Deep-London Magazine July 2008 by angela ferrara

www.deep-london.co.uk / www.myspace.com/wiredmag Ahoy-hoy... ...And welcome to issue 61. Well, what a marvellous month it’s been. First up, you may detect a certain continental flavour to this month’s editorial, in deference to how much I’ve enjoyed the European Championships, despite the somewhat ignominious Italian exit (‘So this is how the footie ends, not with a bang, but with a whimper’, to horribly misquote T.S. Eliot). It’s been a veritable ‘Grand Tour’ around the expletives and exasperated outbursts of Europe. My mastery of the pantheon of Italian profanity has never been so useful, and the online international swearing resource has been bookmarked since day one. O’Level French came in particularly handy for their pounding by Holland, witnessed down the Dog and Bull with some French supporters, and accompanied as it was by a series of Gallic outbursts from me along the lines of ‘Zut Alors!’, ‘Sacre Bleu!’, ‘L’oiseau est dans l’arbre!’. It’s been brilliant, or maybe I should say ‘molto bene’? Perhaps not. Anyway, as I’m writing this before the first semi-final I’ve no clue who won the thing, but I bet it was the bloody Germans. Elsewhere, inspired in no small part by the excellent ‘Supersizers Go...’ series with Giles Coren (is it terribly wrong that I so would, do you think?) and Croydon’s very own Sue Perkins (‘don’t be a stranger!’ - that’ll make sense to five people and my sister), I have this month mostly been regressing. Regrettably, however, I was singularly unable to secure a sheep’s head for luncheon, or, for that matter, any laudanum, so for the time being I’ve been concentrating on revisiting my youth in the seventies. So far today whilst writing this I have consumed some flumps, half a dozen flying saucers, a sherbert dib-dab, 20 chocolate fags, what I can only describe as a clump of orange pips and some popping space candy, with strawberry angel delight for afters. I’ve also had a jaffa cake, for the vitamins. I am now hyperactive... Anyway, back to this issue and is it just me or does anyone else think there are too many festivals these days? Back in my day it was Glastonbury and/or Reading, and that was it - now It seems any large tent with an amp and a stoned crusty inside is billed as a festival. Luckily, we have the antidote to half-arsed-ness, and indeed the way forward, festival-wise, in the shape of a preview of this years eminently sophisticated Latititude do, wherein, by happy coincidence we’re pleased to usher in a welcome return for friend of Deep and polymathic wizard Bill Bailey, amongst other luminaries. To be fair I’m feeling a bit polymathic myself this month - one minute I’m attempting to describe the wonder of floating pubs, then I’m at a comedy do, and the next I’m a bloody book-club literary critic (it is national year of reading, after all) - oh yes, I’m like the Richard and Judy of Croydon rolled into one - a bit of a lush and a bit of a knob. It is All Go. Right, that’s it, the Hoobs are on (hurrah!) and it’s officially time to leave it for another month. The sheer amount of sugar I’ve consumed in the last hour or so means that there are now little swimmy spots in front of my eyes and I feel the need to go and clean the sink or something, I can’t stay sat down any longer, that’s for sure. Hmm, I may need to go and find some laudanum after all. Where can you find a 16th century pharmacist when you need one? Anyway, take care, people, TTFN, allons-y and indeed avanti, see you next month when I will be a year older and yet strangely none the wiser... Angela xx Your Bonsai Editor 1

July 2008 Issue Sixty One

Contact Us: editor: angela ferrara tel: 07910 506197 / 020 8680 3558 e: angela@deep-london.co.uk staff & contributors: mystic mike, auntie may, lazy-boy advertising sales: call the Editor on 07910 506197 or e-mail angela@deep-london.co.uk printed by: PPS publishing & graphic design: deep-london web design: neil williams, info@nojwilliams.net web hosting: europahost, 94 southbridge road, south croydon, CR0 1AF, tel: 0845 644 1484. www.europahost.net random thanks: moo-ma, moo-pa, marie; jamie, simon p, dawn, nick, simon, gary, steve, geoff, ferg,

Happy Birthday: Bonsai Ed, Stewart, ‘Tash, Caroline, Steph, Pete.

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JULY 2008 THIS MONTHS FEATURES:

4 8

48 14

Kevin Bishop

Latitude Festival

Auntie May

Comedy-week

Book reviews

iMMa

The Chap Olympics

News-Hound

Month in pictures

Boris the Hamster

Stars

54 56

LISTINGS: Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s On Guide

Pubs, clubs, bars

Restaurants

Cabs, Hotels

Music

Cinema / Theatre

Adult

Star Story Ahead of his new show, Deep catches up with Star Stories’ Kevin Bishop...

evin Bishop is something of a rarity in showbusiness – a former child star who has not only found success as an adult, but has yet to show up in rehab, join a religious cult, or have a breakdown. Though at 27, there's still plenty of time. Meanwhile, the former star of Muppet Treasure Island is returning this month with a six episode run of ‘The Kevin Bishop Show’ the pilot of which was originally screened as a pilot as part of C4’s Comedy Showcase series in 200 and, apocryphally, making such an impact that Channel 4 commissioned the entire series before the that one had hit the airwaves. Probably best known as one of the shining lights of the fantastic and awardwinning ‘Star Stories’, the show that takes a dramatic, irreverent look at the lives of some of the world's biggest celebrities, Bishop has also appeared in the aforementioned Muppet Treasure Island, as Jim Hawkins, in Grange Hill, Pie in the Sky, Love Soup, My Family, Peep Show and Spoons. He also played the title role in the 2002 television pantomime, Dick Whittington, as well as the lead role in the 2002 film, Food of Love, and the 2004 film, Suzie Gold, starring Summer Phoenix. In 2005 he played comedian Dudley Moore on stage in ‘Pete and Dud: Come Again’, a drama charting Moore's turbulent relationship with Peter Cook, which debuted at the Assembly Rooms as part of the Edinburgh Fringe before transferring to The Venue in London's West End in March 2006, and in which he was just brilliant, by the way. And he’s also a bit saucy, we reckon. His new show carries on from the pilot, in which he and his co-writers managed to cram in a massive 42 sketches in 23 minutes, including the one that sticks in most peoples’ minds ‘28 gays later’. Genius. The series, according to Channel 4, is ‘playing to Kevin’s strengths as a comedy actor and superb mimic, this is a show that takes great pleasure in spoofing at breakneck speed the world of TV, film and popular culture. Each of the six episodes will offer a rollercoaster of 4

over 40 sketches in a bid to make light of all that is called ‘celebrity’. Highlights will include ‘Prison Break with Amy & Blake’, ‘Carry On… Hand Luggage’, as well as ‘The Nursery Rhyme Crime Squad’ who are looking for Little Red Riding Hood and are keen to look at Mr Wolf’s computer hard drive. If you missed it at the time, check out the pilot on youtube, it’s great. So, ahead of all this, Deep catches up with Mr B to talk Star Stories, acting with Hear'Say, getting a bad case of the giggles, and why his cheques keep getting sent to the wrong person. You've been acting since you were really young. When did you start? ‘My first professional job was when I

was 11, and it was The Sound of Music in Sadler's Wells. It was an open audition, and I remember thousands of kids there, and I remember towards the end of the day thinking "this must be over soon" and someone turned me around and introduced me to a reporter from Newsround. And from then I got an agent, and I suppose I've never really looked back.’ You also played Dick Whittington a few years ago in a big TV panto, with everyone from Paul Merton to Harry Hill to Richard Wilson. That must have been fun? ‘I remember thinking before the job, when I saw the cast list, "This is going to be a laugh-a-minute," because there

‘I remember seeing Star Stories and thinking it was very good, and the cast were so brilliant and fearless, I liked that approach. I was pissing myself laughing all the way through filming anyway...’

were so many brilliant comedians involved. But it wasn't at all. It was quite boring, actually. They were all far too serious, and they took themselves very seriously.’ But you were also appearing with Hear'Say. It doesn't get any better than that, surely? ‘Absolutely. Actually, they were very nice. But at the time we weren't really allowed to talk to them, because they were Hear'Say, and they were the stars of the show. They were kept very separate to us, because they were too big to be introduced to us. It's bizarre to think of now. I remember one of them was ill, and it was all hush-hush in case the papers found out.’ Are you aware that according to the BBC comedy guide, you have produced and directed some of Jim Davidson's finest work? ‘Yes, that's true, Jim and I go back a long way! No, there is a Kevin Bishop at the BBC who's a bit old school, a big-time producer there. He does the Royal Variety Show and French and Saunders and Jim Davidson, but it's weird, because on the internet quite often it will have my filmography and then it will go on to outline 'my' work as a director. Every now and again he gets one of my cheques, but I never get one of his, sadly. I think his probably outweigh mine by about ten to one.’ For the uninitiated, explain the concept that was Star Stories. ‘Well, it's our take on the life stories of celebrities. Stories that we already know, but we just re-tell the. It's a bit like extended versions of the Rock Profiles that Matt Lucas and David Walliams used to do, but a bit darker. ‘It's not like an impressions show – we normally don't sound anything like the people we're playing. In the whole series, we play about 130-150 different celebrity characters, and I think only about three of them are ever spot-on impersonations. It's much sillier than that.’ The first series won a British Comedy Award, and you were nominated for a couple of individual awards. Did you have any idea the show was going to be such a hit? ‘I remember seeing the show and thinking it was very good, and thinking the other cast members were so brilliant and fearless, I liked that approach. I was pissing myself laughing all the way through filming anyway, so I thought it was funny. I couldn't stop laughing, which I thought might be an indication that it was working. So I was quietly confident. But despite being an industry hit, it didn't get very big audience figures.’

It looks great fun to film. ‘It is, it's such good fun. For the last series, we filmed four episodes in four weeks. That is a very tight schedule. And there are just certain actors that I just cannot be in scenes with, because I cannot keep myself together. And because the schedule was so tight, and we were up against it, we'd get to ten to seven and still need to film two scenes, so the pressure would really be on. And I'd be the one who would ruin it by laughing. And the more the pressure's on, the harder it is to keep it together. It's not just me, I suppose – everyone does it. We just had a brilliant time. And it's also fun because when you're playing so many different roles, as we all do, it keeps it fresh, it's a lot of fun. You're coming in every day

‘Hear’Say were kept very separate to us, because they were too big to be introduced to us. It’s bizarre to think of now...’ and playing someone completely different.’ Who did you really enjoy playing? ‘I really don't know. I enjoyed playing Robbie Williams for the last series, and Justin Timberlake was fun. Simon Cowell is another one. Last time I think my favourite was George Michael, and Michael Douglas as well.’ Have you ever met anyone you've portrayed? ‘No, fortunately I haven't!’ Do you ever get any feedback as to what the celebrities featured thought about the films? ‘You get bits of feedback, but you never know if it's true or not. We heard that one star was furious, and I heard that one woman had been thinking about suing, but that's it. I think most of them can probably laugh at themselves.’ You mentioned legal issues. Do you have to be very aware of that side of things when you're filming? ‘Yeah, it's a very complex process. We're not allowed to say anything about anyone that isn't true. It can be quite tricky. Sometimes we've had to change lines even when the filming is all finished, and we go back to the recording studio and put one line over another line. But it's very well looked after by the lawyers. The only reason I reckon we've not been sued is because actually we've not said 6

anything that technically we can't.’ In the Take That and Robbie episode, Harry Enfield guest starred as Elvis Costello. How did that come about? ‘I went to dinner with Harry and Paul Whitehouse, and they were talking about how much they liked Star Stories. And I was a huge fan of the two of them – all of my comedy is based on their style of comedy, that's what I grew up on. And so when it turned out they loved the show, I told the producer, who then cunningly went and got Harry a part in the show. They were both supposed to do it, but apparently Paul couldn't, because he had other arrangements.’ Is there anyone you'd ideally like to play in a future Star Story? ‘I made a suggestion the other day. I played Cliff Richard in an episode, and when I put his teeth in, I looked uncannily like Freddie Mercury. I'd like to have a go at playing him as well. I think we could have a lot of fun with that.’ So there we go then, and given that we haven’t seen the new show yet, we can only go by how much we enjoyed both Star Stories and the pilot, and if it’s half as good as those, then we’re in for an hugely enjoybale six weeks of ridiculously quick-fire comedy at it’s best. Bring it on... The Kevin Bishop Show starts on Channel 4 in July.

...or, postcards from the edge of Southwold, where some of the top performers at this year’s marvellous Latitude Festival are hovering to answer the big questions of the day. Take it away, ladies and gentlemen....

atitude, according to the Oxford English Dictionary means, apart from the obvious, ‘scope for freedom of action or thought.’ which is pretty much spot on when describing the titular festival, and probably why they chose it in the first place. Presenting itself as ‘more than just a music festival’ Latitude is more like the fests on the continent and unique within the British festie pantheon with equal billing given to music, comedy, poetry, lierature, theatre, film, cabaret and whatnot. plus a children’s arena and ‘the woods’ where you can find hidden late night parties. It’s all a bit more, well, grown-up and sophisticated. It’s also, if you believe the Independent on Sunday, something all the other festivals should aspire to be, with it’s ringing endorsement of ‘One day, all festivals will be like this’. Personally, I agree - I want more for my money than five stages of indie bands these days, and a bit of culture never hurt anyone, unless you’re allergic to penicillin, which I am, but that’s another story. Anyway, why take my word for it when we have five of this year’s performers from across the various stages here to tell you why you should join them for four days of fun on the Suffolk Sunrise Coast. For your delectation we present comedian, polymath and friend of Deep Bill Bailey (www.billbailey.co.uk), Julian Cope (www.headheritage.co.uk), Nick Cave’s new project Grinderman (www.grinderman.com), Mike Gayle (author, freelance journalist, agony uncle and patron of the National Year of Reading - www.mikegayle.co.uk),

poet and ‘alternative laureate’ Luke Wright (co-host of this year’s poetry arena - www.lukewright.co.uk) and upcoming singer/songwriter and floaty soulful Sunrise arena-ist Tallulah Rendell. Right, now the introductions are out of the way, let’s hear what they have to say... Julian Cope (Uncut Arena); 1) Who are you most looking forward

of instruments, including 2 Mellotrons and several marching drums plus the strangest percussion rack this side of a Harry Partch composition. There will be epic amplifiers and extremely pretty guitars, plus anecdotes and strange tales. Also, I shall be playing both old and new material at the festival.’ 4) If you weren't doing this what would you be doing? ‘I'd be researching for my next book,

‘I love the mix of stuff, the great bands and the fact there is a Poetry Arena... Good vibes all round...’ Bill Bailey to seeing at this year's Latitude festival across the Arenas (Obelisk, Uncut, Comedy, Theatre, Literary and Poetry, Film & Music) and why? ‘I don't go to festivals to see anyone in particular. For myself, what makes a festival great is not who you saw but who you missed, as it is evidence that there was so much going on you could not hope to take it all in.’ 2) What aspect of Latitude Festival interests you the most and why? ‘The name of the festival is its most essential aspect, for its title sums up everything about living here in these islands. We are lucky to be in a geographical location where food is guaranteed through our highly temperate climate, and where there is some kind of balance between the sexes.’ 3) What can people expect you to bring to the festival and do you have anything special planned? ‘People can expect a beautiful array

which is a study of the Ancient Law.’ 5) What is your favourite colour Sheep? ‘I'm interested only in the black sheep...’ Bill Bailey (Comedy Arena) 1) Who are you most looking forward to seeing at this year's Latitude festival across the Arenas and why? ‘Elbow, Sigur Ros, Interpol, Phil Jupitus doing Porky the Poet, Mark Lamarr doing God's Jukebox, Rich Hall, John Hegley. Elbow, because they are wonderful, Sigur Ros ‘cos I love the grandness, the huge sounds, the slow build. Interpol ‘cos they continue the spirit of guitar indie punk that I grew up on. Phil is doing poetry again, which is great, what he did before anything - his first love, Mark is playing records what he loves, and Rich Hall is doing Otis, but also just stand-up - we've toured together, and it's always good to hear what he has to say. John Hegley

pix: clockwise from top right: bill bailey, mike gayle, julian cope, luke wright, grinderman, tallulah rendell 8

is performing - he was an early inspiration. 2) What aspect of Latitude Festival interests you the most and why? ‘I love the mix of stuff, the great bands, and the fact there is a Poetry Arena... Good vibes all round...’ 3) What can people expect you to

guess that what I'm asking you is to back a horse that's good for glue and nothing else."’ 2) What aspect of Latitude Festival interests you the most and why? ‘That when you get bored of music there's poetry when you get bored of poetry there's cabaret when you get

‘The name of the festival is its most essential aspect, for its title sums up everything about living here in these islands...’ Julian Cope bring to the festival and do you have anything special planned? ‘I will bring my Bouzouki-Saz Hybrid and I will act on the impulse of the crowd.’ 4) If you weren't doing this what would you be doing? ‘Holding up shells to my ear.’ 5)What is your favourite colour Sheep? ‘Blue.’ Mike Gayle (Literary Arena) 1) Who are you most looking forward to seeing at this year's Latitude festival across the Arenas and why? ‘Elbow because they sing the line: "I

bored of comedy there's Literature!’ 3) What can people expect you to bring to the festival and do you have anything special planned? ‘The first public reading of my first foray into non-fiction!’ 4) If you weren't doing this what would you be doing? ‘Sitting at home wishing I was there. Southwold is an amazing part of the country.’ 5) What is your favourite colour Sheep? ‘Red. Is there any other?’

Grinderman (Obelisk Arena) 1) Who are you most looking forward to seeing at this year's Latitude festival across the Arenas and why? ‘Grinderman happen to be playing the same day as Interpol, whom I know from NY. Good band: I remember when they used to play tiny Manhattan clubs like Brownies, way back when. I haven't seen them perform in a long time and I'm really looking forward to seeing them again most of all. It will also be nice to hook up with The Breeders; The Bad Seeds spent an entire summer touring the US with them on the 1994 Lollapalooza.’ 2) What aspect of Latitude Festival interests you the most and why? ‘The audience: they seem more easygoing and relaxed than most festival crowds. Not frazzled, like they've been engaged in trench warfare for days, rather than enjoying themselves in the outdoors. latitude seems to attract an interesting diversity of types and ages too.’ 3) What can people expect you to bring to the festival? ‘A pink suit and a sturdy umbrella.’ ...and do you have anything special planned? ‘Eating ice cream in the sunshine in a

sheep meadow -- my idea of a good time. Maybe see what's happening down at the Bimble Inn??’ 4) If you weren't doing this what would you be doing? ‘I can't imagine a more pleasurable way to pass a summer's day.’ 5) What is your favourite colour Sheep? ‘Pink, of course -- to match both my suit and drum kit.’ Luke Wright (Poetry Arena) 1) Who are you most looking forward to seeing at this year's Latitude festival across the Arenas and why? ‘Stewart Lee is always a treat, so I'm hoping to catch him in the comedy arena. I've also never seen Blondie so I'm looking forward to that. As programmer and host of the Poetry Arena I'll be spending a lot of time there and I'm really looking forward to Carol Ann Duffy, Adrian Mitchell and my fellow compere Tim Clare, who is always tip-top.’ 2) What aspect of Latitude Festival interests you the most and why? ‘I love the fact that it's as much about poetry and the other art forms as it is about music. I love the fact that a

punter might come along to see a band like Franz Ferdinand and end up spending four hours in the Poetry Arena. The number of people who have contacted me saying that Latitude was their first introduction to live poetry is huge and they keep coming back.’ 3) What can people expect you to bring to the festival and do you have anything special planned? ‘I'll be compering for about eight hours a day in the Poetry Arena. I have a stack of new poems planned and the late night Aisle16 & Friends sessions are always a shambolic joy.’ 4) If you weren't doing this what would you be doing? ‘Going on holiday. But who needs sun loungers and trashy fiction anyway?’ 5) What is your favourite colour Sheep? ‘Pink!’ Tallulah Rendall 1) Who are you most looking forward to seeing at this year's Latitude festival across the Arenas and why? ‘The Mars Volta - their records are brilliant and I have never seen them

play.’ 2) What aspect of Latitude Festival interests you the most and why? ‘Exploring it all... giggling to Bill Bailey, listening to Nick Torday, wiggling my ass with the Laundretta chicks and finding a boat.’ 3) What can people expect you to bring to the festival and do you have anything special planned? ‘Butterflies... Yes’ 4) If you weren't doing this what would you be doing? ‘Buying a ticket, taking a guitar and Jo´s cello and playing in the wood... and the railway station... and anywhere else that would have me/us.’ 5) What is your favourite colour Sheep? ‘A white one.’ Latitude Festival, Thurs 17th-Sun 20th July 2008, Henham Park, Southwold, Sunrise Coast, Suffolk.

The Agony Septuagenarian agony aunt cum rock mutton Auntie May goes a-gadding about town...

ello again my dears. The months are flying by so fast (they get faster the older you get, believe me) and many of you I know are planning trips to festivals and foreign parts (no, not a cambelt for a Toyota). Not that I’m planning any of that myself, I’m all for leaving the mud and portaloos for those better adapted to field trips and besides, I spent most of my monthly gig allowance on a ticket to see the Foo Fighters. (By the way, did you know that if you type Dave Grohl into predictive text you get, rather appropriately, Dave Groin). But travelling about is practically all I’ve done this month. As I said, Edith and I popped up to Wembley to see the magnificent Foo Fighters. Armed with the knowledge that we would have our bottle lids confiscated at the venue, we came up with the masterplan of

concealing spare caps about our person, so we went in looking as if we’d been standing in a chilly breeze. All to no avail though as they confiscated our bottles and made us pour our drinks into wobbly plastic cups, although I think the security men were rather impressed by our shapely physique. Edith was delighted with the music in between the bands – all her favourite tracks were played one after the other – Enter Sandman, Woman and even Hocus Pocus (although it stopped short of the yodelling bit which Edith unfortunately omitted to notice). The only song missing was the Montrose Avenue classic Put Yer Tongue In. Due to previous earplug malfunction incidents, Edith had gone for the ‘roaddigger’ look with yellow ear defenders and we were extremely glad of these when using the hand-dryers in

the toilets as they had the unfortunate effect of rendering the user completely deaf for several minutes after each use. The Foo Fighters (now big enough to have their own range of carrier bags) were amazing, although despite having blagged corporate seats nearest to the stage, we still fought like wildcats over the binoculars. Many of you will be aware of my legendary skills on the triangle and I was over the moon that the Foos actually featured a triangle solo by Drew ‘I taught him all he knows’ Hester (you can watch it on YouTube), during which Edith and I air-triangled and headbanged simultaneously. Anyway, despite loving the Foos I really hate Wembley – it’s just too big. I’m much happier soaking up the

atmosphere of a small venue any day. I managed to spend a more than reasonable amount of time travelling when I tried to do the simple task of getting to Soho to see Rollin’ Thunder on one of their rare visits ‘down south’. Due to the sudden and inexplicable closure of the Victoria line I had to resort to navigating round London by bus and arrived 3 hours late, although thankfully the band had only just gone on stage when I got there. Still, it cut short my ‘Ligging with Lynan’ time considerably as I then had to leave straight away to get home. Come back down again boys,

and I’ll have another go. I took the opportunity to catch Godsized (below, left) away from my home turf when they played at The Peel in Kingston (well, Norbiton actually). The journey from Croydon was surprisingly easy by train, with a bit of a walk at the other end, and Godsized were, well Godsized as usual. Judging by the comments from the crowd they picked up a good few new fans and were easily the best band on that night. Anyway, don’t let it be said we haven’t got our finger on the pulse in Croydon. Up-and-coming band Heaven’s

Basement (below, right) are booked to play the Brief on Saturday 26th July, fresh from their slot supporting none other than Bon Jovi! Manchester Stadium one month, the Brief the next. Anyway, I’m staying in Croydon for the time being – looking forward to the Battle of the Bands at the Ship from the 21st and Punkstock at Walkabout on 13th July. Hmmm… I’m sure I’ve got my old bondage trousers in the loft somewhere. Keep up to date at www.myspace.com/auntiemay99 or I’ll see you at the bar.

The sun is out (touch wood) so why not make the most of it by having a good old laugh in lovely Holland Park..?

oming to London’s beautiful Holland Park this summer…five hamper-sized evenings of top flight comedy as 25 of the world’s most talented comedians take over one of London’s best-loved parks for a week of open-air hilarity, picnics and conviviality. Produced by Festival Republic, Pimm’s Summerfest - A Week of Laughter runs from August 27 to 31 and boasts a cracking line-up that includes Jo Brand, Russell Howard; Lucy Porter; Stephen Lynch and Puppetry of the Penis. With many more of the brightest names in comedy still to be announced, this will be one of the summer’s hottest tickets Performances are weather-proof as they will take place in the beautiful and it really is stunning, canopied 1200 seat Holland Park Theatre, an open-sided auditorium located in the heart of the park and surrounded by large grassed areas. The first act will start at 7:30 prompt. Why not get there early and sample some of the delicious food on offer with a glass of Pimm’s and enjoy a picnic in the park before the show starts. Melvin Benn, the Managing Director

of Festival Republic, said about this premier event: “I am really pleased to be able to bring such a unique comedy event to London. The Comedy Arena at Latitude Festival has positively heaved for the past couple of years to the point where I have had to increase its size and put screens outside. It’s wonderful that on the back of that success we can now focus on an event that is just about comedy at the absolutely stunning theatre at Holland Park. Why bother going to Edinburgh when you can enjoy the best in comedy at one of London’s most beautiful parks?” To give you an idea of just some of the people appearing at the festivel, here;s a bit of a rundown, with plenty more acts to be announced over the coming weeks. We’ll keep you updated! Since beginning her career on the London cabaret circuit Jo Brand has gone on to establish herself as one of most successful and popular female comics in the UK. Despite her wealth of television work including her own shows - Jo Brand's Hot Potatoes (BBC1) and Channel 4's Through The Cakehole, Jo prefers performing live and feels that "nothing tops the thrill of the theatre". She Is currently on tour with her new onewoman show, Jo Brand Barely Alive. Russell Howard is one of the country’s most exciting and popular talents, with a solo show nominated for an If.Comeddie award at the 2006 Edinburgh festival. In 2007, he has also performed at the Melbourne Comedy Festival where he was nominated for a Barry Award. Off stage Russell is a regular panelist on Mock the Week (BBC 2). He has also starred in the latest series of BBC1's flagship show Live at the Apollo and as a regular 18

panelist on all three series of BBC Radio 4's Banter. Currently Russell can be heard presenting his Sunday Show on BBC6 Music. Lucy Porter has starred in TV shows including BBC1's The Stand Up Show, C5's Comedy Store and BBC2's Broken News. She’s garnered rave reviews starring alongside Christian Slater in the critically acclaimed, box-office recordbreaking run of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest in Edinburgh and London's West End. On radio she can be heard regularly on the hit Radio 2 show 'Parsons and Naylor's Pull-out Sections', where she delivers a winning mixture of topical and observational stand-up. US singing comic Stephen Lynch made his big break on Comedy Central when his special became one of the highest rated for the channel. He went on to record two albums ("Superhero" and "The Craig Machine") and a performance DVD ("Live at the El Rey"). He has toured with Lewis Black and Mitch Hedberg and recently played the title role in the Broadway production of "The Wedding Singer," for which he received a Tony Nomination, a Drama League nomination and a Drama Desk nomination. Puppetry of the Penis was created by Simon Morley, who teamed up with fellow puppeteer David Friend. Their first show at the 1998 Melbourne International Comedy Festival was received as the "Outright Best Show". Since then it has performed at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival for 8 consecutive years, consistently selling out the prestigious Debating Hall at the Gilded Balloon. As of today most of the Western World has played host to this most bizarre evening out. PIMM’S SUMMERFEST – A WEEK OF LAUGHTER Holland Park Theatre Holland Park. Kensington High Street London W8 6LU Tickets £22.50 plus booking fees. Performance times: 7:30 prompt C/Card line 0871 231 0821 Or online at www.festivalrepublic.com, www.seetickets.com

Stockists: CENTRAL CROYDON: • Bar Red Square • Bar Se7en • Beanos Records • Bedford Tavern • Beer Circus • Black Sheep Bar • Brief • Bull’s Head • Clocktower (Tourist Info) • Dog & Bull • Eagle • Fairfield Halls • Goose on the Market • Gun Tavern • Green Dragon • Loop • Milan Bar • Mojama • Natterjacks (St George’s Walk) • Royal Standard • Ship • Spreadeagle • Steelpoint Tattoo • Strictly UK (Tramms) • Surrey Cricketers • Tiger Tiger • Timebomb Clothing (St George’s Walk) • Walkabout • Yates’s Wine Lodge EAST CROYDON: • Alma Tavern • Builders Arms • Glamorgan • Orchard • Oval • Porter & Sorter • Tramlink Info Centre • Warehouse Theatre WEST CROYDON: • Bird in Hand • Bodyworks Whitehorse Rd • Davys Wine Bar • Oakfield Tavern • Old Derby

Listings Index:

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(Pitlake) • Sun • Windmill SOUTH END & SOUTH CROYDON: • Bar R • Croham Arms • Crown & Pepper • Crown & Sceptre • Duke’s Head • E Bar • Earl of Eldon • Edge • Folly • Jalalis • Kays Off Licence • LA Fitness (Royal Oak) • La Spezia Deli (Old Pharmacy - Swan & Sugarloaf) • Laithwaite’s Wines (opp. Windsor Castle) • Peking Tasty • Purley Arms • Rail View • Red Deer • Sackville Gallery • Scream Studios • Stag & Hounds • Sth Croydon BR • Swan & Sugarloaf • Treehouse • Royal Oak • Rupali • Ruskin House • Unwins (Swan & Sugarloaf) • Wheelwrights Arms • Windsor Castle • Woodman • Zizzi PURLEY: • Baan Thai • Brass Monkey • Coffee Bay Sandwich Bar (by Purley BR) • Elliott’s • Jolly Farmers • Las Fuentes • Rectory • Purley BR

• Purley Oaks BR • Station Cars (Purley BR) • Bombay Blue PURLEY WAY: • Gipsy Moth • Premier Travel Inn Hotel KENLEY: • Kenley BR • Kenley Arms SANDERST’D: • Sanderstead BR • Stones Hair Salon • Wine Cellar SHIRLEY: • Cricketers • Crown • Sandrock • Shirley Inn • Surprise Inn • Vinyl Resting Place FORESTDALE: • Forestdale Arms • McDermott’s Fish Restaurant WARLINGHAM: • Greenacres Sports Club WHYTELEAFE: • Whyteleafe Tavern SELHURST: • Pepperton UK • Two Brewers THORNTON HEATH: • The Lord Napier WOODSIDE GREEN: • Beehive

What’s on? full weekly and daily guide

Directory: pubs, clubs, bars

restaurants

cabs etc

hotels

All our information was correct at the time of going to press, but as the only certainty in life is change, we suggest you check before heading out. The opinions and reviews which follow are those of the Editor and staff - if you have an issue to raise about them, please ring us, rather than the venue.

ARE YOU... In a band? A DJ? Running an event? In an establishment we’ve missed? Just dying to tell us something? Then let us know! Standard what’s on listings are FREE! Deadline for inclusion in August issue 22 July 2008 e-mail: angela@deeplondon.co.uk

what’s on Every Day: • Exhibition: Jack The Ripper and the East End Until 2 November 2008 The first exhibition to explore the Jack the Ripper murders and their legacy. From police files and photographs to letters from the public and the supposed Ripper himself, examine, for the first time, surviving documents and artefacts from the investigation and follow the crimes as they unfolded. Adults: £7, Children £5 (not recommended for kids under 12) Booking: 0844 980 2151 Museum in Docklands, West India Quay, London, E14 4AL www.museumindocklands.org.uk/ jacktheripper • Film: 4th Annual Spanish Film Festival 6 - 20 June 2008 The fourth edition of the London Spanish Film Festival. Again this year, the festival offers a selection of the best contemporary Spanish cinema, including many of the titles that triumphed this year or last at Spain’s top festivals - the Goyas (La soledad, Las 13 rosas, Bajo las estrellas) and the Malaga Spanish Film Festival (Amigos de Jesús, El menor de los males) - and several encounters with actors, writers and directors. This year’s festival has a special focus on the work of emerging directors. Also included are several examples of what some have identified as a ‘new wave’ in contemporary Spanish cinema – low-key, low-budget indie films dealing with contemporary themes .Two special previews open and close the festival: thrillers King of the Hill and Fermat’s Room. The retrospective strand is this year dedicated to the late great Spanish actor, director, scriptwriter, novelist and playwright Fernando Fernán Gómez, who died last November. For the first time this year, the festival includes an evening of silent film with piano accompaniment. Cine Lumiere, 17 Queensbury Place, London, SW7 2DT www.londonspanishfilmfestival.com

Every Monday: • Market: Surrey Street London’s oldest continuously running market since 1276, with fruit and veg, bits and pieces, meat and fish, hot food,

Something to do every night of the week, Yay! all sorts. Monday - Saturday. Surrey Street, Croydon www.surreystreetmarket.com • Music: Free Your Voice World a capella singing drop-in. Beginners 6.30pm, intermediate 7.45pm. Workshop rooms at The Clocktower, Katharine Street. For more details phone Cate on 020 8683 4737 or e-mail catherine@naturalvoice.net. • Music: Folk and Blues Club From 8pm. Prices vary depending on artist. Call Brian on 0208 698 5322 for further info. Licensed bar. Ruskin House,Coombe Road, CRO. • Music: Big Beer Band The 8 million Big Beer Band musicians have shifted their weekly residency to the Brief. From 9pm ish TheBrief, George Street, Croyodn • Club: Manic Mondays 241 on Reef, VK, Carling, Becks. Free entry before 11pm. 8pm-1am. Reflex, 7-9 Park St, CR0. 020 8774 5911 • Games: Free Pool Every Monday at The Alma. The Alma Tavern 129 Lower Addiscombe Rd, CR0, 020 8654 5842 • Club: Members’ Night Half price drinks ‘til midnight for those registered with our new membership system. Featuring DJ set from The Katie and Alex Show. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Lifestyle: Croydon Life Club Every Monday 7.30-9.00pm £15.00 per workshop (Concessions given) Croydon Life Club, St Mildred’s Centre Bingham Road, Addiscombe, CR0 7EB More info visit: www.lifeclubs.co.uk • Dance: Ballroom & Latin American Ballroom and latin American classes with stars from BB1 show “Strictly Come Dancing” Fairfield Halls Croydon on Monday evenings for all abilities. 8 week course. Booking essential. Telephone 07944 931130, www.karenhardystudios.com

Every Tuesday: • Market: Surrey Street London’s oldest continuously running market since 1276, with fruit and veg, 21

bits and pieces, meat and fish, hot food, all sorts. Monday - Saturday. Surrey Street, Croydon www.surreystreetmarket.com • Fitness: Yoga Classes Every Tuesday from 7.30pm-9pm. £5 a class for 6 sessions. Beginners welcome. 140 Brighton Road, Purley. 0208 763 2629 • Club: Now That’s What I Call Tuesdays 241 on Reef, VK, Carling, Becks. Free entry before 11pm. 8pm-1am. Reflex, 7-9 Park St, CR0. 020 8774 5911 • Dance: Belly Dancing Come and join the fun every Tuesday. Classes are for women only and suitable for all ages, sizes and levels of ability. Make sure you wear comfortable clothing and bring a scarf to tie around your hips to really get you in the mood! Open level - suitable for all 6pm7.15pm In depth class - suitable for experienced dancers only: 7.30pm8.45pm. £7 per class. Call Charlotte Desorgher on 01342 850423 The Green Room, Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG. Box Office: 020 8688 9291 www.fairfield.co.uk • Dance: Ceroc Learn to Ceroc every Tuesday in the Arnhem Gallery. Ceroc is an exciting and stylish modern partner dance which can be performed to all types of music. It’s very easy to pick up, no special clothes are required and you don’t need to bring a partner as we make sure everyone mixes together. Beginners: 8pm; Intermediate: 9pm Freestyle: 9.30pm-11pm Membership £2, Admission £6 For further info tel: 020 8466 5030 or visit: www.cerockent.com Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG. Box Office: 020 8688 9291 www.fairfield.co.uk • Quiz: The Builders Arms General knowledge quiz, always well supported, from 9pm. The Builders Arms • Quiz: Bar R Fiendishly difficult Pop Quiz. Kicks off around 8.30pm. Bar R, 73 South End, CR0. 020 8667 1308. • Quiz: The Sandrock

what’s on Music/general knowledge quiz from 8.30pm every Tuesday. The Sandrock, Upper Shirley Rd, Shirley, CR0. 020 8662 1931. • Quiz: The Crown From 8.30pm The Crown, 28 Wickham Road, Shirley, 020 8662 7801 • Quiz: Dog and Bull from 9ish. The Dog and Bull, Surrey Street, Croydon • Club: Beautiful People Beautiful people is on every Tuesday night. This long running alternative night continues to leap ahead having been ahead of the pack in the past playing nu-metal and screamo we are now moving into playing a majority of emo. Our recent celebrity visitors have included My Chemical Romance (we were first UK club to play them) and Alkaline trio alongside them we championed Fallout Boy and Panic at the Disco. Resident DJ Zoe Urchin also blends in ska (Mad Caddies to Specials to Desmond Dekker) and punk ( Undertones to Afi to Green day to Minor Threat) some new school rock (Trivium to Queens of stone age) and a pinch of hip hop and dance (Pendulum to Kano). Drinks deals are an unbeatable £2 for Jack daniels and coke, £1.50 for house spirits and two bottled beers for £3 11pm-3am. £3 flyer/conc before midnight £5 after or otherwise all night theres a full listing, downlaodable flyer, photo gallery , Djs picks and links to our my space page www.wolfshead.co.uk Metro, Basement 19 Oxford Street London W1, www.wolfshead.co.uk • Club: Common People The best indie night in your life! EVER! £1 entry before 10pm, £2 after, £1 drinks till 11pm! Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Every Wednesday: • Market: Surrey Street London’s oldest continuously running market since 1276, with fruit and veg, bits and pieces, meat and fish, hot food, all sorts. Monday - Saturday.

Surrey Street, Croydon www.surreystreetmarket.com • Dance: Salsa Lessons No partner is required and beginners will find a fun and friendly introduction to latin moves. All levels catered for. Lessons start at 8.00pm and cost £6. Club enterance is free. Info : 0208 688 0934 Bar Latino, 48 Park St, CR0. 0208 688 0934. www.barlatino.co.uk • Event: Pool Competition Weekly pool competition. Entrants must register before 7pm on the night, comp starts 7.30. Free buffet for entrants and £30 bar tab for the winner. Green Dragon, 58-60 High St, CR0 1NA. 020 8667 0684 • Karaoke: The Old Derby From 7pm. Old Derby, 44 Pitlake, CRO. 020 8688 5674. • Club: Club Camp GAY night at the sheep with cabaret at 11pm + electro, sleeze and cheese till late from Linton. Doors at 8pm, £5 after 9pm www.blacksheepbar.com/clubcamp. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Every Thursday: • Market: Surrey Street London’s oldest continuously running market since 1276, with fruit and veg, bits and pieces, meat and fish, hot food, all sorts. Monday - Saturday. Surrey Street, Croydon www.surreystreetmarket.com • Music: Live Jazz Every Thursday lunchtime from 12.30pm. FREE! Cafe Opera, Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street, CR0. 020 8253 1030. www.croydon.gov.uk/clocktower • Music: The New Delta Big Band From Ellington to Herman, big band jazz at its best! 8.15pm to 11pm. FREE! Every 1st and 3rd Thursday of the month. The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286 • Music: The Brian Hetherington Jazz Band Listen or jive to the authentic rythyms of New Orleans. 8.30pm-11pm. FREE! Every 2nd and 4th Thursday of the 22

month. The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286 • Music: Open Mic at The Good Companions, Hamsey Green, South Croydon, every Thursday 8.30 p.m. Musicians ( Guitarists or others with any ‘reasonable’ instrument ), Duo’s, Trios, Singers, welcome Tel: 0208 6576655. wwwthegoodcompanions.com The Good Companions, Hamsey Green, South Croydon • Quiz: Red Deer Every Thursday from 9pm. Red Deer, 279 Brighton Rd, CR2. 020 8760 0131 • Club: Xplosive The Wolfshead alternative mafia try a new night at this poular South London bar known up until now for its dance events just around the corner from Brixton tube. Into its plush surroundings will come DJ Zoe Urchin and guests cunningly blendingly together an eclectic romp through the alternative genre featuring indie (Arctics to White Stripes), emo, (My Chemical Romance to Panic at the Dsico), alternative rock ( System of a Down to Green Day), punk (Misfits to Blink 182) ,ska ( Specials to Less than jake)and alternative dance (Pendulum to Kanye). Drinks deals are Jack daniels and coke £2.50, house spirits and mixer £2.00 and 2 selected beers for £3. 10pm- 3am £3 before midnight, £5 after less for students/flyers/members. flyer to download at website www.wolfshead.co.uk Tongue and Groove, 50 Atlantic Road Brixton • Club: Discotek Midweek gay music club with world class music. Two rooms of music every Thursday with 'The Phunked Up Disco' in the lounge and pumping house vibes in the main room. Resident DJs Femi B, Jeffrey Hinton, Luke Hope, Guy Williams, Paul Heron, Tom McMillan, plus international and UK guests. Weekly pre-party @ The Edge and Candy Bar (from 2100) The End, 18 West Central St London WC1A 1JJ. 020 7419 9199 www.endclub.com • Club: Rock Night South London’s biggest and best rock night. Live music every Thursday from

what’s on 8-9.30. FREE before 10pm and most drinks are at happy hour prices till 9pm...what more do you want?! Bands are followed by DJ Tony X. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Dance: Salsa De Cuba with Leo & Co. Classes from 8pm followed by club salsa until 1am. The Norbury Complex, 1300 London Road, Croydon. 020 8679 0632. • Dance: Simply Salsa Learn to dance salsa every Thursday. Beginners welcome. No partner required. Classes from 7.30pm, club til midnight. Admission £7.00 class and club, £3.00 club only. It’s fun and friendly, monthly Sunday’s also!! For further info. simplysalsa@ukonline.co.uk 07957 431216 or 07759 584591 The Treehouse, South End, Croydon • Dance: Clog Dancing Free taster sessions for newcomers to try out some lively N.W. English clog team dances - wear trainers or similar footwear. Musicians with portable acoustic instruments always welcome too. PLEASE CALL BEFORE HEADING OUT, as some Thursdays this night is not on. 8.30 pm. FREE! Call 020 8654 5211/020 8657 4056 (eves.) for details United Reformed Church Hall, corner Enmore/Cobden Road, S. Norwood • Dance: Morris Dancing North Wood Morris Men are teaching Men's Morris to complete beginners on Thursday evenings at the Scout Hut in Purley Park Road at 8.15 pm and newcomers are welcome (first call 020 8668 1830) see www.northwoodmorris.org.uk • Dance: Soca / Calypso Beginners welcome and rum punch served! The Newton Arms, 175 Queens Road, Croydon, 020 8684 7654 • Dance: The South East London Lindy Hop Club Come and learn to dance Lindy Hop (Jitterbug) like they did in the 1940's. No partner required and Caron and Steve specialise in helping those with two left feet get together with those with two right. Doors open 7.30pm Beginners Class 7.45pm Intermediate Class 8.30pm

Freestyle (practice) 9.15pm The Royston Club, 85 Royston Road Penge, London, SE20 7QW www.52ndstreetjump.co.uk • Karaoke: Arkwrights Wheel All together now... Arkwrights Wheel, 151 North End, CR0. 020 8649 8638. • Karaoke: Dukes Head More singing shenanigans. Dukes Head, 14 South End, CR0. 020 8680 9728. • Karaoke: Selhurst Arms Thursday night would appear to be karaoke night bleedin’ everywhere... From 8pm. Selhurst Arms, Selhurst Rd, SE25. • Quiz: Bar R Relaxed, friendly and entertaining general knowledge quiz, every Thursday from 8.30pm, open until 1am. See review in August’s Wired. Bar Rendezvous, 73 South End, CR0. 020 8667 1308. • Quiz: Purley Arms Quiz-a-rama, every Thursday from 8.30pm, £1 in for cash prizes + other goodies. Purley Arms, 345 Brighton Road, South Croydon, 020 8686 3792 • Quiz: Cricketers General knowlegde quiz with £50 prize. The Cricketers, 47 Shirley Rd, CR0 7ER 020 8655 3507 • Music: Boulevard Live music while you eat. Boulevard, 7-8 Ruskin Parade, Selsdon Road, South Croydon. 020 8649 9990. • Music: Open Mic Quiz Night at The Good Companions 8.00 p.m. ww.thegoodcompanions.com Limpsfield Road, South Croydon 0208 657 6655 • Club: Roller Disco 8pm-12am. £10 inc skate hire. Classic disco, funky house and r’n’b over three rooms, on wheels. Call before setting out to make sure it’s on! Canvas, Bagley’s Studios, King’s Cross Freight Depot, York Way, London N1 OUZ. 020 7833 8301. www.rollerdisco.info • Quiz: The Valley - NEW! From 9.00pm Mike K’s general knowledge quiz The Valley, 76 Croydon Road, Caterham

Every Friday: • Market: Surrey Street London’s oldest continuously running market since 1276, with fruit and veg, 23

bits and pieces, meat and fish, hot food, all sorts. Monday - Saturday. Surrey Street, Croydon www.surreystreetmarket.com • Market: Indoor Flea Market bric-a-brac, food, lace, jewellery, all sorts + cafe serving sandwiches, rolls, tea etc. 8am-2pm. St Peters Church Hall, Ledbury Road, South Croydon. www.croyfleamart.50megs.com • Market: Indoor Market clothes, cards, bric-a-brac, toys, jewellery + a cafe serving teas, coffee, rolls, sandwiches etc. 7.30am-12 noon. Kenley Memorial Hall , Godstone Road, Kenley (between shops & police station) Bus route 407. For further info call 020 8668 1648 • Photography: Camera Club Camera Club meeting in West Croydon every Friday night welcomes visitors and new members. Full programme of events including print/slide talks, portrait evenings, competitions, etc. Ample parking. Contact Colin on 020 8665 1678. Visit www.thorntonheathcameraclub.co.uk • Club: E-Bar 8pm-2am. The E-Bar, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN • Club: DJ Night - NEW Every Friday. Pistols, Brighton Road, Coulsdon • Club: Indie-pendance South Londons biggest and best indie night every Friday. Resident DJ Zoe Urchin (Club X, Alien-nation) plays eclectic guitar driven grooves comprising the godfathers of indie (Oasis, Stone Roses, Radiohead), new school indie (Kaisers, Kasabian and Bloc party) and retro (Ramones to Beach Boys). Drinks promos and the usual friendly sheepers. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. www.blacksheepbar.com 020 8680 2233. • Club: Upstairs DJ's including Louis from Choice FM. Drink promotion from 9pm - 11pm with all house spirits £2. The only club in Croydon licensed until 3am. Entry £3 before 11pm and £5 after. Free entry to diners of the restaurant. Guest list and venue hire available, please contact 020 8688 9837 for details. www.treehousepeople.com Upstairs, above Treehouse restaurant 78 South End, CR0 020 8688 9837

what’s on • Music: DJ Party Night The Newton Arms, 175 Queens Road, Croydon, 020 8684 7654 • Karaoke: Karaoke Madness Singalong fun with Jerry Baker & Co in the bar from 9pm. The Norbury, The Norbury Complex, 1300 London Road, Croydon. 020 8679 0632. • Club: Club Zone following on from Karaoke Madness is Club Zone @ The Edge Nightclub playing club & party classics with guest DJs, open til 3am. The Edge Nightclub, The Norbury Complex, 1300 London Road, Croydon. 020 8679 0632. • Club: Dj Steve Mapp in the main room Dj Mark B in Surfers All Drinks £1.50 5pm to 9pm Dress code: Smart casual. Walkabout, Crown Hill, Croydon • Disco: Twinkle-Toes Music from the 50s to present with DJ Twinkle-Toes. 5pm-close.. Old Derby, 44 Pitlake, CRO. 020 8688 5674. • Karaoke: Forestdale Arms Featherbed Lane, CR0. 020 8651 1260. • Karaoke: Swan & Sugarloaf Swan and Sugarloaf, 1 Brighton Rd, CR0. 020 8686 2562 • Karaoke: The Norbury From 9pm. The Norbury Complex, 1300 London Road, Croydon. 020 8679 0632. • Music: Alma Tavern Live music. Alma Tavern, 129 Lwr Addiscombe Rd, CR0. 020 8654 5842. • Music: Oakfield Tavern Live music every Friday Oakfield Tavern, 166 St James’ Rd, CR0. 020 8684 1743. • Music: Jolly Farmers Live music every Friday Jolly Farmers, 7 High Street, Purley (on Purley Cross) 020 8660 2076 • Singles: Swan & Sugarloaf Over 30 single’s night in the function room. Swan and Sugarloaf, 1 Brighton Rd, CR0. 020 8686 2562 • Music: Mama K’s Blues Bar Mama K's blues bar, run by local blues/rock musicians, open jam from 8 pm, full backline provided. Main band 10pm. Licensed bar. £2 entry. Ruskin House,Coombe Road, CRO. 020 8661 0183 • Club: Roller Disco 7pm-3am. £12.50 inc skate hire. Classic disco, funky house and r’n’b over three

rooms, on wheels. Call before setting out to make sure it’s on! Canvas, Bagley’s Studios, King’s Cross Freight Depot, York Way, London N1 OUZ. 020 7833 8301. www.rollerdisco.info

Every Saturday: • Market: Surrey Street London’s oldest continuously running market since 1276, with fruit and veg, bits and pieces, meat and fish, hot food, all sorts. Monday - Saturday. Surrey Street, Croydon www.surreystreetmarket.com • Dance: Bollywood Groove & Bhangra Funky and energetic dance class. Beginners and improvers welcome. Come along and bring your friends. From 12.30pm – 1.30pm. £5 a class. Free parking available. Ground Floor, Dance & Drama Studio Archbishop Lanfranc, Croydon, Surrey, CR9 3AS. Tel: 020 8776 1717 or 07932 530 370 • Games: Pool Competition From 3pm. Old Derby, 44 Pitlake, CR0. 020 8688 5674. • Games: Pool / Domino Tournaments in the afternoon - call for more details. The Newton Arms, 175 Queens Road, Croydon, 020 8684 7654 • Music: DJ Party Night The Newton Arms, 175 Queens Road, Croydon, 020 8684 7654 • Music: Jolly Farmers Live music every Saturday Jolly Farmers, 7 High Street, Purley (on Purley Cross) 020 8660 2076 • Disco: 70’s & 80’s. Swan and Sugarloaf, 1 Brighton Rd, CR0. 020 8686 2562 • Club: Saturday Night With Linton and Friends A plethora of musical carnage from the beast of butch and his followers… Dance floor fillers, cheese and sleaze. Open til stupid-o’clock in the morning. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Club: The Big Double Classic hits in the bar from 9pm followed by guest acts and DJs at The Edge, open til 3am. The Norbury & The 24

Edge Nightclub. The Norbury Complex, 1300 London Road, Croydon. 020 8679 0632

• Club: Dj Andy B in the main room & Dj Randy T in surfers All drinks £1.50 7pm to 9pm Dress code: Smart casual. Walkabout, Crown Hill, Croydon • Club: Upstairs See ‘Every Friday’ for full details. Upstairs, above Treehouse restaurant 78 South End, CR0, 020 8688 9837 • Karaoke: Oakfield Tavern Oakfield Tavern, 166 St James Rd, CR0 2UZ. 020 8684 1743 • Music: Live Music - NEW Every Saturday. Pistols, Brighton Road, Coulsdon

Every Sunday: • Music: Sunday Sessions The best in alternative dance and live music every Sunday: 1st Sunday of the month is red room open mic night www.myspace.com/the_room_of_red 2nd Sunday is bangers (the only hip hop night in croydon) the following Sundays are a mixture of bands and djs (check out the listings for more details) Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: Jam Night All singers and musicians welcome. From 6pm. FREE! The Royal Oak, Royal Oak Centre, Brighton Road, South Croydon, www.theroyaloak.piczo.com • Music: Easy Jazz From 1.30 p.m. to about 4 Come along and listen, or play Tel: 0208 6602076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk The Jolly Farmers, on ‘Purley Cross’, Purley • Music: Open Mic Acoustic ‘ Open Mike’ night at The Jolly Farmers, Purley, every Sunday 8.45 p.m. Tel: 0208 6602076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk The Jolly Farmers, on ‘Purley Cross’, Purley

what’s on • Quiz: Good Companions Quiz Night at The Good Companions 8.00 p.m. www.thegoodcompanions.com Limpsfield Road, South Croydon 0208 657 6655 • Music: Open Mic All welcome! The Newton Arms, 175 Queens Road, Croydon, 020 8684 7654 • Disco: Twinkle-Toes DJ Twinkle-Toes plays out your requests. 12pm-7pm. Old Derby, 44 Pitlake, CRO. 020 8688 5674. • Karaoke: Karaoke Madness With Jacko and Co + DJ in the bar til 1am. The Norbury Complex, 1300 London Road, Croydon. 020 8679 0632 • Club: Medusa RnB, Latino House, Soulful Garage. See Thursdays for DJ Lineup. Strictly over 21s. Dress Code ‘Ladies - Sexy, Men - Smart’. 9pm-12am. FREE before 10.30, £5 after. 3 The Arcade, 32-34 High St, CR0. 020 8686 3367. www.medusa.co.uk • Club: Disco Gold Until 1am. FREE! before 10pm. The Edge Nightclub. The Norbury Complex, 1300 London Road, Croydon. 020 8679 0632 • Club: Croydon Backgammon Club Sundays from 8PM. Ruskin House, Coombe Road, Croydon • Quiz: Forestdale Arms Weekly music quiz. Forestdale Arms, Featherbed Lane, CR0. 020 8651 1260 • Quiz: The Crown From 8.30pm The Crown, 28 Wickham Road, Shirley, 020 8662 7801 • Karaoke: When Will I Be Famous Karaoke at the 80’s bar. 241 on Bud, Carling, VK, Reef. 8pm-12.30am. Reflex, 7-9 Park St, CR0 020 8774 5911 • Music: Folk and Blues Club From 7pm. £2 entry. Licensed bar. Call Gary for further info on 01737 553493 Ruskin House, Coombe Road, CRO • Quiz: The Rail View Every Sunday from 8.30pm. The Rail View 188 Selsdon Rd, CR2 020 8688 2315 • Quiz: The Kenley Hotel From 9.00pm Mike K’s general knowledge quiz The Kenley Hotel, 68, Godstone Road, Kenley CR8 5AA

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on • Music: Live New Orleans Jazz Every Sunday 12.30 - 2.30pm at The Lord Napier Jazz Pub. Entry £2, dance floor, raffle, great atmosphere at one of the longest running Jazz Pubs in Great Britain The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286

Got something going on? Let us know - what’s on listings are FREE! e-mail: angela@deeplondon.co.uk

Tuesday 01 July • Event: Wallop! Marvellous mixology from Anna and Ross, at The Oval Cocktail night every 1st and 3rd Tuesday of the month. The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023 www.myspace.com/ovaltavern • Quiz: The Dog and Bull From 9pm-ish, a quiz, a game of play your cards right and a sing-song. Mental. 50p in including sarnies. See article, April issue. The Dog and Bull, Surrey Street, Croydon • Club: Common People The best indie night in your life! EVER! With The SPIV DJ’s. £1 entry before 10pm, £2 after, £1 sourz, £1.25 spirit and mixer, £1.50 (selected pints) till 11pm! myspace.com/commonpeoplesheep Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Games: Poker Night Every Tuesday Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ

what’s on

Please mention Wired when visiting venues...

Pick Of The Month www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Club: Croydon Summer Festival 12th July We are delighted to get connected with the Stereo MCs who will be headlining the Main Stage with one of the best live performances on the music scene. Along with Finley Quaye, Joji Hirota & Taiko Drums, Balkan Beats, and African

tribal music, there will be non stop music on the Acoustic, Dance and Community Stages. Massive slinkies doing their ‘Big Mob’ show will ensure an unforgettable day.. FREE! 1:00pm - 8:00pm, Lloyd Park,Coombe Road, CR0 1BR Nearest Tram: Lloyd Park

Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Music: Freedom Of Expression presents acoustic acts - tbc. From 8pm. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub

Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Music: Steve Boyce Band Live music at the JollyFarmers. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk

Wed 02

Thu 03

• Music: Dragon’s Ball presents Zag and the Coloured Beads, Keirononononon!. From 8pm. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Gay / Club: Club Camp Gay night at the sheep with cabaret from Dave Lynn + electro and sleeze till late from Linton. Doors at 8pm, £5 after 9pm. www.blacksheepbar.com/clubcamp Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Quiz: The Edge New weekly quiz: gen knowledge / music / sport / missing link / mystery year. £50 bar tab to the winner. 8pm. £1 per person entry The Edge, 1 South End, Croydon • Club: Wednesday Sessions DJ Ruxpin adds a little sparkle to the your midweek, with some uplifting funky vocal house. 7pm-1am. FREE admission. Dress Code: No caps, tracksuits, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers ok. Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ 020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com • Karaoke: Walkabout bottles of Stella £1.50 all night Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill

• Music: Live Blues Act tbc. Check the myspace for details. Bands start 5pm-ish Sundays and 8pm-ish Thursdays. FREE! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023 www.myspace.com/ovaltavern • Club: ALT X South London’s biggest rock night, hosted by Tony X Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: The New Delta Big Band From Ellington to Herman, big band jazz at its best! 8.15pm to 11pm. FREE! Every 1st and 3rd Thursday of the month. The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286 • Club: Hub 101 JOIN US EVERY THURSDAY FOR THE CLASSIEST VENUE IN CROYDON, YOU DONT HAVE TO BE A STUDENT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF STUDENT PRICES. DRINKS PRICES ALL NIGHT DOUBLE VODKA REDBULL £2.50 241 ON SELECTED COCKTAILS, BOTTLED BEERS FROM £2.50. BOTTLE HOUSE WINE £8 Hub, 80-88 High Street, Croydon 02086805500 www.hubcroydon.com

• Quiz: Two Brewers Fun general knowledge quiz. From 9pm. Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road, Croydon, 020 8684 3544 • Quiz: JF Big Quiz From 8pm. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Quiz: Crown and Sceptre Fun general knowledge quiz. Every Thursday from 9pm. Crown and Sceptre, 32 Junction Road, South Croydon, 020 8688 8037 • Quiz: Bar R Barry’s big gen knowledge quiz. From 8ish. Bar R, 73 South End, Croydon 020 8667 1308 • Quiz: Celebrity Pub Quiz with celebrity comedian / actor quizmaster 9pm £2 EDComedy at The Hob The Hobgoblin, 7 Devonshire Rd Forest Hill SE23, www.edcomedy.com • Club: Student Night Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Club: Retro Every Thursday night Loop kicks the weekend off early with DJ Ruxpin and his inimitable blend of soulful and funky house, mixed up with some classics from yesteryear. Don't forget about our unbeatable drink offers. The best happy hours in Croydon. Wannabee DJs: Thursdays are also an opportunity for wannabe DJs to showcase their talents. If this sounds like you please call the office on 020 8760 7000 or send in your CD demo to to our address marked "Retro DJ Showcase". Admission: 7pm until 1am - FREE! Dress Code: No caps, tracksuits, or

• CHARITY: Punkstock with GBH 13 July GBH headline, Drongos for Europe, The Loyalties and Dead Identities play, all in aid of Parkinsons and Cancer Research charities. For more details visit: www.myspace.com/punkstockrocks Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on... hooded tops. Jeans and trainers ok. Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ 020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com

The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk

Fri 04

Sat 05

• Club: WTF Resident DJ Zoe Urchin (Club X, Alien Nation) plays eclectic guitar-driven grooves featuring the godfathers of Indie, New School Indie and Retro. Free entry before 10pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Club: Party NIght (Theme tbc) Full on Fridays every week all drinks £2 from 5pm to midnight Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Club: Release The Pressure DJ Andy Harris hosts a mix of the best party anthems from the 70s, 80s and 90s to the present plus a sprinkling of the hits of today, every Friday 6pm-3am. Admission members £3 / Guests £5 before 11pm more after Dress Code: No caps, tracksuits, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers ok. Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ 020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com • Club: Hub LONG BAR - SOUL FUNK & DISCO BLISS; BAR - DJ HUGGY PRESENTS BUBBLEGUM CLUBBING; SUB - DEEP ELECTRO WITH JC AND JUNIOR J FROM MOJAMAS, BRINGING THE CLASSIEST CUSTOMERS FROM THE NOW CLOSED MOJAMAS. JOIN US FROM 5PM AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF OUR HAPPY HOUR PRICES TILL LATE. FREE B410.30PM AND £5 AFTER FOR GUESTLIST BOOTHBOOKINGS AND PARTIES CALL NIKKI ON 02086805500 Hub, 80-88 High Street, Croydon 02086805500 www.hubcroydon.com • Music: DJ Benny Many Hats indie, classics and ska - downstairs. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: The 3 Masons Live music at the JollyFarmers.

what’s on Croydon 020 8667 1472 www.myspace.com/guntavern • Music: The Jugglers Live music at the JollyFarmers. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Club: Hub JOIN US FOR SATURDAY WHERE ONLY THE BEST DJS, PERCUSSIONISTS & SOUND SYSTEMS WILL ENSURE A PACKED HOUSE OF SOPHISTICATED GLAMOUR PUSSES.LONG BAR- JOIN RESIDENT DJS FROM MOJAMA, JC AND JUNIOR JACK PROVING THAT ITS THE MUSIC THAT REALLY COUNTS BAR - RESIDENT LAURENCE NELSON, DEVIOUS DAVE & JASON FEIST TAKE IT IN TURNS TO SEX UP SATURDAY NIGHT WITH CLUB ANTHEMS AND HOUSE. JOIN US FROM 8PM AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF OUR HAPPY HOUR PRICES TILL LATE. FREE B410.30PM AND £5 AFTER FOR GUEST LIST BOOTH BOOKINGS AND PARTIES CALL NIKKI ON 02086805500 Hub, 80-88 High Street, Croydon 02086805500 www.hubcroydon.com • Gay: London Pride

what’s on

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on... 5th July One of the world’s most colourful parades that takes in streets that are known the world-over. The theme this year is Fairytales, Myths and Legends so you can expect to see a colourful procession of beaus and beauty, princes and prancers, debutantes and dancers.s www.pridelondon.org • Club: DJ Rob Delta playing a gargantuan mix of 60s + 70s soul, blues, rock, funk, jazz, latin, psychedelia, reggae & ska every 1st Saturday of the month. 8pm. FREE! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023 www.myspace.com/ovaltavern

Sun 06 • Music: Live New Orleans Jazz Every Sunday 12.30 - 2.30pm at The Lord Napier Jazz Pub. Entry £2, dance floor, raffle, great atmosphere at one of the longest running Jazz Pubs in Great Britain The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286 • Music: Brandon Allan Band Live jazz every Sunday 12-3.30pm. FREE! www.jazznet.co.uk The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Live Blues Act tbc. Check the myspace for details. Bands start 5pm-ish Sundays and 8pm-ish Thursdays. FREE! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023 www.myspace.com/ovaltavern • Quiz: Two Brewers Fun general knowledge quiz. From 9pm. Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road, Croydon, 020 8684 3544 • Club: Cloud 9 Forget chilling out - Sunday night is uplifting funky house party night... 9pm-1am. FREE admission. Dress Code: No caps, tracksuits, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers ok. Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ 020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com • Music: Acoustic Open Mic Night All singers and musicians welcome. From 8.45pm. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Club: Sunday Service

Sunday night is party night at the Ship with the Right Reverends Jon and Geoff playing an eclectic mix of music to help you dance the night away. Fancy dress optional, dancing on the bar and tables actively encouraged. The odd conga round the pub not unknown. 7.30pm til close. FREE! The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD, 0208 6882810, www.myspace.com/theshipofcroydon • Comedy: Comedy Club Every Sunday from 8pm. FREE! The Milan Bar, Grants Complex, 14-32 High Street, Croydon, 020 8603 0870 • Music: Open Mic Night With DJ Richie Timebomb. Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Club: Sunday Jam One-off open mic jam extravaganza, hosted by Saddam Whitesnake. Doors 7pm, free entry before 10pm, mail steph@blacksheepbar.co.uk for booking! Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. ww.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Mon 07 • Music: Croydon Jazz Band Big band jazz - 1st Monday of every month Botley Hill Farmhouse, Limpsfield Road, Warlingham Surrey, CR6 9QH. Phone: 01959 577154 email: enquiries@botleyhillfarmhouse.co.uk • Music: The Big Beer Band Every Monday from 9ish. FREE! The Brief, George Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/thebriefcroydon • Club: Members Night 50% discount until midnight - see web or ask in the bar for more details. With music from the katie & alex show Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: Croydon Folk and Blues Club From 8pm. See web for details. Croydon Folk And Blues Club, Cedar Room, Ruskin House, Coombe Road, Croydon, www.croydonfolksongclub.org.uk 28

Tue 08 • Quiz: The Dog and Bull From 9pm-ish, a quiz, a game of play your cards right and a sing-song. Mental. 50p in including sarnies. See article, April issue. The Dog and Bull, Surrey Street, Croydon • Club: Common People The best indie night in your life! EVER! With The SPIV DJ’s. £1 entry before 10pm, £2 after, £1 sourz, £1.25 spirit and mixer, £1.50 (selected pints) till 11pm! myspace.com/commonpeoplesheep Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. ww.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Games: Poker Night Every Tuesday Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Music: Folk Night Every 2nd Tuesday of the month - all welcome! Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road, Croydon, 020 8684 3544 • Music: Freedom Of Expression presents acoustic acts - tbc. From 8pm. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Blues Open Mic Every 2nd and 4th Tuesday of the month. The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023. www.myspace.com/ovaltavern

Wed 09 • Gay / Club: Club Camp Gay night at the sheep with electro and sleeze till late from Linton. Doors at 8pm, £5 after 9pm. www.blacksheepbar.com/clubcamp Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Quiz: The Edge New weekly quiz: gen knowledge / music / sport / missing link / mystery year. £50 bar tab to the winner. 8pm. £1 per person entry The Edge, 1 South End, Croydon • Club: Wednesday Sessions

what’s on

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on... DJ Ruxpin adds a little sparkle to the your midweek, with some uplifting funky vocal house. 7pm-1am. FREE admission. Dress Code: No caps, tracksuits, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers ok. Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ 020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com • Karaoke: Walkabout bottles of Stella £1.50 all night Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com

Thu 10 • Music: Live Blues Act tbc. Check the myspace for details. Bands start 5pm-ish Sundays and 8pm-ish Thursdays. FREE! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023 www.myspace.com/ovaltavern • Club: ALT X South London’s biggest rock night, hosted by Tony X Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: The Brian Hetherington Jazz Band Listen or jive to the authentic rythyms of New Orleans. 8.30pm-11pm. FREE! Every 2nd and 4th Thursday of the month. The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286 • Club: Hub 101 JOIN US EVERY THURSDAY FOR THE CLASSIEST VENUE IN CROYDON, YOU DONT HAVE TO BE A STUDENT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF STUDENT PRICES. DRINKS PRICES ALL NIGHT DOUBLE VODKA REDBULL £2.50 241 ON SELECTED COCKTAILS, BOTTLED BEERS FROM £2.50. BOTTLE HOUSE WINE £8 Hub, 80-88 High Street, Croydon 02086805500 www.hubcroydon.com • Quiz: Two Brewers Fun general knowledge quiz. From 9pm. Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road, Croydon, 020 8684 3544 • Quiz: JF Big Quiz From 8pm. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley

Wannabee DJs: Thursdays are also an opportunity for wannabe DJs to showcase their talents. If this sounds like you please call the office on 020 8760 7000 or send in your CD demo to to our address marked "Retro DJ Showcase". Admission: 7pm until 1am - FREE! Dress Code: No caps, tracksuits, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers ok. Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ 020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com

Fri 11 • Club: WTF Resident DJ Zoe Urchin (Club X, Alien Nation) plays eclectic guitar-driven grooves featuring the godfathers of Indie, New School Indie and Retro. Free entry before 10pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Club: Party NIght (Theme tbc) Full on Fridays every week all drinks £2 from 5pm to midnight Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon

what’s on

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on... www.walkabout.eu.com • Music: Rik Martin Live music at the JollyFarmers. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Club: Release The Pressure DJ Andy Harris hosts a mix of the best party anthems from the 70s, 80s and 90s to the present plus a sprinkling of the hits of today, every Friday 6pm-3am. Admission members £3 / Guests £5 before 11pm more after Dress Code: No caps, tracksuits, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers ok. Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ 020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com • Club: Hub LONG BAR - SOUL FUNK & DISCO BLISS; BAR - DJ HUGGY PRESENTS BUBBLEGUM CLUBBING; SUB - DEEP ELECTRO WITH JC AND JUNIOR J FROM MOJAMAS, BRINGING THE CLASSIEST CUSTOMERS FROM THE NOW CLOSED MOJAMAS. JOIN US FROM 5PM AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF OUR HAPPY HOUR PRICES TILL LATE. FREE B410.30PM AND £5 AFTER FOR GUESTLIST BOOTHBOOKINGS AND PARTIES CALL NIKKI ON 02086805500 Hub, 80-88 High Street, Croydon 02086805500 www.hubcroydon.com • Music: DJ Benny Many Hats indie, classics and ska - downstairs. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub

Sat 12 • Club: DJ Linton Dance Bombs. Funk Rockets. Beat Seeking Missiles. Never Outgunned. DJ LINTON serves up the biggest dancefloor monsters. Doors 7pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: DJs Heavy Mellow Jazz, funk and more from Djs Heavy Mellow. Downstairs. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Act tbc Live music at the Walkabout

Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Music: Live Rock Bands tbc Every Saturday night. The Gun Tavern, 83 Church Street, Croydon 020 8667 1472 www.myspace.com/guntavern • Music: Michael Boyd Group Live music at the JollyFarmers. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Club: Hub JOIN US FOR SATURDAY WHERE ONLY THE BEST DJS, PERCUSSIONISTS & SOUND SYSTEMS WILL ENSURE A PACKED HOUSE OF SOPHISTICATED GLAMOUR PUSSES.LONG BAR- JOIN RESIDENT DJS FROM MOJAMA, JC AND JUNIOR JACK PROVING THAT ITS THE MUSIC THAT REALLY COUNTS BAR - RESIDENT LAURENCE NELSON, DEVIOUS DAVE & JASON FEIST TAKE IT IN TURNS TO SEX UP SATURDAY NIGHT WITH CLUB ANTHEMS AND HOUSE. JOIN US FROM 8PM AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF OUR HAPPY HOUR PRICES TILL LATE. FREE B410.30PM AND £5 AFTER FOR GUEST LIST BOOTH BOOKINGS AND PARTIES CALL NIKKI ON 02086805500 Hub, 80-88 High Street, Croydon 02086805500 www.hubcroydon.com • Club: Croydon Summer Festival We are delighted to get connected with the Stereo MCs who will be headlining the Main Stage with one of the best live performances on the music scene. Along with Finley Quaye, Joji Hirota & Taiko Drums, Balkan Beats, and African tribal music, there will be non stop music on the Acoustic, Dance and Community Stages. Massive slinkies doing their ‘Big Mob’ show will ensure an unforgettable day.. FREE! 1:00pm - 8:00pm, Lloyd Park,Coombe Road, CR0 1BR Nearest Tram: Lloyd Park • Club: Croydon Festival After Party with DJs and a BBQ depending on the weather. The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023 www.myspace.com/ovaltavern 30

• Event: Chap Olympics See article, this issue.

Sun 13 • Music: Live New Orleans Jazz Every Sunday 12.30 - 2.30pm at The Lord Napier Jazz Pub. Entry £2, dance floor, raffle, great atmosphere at one of the longest running Jazz Pubs in Great Britain The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286 • Music: Live Blues Act tbc. Check the myspace for details. Bands start 5pm-ish Sundays and 8pm-ish Thursdays. FREE! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023 www.myspace.com/ovaltavern • Music: Live Jazz - act tbc Live jazz - 12-3.30pm every Sunday. FREE! www.jazznet.co.uk The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Club: Bangers live hip hop Hosted by Oliver Sudden (Joint Effort), DJS Blue Movies (Joint Effort) + Al Mighty. Open Mic! Get up and rap £2 entry all night Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. ww.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Club: Sunday Service Sunday night is party night at the Ship with the Right Reverends Jon and Geoff playing an eclectic mix of music to help you dance the night away. Fancy dress optional, dancing on the bar and tables actively encouraged. The odd conga round the pub not unknown. 7.30pm til close. FREE! The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD, 0208 6882810, www.myspace.com/theshipofcroydon • Music: Acoustic Open Mic Night All singers and musicians welcome. From 8.45pm. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Quiz: Two Brewers Fun general knowledge quiz. From 9pm. Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road, Croydon, 020 8684 3544 • Club: Cloud 9 Forget chilling out - Sunday night is uplifting funky house party night...

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on... 9pm-1am. FREE admission. Dress Code: No caps, tracksuits, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers ok. Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ 020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com • Comedy: Comedy Club Every Sunday from 8pm. FREE! The Milan Bar, Grants Complex, 14-32 High Street, Croydon, 020 8603 0870 • CHARITY: Punkstock with GBH 13 July GBH headline, Drongos for Europe, The Loyalties and Dead Identities play, all in aid of Parkinsons and Cancer Research charities. For more details visit: www.myspace.com/punkstockrocks Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com

• Club: Common People The best indie night in your life! EVER! With The SPIV DJ’s. £1 entry before 10pm, £2 after, £1 sourz, £1.25 spirit and mixer, £1.50 (selected pints) till 11pm! myspace.com/commonpeoplesheep Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. ww.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Games: Poker Night Every Tuesday

Mon 14 • Music: The Big Beer Band Every Monday from 9ish. FREE! The Brief, George Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/thebriefcroydon • Club: Members Night 50% discount until midnight - see web or ask in the bar for more details. With music from the katie & alex show Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: Croydon Folk and Blues Club From 8pm. See web for details. Croydon Folk And Blues Club, Cedar Room, Ruskin House, Coombe Road, Croydon, www.croydonfolksongclub.org.uk

Tue 15 • Event: Wallop! Marvellous mixology from Anna and Ross, at The Oval Cocktail night every 1st and 3rd Tuesday of the month. The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023 www.myspace.com/ovaltavern • Quiz: The Dog and Bull From 9pm-ish, a quiz, a game of play your cards right and a sing-song. Mental. 50p in including sarnies. See article, April issue. The Dog and Bull, Surrey Street, Croydon 31

what’s on Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Music: Freedom Of Expression presents acoustic acts - tbc. From 8pm. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub

what’s on

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on...

Wed 16 • Gay / Club: Club Camp Gay night at the sheep with electro and sleeze till late from Linton. Doors at 8pm, £5 after 9pm. www.blacksheepbar.com/clubcamp Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Quiz: The Edge New weekly quiz: gen knowledge / music / sport / missing link / mystery year. £50 bar tab to the winner. 8pm. £1 per person entry The Edge, 1 South End, Croydon • Club: Wednesday Sessions DJ Ruxpin adds a little sparkle to the your midweek, with some uplifting funky vocal house. 7pm-1am. FREE admission. Dress Code: No caps, tracksuits, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers ok. Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ 020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com • Karaoke: Walkabout bottles of Stella £1.50 all night Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com

Thu 17 • Music: Live Blues Act tbc. Check the myspace for details. Bands start 5pm-ish Sundays and 8pm-ish Thursdays. FREE! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023 www.myspace.com/ovaltavern • Club: ALT X South London’s biggest rock night, hosted by Tony X Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: The New Delta Big Band From Ellington to Herman, big band jazz at its best! 8.15pm to 11pm. FREE! Every 1st and 3rd Thursday of the month. The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286 • Club: Hub 101 JOIN US EVERY THURSDAY FOR THE CLASSIEST VENUE IN CROYDON, YOU DONT HAVE TO BE A STUDENT TO

TAKE ADVANTAGE OF STUDENT PRICES. DRINKS PRICES ALL NIGHT DOUBLE VODKA REDBULL £2.50 241 ON SELECTED COCKTAILS, BOTTLED BEERS FROM £2.50. BOTTLE HOUSE WINE £8 Hub, 80-88 High Street, Croydon 02086805500 www.hubcroydon.com • Quiz: Two Brewers Fun general knowledge quiz. From 9pm. Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road, Croydon, 020 8684 3544 • Quiz: JF Big Quiz From 8pm. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Quiz: Crown and Sceptre Fun general knowledge quiz. Every Thursday from 9pm. Crown and Sceptre, 32 Junction Road, South Croydon, 020 8688 8037 • Quiz: Bar R Barry’s big gen knowledge quiz. From 8ish. Bar R, 73 South End, Croydon 020 8667 1308 • Quiz: Celebrity Pub Quiz with celebrity comedian / actor quizmaster 9pm £2 EDComedy at The Hob The Hobgoblin, 7 Devonshire Rd Forest Hill SE23, www.edcomedy.com • Club: Student Night Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Club: Retro Every Thursday night Loop kicks the weekend off early with DJ Ruxpin and his inimitable blend of soulful and funky house, mixed up with some classics from yesteryear. Don't forget about our unbeatable drink offers. The best happy hours in Croydon. Wannabee DJs: Thursdays are also an opportunity for wannabe DJs to showcase their talents. If this sounds like you please call the office on 020 8760 7000 or send in your CD demo to to our address marked "Retro DJ Showcase". Admission: 7pm until 1am - FREE! Dress Code: No caps, tracksuits, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers ok. Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ 020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com • Festival: Latitude Festival See article, this issue. 32

Fri 18 • Club: WTF Resident DJ Zoe Urchin (Club X, Alien Nation) plays eclectic guitar-driven grooves featuring the godfathers of Indie, New School Indie and Retro. Free entry before 10pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Club: Party NIght (Theme tbc) Full on Fridays every week all drinks £2 from 5pm to midnight Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Club: Release The Pressure DJ Andy Harris hosts a mix of the best party anthems from the 70s, 80s and 90s to the present plus a sprinkling of the hits of today, every Friday 6pm-3am. Admission members £3 / Guests £5 before 11pm more after Dress Code: No caps, tracksuits, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers ok. Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ 020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com • Club: Hub LONG BAR - SOUL FUNK & DISCO BLISS; BAR - DJ HUGGY PRESENTS BUBBLEGUM CLUBBING; SUB - DEEP ELECTRO WITH JC AND JUNIOR J FROM MOJAMAS, BRINGING THE CLASSIEST CUSTOMERS FROM THE NOW CLOSED MOJAMAS. JOIN US FROM 5PM AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF OUR HAPPY HOUR PRICES TILL LATE. FREE B410.30PM AND £5 AFTER FOR GUESTLIST BOOTHBOOKINGS AND PARTIES CALL NIKKI ON 02086805500 Hub, 80-88 High Street, Croydon 02086805500 www.hubcroydon.com • Music: DJ Benny Many Hats indie, classics and ska - downstairs. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: The Neil Mac Band Live music at the JollyFarmers. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Festival: Latitude Festival See article, this issue.

what’s on

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on...

Sat 19 • Club: DJ Linton Dance Bombs. Funk Rockets. Beat Seeking Missiles. Never Outgunned. DJ LINTON serves up the biggest dancefloor monsters. Doors 7pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: DJs Heavy Mellow Jazz, funk and more from Djs Heavy Mellow. Downstairs. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Act tbc Live music at the Walkabout Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Music: Live Rock Bands tbc Every Saturday night. The Gun Tavern, 83 Church Street, Croydon 020 8667 1472 www.myspace.com/guntavern • Club: Hub JOIN US FOR SATURDAY WHERE ONLY THE BEST DJS, PERCUSSIONISTS & SOUND SYSTEMS WILL ENSURE A PACKED HOUSE OF SOPHISTICATED GLAMOUR PUSSES.LONG BAR- JOIN RESIDENT DJS FROM MOJAMA, JC AND JUNIOR JACK PROVING THAT ITS THE MUSIC THAT REALLY COUNTS BAR - RESIDENT LAURENCE NELSON, DEVIOUS DAVE & JASON FEIST TAKE IT IN TURNS TO SEX UP SATURDAY NIGHT WITH CLUB ANTHEMS AND HOUSE. JOIN US FROM 8PM AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF OUR HAPPY HOUR PRICES TILL LATE. FREE B410.30PM AND £5 AFTER FOR GUEST LIST BOOTH BOOKINGS AND PARTIES CALL NIKKI ON 02086805500 Hub, 80-88 High Street, Croydon 02086805500 www.hubcroydon.com • Festival: Latitude Festival See article, this issue.

Sun 20 • Music: Live New Orleans Jazz Every Sunday 12.30 - 2.30pm at The Lord Napier Jazz Pub. Entry £2, dance floor, raffle, great atmosphere at one of

the longest running Jazz Pubs in Great Britain The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286 • Music: Live Blues Act tbc. Check the myspace for details. Bands start 5pm-ish Sundays and 8pm-ish Thursdays. FREE! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023 www.myspace.com/ovaltavern • Music: Live Jazz - act tbc Live jazz - 12-3.30pm every Sunday. FREE! www.jazznet.co.uk The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Quiz: Two Brewers Fun general knowledge quiz. From 9pm. Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road, Croydon, 020 8684 3544 • Club: Rock’n’Roll Dance Night lhosted by Red Dress Productions. Dress up for a night of authentic rock and roll dancing, dance classes 8-9pm, doors 7pm, £6.50 entry. Mail info@reddress.co.uk for more details. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. ww.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Club: Sunday Service Sunday night is party night at the Ship with the Right Reverends Jon and Geoff playing an eclectic mix of music to help you dance the night away. Fancy dress optional, dancing on the bar and tables actively encouraged. The odd conga round the pub not unknown. 7.30pm til close. FREE! The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD, 0208 6882810, www.myspace.com/theshipofcroydon • Music: Acoustic Open Mic Night All singers and musicians welcome. From 8.45pm. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Club: Cloud 9 Forget chilling out - Sunday night is uplifting funky house party night... 9pm-1am. FREE admission. Dress Code: No caps, tracksuits, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers ok. Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ 020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com • Comedy: Comedy Club Every Sunday from 8pm. FREE! The Milan Bar, Grants Complex, 14-32 High Street, Croydon, 020 8603 0870 33

• Festival: Latitude Festival See article, this issue.

Mon 21 • Event: The Editor’s Birthday Another year older. Gifts gratefully accepted... • Music: Battle Of The Bands Another musical bun-fight down the ship! The Ship, High Street, Croydon www.myspacce.com/theshipofcroydon • Music: The Big Beer Band Every Monday from 9ish. FREE! The Brief, George Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/thebriefcroydon • Club: Members Night 50% discount until midnight - see web or ask in the bar for more details. With music from the katie & alex show Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: Croydon Folk and Blues Club From 8pm. See web for details. Croydon Folk And Blues Club, Cedar Room, Ruskin House, Coombe Road, Croydon, www.croydonfolksongclub.org.uk

Tue 22 • Quiz: The Dog and Bull From 9pm-ish, a quiz, a game of play your cards right and a sing-song. Mental. 50p in including sarnies. See article, April issue. The Dog and Bull, Surrey Street, Croydon • Club: Common People The best indie night in your life! EVER! With The SPIV DJ’s. £1 entry before 10pm, £2 after, £1 sourz, £1.25 spirit and mixer, £1.50 (selected pints) till 11pm! myspace.com/commonpeoplesheep Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. ww.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Games: Poker Night Every Tuesday Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Music: Freedom Of Expression

what’s on

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on... presents acoustic acts - tbc. From 8pm. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Blues Open Mic Every 2nd and 4th Tuesday of the month. The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023. www.myspace.com/ovaltavern

Wed 23 • Gay / Club: Club Camp Gay night at the sheep with electro and sleeze till late from Linton. Doors at 8pm, £5 after 9pm. www.blacksheepbar.com/clubcamp Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Quiz: The Edge New weekly quiz: gen knowledge / music / sport / missing link / mystery year. £50 bar tab to the winner. 8pm. £1 per person entry The Edge, 1 South End, Croydon • Club: Wednesday Sessions DJ Ruxpin adds a little sparkle to the your midweek, with some uplifting funky vocal house. 7pm-1am. FREE admission. Dress Code: No caps, tracksuits, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers ok. Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ 020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com • Karaoke: Walkabout bottles of Stella £1.50 all night Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Music: Samuel James Live music at the JollyFarmers. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk

Thu 24 • Music: Live Blues Act tbc. Check the myspace for details. Bands start 5pm-ish Sundays and 8pm-ish Thursdays. FREE! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023 www.myspace.com/ovaltavern

• Club: ALT X South London’s biggest rock night, hosted by Tony X Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: The Brian Hetherington Jazz Band Listen or jive to the authentic rythyms of New Orleans. 8.30pm-11pm. FREE! Every 2nd and 4th Thursday of the month. The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286 • Club: Hub 101 JOIN US EVERY THURSDAY FOR THE CLASSIEST VENUE IN CROYDON, YOU DONT HAVE TO BE A STUDENT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF STUDENT PRICES. DRINKS PRICES ALL NIGHT DOUBLE VODKA REDBULL £2.50 241 ON SELECTED COCKTAILS, BOTTLED BEERS FROM £2.50. BOTTLE HOUSE WINE £8 Hub, 80-88 High Street, Croydon 02086805500 www.hubcroydon.com • Quiz: Two Brewers Fun general knowledge quiz. From 9pm. Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road, Croydon, 020 8684 3544 • Quiz: JF Big Quiz From 8pm. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Quiz: Crown and Sceptre Fun general knowledge quiz. Every Thursday from 9pm. Crown and Sceptre, 32 Junction Road, South Croydon, 020 8688 8037 • Quiz: Bar R Barry’s big gen knowledge quiz. From 8ish. Bar R, 73 South End, Croydon 020 8667 1308 • Quiz: Celebrity Pub Quiz with celebrity comedian / actor quizmaster 9pm £2 EDComedy at The Hob The Hobgoblin, 7 Devonshire Rd Forest Hill SE23, www.edcomedy.com • Club: Student Night Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Club: Retro Every Thursday night Loop kicks the 34

weekend off early with DJ Ruxpin and his inimitable blend of soulful and funky house, mixed up with some classics from yesteryear. Don't forget about our unbeatable drink offers. The best happy hours in Croydon. Wannabee DJs: Thursdays are also an opportunity for wannabe DJs to showcase their talents. If this sounds like you please call the office on 020 8760 7000 or send in your CD demo to to our address marked "Retro DJ Showcase". Admission: 7pm until 1am - FREE! Dress Code: No caps, tracksuits, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers ok. Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ 020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com

Fri 25 • Club: WTF Resident DJ Zoe Urchin (Club X, Alien Nation) plays eclectic guitar-driven grooves featuring the godfathers of Indie, New School Indie and Retro. Free entry before 10pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Club: Party NIght (Theme tbc) Full on Fridays every week all drinks £2 from 5pm to midnight Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Club: Release The Pressure DJ Andy Harris hosts a mix of the best party anthems from the 70s, 80s and 90s to the present plus a sprinkling of the hits of today, every Friday 6pm-3am. Admission members £3 / Guests £5 before 11pm more after Dress Code: No caps, tracksuits, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers ok. Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ 020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com • Club: Hub LONG BAR - SOUL FUNK & DISCO BLISS; BAR - DJ HUGGY PRESENTS BUBBLEGUM CLUBBING; SUB - DEEP ELECTRO WITH JC AND JUNIOR J FROM MOJAMAS, BRINGING THE CLASSIEST CUSTOMERS FROM THE NOW CLOSED MOJAMAS. JOIN US FROM 5PM AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF OUR HAPPY HOUR PRICES TILL

what’s on

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on... LATE. FREE B410.30PM AND £5 AFTER FOR GUESTLIST BOOTHBOOKINGS AND PARTIES CALL NIKKI ON 02086805500 Hub, 80-88 High Street, Croydon 02086805500 www.hubcroydon.com • Music: DJ Benny Many Hats indie, classics and ska - downstairs. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub

Sat 26 • Club: DJ Linton Dance Bombs. Funk Rockets. Beat Seeking Missiles. Never Outgunned. DJ LINTON serves up the biggest dancefloor monsters. Doors 7pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: DJs Heavy Mellow Jazz, funk and more from Djs Heavy Mellow. Downstairs. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Act tbc Live music at the Walkabout Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Music: Live Rock Bands tbc Every Saturday night. The Gun Tavern, 83 Church Street, Croydon 020 8667 1472 www.myspace.com/guntavern • Club: Hub JOIN US FOR SATURDAY WHERE ONLY THE BEST DJS, PERCUSSIONISTS & SOUND SYSTEMS WILL ENSURE A PACKED HOUSE OF SOPHISTICATED GLAMOUR PUSSES.LONG BAR- JOIN RESIDENT DJS FROM MOJAMA, JC AND JUNIOR JACK PROVING THAT ITS THE MUSIC THAT REALLY COUNTS BAR - RESIDENT LAURENCE NELSON, DEVIOUS DAVE & JASON FEIST TAKE IT IN TURNS TO SEX UP SATURDAY NIGHT WITH CLUB ANTHEMS AND HOUSE. JOIN US FROM 8PM AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF OUR HAPPY HOUR PRICES TILL LATE. FREE B410.30PM AND £5 AFTER FOR GUEST LIST BOOTH BOOKINGS

AND PARTIES CALL NIKKI ON 02086805500 Hub, 80-88 High Street, Croydon 02086805500 www.hubcroydon.com • Music: Brightwhite Live music at the JollyFarmers. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk

Sun 27 • Music: Live New Orleans Jazz Every Sunday 12.30 - 2.30pm at The Lord Napier Jazz Pub. Entry £2, dance floor, raffle, great atmosphere at one of the longest running Jazz Pubs in Great Britain The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286 • Music: Live Blues Act tbc. Check the myspace for details. Bands start 5pm-ish Sundays and 8pm-ish Thursdays. FREE! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023 www.myspace.com/ovaltavern • Music: Live Jazz - act tbc Live jazz - 12-3.30pm every Sunday. FREE! www.jazznet.co.uk The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Club: TBC Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. ww.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: Acoustic Open Mic Night All singers and musicians welcome. From 8.45pm. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Quiz: Two Brewers Fun general knowledge quiz. From 9pm. Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road, Croydon, 020 8684 3544 • Club: Cloud 9 Forget chilling out - Sunday night is uplifting funky house party night... 9pm-1am. FREE admission. Dress Code: No caps, tracksuits, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers ok. Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ 020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com • Comedy: Comedy Club Every Sunday from 8pm. FREE! The Milan Bar, Grants Complex, 14-32 High Street, Croydon, 020 8603 0870 35

• Club: Sunday Service Sunday night is party night at the Ship with the Right Reverends Jon and Geoff playing an eclectic mix of music to help you dance the night away. Fancy dress optional, dancing on the bar and tables actively encouraged. The odd conga round the pub not unknown. 7.30pm til close. FREE! The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD, 0208 6882810, www.myspace.com/theshipofcroydon

Mon 28 • Music: The Big Beer Band Every Monday from 9ish. FREE! The Brief, George Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/thebriefcroydon • Club: Members Night 50% discount until midnight - see web or ask in the bar for more details. With music from the katie & alex show Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: Croydon Folk and Blues Club From 8pm. See web for details. Croydon Folk And Blues Club, Cedar Room, Ruskin House, Coombe Road, Croydon, www.croydonfolksongclub.org.uk

Tue 29 • Quiz: The Dog and Bull From 9pm-ish, a quiz, a game of play your cards right and a sing-song. Mental. 50p in including sarnies. See article, April issue. The Dog and Bull, Surrey Street, Croydon • Club: Common People The best indie night in your life! EVER! With The SPIV DJ’s. £1 entry before 10pm, £2 after, £1 sourz, £1.25 spirit and mixer, £1.50 (selected pints) till 11pm! myspace.com/commonpeoplesheep Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. ww.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Games: Poker Night Every Tuesday Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon

what’s on

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on... www.walkabout.eu.com • Music: Freedom Of Expression presents acoustic acts - tbc. From 8pm. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub

Wed 30 • Gay / Club: Club Camp Gay night at the sheep with electro and sleeze till late from Linton. Doors at 8pm, £5 after 9pm. www.blacksheepbar.com/clubcamp Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Quiz: The Edge New weekly quiz: gen knowledge / music / sport / missing link / mystery year. £50 bar tab to the winner. 8pm. £1 per person entry The Edge, 1 South End, Croydon • Club: Wednesday Sessions DJ Ruxpin adds a little sparkle to the your midweek, with some uplifting funky vocal house. 7pm-1am. FREE admission. Dress Code: No caps, tracksuits, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers ok. Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ 020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com • Karaoke: Walkabout bottles of Stella £1.50 all night Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com

Thu 31 • Music: Live Blues Act tbc. Check the myspace for details. Bands start 5pm-ish Sundays and 8pm-ish Thursdays. FREE! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023 www.myspace.com/ovaltavern • Club: ALT X South London’s biggest rock night, hosted by Tony X Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Friday 01 August

Sat 02

• Club: DJ Linton Dance Bombs. Funk Rockets. Beat Seeking Missiles. Never Outgunned. DJ LINTON serves up the biggest dancefloor monsters. Doors 7pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: DJs Heavy Mellow Jazz, funk and more from Djs Heavy Mellow. Downstairs. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Act tbc Live music at the Walkabout Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Music: Live Rock Bands tbc Every Saturday night. The Gun Tavern, 83 Church Street, Croydon 020 8667 1472 www.myspace.com/guntavern • Music: The Jugglers Live music at the JollyFarmers. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Club: Hub JOIN US FOR SATURDAY WHERE ONLY THE BEST DJS, PERCUSSIONISTS & SOUND SYSTEMS WILL ENSURE A PACKED HOUSE OF SOPHISTICATED GLAMOUR PUSSES.LONG BAR- JOIN RESIDENT DJS FROM MOJAMA, JC AND JUNIOR JACK PROVING THAT ITS THE MUSIC THAT REALLY COUNTS BAR - RESIDENT LAURENCE NELSON, DEVIOUS DAVE & JASON FEIST TAKE IT IN TURNS TO SEX UP SATURDAY NIGHT WITH CLUB ANTHEMS AND HOUSE. JOIN US FROM 8PM AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF OUR HAPPY HOUR PRICES TILL LATE. FREE B410.30PM AND £5 AFTER FOR GUEST LIST BOOTH BOOKINGS AND PARTIES CALL NIKKI ON 02086805500 Hub, 80-88 High Street, Croydon 02086805500 www.hubcroydon.com • Gay: London Pride 5th July One of the world’s most colourful parades that takes in streets that are

what’s on

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on... known the world-over. The theme this year is Fairytales, Myths and Legends so you can expect to see a colourful procession of beaus and beauty, princes and prancers, debutantes and dancers.s www.pridelondon.org • Club: DJ Rob Delta playing a gargantuan mix of 60s + 70s soul, blues, rock, funk, jazz, latin, psychedelia, reggae & ska every 1st Saturday of the month. 8pm. FREE! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023 www.myspace.com/ovaltavern

Sun 03 • Music: Live New Orleans Jazz Every Sunday 12.30 - 2.30pm at The Lord Napier Jazz Pub. Entry £2, dance floor, raffle, great atmosphere at one of the longest running Jazz Pubs in Great Britain The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286 • Music: Brandon Allan Band Live jazz every Sunday 12-3.30pm. FREE! www.jazznet.co.uk The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Live Blues Act tbc. Check the myspace for details. Bands start 5pm-ish Sundays and 8pm-ish Thursdays. FREE! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023 www.myspace.com/ovaltavern • Quiz: Two Brewers Fun general knowledge quiz. From 9pm. Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road, Croydon, 020 8684 3544 • Club: Cloud 9 Forget chilling out - Sunday night is uplifting funky house party night... 9pm-1am. FREE admission. Dress Code: No caps, tracksuits, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers ok. Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ 020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com • Music: Acoustic Open Mic Night All singers and musicians welcome. From 8.45pm. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Club: Sunday Service Sunday night is party night at the Ship with the Right Reverends Jon and Geoff playing an eclectic mix of music to help

you dance the night away. Fancy dress optional, dancing on the bar and tables actively encouraged. The odd conga round the pub not unknown. 7.30pm til close. FREE! The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QD, 0208 6882810, www.myspace.com/theshipofcroydon • Comedy: Comedy Club Every Sunday from 8pm. FREE! The Milan Bar, Grants Complex, 14-32 High Street, Croydon, 020 8603 0870 • Music: Open Mic Night With DJ Richie Timebomb. Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Club: Sunday Jam One-off open mic jam extravaganza, hosted by Saddam Whitesnake. Doors 7pm, free entry before 10pm, mail steph@blacksheepbar.co.uk for booking! Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. ww.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Mon 04 • Music: Croydon Jazz Band Big band jazz - 1st Monday of every month Botley Hill Farmhouse, Limpsfield Road, Warlingham Surrey, CR6 9QH. Phone: 01959 577154 email: enquiries@botleyhillfarmhouse.co.uk • Music: The Big Beer Band Every Monday from 9ish. FREE! The Brief, George Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/thebriefcroydon • Club: Members Night 50% discount until midnight - see web or ask in the bar for more details. With music from the katie & alex show Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: Croydon Folk and Blues Club From 8pm. See web for details. Croydon Folk And Blues Club, Cedar Room, Ruskin House, Coombe Road, Croydon, www.croydonfolksongclub.org.uk

Tue 05 • Quiz: The Dog and Bull From 9pm-ish, a quiz, a game of play your cards right and a sing-song. Mental. 50p in including sarnies. See article, April issue. The Dog and Bull, Surrey Street, Croydon • Club: Common People The best indie night in your life! EVER! With The SPIV DJ’s. £1 entry before 10pm, £2 after, £1 sourz, £1.25 spirit and mixer, £1.50 (selected pints) till 11pm! myspace.com/commonpeoplesheep Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. ww.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Games: Poker Night Every Tuesday Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Music: Folk Night Every 2nd Tuesday of the month - all welcome! Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road, Croydon, 020 8684 3544 • Music: Freedom Of Expression presents acoustic acts - tbc. From 8pm. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Blues Open Mic Every 2nd and 4th Tuesday of the month. The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023. www.myspace.com/ovaltavern

Wed 06 • Gay / Club: Club Camp Gay night at the sheep with electro and sleeze till late from Linton. Doors at 8pm, £5 after 9pm. www.blacksheepbar.com/clubcamp Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Quiz: The Edge New weekly quiz: gen knowledge / music / sport / missing link / mystery year. £50 bar tab to the winner. 8pm. £1 per person entry The Edge, 1 South End, Croydon • Club: Wednesday Sessions

Thu 07 • Music: Live Blues Act tbc. Check the myspace for details. Bands start 5pm-ish Sundays and 8pm-ish Thursdays. FREE! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, East Croydon, CR0 1BR, 020 8686 6023 www.myspace.com/ovaltavern • Club: ALT X South London’s biggest rock night, hosted by Tony X Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: The Brian Hetherington Jazz Band Listen or jive to the authentic rythyms of New Orleans. 8.30pm-11pm. FREE! Every 2nd and 4th Thursday of the month. The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286 • Club: Hub 101 JOIN US EVERY THURSDAY FOR THE CLASSIEST VENUE IN CROYDON, YOU DONT HAVE TO BE A STUDENT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF STUDENT PRICES. DRINKS PRICES ALL NIGHT DOUBLE VODKA REDBULL £2.50 241 ON SELECTED COCKTAILS, BOTTLED BEERS FROM £2.50. BOTTLE HOUSE WINE £8 Hub, 80-88 High Street, Croydon 02086805500 www.hubcroydon.com • Quiz: Two Brewers Fun general knowledge quiz. From 9pm. Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road, Croydon, 020 8684 3544 • Quiz: JF Big Quiz From 8pm. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley

Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Quiz: Crown and Sceptre Fun general knowledge quiz. Every Thursday from 9pm. Crown and Sceptre, 32 Junction Road, South Croydon, 020 8688 8037 • Quiz: Bar R Barry’s big gen knowledge quiz. From 8ish. Bar R, 73 South End, Croydon 020 8667 1308 • Quiz: Celebrity Pub Quiz with celebrity comedian / actor quizmaster 9pm £2 EDComedy at The Hob The Hobgoblin, 7 Devonshire Rd Forest Hill SE23, www.edcomedy.com • Club: Student Night Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Club: Retro Every Thursday night Loop kicks the weekend off early with DJ Ruxpin and his inimitable blend of soulful and funky house, mixed up with some classics from yesteryear. Don't forget about our unbeatable drink offers. The best happy hours in Croydon. Wannabee DJs: Thursdays are also an opportunity for wannabe DJs to showcase their talents. If this sounds like you please call the office on 020 8760 7000 or send in your CD demo to to our address marked "Retro DJ Showcase". Admission: 7pm until 1am - FREE! Dress Code: No caps, tracksuits, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers ok. Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ 020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com

Fri 08 • Club: WTF Resident DJ Zoe Urchin (Club X, Alien Nation) plays eclectic guitar-driven grooves featuring the godfathers of Indie, New School Indie and Retro. Free entry before 10pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Club: Party NIght (Theme tbc) Full on Fridays every week all drinks £2 from 5pm to midnight Walkabout Croydon,12-18 Crown Hill Church street, Surrey, CR0 1RZ 38

what’s on Tel: 0208 680 5559 www.myspace.com/walkaboutcroydon www.walkabout.eu.com • Music: Rik Martin Live music at the JollyFarmers. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Club: Release The Pressure DJ Andy Harris hosts a mix of the best party anthems from the 70s, 80s and 90s to the present plus a sprinkling of the hits of today, every Friday 6pm-3am. Admission members £3 / Guests £5 before 11pm more after Dress Code: No caps, tracksuits, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers ok. Loop, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ 020 8760 7000. www.looppoolbar.com • Club: Hub LONG BAR - SOUL FUNK & DISCO BLISS; BAR - DJ HUGGY PRESENTS BUBBLEGUM CLUBBING; SUB - DEEP ELECTRO WITH JC AND JUNIOR J FROM MOJAMAS, BRINGING THE CLASSIEST CUSTOMERS FROM THE NOW CLOSED MOJAMAS. JOIN US FROM 5PM AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF OUR HAPPY HOUR PRICES TILL LATE. FREE B410.30PM AND £5 AFTER FOR GUESTLIST BOOTHBOOKINGS AND PARTIES CALL NIKKI ON 02086805500 Hub, 80-88 High Street, Croydon 02086805500 www.hubcroydon.com • Music: DJ Benny Many Hats indie, classics and ska - downstairs. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub

MORE JULY LISTINGS ONLINE AT www.deeplondon.co.uk Got Something Going On? Let us know. What’s On Listings are FREE! E-mail: angela@deeplondon.co.uk or call 020 8680 3558

pubs, clubs & bars • Addington Village Inn Beer garden, parking, big screen, food: 12-8pm. 36 Addington Village Rd, Addington, CR0 01689 842057 • All Bar One 2 floors. Decent food all day. Fiendish German beers. Dress code Fri/Sat: smart casual. 10 Park Lane, CR0. 020 8686 1033 • Alma Tavern - DS Beer garden at rear, patio out front, parking, 4 tvs & big screen, kids welcome til 8pm, live music at weekends - see ‘what’s on’, pool table (FREE pool on Mondays), darts and a cashpoint. Food: 12-3pm MonFri. 129 Lower Addiscombe Rd, CR0, 020 8654 5842. • Arkwrights Wheel - DS Decent sized boozer, pool table, screen for sports, food 12-8pm. Karaoke every Thursday. 151 North End, CR0 020 8649 8638 • Bar R - DS Large friendly open fronted bar with sofas, big screen. Tuesdays: Pop quiz. Thu: General knowledge quiz. Fri and Sat: DJ playing funky house & garage. Sun: Open mic. Thai food served every day 12pm-3pm & 6pm-10pm. No dress code. 73 South End, CR0 020 8667 1308 • Bar Red Square - DS Stylish, light & friendly bar with outside seating. Happy hour 3pm-12am Monday-Saturday: Buy One Get One Free on Smirnoff, Kronenbourg and Wine. DJs at weekends. Dress code: Smart casual - smart trainers ok. 63-65 High St, CR0 020 8688 1020 • Bedford Tavern - DS Large patio garden out front, pool table, bar billiards, tv inside, regular bbqs on the patio. 16 Sydenham Rd, CR0 2EF. 020 8688 2584 • Beehive - DS Large boozer with massive beer garden, right on the green. 47 Woodside Green, South Norwood, SE25 5HQ. 020 8662 1941 • Bird in Hand - DS Croydon’s longest serving gay/mixed pub. 2 bars & beer

garden, pool table, large screen tv and function room for hire. Fri: DJ Rita. Sat & Sun: DJ Ma Meacham. First Sat of every month is ‘Birds in the Back Bar’ ladies only night in the 2nd bar. 291 Sydenham Rd, CR0. 020 8683 3104 www.birdinhand.info • Bishops Wine Bar Only sell wine. Homemade food served between 12pm and 2.30pm. Opening times subject to change. 1129 Whitgift Centre, CR0. 020 8681 7340 Mon-Sat: 11.30am-4.45pm Closed Sunday. • Black Sheep Bar - DS Possibly Croydon’s most progressive venue. See what’s on for night details. 68 High St, CR0 1NA. 020 8680 2233 www.blacksheepbar.com • Bricklayers Arms - DS 237 High Street Beckenham • Brief - DS Decent boozer with screens showing music videos/freeview, Dress code at weekends - smart casual, no headwear. Door charge at weekends. 48 George St, CR0. 020 8686 6878 • Builders Arms - DS Friendly Fullers pub with conservatory restaurant area, 2 bars, one with 2 tvs. Board games available. General knowledge quiz night every Tuesday from 9pm. Live music last Friday of every month. Large, grassy, pleasant beer garden out back with nice seating, giant Connect 4, giant Jenga and giant skittles, Over 18s only. 65 Leslie Park Rd, CR0 6TP. 020 8654 1803 • Bulls Head - DS Small friendly local. Recently refurbed and under new management. All sports & Setanta sports shown. Real ales Bar food mon-fri: 12-4pm. 39 Laud St, CR0 020 8760 0150 • Carbon - DS Cocktails, lounge bar, indian food, chill-out, ambient, funky music. Wi-fi zone.. Mon-Sat: 12pm-3pm, 5pm12,30am 90 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1ND, 020 8688 0889 www.myspace.com/carbonbbq

DS indicates DEEP Stockist!

• Claret Free House Real ale bar. 5a Bingham Corner, Lower Addiscombe Rd, CR0 7AA 020 8656 7452 • Coombe Lodge Large pub/restaurant with enormous beer garden, conservatory and outdoor dining as well as posh dining room. Food served all day. Also a Travel Inn with rooms around £60. 104 Coombe Rd, CR0 020 8686 2030 • Crescent Arms 323 Whitehorse Road, CR0. 020 8684 2310 • Cricketers - DS Good food, screens for sports, huge garden, pool table. 47 Shirley Rd, CR0 7ER 020 8655 3507 • Cricketers Pub grub served weekdays 123.30 and Sunday Roast served Sundays 12 ‘til they run out! 107 Addiscombe Rd, CR0. 020 8662 1921 • Croham Arms - DS Croham Rd, CR2 020 8688 7356. • Crown Inn - DS Massive pub with beer garden, parking etc. Good food and weekly quiz nights. 28 Wickham Rd, Shirley, CR0 020 8662 7801 • Crown and Anchor - DS 19 Park Road, Bromley • Crown & Pepper - DS Friendly staff and punters, large pub, nice beer garden / patio at the back heated and lit smoking area, conservatory dining area, car park, sofas, wide range of bottled beers, shots and good food. Dinner table reservations available. 242 High St, CR0 1NF. 020 8688 7507 • Crown and Sceptre - DS Small friendly local with outside seating, parking, screen for sports and top food served Mon-Thu 12-9pm, Fri-Sun + bank Hols: 12-6pm 32 Junction Road, CR2. 020 8688 8037 • Davy’s Wine Vaults - DS Intimate underground wine bar, tucked away in North End. Big screen, comfy sofas and booths. Excellent selection of wines. Quiz night first Weds of every month at 7.30pm, Salsa classes

and intermediate every Sat. Quality food served everyday 11am-10pm. 122 North End, CR0, 020 8680 2419 • Dog and Bull - DS The Dog comes into its own as the sun arrives - the best beer garden in Croydon, with alfresco bar and bbq. Brilliant. 24 Surrey St, CR0. 020 8688 3664 • Drum and Monkey 7 Gloucester Rd, CR0 • Duke of Cambridge Small pub, popular with footie fans on matchdays. 7 Holmesdale Rd, CR0 2LR 020 8665 6440 • Duke of Gloucester 258 Sydenham Rd, CR0 2EB. 020 8684 3971 • Eagle - DS Under new management. 52 Tamworth Road (Reeves Corner), 020 8686 7474 • E-Bar - DS Happy Hour every day 4.30pm-7pm - £1.50 selected lines. Free Venue Hire. 20 South End, CR0 020 8681 0573 Mon-Wed: 4.30pm-11pm Thu: 4.30pm-1am Fri-Sat: 4.30pm-2am • Earl of Eldon - DS All sports shown, big screen, beer garden, occasional live music. Sunday lunches served 12-4.30pm. 63 Brighton Rd, CR2. 020 8688 1473 • Edge - DS Under New Management. Beer garden, wednesday quiz night. Weekday food 12-3pm. Live music from rock riot promotions www.myspace.com/ rockriotpromo 1 South End, CR0. 020 8774 9933 • Elliott’s - DS Food served Mon-Fri 122.30pm. Function room, 42” plasma screen for sports. Occasional Karaoke. Weds: Fun Blackjack (£1 entry) and Salsa classes from 8pm. 5 High Street, Purley, CR8 2AF. 020 8668 3361 • Fairfield Tavern - DS Only open to theatre-goers. Fairfield Halls, CR0

artist's work for sale. Food served 12-9 daily. Mon-Thurs 12-12 Fri -Sat 12-1 Sun -12-10.30 58-60 High St, CR0 1NA 020 8667 0684 Mon-Thu: 12pm-12 midnight Fri/Sat: 12pm-1am Sun: 12pm-10.30pm • Gun Tavern - DS Live music venue as well as a friendly boozer. Pool tables, Sky on big screen TV. Church St, CR0 1RN. 020 8667 1472 • Gypsy Tavern Wine bar. 12 Station Rd, CR0 020 8688 6750 • Half and Half New lounge bar 282 High St, CR0 1NG 020 8726 0080 www.halfandhalf.uk.com • Hare and Hounds 325 Purley Way, CR0 020 8688 0420 • Harvest Home 27 Beddington Lane, CR0 020 8688 0813 • Horseshoe Beer garden, pool table and screens for sport. Live music/quiz/karaoke occasionally on Fri-Sun. Kids welcome until 6pm. Food derved 12-2pm and 5-8pm. 745 London Rd, Thornton Heath, CR7, 020 8665 6305 • Hub New club 80-88 High St, CR0 020 8680 5500 • Hustler Club Croydon’s newest (and only) table dancing club. 8pm-3am 12-20 Crown Hill, Croydon, 020 8633 1621 www.hustlerclubuk.com • Jack and Jill Longlands Ave, Coulsdon, CR5 • Jolly Farmers - DS Good beers and ales, and coffees, with home cooked foods served at lunchtimes. (No TV screens inside) Seating areas to the front and side, with car parking to the rear. Live music on Fridays (rock/blues band night), Saturdays (mixed bands and singers) and Sundays (great ‘open Mic’ nights with different hosts every week) See the Web site for details www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk 7 High Street Purley, Tel 0208 660 2076 • Lion Inn Beer garden, pool table, darts, screens for sport. Karaoke

pubs, clubs & bars • First Base City Limits, The Colonnades, Purley Way • Fishermans Arms 78 Windmill Rd, CR0 2XP 020 8689 7887 • Folly - DS Large and airy split level pub with pool table, outside patio, big screen, comfy seats. Food served 12-6pm every day. Happy hour 4-8pm every day. DJs from 8pm every Sunday. 13-15 Selsdon Rd, CR2. 020 8688 3920 • Forestdale Arms New food menu, massive smoking tent, karaoke Fridays, quiz on Saturday lunch times. Cricket/ football net. Featherbed Lane, CR0 020 8651 1260 • Fountainhead Large pub with large grassy beer garden, kiddie’s slide and, as far as we’re aware, it still has a ‘swingball’ out there too. 114 Parchmore Rd, Thornton Heath. 020 8653 4025 • Fox Pub and restaurant with enormous beer garden set pretty much in the countryside. Nice food last time we visited. Coulsdon Common, Coulsdon, CR3 01883 330401 • Foxley Hatch 8-9 Russell Hill Rd, Purley, CR8. 020 8763 9307 • Freelands Tavern - DS 31 Freelands Road, Bromley • George - DS Wetherspoons pub with cheap beer offers running constantly, large restaurant at rear with no smoking area and disabled access. 17-21 George St, CR0 020 8649 2944 • George Outside courtyard, inside screens for sport, live music, quizzes and karaoke occasionally. Bar food available all day. 132 Canterbury Rd, CR0 020 8689 7911 • Gipsy Moth - DS Massive boozer - kiddies play area, car park, screens etc. Unit 7, The Colonnades, 619 Purley Way, CR0 4RJ 020 8686 8923 • Glamorgan - DS Top quality food in friendly gastro-pub surroundings. beer garden, pool table, big screens for sport (not football). South

African ‘Bunny Chow’ a speciality. 81 Cherry Orchard Rd, CR0 020 8688 6333 • Golden Lion 144 Stanley Rd, CR0 3QB 020 8684 1395 • Good Companion Family friendly pub on the southern edge of South Croydon, on the Limpsfield Road. Main Bar: large screen TV and additional screens showing all major sports, pool table/darts. Live music and DJ nights (Includes established ‘Open Mic’ night on Thursdays, but see the web site for details of all events). Non smoking Lounge Bar and large Restaurant. Home prepared foods inc. kids options available from 12 daily. Special menu on Sundays includes a choice of roasts and other meal options (booking is recommended on Sundays). Very large family gardens. Car Parking for 60 cars. Private weddings, functions and parties catered for. ( no room hire charges ). Open until 11.30p.m. weekdays and Midnight on Fridays and Saturdays Limpsfield Road, South Croydon. Tel: 0208 657 6655. www.thegoodcompanions.com • Goose on the Market DS Huge boozer with an eclectic age range of punters, eyewateringly low prices and friendly staff. 1 Surrey St, CR0 1RG 020 8688 4798 • Granaries 6 Overtons Yard, 020 8667 1000 • Grange Beer garden, screens for sport, pool table. Bar food available every day, occasional live music, quiz, karaoke. 21 Norbury Rd, Thornton Heath, CR7. 020 8653 3783 • Green Dragon - DS 2 pool tables, sports screens, hire-able upstairs bar. Live music Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Sundays; Djs at the weekend. Quality Ales and Proper Food (big Sunday Roast and lots for veggies); table service. Thursday Quiz, Sunday Pub Games night, a BookSwap scheme and local

Saturday nights. Main and evening menu, bar snacks all day. 182 Padsons Rd, CR0 020 8684 2978 • Lord Napier Renowned Thornton Heath boozer noted for its quality live jazz music. 111 Beulah Rd, Thornton Heath, CR7. 020 8653 2286 • Loop - DS “Loop is a members-only, award winning (Best New Late Night Venue - Theme), stylishly designed club with, impressive cocktail bar, american pool tables and some of Londons top DJs.” Dress Code varies, check each listing in what’s on. DJs from 9pm. General Enquiries: 020 8760 7000 www.looppoolbar.com 12 Crown Hill, CR0 • Man on the Moon 112 Headley Drive, New Addington, CR0 0QF 01689 847550 • Milan Bar / Lloyds - DS Hugely popular bar over two floors. Relatively cheap booze. Food served throughout the day until 30mins before closing. Screens showing music videos, 70’s 80’s 90’s night every Thursday from 8pm. DJ’s at weekends Dress code: Smart casual - no hats or trainers. 1432 High St, CR0, 020 8603 0870 • New Inn 148 Mitcham Rd, CR0 020 8665 1440 • Newton Arms 175 Queens Rd, CR0 020 8684 1654 • Nowhere Inn Particular Beer garden (kids allowed in garden only). DJ Saturday nights, Friday - curry and a pint for £5.50. Sunday roast £4.95. 78 Sumner Rd, CR0 020 8681 8898 • Norbury - DS Incorporating The Edge nightclub. Sports bar with 3 big screens and pool tables. Outside seating area. 1300 London Road, Norbury. SW16 4DG. 020 8679 0632 • Oakfield Tavern - DS Beer garden. Entertainment throughout the week. New traditional home-cooked food served 12-6pm every day. 166 St James Rd, CR0 2UZ. 020 8684 1743

• Old Derby - DS Screens for sport, pool table, darts, benches outside at front. Quiz every 3/4 weeks, live bands and karaoke every two weeks. DJ Twinkletoes every Frdiay and Sunday. Lunch menu served 11am-2.30pm and a diferent meal every night for £1.50. 44 Pitlake, CR0 020 8688 5674 • Old Fox and Hounds Thai food served Mon-Sat: 123pm. Beer garden, pool table, big screen sport, house doubles at £2, function room available. 1 London Rd, CR0 • Orchard - DS Large pub with pool table, darts, big screen, beer garden with kids play-area. 112 Cherry Orchard Rd, CR0 020 8688 3682 • Oval - DS One of our favourite pubs. Brilliantly friendly. Pool table, great beer garden. Real Ales. Food served between 12-3pm every day and 6-9pm Fridays new menu and bar menu (nachos, calamari, potato skins etc). Sunday Roast (2 choices + vege) 12.30-3.30pm. BBQs in summer (available to hire - call for details). Pool competition every Thurs, DJs Fri/Sat, monthly quiz night and live blues (see what’s on for details). 131 Oval Rd, CR0 020 8686 6023 • Parchmore Tavern 82 Parchmore Rd, Thornton Heath, CR7. 020 8771 3816 • Padson’s Arms Beer garden, screens for sport and kids welcome until 7pm. 69 Padsons Rd, CR0 2QA 020 8684 2378 • Pitlake Arms 73a Waddon New Rd, CR0 1XD 020 8688 0428 • Pistols - DS 208-210 BrightonRoad, Coulsdon, CR5 2NF • Plough and Harrow 774 London Rd, Thornton Heath, CR7. 020 8665 7151 • Plough Inn Croydon Rd, The Broadway, CR0 4QR. 020 8647 1122 • Porter and Sorter - DS The Editor’s local, friendly and lively. Table service, good food new menu including sarnies and wraps as well as main meals. Dining area at rear, 7 different real ales, drinks offers, no

smoking area, outside seating, 3 screens. A top boozer! 1 Billinton Hill (formerly Station Rd), CR0, 020 8688 4296 • Prince George 2 High St, Thornton Heath, CR7. 020 8239 0029 • Purley Arms - DS Outside patio, big screen, cashpoint inside. Food served Mon-Fri: 12pm-7pm Saturday: 12-5pm Sunday: 1pm-5pm. 345 Brighton Rd, CR2 020 8686 3792 Mon-Wed: 12pm-11pm Thu-Sat: 12pm-12am Sun: 12pm-10.30pm • Railview - DS Under New Management. Beer Garden, Darts, Sky Sports, Parking. Sunday Lunch 1-5pm. 11am-11pm Sun-Thu, 11am-12am Sat/Sun 188 Selsdon Rd, CR2 020 8688 2315 • Railway Telegraph 19 Brigstock Rd, Thornton Heath • Randall Tavern Fieldway, New Addington, CR0 9DX, 01869 841476 • Rectory - DS Huge barracuda pub in Purley. Loads of seating, booths, wooden floors etc. Pay car park at rear. Food served 12-10pm. 908-912 Brighton Rd, Purley, CR8 2LN. 020 8660 6396 • Red Deer - DS Massive pub in South Croydon with 2 bars, pool table, 2 big screens + 6 smaller ones for sport. Car park. Cash Point. Food all day every day and large function room available for hire - call for details. Reasonably priced drinks. Quiz night once every two weeks - call for details. 279 Brighton Rd, CR2 020 8760 0131 Mon-Thu: 12-11pm Fri-Sat: 12pm-12am Sun: 12-10.30pm • Reform Tavern 69 Osbourne Rd, Thornton Heath, CR7 020 8653 9991 • Rileys American Pool and Snooker Club 63 Frith Road, CR0 020 8649 7788 Wandle Road, CR0 020 8686 1999 • Royal Oak - DS Royal Oak Centre, Brighton Rd, Purley, CR8

pubs, clubs & bars • Royal Standard - DS Small, friendly Fullers pub with beer garden over the road. Food served Mon-Fri: 122.30pm. Dart board. No music. Rugby pub! 1 Sheldon St, CR0 1SS 020 8688 9749 • Saints and Sinners Pleasant little pub with small beer patio. 482 London Rd, CR0. 020 8689 3713 • Sandrock Hotel - DS Restaurant/pub - patio out the back, parking, food served Mon-Sat 12-2.30pm and 5.308pm. Sun: 12-5pm. Music/gen knowledge quiz, every Tuesday from 8.30pm. Monthly live music (phone for date/details). Upper Shirley Rd, CR0 . 020 8662 1931 • Selhurst Arms Large Palace pub with 2 bars, big screen, pool table, beer garden /patio, car park. Selhurst Rd, SE25 • Ship - DS Institutional alternative pub. Food Mon-Sat: 12-7pm, Sun: 12.30-3pm. 47 High St, CR0. 020 8688 2810 www.theship.org • Ship of Fools Wetherspoons outfit. 9-11 London Rd, CR0 020 8681 2835 • Shirley Inn - DS Compact pub with beer garden, parking, pool table, darts, 4 screens inc big one. Steak-out menu available Mon-Sat 126.30pm and Sun 12-2.30pm. Karaoke on some Thursdays, and Entertainment on Saturdays (phone for dates and details). 158 Wickham Rd, CR0. 020 8654 1362 • Sir Julian Huxley 152-154 Addington Rd, Selsdon, CR2. 020 8657 9457 • Skylark Large pub spread over two floors. 34 South End, CR0 1DP. 020 8649 9909 • Smugglers Inn 320 Chipstead Valley Rd, Coulsdon. 020 8657 9457 • Spread Eagle - DS Extensive traditional pub menu served 12-9pm Mon-Sat and 12-5pm Sunday. Real Ales, Cask Conditioned ales. Outside seating. Sky big screen

downstairs, plasma screen upstairs. Function room for hire with buffets available. 39 High St, CR0 1QD 020 8781 1134 • Stag 234-236 Addington Rd, Selsdon, 020 8657 6265 • Stag and Hounds - DS Local pub with beer garden. Friendly atmos. Home cooked food every Friday 11am-3pm. 26 Selsdon Rd, CR2 020 8688 1908 • Star 101 Southbridge Rd, CR0. 020 8688 2638 • Surprise Inn - DS Karaoke every Sunday evening from 5.30 until closing. 107 Upper Shirley Rd, CR0. 020 8656 6820 • Surrey Cricketers - DS Friendly, triangular shaped pub, seats outside, pool table, screens, darts. 23 West St, CR0 020 8288 1781 • Suzy Q’s Pool / Snooker club. 31 Imperial Way, Purley Way, CR0 4RR. Telephone 020 8688 3479. Pool and Snooker club • Swan and Sugarloaf - DS Large pub with parking, screen for sports, pool table and darts. Function room for hire. B&B (room only £20pppn). 1 Brighton Rd, CR2. 020 8686 2562 020 8688 7888 • Thomas Farley 61 High St, Thornton Heath, CR7. 020 8665 7975 • Tiger Tiger - DS 6 bars, a restaurant: modern classic food and a club spread over 2 floors. Happy hour 57.30pm. Dress Code: Smart casual, collared shirts, no trainers. 16 Grant’s Building, High St, CR0. 020 8662 4949. www.tigertiger-croydon.co.uk • Tudor Rose Coulsdon Rd, Coulsdon, CR5 01737 553368 • Two Brewers - DS Pleasant little Shepherd Neame pub with tables outside, screens for sport, darts. Gets busy with footie fans as it’s on the way to Selhurst Park, but still manages to stay friendly and welcoming. 221 Gloucester Rd, CR0. 020 8684 3544

pubs / clubs / bars / restaurants • Upstairs Gorgeous, grown-up, intimate club.Thursday - Simply Salsa. Friday & Saturday Club nights with DJ's including Louis from Choice FM. Guest list and venue hire available, please contact 020 8688 9837 for details. www.treehousepeople.com 78 South End, CR0. 020 8688 9837 • Victoria Cross 228 Bensham Lane, Thornton Heath, CR7. 020 8684 3022 • Vintage 34 Surrey Street, Croydon CR0 1RJ 020 8686 5600 www.vintage-bar.com • Walkabout - DS Large and lively Aussie boozer. Club attached, (open Fri/Sat). Live bands and DJs through the week. Large portions of food (inc. crocodile & kangaroo) served until 1 hour before closing. 2 big screens for sport, loads of seating and comfy sofas. Dress code: smart casual no trainers. 12 Crown Hill, CR0 1RZ. 020 8680 5559 mail: croydon@walkabout.eu.com for birthdays special occasions and guest list. • Welcome Inn 300 Parchmore Rd, Thornton Heath, CR7 • Wheatsheaf Large and allegedly haunted boozer on Thornton Heath Pond. 759 London Rd, Thornton Heath, CR7. 020 8665 7161 • Wheelwrights Arms - DS 126 Southbridge Rd, CR0. • Windmill - DS Friendly local with large grassy beer garden and big screen. Food served Mon-Sat 12pm2.30pm and Sunday 1pm-5pm. Quiz night at the end of every month - phone for details. 224 St James Rd, CR0 2BW. 020 8684 2272. Mon-Sat: 11am11pm. Sun: 12pm-10.30pm • Windsor Castle - DS (Toby Carvery and Innkeepers Lodge) Pub, restaurant, hotel. Car park. Garden & patio. Food served 12pm-9.30pm, set menu and carvery. 415 Brighton Rd, CR2. 020 8680 4559

• Woodman - DS Small and friendly pub with beer garden at back, outside seating at front and screen for sports. Unusual and interesting ceiling decor. 36 Upland Rd, CR2 020 8688 4725 • Yates’s Wine Lodge - DS New and vastly improved, friendly, relaxed and with pool hall upstairs. 3-11 High St, CR0 020 8681 8219 • Ye Olde Clock Tower 35 Whitehorse Road, CR0 020 8684 0288

• Chateau Napolean Upmarket French cuisine Coombe Wood Hs, Coombe Lane, 020 8686 1244, 020 8680 6027 • Little Bay French/Italian/English. Small intimate restaurant. 32 Selsdon Rd, CR2. 020 8649 9544 • Rayon D’Or French/Italian/English. Face painting for kids on Sunday, dinner and dancing on Saturday. Airport House, Purley Way, CR0. 020 8781 1933 • Savana 222 London Rd, CR0 020 8680 7452

restaurants

GREEK • L’Unico Greek cuisine. 265 High St, CR0, 020 8688 7998

AMERICAN • Frankie and Benny’s Pizza, pasta & burgers. Valley Leisure Park, Purley Way, CR0. 020 8760 5021 • Old Orleans Authentic New Orleans cuisine and cocktail bar. City Limits, The Colonnades, Purley Way. 020 8225 1999 • T.G.I Fridays 702-704 Purley Way, CR0. 020 8681 1313

INDIAN • 1860 Indian / South African cuisine. 28 South End, CR0 020 8688 3839 • Anika’s Contemporary Indian & Bangladeshi cuisine. 4 Selsdon Parade, Addington Rd, Selsdon, CR2, 020 8651 6602 020 8651 6603 • Banana Leaf Award winning South Indian cuisine. 7 Lower Addiscombe Rd, CR0. 020 8688 0297 020 8688 9922 • Bombay Blue - DS Fine Indian cuisine. 23 High Street, Purley, CR8 2AF. 020 8645 0022 • Carbon - DS Bar & BBQ Indian - review coming soon.. Mon-Sat: 12pm-3pm, 5pm12,30am. 90 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1ND, 020 8688 0889 www.myspace.com/carbonbbq • Catamaran South Indian Kerala cuisine. Veggie and non-veggie. Takeaways available. 62 South End, Croydon CR0 1DP, 020 8688 6996 020 8688 7002 www.mcdosa.com • Chat House 14 Brighton Rd, CR2 020 8688 6327

ENGLISH • Cockney’s Pie and Mash Pies, mash, liquor, vinegar in huge bottles, 82 Church St, CR0 - 020 8680 4512 • Coombe Lodge 104 Coombe Rd, CR0 020 8686 2030 • Tree House - DS 78 South End, CR0 020 8688 9837 FISH • Paradise Island Classy Mauritian restaurant specialising in fish dishes 67 South End, CR0 020 8688 9848 FRENCH • Auberge French cuisine. Unit 2153 (third floor) Whitgift Centre, CR0. 020 8680 8337 Sun-Wed: 10am-6pm Thu-Sat: 10am-10pm • Boulevard - DS Restaurant, bar, cafe. 7-8 Ruskin Parade, Selsdon Rd, South Croy. CR2. 020 8649 9990

• Depa Indiana 5 Derby Rd, CR0 020 8688 9695 020 8686 4902 • Go East 212 London Rd, CR0 020 8667 1700 • India Palace 79 High St, CR0 020 8686 6730 • Kerala Bhavan South Indian. 16 London Rd, CR0. 020 8688 6216 • Mensab 39 Stafford Rd, CR0 020 8667 9090 • Mohini Balti 202 Croydon Rd, Beddington, CR0. 020 8686 8700 020 8688 5265 • Panahar 316 Limpsfield Rd, CR2 020 8651 9662 • Rose Indian/Chinese/Sri Lankan 305 London Rd, CR0 020 8684 1198 020 8684 1536 • Royal Asia Tandoori 91 Lower Addiscombe Rd, CR0. 020 8656 7818 • Sanderstead Tandoori 5 Station Parade, Sanderstead Rd, CR2. 020 8651 6489 • Sangri New indian - fantastic food! 265 High Street, Croydon CR0 1QH • Sheesh Mahal 10 Lower Addiscombe Rd, CR0.020 8688 6239 020 8680 5553 • Tabaq Lahore cuisine 300 High Street, Croydon, 020 8688 9990 www.tabaq.co.uk • Taste Of Bengal 1 Station Parade, Sanderstead Rd, CR2. 020 8651 5445 • Tikka Masala 227-229 High St, CR0 020 8686 8800 • Zafran 349 Lower Addiscombe Rd, CR0. 020 8655 0055 • Zara’s Kitchen Quality Indian, bring your own alcohol. 60 South End, CR0 020 8688 4277 020 8688 0782

restaurants ITALIAN • Bagatti’s 56-58 South End, CR0 020 8680 1336 • Bibi and Beppe Italian Risotteria, Pizzeria and Ristorante. Modern Italian cuisine, specialising in Risotto. 12” pizze. Fully Licensed. 38a South End, CR0, 020 8688 8524 • Dario 248 Brighton Rd, CR2 020 8686 2680 • Elio 17 Limpsfield Rd, CR2 020 8657 2953 • Il Cavallino 89 Lower Addiscombe Rd, CR0. 020 8656 9679 • Il Ponte Great food, but a bit crowded. 91-101 High St, CR0 020 8686 1112 • Il Teatro Wood oven baked pizza 64-66 London Rd, CR0 020 8667 1788 • La Pergola Streatham Italian with institutionally hilarious Elvis show. 66 Streatham High St, SW16. 020 8764 2646 / 020 8769 2601 • Mamma Amalfi Live Opera as you eat. 18 George St, CR0, 020 8688 5787 • Pasta San Giorgio Fresh pasta, friendly atmosphere but the service can suffer under pressure. 21-23 St Georges Walk, CR0, 020 8688 9428 • Pizza Express 3-7 South End, CR0 020 8680 0123 • Zizzi - DS Pasta and Pizza in modern surroundings with a wood oven for pizza. French doors all along the front, which they open up in summer. 57-59 South End, CR0. 020 8649 8403 MEXICAN • Chiquito Unit 3, Valley Park Leisure Development, Purley Way, CR0. 020 8686 8341 • Conchitas 27/29 South End, Croydon Tel: 020 8255 8028 • Tequila Rock Cafe 281 High St, CR0 020 8686 8030 020 8686 3223

• Royal Garden Upmarket Chinese. Takeaway available. Shirley Hills Rd, CR0 020 8654 6491 / 020 8654 0170 • Spicy Penang Chinese / Malaysian cuisine. Restaurant / takeaway / free delivery (over £15 (after discount) within 3 mile radius. 10% discount on all takeaway collections and deliveries. 49b49c South End, Croydon, CR0 1BF. 020 8680 2010 Lunch Mon-Fri: 12-2.30pm Dinner Mon-Thu: 6-11.30pm Fri/Sat: 6pm-midnight Sun: 12 noon - 11pm. • Tai Tung Chinese. 550 Purley Way, CR0 020 8688 3668 / 0117 • Udon Noodle Bar 74 London Rd, CR0 020 8686 0602 • Welcome Friends Chinese. 4 Bingham Corner, Lower Addiscombe Rd, CR0. 020 8656 9981.

ORIENTAL • Anna’s Thai. 1078 Whitgift Centre, CR0. 020 8681 6601 • Beijing Cottage Superior Cantonese. 49 South End, CR0 020 8688 2046 020 8688 1092 • Blossom House Chinese. 340 Limpsfield Rd, CR2. 020 8651 4723 • Excelsior Chinese. 264 Wickham Rd, CR0. 020 8656 1666 • Kelong All you can eat Malay/Chinese buffet. 1b Selsdon Rd, CR0 020 8688 0726 • Kelong Malay/Singaporean. Unit 10, Wingyip Centre, Purley Way, CR0 020 8288 1638 • Lido Noodle Bar Chinese, Malay, Thai and noodles. 282 London Rd, CR0 020 8689 8088 • Longquan Noodle Bar 97 South End, CR0 020 8667 9588 • Mae Ping Thai. 16-18 South End, CR0 020 8760 0278 • Malay House Malaysian BYO alcohol. 60 Lower Addiscombe Rd, CR0. 020 8666 0266 • Miso Noodle Bar. Geeorge Street, Croydon www.misonoodlebar.co.uk • New China King 6 Beddington terrace, Mitcham Rd, CR0 020 8689 8222 • Noodle Time Good value functional chinese food served super-fast. Ideal for filling up before a night on the town. 56 George St, CR0 020 8681 6598 • Osushi Croydon’s first sushi restaurant sushi, tempura & ramen in contemporary surroundings 47 South End, CR0 1BF 020 8681 1166 • Paisaan Thai. Delivery of food and wines & beers available! 13-17 Station Rd, CR0 020 8686 6254

NEPALESE • Gurkha Spice Seafood, Thai, Chinese, Indian, Nepalese cuisine 343 Brighton Road, South Croydon, CR2 6EQ 020 8686 8606 020 8667 0711 OTHER • Croydon Steak House T-bone steaks from 500g to 1500g. 31 South End, CR0 020 8688 8422. Closed Sun. • La Brasa Argentinian cuisine - mostly cow-based. 108a High St, CR0. 020 8760 9610 • Nando’s Portugese chicken restaurant. 26 High St, CR0 020 8681 3505, 0800 975 8181 • Pepperton UK - DS Relaxed and friendly licensed vegetarian restaurant and art gallery. Pepperton UK 25 Selhurst Road, SE25 020 8683 4462 • Tiger Tiger - DS Classic cuisine with a contemporary twist, along with 6 bars, 2 dance-floors and happy hour 5pm-7.30pm. 16 Grant’s Building, High St, CR0. 020 8662 4949 www.tigertiger-croydon.co.uk

• Tinkers New Modern European restaurant. 299 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QL, 020 8686 5624 • Tree House - DS Large contemporary restaurant with bar and garden offering modern European cuisine. Main meals from £8.95. 78 South End, CR0. 020 8688 9837 SPANISH • Galicia Tapas Bar and restaurant. 269-275 High St, CR0 020 8686 0043 • La Tasca Tapas bar and restaurant. 38-40 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1YB, 0208 680 3388 • Picasso Tapas Bar and restaurant. 910 London Rd, Thornton Heath, CR7 7PE, 020 8684 0049

cabs / cinema / music / adult cabs • A1 Minicabs 307 London Road, CR0, 020 8683 3535 or 020 8684 5050 • Circuit Cars 12 South End, CR0 020 8680 4321 • Croydon Carriage Co 270 Wickham Road, CR0 020 8656 1313 • Croydon Central Cars 35 South End, CR0 020 8686 4444 020 8686 4499 • Derby Minicabs 1 Derby Road, CR0 020 8680 5566 020 8680 7799 • Kendall Cars - WS 11, Epsom Road, CR0 and 20 Station Road, CR0. 020 8681 3535 • Roadrunners 174 North End, CR0 0800 147369 020 8681 8700 • Station Cars Purley 10 Station Approach, Purley, CR8, 020 8660 6000 020 8668 8848 • Station Cars Sanderstead Sanderstead BR 020 8657 5550 020 8657 1110 020 8657 5588

hotels • Aerodrome Hotel 3 star. £60-£120 Purley Way, CRO 020 8680 1999 • Coombe Lodge Around £55. 104 Coombe Rd, CR0, 020 8686 2030 • Coulsdon Manor Hotel 4 star. £108-£130 Coulsdon Court Rd, Coulsdon, 020 8668 0414 • Croydon Park Hotel 4 star. £125 - £140. Gym and pool. And a bar open to non-residents. 7 Altyre Road, CRO 020 8680 9200 • Express Holiday Inn WS Priddy’s Yard, off Frith Road, (behind Debenhams) Croydon

• Fairfield Hotel 2 star. £60ish. 1 Lansdowne Rd, CRO 020 8681 3381 • Hilton Croydon 4 star. £110. Waddon Way (off Purley Way), CRO. 020 8680 3000 • Innkeepers Lodge (Windsor Castle) - WS £70. 415 Brighton Rd, South Croydon, CR2 0870 243 0500 • Jury’s Inn 3 star. From £69. Wellesley Rd, CR0, 0870 907 2222 • Kirkdale Hotel £45-£80. 22 St Peters Rd, CRO. 020 8688 5898 • Premier Travel Inn £55ish. The Colonnades Leisure Park, 619 Purley Way, CR0. 0870 990 6554 • Selsdon Park Hotel 4 star. £100-£175. 126 Addington Rd, CR2 020 8657 8811 • South Park Hotel 2 star. £55-£75 3-5 South Park Rd, CR2 020 8688 5644

soundproofed, air-conditioned recording studios with vocal room. Studio hire, music production, training courses and DJ recording. Free parking. Unit 18-19 Croydon House, 1 Peall Road, Croydon, CR0 3EX. Tel: 020 8287 8585. www.onlinestudios.co.uk info@onlinestudios.co.uk • Rockbottom - WS Southern England’s largest music shop - keyboards, electronica, guitars & amps, drums & percussion (drum lessons available), woodwind & brass instruments. Buy and sell, downstairs rehearsal studios. 68/70 London Road, CR0. 020 8680 1042 • Scream Studios - WS Open 24 hours. 1000w rig with on board digital effects. Piezo mic recording system, air conditioning. Full backline available. Parking available. Daytime sessions from £18, evening sessions from £25. 20c South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN(next to E-Bar). 020 8686 5788 www.screamstudios.co.uk • Swag Records - WS Dance music specialists. 42 Station Road, West Croydon. 020 8681 7735 www.swagrecords.com • Vinyl Resting Place - WS Now online only at: www.thevinylrestingplace. co.uk • World Domination Music Croydon’s newest independent music publisher. Looking for singers/songwriters. All demos listened to. 52 Upper Selsdon Road, South Croydon, CR2 8DE 020 8657 5565 • 101 Records 2nd hand music. 11 Keeley Rd, CR0. 020 8681 8282

music • Beanos - WS The UKs largest 2nd hand record shop. 3 floors of vinyl heaven. Star House, 7 Middle St (near Jim Thompsons / Surrey Street market) 020 8680 1202 • Jonathan Myall Music Europe’s leading woodwind & brass centre. New & secondhand. Sales, rental, repairs. 46 South End, CR0 020 8662 8400 www.justflutes.com • Livewire Recording Studios Streatham Ice Arena 386 Streatham high road London. SW16 6HT 020 8835 9913 • Martin Phelps Music Guitars, amps, digital pianos, keyboards. On site guitar workshop. Buy and sell instruments. 9 South End, CR0, 020 8680 9747 • Memory Lane Records Old tunes. 55 Frith Road, CR0 020 8649 7220 • Online Studios 2 state of the art

cinema / theatre .• Fairfield Halls - WS Theatre and cinema. Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG box office: 020 8688 9291 admin: 020 8681 3381 www.fairfield.co.uk • Warehouse Theatre - WS Theatre and bar. Dingwall Road, Croydon CR0, 020 8680 4060 www.warehousetheatre.co.uk • Vue Grants 10 screen cinema complex. 14 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1GT. bookings and info: 08702 406020 enquiries: 020 8688 0606 www.warnervillage.co.uk • Vue Purley Way 8 screen cinema complex. Valley Park Leisure Complex, Hasterman Way, Croydon, CR0 4YA. bookings, info and enquiries: 08702 406020 www.warnervillage.co.uk • David Lean Cinema - WS 80 seater cinema & bar - mostly art-house and alternative films. Croydon Clocktower, Katherine Street, Croydon, CR9 1ET. 020 8253 1030

adult • Hustler Club Croydon’s newest (and only) table dancing club. 8pm-3am www.hustlerclubuk.com 12-20 Crown Hill, Croydon, 020 8633 1621 • Private DVDs, videos, ‘marital aids’ toys etc in a discreet environment. Selsdon Road, South Croydon (opposite The Folly pub)

book-worm S

eeing as though 2008 is National Year of Reading (www.yearofreading.org.uk) we thought we’d go all cerebral and review some books for you, all of which are kind of linked to us, in that I know two of the authors, they’re either set in Croydon, written by someone from Croydon, or penned by my ex-boyfriend’s mum.

Small Mercy - Tom Dawes (published by AuthorHouse www.authorhouse.co.uk. ISBN: 978-1-4343-4764-0 (sc))

The Last Boat From Danzig - J. Alexander (published by Red’n’Ritten Ltd. ISBN: 9781904278528)

The Masks Of Christ - Lynn Picknett and Clive Prince (published by Sphere. ISBN: 978-1-84744076-1. priced £14.99)

Self published by the author, Small Mercy is a bit of a queer fish. Alternately laugh out loud funny and utterly baffling. Set in a sort of parallel Croydon, where the place names are the same but other bits aren’t, it’s the story of William Stickers and his ownership of a time and space travelling anorak, which draws the attention of various baddies, including a full cast of pirates. Veering between traditional narrative, film-like asides and the occasional big-production-numbersongs, it’s an unconventional read, and the only real problem I have with it is I can’t really see the point. However, as a piece of fun and whimsy set ‘amidst the dreaming concrete spires of everyone’s favourite town, Croydon’ it does, as mentioned, have some very funny moments and is overall an enjoyable, and enjoyably odd, fish. According the cover notes, author Tom Dawes is embarking on

A lot less amusing than our first book, the Last Boat From Danzig is based on real-life events told first hand to the author. The book recounts in powerful and moving detail the story of a normal German family caught up within the regime of Nazi oppression. Beginning in the 1930’s, the traditional, upper-middle-class Christian von Luden family at first struggle with the concept and morality of what the German government is doing to its own people, before realising the horror of events and setting up, at huge rick to themselves, escape lines to other countries for Jews and other persecuted peoples. The family risk their lives in resistance against events, despite one of their number being married to a Nazi officer. As war breaks out, one by one the family are arrested or disappear and by the end, sisters Nina and Claudia are trapped as the Russian

Establishment-baiting authors Lynn Picknett and Clive Prince return to the fray with their fifth outing, a bit of light reading about the existence or otherwise of Jesus. Ok, maybe light reading is a bit much but Picknett and Prince’s style does make it easy to follow the pretty complex themes explored in the book, from the historical and archaeological evidence, or otherwise, of Jesus’ life, to his relationship with his family and both the Jewish and pagan traditions. As the press blurb is keen to point out ‘this book is not intended as an attack on Christianity or the Christ of Faith, but is an assessment of all the historical evidence about Jesus Christ, with some shocking revelations. For the first time, all the various theories and facts about Jesus are considered between the covers of one accessible book’, which is a fair assessment. As balanced as any book on this subject

a sequel, and here’s the crunch - self publishing is a wonderful thing, opening up the world of books to everyone, but I think this particular one would’ve benefited from an impartial editor to make it a leaner read, without detracting from the furious pace the whole thing goes off at. One of my personal bugbears, the book is littered with little gluts of spelling and grammatical errors which I, for one, found quite distracting and a little bit infuriating, but that’s just me, and I expect Tom to ring me up immediately with a list of typos from this magazine, which he’d be within his rights to do. Having said that though, I hope he doesn’t take what is meant wholeheartedly to be constructive criticism to heart as I think he has great potential as a comic author, with great timing and an admirable and witty grasp of the absurd. I look forward to reading the sequel. 6/10

Army closes in, risking their lives again against the SS as they smuggle a band of Jewish children with them in the hope of reaching the last boat from Danzig and safety. Although the tone of the dialogue can sometimes appear a little staid, it is entirely in keeping with the mores and manners of the period, and evocative of the moral and physical struggles endured by the family. Surrounded by death and the destruction of their traditional way of life, J. Alexander admirably brings these lives of over 60 years ago into sharp and oft-times tragic focus. A seldom told tale of resistance by the German people to the horrors of Naziism, and a book which deserves to be widely read. 8/10

could be, it provides a fascinating read for those interested more in historical fact than dogma. Readers of the Da Vinci Code will already, albeit possibly, unknowingly, be aware of Picknett and Prince’s work - they are the first to admit they’re never shy of mentioning that their book, ‘The Templar Revelation: Secret Guardians of the True Identity of Christ’ (1997) was cited as a major influence for that very tome. In ‘The Masks Of Christ’ they continue to mine the ‘alternative history’ genre, challenging established and cultural history and positing well researched and thought out theories as they go. Whether you believe them or not, is, of course, entirely up to you, which is a sentiment it would appear the church should have adopted in the first place. A challenging subject made easy to grasp ad make your own mind up about, The Masks of Christ comes out on July 3rd, 2008. 8/10

immaculate This month’s Rock’n’Roll Q&A courtesy of Feed Me Music comes straight outta Surrey with hard rock songstress iMMa... 1) What was the first single/album you bought? Kylie Minogue (sad but true) [what do you mean sad? We like Kylie! - Ed] 2) Was it vinyl/cassette/CD? Cassette (had a huge bright yellow cassette walkman player) 3) When did you realise that taking over the world with your music was your chosen career path? When I was 13 I had started to sing on stage for the ENO. 4) Did you have a career advisor at school and if so what did they initially suggest? Can't remember I was probably too stoned to listen... 5) What has been the best iMMa gig to date and why? Best iMMa gig has probably got to have been Milan at an open air water park. We were strangers in a different place - yet our music spoke volumes and we were loved and accepted. It was great to see that!! 6) If you could support any band in the world at any venue in the world, who and where? It would be supporting Skunk Anansie for their first comeback gig at Brixton. 7) How many instruments can you play? I can play - 4. Not to a great level - but

can play!! guitar, piano, bass and vocal chords!! 8) Can you read music? Yes, again not amazing - but yes. 9) If your band could cover a particular song, which song do you think it would be? Hhmmm... I have been singing in covers band to earn my crust so with iMMa I will just stick to original thanks....but if i had to maybe a dance track from the 90s?? 10) Who or which band has inspired you the most creatively? Probably Skunk Anansie. 11) Who or which band has inspired your element of 'cool'? Cool?? Really?? Don’t know - I don't think a band have in particular - but I think any artist who is not afraid to express themselves is an inspiration. 12) Have you ever busked in the street? Yes. I tagged on to a Christmas choir once and when I was at school I did some bits. 13) Are you signed yet? No, not yet. 14) Who are the band members and what do they play? iMMa is now just a solo project- so just me!! But I am blessed with great band members who back me up!! They

change a lot as they are all working musicians - but as it stands now we are back to the original four - Jonas – guitar, Giacomo – bass, Doug - drums. 15) Do you believe in ghosts? Yes. I think I saw a Victorian couple watching over me in bed once - seriously freaked me out. Te next day i moved my bed's position - haven't seen them since!! www.myspace.com/immarock

Cin-cin ladies and gents, the time is upon us again for a delightful afternoon of sophistication and a surfeit of silliness. It’s the fifth annual Chap Olympiad...

ou may recall, back in August last year, we ran a most satisfactory article outlining our escapades at the Chap Olympics, the ‘decathlon for the debonair’ where we managed to avoid getting involved in anything exertive and instead were content to avail ourselves of rather a lot of free alcohol. That particular article was written, as you would expect from a review, after the fact. This year, however, we’ve managed to organise ourselves enough to run a preview, so that any of you young bucks or indeed buck-ettes who feel the urge to return to a gentler age and get sloshed at the same time may have the opportunity to do so. It’s British public service broadcasting at its best. The Chap Magazine, whose idea all this is, and in case you’ve forgotten, is a bi-monthly magazine available by subscription or through the better class of news-vendors, which ‘takes a wry look at the modern world through the steamedup monocle of a more refined age. Since 1999, the Chap has been championing the rights of that increasingly marginalised and discredited species... the gentleman. The Chap believes that a society without courteous behaviour and proper headwear is a society on the brink of moral and sartorial collapse, and it seeks to reinstate such outmoded but indispensable gestures as hat doffing, giving up one's seat to a lady and regularly using a trouser press.’ Last year’s event was attended by around 800 people, 99% of whom had made a splendid sartorial effort, from louche linen suits, marvellous moustaches and my mate Barry, pictured, who, quite frankly had excelled himself in full Boer War military regalia. Good work sir. The actual olympiad competition, as is, is possibly the least taxing event in the sporting calendar where perspiration is actively discouraged, ungentlemanly competi-tiveness is frowned upon and distasteful attributes such as sporting ability are eschewed for the altogether more sensible judging criteria of panache, savoir faire and cut of trouser. The events for this year are a closely

guarded secret, but the first appears to be to work out where on earth it’s all happening. According to the website (www.thechap.net) ‘The 2008 Olympiad will be held at a secret location, which guests will be able to deduce only by collecting seven tokens from named Chappish retail outlets in the London area. The clues revealed in each token will add up to a precise description of the coordinates of our Field of Champions for this year. Cracking the co-ordinates will put Chaps' and Chapettes' orientation skills to the test, and will effectively constitute the first Olympic event of the tournament.’ We’ve reproduced the list at the end of this article, along with the utterances you’ll need to acquire your tokens. So once you’ve got your tokens, what can you expect. Well, as mentioned, the event titles haven’t yet been revealed but last year included the ‘Martini Knockout Relay’ an event in which ‘teams compete to mix a dry martini without the aid of a butler’, ‘The Pipe Smokers Relay’, the three trousered limbo, ‘Neck-tie Kwon Do’ - the noble art of trying to Windsor Knot your opponent with fine silk neckwear, ‘Bounders’, Umbrella Hockey, the Steeplechase and the finale of the Freestyle Dash, wherein competitors race around the perimeter on their own vehicles (‘any number of passengers are permitted. Only motorised vehicles and living animals are prohibited’). You can expect a plethora of people with picnic baskets, a host of friendly souls impeccably turned out and a jolly good tongue-in-cheek laugh. So, as we signed off last year, pour yourself a stiff livener, combust youself a shag filled Churchwarden and embrace the absurd. I thank you... These are the emporia to visit, plus the utterances 50

that will secure you a token: • JJ FOX & ROBERT LEWIS 19 St James's Street, London, SW1A 1ES Tel 020 7930 3787 www.jjfox.co.uk - ‘I need a pipe tobacco that will last a hundred yard sprint.’ • LOCK & CO. 6 St. James's Street, London, SW1A 1EF Tel 020 7930 8874 www.lockhatters.co.uk - ‘I'm looking for a bowler hat that will offer protection from flying saucers.’ • R.E. TRICKER 67 Jermyn Street, London SW1Y 6NY Tel 020 7930 6395 www.trickers.com - ‘Which of your brogues would allow for the swiftest getaway from a furious lady?’ • GEO F. TRUMPER 20 Jermyn Street London SW1Y 6HP Tel 020 7734 1370 www.trumpers.com - ‘Could I have my moustache trimmed in the Leslie Phillips style, please?’ • MACKINTOSH 54-55 Burlington Arcade, London, WIJ 0LB Tel 020 7529 5950 www.mackintoshrainwear.com ‘I'm looking for a raincoat that will withstand several hundred spilt martinis.’ • THE CRITERION THEATRE Piccadilly Circus, W1 www.love39steps.com - ‘Is the memory man available? I've forgotten where I left my umbrella.’ • OLD HAT 66 Fulham High Street, London SW6 3LQ Tel 0207 610 6558 ‘My aunt has suggested I invest in a pair of velvet jodhpurs. Can you help her?’ Tokens will be available until the day of the Olympiad. The Chap Olympiad 2008. 1-6pm, Saturday 12th July www.thechap.net

News-hound Pru, it’s all kicking off!

ctually, it’s all exactly the opposite of kicking off, as this year’s winners of the Best Bar None Awards have now been announced (www.croydonbestbarnone.com). The awards, in case you weren’t aware, are driven by Croydon Council in partnership with the Metropolitan Police and ‘seek to establish a standard of excellence within the licensed trade in Croydon. We want to do this to reduce incidents of crime and disorder associated with the consumption of alcohol in Croydon, particularly crimes of violence. We also want to assist in promoting Croydon as a safe environment in which to live, work, visit and socialise.’ As usual, we weren’t invited to the event in any way, shape or form. Never mind though eh, it’s only Deep, who I could point out do nothing but promote Croydon and it’s many licensed premises all effing year round with ne’er a whiff of, well, anything, from the powers that be or even an invite to the awards do, but that would sound bitter. Oh, it did? Well bloody good, it was supposed to. Anyway, despite that unprecedented little outburst, it’s overall a great scheme, and we should all be very proud of everyone who got an award this year, well done you lot! Here are this years winners in full, and congratulations to them all, even the ones that are slightly staggering: Overall Winner - Tiger Tiger Best Pub - Green Dragon

Best Club - Hustler Best Bar - Tiger Tiger Best Pub, Runner Up - Ship of Fools Best Club, Runner Up - Black Sheep Best Bar, Runner Up - Milan Bar Accredited - Walkabout, Hub, Reflex, Goose on the Market, Skylark, Postal Order, Big Slick, Yates, The Crown, Vintage, Loop, The George, Brigstock function Rooms, Moon under Water, The Spread Eagle, The Folly, Pop World, Porter & Sorter, Jolly Farmers, Bar Red Square, Foxley Hatch, William Stanley, Sir Julien Huxley, All Bar One, Tudor Rose, Flora Sands, Wheatsheaf, Victoria Cross, Patrick’s, The Rectory, Crown and Sceptre. Special congratulations, while we’re here, we reckon have to go to the Green Dragon who scooped best pub hot on the heels of their Croydon and Sutton CAMRA (Campaign for Real Ale) Pub Of The Year award last month - they’re obviously doing something right down there. Good stuff. Elsewhere, we’re chuffed to announce that we’ve had word from Paul Davis, who you may recall is the young man from ‘round these parts who’s been making a documentary, entirely off his own back, on ‘An American Werewolf In London’ and whose progress with the project we’ve been keeping up with over the last year or so. He sent us this missive this morning; ‘We did it! Well... a year after our interview and we got the news... the documentary is coming out on Blu-Ray with a re-issue of ‘An American

Werewolf in London’ next year. We held the premier at a Horror convention in Pittsburgh on Saturday and the response was fantastic. With me were John Landis, David Naughton and Griffin Dunne, all of whom were blown away by it.’ Which is fantastic news and we heartily congratulate Paul (see pic below with Landis, Naughton and Dunne) and look forward to seeing the finished documentary. Top work wolfie-fella! For more info visit www.myspace.com/kesslerboy Sticking with film and in ‘friend of Deep’ news, Jess Hynes’ new film ‘Faintheart’, a romantic comedy set in the world of battle re-enactments (strapline ‘May The Norse Be With You’ has had a UK release date set of 12 September 2008. Billed as the world’s first user-generated feature film, being as it was developed largely through myspace in conjunction with Film4 and Vertigo Films as part of an online competition, the film is described as ‘a dry but endearing comedy [which] proves that film making by committee can work’. We’re intrigued, more in the next couple of months, no doubt. www.myspace.com/faintheartthemovie That’s it for another month. Oh, yes Deep magazine news, next month’s cover star will be (barring disasters) David Tennant, talking about playing Hamlet in Stratford. Just thought I’d slip that in for anyone who’s read down this far. That is the end of the transmission, please return to what you were doing...

The Month in Pictures... The end of an era down the Ship and it’s all huggy touchy-feelie at DJ Reverend Geoff’s last Sunday Service. Feel the lurve...

To paraphrase both The Killers and Bill Bailey; ‘I’ve got ham and I am a hamster...’ t’s a hell of day at sea, sir, as this month our new mascot Boris has been reminiscing about his time in the navy (i.e.drinking rum and expounding on the constant threat and or promise, depending on your viewpoint, of random acts of buggery). So, because it was a marvellously hot and sunny day, we plumped to leave it all behind for a life on the ocean wave, or the Thames tide, with a jolly trip to London’s oldest floating pub, The Tattershall Castle. Originally built as a passenger paddlesteamer ferry, the Tattershall Castle, (possibly the least appropriate name for a

partaken of a few too many free Pimms, Boris had embarrassed us all by relieving himself on the canapes and we’d inadvertently hopped on the circle as opposed to the district line on our way home. So we decided to jump off at embankment tube and walk the two minutes to the boat to have a couple of beers in the sunshine before heading home, as we’re wont to do. But anyway, where were we? Oh yes, from its permanent mooring on the Thames, the Tat is a very pleasant place to sit on a sunny afternoon, with splendid views across the river to the London Eye

This month, Boris reminisces about his time in the navy, drinking rum and the threat/promise of random acts of buggery... mode of transport since a plane I once got on called ‘Epping Forest’) worked the River Humber between Hull and New Holland, or to Hull and back, ha ha! from its launch in 1934 right up until 1973, when she was moved to London. In 1975 it was reopened as 'London's first floating Art Gallery and Conference Centre'. Somewhat unsurprisingly, falling profits put an end to this venture six years later, when she was bought and turned into the floating boozer we see today. To be perfectly honest we hadn’t actually intended to visit the Tat on the day in question but we’d been to a swanky press do in Holland Park, had

and on this side, depending on which way round you’re sitting, up to the Houses of Parliament one way and down to St Paul's Cathedral the other. As you’d expect for a venue offering such a vista, it’s popular with tourists and also a bit on the pricey side, drinks-wise, but on the day we went, arriving just after lunchtime, we found a table on the deck immediately and didn’t have to wait too long to be served. A couple of the London website reviews have hinted that the bar-staff are a bit up themselves but I didn’t find this to be the case, although what the service is like on a Friday night remains to be seen (the web reviews also,

incidentally, make mention of the amount of ‘totty’ to be found on the Tat, if that’s your unreconstructed bag). More pressing than the notional contemplation of getting a beer at another time, or of who the hell uses the word ‘totty’ any more, is the imminent need to acquire sea-legs a bit sharpish as, although the castle is moored, it does bob about quite a bit in the wake of the constant river traffic passing by. This makes going to the toilets downstairs something of a seafaring adventure. Basically, if you get sea-sick at all, give it a miss. Luckily, I don’t, but it’s still a touch disconcerting for the first ten minutes or so as your brain attempts to work out what the bloody hell is going on. I also found myself being inextricably drawn to the left (or ‘port-side you berk’ as Boris informed us before falling overboard in a flurry of whiskers and cigar smoke. He’ll be fine, probably) when on manouvres to the bar or below, but we had had a few by then and this may be something that always happens which I’d never noticed before. Either way, it was quite amusing, in a sinister kind of way. As you know, though, we here at Deep are all about the upsides, one of which is that you can get away with some seriously bad dancing at the Tattershall Castle’s below-decks nightclub (more on which later) purely by blaming your unco-ordinated staggerings on the rolling of the waves, which is a touch, if ever there was one.

And there are other advantages to being on a boat in such a prime position, such as this. Picture the scene, you’re in a pub, your companion either goes to the toilet or has to take a phone call. What do you do? Generally, staring at the decor for a bit, playing with your phone, generally looking a bit lost are the main options, but not here, oh no. Aboard the Tat you can simply sit back, soak up the sunshine and do one, or all of these things: watch the people getting on and off of the London Eye when it’s still moving - very amusing when one falls over; raise your glass of ice-cold alcohol to the hordes of tourists sweating their continental arses off on the sight-seeing boats that are passing by (really quite satisfying, in a sadistic kind of way); wave back at said tourists who are inevitably waving at you; watch your mascot hamster attempting to get back on the boat from the water whilst halfpissed. Ok, maybe that last one was a one-off, but if none of that appeals, you could always enjoy the sight of a police boat pulling alongside not so the fuzz can storm aboard and ruin everyone’s fun, but rather to have a chat and a laugh with the crew below, before speeding off to cause a particularly large wake and some serious bobbing about on the ocean wave. It all just goes to prove that there is something inherently relaxing and just

nice about being by a body of water, and especially having a nice drink by a body of water, which is why we’re so keen for Croydon Council to re-flood the Wandle and give us our river back, please. Back on deck and it would appear that there’s more to the Tat than first meets the eye. Following a £4.75m refurbishment, the vessel now contains five bars and a nightclub, as mentioned previously, which runs every Friday and Saturday night, although reviews for this are mixed. The food being served all day however looks good, although we didn’t get a chance to sample it as it would have soaked up the alcohol. The main reason to visit it seems, apart from the deck-side bobbing and drinking, is the Monday night comedy club, which has leaked into Friday and Saturday as well, such is its popularity. According to the ‘Monday Club’ website; ‘The Tattershall Castle has been a premier comedy night in London for over 7 years. Many of comedy's greatest stars have played or started their careers out here including Graham Norton, Jerry Sadowitz, Dylan Moran, Mark Thomas, Harry Hill, Ross Noble, Daniel Kitson, Jeff Green and many, many more. The club is known not only for a great line-up but also for surprising the audience with big names on the night of the show. The club isn't just a favourite of

the crowd, but of comedians as well. Comics love to try out new material because our regular crowd is one of the best on the circuit’. For more details on the comedy night visit www.ckproductions.co.uk/mondayclub where you can join their e-mail list for updates, line-ups and the like. Upcoming events include THE BOAT SHOW on Fridays & Saturdays (Doors 7pm Show 8 - 10.30pm and Nightclub till 3am) Tickets £12/10 concession. THE MONDAY CLUB - Mondays (Doors 7.30pm Show 8.3011pm Bar till 11pm) Tickets £10/8 concession. To Book call 07932 658895 and see this month’s listings for who’s playing. Phew, well, having squeezed that lot in, it’s time for us to head back to dry land, and another ten minutes of wobbling about on the pavement as we reacquaint ourselves with the concept of the floor not moving, before hopping on a bus to Victoria and home to our distressingly water-free home - sitting by a puddle with a can of Tennant’s isn’t quite the same, so we’re happy to add the Tat to our list of nice places to go in the sunshine. The Tattershall Castle - ooh, hello sailor - approved! The Tattershall Castle, Kings Reach, Victoria Embankment, Westminster, London, SW1A 2HR

Cancer Jun 22-Jul 22 Some of the great thinkers of our time have driven themselves to distraction pondering life's great questions. I feel it is my duty to assist in this matter and have such commissioned a new star signs series, following on in the great footsteps of Bert and Ernie, Frank and Hank, mprove Britain's Spelling, Guess the TV programme, Tree Knowledge etc. This one has a working title of Simplifying the serious. The first topic, which has caused so many so much consternation - is the grass greener on the other side? The answer is simple. It depends where you're sitting and what side. Next month, if you can't stand the heat, is it always best to get out of the kitchen? Leo Jul 23-Aug 22 Does anybody else think that Mario from Big Brother looks like Robbie Rotten from the kids programme, Lazytown? Following on from that, would it not be quite stupendously funny if, when he was evicted from the house, the whole audience could somehow be made to wear either masks, costumes or whatever, to illustrate this point to him? Smugness is never really an enviable trait (you would never catch Croydon's celebrity astrologer acting in such a way) and for some reason this chap seems to feel that he is perfectly at ease displaying it in spades. To this I say, newsflash Robbie Rotten man, your time is coming. Virgo Aug 23-Sep 22 What this star sign is foolishly about this month is making an attempt to use every letter in the alphabet, as quickly as possible, without resorting to using random words (such as zoo - that is included as an explanation, and does not count for the purposes of this experiment, although the other words in this explanation do). As soon as I realise that all letters in the alphabet have been utilised, I will cease writing. So, let's see how far we get with this little joke. Taurus Apr 21-May 20 Right, so I was standing in the pub the other day when a friend of mine comes up to me and says: "You know, if you weren't Croydon's most famous and favourite astrologer, I'd still like you." Who needs hangers-on like that I thought to myself so I said to her: "Jolie, your sycophantic ways make me feel right proper sicker than what I felt when I watched 2girls1cup. When are you going to get your own career and stop making your name off mine?"

Pisces Feb 20-Mar 20 It has been brought to the management's attention that some individuals have been using foul and abusive language during the execution of their duties. Due to complaints from some of the more sensitive staff, this type of language can no longer be tolerated. However, the management realizes the importance of staff being able to express their feelings when communicating with other employees. To this end, our Human Resources department has compiled a list of code phrase replacements so that the proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without offence to our more easily offended employees. Here is an example "Tell someone who gives a f**k" becomes "Have you informed the management of this particular problem?" Libra Sep 23-Oct 22 The words in this star sign are coloured in accordance with the following code BLUE NEUTRAL, BROWN LIVE. As the colours of the words in this star sign may not correspond with those in your mind, please proceed as follows. The word coloured BROWN must be connected to the word marked with the word coloured RED. The word coloured BLUE must be connected to the word coloured BLACK. Ensure that all words are connected correctly, if you are in any doubt, consult a qualified star sign. Aquarius Jan 21-Feb 19 My aunt died last month in a freak Yahtzee accident. Well I say accident, she was beating me and was getting really jammy with her doubles, so I threw them the dice at her and it caught her a passing blow in the nasal area. She's a bit of a hypochondriac so she went to the hospital and for some unknown reason they decided to operate. On her kidneys. I don't know whether it was just a simple case of mistaken identity but basically the operation was a complete success and I drove her home a couple of days later. The weird thing was, I saw a friend of mine at the traffic lights and waved but lost control of the car. It didn't actually go anywhere because we weren't on a hill, but after I'd pulled off she just started to annoy me by talking about pelicans. After I'd slapped her round the head with the small bat I keep in the car for such emergencies, she just went really quiet, and well, died to be honest. 60

Aries Up Bottom The From This Read Please

Mar 21-Apr 20

Scorpio Oct 23-Nov 21 In an amazing turn of events, this month sees Frank and Hank replaced...by their wives...(for the purposes of the star sign, not literally for another man) Gemma (WOF): Have you seen Frank? Emma (WHO) Yes. Gemma: Where? Emma: When? Gemma: Whenever? Emma: I've seen him in a lot of places. Gemma: Name one? Emma: Library. Gemma: You saw him in a library? Emma: No, you asked me to name a place so I did. Have you seen Hank? Gemma: Yes, in the library. Emma: Was he with Frank? Gemma: Frank who? Sagittarius Nov 22 - Dec 21 Just in case you were wondering I can confirm that Christmas will be happening again this year, I know, boring, and it will be in December, again. Capricorn Dec 22-Jan 20 Here is a comprehensive list of what I have eaten so far today - one banana (medium size). Incidentally, before I go on, does anybody else bite the top and bottom off the banana and not eat those bits? Just me then, fine, moving on. Next I ate one small orange, which I think consisted of 8 segments. It was not very juicy and as a result, disappointing. Next, a small pear. Again this wasn't very juicy and my disappointment deepened. Finally I have had a salad, consisting of tomato, cucumber, cous cous, rice and spinach, butter beans, noodles, beetroot (diced), carrot and some leaves. I am currently in the process of eating this so cannot provide a full analysis of its merits at this stage. Will confirm next month. Gemini Wait another month...

May 21-Jun 21