffee. But February’s a long way away, and this issue is actually quite special in that it sees the triumphant (cough) return of Croydon’s finest ever astrologer - that’s right, Mystic Mike is back! Still not making much sense, but back just the same. There’s a festive treat for you. Elsewhere, we’ve been sampling many xmassy cocktails on your behalf, followed by several more curative ones, and we’ve also been diligently staying up all night drinking yet more cocktails in order to bring you our Ashes special. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, it’s a dirty job but someone’s got to do it, and we here at Deep are those someones. And that’s about it for this year. Thanks as ever to all our staff, contributors, advertisers, supporters and readers - we’ve had a ball this year, we hope you have - long may it continue. On which note, I’m off to the shops to buy all my Christmas presents and some fags and booze from the 24 hour garage around the corner (ooh festive BBQ bickettes - I thought that was what you said you wanted wasn’t it?). Given it’s just started hacking down with snow, I may be some time. Until February then, my friends - pip-pip, avanti, merry Christmas, happy new year and allons-y! Angela xxx
Dec 10 - Jan 11 Issue Eighty Four Contact Us: editor: angela ferrara tel: 07910 506197 e: angela@deep-london.co.uk staff and contributors: auntie may, petal dunwoody, mystic mike advertising sales: call angela on 07910 506197 or e-mail angela@deep-london.co.uk publishing & design: deep-london web hosting: europahost, 94 southbridge road, south croydon, CR0 1AF, tel: 0845 644 1484. www.europahost.net Happy Birthday: Jamie, Dave, Mik, Ben, JC, Ian B, Will, Congratulations: Tommy Heron & Kellie, Mat & Diane, Martin, Paul Hanagan ‘the Managan’, Brian Cant R.I.P: Solomon Burke, Malcolm Allison, Benoît Mandelbrot, General Johnson, Ari Up, Gregory Isaacs, Evered Wesley ‘Jungle’ Payne, Paul the Psychic Octopus, Paddy Mullins, Dino De Laurentiis, Leslie Nielson, Peter Christopherson, Twist Magic, Captain Beefheart
GET YOUR EVENT LISTED: e-mail: HELLO@ DEEP-LONDON.CO.UK what’s on listings are absolutely FREE!
Last date for inclusion in February issue -
25th January 2011
Your Bonsai-Editor 1
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DECEMBER 2010 / JANUARY 2011 THIS MONTH’S FEATURES:
4 22
12 16
The 12 Drinks of Christmas
4
The Ashes
12
Cool Yule
16
Divide & Conker
18
Deep in the Shed
20
News
22
Croydon’s Finest
23
Auntie May
24
Mystic Mike
44
18 24 LISTINGS:
3
What’s On Guide
27
Directory
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On the ‘nth’ day of Christmas my true love sent to me, chronic liver disease, two nurofen and a bottle of pepto-bismol. . .
R
A Partridge in a Pear Tree...
egular readers may recall last Christmas’ Nestlerode pudding and cocktail experiment, or at least we hope you remember it, because for us it’s a bit of a blur. We gather it went quite well, but the actual food making part did seem to rather get in the way of the cocktail drinking part. So, with that in mind, this year we’ve ditched the pesky ‘intake of protein’ bit, and gone straight to the booze cabinet for the Deep-London 12 drinks of Christmas extravaganza. Ooh, my liver... Firstly some information about our booze: Seeing as we’re doing this in one day, which we don’t recommend, but we’re professionals, we opted to get miniatures of some of the more exotic (read: horrible - who wants to be stuck with a litre of Triple Sec, I ask you) drinks, which we purchased from www.justminiatures.co.uk, who delivered, despite the snow, in 5 days - good lads! Unfortunately though they didn’t have any Blue Curacao or Creme De Cacao, so we are lumbered with two big bottles of those, at least one of which I fully expect to be able to bequeath to my descendants with almost the entire contents intact. All the rest of the booze we got from the only place we were sure would have all of it, the Wine Cellar in Sanderstead Parade, a hidden gem of BOOZE! And they do a wide range of miniatures too. At the moment they’re a bit inconvenienced by ongoing gas-main works on the road outside but you can still get there via Mayfield Road rather than Sanderstead Road, or just get a train to Sanderstead - 4 minutes from East Croydon and about 100 yards from the station to the shop. See, informative information. But back to the drinks, and for some reason we started at 12 and worked backwards. I think, if I recall, that was because 12 looked the most complicated, and also, on first tasting, elicited a ‘fucking hell!’ from both me and my glamorous assistant Petal Dunwoody, hence the inclusion of a ‘fucking hell’ rating, or FHR, in case you were wondering what that was. Anyway, starting at 12 seems odd now I come to write it down, so we’ll start at one. Here we go then, all together now, ‘On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to meeeeeeee...’
1
Yes, it’s a pear. Not madly exciting, but it is local, being from one of the orchards at Heathfield Ecology Centre, Coombe Lane. See, bet you didn’t know we had orchards and whatnot? The centre is usually open on the 1st and 3rd Sundays of each month, but please check at www.heathfieldecology.org.uk. It’s a pretty damn cool place. They also have sheep! For the drink, not many appetizing pear-based drinks, we found, so we plumped for this one. Oh, and we only had Absolut Pear Vodka, not Schnapps. Still, it tasted alright so for pears it’s a... Blonde Bombshell You will need: 3 dashes Pear Schnapps, 3 dash Apple Schnapps, 1/2 oz. Brandy, 1/2 oz. Vodka. Incidentally - an oz = 30ml = about a standard shot (25ml) we just used a shot glass to measure. 1 shot per oz = easy life!
Before. Look - festive!
Method: Shake with ice and strain into an highball glass. Glass: Highball Nose: Er, as mentioned we started at 12 and worked backwards, and thus the note-taking has gone right out of the window at this stage. Petal and I are struggling to remember what this looked and tasted like Taste: Nice? Colour: At a guess, I’d say caramel, thanks to the brandy ‘Fucking Hell!’ Rating (FHR): Tastebuds gone numb by this stage so somewhere between 1 and 5 Did We Finish It?: Yes! Did We Have Another?: I don’t think so, but I really can’t remember... 4
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2 Turtle Doves... Turtles. It’s a no-brainer, innit? In memory of our finest odds ‘n’ sods shop, much missed, especially by me at Xmas time as I like to fashion my own decorations from pipe-cleaners and weird-shaped bits of polystyrene. Actually, I don’t, but I might have liked to one year, and now I can’t, because Turtle’s is no more. BOO! Huge thanks to Eric Hands for the photo. Booze wise, it could only be the exceptionally lurid...
2
Ninja Turtle You will need: 1 Measure Hendricks Gin 0.5 Measure Blue Curaçao Top up Orange Juice Method: Build ingredients in glass half filled with cubed ice – Blue Curaçao, then Hendricks Gin and top up with orange juice. Muddle ingredients together and garnish with a slice of star fruit if desired (you know, if you happen to have a bloody STAR FRUIT laying about!). Glass: Hurricane Colour: Toilet Duck Nose: Didn’t actually want to get that close to it Taste: Nicer than it looks FHR: For the colour - 5! For the taste, about a 3 I think Did We Finish It?: Yes! Did We Have Another?: No! But, we now have a bottle of Hendrick’s Gin to finish at our leisure - result!
Look at the COLOUR!
3 French Hens... The 2nd ever Deep-London cocktail invention (see Calling Birds for the 1st) thanks to the Mandarin Napoleon liqueur, which I ordered for a reason, but then couldn’t re-find the recipe that was that reason, so we’ve christened it the French Emperor. Posh eh? And speaking of posh, the picture is arguably Croydon’s poshest restaurant, The Chateau, nee Chateau Napoleon, Coombe Road. It all fits beautifully into place, doesn’t it? French Emperor You will need: 1 oz cognac 1 oz Napoleon Mandarin liqueur Method: Combine ingredients into a snifter and serve neat, or add a small amount of ice if desired. Glass: Brandy Snifter / Bowl glass
3
Colour: Ill wee-wee Nose: Heady Taste: Orange fire water FHR: 5! Did We Finish It?: Oh yes! Did We Have Another?: Not at the time, but as an after-dinner warming snifter then we definitely would have this again. Conjures images of smoking jackets in front of open fires, but I suspect you wouldn’t need to have too many before falling into said open fire and setting fire to said smoking jacket. Lively!
4 Calling Birds... Birds. Birds Custard, geddit? As to the picture, we toyed with the idea of using 4 of Croydon’s finest lively gels using their mobiles, but it was too cold to go out, so here’s Angry Birds, which is on my i-phone, and therefore, cunningly, a calling bird. Oh, come on, this is good stuff! Anyway, strangely, I THOUGHT I found this recipe on the internet, but I didn’t write it down, just scribbled the ingredients, and now I can’t find it anywhere. Still, we drank it and it was nice, so I am claiming it as the 1st ever Deep-London cocktail invention! Bow down before our genius, yes?
4
A Crumble and Custard You will need: 1 oz Amaretto, 1 oz Absolut Vanilla Vodka, 1 & 1/2 oz Apple Schnapps, Top up Half and Half (half milk half cream), Ice. 6
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Method: Pour all alcohol ingredients over ice into glass, top up with half and half. Glass: Whatever is to hand. Colour: Magnolia Nose: Heady Taste: Now THAT is a very nice cocktail. Kudos to us! FHR: 5! Did We Finish It?: Oh yes! Did We Have Another?: Unfortunately not as we’d used up all the vanilla vodka. Quick, to the shops!
5 Gold Rings... Seeing as though Croydon now seems to be the event horizon for tattoo and piercing places, we thought the picture was quite apt. Also, if you’re going to have a lump of metal stuck through you, you may need one these either before or after, thus... A Gold Tequila You will need: 1 oz Jose Cuervo Especial Gold Tequila 1 pinch salt 1 lime wedge Method: Hold lime between finger and thumb, and place salt at base of thumb on same hand. Quickly lick the salt, down the tequila, and bite the lime. Or eschew the accessories and just neck it. Glass: Shot.
5
Colour: Gold wee-wee Nose: Tequila. Taste: Tequila FHR: 5! Did We Finish It?: Er, we didn’t actually have this one, even though I had bought the tequila. As mentioned, we worked backwards, and I think a straight tequila at this point would’ve sent us over the edge. Yes, we are lightweights. Still, I can see the bottle in front of me now, so I’ll have one in a minute Did We Have Another?: N/A, but we’ve drunk enough of these in our time to know that yes, if pressed, we would have another, cheers Geoff...
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6 Geese-a-Laying:
In hounour of England spin bowling genius and all-round good lad Graeme Swann - who was pulled over for ‘driving erratically’ only to explain to the fuzz that yes, he had had a couple of drinks for his birthday, but had returned home to find his cat stuck under his floorboards so was performing a mercy mission to the nearest garage to buy a screwdriver to rescue said cat - we give you the...
The picture is the staff at The Goose, as well as the Sheep and the Dragon, at the pancake day races up Surrey Street a couple of years ago. Hopefully, there’ll be another one of these in February. Yes, it’s tenuous, but Geese?!? As for the drink, it’s Geese, laying, laying eggs, do you see?
Screwdriver. You will need: Vodka, Orange Juice, Ice. Method: Put vodka in glass, add orange juice and ice. Drink. I thank you... Glass: Whatever you’ve got. Colour: Orange Nose: Orange Taste: It’s a vodka and orange FHR: Depends on how much vodka you put in, ours, about a 3.5 Did We Finish It?: Of course we did Did We Have Another?: Of course we did
6 Hot Egg Nog You will need: 1 oz Brandy, 1 oz Light Rum, 8 oz Milk, 1 Egg, 1 tsp Sugar Nutmeg
8 Maids-a-Milking... You may be a bit confused by the picture, but how easy do you think it is to find milk-maids in Croydon? Exactly, so what we’ve done here you see, is found a picture of one of Croydon’s Lyons Tea Rooms, now long and sadly deceased, which was where the Kennards (don’t worry, we’ll cover that in another issue) shop girls used to go at lunchtime (thanks to Mavis Tubb for the info as to its location). At least we think it’s the right picture of the right shop. If it isn’t and you have a picture of either of Croydon’s two Lyons tea shops / corner houses, please get in touch. But why have we put that picture in at all? Well, because Lyons went on to produce Lyons Maid ice-creams - there’s your maid, you see - job done! And obviously, because there’s milk involved, it has to be a...
8
Method: Mix all the ingredients, except the milk, in a tall glass. Add the milk. Stir and garnish with grated nutmeg. No, we don’t know why it’s called hot either, I wouldn’t risk heating this up, it might turn into alcoholic scrambled eggs... Glass: Tall / Highball Colour: Anaglypta Nose: Creamy Taste: Surprisingly nice - like Advocaat but not as sweet or cloying FHR: 1 Did We Finish It?: We did. And it goes down a lot faster than we initially expected Did We Have Another?: We didn’t, only because we didn’t have any more eggs. Could definitely have gone for another. It looks terrifying when you make it, but is actually pretty nice. Must beat that egg well though, or maybe bung it in a blender - you do NOT want bits of albumen floating about...
White Russian You will need: 2 parts Vodka, 1 part Kahlua, Top up Cream, 5 Ice cubes.
7 Swans-a-Swimming...
7
Method: Shake the vodka and kahlua. Then pour over the ice in a tumbler. Top up with cream. (Then grab a straw, put your dressing gown on, mind that marmot and the dude abides...). The satsuma with a cocktail umbrella stuck in it is optional... Glass: Tumbler 8
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10 Lords-a-Leaping...
Nose: Mmm, Kahlua-y Colour: Off-white Taste: Strong and sweet. Very Christmassy. FHR: 4 - 4.5 Did We Finish It?: We did. And Petal Dunwoody did declare ‘It’s done something to my cheeks’. Thankfully he meant left and right upper Did We Have Another?: Petal did, and there’s the proof as he demonstrates the drinking of the 2nd one in Big Lebowski mode.
Hello, any Lords in Croydon? Hello? No? Sod you then, here’s a picture of ‘Lord Who’ ‘leaping’ (see!) magnificently to lead at the last. ‘Orses! Love ‘em. The National Hunt season is now well underway, and I defy you to find me a more exciting and marvellous day out. Easy to get to ‘local’ fixtures are all in the what’s on pages. Give it a go, you might like it...
10
9 Ladies Dancing... A Lord and Lady You will need: 1 & 1/2 oz. Dark Rum, 1/2 oz. Tia Maria.
9
Method: Pour the rum and Tia Maria into an old-fashioned glass almost filled with ice cubes. Stir well. Glass: Old Fashioned Colour: Flat coke Nose: Burns the nose hairs at 10 feet Taste: Scurvy pirate with coffee FHR: 4.5 Did We Finish It?: One of us did Did We Have Another?: One of us wanted to, but no
Who else could we possibly put a picture of here but Old Palace Clog, Croydon’s finest Morris Dancing troupe and allround good eggs, who braved the freezing weather outside Fairfield Halls so that we could get this picture of 9 Ladies Dancing. Top notch! Thanks to Mary for organising the shoot and to Quentin, whose picture turned out much better than ours. Left to right the dancing ladies are: Jenny, Fiona, Nicky, Anne, Jenny, Sanchia, Rachel-Anne, Angela and Trish. Old Palace Clog are always looking for new members and musicians - if you’d like to get involved e-mail hello@deeplondon.co.uk and we’ll put you in touch with them. Also see the weekly what’s on pages for details of when and where they meet. Now, the ladies, who have been known to put it away a bit, may be nonplussed about our choice of beverage here, but we’re going for the Al Murray standard of ‘fruit based drink or glass of white wine for the ladies’. That and we didn’t have any real ale, and we needed a break from exotic liqueurs so...
11 Pipers Piping... Pipers. Two a penny in Croydon, obviously. Actually, astoundingly, they’re not, unless you pop yourself along to the Croydon Folk and Blues Club, every week at Ruskin House, where you’ll occasionally find this chap, Pipe Major ‘Black’ Douglas, and even if he’s not there, you’ll undoubtably be regaled by folk and blues music and a nice reasonably priced bar to boot. For more info for who’s on when see the what’s on pages or visit: www.folkandblues.org. For the booze, it had to be...
A Glass of White Wine You will need: Bottle of white wine Method: Pour white wine into glass. Drink. Repeat. Glass: Wine.
Piper Heidseck Champagne You will need: Bottle of Piper Heidseck Method: Pour champagne into glass. Drink. Repeat. Glass: Champagne
Colour: Pale yellow Nose: It’s wine Taste: Depends what wine you’re buying FHR: 1 Did We Finish It?: Of course. Did We Have Another?: Rude not to
Colour: Fizzy sunshine Nose: Fizzy sunshine Taste: Fizzy sunshine FHR: 1 Did We Finish It?/ Have another?: Well D’ur... 10
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12 Drummers Drumming... Drummers. They like a drink, so I’ve heard... Here’s a picture of a drummer. One of Croydon’s finest in fact, in the shape of Mat, aka, Bonzo, drummer in Boot-Led Zeppelin, Led-Zep tribute band extraordinaire (www.boot-led-zeppelin.co.uk for dates and news and stuff) as seen on BBC TV blowing some half-arsed mob called the ‘Bootleg Beatles’ off the stage. Mat can also imminently be seen on stage at the annual Moyz II Hen Xmas Panto at the Green Dragon on 21st December. Be afraid. Our final cocktail (or, if you want to be pedantic, our first coktail) therefore could only be a...
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Drum Cocktail You will need: 1/2 oz Tequila, 1/2 oz Triple Sec, 1 oz Apricot Brandy, 1/2 oz Dark Rum, 1 oz Rum, 3 oz (fresh) Orange Juice, 2 drops Angostura Bitters, 1 dash Grenadine Method: Pour all ingredients into a blender with 2 - 3 ice cubes. Blend for about 10 seconds, and pour into a highball glass over 2 - 3 ice cubes. Decorate with an orange slice and two maraschino cherries. Glass: Highball Colour: Watermelon Nose: Sweet Taste: Petal: ‘It’s making my eyebrows go a bit twitchy’ FHR: 4 Did We Finish It?: It was the first one we tried so yes Did We Have Another?: It was the first one we tried so we thought it best not to, but we would have it again. Very strong, but surprisingly refreshing. See, we were still making comprehensible notes at this stage. It didn’t last.
And there you have it. 12 drinks, 12 days, one almighty hangover for us. If you’re going to invest in a big bottle of any of the liqueurs we’ve used, may we suggest the Mandarin Napoleon, if only because I’ve just shoved the last of ours in a coffee and it’s a taste sensation. On which note, I shall stagger off into the sunset and wish you a very merry 12 days of Christmas, hic!
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Petal Dunwoody dons his whites, grabs his bat and guides us with a beautiful reverse sweep that goes for four through the wonderful world of the Ashes...
W
e here at Deep towers have been burning the midnight oil over the last couple of weeks to listen to a crackly broadcast from the other side of the world. Yes, it’s the Ashes: one of the longest standing, most antagonistic and culturally significant sporting events in the World. ‘But!’ I hear you readers cry, “You’re so cool, why watch cricket, It’s elitist / boring / pointless / flannel-laden / played for 5 days and all you get is a draw? (delete as required)”. Well here are 10 reasons why you need to take more notice of the wonderful world of cricket...
1)
Despite being rubbish throughout the 80’s and early 90’s the English cricket team are really rather good at the moment. We have an excellent captain, good batting all the way to number 9 and a bowling attack with 2 players in the top ten in the world, and others in the team or squad who are improving all the time. Compared to our footie side it’s a joy to watch. Also, LADIES, it’s one of the bext looking sides for ages...
2)
Continuing with the footie v cricket thing, England cricket supporters, the Barmy Army, are considered some of the best in the world, giving unerring vocal support to the team. A far cry from our football supporters reputation. Also, at a cricket game you’re allowed (footie fans may want to look away now) to stand up, move about and, gasp!, have a drink in your seat and are generally treated like the discerning adults you generally are. I’ve never seen any grief at a cricket game despite the copious amounts of booze being put away by all concerned. I recall, during the dark days when England were a bit shit, Ian Botham commentating for a whole ten minutes on a bloke walking from the bar to his seat carrying a tower of what must’ve been 20 full pints. The big screens joined in to show his progress, and the bloke, when he had eventually tottered down the stairs and sat down, with pints intact, got one of the loudest cheers of the day from the entire crowd. In other words, there’s no atmosphere quite it.
3)
Cricket is a game filled with bravery and skill. A cricket ball is essentially a leather-covered rock which someone is luzzing at you at 90mph. Even catching it can result in broken fingers. Try a mix of running around chasing it, throwing it with pinpoint accuracy or diving full length to stop it, then running up and down wearing heavy equipment, doing various callisthenic movements or trying ducking out of the way when the ball is travelling at speed towards your face. And do that for 6 hours. Then do it again for 5 days. Even with a helmet you stand a good chance of getting brained; getting a ball in the balls, even with a protector, brings tears to the eyes, and that’s just me watching. The skills are amazing: batting can look elegant and wristy or brutal but both styles require superb coordination and balance. Bowling is more arcane but perhaps more skilful. Just look at videos of Warne, Marshall, Lilllee and many others and see what I mean.
7)
It has a history of snobbishness and elitism but it is a powerful working class game. Many great England players - Trueman, Larwood et al - came from the pits. The Gentlemen vs Players and amateur vs professional distinctions do not look good and they took a long time to change - having the chance to knock the bosses block off must have made up for this a little bit.
8)
The aesthetic of cricket is rich and forever associated with English summer. Green and white, the sound of ball on bat and the setting of grounds with trees in them or cathedrals nearby. A slow day sitting in the sun with a drop of whatever you fancy. Afternoon tea is brought to life by references in cricket and the concept of fairness exemplified by ‘it’s not cricket’ is central to the view of a gentleman.
9)
CB Fry, one of the greatest sporting all rounders who played for England in both cricket and football, and also athletics (long jump world record holder, with pipe still in hand), was born in Croydon.
Cricket is not boring. Yes, there can be lulls during a day, where neither side can gather an advantage (an ideal time to refill whatever glass you have in your hand) but in reality a 5-day game can be turned on its head by the bowling of just one ball, by the faintest of touches of ball on bat or by missing the stumps by a whisker. Epic battles can be fought out between batsman and bowler and extraordinary feats of concentration, stamina and pure skill can be achieved. The quintessential thing about cricket is that sometimes nothing happens, but at the same time everything is happening, with every ball, with the entire history of the game and your place in it, and - with the Ashes - in over 100 years of hard fought sheer bloody NEEDLE.
6)
10)
4)
Cricket has an amazing history replete with characters, punch ups and surprises. Bobby Peel who played for Yorkshire and England was quite a drinker. He was so pissed one day that he relieved himself on the outfield during a game. Sadly, he was banned shortly after. Melancholics, polymaths, nutcases, suicides and war heroes can all be found in cricket’s history.
5)
The British Empire is viewed with some disdain these days. It’s good to know that at least we left two undeniably positive legacies - trains and cricket. It’s something that draws people in the subcontinent and around the world and the UK together. It’s now being played enthusiastically in Afghanistan and you can only help it will have a positive effect on that sadly ravaged land. 12
We’re currently winning. At time of going to print we’re 1-0 up in the series with 3 games to go, which means we have a chance of winning the Ashes down-under for the first time in 24 years. What’s not to like? So now you know why you should be watching / listening, time to find out who you’ll be watching / listening to with the Petal Dunwoody guide, in no particular order, to the England team...
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Andrew Strauss (captain, Middlesex) Got way beyond the Lord Brocket persona of the past and has proved to be an excellent captain for England. Was found out by the Aussies in the last Ashesdownunder but re-adjusted his technique and has flourished since. Fast, true pitches should suit him and the Aussies attack is not what it once was so Strauss we hope is on for 400+ series runs. Nickname: Levi or Muppet Test batting average 43.11.
Alastair Cook (vice-captain, Essex) The naughty choirboy has had a patchy time and it was timely that he hit a hundred against Pakistan earlier this year. He is a great partner for Strauss and when in form scores quick runs. He is only 25 and has already scored 13 test hundreds. If he stays in the side and fit he will break the England test batting records by a long way. Nickname: Cooky, Chef Test batting average 42.78.
by a strong attack. Now he has matured and on a good day (and good pitch) he swings the ball all over the place. The kookaburra ball means he will have to strike early but the fact he has played in Australia before should help him with control. vying with Swann to be England's biggest tour wicket taker. Now ranked number 4 in the world. Nickname: Jimmy Test bowling average: 31.75.
Ian Bell (Warwickshire) Been in and out of the side for a while. Looks a fantastic, fluent player when on form but gets out in careless ways too often. Temperament has been questioned under pressure, particularly against the Aussies. He seems to be a stronger chap now and this team generally has a better attitude. This was well demonstrated by his performances in the latter part of the last South Africa tour. Could be succesful at number 6 against a tiring attack on flat pitches. Nickname: Belly Test batting average: 42.92
James Anderson (Lancashire) He was the golden boy of English cricket in his early test career as his ad exposure confirms. He didn't quite deliver as promised and was kept out of the side 13
Kevin Pietersen (Hampshire) The best English batsmen for a generation and one of the most exciting ever. A staggering range of audacious as well as textbook shots. He invented the switch hit reverse sweep, which had to be assessed by Lords for its legality. From 2005 - 2008 he was unstoppable and became England captain. However, the last couple of years have not been good; losing the captaincy and the public falling out with coach Moores and injury in the last Ashes have resulted in a loss of form. He has a fantastic attitude and he can get up the Aussie noses. Lets hope he picks this tour to start scoring 100s again. Nickname: KP Test batting average: 47.80.
Stuart Broad (Nottinghamshire) Winning on Australian soil is in his blood. His dad Chris was instrumental in the last England win in Australia in 1986/87 with 3 series hundreds. Broad fils has become a crucial figure in the
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England team. Aggressive attitude and line has troubled the Aussies before (yes I was tiddly when he took 5 for at the Oval last year). His bowling average has improved steadily in the last 18 months and he seems quicker than he was. Add to that a batting average of a bit under 30 coming in at number 8 and you have a potential series winner. Nickname: Broady Test bowling average 34.30 Paul Collingwood (Durham) Gutted is not the word: scoring a double century against Australia in Australia last time and still losing the match! England captain when they won the 2020 world cup in 2010, their first global win. He plays very straight with a wide range of shots and is a doughty, spirited competitor. His bowling looks innocuous but could be very useful relief with a four man attack. A fantastic fielder. Nickname: Colly Test batting average: 42.18
made it his own with both strong batting at number 6 or 7 and excellent keeping skills. He had a blip in the 2008 tour of New Zealand, being replaced by Tim Ambrose but he worked hard on his keeping. and his batting class was hard to ignore. His batting will be vital if England decide to field five bowlers. Nickname: None known (although looking the ones above let’s try Priory) Test batting average: 42.13 Jonathan Trott (Warwickshire) An aggressive right handed batsmen who has made an impressive start to his test career. He scored a 100 in his first test, against Australia in 2009 helping England win the Ashes. So far he has scored 1155 runs in 13 tests. He had a moderate winter in South Africa, partly due to the reception he received from his ex-countrymen. Since then he has scored heavily and will hopefully annoy the Aussies with his eccentric preparations before each ball. Nickname: Booger (or Trottski? [Ed]) Test batting average 55.00.
Eoin Morgan (Middlesex) One day specialist who has not quite transferred his obvious talent to the longer form of the game. He started the Pakistan matches with a hundred but played pretty poorly afterwards. He is a compact left hander favouring the sweep and the pull and he is the best 'finisher' England have had for years. If he gets his shot selection right he could be an exciting test player. At the moment Bell is probably ahead of him for the last batting place. Great fielder. Test batting average 32.00 Nickname: Moggie Matt Prior (wicket keeper, Sussex) After few years of uncertainty with the wicketkeeper position, Matt Prior has 14
Graeme Swann (Nottinghamshire) Heroic cat rescuer, witty chappy and one of England's few genuine superstars. Since getting into the side in December 2008 he has taken wickets at an amazing rate, 113 in 24 matches, and is now rated 2nd in the world rankings. He has the very handy knack of getting a wicket in his first over of a spell. Struggled a little in the Ashes of 2009 but came back well at the Oval with 8 wickets in the match. Since then he has been in fantastic form with successful series against South Africa, Bangladesh and Pakistan. He is an attacking and very smart bowler with great variation and should find the bouncy pitches to his liking. Very handy number 9 with 4 test 50s. Nickname: Chin Test bowling average 26.55.
Tim Bresnan (Yorkshire) Large framed and big hearted player usually only given a chance in the short forms of the game. Has great control in the limited over games and can bowl well under pressure. Questions remain
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whether his bowling will be penetrative enough on the flat pitches in this series and as part of a four man attack. His stamina is very good and he has a test high score of 91 with the bat. A very able understudy for Broad. Nickname: Brezy lad, Brez Test bowling average: 35.14
and Swann were both picked. Nickname: Monty (his real first name is Mudhsuden) Test bowling average:34.37.
Steven Finn (Middlesex) Started his test career very well with 32 wickets in 8 tests. He is 6'7" and can generate steep bounce even on flat pitches and bowls a tight off stump line. He is getting stronger and more balanced but still has a worrying habit of falling over in delivery stride. With a little more pace he will be a genuinely tricky prospect. Hopefully he will adjust to the conditions quickly because the Aussies may target him. A likely starter in the early tests and if all goes well should be in the side for a while to come. Nickname: Finny Test bowling average: 23.21 Chris Tremlett (Surrey) A tall, fast bowler who made his debut in 2007 and troubled the Indian batsmen with bounce. He has suffered from injuries since then but a move to Surrey in 2010 has seen him find fitness and verve, hence his recall. He is likely to be in competition with Finn for the last place in a four man attack. Nickname: Twiggy Test bowling average 29.69.
Monty Panesar (Sussex) True heir to the Cat (Phil Tufnell). Bowls with grace and spin, fields like a baby lamb and brave with the bat (remember him holding out in Cardiff last year) though not likely to move up the order. He was one of the few players in the 2006 Ashes side to earn any credit (the first English spinner to take 5 at the WACA) In 2006 he was rated 6th best bowler in the world but he has since struggled and has been outperformed by Swann. It would be wonderful if he has found his attacking skills again and he
Ajmal Shazad (Yorkshire) First British Asian player to be picked for Yorkshire. He has shown huge promise as a skiddy, reverse swinging fast medium bowler and a great striker in the lower order. He made his debut in tests against Bangladesh in 2010 as cover to Stuart Broad. He, with Bresnan and Tremlett, offer the best back up England
have had for a long time. Nickname: Ajy. Test bowling average 15.75.
Steven Davies (wicket keeper, Surrey) Very young wicket keeper / batsmen. He has played well in ODIs as an opening bat and his keeping is of a high standard. He is unlikely to play in the tests but the tour experience will be invaluable. Nickname: Davo ODI average 33.66.
Ricky Ponting (captain, Australia) [Yes, I know, but here’s a picture of him being bowled out, just because it’s my bloody magazine and it made me laugh like a drain. COME ON ENGLAND! - Ed]
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A few hints and tips for the festive season from the Deep laboratory elves So Much Food: There is no-one on the planet who does not end up with acres of leftover turkey, and traditionally, a curry is what you make of it, so here’s a quick and easy recipe good for when you’re tottering about all fat and hungover. We’ve gone for mild but of course you can add more chilli powder to liven it up a bit. or a lot. Leftover Turkey Curry - Mild Prep time: 25 min Cook time: 15 min Serves: 3-4 You will need: • 4 tbsp vegetable oil • 1 onion, finely chopped • 4 cloves garlic, finely chopped • 1 tbsp tomato purée • 1 tsp ground cumin • 1 tsp ground coriander • 1/2 tsp turmeric • 1/4 tsp chilli powder • 1/4 tsp garam masala • 1/4 tsp salt • 450g roast turkey, cut into 2cm pieces • 1 tsp grated ginger, optional • 1 tsp lemon juice • 1 small bunch coriander, chopped
need to make that is your turkey, an onion, a tin of chopped tomatoes and some rice. Lovely. ................................................................ New Year’s Eve Party Top Tip: According to Doctor Who, you should always take a banana to a party, but we here at Deep Towers say this - always take a wine box to a party. They’re cheaper than bottles, are less easy to drop and smash on the pavement on the way to said party, and here’s the best bit - if you end up crashing in some uncomfortable part of the party holder’s house, simply remove the inner bag from your wine box, open the valve and blow into it to inflate it, close the valve and hey presto - a pillow! We’ve tried this and it does work, regardless of whether there’s any wine left in the bag or not. Never have a cricked neck again - RESULT!
Method 1. Heat 3 tablespoons of the oil in a saucepan and add the onion and garlic. Fry for 6-7 minutes till the onion is lightly browned. 2. In a small bowl, mix the tomato purÈe with the remaining oil, cumin, coriander, turmeric, chilli powder, garam masala and salt to form a thick paste. Tip the paste into the onion mixture and fry for half a minute. 3. Stir in the turkey pieces and cook for 1 minute. 4. Add 400ml of hot water (or chicken stock) and simmer for 3-4 minutes. Mix in the ginger (if using) and the lemon juice. 5. Garnish with coriander and serve with plain basmati rice. Alternatively, we’ve found that Patak’s Balti Paste is pretty good, and all you’ll
Wine pillow - are there 2 finer words in the English language? ................................................................ Hangover central: If you listen to medical types, the best way to not have a hangover is, ha ha, not to drink, ha, ha. Oh, what wags they are. Well, we suggest that isn’t going to happen and at some point you will wake up with a whopping hangover. To be honest I always find the way to come out of the other side, generally at some speed, is a vodka and lucozade, but that all too often leads to another hangover the next day, so we’ll go traditional and give you the International Bartenders’ Association’s recipe for a... Bloody Mary You will need: • 3 parts vodka,
• • • • • • •
6 parts tomato juice, 1 part lemon juice. Worcestershire sauce Tabasco sauce Salt and pepper (ideally celery salt) Stick of celery Ice
Method: Add dashes of Worcestershire sauce, Tabasco, salt and pepper into highball glass, then pour all other ingredients into highball glass with ice cubes. Stir gently. Garnish with celery stick. Drink. Bloody Mary - it’s one of your ‘5-a-day’ - touch!
................................................................ Taking a tumble: Or how not to break your neck on the icy roads etc. The only piece of useful advice we could find on this, short of investing in a raft of snow-shoes, slip-on rubbery soles and whatnot, is this: “A study published in the July 3, 2009, "New Zealand Medical Journal" suggests that wearing a regular sock over your shoes or boots might increase traction and reduce winter slip and fall accidents dramatically. Although the look of socks over shoes or boots might not be the best fashion statement, in a pinch it can help keep you upright.” ................................................................ Stay Safe: Goes without saying really, but never leave your drink unattended, never get into an unlicensed mini-cab and always let people know where you’re going / where you are. It’s simple, and will make sure as well as a cool yule, you have an alive 2011. Happy Xmas and New Year everybody!
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or stoop to conker, or hail the conkering hero, or love conkers everything - you get the idea...
W
e here at Deep Towers are always happy to be supportive of pubs who do things a little differently, from pancake races to easter egg hunts and now conker championships! The first annual, in fact, held at The Royal Standard back in October (this is the first chance we’ve had to get it in the mag) and enthusiastically, if fuzzily, supported - it being the day after a big old party at the pub. It started later than advertised (see big old party in the pub) - fine as it gave us time to have a few drinks which, it turned out, happily numbed the fingers and hands for the onslaught of pinging conkers, and after a brief session carefully selecting our weapons from a massive box full, drilling and stringing, it was time for the off. Names were randomly picked by landlord Martin for round one, which was nice as we didn’t really know anyone at the start, but did by the end, and the conker battle began. Having won an epic contest in round one, I went out in the second round, with my already battered conker being completely denuded of its shell before falling rather sadly from its string. The booze did help, but it was a cold day and a conker on the knuckle, or, more usually, the underside of the arm, still stings, so it was nice that Health and Safety was being observed by at least two competitiors, one with a hard hat and the other with shark-proof glove and full face protector you can’t be too careful when dealing with the inedible nutlike seed of the horse chestnut. Onna string. Meanwhile, random pockets of conker action were breaking out all over Sheldon Street and one by one, our conkers fell and eventually just two remained. The final, it has to be said, was like a Tyson fight in his prime, swift and brutal, with Sue Beresford coming out on top after her opponent’s conker pretty much exploded on first hit - it had been a long and arduous battle for that one, and thus Sue was crowned first inaugural winner of The Royal Standard Conker Chamionships - hurrah! After a few more drinks, Petal and I managed to salvage a couple of new conkers - I’ve called mine William - and have since been engaged in a gruelling training regime in preparation for next autumn’s event, so bring it on, and we’ll see you there . . . The Royal Standard, 1 Sheldon Street, Croydon. Find them on facebook!
random outbreaks of conker in Sheldon Street
The final
Winner! William the Conker
The Editor in round one 18
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Or, Beard & Sandals Monthly, or, Furry Animals, Plants & Stars, or, Tree-Huggers Unite. It’s the return of the Monthly Deep-London Page Of Nature. . .
M
ore pottering from the DeepLondon shed-contingent, with varying degrees of success...
Adventures in Botany:
A
vocado News!: As promised, and as highly anticipated by all of you, I’m sure, it’s avocado news! The news is... There is no news. I’m putting this down to my heating being on the blink and therefore my flat lacking the balmy 70F required. The avocado looks the same as it did last time you saw it, albeit with a split down one side (hence the same, but smaller, picture). Not sure if that’s a good or bad thing. But, just in case anyone ever takes any notice of anything in this magazine, which I sometimes doubt, and has suspended their own avocado, here’s what to do if yours has sprouted... Pinch out the main shoot when it is 6 inches long. This is to help make a bushy plant rather than a tall tree. It may leave your avocado with no leaves, but don't worry - it will grow a new shoot and new leaves in about a week. Re-pot. Your avocado plant can survive on just water for several weeks. When the roots are well developed, plant the avocado in potting soil in a small pot. It will be happy there for several months. Move into a final pot. When the avocado looks too large for its pot, or unhappy, it is time to replant it in a 10inch pot, which will be its permanent home. It will probably be 2 feet tall before this is necessary. Pruning. Your avocado wants to grow into a tree, and you will need to keep pruning it to keep it bushy and manageable. Simply cut back shoots that are too long. Ongoing maintenance involves feeding with liquid feed every two weeks when the avocado is actively
growing. Every 3 or 4 years, replant it in the same pot with some fresh potting soil. Your avocado will need plenty of light and water plus an occasional misting and dusting. Give it about 10 years and you may have an ACTUAL AVOCADO! In the meantime, we’ll just keep waiting for ours to sprout... In other news, however, and just to show we’re not totally incompetent, the winter garlic we planted is looking very healthy, despite the snow, so there.
Watch The Skies! With Astronomy Corner. Things to look for this month: December 21st: A Total Eclipse of the Moon (just) In the hours before dawn on December 21st, the Moon undergoes its first total lunar eclipse visible from the UK for 3 years. Sadly, the timing is not optimal as, at mid eclipse at 08:16, the Moon will have virtually set and the sky will be brightening as the sun rises. The Moon begins the enter the penumbral shadow of the Earth at 5:29 when the Moon is just under 30 degrees above the horizon. Slowly, the left hand side of the moon will darken until at 07:41 it will be within the umbral shadow. During this time it will appear to have a "bite" taken out of its lower left side. But, by then, it will only be a few degrees above the horizon and the, often beautiful, bronzen colour will be lost in the atmospheric haze. Binoculars will certainly be a useful aid and try to get to an un-lightpolluted spot with a good low north-western horizon to see it at its best. As implied above, before the Moon is fully within the umbra the Sun's dawn light will begin to diminish our view. www.jodrellbank.manchester.ac.uk/ astronomy/nightsky/ 20
Creature-Watch: In winter, birds may have difficulty finding food in the wild such as berries, insects, seeds, worms and fruit, so an extra meal from either your kitchen or some commercially available bird food will help keep them going. Feed them until the end of April, when they should usually be able to find plenty of food for themselves. Blackbirds, thrushes and robins will have difficulty catching worms in winter, so put suitable food out for them until the earth is softer. Treats you can put out for birds include: peanuts in shells, unsalted peanuts in feeders (peanuts can be naturally contaminated with an invisible toxin so make sure you buy nuts that are of guaranteed quality), wild bird seed (widely available in shops and garden centres), crumbled or grated cheese, pastry, stale cake, biscuits and breadcrumbs (moisten the bread if it’s very dry), cooked rice, potato and pasta, fat from chops and unsalted bacon rind, raisins and other dried fruit (soaked in water first), bruised fruit such as apples and pears. Fresh coconut in the shell is a great favourite with tits. Never put out desiccated coconut. Beware: Grapes, sultanas, raisins and some artificial sweeteners can be extremely toxic to dogs. These foodstuffs should be placed on a raised bird table and never scattered on the ground.
Shed Of The Month
Our December Shed Of The Month is the Plastic Utility Shed, about £70 from Tesco Direct. I have no idea why they’ve put a mop in it... See your shed here send a pic to hello@deep-london.co.uk.
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News-hound May contain news, and this month, some militancy...
H
ello everybody, and we start this month with something of a call to arms. We know you, our lovely readers, have an interest in the arts and culture of this town, as we do, so it’d be just plain wrong of us not to draw your attention to the fact that Croydon Council want to cut almost all arts and culture funding for the borough. This is BAD NEWS people, and could mean the end of the Summer Festival, the end of the Clocktower, the end of the Museum, Cinema and local studies archive, in fact, the cessation of pretty much all mainstream art and culture in the town. They’ve got an online survey which will be used as part of their consultation process and we’d urge all of you most firmly to, if you haven’t already, get online and fill it in to make your feelings clear. You have until 6th January 2011 to do it. Please do, or, let’s face it, this town will become a more unpleasant place to live in... The address of the survey is: www.surveymonkey.com/s/arts-andheritage-consultation Remember, 6th Jan 2011 is the deadline.
E
lsewhere, some more bad news in that a developer has applied to turn the Rose and Crown pub, one of Croydon’s oldest, into some flats. If you’d like to have a say on that, it’s
reference 10-02275-P. Simply type ‘Rose and Crown Planning Application’ into google, click on the first link and scroll to the bottom of the page where there is a link for members of the public to comment. Enter the reference number, then, for some reason, click ‘If you do not have a reference number click here’ (nice one Croydon Council) and it should take you to the correct page. Then vent your spleen as you see fit.
A
nd finally some good news, and still talking of Croydon’s cultural heritage,as we have been, a new night launched at Scream last month proves we have one. ‘Crawdaddy Croydon’ is a new monthly music event showcasing some of the best British and international rhythm and blues, early soul and funk, whilst reviving a little known illustrious musical past for Croydon. Hosted at Scream Lounge, Southend, Croydon, Crawdaddy will be bringing some of the finest good times blues and funk bands to the Scream Lounge Showcase Room on the third Saturday of every month. And with artists such as legendary Cymande drummer Sam Kelly (five times blues drummer of the year), and Grammy nominated James Hunter already in the pipeline, then the standard, and enjoyment levels, are already set to be high. The links to Croydon’s cultural heritage are obvious, even in the name of the night - our links with blues and roots music goes back to the early anarchic days of the American Folk and Blues reviews of the early sixties held at the Fairfield Hall. These landmark shows featured THE greats of the time, Muddy Waters, Sonny Boy Williamson, Louis Jordan et al – in fact, for a while Croydon was THE ONLY place in this country to catch some of these artists. Around the same time, Giorgio Gomelsky, manager of the British R&B band the Yardbirds, chose the Star Hotel, West Croydon as the venue for one of his music clubs. Variously known as the Star Club and Crawdaddy, this really was a “happening”. Gomelsky promoted a vibrant r&b scene that had a profound effect on the emerging local 22
British talent and youth – with the Star Hotel not only staging gigs by the old school blues greats, but also bringing the likes of Hendrix and The Who to Croydon. In 2010 convincing Daltry and Townsend to head back to Croydon might prove difficult, but Crawdaddy Croydon promises to deliver a powerful mix of great music in the finest traditions of the original Crawdaddy, and we reckon it’s going to be a monthly club night to relish. Graeme Miall, Crawdaddy Croydon promoter, said “We are excited to be launching Crawdaddy at the Scream Lounge. The bar is friendly and bohemian as you walk in and the gig space is fantastic. With a capacity of 120, this is a great size to attract some top quality musicians and at the same time deliver an intimate gig. I really do anticipate some great parties as we move forward.” Furthermore, he adds “What makes this even more exciting is that working in partnership with the venue, we are able to deliver great value in ticket pricings, with an intended maximum price of only £10 per person you can expect to see many nights running for around half of this. A fraction of the cost of seeing bands of this standard elsewhere.” When asked why he chose Scream Lounge in particular Graeme continues “Most importantly the atmosphere is relaxing and welcoming as you enter. The gig space is fantastically well equipped, through the associated Scream Studios, ensuring a great sound both on stage for the musicians and for the crowd. Finally, it’s great to be working with a venue that really wants to stretch itself, delivering more variety and truly building a reputation.” Crawdady next dates: 23rd December 2010 Sam Kelly’s Station House 15th January 2011 James Hunter 19th February 2011 Big Boy Bloater and the Limits plus Toby Barelli AKA King Size Slim Got news? e-mail hello@deep-london.co.uk
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Septuagenarian agony aunt cum rock mutton Auntie May goes all voodoo. . .
H
ello again my lovelies. Edith and I have had another busy month getting up to mischief and keeping the neighbours entertained. We’ve been on a bit of a keep fit (or rather get fit) campaign in readiness for the turkey and mince pie season. I’ve rediscovered the exciting business of hula-hooping (I used to be rather good at it at school) and Edith dug out her chalks and has been indulging in half an hour of energetic hopscotch before breakfast. The main problem we’ve discovered is that all this exercise makes you very hungry indeed necessitating the consumption of a large fried breakfast instead of our usual toast and Irish coffee. Not the best way to get fit but tremendous fun nevertheless. After a fairly quiet summer musicwise we’ve made up for it this month. Sabaton were on at the Electric Ballroom and we dropped in to see whether the Swedish war-metallers were as happy as the last time we saw them. There were certainly twice as many people there, and it was my bad luck to be squeezed up behind a feckless youth with a massive rucksack strapped to his back. We were backed up to the barriers so whenever he moved I was in grave danger of propelling the sound desk backwards towards the bar. Eventually we moved back only to have a sudden altercation with a running man and a pint of beer resulting in me getting an impromptu beer shower.
For a change on a Saturday we took a trip up to the Hobgoblin in Camden where the Iron Maiden fanclub were celebrating the birthday of one of its Scottish members. Yes, that’s what I thought. However, there were at least 30 of us commandeering the far end of the pub which was a result because sometimes you can’t get 30 people out for a birthday drink in Croydon. I was slightly worried as the last time I went there they weren’t selling Hobgoblin beer and I had to drink disgusting lagerboy stuff but I needn’t have worried this time. I’d recovered from my considerable hangover by Tuesday and we decided to sharpen up our brains with a bit of a pub quiz. The Sun in North Street, Carshalton is a lovely welcoming pub with good food and great beer (always a bonus in my book) and they run a fantastic free quiz night on Tuesdays. We went in with a “nothing to lose” attitude which, along with a large slice of luck (and despite us confusing Barbara Windsor with Boris Johnson), paid off and we won with a satisfying score of 69. We were awarded a case of beer which we were able to gamble on the turn of a few fortuitous cards and convert into a case of wine. Another exciting event last month was local boys Mordecai’s video launch. We’d been involved in the filming and had been instrumental in the “pressgang” operation to collect a realistic
crowd for the live scenes. The video launch took place at Scream Lounge – the food was delicious, the winewaitresses beautiful and the video is fantastic. I finished the month back at Camden where Voodoo Six were on at the Underworld. I was delighted to discover on arrival that the support act was the superbly-bearded Godsized who thundered through their set and added considerably to their growing fanbase. Voodoo Six, whose debut album was only released a couple of weeks earlier, were on fire and played with confidence and power. I was having too much fun to remember to put my earplugs in and my ears were ringing for hours afterwards which is always a sign that I’ve had a good night. Up and coming soon, I’m planning to check out the Oval to see how the new owners are shaping up. I’m also going to continue my quest to hula-hoop my way to fitness and possibly challenge Edith to a sponsored leap-frog race. Other than that, I’ll be loitering with intent round some local drinking establishments, I’ll no doubt see you there so to all a Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and I’ll see you at the bar... Auntie May returns in February.
the sun
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Stockists: CENTRAL CROYDON: • All Bar One • Bar Red Square • Bar Se7en • Black Sheep Bar • Brief • Bull’s Head • Clocktower (Tourist Info) • Dog & Bull • Fairfield Halls • George • Goose on the Market • Gun Tavern • Green Dragon • Half and Half Lounge Bar • Loop Lounge • Milan Bar • Mojama • Royal Standard • Ship • Spreadeagle • Steelpoint Tattoo • Surrey Cricketers • Tiger Tiger • Timebomb Clothing • Yates’s Wine Lodge EAST CROY: • Builders Arms • Glamorgan • Orchard • Oval • Porter & Sorter • Tramlink Info Centre • Warehouse Theatre WEST CROY: • Bird in Hand • Sims Tattoos • Davys Wine Bar • Forbidden Planet • Fox and Hounds • Windmill SOUTH END & SOUTH CROY: • Croham Arms • Crown & Pepper • Crown & Sceptre • Earl of Eldon • Edge • Folly
Pick up your copy of Deep from any of these lovely places:
• Jalalis • Kays Off Licence • LA Fitness (Royal Oak) • La Spezia Deli (Old Pharmacy - Swan & Sugarloaf) • Laithwaite’s Wines (opp. Windsor Castle) • Peking Tasty • Purley Arms • Rail View • Red Deer • Rupali • Ruskin House • Sackville Gallery • Scream Studios • Stag & Hounds • Sth Croydon BR • Swan & Sugarloaf • Txt Bar • Treehouse • Wheelwrights Arms • Windsor Castle • Woodman • Zizzi
• The Fox • Tudor Rose
ADDISCOMBE: • Alma Tavern • Claret Free Hs • Cricketers
WOODSIDE GREEN: • Beehive
PURLEY: • Baan Thai • Brass Monkey • Coffee Bay (by Purley BR) • Elliott’s • Jolly Farmers • Las Fuentes • Rectory • Purley BR • Purley Pool • Purley Oaks BR • Station Cars PURLEY WAY: • Gipsy Moth • Premier Travel Inn Hotel • Green’s Gym COULSDON: • The Pembroke OLD COULSDON: 26
SANDERST’D: • Sanderstead BR • Stones Hair Salon • Wine Cellar SHIRLEY: • Cricketers • Crown • Sandrock • Shirley Inn • Surprise Inn FORESTDALE: • Forestdale Arms • McDermott’s Fish Restaurant SELHURST: • Selhurst Arms • White Horse • Two Brewers • Lion Inn THORNTON HEATH: • The Lord Napier
SOUTH NORWOOD: • Portmanor KENLEY: • Kenley Arms WHYTELEAFE: • Whyteleafe Tavern
Listings Index: What’s on? 27 full weekly and daily guide All our information was correct at the time of going to press, but as the only certainty in life is change, we suggest you check before heading out. The opinions and reviews which follow are those of the Editor and staff - if you have an issue to raise about them, please ring us, rather than the venue.
Got something going on? We’re not psychic, people - let us know! What’s on listings are FREE! Call Angela on 07910 506197 or e-mail: angela@deep-london.co.uk
Deep-London Readership: 25,046 monthly plus online at www.deep-london.co.uk on facebook (deep-london). Follow us on Twitter: @deep_london
GET YOUR EVENT LISTED: e-mail: ANGELA@ DEEP-LONDON.CO.UK
Last date for inclusion in February issue -
25 JAN 2011
Advertising in Deep-London: Prices from just £10 upwards depending on type, size and placement all prices are per month and VAT exempt
discounts available for block booking etc
Advert design service available To advertise please call Angela the Editor on: 07910 506197 / 020 8680 3558 e-mail: angela@deep-london.co.uk
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What’s On - Regular Every Day / Monthly Events: Every Day: • Market: Surrey Street (Not Sunday) London’s oldest continuously running market since 1276, with fruit and veg, bits and pieces, meat and fish, hot food, all sorts. Use it or lose it, people. Open Mon-Sat from ridiculously early... Surrey Street, Croydon www.surreystreetmarket.com • Museum: Museum Of Croydon (Not Sunday / Bank Hols) Permanent Galleries: Croydon History - Follow the story of Croydon from 1800 to now. The Riesco Collection of Chinese Ceramics is on permanent display in the Riesco Gallery at Croydon Clocktower. The Croydon Art Collection contains over 2000 paintings, prints and drawings. Depictions of local scenes and landmarks are stored alongside works by Henry Moore, Bridget Riley and Bengali poet Rabindranath Tagore. Museum Of Croydon, Clocktower, Katharine Street • Wildlife: Beaver Waterworld NEW! We at deep are HUGE fans of Beaver Waterworld, and not just because of the amusing name. They’ve got birds, beavers, lizards, snakes, crocodiles, tons of other animals. A registered charity, BWW is also a rehoming centre. “Our aim at Beaver Water World Reptile Zoo is to be a refuge - a Noah's Ark for rare and rescued reptiles”. Open EVERY Day except Xmas Day - 10am to 5pm. Adults - £4.00, Children - £3.00 Beaver Water World, Waylands Farm, Approach Road, Tatsfield, Nr. Westerham Kent. TN16 2JT, Tel: 01959 577747 www.beaverwaterworld.com • Farm: Fanny’s Farm - NEW! To complement Beaver Waterworld... Farmshop, Tearooms and tea gardens, Childrens play area, Florists, Chickens, pigs and sheep, The famous treehouse, Landscape garden/garden centre, chickens, 2 new vietnamese pot bellied pigs - Burt and Ernie - and sheep. Fanny's Farm Shop, is the perfect place to enjoy a cream tea, fresh coffee or a ploughman's lunch featuring local cheeses. Fanny's features a wide range of local produce to buy, including jam and marmalade, honey, floral arrangements, pickle, mustards, fresh vegetables, bacon and eggs, cakes and handmade gifts. Opening Hours - 9.00am to 6.00pm every day including bank holidays, although we do stop serving teas at 5.00pm Fannys Farm Shop, MarkEdge Lane, Merstham, Surrey RH1 3AW
email: fanny@fannysfarmshop.co.uk Tel: 01737 554444 http://fannysfarmshop.co.uk • Theatre: A Fistful of Barton NEW! The Warehouse Theatre’s annual Dick Barton production. Not actually every day, but most of them - check the website for details. www.warehousetheatre.co.uk The Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road, Croydon.
................................. 1st Tuesday of the month: • Live Music: Rob and Friends Jamming. From 8.30pm. The Royal Standard, 1 Sheldon Street, Croydon, CR0 1SS, 020 8688 9749 For more events, find us on facebook!
1st Wednesday: • Kids: Iggy and Loong’s Under 5s Until March 2011 (except January) 10.30am, 11.15am & 12pm (30 mins). Join Iggy the iguana and Loong the Chinese dragon for songs, games and stories in the Riesco Gallery. Aimed at the Under 5s. FREE! Just drop in. Riesco Gallery (ground floor), Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street, Croydon. www.croydonclocktower.org.uk
1st Thursday: • Live Music: The New Delta Big Band From Ellington to Herman, big band jazz at its best! 8.15-11pm. FREE! The Lord Napier, 111 Beaulah Road, Thornton Heath, CR7. 020 8653 2286. • Gay: Quiz Monthly quiz night. The Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road, Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104 www.birdinhand.uk.com • Comedy: Upfront Comedy Club Hosting a different line-up of black comedians every month. See Clocktower website for who’s on. “The most enterprising black comedy promoters in the country" The Guardian. 8pm. £9.50 (£7.50 conc) Croydon Clocktower, Katharine St, Croydon. More info from www.croydonclocktower.org.uk
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1st Friday: • Club: Groove On Funk club. Upstairs at The Treehouse, 78 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1DP, 020 8688 9837 www.treehousepeople.com • Poetry: Poets Anonymous Friday Poetry at the Fairfield Hotel Bar, 1 Lansdowne Road, Croydon, Surrey CR9 2BN. Floor spots. From 8pm. £2 waged, £1 unwaged. Contact Peter for further details; peter@poetsanon.org.uk, 020 8645 9956.
1st Saturday: • Music: DJ Rob Delta Playing Funk, blues, soul and psychedelia. The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon, CR0 6BR www.ovaltavern.co.uk
1st Sunday: • Green: Heathfield Ecology Centre - NEW! Normally open from around 10 o'clock until about 5 o'clock (or dusk, whichever is sooner) on the 1st and 3rd Sunday of each month except for 1st January or when there is another event. Established in 1997 and operates out of the Old Orchard in the grounds of Heathfield House. The centre raises awareness of Croydon's green heritage and helps to preseve the borough's biodiversity. For full details of activities and membership visit www.heathfield-ecology.org.uk The Old Orchard, Heathfield, Coombe Lane, Croydon CR0 5RH
2nd Monday: • Group: Croydon Writers Writing group. 7.45pm. New Members welcome. Annual membership - £16.00 Meetings - £2 per meeting for members, £4 per meeting for non members. More info from www.croydonwriters.org.uk The Library, Croydon Cloctower, Katharine Street, Croydon
2nd Tuesday: • Comedy: Comedy Night with host Gareth and guest comedians. From 8.30pm. The Royal Standard, 1 Sheldon Street, Croydon, CR0 1SS, 020 8688 9749 For more events, find us on facebook!
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What’s On - Regular Monthly Events: • Group: Croydon Round Table of Inventors was established to provide a network and forum for local Croydon inventors to share ideas and experiences. It is a non-profit club, run by inventors and for inventors. Meetings take place on the second Tuesday of every month in the Town Hall, Katharine Street, Croydon from 6:30pm to 9:30pm. Please check this event is on before heading out.
2nd Thursday: • Live Music: The Brian Hetherington Jazz Band Listen or jive to the authentic rythyms of New Orleans! 8.15-11pm. FREE! The Lord Napier, 111 Beaulah Road, Thornton Heath, CR7. 020 8653 2286.
2nd Saturday: • Poetry: Poets Anonymous Saturday Poetry in the Primary Room, United Reformed Church, Addiscombe Grove, Croydon, Surrey, CR0 5LP. 2.304.00pm. £2.00. Bring your poetry to read and share. Contact Peter for further details; peter@poetsanon.org.uk, 020 8645 9956
3rd Thursday: • Live Music: The New Delta Big Band From Ellington to Herman, big band jazz at its best! 8.15-11pm. FREE! The Lord Napier, 111 Beaulah Road, Thornton Heath, CR7. 020 8653 2286. • Gay: Quiz The Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road, Croydon, CR0 2EL, 020 8683, 3104 www.birdinhand.co.uk.
3rd Sunday: • Group: Heathfield Ecology Centre Normally open from around 10 o'clock until about 5 o'clock (or dusk, whichever is sooner) on the 1st and 3rd Sunday of each month except for 1st January or when there is another event. Established in 1997 and operates out of the Old Orchard in the grounds of Heathfield House. The centre raises awareness of Croydon's green heritage and helps to preseve the borough's biodiversity. For full details of activities and membership visit www.heathfield-ecology.org.uk The Old Orchard, Heathfield, Coombe Lane, Croydon CR0 5RH
4th Tuesday: • Live Music: Open Mic Simon Hughes's blues and acoustic Open Mike nights. We let you entertain us! From 8.30pm. FREE! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon, CR0 6BR www.ovaltavern.co.uk
4th Thursday: • Live Music: The Brian Hetherington Jazz Band Listen or jive to the authentic rythyms of New Orleans! 8.15-11pm. FREE! The Lord Napier, 111 Beaulah Road, Thornton Heath, CR7. 020 8653 2286.
4th Saturday: • Music: DJ BennyManyHats Playing the way only Benny can. The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon, CR0 6BR www.ovaltavern.co.uk
Last Monday: • Science: Cafe Scientifique Free talks and discussions with a scientist on a subject of topical interest on the last Monday of each month from 18:30 to 20:00 in the Braithwaite Hall (Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street, Croydon) no ticket necessary.
Last Friday: • Club: Histree House Last Friday of the month. Old-skool house. Open til 3am. Free entry for Treehouse diners, otherwise £5. Upstairs at The Treehouse, 78 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1DP, 020 8688 9837 www.treehousepeople.com
................................. Every Monday: • Quiz: Green Dragon Wendy’s marvellous pub quiz. 8pm every Monday. Jackpot round! Green Dragon, High Street, Croydon • Club: Blue Monday Buy one hour of Pool and receive one hour free of charge. Don’t worry if you are on a one-hour lunch break - we will give you a voucher to use another day. If you are not a member you can join at reception free of charge if you bring some ID along. More about free membership. Half price on all 28
drinks Monday to Thursday 5pm to 7pm Fridays 5pm to 9pm. Open Midday until 11pm. Admission is free of charge Dress Code: No caps, sportswear, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers are permitted. Over 18s only - ID required. Loop Lounge, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ. 020 8760 7000 www.looplounge.co.uk • Games: Poker Night Poker at the Jolly Farmers. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Club: Half Price Mondays 50% off all drinks (excluding champagne) from 7pm til midnight. Free entry before 10pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Group: Croydon Natural History and Scientific Society meets on most Monday evenings from 19:45 at the Small Hall of the United Reform Church in Addiscombe Grove, East Croydon. For more information about the society go to www.greig51.freeserve.co.uk/cnhss/index. htm#about
Every Tuesday: • Music: Jazz Jam Session Every Tuesday Night at The Lord Napier Jazz Pub. All welcome. The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath. 020 8653 2286 • Sport: Roller Derby Monks Hill Sports Centre 9-10pm Also croydon roller derby are taking on new skaters so anyone who's Interested please contact us at fenrisflyers@gmail.com or deathpixie666@hotmail.com • Quiz: The Good Companions Wendy’s marvellous pub quiz travels to Hamsey Green every Tuesday from 8pm. The Good Companions, Hamsey Green, Croydon. • Quiz: The Pembroke 8pm. 50p per person per round. Plus 2 for 1 on pizzas. The Pembroke, 12-16 Chipstead Valley Road, Coulsdon, CR5 2RA 020 8763 0800 • Quiz: The Builders Arms Fun general knowledge quiz. The Builders Arms, 65 Leslie Park Road, Croydon, CR0 6TP, 020 8654 1803 • Club: Cheap Sheep Tuesdays DJ Magoo plays the most ripe Electro, DnB, Dubstep, Indie and Ska while you enjoy £1.50 PINTS, £1.25 SPIRIT MIXERS,
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What’s On - Regular Weekly Events: £1 SHOTS + £2.50 VODKA RED BULL ALL NIGHT. Doors 7pm til late, FREE ENTRY before 9pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com • Music: Freedom of Expression presents the best in acoustic music, comedy, poetry and magic - see daily what’s on for who’s playing when. From 8pm. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Fitness: Yoga Classes Every Tuesday from 7.30pm-9pm. £5 a class for 6 sessions. Beginners welcome. 140 Brighton Road, Purley. 0208 763 2629 • Dance: Strictly Fun Dancing Ballroom Dancing every Tuesday. Beginners - 7pm. £6 Improvers - 7.45pm. £6 Social Dance - 8.30pm. £7 Buy two sessions for £11, 3 for £16. Arnham Gallery, Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG. Box Office: 020 8688 9291 www.fairfield.co.uk • Community: Women-Only Swimming Sessions South Norwood pool: Tuesdays 8-10pm. The cost for a non-member adult swim is £3.30 per hour. For further information on membership, activities, prices and timetables go to www.fusionlifestyle.com/contracts/Croydon_Council
Every Wednesday: • Museum: East Surrey Museum Open 10am-5pm Wednesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays Permanent Galleries: Local History The development of our area from earliest times. It contains sections on Geology and fossils, Stone Ages, Bronze and Iron Ages, the Romans in East Surrey, an Anglo-Saxon corner, medieval times and modern history. Also stages various transient exhibitions. Admission is free but donations are welcomed. East Surrey Museum, 1 Stafford Road Caterham, CR3 6JG. 01883 340 275 www.eastsurreymuseum.org • Pool: The Oval Pool Competition Every Wednesday from 19.30 hrs. Balls and banter - a textbook night in the pub. £2 to enter, with cash prizes. The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR 020 8686 6023 www.ovaltavern.co.uk
• Quiz: Mike K’s General Knowledge Quiz From 9.00pm Mike K’s general knowledge quiz, non-members welcome! Caterham Club, 10A, Croydon Road, Caterham CR36QB • Quiz: Foxley Hatch Every Wednesday from 8pm. £1 entry per person - winner takes all. Maximum 4 on a team. The Foxley Hatch, Purley • Event: Talent Night Talent Night Open Mic. Every Wednesday. £200 prize! The Whyteleafe Tavern, 208 Godstone Road, Whyteleafe, CR3 0EE www.whyteleafetavern.com • Pool: American 8-Ball Pool Competition Test your pool skills against Croydon’s finest pool players as we launch a new weekly cash prize competition that will also see players gaining ranking points to become Croydon’s number 1 pool player. 10 Week Ranking League Cash Prizes - £10 Entry Fee Weekly knock out competition • Winner receives 75% of entry pot (remaining 25% to go towards ranking league) • Best of 3 frames • Semi final and final best of 5 frames 10 Week Ranking League • Points given for progress in weekly knock out competition. • Winner receives 75% of total pot • Runner up receives 25% of total pot Half price drinks 5-7pm Midday until midnight. Dress: No caps, sportswear, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers are permitted. Over 18s only - ID required. Loop Lounge, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ. 020 8760 7000 www.looplounge.co.uk • Poker: King Of Clubs Loop Lounge Poker Night: It's the standard Texas Hold’em format that we all know and love. This night is open to all Loop Lounge members. To register an interest and book a place at our tables please visit our website. Open Midday until midnight Half price on all drinks: Monday to Thursday 5pm to 7pm, Fridays 5pm to 9pm Open Midday until 11pm. FREE entry. Dress: No caps, sportswear, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers are permitted. Over 18s only - ID required. Loop Lounge, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ. 020 8760 7000 www.looplounge.co.uk • Dance: Dancercise Keep fit and meet new people at this fun 29
and friendly beginners dance class. Come and join the fun every Wednesday. 7.30pm. £3.50. Central Court, Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street, Croydon www.croydonclocktower.org.uk • Dance: Swing Patrol swing dance classes, 7pm, £5. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Club: Dub Kulture heavy vinyl dubstep collective, featuring controller PISTONSBENEATH and guest DJS. Doors 8pm til late, FREE ENTRY before 10pm, £2 after. CHEAP SHEEP drinks deals 8-11pm. £1.50 pints, £1.25 spirit mixers, £1 shots, £2.50 vodka Red Bull. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Event: Film & Food plus... Films & Food every week, Poker, Rock Quiz night and Live comedy on monthly rotation See www.myspace.com/screamstudios or daily listings for what's on and when 8pm, Free Entry Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN • Music: FREE Classical Concerts Free lunchtime classical music performances at the Clocktower Croydon. All performances start at 1.30pm. Bring your own picnic, wear a tux if you like, or just come as you are and enjoy your lunch in the incredible unique setting of the Braithwaite Hall at The Clocktower, a grade 2 listed building, island of heritage in Croydon’s town centre. George Mayne will present a specially curated free programme of some his favourite classical pieces every Wednesday lunchtime throughout August. The Clocktower Cafe is launching a special offer to celebrate these lunchtime recitals with 20% off all hot meals and a special High Tea consisting of mini sandwiches, tea, scome and clotted cream for £3.95 after the concert. Braithwaite Hall, Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street, Croydon. www.croydonclocktower.org.uk • Sport: Brighton Dogs Every Wednesday afternoon - Greyhound Racing. Doors 1pm. More info from www. brightonandhovegreyhoundstadium.co.uk • Music: Liquid Drum ‘n’ Bass Every Wednesday evening. Taberners Lounge Bar, St George’s Walk, Croydon. www.tabernersloungebar.com
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What’s On - Regular Weekly Events: Every Thursday: • Museum: East Surrey Museum Open 10am-5pm Wednesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays See every Wednesday. East Surrey Museum, 1 Stafford Road Caterham, CR3 6JG. 01883 340 275 www.eastsurreymuseum.org • Tattoos: Walk-In Day No need to book in advance on a Thursday only at Sims, get there early! 11am-6pm. Sims Tattoos, 69 Windmill Road, Croydon, CR0 2XR, 020 8684 6967 • Quiz: Two Brewers From 9pm. Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road, Croydon, 020 8684 3544 • Quiz: Purley Arms Every Thursday. Purley Arms, 345 Brighton Road, South Croydon, 020 8686 3792 • Quiz: JF Big Quiz £1 per player, win prizes, league points, and maybe cash in our Open The Box game! New teams always welcome. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Music: Metal Thursday Metal Night at Scream Lounge At least 3 top notch local and touring metal acts every week at Scream, including regular Grindhouse nights sponsored by Terrorizer metal magazine. Door price includes free entry to Black Sheep Bar rock night before 11pm See www.myspace.com/screamstudios or daily listings for what's on and when. Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN • Quiz: Crown and Sceptre From 9pm. Crown and Sceptre, 32 Junction Road, South Croydon, 020 8688 8037 • Club: ALT.X Rock / Metal / Alternative with DJ Tony X plus guests. CHEAP SHEEP drinks deals till 10pm, plus £1 shots of Jager all night! FREE ENTRY before 10pm, doors 7pm.. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: Live Blues Live blues at The Oval - see daily what’s on for who’s playing when. Every Thursday and Sunday. Bands start 8pm Thursdays, 5.30pm Sundays. FREE entry! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR. 020 8686 6023 www.ovaltavern.co.uk
• Music: Live Jazz Check monthly regular events for who’s playing when. 8.15pm to 11pm. FREE! The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286 • Dance: Clog Dancing Free taster sessions for newcomers to try out some lively N.W. English clog team dances - wear trainers or similar footwear. Musicians with portable acoustic instruments always welcome too. PLEASE CALL BEFORE HEADING OUT, as some Thursdays this night is not on. 8.30 pm. FREE! Call 020 8654 5211/020 8657 4056 (eves.) for details United Reformed Church Hall, corner Enmore/Cobden Road, S. Norwood • Dance: Morris Dancing North Wood Morris Men are teaching Men's Morris to complete beginners on Thursday evenings at the Scout Hut in Purley Park Road at 8.15 pm and newcomers are welcome (first call 020 8668 1830) see www.northwoodmorris.org.uk • Dance: The South East London Lindy Hop Club Come and learn to dance Lindy Hop (Jitterbug) like they did in the 1940's. No partner required and Caron and Steve specialise in helping those with two left feet get together with those with two right. Doors open 7.30pm Beginners Class 7.45pm Intermediate Class 8.30pm Freestyle (practice) 9.15pm The Royston Club, 85 Royston Road Penge, London, SE20 7QW www.52ndstreetjump.co.uk • Club: HUSH HUSH Each week Hush Hush plan to bring a strong line up of residents and special guests. We already have support from Jonathan Ulysses (Ulybug /Space Ibiza) www.jonathanulysses.co.uk, Kids Of Funk (Perverted Audio) and more. There won’t be any cheese, just the finest in house music! It's just time to start the weekend and keep it hush hush! Special guest DJs plus residents DJ Lewi, DJ Billnick, Ollie Killick Admission: 9pm until 3am £6 / £3 NUS and guest list R.O.A.R. Smart/Casual Dress. Strictly Over 18 years of age only; photo ID is required. “Keep Thursdays Hush Hush” Loop Lounge, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ. 020 8760 7000 www.looplounge.co.uk • Gay: Quiz New every Thursday, quiz night at The Bird. The Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road, Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104 www.birdinhand.uk.com 30
• Sport: Brighton Dogs Every Thursday night - Greyhound Racing. Doors 6.30pm. More info from www. brightonandhovegreyhoundstadium.co.uk • Music: Uplifting House DJs Every Thursday evening. Taberners Lounge Bar, St George’s Walk, Croydon. www.tabernersloungebar.com
Every Friday: • Music: DJs Every Friday Night The Folly, 13-15 Selsdon Road, Croydon, 020 8688 3920 • Music: Live Music Alternating live bands and karaoke every Friday Night The Bedford Tavern, 16 Sydenham Road, Croydon, CR0 2EF, 020 8688 2584 • Karaoke: Wheelwright’s Arms From 8.30pm every Friday night. Wheelwright’s Arms, 126 Southbridge Road, Croydon, CR0 1AF • Music: Oval DJs The regular Oval faves, plus guests, keeping Fridays funky. The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR 020 8686 6023, www.ovaltavern.co.uk • Music: Live Music Every Friday night from 8pm. Plus 2 for 1 on Corona and Jacques. The Pembroke, 12-16 Chipstead Valley Road, Coulsdon, CR5 2RA 020 8763 0800 • Event: Wii Night Every Friday evening. The View, 188 selsdon Road, South Croydon, CR2 6PL, 020 8688 2315. • Club: WTF? our decades of Indie, Alternative, Electro and Punk hits from DJ Zoe Urchin. CHEAP SHEEP drinks deals till 9pm. Doors 7pm, FREE ENTRY before 10pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Photography: Camera Club Camera Club meeting in West Croydon every Friday night welcomes visitors and new members. Full programme of events including print/slide talks, portrait evenings, competitions, etc. Ample parking. Contact Colin on 020 8665 1678. Visit www.thorntonheathcameraclub.co.uk • Sport: Wimbledon Dogs Every Friday night - Greyhound Racing. First race 7.30pm The turnstiles open at 6:30pm and the
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What’s On - Regular Weekly Events: restaurant doors open at 6:30pm. General Admission Prices If you just want to turn up on the night the prices are: * Adults: £5.00 (including racecard) * Children 12 - 17: £3.00 (no race card) * Children under 11: Free (no race card) Please note, pushchairs and buggies are not permitted in the Stadium. Loads of admission offers and more info at www.lovethedogs.co.uk GRA Wimbledon Stadium, Plough Lane, London, SW17 0BL Stadium Telephone: 0870 880 1000 • Club: Slut Party Ibiza’s favourite party comes to south London! Bubbly for VIPs - Book your V.I.P. table for 6 people or more, and we'll give you reduced entry and a bottle of bubbly on the house (with your first round) Just for you girls - We have some of London’s sluttiest male dancers available for your personal entertainment. From 10pm and midnight we play the best in Club Classics and House Anthems. Dress slutty for free entry before 1am - Of course Slutty clothing is optional but it is free entry to saucy outfits (male and female) before 1am For the guys - The best in Jacking, tech and tribal house from midnight till 2am. And of course we have booked some of the best Dubstep DJs to close the night from 2am till close. For more info call 07956372327 or 020 8760 7000 9pm until 3am £5.00 before midnight, £7.00 after midnight £3.00 per person for V.I.P. bookings. Call 07956372327 or 020 8760 7000 Loop Lounge, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ. 020 8760 7000 www.looplounge.co.uk • Sport: Brighton Dogs Every Friday lunchtime - Greyhound Racing. Doors 10.30am. More info from www. brightonandhovegreyhoundstadium.co.uk
Every Saturday: • Museum: East Surrey Museum Open 10am-5pm Wednesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays See every Wednesday. East Surrey Museum, 1 Stafford Road Caterham, CR3 6JG. 01883 340 275 www.eastsurreymuseum.org • Music: Various Live music every Saturday Night. The Surrey Cricketers, corner of Lower Coombe Street and West Street, Croydon.
• Market: Garden Market The Alma Garden Market hopes to create a vibrant bustling market place in the large private courtyard of The Alma pub in Crystal Palace. It runs every Saturday with over 20 stalls selling plants & flowers, beauty products & treatments, exotic oils, olive oils, capers, strawberries, chocolates, jewellery, hand made cards, rugs, leatherwear, knitwear, deli produce & a wide range of arts & crafts from local artists, plus hot food and collectables - and the Jerk Chicken man will be there! 10am - 4pm The Alma, 95 Church Road, Crystal Palace, London SE19 www.thealmapub.com • Music: Live Rock Bands Every Saturday Night Portmanor, Portland Road, South Norwood, SE25 4UF, 020 8655 1308 • Club: Linton Dance bombs. Funk Rockets. Beat-seeking missiles. Never outgunned. The biggest dancefloor monsters from DJ LINTON. Because it's war on the dancefloor. CHEAP SHEEP drinks deals till 9pm. Doors 7pm, FREE ENTRY before 10pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Club: Tiger Tiger Tiger and Raffles Bar: with Capital FM Des Paul and Chris Brooks playing out the best in commercial party and dance anthems.Groovy Wonderland: 70’s and 80’s floor fillers. Club: Commercial House. Admission free before 10pm, £7 after. Guestlist free before 11pm, £5 after. Dress code: Dress to Impress - No Sportswear. Tiger Tiger, 14-16 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1GT. 020 8662 4949. www.tigertigercroydon.co.uk • Music: New Orleans Jazz Quality live jazz every Saturday Night. From 8.30pm. £6 entry includes free raffle. Blackheath Hockey Club, Rubens Street, Sydenham, SE6 4DH (behind Old Rutland Pub) • Music: Various Live music most Saturday nights. The Good Companions, Hamsey Green, South Croydon. 020 8657 6655 • Gay: Party Night Every Saturday nigt is party night at The Bird. The Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road, Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104 www.birdinhand.uk.com • Burlesque: Tassel Club Tassel Club Supper Club. Contact reservations@proud.co.uk for direct bookings Proud Cabaret, London. www.proud.co.uk 31
• Sport: Wimbledon Dogs Every Friday night - Greyhound Racing. First race 7.30pm The turnstiles open at 6:30pm and the restaurant doors open at 6:30pm. General Admission Prices If you just want to turn up on the night the prices are: * Adults: £5.00 (including racecard) * Children 12 - 17: £3.00 (no race card) * Children under 11: Free (no race card) Please note, pushchairs and buggies are not permitted in the Stadium. Loads of admission offers and more info at www.lovethedogs.co.uk GRA Wimbledon Stadium, Plough Lane, London, SW17 0BL Stadium Telephone: 0870 880 1000 • Sport: Brighton Dogs Every Saturday night - Greyhound Racing. Doors 6.30pm. More info from www. brightonandhovegreyhoundstadium.co.uk • Kids: Storytime with Jenny Lockyer Stories, songs, puppetry, activities and lots of fun! It's aimed at 3-7 year olds, but all are welcome! It's every Saturday and it's FREE! 1pm-3pm. Upstairs at the Green Dragon 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1NA • Community: Women-Only Swimming Sessions Thornton Heath pool: Saturday 4.45 6.45pm. New Addington pool: Saturdays 2.303.30pm. The cost for a non-member adult swim is £3.30 per hour. For further information on membership, activities, prices and timetables go to www.fusionlifestyle.com/contracts/Croydon_Council • Teens: Express Yourself Aged 13-16 and got something to say? Express Yourself in lyrics, rap and spoken word with Arji, aka performance poet, rapper and writer The Leano, and turn your thoughts into lyrical poems. Whether your melodies are inspired by hip hop, pop or folk, these free sessions will help you rap in flowing rhythm. Complete beginners and experienced musicians welcome. Every Saturday from 6th Nov - 11 Dec. 2-4pm. FREE! Youth Room, Thornton Heath Library, 190 Brigstock Road CR7 7JB www.leanoland.com See ‘Express Yourself’ page on facebook.
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What’s On - Weekly Events / Daily Guide: Every Sunday: • Music: New Orleans Jazz Every Sunday 12.30 - 2.30pm at The Lord Napier Jazz Pub. Entry £2, dance floor, raffle, great atmosphere at one of the longest running Jazz Pubs in Great Britain The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath. 020 8653 2286 • Music: Live Jazz Lunchtime Jazz every Sunday from 1pm. See daily what’s on for who’s playing this month. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Live Blues Live blues at The Oval - see daily what’s on for who’s playing when. Every Thursday and Sunday. Bands start 8pm Thursdays, 5.30pm Sundays. FREE entry! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR 020 8686 6023 www.ovaltavern.co.uk • Quiz: The View Every Sunday evening. The View, 188 selsdon Road, South Croydon, CR2 6PL, 020 8688 2315. • Quiz: Wheelwright’s Arms From 8pm. Wheelwright’s Arms, 126 Southbridge Road, Croydon, CR0 1AF • Quiz: Two Brewers Fun general knowledge quiz. From 9pm. Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road, Croydon, 020 8684 3544 • Quiz: The Spread Eagle Fun quiz with round prizes as well as main prize. £1 per person. From 7pm. The Spread Eagle, 39-41 Katharine St, Croydon, CR0 1NX, 020 8781 1134 • Karaoke: The White Horse Every Sunday Night from 7pm. The White Horse, 1 Selhurst Road, Selhurst, South Norwood, 020 8240 0948 • Music: Open Mic Musicians (all instruments) welcome. With one of our 4 fantastic hosts: Dave Mac, Rob Cushman, Neil Mac and Steve Bright The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Road, Purley, CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Poker: The Alma Tavern From 6pm. The Alma Tavern, Lower Addiscombe Road, Addiscombe, East Croydon • Club: Precious Sundays Bar se7en presents PRECIOUS SUNDAYS each and every Sunday night... Dj's on the night playing the best in UK GARAGE, FUNKY HOUSE, R&B, HIP HOP,
BASHMENT and CLUB CLASSICS: CLK (MTV BASELOUNGE), DEEZEL DEEJAY, KIPPA D PLUS SPECIAL GUEST HOSTS... 2-4-£5 DRINKS ALL NITE FREE ENTRY ALL NIGHT Please note smart trainers are welcome (no air bubbles) - No I.D No ENTRY Bar Se7en, The Arcade, High Street, Croydon • Music: Acoustic Sundays From classical to folk, poetry to unplugged punk rock, Scream Lounge's acoustic nights guarantee you a night to remember. Most evenings are free entry, don't run late, so you won't ruin your week with a Monday hangover! 7pm start. See www.myspace.com/screamstudios or daily listings for what's on and when. Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN • Music: Sunday Jazz Lunch From midday until 4pm every Sunday, why not come down for a delicious roast dinner straight from the club’s acclaimed kitchens (not compulsory for entry but highly recommended!) and enjoy a couple of sets of laid back music from some of London’s best musicians and singers. Ronnie Scott's Jazz Club, 47 Frith Street, London W1D 4HT Box Office: 020 7439 0747 www.ronniescotts.co.uk • Sport: Roller Derby Monks Hill Sports Centre 2pm till 4pm Also croydon roller derby are taking on new skaters so anyone who's Interested please contact us at fenrisflyers@gmail.com or deathpixie666@hotmail.com • Gay: Open The Box Every Sunday at 7pm. The Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road, Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104 www.birdinhand.uk.com • Sport: Brighton Dogs Every Friday lunchtime - Greyhound Racing. Doors 11am. More info from brightonandhovegreyhoundstadium. co.uk • Community: Women-Only Swimming Sessions Purley pool: Sundays 2.30-3.30pm. The cost for a non-member adult swim is £3.30 per hour. For further information on membership, activities, prices and timetables go to www.fusionlifestyle.com/contracts/Croydon_Council
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Thu 16 December • Sport: The Ashes Australia v England in the 3rd Test, from Perth. See article, this issue. Play starts 2am. • Music: Brutai, Bleed To This & Thunderwolf Three top notch Classic/Thrash/NWOBHM metal bands. Doors 8pm. Entry £3 Scream Lounge, 20 Southend, Croydon CR0 1DN, lounge@screamstudios.co.uk www.myspace.com/screamstudios
Fri 17 • Sport: The Ashes Australia v England in the 3rd Test, from Perth. See article, this issue. Play starts 2am. • Music: Don't Ask Frantic Promotions Present Don't Ask (Soul/Pop/R&B Covers) Doors 8pm. Entry £6 Scream Lounge, 20 Southend, Croydon CR0 1DN, lounge@screamstudios.co.uk www.myspace.com/screamstudios • Film: The American (15) 2010 USA 105Mins Director: Anton Corbijn Stars: George Clooney, George Clooney, Violante Placido, Irina Bjorklund, Bjorn Granath, Johan Leysen 8.15pm. £7.30 (£4.80 conc) Fri 17 Dec 5.30pm David Lean Cinema, Croydon Clocktower, Katharine St, Croydon. www.croydonclocktower.org.uk • Film: Secretariat (U) Secretariat 2009 UK 123Mins Director: Randall Wallace Stars: Diane Lane, John Malkovich, Scott Glenn 8.15pm. £7.30 (£4.80 conc) 1.30pm David Lean Cinema, Croydon Clocktower, Katharine St, Croydon. www.croydonclocktower.org.uk • Music: STOLEN ID (9.30) Fantastic band return for their regular gig. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Road, Purley, CR8 2HA www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk
Sat 18 • Sport: The Ashes Australia v England in the 3rd Test, from Perth. See article, this issue. Play starts 2am.
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What’s On - Daily Guide: • Music: Croydon Rollergirls Xmas Party! Party (if you dare) with the Fenris Flyers all-girl Roller Derby Team! Featuring live music with Tidor and the Devil Cocks plus fun, games, prizes and more!! Doors 8pm. Entry £3 Scream Lounge, 20 Southend, Croydon CR0 1DN, lounge@screamstudios.co.uk www.myspace.com/screamstudios • Film: The American (8.15pm. £7.30 (£4.80 conc) Sat 18 Dec 6pm David Lean Cinema, Croydon Clocktower, Katharine St, Croydon. www.croydonclocktower.org.uk • Film: Secretariat 8.15pm. £7.30 (£4.80 conc) 1.30pm David Lean Cinema, Croydon Clocktower, Katharine St, Croydon. www.croydonclocktower.org.uk • Music: MOJO HAND 9.30. Great band making a Saturday debut The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Road, Purley, CR8 2HA www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk
Sun 19 • Sport: The Ashes Australia v England in the 3rd Test, from Perth. See article, this issue. Play starts 2am. • Music: Acoustically Speaking Eclectic Arts Network Presents Acoustically Speaking (Open mic/Spoken Word/Music & Poetry Night) Starts 7pm. £5 Entry Scream Lounge, 20 Southend, Croydon CR0 1DN, lounge@screamstudios.co.uk www.myspace.com/screamstudios • Music: Bad Sign, The 23 Enigma Kitty Lipps, Dan Hicks of Mordecai Richard Sumner of Deprevate Acoustic Sunday Presents Xmas acoustic rock special with Bad Sign, The 23 Enigma, Kitty Lipps, Dan Hicks of Mordecai, Richard Sumner of Deprevate Last chance this year to see the local rockers play one-off, chilled out sets of their mellower tunes plus some surprise covers. Starts 7pm. FREE Entry Scream Lounge, 20 Southend, Croydon CR0 1DN, lounge@screamstudios.co.uk www.myspace.com/screamstudios • Club: Tease Rooms Burlesque. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar
Mon 20 • Sport: The Ashes Australia v England in the 3rd Test, from Perth. See article, this issue. Play starts 2am. • Music: Foundations, Through Her Veins & Within The Silence All Ages Metal Night with Foundations, Through Her Veins & Within The Silence Debut show from Foundations featuring members & ex-members of Symphony Cult, Silhouette Of a Ghost and more No Alcohol permitted in the live room Under 14s Must be accompanied by a paying adult Doors 7pm. Entry £4 Scream Lounge, 20 Southend, Croydon CR0 1DN, lounge@screamstudios.co.uk www.myspace.com/screamstudios • Film: The American (8.15pm. £7.30 (£4.80 conc) 8.15pm David Lean Cinema, Croydon Clocktower, Katharine St, Croydon. www.croydonclocktower.org.uk • Film: Secretariat 8.15pm. £7.30 (£4.80 conc) 1.30pm David Lean Cinema, Croydon Clocktower, Katharine St, Croydon. www.croydonclocktower.org.uk • Music: Kunt & The Gang Xmas party. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar
Tue 21 • Music: Metalworks Metal Thursday Christmas Special with Metalworks The legendary Camden covers band, playing classic metal, including songs by Judas Priest, Megadeth, Thin Lizzy, Van Halen, Metallica, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Kiss and a whole lot more!! (Upstairs) Doors 8pm. Entry £5 Scream Lounge, 20 Southend, Croydon CR0 1DN, lounge@screamstudios.co.uk www.myspace.com/screamstudios • Film: The American (8.15pm. £7.30 (£4.80 conc) 3.30pm. David Lean Cinema, Croydon Clocktower, Katharine St, Croydon. www.croydonclocktower.org.uk • Film: Secretariat 8.15pm. £7.30 (£4.80 conc) 1.30pm David Lean Cinema, Croydon Clocktower, Katharine St, Croydon. www.croydonclocktower.org.uk 33
• Music: KARAOKE CHRISTMAS PARTY 8.30. Fancy Dress ( Christmas Theme) suggested. With awesome prizes on offer The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Road, Purley, CR8 2HA www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • CHARITY: Moyz II Hen Xmas Panto Oh come all ye playful; Croydon's most diabolical perverts and allround bad eggs Moyz II Hen demand that you, their humble flock, come and worship them at a very special service in celebration of the impending public holiday 'Christmas'. There'll be hymns, readings, incense, stained glass windows, candles and choirgirls - all kindsa crazy shit! Not to mention, support from prog rockers 'IT' and a jolly-good-cause collection for Cancer Research too. So come down, dress up like a priest or a sweet little cherub choirboy (only don't get too close to filthy paedo Pop Waggi in that get-up) and join our merry congregation. The door to Moyz II Hen’s church is open and entry is free to all comers of any religion, not just Hen-worshippers. Other faiths will also be catered for in a sweeping 'offend all' sermon. Let us play. 20:00 - 23:00 The Green Dragon, High Street, Croydon • Event: Adam Ingham's Christmas Circus With all the thrills and fun of the big top featuring award winning clowns, acrobats, aerial artistes and jugglers, contortionists and illusionists in the warmth of the theatre. Adam Ingham's Christmas Circus promises to be an unmissable exciting family treat! Ringmistress Miss Olympia welcomes you to this unmissable Family treat. Starring Britains funniest clowns - Alex T Clown and co. Miss Lizzy on the aerial rope. The amazing juggling of Jonny Stevens nd the Rainbow Charivari presenting Hula Hoops, Hand Balancing, Illusions plus much much more! 3:00 PM & 7:00 PM Family Ticket (2 adults 2 children) £20 Adults £7 Concession £5 Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street, Croydon
Wed 22 • Sport: Lingfield Races Flat horse racing - all weather. Direct train from East Croydon. More info and tickets from www.lingfield-racecourse.co.uk
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What’s On - Daily Guide: • Film: The American (8.15pm. £7.30 (£4.80 conc) 6pm David Lean Cinema, Croydon Clocktower, Katharine St, Croydon. www.croydonclocktower.org.uk • Film: Secretariat 8.15pm. £7.30 (£4.80 conc) 8.30pm David Lean Cinema, Croydon Clocktower, Katharine St, Croydon. www.croydonclocktower.org.uk • Club: DUBKULTURE The Black Sheep Bar’s DUBKULTURE Presents: Tek one (DJ set), Kavsrave, Pistonsbeneath, Nightmare + Oni, LA Boxers, Pressa, Rapsak £5 in advance (you must be in the bar by 10pm) £6 on the door Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: THE VERSIONS CHRISTMAS PARTY 9.00. For many, the South’s most popular band… The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Road, Purley, CR8 2HA. www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk
Thu 23 • Music: Sam Kelly’s Station House
Crawdaddy Croydon presents: Sam Kelly’s Station House - Founder member of British funk band Cymande and five times British Blues Drummer of the Year, Sam’s band always delivers some great funk vibes and will be a fantastic Crawdaddy Croydon Christmas bash. (Downstairs). Doors 8pm. £5 Scream Lounge, 20 Southend, Croydon CR0 1DN, lounge@screamstudios.co.uk www.myspace.com/screamstudios • Film: The American (8.15pm. £7.30 (£4.80 conc) 6pm David Lean Cinema, Croydon Clocktower, Katharine St, Croydon. www.croydonclocktower.org.uk • Film: Secretariat 8.15pm. £7.30 (£4.80 conc) 1.30pm David Lean Cinema, Croydon Clocktower, Katharine St, Croydon. www.croydonclocktower.org.uk • Club: THE ZOO Dank, Dirty cages, the sound and the stench of a thousand animals will rupture your senses. Let the fur fly amongst the spit, straw and bestial carnage. Paw, play, lick and growl your way
through The Zoo, bear your teeth and release the beast within. fetish / animal-wear only members only: bring ID doors 8pm £4 before 10pm £5 after Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: Dr Smutglove’s Xmas Party Prepped up for yet another painfull Xmas 'operation'...?? Then get yourself scrubbed up! - don your best outfit and head into Surgery with Dr.Smutglove live@ The Ship. Top up your festive 'spirit' with the special prescription cocktails... Sexy Nurses - Mad Scientists - Strict Matrons - Sadistic Surgeons - poorly patients all welcome - prize for best dressed Doctor/Nurse. Medical attire is optional, although anyone in 'normal dress' (whatever that means in The Ship??) will automatically be selected for this nights clinical trials... 19:30 - 22:30 The Ship, High Street, Croydon • Music: BIG CHRISTMAS QUIZ PARTY 8.30pm The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Road, Purley, CR8 2HA. www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Event: A Night Of Variety presented by Madame Galina Balletstar Galactica The Clocktower's favourite comedian ballerina Madame Galina is back again for her monthly night of variety at The Clocktower. She has again gathered together the finest collection of top quality cabaret acts from all four corners. The show will be a miraculous spectacular of the finest entertainment for miles. A show not to be missed. 8pm. Full Price £9, Concession £7 Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street, Croydon. Box Office: 020 8253 1030 www.croydonclocktower.org.uk • Film: It Happened One Night (PG) 1934 US 105Mins Director:Frank Capra Stars:Clark Gable, Claudette Colbert 8.15pm. Full Price £7.30 Concession £4.80 Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street, Croydon. Box Office: 020 8253 1030 www.croydonclocktower.org.uk
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Fri 24 • Film: It's A Wonderful LIfe (PG) 1946 US 129Mins Director: Frank Capra Stars:James Stewart, Donna Reed, Lionel Barrymore, Thomas Mitchell 12pm & 2.20pm. Full Price £7.30, Concession £4.80 Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street, Croydon. Box Office: 020 8253 1030 www.croydonclocktower.org.uk • Club: Ultimate Garage Santa Pimps & Hoes Fancy Dress Party Ultimate Garage continues their very popular Friday night event as they bring you a Christmas Eve special with Live PAs, headline MCs and the finest Old Skool Garage DJs on the circuit. Live PA: Hyperactive performing "Sexy Cinderella" Hosted by MCs Spark & Kie, Nabz, Enamie, Taz DJs Kure, Kippa D, Danny E, DSB B2B Ritchy Irons, Stan Da Man Admission 9pm until 3am Guest List £5 all night. More on the door. For guest list, VIP bookings and tables, please email bookings@looplounge.co.uk Loop Lounge is an over 18s venue, photo ID is required by all. No ID, no entry. Loop Lounge, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ. 020 8760 7000 www.looplounge.co.uk • Club: Christmas Eve family party with LINTON DOORS AT 7PM £5 ENTRY ALL NIGHT Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: Christmas Eve at The Ship OK, so you've wrapped the turkey, stuffed the carol singers, eaten the decorations and roasted the presents. So forget everything else and come down to the Ship and let's kick Christmas off in our usual Hell for Leather style. Loud music, tequila, bar dancing, beer and all the trimmings. Santa Sean is on the decks and, you never know, there may be mistletoe over the bar. The bar's open until 2 so if you're lucky you might catch sight of a familiar red-suited fellow on your way home. Tickets are £4 in advance from the bar. Make sure you get yours beforehand as they won't be available on the night. Over 18's only and bring ID. 20:00 - 25 December at 02:00 The Ship, High Street, Croydon
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What’s On - Daily Guide: • Music: Banned Sauce CHRISTMAS GIG @ THE OVAL TAVERN 20:00 - 25 December at 01:00 The Oval Tavern East Croydon, 131 Oval Road, Cronx • Music: PAPA AMOS BAND 9.30pm The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Road, Purley, CR8 2HA. www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Party: Fabulous Christmas Eve Party 20:30 - 23:30 - It's Christmas Eve and it's going to be fabulous. Need I say more? The Royal Standard, 1 Sheldon Street, Croydon • Party: Xmas Eve The Green Dragon, High Street, Croydon
• Club: FABIO + GROOVERIDER FABIO + GROOVERIDER (BBC Radio 1) Andy skopes (31 Records) MrJoseph (Fizzy Beats) Madcap (Good Looking) Mc’s- Blackeye & Deefa £8 quid all night 8pm till late We are a members only bar, please bring ID to sign up on the night Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: OPEN MIC NIGHT 8.30pm The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Road, Purley, CR8 2HA. www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk
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Mon 27
• Event: Christmas Day Happy Xmas to all! • And They’re Open: Christmas Day Pubs we know are open Xmas Day include The Brief, The Builders Arms, The Dog and Bull, The Jolly Farmers. We’ll add more to our facebook page deep-london as we get them...
• Event: Bank Holiday • Sport: The Ashes Australia v England in the 4th Test, from Melbourne. See article, this issue. Play starts 11.30pm GMT. • Music: Helter Skelter Local Alt/Indie Rockers play a one-off free gig (Downstairs). Doors 8pm. FREE Entryy Scream Lounge, 20 Southend, Croydon CR0 1DN, lounge@screamstudios.co.uk www.myspace.com/screamstudios • Club: Re-U-Nite DJ,S ON THE NITE H.D.1 ACE SHYLLON VIBRANT C LSD N MR DANIELS ,TO LISTEN TO THE VIBES ON THE NITE GO TO WWW.HARMONYCOLLECTIVE.COM .TICKETS AVAILABLE NOW FROM SWAG RECORDS CROYDON N TABERNERS LOUNGE BAR . 22:00 - 06:00 Taberners Lounge Bar, 28-30 St George’s Walk, Croydon www.tabernersloungebar.com
Sun 26 • Event: Boxing Day Turkey curry all round. • Sport: The Ashes Australia v England in the 4th Test, from Melbourne. See article, this issue. Play starts 11.30pm GMT. • Sport: Crystal Palace v Norwich Championship football. Kick off 1pm. Tickets and info from www.cpfc.co.uk. • Sport: Kempton Races Jumps horse racing featuring the King George. Live on terrestrial TV. Info and tickets from www.kempton.co.uk. • Music: Homebrood Acoustic Sunday Matinee Special with Homebrood The local folk foursome host a festive afternoon session in the lounge bar Everyone welcome! Bring an instrument and join in. Doors 2pm. FREE Entry Scream Lounge, 20 Southend, Croydon CR0 1DN, lounge@screamstudios.co.uk www.myspace.com/screamstudios • Music: Magic Brother, Ham Legion & The Mulatones Croydon's Rock/Prog/Electronica all-stars return, with support from Cardiacs-esque Brighton nutters Ham Legion and latin gabba big-band The Mulatones! (Upstairs) Doors 8.30pm. FREE Entry Scream Lounge, 20 Southend, Croydon CR0 1DN, lounge@screamstudios.co.uk www.myspace.com/screamstudios
Tue 28 • Event: Bank Holiday • Sport: The Ashes Australia v England in the 4th Test, from Melbourne. See article, this issue. Play starts 11.30pm GMT. • Sport: Bristol City v Crystal Palace Championship football. Kick off 3pm. Tickets and info from www.cpfc.co.uk. • Sport: Lingfield Races Flat horse racing - all weather. Direct train from East Croydon. More info and tickets from www.lingfield-racecourse.co.uk • Music: Kabogaeries, The Red Route & So Many Pandas ALL-AGES Alternative/Indie Night With Kabogaeries, The Red Route & So Many Pandas . Three of Croydon's hottest up 35
and coming leftfield bands take over the lounge. No Alcohol permitted in the live room. Under 14s Must be accompanied by a paying adult. Doors 7pm. Entry £4 Scream Lounge, 20 Southend, Croydon CR0 1DN, lounge@screamstudios.co.uk www.myspace.com/screamstudios • Music: FREE YOUSELF CHRISTMAS KNEES UP The last Kilburn Soul Rub Good Ship Free Yourself PARTY of 2010. Extra special big fat line-up for you this year - newcomer Rachel Maby will be opening up proceedings, followed by the all-live raw rowdy hip-hop bomb drop that is FUR (new recording from FUR below!), a very welcome return from Size Nine following the release of their fantastic album, and of course, Something Simple. Open til 2am as it's a weeknight this time friends, hopefully with the ever wonderful DJ ROYALE (to be confirmed) spinning big bangerz. 19:30 - 29 December at 02:00 The Good Ship 289 Kilburn High Road, NW6 7JR • Music: Rob's Musical Zoo Live music from a variety of acts from regulars at the Standard. 20:30 - 23:30 The Royal Standard, 1 Sheldon Street, Croydon
Wed 29 • Sport: The Ashes Australia v England in the 4th Test, from Melbourne. See article, this issue. Play starts 11.30pm GMT. • Music: Comedy Night CHRISTMAS SPECIAL A feast of fantastic live comedians from the cream of the UK circuit. Including TV stars Jeff Leach & Dave Cole plus loads more. Hosted by Pete K Mally Doors 8pm FREE ENTRY Scream Lounge, 20 Southend, Croydon CR0 1DN, lounge@screamstudios.co.uk www.myspace.com/screamstudios • Music: STATIN QUO rearranged date. Status Quo Tribute Night 9.00 p.m. Ticket only: £5 in advance, £6 on the night (buy in advance or come early on the night as tickets are limited ) The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Road, Purley, CR8 2HA. www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk
Thu 30 • Sport: The Ashes Australia v England in the 4th Test, from Melbourne. See article, this issue. Play starts 11.30pm GMT.
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What’s On - Daily Guide: • Sport: Lingfield Races Flat horse racing - all weather. Direct train from East Croydon. More info and tickets from www.lingfield-racecourse.co.uk
Fri 31 • Event: New Year’s Eve • Sport: Lingfield Races Flat horse racing - all weather. Direct train from East Croydon. More info and tickets from www.lingfield-racecourse.co.uk • Club: New Year's Eve Dirty Disclosure vs. Class of 99 Want to go out and smash it this New Years Eve? Then head to Loop Lounge – the only NYE party where you can hit the dance floor hard, without hitting your wallet. For one incredible night, the city's two most epic club events of the decade battle it out in the DJ box with your favourite club classics and heavyweight house tunes. Twice the carnage, half the price: guaranteed! See you at the countdown. Live PA: Kele Le Roc performing huge Garage anthems including “My Love” and “Things We Do” Scott Garcia DJ Set, with DJ support from.. House DJs, James Murray, George Turner, Lewis James, Lee Game, George Smeddles, Matt Domingez, Old Skool Garage DJs DJ Okie, Peeping Tom Drinks promotions before 11pm Admission 9pm until 6am Advance Tickets Start at £8 for ladies and £10 for gents Tickets available direct from Loop Lounge or from www.ticketweb.co.uk Loop Lounge, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ. 020 8760 7000 www.looplounge.co.uk • Club: NEW YEARS EVE CELEBRATIONS with LINTON DOORS AT 7PM £3 BEFORE 9PM / £6 AFTER Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: Oval NYE Spectacular! New Years Eve spectacular featuring Oval Djs rocking the decks and playing live..... the amazing Brothers of the Mother Shovel supported by Croydons own Camp Dwarf £10 per ticket - limited number please contact the Oval on 020 8686 6023 or Ruth on 07979515531 for your tickets. 20:00 - 02:00 The Oval Tavern, Oval Road, East Croydon • Music: NEW YEARS EVE PARTY 8.00 p.m. – 2.00 a.m. STEVE BRIGHT solo / duo / band / ensemble / orchestra
hosts…. ticket only entry - £10 includes, party, prizes, buffet .. available now The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Road, Purley, CR8 2HA. www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Party: New Years Eve Extravaganza 20:30 - 23:30 The Royal Standard, 1 Sheldon Street, Croydon • Party: New Years Eve at The Ship - Cops and Robbers Yes, it's that time of year again. Time to wave goodbye (or good riddance) to 2010 and to welcome in a lovely fresh shiny new year. And where better to start a new year but the Ship. However 2010's treated you, come down and see it off in true Ship style with DJs Swedish Dave and Zoe Urchin. We've set a Cops and Robbers theme so dress to impress and join us in a party to beat all parties. Tickets are £5 in advance from the bar - get yours beforehand as they're not going to be sold on the night. Over 18's only and bring ID. 20:00 - 02:00 The Ship, High Street, Croydon • Party: NYE Taberners Lounge Bar, 28-30 St George’s Walk, Croydon www.tabernersloungebar.com • Party: NYE The Green Dragon, High Street, Croydon
Sat 01 January 2011 • Event: New Year’s Day Happy New Year and National Hangover day! • Sport: Millwall v Crystal Palace Championship football. Kick off 1.30pm. Tickets and info from www.cpfc.co.uk.
Sun 02 • Sport: Plumpton Races Jumps horse racing. Direct train from East Croydon. More info and tickets from www.plumptonracecourse.co.uk • Club: EMISSIONS HARD HOUSE || ACID HOUSE || TECHNO || NU NRG || BREAKCORE || NEURO £5 ADV + BF / £6 OTD advance tickets available 2000 - 2100 - CALLUM BAKER - LIVE ACT / 45 MIN SET 2100 - 2200 - JIM CHAMBERS MINISTRY OF SOUND 2200 - 2300 - DEAN ZONE - REBELLION / MAGNETIX 2300 - 0000 - DANNY TAPPENDEN DIRECT DRIVE 0000 - 0100 - BSE - ZOOLOGY / ALUMNI 0100 - 0200 - DJ LP - LONDON IVY 36
0200 - 0300 - THE TECHNICIAN / SAFETY DAVE - LONDON IVY 0300 - 0400 - J IMPACT B2B HAPPY JACK - DUBKULTURE / LONDON IVY 2100 Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar
Mon 03 • Event: Bank Holiday • Sport: The Ashes Australia v England in the 5th and final Test, from Sydney. See article, this issue. Play starts 11.30pm GMT. • Sport: Crystal Palace v Preston Championship football. Kick off 3pm. Tickets and info from www.cpfc.co.uk. • Sport: Lingfield Races Jumps horse racing. Direct train from East Croydon. More info and tickets from www.lingfield-racecourse.co.uk • Music: Begin With Simplicity I Won't Go Your Way Paranoid Sons Stress Rehearsal plus more tbc Alll-Ages Band Showcase Night All-ages welcome, No Alcohol permitted in the live room Under 14s Must be accompanied by a paying adult Doors 8pm Entry £10 Scream Lounge, 20 Southend, Croydon CR0 1DN, lounge@screamstudios.co.uk www.myspace.com/screamstudios
Tue 04 • Sport: The Ashes Australia v England in the 5th and final Test, from Sydney. See article, this issue. Play starts 11.30pm GMT. • Music: 1979, We Forgot Kevin, The Horny Skulls & Contagious (Punk/post-punk/Indie) Doors 8pm. Entry £2 Scream Lounge, 20 Southend, Croydon CR0 1DN, lounge@screamstudios.co.uk www.myspace.com/screamstudios • Film: Somewhere (15) 2010 US 98Mins Director & Writer: Sofia Coppola Stars: Stephen Dorff, Laura Ramsey, Michelle Monaghan, Elle Fanning, Robert Schwartzman 1.30pm. Full Price £7.30, Concession £4.80 Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street, Croydon. Box Office: 020 8253 1030 www.croydonclocktower.org.uk
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What’s On - Daily Guide: Wed 05
Sat 08
• Sport: The Ashes Australia v England in the 5th and final Test, from Sydney. See article, this issue. Play starts 11.30pm GMT. • Sport: Lingfield Races Flat horse racing - all weather. Direct train from East Croydon. More info and tickets from www.lingfield-racecourse.co.uk • Film: Somewhere (15) 2010 US 98Mins Director & Writer: Sofia Coppola Stars: Stephen Dorff, Laura Ramsey, Michelle Monaghan, Elle Fanning, Robert Schwartzman 1.30pm. Full Price £7.30, Concession £4.80 Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street, Croydon. Box Office: 020 8253 1030 www.croydonclocktower.org.uk
• Sport: Coventry City v Crystal Palace FA Cup football. Kick off 3pm. Tickets and info from www.cpfc.co.uk. • Sport: Lingfield Races Flat horse racing - all weather. Direct train from East Croydon. More info and tickets from www.lingfield-racecourse.co.uk • Club: James Murray Birthday Bash Loop favourite James Murray celebrates his birthday once again at Loop Lounge with DJs playing a mixture of House, Old Skool Garage and Old Skool Rave. DJs Slipmatt, Pied Piper & MC Sparks, James Murray, Lee Games, Theo B, Stan Da Man, Ollie Killick Host MC Sparks Half price drinks all night Admission £5 / £10 8pm until 4am Loop Lounge, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ. 020 8760 7000 www.looplounge.co.uk • Music: Metalworks The legendary Camden covers band begin their monthly residency at Scream Lounge. Playing classic metal, including songs by Judas Priest, Megadeth, Thin Lizzy, Van Halen, Metallica, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Kiss and a whole lot more!! Doors 8pm. Entry £5 Scream Lounge, 20 Southend, Croydon CR0 1DN, lounge@screamstudios.co.uk www.myspace.com/screamstudios
Thu 06 • Sport: The Ashes Australia v England in the 5th and final Test, from Sydney. See article, this issue. Play starts 11.30pm GMT. • Music: 1Kaleidofly, T-Leaves, Rob Warman (Rock/Indie/Acoustic), 7.30pm. £3 Entry Scream Lounge, 20 Southend, Croydon CR0 1DN, lounge@screamstudios.co.uk www.myspace.com/screamstudios • Film: Somewhere (15) 2010 US 98Mins Director & Writer: Sofia Coppola Stars: Stephen Dorff, Laura Ramsey, Michelle Monaghan, Elle Fanning, Robert Schwartzman 8.25pm. Full Price £7.30, Concession £4.80 Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street, Croydon. Box Office: 020 8253 1030 www.croydonclocktower.org.uk
Fri 07 • Sport: The Ashes Australia v England in the 5th and final Test, from Sydney. See article, this issue. Play starts 11.30pm GMT. • Sport: Lingfield Races Flat horse racing - all weather. Direct train from East Croydon. More info and tickets from www.lingfield-racecourse.co.uk • Music: The 9s, Electric Trees, Rickshaw (Alt/Indie) plus more tbc, Doors 7.30pm £tbc Scream Lounge, 20 Southend, Croydon CR0 1DN, lounge@screamstudios.co.uk www.myspace.com/screamstudios
Sun 09 • See weekly what’s on
Mon 10 • See weekly what’s on
Tue 11 • See weekly what’s on
Wed 12 • Sport: Australia v England Cricket. 1st Twenty20 International from Adelaide. Day/Night match. Play starts 08.35am GMT. • Sport: Lingfield Races Flat horse racing - all weather. Direct train from East Croydon. More info and tickets from www.lingfield-racecourse.co.uk
Thu 13 • Music: Your City Is Forgotten, Flowers For Her Grave, Flowers Of 37
Flesh and Blood Bleed To This Present: an evening of Harcore/Metalcore with Your City Is Forgotten Flowers For Her Grave Flowers Of Flesh and Blood Local thrash metallers Bleed To This host the first of their monthly Thursday metal nights with 3 top metal/hardcore acts. Doors 8pm. £4 Entry Scream Lounge, 20 Southend, Croydon CR0 1DN, lounge@screamstudios.co.uk www.myspace.com/screamstudios • Event: FELA! LIVE from the National Theatre A provocative and wholly unique hybrid of dance, theatre and music. Fela! Explores the extravagant, descent and rebellious world of Afrobeat legend Fela AnikulapoKuti. Using his pioneering music (a blend of jazz and an African rhythm and harmonies), Fela! Reveals Kuti’s controversial life as an artist and political activist. 7pm. Full Price £15, Concession £13 Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street, Croydon. Box Office: 020 8253 1030 www.croydonclocktower.org.uk
Fri 14 • Sport: Australia v England Cricket. 2nd Twenty20 International from Melbourne. Day/Night match. Play starts 08.35am GMT. • Sport: Lingfield Races Flat horse racing - all weather. Direct train from East Croydon. More info and tickets from www.lingfield-racecourse.co.uk • Music: Tangled Hair, Suffer Like G Did, Arcane Roots, Cubrik BA Splash Of Colour Here presents Tangled Hair, Suffer Like G Did, Arcane Roots, Cubrik A fantastic line-up of alternative/post hardcore/melodramatic pop/experimental indie math rock. Doors 7.30pm. Entry £5 Scream Lounge, 20 Southend, Croydon CR0 1DN, lounge@screamstudios.co.uk www.myspace.com/screamstudios
Sat 15 • Sport: Swansea City v Crystal Palace Championship football. Kick off 12.45pm. Tickets and info from www.cpfc.co.uk. • Sport: The Masters Snooker from Wembley Arena. • Sport: Lingfield Races Flat horse racing - all weather. Direct train from East Croydon. More info and tickets from www.lingfield-racecourse.co.uk
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What’s On - Daily Guide: • Music: James Hunter Crawdaddy Croydon presents: James Hunter - TJames Hunter plus guests Cellar Door The Grammy-nominated retro-Soul star stops off in Croydon in support of his Jackie Wilson/Sam Cooke inspired new album 'The Hard Way'. An extremely rare chance to see a big name in a small room. Support comes from celebrated local Americana acoustic duo Cellar Door. Absolutely not to be missed!! Upstairs. Doors 8pm. Entry £10 adv Scream Lounge, 20 Southend, Croydon CR0 1DN, lounge@screamstudios.co.uk www.myspace.com/screamstudios • Club: Ultimate Garage 2011 Launch Party No more details at time of going to press. Check website for details. Loop Lounge, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ. 020 8760 7000 www.looplounge.co.uk • Comedy: Jackson's Way: The Jacksathon... 26(.2) Jackson's Ways in 26(.2) Jackson's Days! Winner of the Perrier Award for Comedy 2004. “Hi I’m Jackson, and ten years ago I got excited…” JACKSON’S BACKSON! Will Adamsdale’s Perrier Award winning life coach character undertakes his most ambitious project yet: touring 26(.2) London venues in 26(.2) days, on a marathon trip to bring Jackson’s Way, his hilarious gospel of self helplessness, to the people of London Town. 8pm. Full price £10, Concessions £8 Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street, Croydon. Box Office: 020 8253 1030 www.croydonclocktower.org.uk
Sun 16 • Sport: Australia v England Cricket. 1st One Day International from Melbourne. Play starts 03.20am GMT. • Sport: The Masters Snooker from Wembley Arena. • Music: A Tribute to Neil Young An Acoustic Sunday special, as local acts including Soapy Jefferson, Mark Woods (Junkyard Choir/Do Me Bad Things), Ten Foot Jon and many more tbc celebrate the music of grizzled Canadian legend & singer/songwriter Neil Young. Expect endless guitar solos and plenty of sing-along oppurtunities! Live in the Lounge Bar Starts 7pm. FREE ENTRY Scream Lounge, 20 Southend, Croydon CR0 1DN, lounge@screamstudios.co.uk www.myspace.com/screamstudios
Mon 17 • Sport: Plumpton Races Jumps horse racing. Direct train from East Croydon. More info and tickets from www.plumptonracecourse.co.uk
Tue 18 • See Weekly What’s On
Wed 19 • Sport: Lingfield Races Flat horse racing - all weather. Direct train from East Croydon. More info and tickets from www.lingfield-racecourse.co.uk • Music: Sweet Ambition Female singer songwriter Ruby Martins hosts a night of laid back soul/R&B music plus an exhibition of local artist's work. Doors tbc. £tbc Scream Lounge, 20 Southend, Croydon CR0 1DN, lounge@screamstudios.co.uk www.myspace.com/screamstudios • Film: Peeping Tom (18) 50th Anniversary 1960 UK 101Mins Director: Michael Powell Stars: Michael Goodliffe, Karlheinz Bohm, Moira Shearer A key film in British Horror Cinema history 8:30 PM. Full Price £7.30 Concessions £4.80 Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street, Croydon. Box Office: 020 8253 1030 www.croydonclocktower.org.uk • Dance: Foxtrot Tango Charlie – Tea Dance with a Twist It’s a tea dance – with a twist! Instead of tea, we offer sumptuous cocktails (alcoholic or non-alcoholic) at a dizzyingly low price at the special Cocktail Corner bar of the gorgeous wood-panelled Braithwaite Hall. Come and savour the best of social dancing at this regular monthly early evening soiree – suitable for experienced dancers and absolute beginners alike. You don’t need to bring a dance partner, and people of all ages and persuasions are most welcome! Dorothy’s Shoes and her Gentleman Friend Champagne Charlie are your hosts, accompanied by other special guest performers and co-hosts, so come and be drawn into the dance. Encounter whimsical dance demonstrations, and whizz-bang instant dance classes. Expect the vintage sounds of tempestuous tangos, quirky quicksteps, and wistful waltzes. And we’ll go upbeat with luscious Latin rhythms, sizzling Swing, and whatever else takes our fancy – perhaps the sexy Saturday Night Fever disco hustle, a cheeky Cowboy 38
Polka, or a chirpy Charleston. Oh, and if you really insist – you can get a cup of tea at the Clocktower café-bar! So grab your dancing shoes and come along – see you on the dancefloor! 5pm. Full price £6, Concessions £3 Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street, Croydon. Box Office: 020 8253 1030 www.croydonclocktower.org.uk
Thu 20 • Sport: Lingfield Races Flat horse racing - all weather. Direct train from East Croydon. More info and tickets from www.lingfield-racecourse.co.uk • Music: Deprevate, Silent Disguise plus more tbc Exposure Events present Deprevate, Silent Disguise, plus more tbc Deprevate are a hard-hitting and hookladen blast of fresh air to the local scene. Fast, skillful and with an arsenal of catchy melodies, this young, new four-piece are bringing the exhilaration and energy back to Croydon rock and metal. Doors tbc. £4 Entry Scream Lounge, 20 Southend, Croydon CR0 1DN, lounge@screamstudios.co.uk www.myspace.com/screamstudios • Film: Peeping Tom (18) 50th Anniversary 1960 UK 101Mins Director: Michael Powell Stars: Michael Goodliffe, Karlheinz Bohm, Moira Shearer A key film in British Horror Cinema history 1:30 PM. Full Price £7.30 Concessions £4.80 Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street, Croydon. Box Office: 020 8253 1030 www.croydonclocktower.org.uk
Fri 21 • Sport: Australia v England Cricket. 2nd One Day International from Hobart. Play starts 03.20am GMT. • Sport: Lingfield Races Flat horse racing - all weather. Direct train from East Croydon. More info and tickets from www.lingfield-racecourse.co.uk • Event: POWERJAX ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY/BIRTHDAY 19:30 - 22:30. £5 on the door, Buffet, DJ, Balloons, Lights, Camera and LOTS OF ZUMBA action and more. In celebration of your support over the past year I'll be awarding long service awards, special achievement awards and possibly a couple other surprises up my sleeve. Look forward to seeing you there January is officially PARTY month!
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What’s On - Daily Guide: Taberners Lounge Bar, 28 - 30 St Georges Walk, Croydon. www.tabernersloungebar.com • Music: The Lost Audio, The Vertigos, Dirty Scavenger, Marc Halls (Fei Comodo) Wildfire Music Presents The Lost Audio, The Vertigos, Dirty Scavenger, Marc Halls (Fei Comodo) Alt/Rock from a range of styles, headlined by Maroon 5-esque rockers The Lost Audio - one of Croydon's finest live acts - plus a special guest appearance by the frontman from rising UK Metalcore band Fei Comodo Downstairs. Doors 8pm. Entry £5 Scream Lounge, 20 Southend, Croydon CR0 1DN, lounge@screamstudios.co.uk www.myspace.com/screamstudios • Music: Beef, The Tuesday Group, Pripyat Version, Beef Offcuts (Rock). Upstairs. Doors 7pm. £3 Entry Scream Lounge, 20 Southend, Croydon CR0 1DN, lounge@screamstudios.co.uk www.myspace.com/screamstudios
Sat 22 • Sport: Crystal Palace v Bristol City Championship football. Kick off 3pm. Tickets and info from www.cpfc.co.uk. • Sport: Lingfield Races Flat horse racing - all weather. Direct train from East Croydon. More info and tickets from www.lingfield-racecourse.co.uk • Club: Ibiza Underground – The Return The Ibiza Underground Club Tour kicks off 2011 in style as they return to Loop Lounge for a night of house music headlined by Ibiza favourite Timo Garcia. Timo Garcia, Dirty Stop Outs, Lewis James, Carl Renn, Tyler Millan Admission 9pm until 4am. Loop Lounge, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ. 020 8760 7000 www.looplounge.co.uk • Music: Bad Sign EP Launch The Croydon hard-rock 3-piece celebrate the release of their new EP with a FREE headline set on the main stage at Scream. Support tbc. Doors 8pm. FREE Entry Scream Lounge, 20 Southend, Croydon CR0 1DN, lounge@screamstudios.co.uk www.myspace.com/screamstudios
Sun 23
• Music: Acoustic Sunday special Dan from Homebrood hosts a night of acoustic performances and jams, including sets by JJB & The Weards The Forlorn Hope and more Starts 7pm FREE Entry Scream Lounge, 20 Southend, Croydon CR0 1DN, lounge@screamstudios.co.uk www.myspace.com/screamstudios
Mon 24 • Science: Cafe Scientifique with Professor Page of Kings College London. 6.30pm. FREE event. Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street, Croydon. Box Office: 020 8253 1030 www.croydonclocktower.org.uk
Tue 25 • Event: Burns’ Night Wee dram and a haggis... • Music: I'll Eat Your Face, Lamp, Clarity A real mix of far-out alternative bands, with everything from face-melting prog grindcore insanity to wigged out ambient experimentation. Doors 7.30pm £tbc Scream Lounge, 20 Southend, Croydon CR0 1DN, lounge@screamstudios.co.uk www.myspace.com/screamstudios
Wed 26 • Sport: Australia v England Cricket. 4th One Day International from Adelaide. Play starts 03.20am GMT. • Sport: Lingfield Races Flat horse racing - all weather. Direct train from East Croydon. More info and tickets from www.lingfield-racecourse.co.uk • Music: ILaughing In The Face Of, Company L, Darko, Almeida, Just Add Monsters, Skate/Punk & more Disconnect Disconnect records present Laughing In The Face Of, Company L, Darko, Almeida, Just Add Monsters, Skate/Punk & more Doors 7.30pm £5 Entry Scream Lounge, 20 Southend, Croydon CR0 1DN, lounge@screamstudios.co.uk www.myspace.com/screamstudios
• Sport: Australia v England Cricket. 3rd One Day International from Hobart. Play starts 03.20am GMT. 39
Thu 27 • Music: Nylon Sky, Angels Gate & Via The Void (Rock/Metal). Doors 8pm, Entry £tbc Scream Lounge, 20 Southend, Croydon CR0 1DN, lounge@screamstudios.co.uk www.myspace.com/screamstudios • Music: Kitty Lipps, Karn8, Silicone Bullet & more tbc Wicked Boy Records Presents A night of Glam/Garage/Rock, featuring the fantastic girl-fronted garage 3-piece Karn8 Doors 8pm. Entry £4 Scream Lounge, 20 Southend, Croydon CR0 1DN, lounge@screamstudios.co.uk www.myspace.com/screamstudios
Fri 28 • Sport: Lingfield Races Flat horse racing - all weather. Direct train from East Croydon. More info and tickets from www.lingfield-racecourse.co.uk • Music: Juan Martin – Flamenco Fire and Soul The man invited by Picasso to play at his 90th birthday celebrations, Juan Martin is a celebrated virtuoso of the flamenco guitar, voted into the top three guitarists in the world by US magazine ‘Guitar Player’, Juan Martín played in the Spanish film ‘Donde tu estes’ filmed in Marbella aged 17 and has since gone on to perform at international festivals from Montreux to Hong Kong and at the First World Guitar Congress in the USA. 8pm. Full price £14, Concessions £12 Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street, Croydon. Box Office: 020 8253 1030 www.croydonclocktower.org.uk
Sat 29 • Sport: Lingfield Races Flat horse racing - all weather. Direct train from East Croydon. More info and tickets from www.lingfield-racecourse.co.uk • Club: Back to the Old Skool ‘Back to the Old Skool’ return to bring you another night packed full of house and garage classics. Headlining is the one and only Ratpack, the original ‘Kings of Rave’. Best known for hits including ‘Captain of the Ship’ and ‘Searching for my Rizla’ they play their usual mix of old skool classics. And where there are rats you need a piper, and we bring you South London’s very own Pied Piper. Known for his number one hit ‘Do You Really Like It’ Pied Piper plays the best in old skool garage classics. So put on your raving shoes and touch down at Loop Lounge for a night not to be missed! Ratpack (live), Pied Piper (Old Skool
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What’s On - Daily Guide: Garage Set), Theo B, DJ Kure, Pete Regan More details to be released. 9pm until 4am Guest List £7, more on the door. For guest list please send full names to guestlist@giftedpromotions.com Loop Lounge, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ. 020 8760 7000 www.looplounge.co.uk • Music: A Tribute to The Sex Pistols with top UK tribute act The Pistols. Expect filth, fury, prettiness & vacancy! Doors tbc £tbc Scream Lounge, 20 Southend, Croydon CR0 1DN, lounge@screamstudios.co.uk www.myspace.com/screamstudios
Sun 30
Lear, broadcast to cinemas around the world from the Donmar Warehouse in Covent Garden. “Who is it that can tell me who I am?” An ageing monarch. A kingdom divided. A child’s love rejected. As Lear’s world descends into chaos, all that he once believed is brought into question. One of the greatest works in western literature, King Lear explores the very nature of human existence: love and duty, power and loss, good and evil. 7pm. Full Price £15, Concession £13 Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street, Croydon. Box Office: 020 8253 1030 www.croydonclocktower.org.uk
Fri 04
• See Weekly What’s On
• Sport: Six Nations Rugby Union Wales v England, KO 19:45 • Sport: Lingfield Races Flat horse racing - all weather. Direct train from East Croydon. More info and tickets from www.lingfield-racecourse.co.uk • Music: Clone Live classic rock covers night with Clone Playing the music of GnR, The Darkness, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Aerosmith, AC/DC etc.. Doors 8pm £3 Entry Scream Lounge, 20 Southend, Croydon CR0 1DN, lounge@screamstudios.co.uk www.myspace.com/screamstudios
Tue 01 February
Sat 05
• Sport: Watford v Crystal Palace Championship football. Kick off 7.45pm. Tickets and info from www.cpfc.co.uk.
• Sport: Crystal Palace v Middlesbrough Championship football. Kick off 3pm. Tickets and info from www.cpfc.co.uk. • Sport: Six Nations Rugby Union France v Scotland, KO 17:00 Italy v Ireland, KO 14:30 • Sport: Lingfield Races Flat horse racing - all weather. Direct train from East Croydon. More info and tickets from www.lingfield-racecourse.co.uk • Music: Penguin Cafe “Penguin Cafe continues to occupy a unique place in music: nothing else has ever sounded quite like it. Eccentric, charming, accommodating, surprising, seductive, warm, reliable, modest and unforgettable: it's a true friend.” Brian Eno Penguin Café headline festivals and sold out The Royal Albert Hall. Their music has been used so much in TV and film that one would be sure to recognise their unique sound even without hearing one of the many incredible albums they have
• Sport: Australia v England Cricket. 5th One Day International from Brisbane. Play starts 03.20am GMT. • Music: Acoustically Speaking Eclectic Arts Network Presents Acoustically Speaking (Open mic/Spoken Word/Music & Poetry Night) Upstairs. Starts 7pm £5 Entry Scream Lounge, 20 Southend, Croydon CR0 1DN, lounge@screamstudios.co.uk www.myspace.com/screamstudios
Mon 31
Wed 02
• Sport: Australia v England Cricket. 6th One Day International from Sydney. Play starts 03.20am GMT. • Sport: Lingfield Races Flat horse racing - all weather. Direct train from East Croydon. More info and tickets from www.lingfield-racecourse.co.uk
Thu 03 • Music: Fleshrot, Towers Of Flesh & more tbc (Extreme/Death Metal), Doors 8pm Entry £4 adv Scream Lounge, 20 Southend, Croydon CR0 1DN, lounge@screamstudios.co.uk www.myspace.com/screamstudios • Event: King Lear LIVE from the National Theatre Donmar’s Artistic Director, Michael Grandage directs Derek Jacobi as King
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made since 1977. Croydon is extremely privileged to have such an exclusive and intimate performance from such a world class band in the space of The Braithwaite Hall at the Clocktower Arts Centre. The band will be rehearsing at the Clocktower for two days prior to their shows and trying out new material before their tour. Tickets are limited so get yours soon. As a child growing up in the eighties, the sounds of Penguin Cafe seemed both at once innovative and immediate, using rubber bands and found sounds not usually heard amongst an orchestra yet it was also packed full of the classical devices that got our little hearts beating and our feet tapping, the kind of dramatic crescendos which would have three children spinning chaotically in the living room like whirling dervishes after one too many Smarties. Their sound is at once familiar and new, combining acoustic power and a beguiling, feisty charm. The Penguin Cafe Orchestra played their first major gig with Kraftwerk in 1976 at The Roundhouse Camden. The band was founded by Simon Jeffes and other mainstay of the band Cellist Helen Liebmann, the Orchestra would contract and expand with a dazzling collective of musicians, depending on the need. After 20 years making international hit records and touring the world Simon sadly died in 1997. Simon's son Arthur brought the band together for a three night sell out run at The Union Chapel in Islington and since then has continued to tour under the name Penguin Café selling out The Royal Albert Hall as part of the BBC proms 2010. 8pm. £15 Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street, Croydon. Box Office: 020 8253 1030 www.croydonclocktower.org.uk
-------------------------------------------GOT SOMETHING GOING ON? WE’RE NOT PSYCHIC - YOU HAVE TO LET US KNOW TO GET LISTED - FOR FREE! E: hello@deep-london.co.uk
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featured pubs directory • Oval Tavern: Great beer garden, live blues music every Thursday and Sunday, Djs and the usual Oval happenings including the big Sunday Roast. Real ales. Children welcome in the garden. The Oval Tavern, Oval Road, East Croydon. • Green Dragon: We're a safe, family-friendly pub. 5 big screens for sport; and air con. Regular live music upstairs, DJs downstairs, Monday pub quiz, book-swap, 2 pool tables, friendly staff, great food at great value. Real ales inc guest ales. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1NA. • Red Deer: 8 screens for sport, pool table, large funstion room for hire. Outdoor seating. The best value pub in South Croydon. The Red Deer, 279 Brighton Road, South Croydon. • Glamorgan: All fresh food restaurant and pub. Discover the authentic taste of South Africa. We are now serving crocodile, ostrich, babotie (summery, savoury mince dish). SA biltong and chilli biltong bar snacks. South African wine, Savanna cider & more. Monthly South African BBQs (Braai). Real ales including Harveys, Summer beer and guest beers. Beer Garden See advert for opening times. The Glamorgan, 81 Cherry Orchard Road, East Croydon Croydon CR0 6BE. 020 8688 6333 • Cricketers: CAMRA Croydon and Sutton Pub Of The Year. Ales include Harveys, Hophead, 4 rotating microbrewery ales. plus lager, wine spirits etc. Food served 12-7 every day. Legendary curries! Beer garden - patio and grassed, with kids play area. Wildlife garden. Car Park. BBQ. Dartboard. The Cricketer’s, 47 Shirley Rd, Croydon, Surrey, CR0 7ER
• Scream Lounge: Music every night of the week. See what’s on for full details. The Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN. www.myspace.com/screamstudios • The Royal Standard A Cordial welcome from Martin & Anne-Marie. Traditional Fullers Pub. Large secluded beer garden. Real ales. Bar snacks all day. Screens for sport. Darts with electronic scorer. Family friendly. 1 Sheldon Street, Croydon, CR0 1SS, 020 8688 9749. For events, find us on Facebook! • The Dog and Bull The Oldest pub in Croydon. Traditional Youngs Real Ales on tap and bottled. Open Mon-Thu 10am-11pm Fri/Sat 10am-11.30pm Sun 12-10.30pm. Food served Mon-Fri 12-2.30pm and 5-9pm. Sat & Sun 12-6pm. Lovely beer garden, outside BBQ, bar and pool table. Massive screens for terrestrial sport. Children welcome in the garden until 6pm. 24-25 Surrey Street, Croydon, CR0 1RG, 020 8667 9718 • Yates’s Wine Lodge: All sports shown on 6 large screens over two floors - premiership, championship football, rugby, cricket etc. We now have 2 amazing 3D Screens for sports being shown in 3D - come down and try it! Large beergarden, good food - extensive menu, drinks deals and offers. Functions catered for. Pool tables upstairs. Weekend DJs. Yates’s Wine Lodge, 5 High Street Croydon CR0 1QA. 020 8681 8219 • The Spread Eagle: All sports shown on large screens over two floors. Beer Patio. Excellent function room - free to hire. Great home cooked food. Sunday quiz 7pm. The Spread Eagle, 39-41 Katharine Street, Croydon CR0 1NX. 020 8781 1134 41
• The Tamworth Arms Traditional Youngs Pub. Big screen for Sky Sports. Bar snacks. Real ales. Open fire. Occasional summer BBQs (Ask at the bar). Beer garden. Weekly karaoke. Dart-board. Friendly staff. Beautiful hanging baskets. 62 Tamworth Road, Croydon, CR0 1XW • The Earl Of Eldon Traditional Greene King pub. Home made food. Sunday lunch 3 courses for £10. Sky sports. Weekly quiz, live music, open mic night. Lovely garden. Under friendly new Management. 63 Brighton Road, Croydon, CR2 6ED, 020 8726 0821 • The Brief Greene King pub. Friendly new manager and staff. Large range of fine ales & wines. Extensive menu served 12-9pm every day. Large function room available with catering (up to 150). recently refurbished, family friendly. 48 George Street, Croydon, CR0 1PD 020 8686 6878 • The Ship All new bright frontage, refreshing interior changes. Real ales. Regular
live music and DJs. Drink offers. The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD. ww.myspace.com/theshipofcroydon
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featured restaurant directory • Concitas: Mexican cuisine. Wide selection of cocktails as well as beers, wines, spirits, soft-drinks etc. Lively friendly atmosphere. DJs at weekends. Birthdays, hen parties and other events catered for. Large airy restuarant with air con. Kids welcome. Open 12-11pm every day. Concitas, 25-29 South End, Croydon, CR0 1BE.
• Apertura: NEW Restaurant / Bar. Modern British / European cuisine. Fine dining. Our top class chef has worked in Michelin starred kitchens serving royalty and other VIPs. Comfortable atmosphere. Very good selection of wines. Outside drinking / smoking area. Open 12-11pm every day. Apertura, 14 South End, (site of the old Firkin / Duke’s Head pub) Croydon, CR0 1DL.
• Zara’s Kitchen: A proper family-run restaurant serving authentic Indian cuisine. Bring your own alcohol - no corkage fee. Great food, terrifically friendly atmosphere. Takeaway available. Delivery available through www.hungryhouse.co.uk Sun-Thu 18:00-23:00 Fri-Sat 18:00-00:00 Zara’s Kitchen, 60 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DP 020 8688 0782.
featured businesses directory • Dreamstone Pagan Craft: Dreamstone Pagan Craft can now be found Upstairs at TIME*BOMB Dreamstone specialise in Gemstones and Crystals of high quality with a large range of complimentary items such as Esoteric gifts and Spiritual Equipment. Incense, Herbs, Pendulums, Jewellery, Books, Wands & Much more. For more information call us on 07944 626696 (11am - 6pm) TIME*BOMB, 31 high street Croydon, Surrey, CR0 1QB. See our new website at: www.dreamstonecrystals.co.uk
• Stones Hair Salon: Unisex. Fully qualified and friendly staff to provide cuts, colours and treatments to suit everyone. Cool music, great stylists, refreshments and cheap off-street parking. Stones Unisex Hair Salon, 6 Station Parade, Sanderstead Road, Croydon CR2 OPL, Tel: 020 8651 9333. • Timebomb: Alt Clothes shop, t-shirt printing, body piercing and now, tattoo studio. Time Bomb, 73 High St, Croydon, CR0 1QB Online shop: www.time-bomb.co.uk. T-shirt printing: www.timebombtshirts.com Piercing: http://timebombpiercing.com
• Pain Divine Tattoos: Specialities: custom work, biomechanical, demonic, oriental/japanese & realistic tattooing. Feel free to speak to us about your ideas and we'll be happy to do the design you require. We have all the health authority certificates, full sterilisation facilities, and our service is at the highest level of hygiene. The needles are clean, and yes it does hurt. Pain Divine, 99 Church Street Croydon, CR0 1RN. 020 8686 6136 www.paindivine.net • New Era Internet: Web design, development, marketing, hosting. www.newerainternet.com 0845 644 1484
• Hound Dog Commercial Art: Chalkboards for pubs, bars, cafes and restaurants. Ad, logo and flyer design. Geoff Lyons, 07887 592864.
Advertise your business or event with Deep-London Magazine and reach 25,000 people in and around Croydon, as well as on the web, every month! Prices start from just £10 per month for classified ads All ads are VAT exempt and all page ads are full colour Please call Angela on 07910 506197 or e-mail hello@deep-london.co.uk and we’d be happy to discuss your requirements 42
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Look out, it’s the return of everyone’s favourite astrologer and stranger to logic, Mystic Mike... "When the Editor asked me to consider making a sensational return to the back pages of her magazine, I felt nothing. When she literally pleaded with me to save the very existence of the magazine by providing some of the most perceptive astrological advice to residents of London’s 32nd best borough, I looked to the heavens and asked why I should agree. A tiny star sparkled and I took this to be a sign. A star sign. Speaking of which…” Jan 21-Feb 19
Pisces
time the guy wrote about how he had a successful career doing Bert and Ernie impressions, often turning his whole astrological page into one long advert for bookings for that unique talent (I saw him live at Fairfield Halls and children were weeping - Ed). Rest assured though heavenly body fans that this man has well and truly been run out of town, which, obviously is good for him because the best place to be in Croydon town is out of it. Anyway, I digress. What you probably require at this point is some kind of guidance. Some words or a theme that you can easily ruminate over for a good few seconds before your slightly backward brain manages to associate the context with an aspect of your life. Sort of like if I said: “Oh Aquarius, yeah, you lot will have a good year…” you would probably come to the conclusion that you’ll get a job, make lots of money, sleep with beautiful people, buy a new monkey - basically whatever your definition of “good” is at that particular moment in time. Well it’s not as easy as that I’m afraid, especially when you’re confined to 600 words. Divided into 11 or 12 star signs, I can never remember how bloody many there are, is about 50 words each. I ask you, how much can a decent writer pack into 50 words when people like you are expecting like, a proper star sign, with advice and stuff?
Chirpy.
Aquarius Some readers new to this publication, chancing upon these closing stanzas, may now be finding themselves a trifle bemused at the appearance of star signs, where perhaps last month there was an advert for a nail bar, or a short and slightly dull article about some Croydon-related shop or eccentric local with seven fingers who keeps badgers. Well, history lesson folks. Back in the day, these very pages were inhabited by Croydon’s finest (only) astrologer, who on a monthly basis gave a rapt audience free, humorous and to be honest, award-winning astrological insight. In an unblemished career spanning something like 22 dog years, not once, not on a single solitary occasion, did he ever manage to predict something. That kind of performance takes a level of consistency that most can only aspire to. Now I suspect, as a new reader, you are probably frantically already googling back issues just to see if this could really be true and merrily self flagellating yourselves on your good fortune to not have fallen victim to such a preposterous ruse. I mean, what idiot would read a whole star sign that never actually got round to making even the slightest attempt to even pretend to be, by the recognised definition, a “star sign” - eh? Certainly nobody lucky enough to have been born under one of the water signs (Aquarius is a water sign right Ed?) anyway. Legend has it that most of the
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Feb 20-Mar 20
Aries Chirpy.
Mar 21-Apr 20
Taurus
Apr 21-May 20
Cheep. Gemini
May 21-Jun 21
Cheep. Cancer Jun 22-Jul 22 You better watch out. Leo
Jul 23-Aug 22
What you wish for. Virgo
Aug 23-Sep 22
Despite it all, you made it worse. Libra
Sep 23-Oct 22
I could’ve shown you how to cry. Scorpio
Oct 23-Nov 21
Darcy Eleanor. Sagittarius
Nov 22 - Dec 21
? Capricorn !
Dec 22-Jan 20
Mystic Mike may or may not return in the new year, it’s impossible to predict...
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