Deep-London February 2010 by angela ferrara

deep online at: www.deep-london.co.uk • www.issuu.com • facebook • www.myspace.com/wiredmag • @bonsai_editor

February 2010 Issue Seventy Four Contact Us:

Hello there.. ...and welcome to issue 74. First up this month, do you like the retro cover? There is a story behind it, which, if you’re sitting comfortably, I will relate to you here, in large print, so you can read it to the kiddies as a bed-time story: “Angela

editor: angela ferrara tel: 07910 506197 e: angela@deep-london.co.uk

didn’t like Valentine’s Day. She thought people who did were unbearably smug, and she resented the fact that she’d had to come up with a different ‘romantic’ cover for the past six years. One day, thinking laterally about other things that happen in February, she came across a picture of a pancake race in 1950 showing some lively gels happily tossing away (that picture, above, with the pancakes). “She searched and searched for the origin of the picture and a version in a suitably high resolution to go on the cover. But all her efforts came to nought. Angela felt sad, as she always did when she knew the perfect thing was out there but she couldn’t find it. This set her thinking about the parallels between this and Kierkegaard’s musings on mortality and futility where the life of the ethical is a fruitless task and an impossible achievement, and on Nietzsche, whose madman runs in the street crying "I seek God! I seek God!" except with pancakes. “In the end, Angela gave up and used a cover previously used in February 2004 because it was very late and she couldn’t find anything better, and because one of the lovehearts says ‘Glad Eye’, which made her laugh.” The End. Sleep tight, everyone. There, that’s that done. We like to keep you informed. Elsewhere this month I’ve generally been laughing at the reintroduction into popular culture of the phrase ‘effing and jeffing’, which I hadn’t heard for about 20 years before two weeks ago, been spending a lot of time down at STUFF! Croydon (see Croydonhello!), and generally trying to get back into the swing of things after our hiatus and the Christmas period. As you can tell from this editorial, I’m not quite there yet, but we live in hope. Right, as it is very late, that’s me away to my bed. Have a safe and happy February, everyone, and we’ll see you next month when, by all accounts, spring shoud’ve properly sprung. Oh, and happy Valentine’s day, Pancake day and Chinese New Year. Pip pip, avanti and allons-y! Angela xx your bonsai editor 1

staff and contributors: mystic mike, auntie may, lazy-boy, nick booth, wendy freer, petal dunwoody. croydonhello! editor: nick razzo e: hello@deep-london.co.uk advertising sales: call angela on 07910 506197 or e-mail angela@deep-london.co.uk publishing & design: deep-london web hosting: europahost, 94 southbridge road, south croydon, CR0 1AF, tel: 0845 644 1484. www.europahost.net random thanks: jean, tony, marie, jamie, david, tim, jim, conan,

happy birthday: marie. congratulations: kenny. r.i.p: johnny dankworth, ian carmichael.

GET YOUR EVENT LISTED: e-mail: ANGELA@ DEEP-LONDON.CO.UK what’s on listings are absolutely free!

Last date for inclusion in March issue -

24th February

FEBRUARY 2010

THIS MONTHS FEATURES:

Have a Day Off

Love & Pancakes

The Electrodes

Testing 123

The Agony

CROYDONHELLO!

STUFF Croydon

Meet The Community

10 16

25-28

Postcards from Croydon

Where’s Groove?

Holy Piercings!

News

Stars

Lazy Boy

LISTINGS: What’s On Guide

32 3

We were going to do something about alternative things to do this Valentine’s Day, but I hate Valentine’s Day, so instead we’re doing something about alternative nice days out that may or may not be regarded as romantic...

he days are getting longer, the weather’s getting warmer (or it was when I started that sentence, it’s now bloody snowing again), I’ve just won £85 on the horses, there are finally birds on our window-mounted-bird-feeder (after a mere three months of it being wholly untroubled by birds) and all is well with the world. Oh, and romance is in the air, apparently, but whether you’re loved up or on your own, we reckon it’s time to emerge from the winter shell and get out and about a bit, and thusly here are some ideas for just that. It’s official, Croydon is London’s greenest borough, with more parks and green spaces than anywhere else (take that, Deptford!), so you’re bound to be able to find a quiet spot for a stroll, whether it be simply a park or a space with a bit more to offer, like these. This list is by no means comprehensive, we just wanted to pick an interesting park for different areas, although having looked into it, almost every park has a story, and we’ll no doubt return to this another time. For all parks in Croydon visit - http://doiop.com/parks. Maps of all the parks can be found there too.

A walk in the park I:

Ashburton Park: has a car park, kiddies playground, toilets, bowling green and pavilion, netball, basketball and tennis courts and a ‘petanque terrain’. Located in Addiscombe, at the junction of Lower Addiscombe Road and Spring Lane, the park is on the site of the old Woodside Convent. The original mansion was built in 1788 and underwent several name changes, the estate was known as Byculla Park from 1855 after a suburb of Bombay. The estate changed hands often and at one time was owned by the horse racing celebrity Henry Dorling, whose ‘Correct Card’ all race goers used. In 1878 the Estate became the property of Reverend Father Tooth. He erected the chapel buildings and maintained an orphanage for the sons of gentlemen and later a home for inebriates. After the demolition of the mansion in 1924 the site was developed as a putting green, which after a decline in use was dismantled. The Park was the venue for Croydon Summer Show which was held annually over two days and was open till midnight with illuminations and a ten piece dance band (Oooooo!). Coulsdon Memorial and Ornamental Gardens: has a car park, playground, bowling green, putting green, tennis, basketball and netball court, changing rooms, cricket pitch and a cafe open all year. Located in Coulsdon, Marlpit Lane, Coulsdon Memorial Ground was opened in 1921 At the top of the hill there is a memorial which takes the form of a portico with a rear wall bearing the names of the fallen, with the inscription to the memory of the men of Coulsdon who fell in the Great War 1914-1919. A bronze plaque was added bearing the words and in memory of those who fell in the World War 1939-1945. The Ornamental Garden is at the junction of Marlpit Lane and Chaldon Way and is a small but excellent ornamental garden with lawns, shrub beds, annual bedding displays and a small shelter at one end. Park Hill Park: has tennis courts, a basketball court, a tea room and a walled herb-garden dedicated to Cecily Mary Barker, Croydon-born author of the hugely popular ‘Flower Fairy’ books, which actually is quite romantic. Located between Barclay Road and Coombe Road, it also houses the Water Tower, a Grade 2 listed building built in 1867 and a prominent landmark. The 75 foot diameter structure was built to contain 950,000 gallons of water, its dome being entirely constructed from intricate brickwork. During the First World War the tower's lofty heights were an excellent vantage point for the observation of approaching hostile Zeppelins and other threats. The tower was opened to the public as a viewing platform in 1889 but sadly no longer is. Quite impressive though, nonetheless, and there’s a lot more to this park, to which we shall no doubt return... South Norwood Lake and Grounds: has, as you’d expect, a lake (with sailing (Croydon Sailing Club)), fishing by the day or season ticket, basketball and tennis court, cricket wickets, bowling green with pavilion with toilets, children's playground, woodland and grassland with a stream running through, toilets (including disabled toilets) and changing facilities for babies. Located in South Norwood, (Entrance is in Auckland Road, Woodvale Avenue and Sylvan Road), South Norwood Lake is set in attractive parkland and is the only large expanse of open water in Croydon. The lake is man-made and was built to supply the Croydon canal, which regular readers will know all about.... The lake is fed by springs rising on the hillside where the geology changes and the gravel meets the London Clay beneath. The water is very deep being about 18 feet at the centre, it has no shallow water. A motor boat called the "Skylark" gave members of the public trips around the lake until 1955. There are still boats on the lake but they are now controlled by the Croydon Sailing Club. At one point the area was the largest tennis club in the world with 54 grass courts. Waterfowl can be seen on the lake throughout the year, some of the birds are resident and others are visitors. The birds include many varieties of Ducks, Geese together with Great Crested Grebe, Coot, Moorhen and Gulls. 4

A walk in the park II:

Trumble Gardens: has ornamental gardens, children's playground, toilets, tennis courts. Located in Thornton Heath, Brigstock Road, The site was acquired by the council in 1947/8. Several individual gardens were laid out including a rose garden and an Italian style garden on the road frontage. The gardens were ideally situated beside the Brigstock Road where passers-by could see the ornamental gardens with quiet seating areas and the popular tennis courts. Crystal Palace Park: has a car park, toilets, cafe, National Sports Centre with swimming pool, the Bowl music venue, the site of the old Crystal Palace Exhibition building and its terraces, 200 acres of parkland and some dinosaurs. In fact the world's first 'Dinosaur Park', opened in 1854, six years before Darwin published his Origin of Species. Sir Joseph Paxton, who constructed Crystal Palace Park, collaborated with a team of eminent and visionary men to incorporate within its layout the world's first prehistoric sculptures. This included the renowned Victorian scientist and Professor of Anatomy Richard Owen, who first termed the phrase Dinosauria meaning 'Terrible Lizards'. The display and landscape area depicted a journey through prehistoric time. There were life-size dinosaur statues together with other prehistoric reptiles and mammals, and examples of geology, spanning 350 million years of Britain's evolution. The park has recently re-opened with the dinosaur models and landscape returned to its former glory. The dinosaur park is free to visitors and is found at the South end of the park near the entrance on Thicket Road. More info on Crystal palace Park at www.crystalpalacepark.org Waddon Ponds: has ponds, ornamental gardens, kids playground, toilets, refreshments van. Located in Waddon, access from Waddon Court Road, Mill Lane and The Ridgeway. Today Waddon Ponds is the only place were the River Wandle can be seen in Croydon, although it used to flow from its source near the Swan and Sugarloaf, on the Brighton Road, through the grounds of the Archbishops of Canterbury's Palace and into Wandle Park. Most of Waddon Ponds is given to water-gardens with large weeping willows trailing their pendulous branches in the water. The ponds are fed by springs. When the houses were built at near-by Aldwick Road on Brandy Bottle Hill, west of the pond, traces of Bronze Age and Iron Age Man were found. Remains from the Iron Age were also found on the sandy slopes of Alton Road to the east of the ponds. A variety of waterfowl can be seen on the water including ducks and coots. Coombe Wood: has woodland and ornamental gardens, car parking, cafe and toilets, also a shelter in the gardens, small pond and waterfall. Located at the junction of Coombe Lane and Conduit Lane, the 14 acres of Parkland were opened to the public in 1948. The area had been open over four hundred years ago when it was part of an estate with a large common field known as Coombe Field which stretched from Coombe Road to Park Hill. The Garden is divided into a series of ‘rooms’ which together give an all year round display of shrubs and plants set against a backdrop of mature woodland. The brick arch between the pond and the terrace garden leads to the stable yard and stables which house the horses used by the Parks Departments Rangers who patrol the large areas of public woodland in the south of the borough. The cafe at the rear of the yard provides refreshment for visitors.

Animals are our friends I:

The field of animal sporting endeavour.

Wimbledon Dog Track: Always a fantastic night out, Wimbledon Dog Track is at the moment running some pretty spectacular offers to get you, the punters, in there. Go to http://2for1dogs.com/ enter your date of birth etc, pick ‘Wimbledon’ from the menu and have a look. Current deals are: 2 people get admission and 1 racecard for £1. Punter Deal - Admission, Racecard, Drink, £2 Tote Bets. £10 for 2 people (offer available in multiples of 2 people). Super 6 Pack - Admission, Racecard, £3 Drinks Voucher, £2 Tote Betting Voucher, £5 Fast Food Meal Voucher, Return Offer (£5.00 off a Restaurant 3 Course Meal) = £8.00 per person. They also have deals on their restaurant meals. Simply select an offer, select a date, print off a voucher and get along for an evening of doggie action... There’s also a track just outside Brighton running similar deals. Horse Racing: A great day out (even my mate Fergus, who has no interest in horseracing, enjoyed it), there are several racetracks within striking distance of Croydon; Plumpton, Epsom, Brighton and Lingfield all have direct train links from East Croydon. All run occasional and various offers for various meetings. For more info visit: http://plumptonracecourse.co.uk, www.epsomderby.co.uk, www.brightonracecourse.co.uk, www.lingfield-racecourse.co.uk. There’s also Sandown, Ascot, Kempton, the list goes on. Prices vary track to track and for which enclosure you go for, but they all have dining facilities, bars, parade rings where you can look at the horses before they go out to do their thing and a whole lot more such as live music evenings, firework displays etc, and Lingfield has a golf course next door. Marvellous fun!

Animals are our friends II:

Why not visit a zoo or two....

Beaver Waterworld: Regular readers may recall we did quite a big piece on Beaver Waterworld a couple of years back, and it’s still there, doing its thing: Beaver Waterworld is a Registered Charity whose aim is to rescue and care for mistreated, unwanted and rare reptiles and other animals. As well as a spectacular range of reptiles, crocodiles and snakes, it has, as you would expect, beavers (a lot bigger than you’d think they are), a load of birds (including a magnificent Eagle Owl) soft squishy things such as chinchillas, and tortoises, turtles, terrapins, amphibians, rabbits. It’s a right old smorgasboard, is what we’re saying. Oh, and they’ve a nice cafe and art gallery. They run an adoption system wherein your Adoption/Sponsorship subscription will contribute to the care, feeding, and ongoing veterinary care and help to build better enclosures to help rescue more needy animals. The centre is open every day from 10am to 5pm and is just £4 for adults and £3 for children. That, I think you’ll agree, is a bloody bargain, so get along and support this worthwhile endeavour at Waylands Farm, Approach Road, Tatsfield, Nr. Westerham, Kent, TN16 2JT. More info from: www.beaverwaterworld.com Deen City Farm: A short walk from Merton Abbey Mills, over Phipps Bridge, Deen City Farm is another registered charity, with Alpacas, birds, pigs, cows, other smelly things, a horse-riding school, gardens, a cafe and farm shop (feed for the animals as well as eggs, souvenirs etc etc), educational resources and again, a sponsorship programme. Open 10am to 4.30pm Tuesday to Sunday (closed on Mondays except on Bank Holiday Mondays), entry is FREE but they rely on donations so don’t be a cheapskate. For more info visit: www.deencityfarm.co.uk. Address: 39 Windsor Avenue, Merton Abbey, London, SW19 2RR, Tel:020 8543 5300. Phipps Bridge Tram stop is about a ten minute walk from the farm. Surrey Hills Llamas: “You too can spend a romantic Valentines Day with a llama and a glass of champagne” Not my words, readers, but those of Surrey Hills Llamas. They also say: “Imagine having your very own llama for a day walking in the outstanding natural beauty of the Surrey Hills, with it's unique flora, fauna and history. Our gentle and friendly llamas will carry your picnic as you lead them through the spectacular North Downs from the high points of which you can see as far as the English Channel. Llamas are affectionate, intelligent and alert and will draw your attention to things you would never normally notice.” That’s it, we’re in! The treks aren’t cheap but by God they look like fun, from winter morning treks to overnight camping treks. Check out the prices and more details here: www.surrey-hills-llamas.co.uk. Surrey Hills Llamas, Guildford.

Yes, but is it a sport? I: Crazy Golf: Another new one to us but it too sounds great! “Jurassic Encounter Adventure Golf is an 18 hole Florida Styled miniature golf course with a Jurassic theme that has to be seen to be believed. The course is designed by an American with over thirty years experience in the industry and the designer and builder of over 50 world class adventure golf courses. Jurassic Encounter Adventure Golf is a beautifully landscaped and gives players the chance to putt past cascading waterfalls, over island greens and through prehistoric caves and even meet some Jurassic friends from the past (9 near life sized animatronic dinosaurs that move and roar) so get your family or friends together and come down for an unforgettable golfing adventure.” Prices: Adults £8.00, School students (14 and under) £6.00, Family pass 2x adults 2x school students £24.00, Family pass 1x adult 3x school students £24.00, Second round same day half price. Summer Hours (May – October) Monday - Friday 9am -9pm, Weekends and Public Holidays 9am-9pm. Winter Hours (November – April) Monday - Friday 10am -9pm, Weekends and Public Holidays 9am-9pm (weather permitting). World of Golf, Beverley Way, New Malden, KT3 4PH - 020 8949 9200. www.jurassicencounter.com / www.worldofgolf-uk.co.uk Go-Karting I: Get yourself on the starting grid at Croydon and take part in an amazing session of top class karting. The excellent circuit has been designed to test drivers of all levels! Superb quarter mile circuit. There is ample off road parking space for both cars and coaches. Floodlighting means they can race day or evening (in both wet and dry weather). From about £38 per person. Visit the website for full details and prices: www.karting-nation.co.uk Go-Karting II: “Here at Traq Go karting Surrey, we pride ourselves on being the best at providing and the cheapest Go karting and Quad bikes in London and Surrey. *NEW* Minimoto hire - the only Minimoto hire in London and Surrey. Home to The Surrey Minimoto Club. We have had over 35 years experience in Motor sport Karting and Quad biking business in London & surrey and have put all this in to providing fun and safe racing for experienced and the beginners alike for all ages groups starting at 4 years old upwards to grown ups. We have 2 off-road tracks for Quad bikes and off road bikes and minimotards the ultimate outdoor fun in motor sports. A purpose built tarmac race track great for go karts and Minimoto's and a challenging track for all levels of skill. Traq outdoor Activity centre is ideal for all the family. Whether it be arrive and ride or and organised event, we can cater for all. At Traq we have a wide range of motor sport possibilities from the quick go karts to the experience of the off-road quad bikes and rally karts & Minimoto's. We have ample off road parking and coaches are also welcome. Jessops Way, Mitcham, Surrey, CR0 4TS. Tel: 020 8665 0222. For full details and prices etc visit: www.quadbikeracing.com 6

Yes but is it a sport? II: Zorbing: Is it a sport? Is it a pastime? Is it careening down a hill in a transparent inflated plastic ball? Er, yes, it’s the last one. London's premier zorbing site is located just 10 minutes walk from Whyteleafe South train station. The zorbing venue is located in picturesque woodland at the top of salmons lane with a great viewing area from which you can watch your friend or family member experience the new craze that is Zorbing! The site doesn’t open until April but we thought we’d include it anyway... More info from: www.zorbing.co.uk. Salmons Lane, Whyteleafe, Surrey, CR3 0HB Skiing / Snowboarding: Ok yes, that IS a sport... “At Bromley Ski Centre we welcome all standards of skiers and snowboarders as well as spectators and those just wishing to visit the bar (yay!). Whether you are a beginner learning to snowplough or a regular snow skier you will find our facilities among the finest in the region. The 120 metre main slope is served by 2 lifts and has a mogul run designed to test even the most accomplished skier. For beginners our nursery slope has the ideal gradient for you to quickly learn to ski safely and in control. The Centre is open 12 months of the year, so why not give us a ring and book some lessons or simply turn up for recreational skiing. You can save precious time on snow by improving your technique with us. After skiing, relax in our fully licensed bar with catering facilities that offer a selection of hot and cold meals. If you are 6 or 60 there is something for everyone at Bromley Ski Centre.” More info from www.c-v-s.co.uk/bromleyski. Sandy Lane, St Pauls Cray, London, BR5 3HY, Phone: 01689 876812

Other:

Stuff that doesn’t really fit anywhere else...

Chislehurst Caves: Chislehurst Caves are a labyrinth of dark mysterious passageways which have been hewn by hand from the chalk, deep beneath Chislehurst. There are over 20 miles of caverns and passageways, dug over a period of 8000 years. The vast complex of caves are a maze of ancient mines originally carved out in the search for flint and chalk. They are divided into three main sections, Saxon, Druid and Roman. Each section was later connected by digging joining passages. The last time the mines were known to have been worked was around the 1830's when the Saxon section was used by a flintmaker and limeburner. The local railway made the mines more accessable in 1865, and this aided its formation as a tourist attraction. The caves also became the setting for several underground concerts in the early 1900's. During the 1914 World War the mines became part of Woolwich Arsenal, used as an ammunitions depot. A narrow gauge railway was installed to aid the transport through the passages. Up until the outbreak of the Second World War the mines were used by the Kent Mushroom Company. The war and the constant bombings over London turned the caves into a massive air raid shelter within easy reach from London and its main suburbs. The caves again became a major tourist attraction early last century. The Caves are also used as a film location and have been used by the BBC and independent film companies. "Doctor Who and the Mutants" with John Pertwee, Insemenoid, Bliss, Neverwhere and Randall & Hopkirk (deceased) have all been filmed at the caves. Most of the subterranean scenes in the popular BBC series "Merlin" were also filmed here. Facilities include: Guided tours, Gift Shop, Ample Free Car & Coach parking, Licensed Restaurant, Schools, Groups and kids parties, Evening and private tours, Speaker services. Prices for normal tour are Adults £5 ~ Under 16's and OAP's £3. The Caves are open from Wednesday to Sunday and the 45 minute guided tours start hourly. The first tour is at 10am and the last at 4pm. During local school and Bank Holidays (except Christmas and New Year) we are open every day. More info from: www.chislehurstcaves.co.uk. Chislehurst Caves, Caveside Close (near the "Bickley Arms" pub), Chislehurst, BR7 5NL, 020 8467 3264. Winemaking: Not strictly a day out, but interesting nonetheless: The Urban Wine Company: “Grow grapes on a vine in your own garden, terrace, allotment or balcony, with our help and guidance and we will help you produce vineyard quality wine from the crop. It’s as simple as that! We’ll help you plant, cultivate and crop your own vine, in fact we’ll supply the vine if you do not already have one (or even provide you a second one if you want to grow another variety). We provide on going advice to help you get the best results and highest yield from the vine. Then we’ll collect the harvest, use professional wine making techniques and deliver you wine that you can be proud of. The Urban Wine Company acts as a collective for local growers all over London and the South East. It’s great fun, members meet at tastings and events and you will meet kindred spirits in your local area and make friendships within a community of wine.” www.urbanwineco.com. See also for wine and beer making: www.cheerswinemakingandbrewing.co.uk, 94 Priory Road, Sutton, SM3 8LN, 020 8644 0934 “UK’S MOST ENTHUSIASTIC HOME BREW SHOP”

here, you see, there’s loads to do out there, and to be honest we don’t really care if you do any of them or not, or even if you found any of this interesting, because we did, and we’ve learned about Llama treks and giant animatronic dinosaurs putting us off our golf swing, and that you can hurtle downhill in Whyteleafe, and learn to snowboard in Bromley. Every day’s a day in school here, innit. Oh, and if anyone does spend Valentine’s day with a llama and a glass of champagne please let us know how it went. I thank you. 8

Croydon’s answer to Fanny and Johnny are back with some topical recipes for February...

ood lovers of the world rejoice, February is upon us bringing with it not one but three, count ‘em, opportunities for officially sanctioned face-stuffing in the form of pancake day, Valentine’s day and the Chinese New Year! Huzzah! Oddly, this year, Chinese New Year and Valentine’s fall on the same date, February 14th (although the official New Year celebrations in London don’t take place until the 21st), with pancake day coming hot on their heels just two days later on the 16th. So, with that in mind, we’re here to provide you with some recipes for all three events, some of which overlap, some of which don’t, all of which were tested personally by our in-house chefs with the aid of suitably topical cocktails. Here we go then: --------------------------------------First up - pancakes. Who’d have thought something so simple could be made so complicated - have a look on the web at all the different recipes. One of them suggests you leave the batter for THREE HOURS before using it. Balls, we say - follow this recipe or do what we normally do and wing it. Pancakes Makes about 8 pancakes, excluding the first one which is always rubbish. You will need: 120g plain flour, 2 Eggs, 300ml Milk, oil for frying. Method: 1) Sift the flour into a bowl and make a well in the centre. Add the eggs and beat with a whisk or fork. Gradually beat in the milk, drawing in the flour from around the edge until you have a smooth batter. You can choose to rest the

batter for half an hour, if you have the will-power. We do not. 2) Heat a little oil in a frying pan, spread it around with a bit of kitchen roll or by wiggling (the pan, not you). 3) Pour in enough batter to thinly coat the base of the pan. Cook until golden on the underside. TOSS, TOSS LIKE THE WIND and cook the other side until golden. 4) Transfer to a plate, add sugar and lemon, roll up and snaffle. 5) Repeat. Easy life.

--------------------------------------Next up is a Valentine’s thing, and as regular readers may know from our aphrodisiac special a while back, bi-valve molluscs (ooh, sexy) like

oysters are considered an aphrodisiac, so get ‘em, open ‘em, bung lemon on ‘em, eat ‘em. Garlic is also an aphrodisiac, so why not combine the two? Also has the added benefit that you’ll reek of garlic so are unlikely to cop off with anyone else... 10

Garlic Baked Oysters An olde Italian recipe, serves 2 (6 oysters each). You will need: 12 fresh oysters, shucked (opened and taken out of their shells. You can buy de-shelled oysters if that’s easier, which it is, and less dangerous than mucking about with knives trying to open the buggers) and rinsed well, 3 tablespoons butter + 1 teaspoon for greasing casserole dish 1 clove garlic, minced 1/2 cup dry unseasoned breadcrumbs 1-2 tablespoons freshly grated parmesan cheese 2 teaspoons chopped fresh parsley salt and pepper to taste. Method: 1) Preheat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit / 200 C / Gas Mark 6. 2) Butter a small casserole dish, or for individual servings use ramekin dishes. 3) In a small skillet, melt the butter. Add garlic and breadcrumbs and saute over medium heat until mixture is golden and slightly crumbly. 4) Remove from heat and stir in the parsley. 5) Spoon a thin layer of the breadcrumb mix into the casserole dish, bung oysters on top in one layer. 6) Spoon rest of mixture over oysters and sprinkle with parmesan. Bake oysters in the preheated oven until bubbly and lightly browned about 15 minutes. Serve warm. --------------------------------------Time for a drink I think... La Vie En Rose Cocktail You will need: 1 shot gin, 1/2 shot orange liqueur, 1/4 shot syrup rose

cordial, pink champagne, rose petals to decorate. Method: 1) Place a handful of crushed ice into a jug. Add the gin, orange liqueur and rose syrup and stir well. 2) Pour the Champagne into a flute glass and strain the spirit mixture over the Champagne. Decorate with a rose petal and serve.

--------------------------------------Strawberry Kiss Cocktail You will need: 1 Measure White Rum (Bacardi) 1 Measure Disaronno Amaretto 4 Strawberries (If you can’t get fresh strawberries substitute 2 scoops of strawberry ice cream instead) 1 Measure Double Cream Method: 1) Blend all ingredients together with ice until smooth. 2) Pour into a wine glass 3) Garnish with a fresh strawberry on the rim, if you like. --------------------------------------Champagne Cocktail You will need: 1 sugar cube, 2-3 dashes Angostura bitters, Champagne, 1 oz (= 1 shot) brandy, orange slice and or maraschino cherry for garnish Method: 1) Place the sugar cube in the bottom of a Champagne flute. 2) Use the dashes of Angostura bitters to saturate the sugar cube. 3) Add the brandy. 4) Fill with Champagne. 5) Garnish with the orange slice and cherry. --------------------------------------Death By Chocolate Cocktail You will need: 2 scoops chocolate ice cream, 1 oz (= 1 shot) chocolate syrup, 1 oz coffee liqueur, 1 oz dark crème de cacao, 1 oz vodka, whipped cream for topping, maraschino cherry for garnish. 1 cup crushed ice

Method: Pour all the ingredients into a blender. Blend until smooth. Pour into a stemmed glass such as a hurricane glass or wine glass. Top with whipped cream. Garnish with the maraschino cherry. --------------------------------------Back to the food, and a couple for Chinese New Year, starting with, because it’s the year of the tiger, tiger prawns - see what I did there... Seared Tiger Prawns with Garlic, Chilli and Lemongrass You will need: 12 large raw Tiger Prawns peeled and deveined - leave tail shell on 3 peeled Garlic Cloves 2 deseeded red Chilli's 2 Stalks Lemongrass 2.5cm piece fresh root Ginger peeled 5 tablespoons Olive Oil Sea Salt, Pepper Method: 1) Put the tiger prawns in a shallow dish. 2) Pound the garlic, chillies, lemongrass and ginger together using a pestle and mortar, gradually adding the olive oil until you have a rough paste (or whizz briefly in a blender). 3) Season with salt and pepper.Baste the prawns with the spice paste and leave to marinate in a cool place for 2-3 hours. 4) Cook the marinated prawns on a hot barbecue for 4-6 minutes, or under a grill (you can bung them on skewers if preferred - if using wooden skewers, soak in water beforehand so they don’t catch fire), turning, until they turn pink and feel slightly firm to the touch – don’t overcook. 5) Serve at once, with a flavoured vinaigrette, soured cream or tomato salsa.

--------------------------------------And a final recipe, just a bit of fun, for home-made fortune cookies, and seeing as though, as mentioned 12

before, Chinese New Year officially falls this year on Valentine’s day, why not combine the two by putting sensitive, love-filled messages inside your cookies such as ‘you will die alone and penniless’ - who wouldn’t love to receive one of those!? Home Made Fortune Cookies You will need: 1 egg white, Two drops vanilla extract, 1 pinch salt, 1/4 cup flour, 1/4 cup sugar Method: 1. Write or print out custom fortunes on strips of white paper about 3 inches long by 1/2 inch wide. 2. Preheat the oven to 400F (200 C / Gas Mark 6) and grease two baking sheets. 3. Beat the egg white and vanilla until foamy. In a separate bowl, combine the flour, salt, and sugar and stir gently into the egg white mixture to form the batter. 4. Drop batter by teaspoonfuls onto the first baking sheet, making the shapes as round as possible (about 4 inches in diameter). Leave at least 3 inches in between cookies and bake only a few at a time (they must be hot while shaping them). 5. Put the baking sheet into the oven and bake until lightly golden, about 5 minutes. As the first batch is baking, prepare the next sheet. 6. Remove the first baking sheet from the oven and immediately lift one of the cookies with a spatula and turn upside down onto a wooden board. Place the fortune in the middle of the cookie and fold the cookie in half. Next, place the folded edge across the rim of a cup and pull the pointed edges down, one on the inside of the cup and one on the outside. 7. Place the cookies in small paper cups or in an egg carton so that they hold their shape until cool.

The return of the 20 question interview and this month we Go Mad, Dave, with...

) First off - introduce yourselves. We are THE ELECTRODES a nucleus of John Donegan and Mick Harty. It’s John (singer/guitarist) answering the questions. 2) For the uninitiated, describe your music. A mixture of 50's, Small Faces, Pop,Soul and Reggae. 3) What's the best gig you've played so far and why? The Ship, Croydon in December 09. A beautiful blonde girl got on stage and started kissing me!! 4) And the worst? Kings Head, Acton, July 09. Borrowed some amps and the bass amp was the size of a match box. 5) Best gig you're ever been to as a punter? Brendan Shine at The Fairfield Hall in November 09. 6) Best gig you ever missed as a punter? Status Quo, in the room next to

Brendan Shine the same night!! They sounded fantastic. 7) Musical heroes? J. S. Bach. 8) Musical villains? The Beatles. 9) If you could travel back in time, which decade would you land in? 1920's. 10) What is your most unappealing habit? Talking to myself!! 11) Which living person do you most admire and why? Victoria Beckham (My style guru). 12) Which living person do you most despise and why? Cheryl Cole. Talentless rubbish. 13) Would you rather be ugly and clever, or stupid and attractive? Ugly and clever, but with hair straighteners. 14) What was the first record you ever bought? Theme to Dads Army by Bud Flanagan.

15) Who would you invite to your dream dinner party? Alex Higgins and Katherine Jenkins. If Alex upset Katherine, I could put my arm around her and comfort her. 16) How often do you have sex? No sex, just kissing. 17) What is your fancy-dress costume of choice? A centipede. 18) Where's the party at? The Windmill Pub, Croydon. 19) What are you doing today? Looking for a new drummer!! (I gather they’ve found one now - a man called George - Ed) 20) What's in the pipeline? Tour of The Isle of Wight over Easter (starts 2nd April) the usual gigs and recording and maybe some dancing at Reflex nightclub! The Electrodes new album “Go Mad, Dave!” is out now. For more info and to have a listen visit: www.myspace.com/leelectrodes

I like a bit of rock music, I like acoustic floatiness, I also like a bit of hip-hop, but which is best? There’s only one way to find out...

h yes, it’s that time of year again when our finest unsigned talent, some veterans, some annoyingly young, take to the Braithwaite Hall stage and have a big old musical bunfight to see who will be crowned Croydon’s Best Unsigned Act 2010. It’s Testing 123 time! This year as usual six entries from three categories, Singer Songwriter, Band and Hip-hop / R’n’B will battle it out though a heat each and a grand final in order to win a host of prizes including recording sessions, a spot at the Croydon Summer festival and an article in this very organ. Also this year as usual, some of the entries make me feel very old (you were born in 1993!?!?!) but never let it be said that Croydon doesn’t have any young emerging talent, as this competition has proved over the last few years. And kudos to Croydon Council (Jenny and Davina in particular) for giving them the chance to showcase it in front of some pretty heavyweight judges from the music industry. Anyway, this year’s competition runs from the 16th to the 20th of February, costs just £3 to get in for the heats and a fiver for the final, is always an eye-opener and consistently throws up at least a couple of people with genuine talent, which is why we always try to get along ourselves. Here’s a brief preview of who’s playing this year. And no, we don’t know what the obligatory cover-version each act has to perform is going to be, but if it’s anything like the last few, then that’s alone is well worth the entry fee...

Singer Songwriters Heat One - 16th February 2010 Visionary Heights Visionary Heights is an acoustic act that comprises acoustic guitarist Phill Jones (Phillycheese) and singer songwriter Evie Fishman. They met in Croydon College in 2009 and got together to do an acoustic session, found out that the sound they were producing was quite nice so decided to become Visionary Heights. They haven’t yet performed to a live audience. They say that they work hard at making an unique modern acoustic sound with Evie’s lyrics and melodies set to Phill’s arrangements. Melodic Janelle Janelle first realised she had a talent for music at the age of 14. She lists her inspirations as soul and gospel and has performed at venues around the world including the Hard Rock Cafe, Cochrane Theatre, and Bob Marley Tribute Restaurant in Florida to name but a few. She’s also sung at the Notting Hill Carnival and the Global gathering. She’s currently working on an EP to

be released later this year and is also studying music and live events management. Janelle says she is ‘planning to take the music industry by storm’. www.myspace.com/melodicjanelle Joe Hood Guitarist / pianist Joe studied music at the Royal College of Music and Oxford University but dropped out halfway through his course to tour Spain with a Basque band. He’s been described by Dazed and Confused Magazine as ‘brilliant’, ‘original’ and ‘impossible to define’. He was also voted one of the top ten new songwriters in Music Week Magazine this year. Born, bred and educated in Croydon, he still lives here but gets about a bit, having just come back from Tokyo where he played in ‘Japan Music Week’. Blimey. Rhys Williams Enigmatically, we haven’t got any more info on Rhys apart from the fact he does vocals and plays guitar, and he has a brother who plays drums and does vocals. Oh, and a photo. Textbook enigmatic that. We shall have to wait and see... Peter Walsh Peter has participated in Testing 123 on 2 separate occasions and says he’s ‘practically addicted to the adrenalin rush’ that it provides. In the summer Peter entered an early mix of his song ‘Wired’ into the 2009 songwriting competition and was rewarded with a semi-final placing. Live performance is still his favourite medium and he enjoys

bands but during a class task formed a group. They use live acoustic guitar to create a more soulful feel along with beatboxing instead of live drums. Everyone has an input both live and in production with Elijah and Tyson both writing lyrics. They’re very close, whcih shows in their stage presence. They hope to leave college and carry on doing music.

meeting and encouraging the other participants. He has an eclectic range of styles - the current collection of songs he has been writing have a distinctive pop feel. Peter tries to tell a story with his songs and communicate on an emotional level. He assures us that he is not really that twisted and his ambition for 2010 is to write a happy song. He’s been performing at a number of venues throughout 20009 and hopes to build on that live scene with an appearance at esting 123. www.myspace.com/ peterwalshsongs. Megan Davis Megan was recommended to enter Testing 123 by her singing teacher. Megan started to have a passion for music at the age of 12. She started to play the piano and then began singing lessons to achieve her dream. She has performed at various local events. Megan has a rich, sultry alto voice ideally suited to r’n’b. Her influences range from Joss Stone to Nina Simone. Hip Hop / R’n’B Heat Two - 17th February 2010 Soul Glo is a soul / R’n’B group who have come up with ‘quite an abstract style’. The four members are Elijah (singer/guitars/keys), Tom (singer/beat-boxer/percussionist), Tyson (singer/keys/rapper) and Rachel (keyboardist). They met at Croydon College a year ago where they’re studying Music Technology. They’ve all played in different

[unKnown] The band began when they all met at Croydon College Music Tech course in September. They began covering songs but soon decided to create their own. The lineup is Evie (singer), Frankie (rapper), Jeauneil (piano), Gordon (drums) and Dan (bass). Evie has been writing songs since she was 8 and has written and sung all the band’s tracks. She is extremely versatile, ranging from jazz to rock, and has sung at a large range of venues. She loves to have the support of the guys in the band. Frankie has recently moved to Upper Norwood from the USA (insert joke here) and brings an unique and original rap style to the tracks. Jeauneil is a talented and adaptable pianist who has helped Evie arrange their music. Gordon is the drummer with over 5 years experience. He plays in his local church and has toured to places such as Rochester Cathedral. Dan is the newest addition to the band, originating from Madrid, Spain, who adds another influence to the band. Natural VybeZ “London’s Hip-hop supergroup” Natural VybeZ consist of H-Dot, Jynx, Sane, S.I., Akim and Krouza. Having been solo artists, parts of various collaborations and bands and generally hanging out together the group Natural VybeZ came together officially in late summer last year when their name was agreed on as a byword for their desire to ‘be yourself, to be natural’. Since then they have been constantly working hard, recording 18

all the time and making music. They strongly believe they are Croydon’s best unsigned act because they have ‘soul, talent and diversity’. Peter Croucher At last, someone not at Croydon College, Peter heard about Testing 123 through the internet and says “Since my mum passed away I’ve found my passion for making music. It helps me come to terms with what has happened and also helps me to express myself. I have used this new-found talent to help me through and I hope that it helps others by listening to the words.’ Peter writes all the songs and has made over 500 tracks, constantly writing and making them at home, and we wish him the best of luck in the competition. Fobiah Kadeem Boyce, more commonly known on the hip-hop scene as Fobiah, has been interested in writing and performing lyrics from an early age. He has ‘experienced all the ups and downs of life, making him an intelligent young man with many stories to tell’. Being from a mixed ethnic background (Bajan and Malyasian) he says allows him to explore various musical styles and perspectives and thus he has wide influences from 50 Cent to Tupac to Kalib Kweli. Fobiah says he brings an unique sound to the UK rap scene. Trixta is Clive Campbell - vocals and DJ Ripper - CDJ, turntables and desks. Originally from Hammersmith, and a very musical family, at the age of 7 Trixta was keen to learn the skills of mixing and scratching and was taught by his stepfather how to DJ. Heavily influenced by the UK Drum’n’Bass scene and also the top MCs of the time, Trixta was motivated to write his own lyrics. He’s performed on pirate radio stations and was asked to join a newly formed group called Lyrikal

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Assassins. They began performing at raves and talent competitions and developed a strong reputation. Trixta honed his stage performance and writitng ability, which led to him recreating himself as a solo artist. He’s since teamed up with two producers, Dean Anthoni and Vex Music to form Platinum Vybes Entertainment. With the wheels in motion, Trixta released his first solo project which included the singles ‘Trik-Dee-Zie’ and ‘I Miss U’, both of which managed to make it onto mainstream radio. At present Trixta is working on new material with a fresh and funky sound. Bands Heat Three - 18th February 2010 Strange Blues Were formed at Croydon College in August 2008 where they were studying for Music Technology Diplomas. They describe their music as “..both jazz and blues together with a strange tip of folk music” The line up is: Tina Richards - Vocals Hanna Tailleur - Guitar Jeaneil Babtist - Keyboards Justin Prentice - Bass Guitar Elijah Ajose - Drums. Hanna has been playing for over 10 years and has a great input with arrangements, adventurous solos and her all round dedication. Elijah is a skillful drummer and multi instrumentalist - this allows him to adapt to a wide range of musical styles. Justin is actaully a guitar player but he’s changed to bass for Strange Blues. He comes from a rock background but exploits his funky side for the band. Jeanell is an experienced keyboard player who has a talent for creating colourful, unique sounds. Queasy Fish Queasy Fish started working together in September and are again from the Croydon College Music Tech Course (and some of them are in other acts here too, they get about a bit, these kids, don’t they?). Queasy Fish started

out as a fun rock/funk workout, then Evie began to write lyrics and melodies and the band was formed. The members are: Phil - Bass, Evie - Singer / Songwriter, Arix - Guitar, Sam Guitar, Gordon - Drums. Phil leads the band; in addition to playing bass he uses his talents to play guitar and drums. Evie writes the lyrics and tunes and is excited to see what the others can create from them. Arix is a great guitar player and a great joker. Little ‘Carter’ Sam is also a strong guitar player who also plays drums. Gordon is the drummer but also the main organiser. They say ‘Without him we wouldn’t have got onto Testing 123.’ He also mixed the demo - a man of many talents. Soul Reflex Is a mix of jazz, soul and blues in one. They say ‘We are a collaboration of musicians from different genres. For example, our lead singer is into rock, lead vocalist is into soul/r’n’b, so our music is very different to many other bands. We were formed from a jammimg session at Croydon College. Bianca is a soul singer and the other members reflected on that to create a whole new sound.’ They are: Bianca Rennie, vocals, Mike Horley guit and producer, Phill Jones bass, Gordon Hall drums, Reiss Goodridge keys and Sam Carter acoustic/electric guitar. Oil On Canvas Is described as a ‘bundle of friends’, Rob, Rafael, Tommy and Jay, having fun making ‘the best music they are capable of’. Almost by chance they found each other in London and quickly focussed their efforts to achieve ‘dreamlike goals’. After 3 albums they have caught the attention of national television, press and radio. They describe themselves as having unforgettable songs, great live performances and determination. They have set up their own label, Riverbank Records, to release their tunes. They say 20

they are ‘blessed with talented friends who have helped to record, photograph, film and keep the spirits flying high’. Bless. The Unready Are Rob (lead singer/rhythm guitar), Sam (lead guitar/backing vocals) and Olivia (bass guitar/backing vocals). They formed in November 2005 and started gigging in the Croydon area (Cartoon/Black Sheep). They still rehearse at Scream Studios in Croydon but their gigging career has taken them to numerous venues such as The Purple Turtle, Bar Music Hall and the Metro Bar. In 2007 the band performed at the Jack Wills Varsity Polo at Ascot and their music is fatured on one of Jack Wills’ videos (www.jackwills.com). In 2008 the band reached the quarter finals of the ‘Surface Unsigned Competition’, getting favourable reviews. Most recently they played their biggest gig yet at the IndigO2. For a sneak preview, this just in: the chaps are playing a semi-acoustic show at Liquid Nation in London’s West End on Thursday 11th Feb. Doors open at 7pm and The Unready are due on stage at about 9.30pm, “but come down earlier if you can and support the other bands on the bill.

That’s your lot - there were a couple of unconfirmed acts at time of going to print who we haven’t got in here, but we’ve put in as much of the acts’ biogs that they sent in as possible. We wish them all luck, and we hope to see you lot out there at the bar at the heats and the final supporting emerging talent. Go unsigned people, go!

Septuagenarian agony aunt cum rock mutton Auntie May has a quiet month. . .

“

Can you think of anything good about the weather at this time of year?” I said to Edith the other day as she tugged on my wellies from her position sitting on the kitchen floor. “Yes” she said without hesitation. There was a pause as she shot backwards into the vegetable rack and dislodged my left wellington boot from her cleavage. “Nuts and tits” she said. “Nuts and tits”, I repeated raising one eyebrow. “Yes. And balls”. “And balls”, I parroted. She indicated through the window at the resplendent array of bird feeders and fatballs with which she

East Croydon Post Office where it suddenly got the hang of its purpose in life and careered helterskelter down the hill, depositing Edith unceremoniously in the pub doorway with her legs in the air. Several large brandies (and a huge plate of fish and chips) later, we felt ready to attempt the perilous journey home, only to find it had started snowing again and some hoodlum had stolen the aforesaid vehicle from its resting place (you can give it back now Creepy!). Well it’s been a particularly music-free month so I’ve absolutely nothing to review on the live music

“It tastes like earwax” the smiling barman (rightly) informed me upon my decicison to purchase non-alcoholic lager... had festooned the branches of our now redundant Christmas tree in the middle of the patio. An assortment of tits and finches pecked happily at Edith’s offerings causing her periodically to squeal with alarm every time next door’s cat moved from its vantage point on the roof of the shed. Apart from Edith’s delight at her new feathered friends, I personally haven’t found much to recommend this ‘cold snap’. Due to the population of Croydon panicbuying at the first sniff of snow, I had to survive for a week on turkey and sprout soup and pickled onions until Edith forced me out on an impromptu outing to the Porter & Sorter to test her ski-trolleymobile (in reality a de-wheeled Tesco trolley with planks from the back fence bolted on in rather a wobbly way). This failed to function in the required fashion until we got to

scene. Sadly the powers that be have decided to remove the stage from the back room at the Brief and turn it into some sort of “function room for weddings and shit” (not my words). That’s a shame because over the years I’ve seen some amazing bands there and it means one less venue for local talent to perform. There’s one last gig planned (no date confirmed as we go to press) but either speak to Dom behind the bar, keep an eye on the boards outside or look for an announcement on Facebook and lets all get down there and make it a night to remember! And on the subject of closed-down venues, I’ve happened to pass the old Cartoon, now renamed The Club, on several occasions recently and have noted that the forecourt seems to mainly be being used for dog-baiting contests. I’m not taking any bets as to how long it’ll be 22

before it’s closed down again. In an effort to keep warm, I decided to take a trip to the cinema and, not having seen a 3D film before, plumped for Avatar. I wasn’t too convinced about the originality of the storyline but the 3D effects were wonderful and I loved the flying scenes. Being a mean old skinflint, I refused to put my 3D glasses in the recycling bin (What? I paid over £10 to see that film!), took them home and now randomly and secretly swap them with Edith’s reading glasses. I’ve had more fun watching Edith waving the News of the World around at varying distances from her eyes and squinting helplessly at the instructions for her new bath plug (see last month’s ramblings) than I had watching the film. Hopefully I’ll have a bit more to report music-wise next month. This month’s highlight is Rammstein at Wembley and I’m working on a secret plan to get Joe Bonamassa tickets as well. Well, variety is the spice of life, as Edith said to me over a nice owl and eyeball curry the other night. Although I certainly regretted my rash decision to vary my normal drinking habits and purchase a bottle of nonalcoholic lager the other day. “It tastes like earwax,” I was informed by the smiling barman. Unbelievably it did. It also tasted, after a straw poll of Ship regulars, like potato wedges (or cold roast potatoes) and envelope glue. Anyway, antibiotics finished, I’m back on the Hobgoblin and loving it all the more for my brief abstinence. See you at the bar!

STUFF! WONDERFUL STUFF! W

hen Beanos (R.I.P.) finally closed last year, thanks to the rise of downloads and decline in recordbuying, Croydon lost one of its finest independent institutions. For owner David Lashmar, however, it proved to be another opportunity in a staggeringly eclectic career stretching all the way back to a market stall by the sea many (not saying how many) years ago called, interestingly enough, Stuff. Always aware of the need for independent thought in a town overrun with soulless, homogenous chain-stores, David and his team of Tim, Jim and Conan set about creating and building an undercover market in the shell of the Beanos shop. Stuff! Croydon, after months of hard work, opened its doors at the end of January, and immediately set about blowing the minds of everyone who saw it. Divided into a ground floor of ‘shoplets’ (Terry Pratchett fans think

INDULGENCE Name: Tim Fisher, ‘Indulgence Confectionary’ (Ground floor) What is Indulgence? I make very high quality, fresh hand-made chocolates - a range of unique items that are very different from anything else available in Croydon. We sell truffles, filled chocolates, lollipops, chocolate bars and drinking chocolate plus seasonal specials. Any opening or special offers: No offers exactly but I will be running monthly specials and prize draws on item purchased. How did you come to be in STUFF? I am an award winning pastry chef and chocolatier who has run his own chocolate business for over 3 years. I’d

The Shades, everyone else think Harry Potter or The Shambles) a cobbled, weaving village of mad little shops and streets complete with a red telephone box and bus stop (the bus never comes, I know, I’ve waited), and two top floors of canopied market stalls, plus a cafe (free refreshments at the moment), the attention to detail is phenomenal, as is the vision. Now almost full, each shoplet / stall is occupied by a small, independent business either lured away from other markets (usually after just one look at the place) or a start-up venture. No two shops sell the same thing or offer the same service (a condition of being able to get one), and the atmosphere is wholly one of community. It’s a revelation, as evidenced by shoppers being stunned at the stallholders actually being FRIENDLY, and

TALKING. It’s just not cricket in a world of surly counter-staff and naked consumerism, is it? If you’ve yet to, we urge you to get down there, strike a blow for independence and lend them your support because for all the lazy negativity constantly spouted, there remains a small core of people in this town busily doing extraordinary things, and you’ll find a fair few of them in Stuff.

MEET THE COLLECTIVE. . . been thinking about an outlet for some time when I read about the Stuff project. As a teenager I used to buy Beatles records in Beanos so I got to know David Lashmar through being a customer. When Beanos closed I emailed David to discuss the possibility of an outlet there. We then met up for a chat and we both thought Indulgence Confectionery being in the Stuff market would be a great idea. I think David has great vision and with the backing of his wonderful team it’s very exciting to be part of what will become a great institution like Beanos was. It’s also been great to spend time talking to customers about 24

chocolate. Business-wise we have many new customers so it’s been excellent. I would encourage other small businesses to try and get into the market if an opportunity comes up.

PAW PRINTS in the country. The residents of Croydon are extremely lucky to have such a unique place to shop and they really should get down there and support this fantastic venture. It will only succeed if everyone gets behind it.

Name: Sarah Swales and Peter Butler, ‘Paw Prints’ (Ground floor). What is Paw Prints? Unique animal themed clothes and accessories for kids and adults. Our products can be seen at www.pawprintslondon.com Any opening or special offers: 10% discount to all Deep-London readers. How did you come to be in STUFF? I’ve been designing, printing and selling my unique range of animal products for nine years. It all started while I was studying graphic design at Camberwell College where I specialised in screen printing. I’ve always been a bit crazy about animals so it made perfect sense for me to marry my two passions. So, after graduating, I completed work on a range of animal designs which I printed onto t-shirts in a myriad of colours and sizes. I opened my first stall in Camden Lock Market and met so

many people who shared my love of animals that pretty soon I was making hoodies, bags, babygrows, hats and badges sporting my range of designs. They proved incredibly popular and I opened stalls in Covent Garden Apple Market and Old Spitalfields Market, where I first heard about STUFF. I wasn’t even planning on opening another outlet but as soon as I met Tim and David and saw the place they’d built, I new I had to be a part of it. It’s an incredible building and there’s a great energy and atmosphere here. I’ve never seen such an exciting and unique shopping environment. It’s a playground for both adults and children alike with some very original, independent shops and products to explore. It’s the complete antithesis of the formulaic high streets and shopping centres that blight every town and city

Name: Marie-Claire Ferrara, ‘MarieClaire Aromatherapy’ (Ground floor) What is Marie-Claire Aromatherapy? Aromatherapy is a holistic therapy combining essential oils obtained from flowers, leaves, plants and trees with relaxing massage to promote and maintain health and restore a balanced state to body and mind. I do Aromatherapy back, neck and shoulder massage, facial massage, relaxing head, neck and shoulder massage and hand massage. Any opening or special offers? £5.00 off all treatment prices until 28 February 2010. How did you come to be in STUFF?

I trained as an Aromatherapist under Renee Tanner, a world leader in the fields of Aromatherapy and Reflexology and founder member of the British Complementary Medical Association (B.C.M.A.). I qualified in 1995 and was doing some massages from home along with a full time job. I was recently made redundant and as my sister is the bonsai editor of Deep Magazine, and a good friend of David Lashmar, she presented me with the idea and opportunity to be a part of the amazing STUFF! I'm very excited to be doing what I enjoy in beautiful surroundings with such lovely people. I'm convinced it

will be a great success and just what Croydon needs.

Name: Josh Mills, ‘Mills Sweets’ (1st Floor) What is Mills Sweets? It’s a traditional sweet shop / stall which we built ourselves. We’ll be selling a wide range of nostalgic and unusual sweets. I set up the stall/business with my girlfriend Kez and will now be working in it for the bulk of the time we’re open. How did you come to be in STUFF? I had known that the market place was opening for some time because my main interest is music so I had put myself on the Beanos mailing list when I heard it was closing down. Then after I graduated last June the

idea of opening my own stall was too appealing to resist - partly due to the recession there weren’t really many interesting and realistic alternatives. Once Kez and I had thought of the initial idea a traditional sweet stall seemed like it would be a fun thing to do and STUFF is a unique place where we thought we could make it work. I think the fate of Mills Sweets is probably tied to the fate of STUFF and I’m excited about both. The inside of the building looks great and if people come down to see it they won’t be disappointed. Hopefully they’ll tell their friends who’ll tell their friends and so

on. I think it’s exactly what Croydon needs and there’s nothing quite like it nearby, or perhaps, anywhere.

MARIE-CLAIRE

MILLS SWEETS

CAKES BY GEN Name: Genevieve Yeboah, ‘Cakes By Gen’ (Top floor) What is Cakes By Gen? I bake and sell a variety of homemade cakes Any opening or special offers? 10% discount on all orders during February How did you come to be in STUFF? Before STUFF I worked in HR but for the past 3 years I have been a stay at home mother. I decided to return to work last year but due to the recession, there were little or no opportunities. I then began baking at home for friends and family and I received a lot of good feedback so I decided to see if I could turn it into a business. I first started selling at car

boot sales, which is where I met Ailsa Garlick, and she told me about STUFF. STUFF is definitely one of the best markets I have seen in London. It’s very unique and each shoplet / stall offers something different. David, Tim and the whole STUFF team have been extremely helpful and supportive in helping me set up my stall and I would encourage anyone interested in starting a business to come and have a look. I’m very excited about my new stall and so far I have had a very good response. I hope things continue to go well for myself and the other tenants. I offer good quality cakes at reasonable prices and I also take orders

Name: Sally Hebden, ‘SH Creations’ (Ground floor) What is SH Creations? I make and sell fascinators and hair accessories. Any opening or special offers? Feather / ribbon headbands are £12 each or 2 for £22 How did you come to be in STUFF? I have been making fascinators for 4 years as a hobby, and was offered redundancy at my previous workplace at the same time as I enquired about STUFF. I took this as an opportunity to do what I love doing on a

permanent basis. It is an adventure into the unknown for me, becoming self employed, managing my own business, plus, STUFF being a new concept in Croydon and needing to support building this as a new business initiative. It is very exciting journey to be on, in a very exciting place. The people I have met are fantastic and we are starting to work as a team already, I am really looking forward to what the next few months will bring!

Name: Sally Murphy, ‘Dragon Dreads’ (middle floor) What is Dragon Dreads? I am an alternative hair stylist who makes colourful synthetic dreadlocks in a wide range of colours. I will be offering installs, hair falls and dread starter kits for customers who want to have a go at installing dreads themselves. I also sell steel boned corsets (all made with organic cotton), handmade retro kitsch jewellery, and handmade retro ‘Mary Jane’ shoes. There’s more information about my custom made dreads at www.dragondreads.webs.com and all my range will be for sale at www.dragondreads.co.uk Any opening or special offers: 10% off all installs and custom dreads throughout February. How did you come to be in STUFF? For the past few years I’d been working as a Librarian and only trading

at markets at the weekend. I started making dreads about 7 years ago for myself and my hobby just got out of hand until it became an obsession and finally a business. Since then my range has expanded to include jewellery, corsets and this year customising shoes. I love showing off my products and get real pleasure from people enjoying them. Recently I realised how much I love trading and crafting - it doesn’t feel like work and it’s very empowering to be your own boss. It was a very scary step to make but I’m so glad I’ve done it. Taking up the stall has also given me the confidence to bring out my own line of dread kits If I hadn’t taken up David’s offer of a stall I would always think ‘what if?’. Sometimes it’s worth taking risks and I hope this one will pay off! I’m excited about Stuff as I feel it incorporates the spirit of what Camden market and the like used to be. The

so please contact me for more details or come and visit me at STUFF. (n.b: we’ve tried the cakes, they’re lovely Ed)

SH CREATIONS

DRAGON DREADS

building itself has such history and character that it’s great to see its rebirth. I wanted to be part of Stuff also because of the community David has built amongst the stall holders. The place has a great atmosphere and I’m looking forward to coming to work and having a laugh with all the new friends I’ve made.

DEMEC JEWELLERS Name: Maria and Antonio de Mendoza, ‘DeMEC Jewellers’ (Ground floor) What is DeMEC? Eco-friendly jewellery both in Vegetable Ivory and Pearls and exotic Sea Shells. Any opening or special offers: 10% discount over 2 or more pieces. How did you come to be in STUFF? We started our business 7 and a half years ago when we decided to move from our native Colombia to start a new life on this side of the planet. Having a great passion about design and creation, colours and forms

and being very environmentally aware, we discovered on our arrival that even though Vegetable Ivory had been found over 3 centuries ago in South American rainforests and had been very popular from the Victorian era up to the fifties, people were not aware of its existance. It is the only natural and 100% sustainable substitute for Ivory. We were referred to STUFF by a friend last November, fell in love with the project and the people running it and decided to be part of it. There's nothing like it anywhere else. It’s original, creative, loving and fun! Just

Name: Josie and Kelly, ‘Wags Ooh La La’ (Ground floor) What is Wags Ooh La La? We’re a dog boutique for dogs of all shapes and sizes. We offer coats & collars both for everyday use or those special ‘redcarpet’ occasions. Any opening or special offers: Lead and matching collar for £10 while stocks last. Also, spend £30 or more get a free carpet pet hair remover until 28th February 2010. How did you come to be in STUFF? Since 1994 Josie has been successfully breeding, and still shows, miniature Yorkshire Terriers, and after years of experience in the human beauty industry, she decided to concentrate her efforts on becoming a fully qualified and professional animal

groomer. She qualified at Guildford College. Josie’s daughter Kelly has joined forces with her Mum to create the Wags emporium. With their experience and passion for fashion in all things pink, sparkly and beautiful they felt they could bring glitz and glamour to the dog world at affordable prices. Wags only sell high quality fashionable attire guaranteed to turn heads. Kelly says, “If it wasn’t for our dogs trying and testing all of our products then I wouldn’t be happy selling them” “We had been looking for somewhere to showcase our business for ages before we found STUFF. We never thought we’d be as overwhelmed and excited as we were when we saw it, David and his team have created an

unique indoor village with a great atmosphere - everyone is so friendly and welcoming. “We knew instantly that STUFF represented our the type of business we have; unique, quirky and definitely different!” www.wagsoohlala.com

Name: Agnes Mannah, ‘Aggy’s Sauces Of Hope’ (top floor) What are Aggy’s Sauces Of Hope? The sauces are my own recipes, made by combining unique African herbs and spices. They have an exquisite taste and distinct aroma that appeals to both the African and Western palates. I started making them for my family some 20 years ago, but after years of constant demand I now produce them for sale, and to lend a new and exciting flavour to the sauce market. The sauces have gained a momentum of their own and by expanding the range from the initial chilli and chicken marinades, 'Aggy's Sauces' now have four different

flavours. They are sauces of hope because they fund a foundation to feed and care for orphaned African children whose parents have died from AIDs every bottle sold provides 1 meal a day for a child in Africa. The foundation will provide children with a stable home in a loving environment with parents, brothers and sisters, thus preventing the need for them to be moved back and forth between foster homes or even, in the worst cases, be left to fend for themselves, as is the case with the majority of AIDS orphans. (A marvellous reason to buy one of these authentic and original sauces, but if you

need another, we’ve tried them and they really are fantastic - Ed). More info and some tasty recipes are available from www.aggyssauces.com

like our Jewellery!

WAGS OOH LA LA

AGGY’S SAUCES

BRACKIT Name: Debbie Evershed, ‘Brackit’ (top floor), designer of Platinum award winning Frog BracKit - British Invention Show 2008. What is BracKit? The Frog BracKit is a multi hanging system, great for gardens, or indoors - the various bar attachments enable the user to hang a number of hanging baskets and birdfeeders in one place. The Frog attaches to a fence post or wall. Indoors it can also be used to hang fruit and veg up, keeping kitchen counters clear and the food away from mice. Other uses have included suspending a glass artist’s sculpture,

and above a baby’s bed with many mobiles hanging form it. The choices are yours to make, as to what you want to hang. How did you come to be in STUFF? BracKit moved to Stuff after a successful but freezing cold trading period before Xmas at Greenwich Market. STUFF has a great atmosphere, retro décor and good music playing all day, which makes for a friendly relaxed shopping experience. Forget the Croydon corporate fluff, and come to STUFF! (LIKE IT! - Ed)

Name: Romano Macauley and Simone Hutchinson, ‘Calabash’ (Ground floor) What is Calabash? We sell arts and sculpture, cultural literature, jewellery and homeware. How did you come to be in STUFF? We have been market trading casually for 2 years, and have done a few festivals and community events. We heard about Stuff through a friend and Romano, having been a Beanos customer for a number of years, was intrigued as were looking into trading more on a full time basis. When we saw the transformation of

Beanos we loved the idea and theme, and were eager to get on board as we felt it went well with what we do. We have been able to be creative with our decor and are pleased with the outcome. We hope we have created warm and comfortable surroundings that people will want to stop in, browse through the books and find that perfect item they don't want to leave without. We believe that what Stuff has created is something new and unique to Croydon and will be somewhere people want to shop.

Name: Ailsa Garlick, ‘Coucou Heart’ (first floor) What is Coucou Heart? Handmade jewellery, especially using vintage charms and unusual items like watch mechanisms; and gifts How did you come to be in STUFF? I have worked in Supply Chain for large consumer goods companies for several years, however, I have always made things and yearned to do something creative full time. So, I left

my job last October, in order to pursue this full time. I was so excited the first time I went to visit David at Stuff last year - the place was still being built but already looked amazing. I feel like this place really fits in with my style and interests so is a great place to launch my new business. It is brilliant to be able to unleash my creative side at last and hopefully be able to make a living from it!

More info from www.frogbrackit.com

CALABASH

COUCOU HEART

MORE STUFF!: Baby Clothes, Slate Art, Hand-made Kaleidoscopes, Flowers, T-shirts, Pagan Supplies, Jewellery and much more!! 28

A blatantly ripped off game for eagle-eyed readers...

t’s back, our homage to two of our favourite telly programmes, The Hoobs and Harry Hill’s TV Burp and our very own version of ‘where has the knitted character been this week’. Except without a knitted character, and without it being on telly, and with substantially shabbier prizes, and monthly. In case you weren’t around last issue, here’s a brief precis of it all: 1) Every month we’ll deposit the Editor’s very own prized Groove Hoob fluffy toy somewhere in one of our stockists’ premises in sunny Croydon or the surrounding bits where Deep gets distributed. We’ll give you a tiny clue as to his

whereabouts. 2) You spot Groove. 3) E-mail where you saw our furry friend to hello@deep-london.co.uk with the subject line ‘Groove’, or text Groove and where you saw him to 07910 506197. (Texts charged at standard Virgin message rate) 4) Win a prize of either a) something crap and fluffy which we’ve won in the groping grabber machine / coconut shy on Brighton Pier, or b) something else we’ve found lying around the office, or even c) something quite good. 5) Get your picture in the magazine and gain an immense amount of kudos.

Remember, we don’t expect you to go trawling all over South London looking for a green Hoob but if in the course of your travels this month you happen to spot a green Hoob then really, what could be easier than to let us know and you may win a lovely prize (and get your picture in the mag and get kudos etc etc). This month’s clue: Groove is waiting for a Valentine’s card to be delivered in a PUB. Closing date for this month’s competition is 25th February 2010. Good luck and happy Hoobspotting...

one Des from Purley, who spotted him, sent us a text telling us where and won a rather splendid prize of a triple CD by Dimitri From Paris. Well done that man. No picture this month I’m afraid, but hopefully we’ll get one both of Des and this month’s winner in next month’s issue. Thanks to everyone who entered - good luck this month!!

here’s Groove, look, reclining amid the Champagne on a shelf behind the bar in The Green Dragon Pub. The clue, if you recall, was that Groove was feeling at home. And he was, ‘cos he’s Green, and he’s in the Green Dragon, geddit? No? Oh why do I bother... Anyway, our heartiest congratulations go to someone who did bother, 31

s long time readers may know, I’m willing to put myself through things in the name of this bloody magazine. Things such as pole dancing, speed dating, getting tattoos, that sort of malarkey. I’m game, is what I’m saying, but I draw the line at getting myself pierced for many reasons, mainly a) been there, done that, took them out, b) I am squeamish and c) I am now old and so don’t like them - what’s wrong with a simple nose-ring, what’s all this stuffing things under your skin - I remember when all this was fields etc etc... Just because I’m not keen though, it doesn’t mean you lot aren’t, as is obvious when walking about town and/or being held up in queues behind metal detectors, and as we always like to pretend we’re down with the kids, time for a visit to Croydon’s newest piercing emporium, lurking below Timebomb clothing on the High Street where owners Karen and RItchie are ready to fill us in (as opposed to poke us with needles, which is nice)... So, tell us about your new piercing studio & how it came about? When we moved from our old shop premises to the High Street two and a half years ago (yes it’s been that long!) we considered it as an idea as we had so much space, but we decided instead to focus on building up the custom print side of the business first, as that was something we were already doing. We’d always sold lots of body Jewellery and stretchers (things that make your piercing holes bigger, for anyone out there over 17 years old - Ed) and we had so many customers asking when we were going to start doing piercing that last summer we decided to go for it. It was really important to us that, if we were going to open a studio - it had to be the best, most spotless, most comfortable, most friendly environment for our customers. I believe, and I think our customers would agree that we have achieved that. Who does your piercing? We have a great new piercer called

Dougie, possibly the most enthusiastic and friendly person I have ever met, as well as being extremely knowledgeable and passionate about piercing. He is from the east coast of Australia and has been piercing for 5 years in both a tattoo & piercing studio environment and as head piercer for a chain of alternative shops in Oz. When he’s not piercing he’ll be on the shop floor at Time Bomb advising customers on both piercings and body jewellery, so pop in to meet him. What kind of piercings does he do? He does any type of piercing you may want and has a portfolio that you can look at for inspiration. We will be putting it online too at www.timebombpiercing.com He loves to do micro dermals (again, I’ll explain - a flat plate which sits beneath the skin with a single exit for a barbell post giving the visual effect of jewellery that appears to be screwed right into the body - Ed), which are hugely popular in Australia and are becoming more so here too, and we are getting more people asking for “venoms” now too (a double tongue piercing). Do you need an appointment? You don't need an appointment, our studio is open 11am – 6pm Monday to Saturday and you can just come in. We do advise that if it is something like a micro dermal design that you want (or are unsure about what you want done) please come in for a consultation first. 32

Why should I come to Timebomb to get pierced? Getting pierced is a very personal thing, you must be completely comfortable and confident with the person doing the procedure and confident that the studio is operating under the most hygienic conditions. Our ethos at Time Bomb has always been to provide the best customer service and the best product – the piercing studio is no exception to that. Everyone who has visited our studio has said it is the cleanest they have ever seen and Dougie’s skills and knowledge are second to none. Don’t take my word for it though, just come in and see for yourself. You can also join our mailing list at www.timebombpiercing.com and you will be the first to hear about any offers that we have. Timebomb Piercing, 31 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1QB, Tel: 020 8686 7730

News-hound May contain news.

ello there. I don’t mean to dampen anyone’s good mood but first up this month we have news on The Smoking Ban. Yes, I know it’s already here, but it seems the Government is to attempt to extend the ban to encompass the outside world as well. This will include entrance areas, bus shelters and pub beer gardens. It’s not my place to comment (although I’m sorely tempted to use the rest of this page in a rant about hypocrisy, taxation, smoker demographics, nhs statistics, erosion of individual rights, pub closures etc etc, and the file name I’ve given the link may give you a clue as to my thoughts) but merely to inform. If you’d like to know more visit: http://doiop.com/onanists.

suspect that whatever happens it won’t be a problem for The Brief who’ll probably have few punters left to worry about it (I am prepared to eat my hat if it turns out otherwise). This is because, as some of you may be aware, for some reason God only knows what - Greene King have decided to get rid of the live music room (jncluding stage and sound system) at the back of the pub and turn it back into a function room for weddings, Bar-Mitzvahs etc (available to hire - try the fish...). We at Deep are struggling somewhat with

the logic behind this decision, but in the meantime Dom behind the bar is organising a big send off for the venue. It was originally going to be at the end of January but has been put back into Feb to get as many bands in as possible. As Dom says ‘stay tuned, its all gonna be a bit last minute...’ To keep up to date RSVP to the facebook event ‘Last Night At The Brief’ at http://doiop.com/sendoff.

n something of a departure for us, it’s shopping news! Obviously you’re all by now aware of the wonderful new STUFF Market Place (see this month’s CroydonHello! and get down there) but in more mundane grocery news, there’s a new Sainsbury’s opening where Blockbuster Video used to be on the corner of George Street and Wellesley Road, which is good news in that it fills a building that’s been empty for ages, but bad news in that it makes it even easier for people to ignore one of Croydon’s finest commodities Surrey Street Market. If you don’t use Sainsbury’s, it goes, it pops up somewhere else, no real skin off their nose, don’t use Surrey Street, however, and it’s gone forever, and probably redeveloped into Christ knows what. It’s up to you of course, I’m just saying, that’s all. And Surrey Street has an actual bona-fide

heritage, and it’s fresh stuff, and it’s cheaper... (ALRIGHT, THEY GET IT ED).

nother departure, but extraordinary events demand it, so say hello to Football news! And all hail Deep’s new hero - Danny Butterfield! Crystal Palace’s longest serving player, a full-back by trade, catapulted CPFC into the 5th round of the FA Cup with a spectacular threegoals-in-six-minutes hat-trick against Wolves. “Normally I get a goal every four seasons so to get three in one night is unbelievable” says the Brit-popbarnetted Butterfield. Considering Palace are currently in administration (read: borassic) and haven’t been in the 5th round since 2001/02, we’d urge anyone with even a passing interest to get along to the tie against Aston Villa on Valentine’s Day at 3pm to support a bunch of players who aren’t even being paid when they should but who are playing out of their skins. For ticket details visit www.cpfc.co.uk. Come on Palace!

nd that is the end of the news for this month - a mixed bag I hope you’ll agree. If you have any news stories for us why not let us know by e-mailing: hello@deep-london.co.uk

Danny Butterfield, Palace hero (in the middle, number 20, with the hair)

Stockists: CENTRAL CROYDON: • All Bar One • Bar Red Square • Bar Se7en • Beanos Records • Bedford Tavern • Black Sheep Bar • Brief • Bull’s Head • Clocktower (Tourist Info) • Dog & Bull • Eagle • Fairfield Halls • Goose on the Market • Gun Tavern • Green Dragon • Half and Half Lounge Bar • Loop Pool Bar • Milan Bar • Mojama • Natterjacks (St George’s Walk) • Royal Standard • Ship • Spreadeagle • Steelpoint Tattoo • Strictly UK (Tramms) • Surrey Cricketers • Tiger Tiger • Timebomb Clothing • Walkabout • Yates’s Wine Lodge EAST CROY: • Builders Arms • Glamorgan • Orchard • Oval • Porter & Sorter • Tramlink Info Centre • Warehouse Theatre WEST CROY: • Bird in Hand • Sims Tattoos • Davys Wine Bar • Forbidden Planet • Fox and Hounds • Windmill

SOUTH END & SOUTH CROY: • Bodega • Croham Arms • Crown & Pepper • Crown & Sceptre • Earl of Eldon • Edge • Folly • Jalalis • Kays Off Licence • LA Fitness (Royal Oak) • La Spezia Deli (Old Pharmacy - Swan & Sugarloaf) • Laithwaite’s Wines (opp. Windsor Castle) • Peking Tasty • Purley Arms • Rail View • Red Deer • Rupali • Ruskin House • Sackville Gallery • Scream Studios • Stag & Hounds • Sth Croydon BR • Swan & Sugarloaf • Txt Bar • Treehouse • Unwins (Swan & Sugarloaf) • Wheelwrights Arms • Windsor Castle • Woodman • Zizzi ADDISCOMBE: • Alma Tavern • Claret Free Hs • Cricketers PURLEY: • Baan Thai • Brass Monkey • Coffee Bay (by Purley BR) • Elliott’s • Jolly Farmers • Las Fuentes • Rectory • Purley BR • Purley Pool • Purley Oaks BR • Station Cars

Listings Index:

Pick up your copy of Deep from any of these lovely places:

What’s on? 37 full weekly and daily guide

PURLEY WAY: • Gipsy Moth • Premier Travel Inn Hotel • Green’s Gym

All our information was correct at the time of going to press, but as the only certainty in life is change, we suggest you check before heading out. The opinions and reviews which follow are those of the Editor and staff - if you have an issue to raise about them, please ring us, rather than the venue.

COULSDON: • The Pembroke OLD COULSDON: • The Fox • Tudor Rose

Got something going on? We’re not psychic, people - let us know! What’s on listings are FREE! Call Angela on 07910 506197 or e-mail: angela@deep-london.co.uk

SANDERST’D: • Sanderstead BR • Stones Hair Salon • Wine Cellar

Deep-London Readership: 25,096 monthly

SHIRLEY: • Cricketers • Crown • Sandrock • Shirley Inn • Surprise Inn

plus online at www.deep-london.co.uk on facebook (deep-london), www.myspace.com/wiredmag, www.issuu.com, http://ski:im

FORESTDALE: • Forestdale Arms • McDermott’s Fish Restaurant

GET YOUR EVENT LISTED: e-mail: ANGELA@ DEEP-LONDON.CO.UK

SELHURST: • Pepperton UK • Selhurst Arms • White Horse • Two Brewers • Lion Inn

Last date for inclusion in March issue -

THORNTON HEATH: • The Lord Napier

24 Feb 2010

WOODSIDE GREEN: • Beehive

Advertising in Deep-London:

SOUTH NORWOOD: • Portmanor

Prices from £100 upwards depending on size and placement all prices are per month, full colour and VAT exempt

KENLEY: • Kenley Arms

discounts available for block booking etc

FREE advert design service

WHYTELEAFE: • Whyteleafe Tavern

To advertise please call Angela the Editor on: 07910 506197 / 020 8680 3558 e-mail: angela@deep-london.co.uk 36

what’s on Book Now For: • Music: Jerry Dammers’ Spatial A.K.A Orchestra March 4th to April 9th. Brighton Dome on March 5th (booking line 01273 709709) • Music/Event: Star Wars In Concert 3-4 April 2010. A feast for Star Wars fans as Anthony Daniels narrates a performance of John Williams’ music, plus an exhibition of production artwork, Jedi costumes and props. Tickets £30 £95 www.starwarsinconcert.com www.gigsandtours.com 0871 220 0260. • Comedy: Paul Merton’s Improv Chums On tour from April 23 to June 19th. No Croydon dates but visits London, and Brighton amongst others www.comedystoreplayers.com • Music: Paul Weller 27 & 28 May 2010. at The Royal Albert Hall www.paulweller.com • Music: Keane June 10, 11, 18, 19, 25, 26. The chaps perform with special guest at various forestry commission sites. Yes, it does sound odd. www.forestry.gov/music www.keanemusic.com • Sport: England v Australia Cricket June 22, 24, 27, 30, 3 July 5 One Day Internationals. www.ecb.co.uk • Music: Pearl Jam 25th June Hard Rock Calling at Hyde Park.

Something to do every night of the week, Yay! www.hardrockcalling.co.uk 0844 847 2502 • Sport: British Grand Prix 9-11 July Tickets from £38 from: www.silverstone.co.uk/events/ • Music: Sonisphere Festival 30th July - 1st August with Iron Maiden, Rammstein, Motley Crue, Alice Cooper, Iggy and the Stooges, Slayer, The Cult, Anthrax and more. Knebworth Park www.sonispherefestivals.com

Every Day: • Theatre: Dick Barton: Quantum of Porridge Until 22nd February NOT MONDAYS Tickets from £11 to £17. Warehouse Theatre, Dingwall Road, Croydon 0208 680 4060. www.warehusetheatre.co.uk • Art: The Real Van Gogh: The Artist and his Letters Until 18 April. Correspondence with his brother Theo and friends Anton van Rappard and Paul Gaugin, along with paintings and drawings. Tickets range from free for the under 7’s to £12. Royal Academy Of Arts, London, W1 0844 209 1919 www.royalacademy.org.uk • Theatre: Rope Until 6 February By Patrick Hamilton. Almeida Theatre, London, www.almeida.co.uk 020 7359 4404 • Photography: Taylor Wessing Photographic Portrait Prize 2009

Until 14 February Free admission. National Portrait Gallery, London, www.npg.org.uk • Photography: Wildlife Photographer of the Year Until 11 April Natural History Museum, London www.nhm.ac.uk/wildphoto

Every Monday: • Market: Surrey Street London’s oldest continuously running market since 1276, with fruit and veg, bits and pieces, meat and fish, hot food, all sorts. Monday Saturday. Use it or lose it. Surrey Street, Croydon www.surreystreetmarket.com • Music: Community Choir 6-8pm, upstairs, all welcome. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Singing For The Nervous Free your voice with this friendly singing group, world harmony songs, rounds, chants. 6.30- 8pm. Adult ed rates. Upstairs in the Green Dragon pub, 58-60 Croydon High Street, CR0 1NA Please call/email to come along or get details. catherine@naturalvoice.net 020 8683 4737. • Music: Big Beer Band The marvellous Big Beer Band do big band music at the Brief. From 9pm ish The Brief, 48 George Street, Croydon 020 8686 6878 www.myspace.com/the_brief • Club: Word To Your Mother Music from the 90’s – grunge, Britpop, dodgy pop and vanilla ice Half price drinks until 12am Doors 7pm, free before 10pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Gay: The Big Fun Gay Quiz Night fun and general knowledge quiz.

what’s on Questions from all categories, games that everyone can enjoy. Start the week off with a bang! Starts 8pm The Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road, Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104 www.birdinhand.uk.net • Club: Blue Monday Buy one hour of Pool and recieve one hour free of charge. Don’t worry if you are on a one-hour lunch break we will give you a voucher to use another day. If you are not a member you can join at reception free of charge if you bring some ID along. More about free membership. Half price on all drinks Monday to Thursday 5pm to 7pm Fridays 5pm to 9pm Open Midday until 11pm Admission is free of charge Dress Code: No caps, sportswear, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers are permitted. Over 18s only - ID required. Loop Lounge, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ. 020 8760 7000 www.looplounge.co.uk

Every Tuesday: • Market: Surrey Street London’s oldest continuously running market since 1276, with fruit and veg, bits and pieces, meat and fish, hot food, all sorts. Use it or lose it. Monday - Saturday. Surrey Street, Croydon www.surreystreetmarket.com • Music: Jazz Jam Session Every Tuesday Night at The Lord Napier Jazz Pub. All welcome. The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath. 020 8653 2286 • Quiz: The Pembroke 8pm. 50p per person per round. Plus 2 for 1 on pizzas. The Pembroke, 12-16 Chipstead Valley Road, Coulsdon, CR5 2RA 020 8763 0800 • Quiz: The Builders Arms Fun general knowledge quiz. The Builders Arms, 65 Leslie Park Road, Croydon, CR0 6TP 020 8654 1803 • Club: BAR WARS

Something to do every night of the week, Yay! These are the drinks you're looking for… Every Tuesday at Black Sheep, the drinks deals are a force to be reckoned with...£1 a pint of Carlsberg, Olde English, Tetley's & Gaymers Pear Cider, £1 house spirit and mixer, £1 shot of Sourz or Wild! FREE entry before 9pm! Doors 7pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: Freedom of Expression presents the best in acoustic music, comedy, poetry and magic - see daily what’s on for who’s playing when. From 8pm. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Fitness: Yoga Classes Every Tuesday from 7.30pm-9pm. £5 a class for 6 sessions. Beginners welcome. 140 Brighton Road, Purley. 0208 763 2629 • Dance: Belly Dancing Come and join the fun every Tuesday. Classes are for women only and suitable for all ages, sizes and levels of ability. Make sure you wear comfortable clothing and bring a scarf to tie around your hips to really get you in the mood! Open level - suitable for all 6pm7.15pm In depth class - suitable for experienced dancers only: 7.30pm8.45pm. £7 per class. Call Charlotte Desorgher on 01342 850423 The Green Room, Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG. Box Office: 020 8688 9291 www.fairfield.co.uk • Dance: Ceroc Learn to Ceroc every Tuesday in the Arnhem Gallery. Ceroc is an exciting and stylish modern partner dance which can be performed to all types of music. It’s very easy to pick up, no special clothes are required and you don’t need to bring a partner as we make sure 38

everyone mixes together. Beginners: 8pm; Intermediate: 9pm Freestyle: 9.30pm-11pm Membership £2, Admission £6 For further info tel: 020 8466 5030 or visit: www.cerockent.com Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG. Box Office: 020 8688 9291 www.fairfield.co.uk

Every Wednesday: • Market: Surrey Street London’s oldest continuously running market since 1276, with fruit and veg, bits and pieces, meat and fish, hot food, all sorts. Use it or lose it. Monday - Saturday. Surrey Street, Croydon www.surreystreetmarket.com • Pool: The Oval Pool Competition Every Wednesday from 19.30 hrs. Balls and banter - a textbook night in the pub. £2 to enter, with cash prizes. The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR 020 8686 6023 www.ovaltavern.co.uk • Quiz: Mike K’s General Knowledge Quiz From 9.00pm Mike K’s general knowledge quiz, non-members welcome! Caterham Club, 10A, Croydon Road, Caterham CR36QB • Quiz: Foxley Hatch Every Wednesday from 8pm. £1 entry per person - winner takes all. Maximum 4 on a team. The Foxley Hatch, Purley • Event: Talent Night Talent Night Open Mic. Every Wednesday. £200 prize! The Whyteleafe Tavern, 208 Godstone Road, Whyteleafe, CR3 0EE www.whyteleafetavern.com • Gay: Camp Bingo Hosted by Miss Isla Blige. Starts 8pm with various prizes. Happy Hour Drinks when you buy your books until the first number is called.

what’s on The Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road, Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104 www.birdinhand.uk.net • Club: King Of Clubs Loop Lounge Poker Night: It's the standard Texas Hold’em format that we all know and love. This night is open to all Loop Lounge members. To register an interest and book a place at our tables please visit our website. Open Midday until midnight Half price on all drinks: Monday to Thursday 5pm to 7pm, Fridays 5pm to 9pm Open Midday until 11pm. FREE entry. Dress: No caps, sportswear, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers are permitted. Over 18s only - ID required. Loop Lounge, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ. 020 8760 7000 www.looplounge.co.uk • Club: Discord NEW MUSIC EVERY WEDNESDAY Check daily what’s on for who’s playing this month. Doors 7pm, £5 entry.plus Cheap Sheep drinks deals till 9pm, plus £1 Tequila shots & £1 bottle of beer. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Dance: Dancercise Keep fit and meet new people at this fun and friendly beginners dance class. Come and join the fun every Wednesday. 7.30pm. £3.50. Central Court, Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street, Croydon www.croydonclocktower.org.uk • Dance: Swing Patrol swing dance classes, 7pm, £5. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub

Every Thursday: • Market: Surrey Street London’s oldest continuously running market since 1276, with fruit and

veg, bits and pieces, meat and fish, hot food, all sorts. Use it or lose it. Monday - Saturday. Surrey Street, Croydon www.surreystreetmarket.com • Tattoos: Walk-In Day No need to book in advance on a Thursday only at Sims, get there early! 11am-6pm Sims Tattoos, 69 Windmill Road, Croydon, CR0 2XR, 020 8684 6967 • Quiz: Two Brewers From 9pm. Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road, Croydon, 020 8684 3544 • Quiz: Crown and Sceptre From 9pm. Crown and Sceptre, 32 Junction Road, South Croydon, 020 8688 8037 • Quiz: Purley Arms Every Thursday.. Purley Arms, 345 Brighton Road, South Croydon, 020 8686 3792 • Quiz: JF Big Quiz From 8.30pm. £1 per player. Join in to win a case of beer or cash jackpot! The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Club: ALT.X Rock / Metal / Alternative with DJ Tony X plus guests. Cheap Sheep drinks deals till 10pm, plus £1.50 shots of Jager all night! Free before 10pm, doors 7pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: Live Blues Live blues at The Oval - see daily what’s on for who’s playing when. Every Thursday and Sunday. Bands start 8pm Thursdays, 5.30pm Sundays. FREE entry! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR. 020 8686 6023 www.ovaltavern.co.uk • Music: Live Jazz Check daily what’s on for who’s playing when. 8.15pm to 11pm. FREE! The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, 39

Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286 • Dance: Clog Dancing Free taster sessions for newcomers to try out some lively N.W. English clog team dances - wear trainers or similar footwear. Musicians with portable acoustic instruments always welcome too. PLEASE CALL BEFORE HEADING OUT, as some Thursdays this night is not on. 8.30 pm. FREE! Call 020 8654 5211/020 8657 4056 (eves.) for details United Reformed Church Hall, corner Enmore/Cobden Road, S. Norwood • Dance: Morris Dancing North Wood Morris Men are teaching Men's Morris to complete beginners on Thursday evenings at the Scout Hut in Purley Park Road at 8.15 pm and newcomers are welcome (first call 020 8668 1830) see www.northwoodmorris.org.uk • Dance: The South East London Lindy Hop Club Come and learn to dance Lindy Hop (Jitterbug) like they did in the 1940's. No partner required and Caron and Steve specialise in helping those with two left feet get together with those with two right. Doors open 7.30pm Beginners Class 7.45pm Intermediate Class 8.30pm Freestyle (practice) 9.15pm The Royston Club, 85 Royston Road Penge, London, SE20 7QW www.52ndstreetjump.co.uk

Every Friday: • Market: Surrey Street London’s oldest continuously running market since 1276, with fruit and veg, bits and pieces, meat and fish, hot food, all sorts. Monday Saturday. Surrey Street, Croydon www.surreystreetmarket.com • Music: DJs Every Friday Night The Folly, 13-15 Selsdon Road, Croydon, 020 8688 3920 • Music: Live Music Alternating live bands and karaoke every Friday Night

what’s on The Bedford Tavern, 16 Sydenham Road, Croydon, CR0 2EF, 020 8688 2584 • Karaoke: Wheelwright’s Arms From 8.30pm every Friday night. Wheelwright’s Arms, 126 Southbridge Road, Croydon, CR0 1AF • Music: Oval DJs The regular Oval faves, plus guests, keeping Fridays funky. The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR 020 8686 6023 www.ovaltavern.co.uk • Music: Live Music Every Friday night from 8pm. Plus 2 for 1 on Corona and Jacques. The Pembroke, 12-16 Chipstead Valley Road, Coulsdon, CR5 2RA 020 8763 0800 • Event: Wii Night Every Friday evening. The View, 188 selsdon Road, South Croydon, CR2 6PL, 020 8688 2315. • Music: Free Jukebox Fridays Pickachoon for nowt. The Red Deer, 279 Brighton Road, South Croydon, CR2 6EQ, 020 8688 5599. • Club: WTF? Four decades of Indie, Alternative, Electro and Punk hits with DJ Zoe Urchin. Cheap Sheep drinks deals till 9pm. Doors 7pm, free before 10pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: Starsound Gold DJ playing all styles of music. from 7pm The Swan and Sugarloaf,

Brighton Road, South Croydon • Event: Whitechapel’s Trail of Terror A highly entertaining and informative tour round the East End hunting ground of Jack The Ripper with John ‘Creepy’ Chambers. CHECK THIS EVENT IS HAPPENING BEFORE HEADING OUT. www.myspace.com/ whitechapelstrailofterror 07507 391 706 • Photography: Camera Club Camera Club meeting in West Croydon every Friday night welcomes visitors and new members. Full programme of events including print/slide talks, portrait evenings, competitions, etc. Ample parking. Contact Colin on 020 8665 1678. Visit www.thorntonheathcameraclub.co.uk

Every Saturday: • Market: Surrey Street London’s oldest continuously running market since 1276, with fruit and veg, bits and pieces, meat and fish, hot food, all sorts. Monday Saturday. Surrey Street, Croydon www.surreystreetmarket.com • Market: Garden Market The Alma Garden Market hopes to create a vibrant bustling market place in the large private courtyard of The Alma pub in Crystal Palace. It runs every Saturday with over 20 stalls selling plants & flowers, beauty products & treatments, exotic oils, olive oils, capers, strawberries, chocolates, jewellery, hand made

cards, rugs, leatherwear, knitwear, deli produce & a wide range of arts & crafts from local artists, plus hot food and collectables - and the Jerk Chicken man will be there! 10am - 4pm The Alma, 95 Church Road, Crystal Palace, London SE19 www.thealmapub.com • Music: Live Rock Bands Every Saturday Night Portmanor, Portland Road, South Norwood, SE25 4UF, 020 8655 1308 • Music: New Orleans Jazz Quality live jazz every Saturday Night. From 8.30pm. £6 entry includes free raffle. Blackheath Hockey Club, Rubens Street, Sydenham, SE6 4DH (behind Old Rutland Pub) • Music: Various Live music every Saturday Night. The Surrey Cricketers, corner of Lower Coombe Street and West Street, Croydon. • Music: DJ Ian C Every Saturday Night from 8pmmidnight. The Red Deer, 279 Brighton Road, South Croydon, CR2 6EQ, 020 8688 5599. • Club: Linton Dance Bombs. Funk Rockets. BeatSeeking Missiles. Never Outgunned. Cheap Sheep drinks deals till 9pm. Doors 7pm, free before 10pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Club: Tiger Tiger Tiger and Raffles Bar: with Capital

What’s This? http://doiop.com/name Wherever you see a website address in our listings that has the prefix http://doiop.com (or has ‘bit.ly’ or ‘tinyurl’ in it) it means we’ve used an URL shortener to make it easier for you to visit sites (especially facebook event pages whose URLs are ridiculously long). The address given will still take you to the original site, be it facebook or wherever, it just makes it easier for you if you’re reading the mag and wish to type addresses into your browser to get more info etc. We know most of you know this, but some people have asked, so there you go. Thanks! 40

what’s on FM Des Paul and Chris Brooks playing out the best in commercial party and dance anthems. Groovy Wonderland: 70’s and 80’s floor fillers. Club: Commercial House. Admission free before 10pm, £7 after Guestlist free before 11pm, £5 after Dress code: Dress to Impress - No Sportswear. Tiger Tiger, 14-16 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1GT. 020 8662 4949 www.tigertiger-croydon.co.uk • Music: Various Live music most Saturday nights. The Good Companions, Hamsey Green, South Croydon. 020 8657 6655

Every Sunday: • Music: New Orleans Jazz Every Sunday 12.30 - 2.30pm at The Lord Napier Jazz Pub. Entry £2, dance floor, raffle, great atmosphere at one of the longest running Jazz Pubs in Great Britain The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath. 020 8653 2286 • Music: Live Jazz Lunchtime Jazz every Sunday from 1pm. See daily what’s on for who’s playing this month. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Live Blues Live blues at The Oval - see daily what’s on for who’s playing when. Every Thursday and Sunday. Bands start 8pm Thursdays, 5.30pm Sundays. FREE entry! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR 020 8686 6023 www.ovaltavern.co.uk • Dance: Burlesque and Pole Dancing Lessons 5-7pm, sorry chaps, Ladies Only! Upstairs. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Quiz: The View

Every Sunday evening. The View, 188 selsdon Road, South Croydon, CR2 6PL, 020 8688 2315. • Quiz: Wheelwright’s Arms From 8pm. Wheelwright’s Arms, 126 Southbridge Road, Croydon, CR0 1AF • Quiz: Two Brewers Fun general knowledge quiz. From 9pm. Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road, Croydon, 020 8684 3544 • Karaoke: The White Horse Every Sunday Night from 7pm. The White Horse, 1 Selhurst Road, Selhurst, South Norwood, 020 8240 0948 • Music: Open Mic Musicians (all instruments) welcome. With one of our 4 fantastic hosts: Dave Mac, Rob Cushman, Neil Mac and Steve Bright The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Road, Purley, CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Poker: The Alma Tavern From 6pm. The Alma Tavern, Lower Addiscombe Road, Addiscombe, East Croydon • Event: Whitechapel’s Trail of Terror A highly entertaining and informative tour round the East End hunting ground of Jack The Ripper with John ‘Creepy’ Chambers. CHECK THIS EVENT IS HAPPENING BEFORE HEADING OUT. www.myspace.com/ whitechapelstrailofterror 07507 391 706

Got something going on? Let us know e-mail: angela@deeplondon.co.uk Monday 01 February • Comedy: Count Arthur Strong On tour until to February 15th. No Croydon dates • Event: Peter Serafinowicz Signing copies of the newly released 41

Peter Serafinowicz Show on DVD. 6pm-7pm. Forbidden Planet, 179 Shaftesbury Avenue London, WC2H 8JR 020 7420 3666 • Club: Half Price Mondays 50% off all drinks (excluding champagne) from 7pm til midnight. With music from The Katie and Alex Show. Free entry before 10pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Tue 02 • Sport: Crystal Palace v Wolves FA Cup. 8pm. Ticket details from www.cpfc.co.uk • Club: Bar Wars These are the drinks you're looking for! Every Tuesday at Black Sheep, the drinks deals are a force to be reckoned with...£1 a pint of Carlsberg, Olde English, Tetley's & Gaymers Pear Cider, £1 house spirit and mixer, £1 shot of Sourz or Wild! FREE entry before 9pm! Doors 7pm.. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Wed 03 • Comedy: Julian Clary On tour from February 3rd to March 21st. No Croydon dates but visits London, Hastings, Worthing amongst others www.julianclary.co.uk • Club: DISCORD Presents: BANGERS! THIS MONTH'S ACTS: LDZ (London Zoo), MANIC (Kraftsmen/Peoples Army) MR SKULLY BUG (T.P.S Fam/Swanky Tramp/Croydon Council) SINAR F, MENACE, & DANAMIKS (Croydon Council), MARK MY WORDS (Croydon Council) + Open Mic & Special Guest DJ's. £2 all night, Doors 8pm. CHEAP SHEEP drinks deals till 9pm, plus £1

what’s on Tequila shots & £1 bottle of beer all night long! Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Thu 04 • Music: David Devant and his Spirit Wife Live at the 100 club, Oxford Street. 7.30pm. £10 www.myspace.com/ daviddevantandhisspiritwife • Music: Roland Chadwick Live blues at The Oval - see daily what’s on for who’s playing when. Every Thursday and Sunday. Bands start 8pm Thursdays, 5.30pm Sundays. FREE entry! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR 020 8686 6023 www.ovaltavern.co.uk • Club: ALT. X Rock / Metal / Alternative with DJ Tony X plus guests. Cheap Sheep drinks deals till 10pm, plus £1 shots of Jager all night! Free before 10pm, doors 7pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Fri 05 • Poetry: Poets Anonymous Friday Poetry at the Fairfield Hotel Bar, 1 Lansdowne Road, Croydon, Surrey CR9 2BN. – Please note this is a new venue. Floor spots. From 8pm. £2 waged, £1 unwaged. Contact Peter for further details; peter@poetsanon.org.uk, 020 8645 9956 • Comedy: Chris Addison On tour from February 5th to April 1st. No Croydon dates but visits London, Epsom, Brighton amongst others www.chrisaddison.co.uk • Music: SolidState with support from The Magazines, The Cougars, The Quays, The Reflections, Tha Spartans. Entry £6

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on (£5 with flier). More info from http://doiop.com/solidstate Tommy Flynn's in Camden. 55 Camden High St, London, NW1 7JH • Club: WTF Four decades of Indie, alternative, electro and punk hits from DJ Zoe Urchin. Cheap Sheep drinks deals till 9pm. Doors 7pm, free entry before 10pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Sat 06 • Event: Waitangi Day New Zealand's national day, commemorating the signing of the Treaty of Waitangi on 6 Feb 1840. For details of celebrations in London see: www.waitangidaylondon.com • Event: Queen's Accession: gun salutes Queen Elizabeth came to the throne (aged 25) on 6 February 1952. To mark this event, cannons will be fired in the following locations: - A 41-gun salute at 12 noon fired by the King's Troop Royal Horse Artillery in Hyde Park, London (opposite the Dorchester Hotel: nearest Tube: Hyde Park Corner or Marble Arch) - A 62-gun salute at 1pm fired by the Honourable Artillery Company at the Tower of London (from the gunpark at the western end of London Wharf: nearest Tube: Tower Hill). - A 21-gun salute at 12 noon at The Long Walk in the grounds of Windsor Castle, Windsor (near the Brook Street entrance) more info: http://doiop.com/bignoise • Club: DJ Linton Dance bombs. Funk Rockets. Beatseeking missiles. Never outgunned. The biggest dancefloor monsters from DJ LINTON. Because it's war on the dancefloor. Cheap Sheep drinks deals till 9pm. Doors 7pm, free entry before 10pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar 42

Sun 07 • Event: Clown Service Each year, on the first Sunday in February, clowns gather for a church service in East London in memory of the British clown Joseph Grimaldi (1778-1837). The church service usually starts at 3pm at Holy Trinity Church in Dalston (Tube: Liverpool Street, then bus 149 or 242; nearest train station: Dalston Kingsland). Afterwards there is normally a performance by the clowns in a nearby school, and a chance to visit the Clowns Gallery and Museum. • Music: Steve Matthews's Razers Live blues at The Oval - see daily what’s on for who’s playing when. Every Thursday and Sunday. Bands start 8pm Thursdays, 5.30pm Sundays. FREE entry! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR 020 8686 6023 www.ovaltavern.co.uk

Mon 08 • Club: Half Price Mondays 50% off all drinks (excluding champagne) from 7pm til midnight. With music from The Katie and Alex Show. Free entry before 10pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Tue 09 • Sport: Crystal Palace v Swansea Championship. 7.45pm kick off. Ticket details from www.cpfc.co.uk • Club: Bar Wars These are the drinks you're looking for! Every Tuesday at Black Sheep, the drinks deals are a force to be reckoned with...£1 a pint of Carlsberg, Olde English, Tetley's & Gaymers Pear Cider, £1 house spirit and mixer, £1 shot of Sourz or Wild! FREE entry before 9pm! Doors 7pm.. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233.

what’s on

Please mention Deep-London when visiting venues... www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: Open Mic Every 2nd and 4th Tuesday of the month The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR 020 8686 6023 www.ovaltavern.co.uk

Wed 10 • Club: DISCORD: LIVE MUSIC EVERY WEDNESDAY presents: a night of heavy sounds from the mighty DOGSTATE with support from Croydon Download rockers AUGERBANE, plus more! Doors 8pm til late, £3 entry. CHEAP SHEEP drinks deals 8-9. £1 bottled Carlsberg all night! £1 tequila shots all night! Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Thu 11 • Music: Chris Youlden & the Shakey Vick Band Live blues at The Oval - see daily what’s on for who’s playing when. Every Thursday and Sunday. Bands start 8pm Thursdays, 5.30pm Sundays. FREE entry! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR 020 8686 6023 www.ovaltavern.co.uk • Music: INFESTATION & FLESHROT a “Brutal Death Metal Double Bill". In support of their EP 'Bow To None' ALT X presents Death Metal mongers INFESTATION with support from the devastatingly heavy FLESHROT followed by Rock/Metal/Alt with DJ Tony X. Doors 7.30pm, bands on 830-10pm. **FREE ENTRY!** CHEAP SHEEP drinks deals 73010pm, plus £1 Jager shots all night! Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Fri 12 • Music: Kobayashi plus support. £3 in advance or on the door. The Scream Lounge, 20a South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN www.kobayashirock.com • Club: WTF! Four decades of Indie, alternative, electro and punk hits from DJ Zoe Urchin. Cheap Sheep drinks deals till 9pm. Doors 7pm, free entry before 10pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Sat 13 • Sport: Six Nations Rugby Wales v Scotland 1.30-4.00pm (kick off 2.00pm) BBC One France v Ireland 4.15-6.30pm (kick off 4.30pm) BBC One • Sport: Watford v Crystal Palace Championship. 3pm kick off. Ticket details from www.cpfc.co.uk • Sport: Winter Olympics Swoosh, swoosh, tumble, FAIL! 17 days of skidding about start today. Opening Ceremony starts at 1.45pm. BBC TV. • Poetry: Poets Anonymous Saturday Poetry in the Primary Room, United Reformed Church, Addiscombe Grove, Croydon, Surrey. 2.30-4.00pm. £2.00. Bring your poetry to read and share. Contact Peter for further details; peter@poetsanon.org.uk, 020 8645 9956 • Music: Godsized ST VALENTINES DAY MASSACRE' GODSIZED/SWORN TO OATH/KAMIKAZE TEST PILOTS Doors 8pm Entry £6 (£5 WITH FLYER) SCREAM SHOWCASE ROOM, 20 SOUTH END, SOUTH CROYDON CR0 1DN www.screamstudios.net • Kids: Peppa Pigs Party Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG, 43

Booking line: 020 8688 9291 www.fairfield.co.uk • Club: DJ Linton Dance bombs. Funk Rockets. Beatseeking missiles. Never outgunned. The biggest dancefloor monsters from DJ LINTON. Because it's war on the dancefloor. Cheap Sheep drinks deals till 9pm. Doors 7pm, free entry before 10pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Sun 14 • Event: Valentine’s Day Well woop-de-doo. • Event: Chinese New Year Welcome to the year of the tiger. Main celebrations take place on Feb 21 (see listing) • Kids: Peppa Pigs Party Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG, Booking line: 020 8688 9291 www.fairfield.co.uk • Music: Live Jazz Every Sunday Lunchtime. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Sport: Crystal Palace v Aston Villa FA Cup 5th Round. 3pm. Live on ITV4. Another hat-trick from Danny Butterfield and we’re through! Ticket details from www.cpfc.co.uk • Sport: Six Nations Rugby Italy v England 2.00-4.30pm (kick off 2.30pm) BBC One. • Music: Eric Clapton and Jeff Beck The boys and their bands perform together and apart at the 02 www.bookingsdirect.com • Music: Errol Linton's Blues Vibe Live blues at The Oval - see daily what’s on for who’s playing when. Every Thursday and Sunday. Bands start 8pm Thursdays, 5.30pm Sundays. FREE entry!

what’s on

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on... The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR 020 8686 6023 www.ovaltavern.co.uk • Music: The Glitter Room Presents: Valentine's Day special 'Cupid's Cabaret' feat. Miss Banbury Cross (a dead ringer for a certain Miss Monroe), Mr.B The Gentleman Rhymer, The Divine Miss Em, Beulah Bell (2 routines), Ginger Blush (2 routines), Major Suttle-Tease, More or Lesque & Madame Galina Prima Ballerina, DJ $uave and Fancy Dress Competition! ** SPECIAL REDUCED RATE ADVANCE TICKETS ON SALE NOW 2-for-£13 ** Doors 7.30pm, Show 8.30pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Mon 15 • Sport: Plumpton Races Jumps horseracing. Near Brighton (40 mins direct train from East Croydon). More details from: www.plumptonracecourse.co.uk • Event: Jorvic Viking Festival A Viking festival in York, including a battle re-enactment on Saturday. For full details, see: http://doiop.com/fearsome • Club: Half Price Mondays 50% off all drinks (excluding champagne) from 7pm til midnight. With music from The Katie and Alex Show. Free entry before 10pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Tue 16 • Event: Shrove Tuesday PANCAKES! • Sport: Crystal Palace v Reading Championship. 7.45pm kick off. Ticket details from www.cpfc.co.uk • Sport: AC Milan v Man U Champions League. • Club: Bar Wars

These are the drinks you're looking for! Every Tuesday at Black Sheep, the drinks deals are a force to be reckoned with...£1 a pint of Carlsberg, Olde English, Tetley's & Gaymers Pear Cider, £1 house spirit and mixer, £1 shot of Sourz or Wild! FREE entry before 9pm! Doors 7pm.. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Event: Pancake Race Down Surrey Street between bar staff of various pubs. CHECK THIS IS HAPPENING BEFORE HEADING OUT! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub

Wed 17 • Event: Ash Wednesday The start of Lent, step away from the pie, fatso! • Sport: Porto v Arsenal Champions League. • Club: DISCORD: LIVE MUSIC EVERY WEDNESDAY presents TWIST NOT PUSH - A night of spacey guitars, ambient knob twiddling and hard EBM beats. Discord in association with Twist Not Push present a night of Electro Industrial EBM, Ambience and Prog: XYKOGEN (Electro Industrial EBM) tempOrary (Lee Chaos solo set) THE RESONANCE ASSOCIATION (Ambience, Electro, Prog and Experimental Landscapes) and IT (Spaced-out Prog Rock). £3 entry, doors 8pm. CHEAP SHEEP drinks deals 8-10pm, £1 bottles of carlsberg all night, £1 tequila shots all night! Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Thu 18 • Music: Sean Taylor Waits-ish and Martynesque, Sean has been variously described as "an absolutely superb guitarist" (Bob 44

Harris) and delivering a "truly sublime sonic soundscape" (Blues in Britain). Live blues at The Oval - see daily what’s on for who’s playing when. Every Thursday and Sunday. Bands start 8pm Thursdays, 5.30pm Sundays. FREE entry! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR 020 8686 6023 www.ovaltavern.co.uk • Club: ALT. X Rock / Metal / Alternative with DJ Tony X plus guests. Cheap Sheep drinks deals till 10pm, plus £1 shots of Jager all night! Free before 10pm, doors 7pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: Silent Disguise / Orestea (Metal) From 8pm. £2 (includes free entry to Black Sheep Bar) The Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN www.myspace.com/screamstudios 020 8099 4624, 020 8686 5788 lounge@screamstudios.co.uk • Music: Inner Fire The Ship, High Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/ theshipofcroydon.

Fri 19 • Music: Imogen Heap Shepherd’s Bush Empire. www.imogenheap.com • Comedy: Croydon Comedy Club Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG, Booking line: 020 8688 9291 www.fairfield.co.uk • Club: WTF! Four decades of Indie, alternative, electro and punk hits from DJ Zoe Urchin. Cheap Sheep drinks deals till 9pm. Doors 7pm, free entry before 10pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com

what’s on

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on... www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: Silas / Snakebite / Kyrbgrinder From 8pm. £3 The Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN www.myspace.com/screamstudios 020 8099 4624, 020 8686 5788 lounge@screamstudios.co.uk • Music: DJ Sean The Ship, High Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/ theshipofcroydon.

Sat 20 • Sport: Crystal Palace v Coventry Championship. 3pm kick off. Ticket details from www.cpfc.co.uk • Club: DJ Linton Dance bombs. Funk Rockets. Beatseeking missiles. Never outgunned. The biggest dancefloor monsters from DJ LINTON. Because it's war on the dancefloor. Cheap Sheep drinks deals till 9pm. Doors 7pm, free entry before 10pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: DJ Jimmy Mo The Ship, High Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/ theshipofcroydon.

Sun 21 • Event: Chinese New Year Celebrations The main events are in Gerrard Street, Leicester Square and Trafalgar Square; the nearest Tube stations are Charing Cross and Leicester Square. The entertainment includes lion and dragon dances, martial art demonstrations, Chinese food and music, and firecrackers. The usual timetable is as follows: - from 11:00: Grand Parade along the Strand, Charing Cross Road and Shaftesbury Avenue - 12:00 to 18:00: Entertainment on the main stage in Trafalgar Square - 14:00 and 17:00: Fire crackers / fireworks are set off in Leicester

Square - Arts, crafts and food stalls will be set up in the streets around Chinatown. More info from: http://doiop.com/cny • Dance: Anton and Erin Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG, Booking line: 020 8688 9291 www.fairfield.co.uk • Music: Rollo Markee & The Tailshakers At last! Rollo and the boys finally swing into CR0! With their Chesstoned authentic blues-swing sound of the 50s and 60s; they take us from Chicago to the West and around again. Live blues at The Oval - see daily what’s on for who’s playing when. Every Thursday and Sunday. Bands start 8pm Thursdays, 5.30pm Sundays. FREE entry! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR 020 8686 6023 www.ovaltavern.co.uk • Music: Live Jazz Every Sunday Lunchtime. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Acoustic Sunday Live acoustic bands plus open mic. Bar open from 5pm, music starts at 7pm FREE ENTRY The Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN www.myspace.com/screamstudios 020 8099 4624, 020 8686 5788 lounge@screamstudios.co.uk • Music: The Sunday Service with Reverend Elmo The Ship, High Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/ theshipofcroydon.

Mon 22 • Club: Half Price Mondays 50% off all drinks (excluding champagne) from 7pm til midnight. With music from The Katie and Alex Show. Free entry before 10pm. 45

Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Tue 23 • Music: Open Mic Every 2nd and 4th Tuesday of the month The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR 020 8686 6023 www.ovaltavern.co.uk • Club: Bar Wars These are the drinks you're looking for! Every Tuesday at Black Sheep, the drinks deals are a force to be reckoned with...£1 a pint of Carlsberg, Olde English, Tetley's & Gaymers Pear Cider, £1 house spirit and mixer, £1 shot of Sourz or Wild! FREE entry before 9pm! Doors 7pm.. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Wed 24 • Sport: Inter Milan v Chelsea Champions League. • Club: DISCORD: LIVE MUSIC EVERY WEDNESDAY presents DRUM MACHINE PROJECT plus supports (TBA). Doors 8pm til late, £3 entry. CHEAP SHEEP drinks deals 8-9. £1 bottled Carlsberg all night! £1 tequila shots all night! Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Thu 25 • Music: John Crampton John Crampton is not for weaklings: his driving, stomping National Steel delta attack and growling vocals result in a focussed intensity that does not fail to impress. Live blues at The Oval - see daily what’s on for who’s playing when. Every Thursday and Sunday. Bands start 8pm Thursdays, 5.30pm Sundays. FREE entry!

what’s on

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on... The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR 020 8686 6023 www.ovaltavern.co.uk • Club: ALT. X Rock / Metal / Alternative with DJ Tony X plus guests. Cheap Sheep drinks deals till 10pm, plus £1 shots of Jager all night! Free before 10pm, doors 7pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: STARSEED / FIRETONE / MORDECAI Frantic Promotions presents: STARSEED/FIRETONE/MORDECAI Starseed kick off their UK tour in Croydon. Doors 8pm Entry £5 (£4 WITH FLYER) SCREAM SHOWCASE ROOM SCREAM SHOWCASE ROOM, 20 SOUTH END, SOUTH CROYDON CR0 1DN www.screamstudios.net

Fri 26 • Sport: Six Nations Rugby Wales v France 7.30-10.00pm (kick off 8.00pm) BBC One • Club: WTF! Four decades of Indie, alternative, electro and punk hits from DJ Zoe Urchin. Cheap Sheep drinks deals till 9pm. Doors 7pm, free entry before 10pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: A NIGHT WITH THE BLUES: With Crosstown Lightnin’ (feat. ex NME Journalist Charles Shaar Murray) plus The Ritchie Lane Band and more tbc (Blues/rock) The Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN www.myspace.com/screamstudios 020 8099 4624, 020 8686 5788 lounge@screamstudios.co.uk • Music: DJ Sean

The Ship, High Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/ theshipofcroydon.

Sat 27 • Sport: Doncaster v Crystal Palace Championship. 3pm kick off. Ticket details from www.cpfc.co.uk • Sport: Six Nations Rugby Italy v Scotland 1.00-3.30pm (kick off 1.30pm) BBC One England v Ireland 3.30-6.00pm (kick off 4.00pm) BBC One • Event: Big Green Party Theatre Royal, Brighton • Music: London Mozart Players Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG, Booking line: 020 8688 9291 www.fairfield.co.uk • Club: DJ Linton Dance bombs. Funk Rockets. Beatseeking missiles. Never outgunned. The biggest dancefloor monsters from DJ LINTON. Because it's war on the dancefloor. Cheap Sheep drinks deals till 9pm. Doors 7pm, free entry before 10pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: WILLIAM W DRAKE / ZAG AND THE COLOURED BEADS A night of alternative transcendence with the ex-Cardiacs songwriter/keyboard player plus local psychedelic rock legends. 8pm. £5. The Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN www.myspace.com/screamstudios 020 8099 4624, 020 8686 5788 lounge@screamstudios.co.uk • Music: DJ Jimmy Mo The Ship, High Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/ theshipofcroydon.

Sun 28 • Music: Little Victor The Beale Street Blues Bopper boogies back in from West Memphis 46

and Hell with his top brand of juke joint. Swampy, spooky, special and here! Live blues at The Oval - see daily what’s on for who’s playing when. Every Thursday and Sunday. Bands start 8pm Thursdays, 5.30pm Sundays. FREE entry! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR 020 8686 6023 www.ovaltavern.co.uk • Music: Live Jazz Every Sunday Lunchtime. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: The Sunday Service The Ship, High Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/ theshipofcroydon.

Monday 01 March • Club: Half Price Mondays 50% off all drinks (excluding champagne) from 7pm til midnight. With music from The Katie and Alex Show. Free entry before 10pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Tue 02 • Club: Bar Wars These are the drinks you're looking for! Every Tuesday at Black Sheep, the drinks deals are a force to be reckoned with...£1 a pint of Carlsberg, Olde English, Tetley's & Gaymers Pear Cider, £1 house spirit and mixer, £1 shot of Sourz or Wild! FREE entry before 9pm! Doors 7pm.. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Wed 03 • Club: Discord - Live Music Every Wednesday Act tbc Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233.

what’s on

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on... www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: Slabdragger / No Second Chance / Golden Tanks 8pm, £2, A night of Southern Rock/stoner/doom metal. The Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN www.myspace.com/screamstudios 020 8099 4624, 020 8686 5788 lounge@screamstudios.co.uk

Thu 04 • Music: Live Blues Live blues at The Oval - see daily what’s on for who’s playing when. Every Thursday and Sunday. Bands start 8pm Thursdays, 5.30pm Sundays. FREE entry! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR 020 8686 6023 www.ovaltavern.co.uk • Club: ALT. X Rock / Metal / Alternative with DJ Tony X plus guests. Cheap Sheep drinks deals till 10pm, plus £1 shots of Jager all night! Free before 10pm, doors 7pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Fri 05 • Comedy: Jimmy Carr Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG, Booking line: 020 8688 9291 www.fairfield.co.uk • Comedy: Croydon Comedy Club Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG, Booking line: 020 8688 9291 www.fairfield.co.uk • Club: WTF! Four decades of Indie, alternative, electro and punk hits from DJ Zoe Urchin. Cheap Sheep drinks deals till 9pm. Doors 7pm, free entry before 10pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com

www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Sat 06 • Comedy: Boycie and Marlene Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG, Booking line: 020 8688 9291 www.fairfield.co.uk • Club: DJ Linton Dance bombs. Funk Rockets. Beatseeking missiles. Never outgunned. The biggest dancefloor monsters from DJ LINTON. Because it's war on the dancefloor. Cheap Sheep drinks deals till 9pm. Doors 7pm, free entry before 10pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: Dirty DC 8pm, £8, Dirty DC The Uk's leading AC/DC tribute, back by popular demand! The Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN www.myspace.com/screamstudios 020 8099 4624, 020 8686 5788 lounge@screamstudios.co.uk

Sun 07 • Music: Live Jazz Every Sunday Lunchtime. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Live Blues Live blues at The Oval - see daily what’s on for who’s playing when. Every Thursday and Sunday. Bands start 8pm Thursdays, 5.30pm Sundays. FREE entry! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR 020 8686 6023 www.ovaltavern.co.uk • Music: Acoustic Sunday Brighton's pint-sized, one-woman maelstrom DIRTY SCAVENGER heads a night of acoustic acts and open mic. Bar open from 5pm, music starts at 7pm FREE ENTRY The Scream Lounge, 20 South End, 47

Croydon, CR0 1DN www.myspace.com/screamstudios 020 8099 4624, 020 8686 5788 lounge@screamstudios.co.uk

Mon 08 • Comedy: Tim Vine Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG, Booking line: 020 8688 9291 www.fairfield.co.uk • Club: Half Price Mondays 50% off all drinks (excluding champagne) from 7pm til midnight. With music from The Katie and Alex Show. Free entry before 10pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Tue 09 • Club: Bar Wars These are the drinks you're looking for! Every Tuesday at Black Sheep, the drinks deals are a force to be reckoned with...£1 a pint of Carlsberg, Olde English, Tetley's & Gaymers Pear Cider, £1 house spirit and mixer, £1 shot of Sourz or Wild! FREE entry before 9pm! Doors 7pm.. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Wed 10 • Club: Discord - Live Music Every Wednesday Act tbc Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Mystic Mike is, apparently, on a ‘career break’, so this month, seeing as though it’s Chinese New Year, we’re taking a slightly different tack. Welcome to the Deep rough guide to Chinese Astrology. Easy tiger!

he foundation of the Chinese Zodiac was from the 12 "Earthly Branches" represented by the 12 animal symbols (The Rat, Ox, Tiger, Rabbit, Dragon, Snake, Horse, Sheep, Monkey, Rooster, Dog, Boar), the five elements (metal, water, wood, fire, and earth) and the Yin-Yang theory. The total cycle takes sixty years (created by multiplying the twelve animals and five elements) to complete - to return to a year with the same animal sign and same element. The cycle of 60 counting system begins with Wood Rat and ends with Metal Boar. As most people know, the Chinese Lunar cycle is not based on 12 linear months, as in the Western calendar, but on a 12-year repeating cycle. Each astrological animal symbol represents not a month, but a year. And again,

unlike the Western calendar that is based upon the movements of the Sun, the Chinese astrological calendar has its roots in the movements of the Moon. There are many myths and legends about how the 12 animals representing the 12 years in a lunar cycle came into being. One of the most popular is that the Lord Buddha called all the animals to come to him before departing this earth. Only 12 animals came, and as a reward he named a lunar year after each according to the order in which it arrived. The Rat was the first to get there, crossing the final river on the back of the Ox and jumping down in front. Following them were the Tiger, Rabbit (Hare), Dragon, Snake, Horse, Sheep (Goat, Ram), Monkey, Rooster (COCK!), Dog, and Boar (Pig). The Chinese believe that at their New Year, everyone becomes a year

older. They also believe that the year of a person's birth is the primary factor in determining that person's personality traits, physical and mental attributes and degree of success and happiness throughout his/her lifetime. Below we’ve done a little chart so you can work out what animal and element you are (I, for example, am a water rat), but there are also yin and yang and colour elements that affect each animal sign. Also, because the new year is determined by the new moon, if you were born in late Jan/early Feb, you may not be what you think you are. It’s all far too complex to go into here, but we’ve done a general thing for each animal over the next couple of pages. For more details there are a wealth of sites online that create exact horoscopes, if you’re into that sort of thing...

Metal

Water

Wood

Fire

Earth

Metal

Water

Wood

Fire

Earth

RAT

1900

1912

1924

1936

1948

1960

1972

1984

1996

2008

1901

1913

1925

1937

1949

1961

1973

1985

1997

2009

Water

Wood

Fire

Earth

Metal

Water

Wood

Fire

Earth

Metal

TIGER

1902

1914

1926

1938

1950

1962

1974

1986

1998

2010

RABBIT

1903

1915

1927

1939

1951

1963

1975

1987

1999

2011

Wood

Fire

Earth

Metal

Water

Wood

Fire

Earth

Metal

Water

DRAGON

1904

1916

1928

1940

1952

1964

1976

1988

2000

2012

SNAKE

1905

1917

1929

1941

1953

1965

1977

1989

2001

2013

Fire

Earth

Metal

Water

Wood

Fire

Earth

Metal

Water

Wood

HORSE

1906

1918

1930

1942

1954

1966

1978

1990

2002

2014

GOAT

1907

1919

1931

1943

1955

1967

1979

1991

2003

2015

Earth

Metal

Water

Wood

Fire

Earth

Metal

Water

Wood

Fire

MONKEY

1908

1920

1932

1944

1956

1968

1980

1992

2004

2016

ROOSTER

1909

1921

1933

1945

1957

1969

1981

1993

2005

2017

Metal

Water

Wood

Fire

Earth

Metal

Water

Wood

Fire

Earth

DOG

1910

1922

1934

1946

1958

1970

1982

1994

2006

2018

BOAR

1911

1923

1935

1947

1959

1971

1983

1995

2007

2019

The RAT - Tze The socially adept Rat possesses charisma, charm, intelligence and the ability to verbally exchange their eclectic knowledge. Sociable and romantic with complex emotions, those born into this 1st sign of the Eastern zodiac form deep emotional ties. The always thrifty Rat counts their pennies and knows how to spot a bargain. Impatient with those of slower of wit or actions, this soul needs a bright, energetic partner with a good sense of humor. The talkative Rat is also a natural writer and critic. High-strung, curious, and ever alert to their environment, the essence of this intellectual sign is 'concealment'. Rats gather strength during the midnight hours they rule, between 11:00pm 1:00am. Compatible with: Dragon / Monkey Incompatible with: Horse / Rabbit. Famous Rats: Shakespeare, Tolstoy, Mozart, Bonsai Editor... The OX - Chou Ox/buffalo is the hard working, serious loner of the family whose essence is endurance. The stable Ox is determined, strong, and conservative, with a notable gift for manual dexterity and working with their hands. Family and duty are of utmost importance. Souls born under this 2nd sign of the zodiac are capable of leading nations, not to mention running a most efficient household. Oxen are powerful individuals with stubborn, reliable personalities. Whether at home or at work these souls need to be captain of their ship and are dependable, honest, and stable. The quiet, yet firm Ox is a homebody, who possesses intense passion beneath their calm exterior. The industrious Ox needs partner of substance and loyalty. Oxen gather strength during the quiet postmidnight hours they rule, between 1:00am - 3:00am. Compatible with: Rat / Rooster Incompatible with: Tiger / Horse. Famous Oxen: Hitler, Napoleon, Margaret Thatcher, Peter Sellers. The TIGER - Yin The Tiger is the restless, adventurous, and always courageous risk-taker of the Chinese zodiac. With a sense of "empowered entitlement," nobility and humanitarian causes appeal to the generous Tiger. These souls are tenderhearted, and affectionate with their friends and family, yet self-reliant and fiercely independent. This is the most unpredictable of the 12 signs, blessed with charm, nerve and grand

ideas. Tigers flash brilliantly through life sometimes without caution for their own security. Courageous, enthusiastic, and optimistic, the passionate Tiger is an unconventional, yet humanitarian soul. The noble Tiger needs a sexy, exciting partner and gather their legendary strength during the pre-dawn hours they rule, between 3:00am - 5:00am. Compatible with: Dog / Horse Incompatible with: Goat / Ox. Famous Tigers: Oscar Wilde, Agatha Christie, Beethoven, Marilyn Monroe. The RABBIT (Vietnamese: CAT) Mao The well-mannered Rabbit/cat is diplomatic, easygoing, refined, and a devoted friend. Detached and aloof, the Rabbit flees personal upheaval and disruption. These souls excel in the fine arts, and are highly creative. Well grounded and virtuous Rabbits shun risk and emotional entanglements, choosing security, and quiet stability. Business partners extraordinare, peaceful and contented Rabbits possesses quiet sensuality and the gift of selfpreservation. Sensitive and easily hurt, the private Rabbit keeps their own council and is highly sought after for their friendship. The virtuous Rabbit needs a loving and unselfish partner. Cats gather strength during the breaking dawn hours they rule, between 5:00am - 7:00am. Compatible with: Pig / Dog Incompatible with: Rooster / Rat. Famous Wabbits: Eva Peron, Queen Victoria, Confucius, Orson Welles. The DRAGON - Chen The powerful Dragon is the physically healthy, sentimental visionary of the Chinese zodiac. Outspoken, lucky and financially fortunate, Dragons show boundless energy and vitality. These proud souls do not like to be challenged, and their nature is that of 'unpredictability'. Egotistic, high-profile Dragons are assertive, boisterous, and showy. Successful and popular, this 5th sign of the zodiac produces excellent actors and are born to be in the public eye. Lucky, original enthusiastic resourceful healthy. The infatuate Dragon needs a strong and intriguing partner, or else they may opt to live a solitary life. The Dragon gathers strength during its own morning hours of 7:00am - 9:00am. Compatible with: Dog / Horse Incompatible with: Goat / Ox. Famous Dragons: George Bernard Shaw, Martin Luther King, Lewis Carroll, Cary 50

Grant, Florence Nightingale, Cliff Richard. The SNAKE - Si The Snake is the wise philosopher and stealth personality of the Chinese zodiac. Physically attractive with flawless skin and flawless advice, the Snakes are the sages, psychiatrists and spiritual advisors of the zodiac. Quiet, 'accumulated strength' is the nature of their soul. Those souls born into Snake years are inclined towards abstract and aesthetic in life. Unusually gifted with deep intuitions, Snakes are uncommonly attractive, and the consummate philosopher and sage. Insight, compassion, subtlety, and discretion are the sum and substance of this 6th sign of the Eastern zodiac. The highly sensual Snake is possessive and needs an emotional partner who abandons themselves to feelings and passionate desire. The most harmonious time of day for the Snake is their own hours, between 9:00am - 11:00am. Compatible with: Rooster / Ox Incompatible with: Pig / Monkey. Famous Snakes: Gandhi, Darwin, Bob Dylan, Mao Tse-tung, Aristotle. The HORSE - Wu The Horses are the physically active, oratory and quick-witted athletes of the zodiac. Charming, independent, and decisive, the Horse prefers to be 'on the move' with places to go and people to see. Natural leaders, idealistic and humanitarian in character, the Horse is a gifted speaker and strong communicator. Elegant, witty, and charming, those born into Horse years are difficult to defeat in an argument, and always make a persuasive case. Often successful in politics or public speaking, the cheerful and friendly Horse is talkative and needs absolute freedom to maneuver through life?s pastures. This independent 7th sign of the zodiac needs a mate who stimulates their mind and appreciates their wit. Rejuvenating time of day for Horses is during their own high-noon hours, between 11:00am - 1:00pm. Compatible with: Dog / Tiger Incompatible with: Rat / Monkey Famous Horses: Muhammad Ali, Lenin, Chopin, Jimi Hendrix, Genghis Khan. The GOAT - Wei The Goats are the artists in temperament and in character. These changeable free spirits, love social gatherings, stimulating conversation, and interesting people. ?Propriety? and a beautiful environment

are important to their souls. Gentle in spirit, Goats desire a peaceful spot to exist undisturbed and un-obligated. Creative, sensitive and kind, those souls born into Goat years are warmhearted, disorganized, and extremely vulnerable. They are capricious, work when least expected to, and are never reached by being pressured or by a heavy hand. This 8th position in the zodiac is intelligent, sometimes insecure, and generous to a fault. This good Samaritan has a soft heart towards those less fortunate whether a homeless puppy or a needy friend, and needs a strong partner able to take the reins and handle their usually fortunate finances. Goats gather strength during their own early afternoon hours, between 1:00pm 3:00pm. Compatible with: Rabbit / Pig Incompatible with: Rat / Ox. Famous Goats: Robert de Niro, Rudolph Valentino, John Wayne, Arthur Ashe, Laurence Olivier The MONKEY - Shen The youthful and clever Monkey is the eternal child of the Eastern zodiac. These highly diverse and bright souls are 'irrepressible.' Monkeys are quick, restless, enterprising, and sexual. Mischievous and high-spirited, Monkeys are social, active, convincing, and are gifted with a hilarious sense of humor. Imagination, ingenuity, and resourcefulness characterize those born into a year of the multifaceted Monkey. Versatile, curious and easily bored, mischievous Monkeys are witty companions, indulgent, intelligent, and ready to play. This 9th sign of the zodiac is the most difficult to define due to their dual and sometimes contradictory nature. Monkey?s need mentally sharp partners who stimulate their cerebral resources. The best time of day for Monkeys are the hours they rule, between 3:00pm - 5:00pm. Compatible with: Rat / Dragon

Incompatible with: Horse / Snake. Famous Monkeys: Michael Caine, Johhny Cash, Bjorn Borg, Ian Fleming, Charles Dickens, Bob Marley, Peter O' Toole, Diana Ross, Mick Jagger The ROOSTER - You The Rooster is the military strategist and appearance conscious soul of the zodiac. Finely dressed with a taste for pageantry, the Rooster enjoys a lively, outgoing manner, and is most candid in speech. These efficient and methodical souls, work hard today, applying themselves, planning ahead for rewards tomorrow. Confident, resilient, and industrious, those souls born into Rooster years apply themselves to practical projects. Enthusiastic about details others may have overlooked, Roosters refuse to be bossed and are best suited to work which they have control over. Swanky Roosters may tend to boast a bit, but this 10th sign of the zodiac is a reliable and excellent friend. Roosters love to socialize and adore adornment and finery. The assertive Rooster needs a strong and self-assured partner whom they can respect. Rejuvenating time of day for Roosters is during their own sunset hours of 5:00pm - 7:00pm. Compatible with: Ox / Snake Incompatible with: Goat / Rabbit. Famous Cocks: Katherine Hepburn, Richard Wagner, Joan Collins, Dolly Parton The DOG - Xu The Dogs are the watchful worriers of the Chinese zodiac, and the champions of the underdog. The Dog is famous for complete loyalty towards their friends and loved ones, but intense ferocity towards the enemies of their loved ones. Anxiety, loyalty and protectiveness characterize the magnanimous Dog personality. Devotion, generosity, and perseverance are the cornerstones of the wary Dogs temperament. This 11th sign

of the Eastern zodiac is earnest, sincere and faithful to those whom they love, but being plagued by wariness, can have a sharp tongue, and a tendency to jump to conclusions. Cautious and serious regarding love, the Dog needs a trustworthy partner who has strong family sympathies, and appreciates their tenderhearted virtues. Low on ego, high on soapboxes, the Dogs' fair-minded humanitarianism is legendary. Best time of day for Dogs is between 7:00pm 9:00pm. Compatible with: Horse / Tiger Incompatible with: Rooster / Dragon. Famous Dogs: Winston Churchill, Michael Jackson, David Bowie, Madonna, Sophia Loren The PIG - Hai Considerate, long-suffering, and supremely honest, the unpretentious Pig makes a cheerful friend and sincere partner. This 12th and last sign of the zodiac is pragmatic and has an unquenchable thirst for new knowledge. They are often betrayed because of their faith in others, but are oftentimes rewarded with financial security due to their pure hearts. Companionship, physical love and emotional security are a must, and these souls need an easygoing mate who talks out problems instead of shouting. Gentle, yet strong of will, Pigs are motivated by their conscience. Resigned and accepting the world as it is, Pig souls do not push themselves ahead at the cost of another. Most harmonious time of day for the Pig is between 9:00pm - 11:00pm. Compatible with: Rabbit / Goat Incompatible with: Monkey / Snake. Famous Pigs: Tennessee Williams, Maria Callas, Henry Ford, Humphrey Bogart, Elton John, Jerry Lee Lewis.