Deep London 03/2010 by angela ferrara

deep online at: www.deep-london.co.uk • www.issuu.com • facebook • www.myspace.com/wiredmag • @bonsai_editor Hello there.. ...and welcome to issue 75. I often get asked what it’s like being a media mongrel and household name in this town, to which I always reply ‘dunno, s’alright I s’pose’, because I am a trained journalist and have a way with words. Then I get asked, because obviously being me is no fun at all, what it’s like to be a member of the Deep massive, the inner cadre, if you will, of this magazine. I, of course, cannot answer this question, but hopefully the following transcript of a text conversation following a particularly heavy night ‘researching’ held between an unaccountably injured Mr T (not him with the silly mohican - names have been contracted to protect the innocent) and an annoyingly chipper Mr B will help shed some light... T - “Hello, You alright? I appear to have injured myself. Did we man love? Good night for one and all!” B - "What an odd question. Certainly not. Ang wanted a group hug. If you have suffered complete loss of memory I will be happy - and more than a little amused - to fill in the blanks." T - “Please do. I remember group hug but nothing thereafter. I hope I caused no chagrin." B - "Of course not. Outside, we all performed dances from Oliver! This went on for some time. Both you and Ang perilously drunk, everyone laughing. You became euphoric. You clicked your heels and jumped about and suggested that you and Ang should be known as Fagin and the Dodger respectively. Then you, unaccountably, began doing impressions of famous steam locomotives by chugging up and down the street, pretending your hands were the wheels. "This," you said to a passing chav, "is the Mallard." Then you annouced you were going "to do the City of Glasgow.” A Jamaican somehow got involved in this and you sang a few bars of ‘Coal Black Mammy’ for him. We parted sometime after that. Last I saw you were dancing a highland fling in the middle of the main road at the top. You may have been run over. Hope this helps" So there you have it. Although it seems from further investigation that there may have been some embellishment, that’s pretty much what happened, apparently. Wanna be in my gang, my gang, my gang, d’you wanna be in my gang - oh yeah! I suspect some blame for the evening’s shenanigans must be laid firmly at the feet of one Mr Sunshine, who decided a round of double whiskeys at the end of the night was in order when all human sense suggested it was not. So anyway, that was my month. Hope yours was as much fun. The sun comes out and everyone goes mental - marvellous. Happy St Patrick’s Day everyone, Happy Mothers’ Day to all the mums out there and Happy Easter, in case I don’t see you before. Oh, yes, before I go, no CroydonHello this month but it will return next month with a film special. Pip pip, avanti and allons-y! Angela xx your bonsai editor

March 2010 Issue Seventy Five Contact Us: editor: angela ferrara tel: 07910 506197 e: angela@deep-london.co.uk staff and contributors: mystic mike, auntie may, lazy-boy, mik tubb, nick booth, wendy freer. croydonhello! editor: nick razzo e: hello@deep-london.co.uk advertising sales: call angela on 07910 506197 or e-mail angela@deep-london.co.uk publishing & design: deep-london web hosting: europahost, 94 southbridge road, south croydon, CR0 1AF, tel: 0845 644 1484. www.europahost.net random thanks: jean, tony, marie, jamie, paul, davina, jenny, joe, nick, tom, kenny, gav, howard.

happy birthday: amber get well soon: matt r.i.p: pete davis

GET YOUR EVENT LISTED: e-mail: ANGELA@ DEEP-LONDON.CO.UK what’s on listings are absolutely free!

Last date for inclusion in April issue -

24th March

MARCH 2010 THIS MONTHS FEATURES:

12 22

The Forum

Cheltenham!

Magic Brother

The Agony

Where’s Groove?

Food!

News

Letters

LISTINGS: What’s On Guide

16 24

Eight sides, two floors – and the travelator! NICK BOOTH goes in search of the legendary lost Whitgift Centre hostelry…

architecture of Croydon. If you look at photographs of the buildings cleared away to make room for the ‘space-age’ town centre redesign of the 1960s, you find on the whole

onservatives are sentimental about the past; socialists are sentimental about the future. Both are wrong. This aphorism is nicely demonstrable in the 4

The Forum in its heyday circa 1985

dowdy and somewhat narrow streets that are grimy, cramped and tired. The sane man can shed few tears for their demise. What those streets were replaced with has

turned out to be just as dowdy and dated in a quarter of the time. That free-and-easy future of â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;machines for living inâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; which so gripped the minds of

‘progressives’ never quite arrived. What the architects and highhanded town planners were actually creating was two or three vast concrete wind tunnels, all done on an inhuman scale. But there were some good bits. I’m quite fond of the Fairfield Halls, for example. But the best

this was the lost city of Atlantis of vanished Croydon public houses. A sort of Titanic of the local lost pub fraternity. I set a competition to find a good picture of The Forum. One Rickie Blaikie quickly obliged and then we all just gawped. There it was, The Forum, in all its bizarre,

The Forum was such a fixture of the Whitgift you never thought it would go. Maybe that’s why there are so few pictures of it - nobody thought it worth photographing. . . bit of modernism Croydon ever had was The Forum, the pub in the middle of the Whitgift Centre. When I started the Facebook group Lost Croydon Boozers & Clubs back in 2008 one of the aims was to find as many pictures of the Forum as possible. To me, and evidently to other members,

octagonal glory. And there was the travelator! The one that took you from ground floor almost to the upstairs bar. But let me rewind. Jiggery-pokery with that part of the shopping centre – The Forum stood just about where that fountain thingybob is in the

The Forum in death. It’s bad luck to change a pub’s name.

middle of the Whitgift, opposite where the suit shop is now. Though some people say it was much further forward. It was built in the part of the centre known as Trinity Square, in 1968. As you can see from the picture, it was a two-storey, eight-sided building – the design had a bit of a vogue then. There is a pub on Bankside rather like it, though smaller in scale. It was a restaurant and a bar and, when it opened for business on the 24th August, 1969 – one week after Woodstock, it suddenly occurs to me – its licensees were Mr and Mrs Fred Scott. It was open from 8.30 in the morning (serving food) to 10.30pm at night. 10.30pm! In the Whitgift Centre! Can you imagine that now… Wouldn’t want to be moseying around at that time in that neck of the woods these days. But back then if you’d got

Early to mid 70s, judging by the chap in the flares. Note the changes even between here and its closure.

stabbed through the heart for looking the wrong way at a truculent, drug-addled child wearing a hood over his head, you would have been on the front page of every newspaper in the country the next morning and questions would have been asked in Parliament. By 1973 it was being run by Derek and Vera Everett and was an Ind Coope house doing lunches and hot and cold snacks – see pic. Its telephone number was 01-686 8248. Try ringing that now. If someone picks it up and says, ‘Hello, Forum?’ and you can hear a busy bar in the background, put the phone down double quick and have a stiff drink. Then have another one. My own teenage memories of the Forum are sitting in the ‘fishbowl’ upstairs, swilling lager with pals and thinking what a funny old place it was. I knew a barman there once. He was a crook I seem to remember. But The Forum was such a fixture of the Whitgift you never thought it would ever go. Perhaps that’s why there seems to be hardly any

pictures of it – nobody thought it was worth photographing. Darren Terry, Lost Croydon Pubs member, said: ‘I recall the summers outside were a top laugh but I also remember Xmas Eve lunchtimes being an equally good session after a half day at

work. ‘What a great pub. I used to love the loonies that drunk in there. My first job was working for Sun Alliance in Lansdowne Road, so every lunchtime we used to get through the underpass, five quid out of the Nat West on the way and spend a great lunchtime in there.’ Intriguingly, according to hairdresser and local lo-fi singersongwriter, Nick Reeves ‘it was a haunt of several of the Wonder Stuff at some point.’ And, on sending through the much anticipated interior picture (see over), ‘Here it is - the holy grail! This is inside The Forum (the Whitgift Centre): as to placing a date on it...mmm... well, it's all a little hazy! over my (eek!) right shoulder is Sheraton& Hughes... which was yet to become Waterstones. The orange hair and, ahem, dreads would suggest mid to late eighties.As you can see it is day time...’ Clare Cook said: ‘It was lovely to sit in the sun on your lunchbreak; when the weather

“What a great pub. Every lunchtime we used to get through the underpass, five quid out of the Nat West on the way, and spend a great lunchtime in there. . .”

was nice you could catch the rays as there was plenty of seats.’ Tim Radley offered these memories: ‘I remember spending Thursday afternoons in The Forum when we had a two-hour lunch break from college, we all used to get tipsy then go back to college for a three-hour session in the kitchen, every week a different person cut or burnt themselves.’ Maggie Albert Thompson said: ‘This used to be one heaving place in the summer days! I remember dashing out in my lunch break to pop in there, such laughs! The Whitgift Centre has never been the same since!’ Other memories from the Lost Pubs facebook group is of ‘huge groups of skinheads standing outside, all drinking Skol.’ Debbie Kilby said: ‘I met my husband there on my 20th Birthday in 1985! – Fantastic place; Croydon was never the same once they pulled it down.’ But pulled down it was. Aged just 24 and operating under the name The Merchants’ Arms it was demolished on the 21st May, 1993, to make way for a revamped shopping centre which had no place for the art of the public house. Bad luck to change a pub’s name. In the end, The Forum wasn’t part of the future and didn’t belong to the past, at least not in the way it does now. It was, in its odd and provincial little way, unique and I think the Lost Pub members are right, Croydon hasn’t been the same since it disappeared. If anyone has any more pictures of the Forum (colour pictures and interior shots especially welcome) please email them to: nickboothjournalist@gmail.com. Visit and join the Lost Croydon Boozers group on Facebook at http://doiop.com/croyboo. 10

View from the back of the Whitgift. Forum ringed.

“This used to be one heaving place in the summer days. Such laughs! The Whitgift Centre has never been the same since.”

The holy grail. Nick Reeves shot of the interior, maybe taking the whole Roman theme a tad too far. And nice jumper, obviously...

The Thrill of the Chase J

ump jockeys are seriously brave sportsmen. Compared with the cheating, posing, delinquent thug-divas of premier league football they show courage and flair almost on a scale of military heroics. That goes for the horses they ride as well. Anyone who’s ever watched a steeplechase will know this. And soon there will be ample opportunity to watch the finest jump racing in the world – the Cheltenham Festival. The four days (16-19 March) that mark the high point of the British jumps racing circus. Millions are gambled and there are fortunes to be made and lost: I’ve just put an ante-post yankee (six doubles, four trebles and an accumulator) on that will net me £25,000 – if the horses involved oblige… The Festival is a Mecca for the Irish – St Patrick’s Day coincides with the festival – and the

proceedings usually become a sort of unofficial war between Irish and English horses. The Festival – which has been held at Prestbury Park, Gloucestershire, since its inauguration in 1902 – begins with a roar – the crowd bellow in unison as the first race begins – and ends, near enough, with the Cheltenham Gold Cup, which in recent years has become a duel between two horses from the same stable: Denman and Kauto Star. The race is the most prestigious chase in the calendar and its history is littered with famous horses, whose names shine, as Joseph Conrad said of famous ships, like jewels in the night of time: legends such as Arkle, Golden Miller, and Mill House. The four days are stuffed with top races – Grade 1s - including the Champion Bumper, Triumph Hurdle, Ryanair Chase, Supreme 12

Novices' Hurdle, Neptune Investment Management Novices' Hurdle, Arkle Challenge Trophy, RSA Chase, Champion Hurdle, World Hurdle and the Queen Mother Champion Chase. The late Queen Mum was a huge fan of horse racing. Her daughter, the Queen, is no less enthusiastic (myself and the editress of this periodical had the pleasure of briefly meeting Her Majesty at the Derby last year, and we can confirm she was having a whale of a time) and has a horse running at the Festival – Barbers Shop. It used to be said that the Queen read two papers in the morning – the Financial Times and the Sporting Life. Getting a horse round Cheltenham is an achievement in itself, getting one up the hill to the finish line first is something else again. The racing is the most thrilling available in one of the most

exciting and underrated sports. Jumps racing – National Hunt to give it its official name – originates from foxhunting in England and from the Irish pasttime of racing horses between villages, with the steeple of each village church providing start and finish post. The first steeplechase is said to have been the result of a wager in 1752 between Mr. Cornelius O’Callaghan and Mr. Edmund Blake, racing four miles (6 km) crosscountry from Buttevant Church to St. Leger Church in Doneraile, in Cork, Ireland. Those two fellas didn’t know what they were starting. From a betting point of view the value that is on offer at Cheltenham can be amazing. Horses that would start in other races at odds-on can be chalked up at 20/1 and more. A couple of fat-priced winners at Cheltenham can set you up for springtime like nothing else. Of course, we won’t all make it to Cheltenham, but there are plenty of pubs where the hair-raising madness can be watched in comfort and with the Guinness flowing (the Whyteleafe Tavern, Fox and Hounds, the Norbury and the Scream Lounge are all showing all of it). If you’ve never taken much notice of the Cheltenham Festival, give it a whirl – you may not win, but after seeing a few races you’ll never again hear a footballer called a hero without laughing. NICK BOOTH

TIPS CORNER Deep racing tipster FLASH HARRY gives you a few live ones for the Festival.

“

You can have it off at Cheltenham and no mistake. If I’m not in the slammer I always go. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve gone there with ten nicker in me bin and come back flush as a robin’s chest. It’s a good drink as well. I ain’t been sick on the Queen yet, but I always have a good try each year. I’m giving you Deep readers some free advice – I usually charge – on how you can make a few bob this year. I like IMPERIAL COMMANDER in the Cheltenham Gold Cup. He’s a general 16/1 with most bookies. Kauto Star and Denman are the hot fancies for this race, just like usual. But think about it: Denman’s only got to be in one of his funny moods and Kauto’s only got to make one mistake and then Imperial Commander could be bang there at a juicy price. I’ve thought for some time this is a horse to follow over cliffs, so LUMP ON – each way. TWIST MAGIC at 10/1 in the Queen Mother Champion Chase; MOURAD in the Ladbrokes World Hurdle at a spanking 40/1 each way. RIVERSIDE THEATRE at 12/1 in the Irish Independent Arkle Chase; VOLER LA VEDETTE at 20/1 in the Champion Hurdle; SUMMIT MEETING in the Novices’ Hurdle at 33/1 each way and my bet of the meeting – Nicky Henderson’s SOLDATINO, who was 16/1 but has come in to 8s, and there’s still two weeks to go – some big racing brains have stuck moolah on that baby and no mistake. Other gambling advice – always bet more than you can afford – no fun otherwise, and always drink and smoke heavily as well…” (Mr Harry’s opinions are not necessarily those of the magazine and we would like to strenuously oppose his advice, as the Government tells us to – Editor)

A Night Of Magic First-time reviewer Petal Dunwoody on Nick Reeves and the debut gig from Magic Brother...

h yes, another free and inspiring night at the Green Dragon. I’ve seen some strange and wonderful things there and this was something I was excited about: The new band of Magic Sam supported by la Nick Reeves. Being late as usual Nick was half way through is set. The magic was there. On his own without the rest of the Cassettes he sat as though in a shrine. The place was full and he sat on the front of the stage barefoot. Without his usual band there was a hint of vulnerability but this was dispelled by a sense of place and belonging. The lyrical content was strong and reminded me of Robert Wyatt in early Soft Machine where you sing of where you are, the value of where you are turned back to all around. “...introduce you to the Dean” sticks in my mind, but there is so much more of import to spread the feeling of place and belonging. The Magic Brothers were a long awaited return to the stage from Magic Sam. A new Croydon lineup including Rob Delta - fine DJ and man of taste - on guitar and keys, Joe, erstwhile Cassette guitarist on bass and harmonica, Faye on flute, vocals and keyboards and Nick on Drums. First gigs are tough, I know I have had plenty of one trick dead losses to contend with. Any nerves were unnecessary though. This is a great venue to allow new approaches and new bands to thrive. They started out with panache, with something late sixties, beat pop. Not being a reviewer of any standing, something like Brian Augur. The flute taking the top line against sometimes ‘difficult’

guitar from Sam made me very happy. The early part of the set had a pleasing chunky feel; Rob riffing on the guitar, groovy bass and a swing to the drums very nice in all ways. It was a bit of a trek to get another drink and have a gasper outside the pub but that's life. I came back and Rob had started on the keyboards. An impressive array, though I suspect he would never wish to

bother with Rick Wakeman. There was movement between instruments and in the audience. I have to admit I am a complete sucker for spacey synth sounds. So were the rest of the people there. A first gig that went very well. They were tight, fun, and played some great tunes. A night of inspiration for anyone wanting to get inspired.

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Septuagenarian agony aunt cum rock mutton Auntie May goes all ‘schweres metall’ on our arses. . .

ello again to all my lovely friends. Well, after last month’s rather music (and alcohol)-free offering, I was delighted to start the month with a longawaited trip to see the fabulous Rammstein. I’ve been freaking Edith out for weeks by playing the video for Pussy on my laptop whenever she has a visitor, so she was quite relieved to see me struggling

good dance to get the evening warmed up. Not that I needed to worry, as once Rammstein got going there was more fire on stage than in Pudding Lane in 1666. The show was amazing, with huge metal wings, babies dangling on strings, a rubber dinghy, a treadmill and a huge petrol pump, and it didn’t even matter that you couldn’t understand a word they were

Once Rammstein got going there was more fire on stage than in Pudding Lane in 1666. . . on about. It was one of those into my leather trousers and shows where you were really hooker heels and staggering disappointed that it had to end off in the direction of East Croydon. Halfway to Wembley I was regretting turning down her invitation to pack me a peanut butter sandwich and by the time I arrived I was convinced the grumbling from my stomach would drown out the music. Undaunted, however, I doled out a small fortune for a pint of gassy stuff at the bar, and proceeded to force my way through the crowds towards the front. Combichrist started off the proceedings and I was very impressed with their double vertical drumkit arrangement and had a jolly 18

and I’d love to see them again. Back in Croydon, I’ve been making a point of visiting Stuff (where Beano’s used to be) on a regular basis and have to say that this is certainly the best thing that has happened to shopping in Croydon for years, providing affordable units for small traders and a shopper’s escape from the unutterably boring chainstore-dominated high street If you’re stuck for ideas for a Mother’s Day gift (hint!), you’re bound to find inspiration there. There are still a few empty units but it’s filling up fast and I look forward each visit to seeing what’s opened up since last I’m sorry Rammstein fans but all I can think of when looking at this picture is ‘stonehenge’ - Ed.

time. If you haven’t been yet, it’s not to be missed, particularly as, to Edith’s delight, they’re doing free tea and coffee upstairs until April. I don’t know whether you’ve noticed, but this year there seems to be a serious shortage of snowdrops. Not a major disaster in the big scheme of things, I hear you say, but nonetheless, the sight of those lovely little white flowers in the middle of all that horrible miserable cold weather really cheers me up and makes me think that perhaps, eventually, I’ll wake up one morning and think, “Wow, I can leave my vest off today”, although at the moment I think it unlikely. After several weeks of fruitless “looking out for snowdrops” I

eventually found a small cluster under a tree by a block of flats in South Croydon. Are these the only ones that have braved the cold this year? Will there be a national daffodil

Awards at the Purple Turtle in Camden on the 20th (I do love turning down invitations with the words, “I’d have loved to, but I’m at an awards ceremony that night”) and the Coulsdon

I’m coming out of hibernation this month, vest or no vest. . . shortage in a month or so? Will I ever be able to leave my vest neatly folded in the drawer? Is a Husky more useful than a Belgian Shepherd? Well I’m coming out of hibernation myself this month, vest or no vest. The amazing Dirty DC are back in Croydon at Scream Lounge on 6th March and I’m looking forward to the Pure Rawk

Theatre Workshop’s production of Dracula at the end of the month promises to be another entertaining night. And if you want to do something worthwhile for charity and have some fun at the same time, come along to the Ship on Wednesday 24th and help raise some money for Victim Support with some live music and other shenanigans. See you at the bar!

A blatantly ripped off game for eagle-eyed readers...

t’s back, our homage to two of our favourite telly programmes, The Hoobs and Harry Hill’s TV Burp and our very own version of ‘where has the knitted character been this week’. Except without a knitted character, and without it being on telly, and with substantially shabbier prizes, and monthly. In case you weren’t around last issue, here’s a brief precis of it all: 1) Every month we’ll deposit the Editor’s very own prized Groove Hoob fluffy toy somewhere in one of our stockists’ premises in sunny Croydon or the surrounding bits where Deep gets distributed. We’ll give you a tiny clue as to his

whereabouts. 2) You spot Groove. 3) E-mail where you saw our furry friend to hello@deep-london.co.uk with the subject line ‘Groove’, or text Groove and where you saw him to 07910 506197. (Texts charged at standard Virgin message rate) 4) Win a prize of either a) something crap and fluffy which we’ve won in the groping grabber machine / coconut shy on Brighton Pier, or b) something else we’ve found lying around the office, or even c) something quite good. 5) Get your picture in the magazine and gain an immense amount of kudos.

Remember, we don’t expect you to go trawling all over South London looking for a green Hoob but if in the course of your travels this month you happen to spot a green Hoob then really, what could be easier than to let us know and you may win a lovely prize (and get your picture in the mag and get kudos etc etc). This month’s clue: Groove is watching the horse racing in a BAR (read the rest of the mag and it’ll be obvious). Closing date for this month’s competition is 25th March 2010. Good luck and happy Hoobspotting...

here’s Groove, look, high above the bar in the Porter and Sorter. How any of you failed to spot him is a mystery to me (don’t you people ever look up?!?) but the only person who told me they had (apart from 6 of my friends, and they’re sort of exempt for entering, even though I didn’t tell them he was there) was a bloke from Scotland in Croydon for work who picked up the mag for the first time ever, spotted Groove, sent me a text about it and gained himself a crisp £20 note 22

for doing so. We TOLD you the prizes might occasionally be worth winning, maybe you’ll try harder this month, eh? Oh, last month’s clue was that Groove was waiting for a Valentine’s letter in a pub, which should have led you to the Porter and SORTER - it’s a post office thing. Anyway, well done Iain for spotting him, thanks to Kenny for making Groove comfortable lounging on the light fitting high in the sky, and good luck to the rest of you this month.

The return of Croydon’s answer to Fanny and Johnny with all things craic-led and Guinness-y...

ctually, I think you’ll find that the strapline above should say ‘triumphant’ return, even if we do say so ourselves, as we’ve found a bit of a winner here in our marvellous home-made Steak and Guinness pie. Bloody LOVELY! Look at it - LOOK how nice does that look? The recipe serves four, but as there’s only two of us, we halved the amount of meat and shallots, but left everything else pretty much the same, although we only used about 350ml of Guinness, which is more than half, but there you go. Even halved the recipe made loads enough for a small second helping each. For our pastry we just bought some jus-rol puff (other pastry makes are available), which was a piece of cake to do, so don’t be daunted by the use of pastry here. Also, not being furnished with a pie dish, we just did ours in a pyrex dish, and it was fine. Actually it was spectacular, as you can see from the empty plates, and we served it with some green beans. Oh, and we bought our meat and most of the other ingredients from Surrey Street market and we reckon it came to about £8 all told, which is a bargain! The filling for this pie is cooked long and slow, tenderising the beef and allowing the flavour of the Guinness to permeate it. You could prepare the filling a day in advance. You will need: 750g lean braising steak, eg, skirt of beef, 4 tbsp plain flour, Freshly ground salt and pepper, 4 tbsp olive oil, 1 tbsp tomato purée, 500ml Guinness, 350g shallots, peeled, Few sprigs of thyme, 2 bay leaves, 2 garlic cloves, peeled, 500g shortcrust pastry, 1 free-range egg yolk mixed with 1 tbsp water. Method: 1) Dice the beef into 2.5cm cubes. Place the flour in a medium-sized bowl and season well with salt and pepper. Roll

Home-made steak and Guinness pie before... the beef in the flour to coat. 2) Heat the oil in a large pan and fry the beef until golden brown in colour. Add the tomato purée and cook for 1 minute, stirring well. Then pour in the Guinness and add the shallot, thyme, bay leaf and garlic. Season with salt and pepper. Cover and simmer for 1? hours. Remove the bay leaf and discard. 3) Preheat the oven to 200C/Gas 6. 4) Transfer the meat to a 20cm pie dish 5-7cm deep. 5) Roll out the pastry and cover the pie. Scrunch the pastry to the edge of the dish and trim around the edge, leaving 1-2cm overhanging. Brush the top with the egg. 6) Transfer to a baking tray and place in the oven. Bake for 15-20 minutes and serve immediately. Om nom nom... Seriously, this is a great recipe - easy to make and ridiculously tasty - we’d encourage you to have a go at it. -------------------------------Now, you have the problem of some left-over Guinness. Oh, what to do, what to do? Well, you have the choice of just necking it, 24

obviously, or you could make a Black Velvet Cocktail (half Guinness, half Champagne (or cider, if you’re skint), bung in a glass (or be ultra posh and add the Guinness then dribble the Champers in over the back of a spoon so the two don’t mix), drink. Repeat). Or how about a Smooth Black Russian, which is 1.5 measures of vodka, 1 measure coffee liqueur (e.g. Tia Maria or Kahlua), ice, Guinness. Add the vodka, coffee liqueur and ice into a cocktail shaker and shake once or twice. Strain over an ice filled tall glass and top with just enough Guinness to give it a head. --------------------------------------------While we’re here, what about a Home-made steak and Guinness pie after...

couple of Bailey’s Irish Cream cocktails and Jameson cocktails, I hear you ask. We’re way ahead of you, so here’s another Russian, this time a Blonde Russian, sometimes called a Bolshevik, which is 1.5 measures vodka, 1 measure coffee liqueur (e.g. Tia Maria or Kahlua), 1 measure Baileys. Method: First pour the vodka over an ice filled rocks glass, then add the coffee liqueur, then the Baileys, finally add a straw for the drinker to mix it. Baileys seems to be used a lot in layered drinks, or Pousse Café. This name originated in France where layered cocktails are popular after dinner drinks, served with coffee. Pousse Café glasses are narrow and taller than shooter glasses. The idea is to sip and enjoy each layer separately (so not chuck it all down in one go then). Here’s the ABC Pousse Café , which is 1/2 shot Amaretto, 1/2 shot Baileys, 1/2 shot Cointreau Method: Layer in order - to layer simply add the ingredients to the glass one at a time, usually in the order the ingredients are given in the recipe. After the first layer is in, pour successive layers slowly over the back of a spoon. When done properly, each layer will float on the one below. Some authorities say the C in the title ABC is cognac not cointreau: you may like to compare...

ABC Pousse Café Cocktail We’ll leave Bailey’s here as we’re getting into ‘Brain Haemorrhage’ territory - yeugh! So we’ll move onto some Jameson cocktails, which are pretty much just whiskey (or whisky) cocktails using Jameson Irish Whiskey, but anyway, here’s the Jameson Whiskey Sour. You’ll need 1 part Whiskey, 1 part Lemon juice (freshly squeezed), 1 part Sugar syrup, dash of Angostura Bitters, Ice, Lemon rind. Method: Shake the ingredients with cracked ice. Strain and pour into a tumbler, garnish with lemon rind.

And finally, to finish, as all good meals should, with a classic Irish Coffee, which is simply 1 cupful of strong, hot, black coffee, 1 tsp sugar, 1 measure whiskey, 1 small carton double cream Method: 1. Take a wine glass and pour enough of the coffee to fill it just over half way. 2. Add the sugar and stir until it dissolves. 3. Add the whisky and stir. 4. Slowly pour a thick layer of double cream, over the back of a teaspoon, on to the top of the coffee so that it floats on top. Drink. Lovely. Fanny and Johnny are now several over the eight thanks to all the cocktails, but we’ve had a craic, as I believe it’s called. Happy St Patrick’s Day! Irish Coffee

News-hound May contain news.

xciting news all round this month, so we’ll dive straight in and start with telly news. I’m sure most of you already watch Harry Hill’s TV Burp, but if you don’t, or if you missed it last week, then you may have missed Croydon’s finest ever TV moment as Harry performed a song called ‘I love Croydon’ at the end of the show. You can watch it here: http://doiop.com/ilovecroydon. I pretty much guarantee that it’ll be stuck in your head forever. Altogether now; “Croydon, city of a thousand dreams, I love Croydon, has a very strong branch of Nando’s...” Nice one Harry! I’m sending him one of my Croydon tshirts as we speak... Elsewhere, in shock ‘Council has sense of humour’ news, the first ever Croydon Film Festival is scheduled to take place in April, but thanks to the genius of council cool people Davina and Jenny, it looks set to be a marvellous mixture of serious screenings (including Q&A’a with directors such as Mike Faulkner, Kolton Lee, Nick Moran) in the Clocktower and something a little bit more fun under the heading ‘Fabulous Films in Unusual Locations’. The highlights of this strand include turning the top floor of Centrale car park into a drive-in for screenings of ‘Dawn Of The Dead’ and ‘The Italian Job’ (the original good one), ‘Sing-A-Long-A-Wicker-

Man’ at The Green Dragon pub, Cinecabagogo (a cinema in the back of a black cab), ‘Pippi Longstocking’ at IKEA and loads more, as well as a film-makers conference, loads of workshops and other screenings and just general passion about film. It sounds utterly fabulous and I, for one, can’t wait. There’s also possibly another mega-exciting screening thanks to Paul Davis (next month’s CroydonHello star), but we’re keeping that under our hat for now... We’ll have full details of dates, times and prices in next month’s mag but if you’re excited about it, as we are, please visit www.CroydonFilmFestival.com for full details and info. In music news, after a sojourn into the wondeful world of songs about cricket with The Duckworth Lewis Method, Neil Hannon is back with The Divine Comedy, and they have a new album, called ‘Bang Goes The Knighthood’ which will be released on 31st May 2010. Brilliant! More info from www.thedivinecomedy.com. Next up, the return of Bill Bailey news, and it seems Bill is to work on the stage musical of A Fish Called Wanda. John Cleese and his daughter Camilla have written the script for the project – and have now drafted him in to add the songs. The Cleeses began work on the book early last year, expecting it to take up to three years to hit the stage. The plan is to debut it in San

TV Burp

Diego, before a hopeful transfer to Broadway and London’s West End, where they hope it will emulate the success of the Monty Python musical Spamalot. Cleese said in his email newsletter today: ‘It appears that my daughter, Camilla, is doing her best to outpace her dear old dad at every turn. ‘We've just completed the book for the musical of A Fish Called Wanda and I'm pleased that Camilla hasn't completely stolen all of my dignity in writing so brilliantly. She's left me a few scraps to hang onto to keep me warm at night. ‘Soon, we'll start to work on the songs for the show with Bill Bailey, who, among his many achievements, is an honourary member of the Society of Crematorium Organists. This musical is destined to be a hit amongst funeral directors.’ Bailey, incidentally, is also in Burke and Hare (see CroydonHello!) Finally, it’s Booze News, and it appears, according to Korean scientists, that by using oxygenation an alcoholic drink can be produced that you sober up from faster and which reduces hangovers without reducing the strength of the alcohol. Intrigued? Read more at: http://doiop.com/boozenews And that’s about it for this month. If you have any news please feel free to send it to angela@deeplondon.co.uk. If not, as you were...

The Wicker Man

Stockists: CENTRAL CROYDON: • All Bar One • Bar Red Square • Bar Se7en • Beanos Records • Bedford Tavern • Black Sheep Bar • Brief • Bull’s Head • Clocktower (Tourist Info) • Dog & Bull • Eagle • Fairfield Halls • Goose on the Market • Gun Tavern • Green Dragon • Half and Half Lounge Bar • Loop Pool Bar • Milan Bar • Mojama • Natterjacks (St George’s Walk) • Royal Standard • Ship • Spreadeagle • Steelpoint Tattoo • Strictly UK (Tramms) • Surrey Cricketers • Tiger Tiger • Timebomb Clothing • Walkabout • Yates’s Wine Lodge EAST CROY: • Builders Arms • Glamorgan • Orchard • Oval • Porter & Sorter • Tramlink Info Centre • Warehouse Theatre WEST CROY: • Bird in Hand • Sims Tattoos • Davys Wine Bar • Forbidden Planet • Fox and Hounds • Windmill

Pick up your copy of Deep from any of these lovely places:

SOUTH END & SOUTH CROY: • Bodega • Croham Arms • Crown & Pepper • Crown & Sceptre • Earl of Eldon • Edge • Folly • Jalalis • Kays Off Licence • LA Fitness (Royal Oak) • La Spezia Deli (Old Pharmacy - Swan & Sugarloaf) • Laithwaite’s Wines (opp. Windsor Castle) • Peking Tasty • Purley Arms • Rail View • Red Deer • Rupali • Ruskin House • Sackville Gallery • Scream Studios • Stag & Hounds • Sth Croydon BR • Swan & Sugarloaf • Txt Bar • Treehouse • Unwins (Swan & Sugarloaf) • Wheelwrights Arms • Windsor Castle • Woodman • Zizzi ADDISCOMBE: • Alma Tavern • Claret Free Hs • Cricketers PURLEY: • Baan Thai • Brass Monkey • Coffee Bay (by Purley BR) • Elliott’s • Jolly Farmers • Las Fuentes • Rectory • Purley BR • Purley Pool • Purley Oaks BR • Station Cars

PURLEY WAY: • Gipsy Moth • Premier Travel Inn Hotel • Green’s Gym

Listings Index: What’s on? 29 full weekly and daily guide All our information was correct at the time of going to press, but as the only certainty in life is change, we suggest you check before heading out. The opinions and reviews which follow are those of the Editor and staff - if you have an issue to raise about them, please ring us, rather than the venue.

COULSDON: • The Pembroke OLD COULSDON: • The Fox • Tudor Rose

Got something going on? We’re not psychic, people - let us know! What’s on listings are FREE! Call Angela on 07910 506197 or e-mail: angela@deep-london.co.uk

SANDERST’D: • Sanderstead BR • Stones Hair Salon • Wine Cellar

Deep-London Readership: 25,096 monthly

SHIRLEY: • Cricketers • Crown • Sandrock • Shirley Inn • Surprise Inn FORESTDALE: • Forestdale Arms • McDermott’s Fish Restaurant SELHURST: • Pepperton UK • Selhurst Arms • White Horse • Two Brewers • Lion Inn THORNTON HEATH: • The Lord Napier WOODSIDE GREEN: • Beehive

plus online at www.deep-london.co.uk on facebook (deep-london), www.myspace.com/wiredmag, www.issuu.com, http://ski:im

GET YOUR EVENT LISTED: e-mail: ANGELA@ DEEP-LONDON.CO.UK

Last date for inclusion in April issue -

24 March 2010 Advertising in Deep-London:

SOUTH NORWOOD: • Portmanor

Prices from £100 upwards depending on size and placement all prices are per month, full colour and VAT exempt

KENLEY: • Kenley Arms

discounts available for block booking etc

FREE advert design service

WHYTELEAFE: • Whyteleafe Tavern

To advertise please call Angela the Editor on: 07910 506197 / 020 8680 3558 e-mail: angela@deep-london.co.uk 28

what’s on Book Now For: • Event: London Burlesque Week April 20 to 25th. Various venues. Check the website for more details: www.londonburlesqueweek.com • Comedy: Paul Merton’s Improv Chums On tour from April 23 to June 19th. No Croydon dates but visits London, and Brighton amongst others www.comedystoreplayers.com • Music: Paul Weller 27 & 28 May 2010. at The Royal Albert Hall www.paulweller.com • Sport: England v Australia Cricket June 22, 24, 27, 30, 3 July 5 One Day Internationals. www.ecb.co.uk • Music: Pearl Jam 25th June Hard Rock Calling at Hyde Park. www.hardrockcalling.co.uk 0844 847 2502 • Sport: British Grand Prix 9-11 July Tickets from £38 from: www.silverstone.co.uk/events/ • Music: Sonisphere Festival 30th July - 1st August with Iron Maiden, Rammstein, Motley Crue, Alice Cooper, Iggy and the Stooges, Slayer, The Cult, Anthrax and more. Knebworth Park www.sonispherefestivals.com

Every Day: • Art: The Real Van Gogh: The Artist and his Letters Until 18 April. Correspondence with his brother Theo and friends Anton van Rappard and

Something to do every night of the week, Yay! Paul Gaugin, along with paintings and drawings. Tickets range from free for the under 7’s to £12. Royal Academy Of Arts, London, W1 0844 209 1919 www.royalacademy.org.uk • Art: Ronald Searle Until 4 July. An exhibition to celebrate Ronald Searle’s 90th birthday. Over 90 works by one of the 20th Century’s greatest cartoonists. The Cartoon Museum, 35 Little Russell Street, London, WC1A 2HH, 020 7580 8155 www.cartoonmuseum.org • Photography: Wildlife Photographer of the Year Until 11 April Natural History Museum, London www.nhm.ac.uk/wildphoto • Museum: East Surrey Museum Small local museum in Caterham. East Surrey Museum, 1 Stafford Road Caterham, CR3 6JG 01883 340 275 www.eastsurreymuseum.org

Every Monday: • Market: Surrey Street London’s oldest continuously running market since 1276, with fruit and veg, bits and pieces, meat and fish, hot food, all sorts. Monday - Saturday. Use it or lose it. Surrey Street, Croydon www.surreystreetmarket.com • Quiz: Green Dragon - NEW! Wendy’s marvellous pub quiz is BACK 8pm every Monday. Jackpot round! Green Dragon, High Street, Croydon • Sport: Roller Derby - NEW! St Georges Walk 6-8pm Ladies 18+ for skating. Ref's needed, can be male. For more info contact Dee on 07735 424823 or email

croydonrollerderby@live.co.uk • Gay: Camp Bingo Hosted by Miss Isla Blige. Starts 8pm with various prizes. Happy Hour Drinks when you buy your books until the first number is called. The Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road, Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104 www.birdinhand.uk.com • Club: Blue Monday Buy one hour of Pool and recieve one hour free of charge. Don’t worry if you are on a one-hour lunch break - we will give you a voucher to use another day. If you are not a member you can join at reception free of charge if you bring some ID along. More about free membership. Half price on all drinks Monday to Thursday 5pm to 7pm Fridays 5pm to 9pm Open Midday until 11pm Admission is free of charge Dress Code: No caps, sportswear, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers are permitted. Over 18s only - ID required. Loop Lounge, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ. 020 8760 7000 www.looplounge.co.uk • Club: Half Price Mondays 50% off all drinks (excluding champagne) from 7pm til midnight. With music from The Katie and Alex Show. Free entry before 10pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Every Tuesday: • Market: Surrey Street London’s oldest continuously running market since 1276, with fruit and veg, bits and pieces, meat and fish, hot food, all sorts. Use it or lose it. Monday Saturday. Surrey Street, Croydon www.surreystreetmarket.com • Music: Jazz Jam Session Every Tuesday Night at The Lord Napier Jazz Pub. All welcome. The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath. 020 8653 2286 • Quiz: The Horseshoe - NEW! Wendy’s marvellous pub quiz travels to Warlingham every Tuesday from 8pm. £1 entry, table snacks, cash and wine prizes and new jackpot round. The Horseshoe, Farleigh Road

what’s on Warlingham, Surrey CR6 01883 622 009 • Quiz: The Pembroke 8pm. 50p per person per round. Plus 2 for 1 on pizzas. The Pembroke, 12-16 Chipstead Valley Road, Coulsdon, CR5 2RA 020 8763 0800 • Quiz: The Builders Arms Fun general knowledge quiz. The Builders Arms, 65 Leslie Park Road, Croydon, CR0 6TP 020 8654 1803 • Club: BAR WARS These are the drinks you're looking for… Every Tuesday at Black Sheep, the drinks deals are a force to be reckoned with...£1 a pint of Carlsberg, Olde English, Tetley's & Gaymers Pear Cider, £1 house spirit and mixer, £1 shot of Sourz or Wild! FREE entry before 9pm! Doors 7pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: Freedom of Expression presents the best in acoustic music, comedy, poetry and magic - see daily what’s on for who’s playing when. From 8pm. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Fitness: Yoga Classes Every Tuesday from 7.30pm-9pm. £5 a class for 6 sessions. Beginners welcome. 140 Brighton Road, Purley. 0208 763 2629 • Dance: Belly Dancing Come and join the fun every Tuesday. Classes are for women only and suitable for all ages, sizes and levels of ability. Make sure you wear comfortable clothing and bring a scarf to tie around your hips to really get you in the mood! Open level - suitable for all 6pm7.15pm In depth class - suitable for experienced dancers only: 7.30pm8.45pm. £7 per class. Call Charlotte Desorgher on 01342 850423 The Green Room, Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG. Box Office: 020 8688 9291 www.fairfield.co.uk • Dance: Ceroc Learn to Ceroc every Tuesday in the

Something to do every night of the week, Yay! Arnhem Gallery. Ceroc is an exciting and stylish modern partner dance which can be performed to all types of music. It’s very easy to pick up, no special clothes are required and you don’t need to bring a partner as we make sure everyone mixes together. Beginners: 8pm; Intermediate: 9pm Freestyle: 9.30pm-11pm Membership £2, Admission £6 For further info tel: 020 8466 5030 or visit: www.cerockent.com Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG. Box Office: 020 8688 9291 www.fairfield.co.uk

Every Wednesday: • Market: Surrey Street London’s oldest continuously running market since 1276, with fruit and veg, bits and pieces, meat and fish, hot food, all sorts. Use it or lose it. Monday Saturday. Surrey Street, Croydon www.surreystreetmarket.com • Sport: Roller Derby - NEW! Monks Hill Sports Centre 6:45-8pm Ladies 18+ for skating. Ref's needed, can be male. For more info contact Dee on 07735 424823 or email croydonrollerderby@live.co.uk • Pool: The Oval Pool Competition Every Wednesday from 19.30 hrs. Balls and banter - a textbook night in the pub. £2 to enter, with cash prizes. The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR 020 8686 6023 www.ovaltavern.co.uk • Quiz: Mike K’s General Knowledge Quiz From 9.00pm Mike K’s general knowledge quiz, non-members welcome! Caterham Club, 10A, Croydon Road, Caterham CR36QB • Quiz: Foxley Hatch Every Wednesday from 8pm. £1 entry per person - winner takes all. Maximum 4 on a team. The Foxley Hatch, Purley • Event: Talent Night Talent Night Open Mic. Every Wednesday. £200 prize! The Whyteleafe Tavern, 208 Godstone Road, Whyteleafe, CR3 0EE www.whyteleafetavern.com 30

• Gay: Karaoke Every Wednesday. The Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road, Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104 www.birdinhand.uk.com • Club: King Of Clubs Loop Lounge Poker Night: It's the standard Texas Hold’em format that we all know and love. This night is open to all Loop Lounge members. To register an interest and book a place at our tables please visit our website. Open Midday until midnight Half price on all drinks: Monday to Thursday 5pm to 7pm, Fridays 5pm to 9pm Open Midday until 11pm. FREE entry. Dress: No caps, sportswear, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers are permitted. Over 18s only - ID required. Loop Lounge, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ. 020 8760 7000 www.looplounge.co.uk • Club: Discord NEW MUSIC EVERY WEDNESDAY Check daily what’s on for who’s playing this month. Doors 7pm, £5 entry.plus Cheap Sheep drinks deals till 9pm, plus £1 Tequila shots & £1 bottle of beer. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Dance: Dancercise Keep fit and meet new people at this fun and friendly beginners dance class. Come and join the fun every Wednesday. 7.30pm. £3.50. Central Court, Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street, Croydon www.croydonclocktower.org.uk • Dance: Swing Patrol swing dance classes, 7pm, £5. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub

Every Thursday: • Market: Surrey Street London’s oldest continuously running market since 1276, with fruit and veg, bits and pieces, meat and fish, hot food, all sorts. Use it or lose it. Monday Saturday. Surrey Street, Croydon www.surreystreetmarket.com • Tattoos: Walk-In Day No need to book in advance on a Thursday only at Sims, get there early!

what’s on 11am-6pm Sims Tattoos, 69 Windmill Road, Croydon, CR0 2XR, 020 8684 6967 • Quiz: Two Brewers From 9pm. Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road, Croydon, 020 8684 3544 • Quiz: Crown and Sceptre From 9pm. Crown and Sceptre, 32 Junction Road, South Croydon, 020 8688 8037 • Quiz: Purley Arms Every Thursday.. Purley Arms, 345 Brighton Road, South Croydon, 020 8686 3792 • Quiz: JF Big Quiz £1 per player, win prizes, league points, and maybe cash in our Open The Box game! New teams always welcome. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Club: ALT.X Rock / Metal / Alternative with DJ Tony X plus guests. Cheap Sheep drinks deals till 10pm, plus £1.50 shots of Jager all night! Free before 10pm, doors 7pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: Live Blues Live blues at The Oval - see daily what’s on for who’s playing when. Every Thursday and Sunday. Bands start 8pm Thursdays, 5.30pm Sundays. FREE entry! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR. 020 8686 6023 www.ovaltavern.co.uk • Music: Live Jazz Check daily what’s on for who’s playing when. 8.15pm to 11pm. FREE! The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286 • Dance: Clog Dancing Free taster sessions for newcomers to try out some lively N.W. English clog team dances - wear trainers or similar footwear. Musicians with portable acoustic instruments always welcome too. PLEASE CALL BEFORE HEADING OUT, as some Thursdays this night is not on. 8.30 pm. FREE! Call 020 8654 5211/020 8657 4056 (eves.) for details United Reformed Church Hall, corner Enmore/Cobden Road, S. Norwood • Dance: Morris Dancing North Wood Morris Men are teaching

Men's Morris to complete beginners on Thursday evenings at the Scout Hut in Purley Park Road at 8.15 pm and newcomers are welcome (first call 020 8668 1830) see www.northwoodmorris.org.uk • Dance: The South East London Lindy Hop Club Come and learn to dance Lindy Hop (Jitterbug) like they did in the 1940's. No partner required and Caron and Steve specialise in helping those with two left feet get together with those with two right. Doors open 7.30pm Beginners Class 7.45pm Intermediate Class 8.30pm Freestyle (practice) 9.15pm The Royston Club, 85 Royston Road Penge, London, SE20 7QW www.52ndstreetjump.co.uk • Club: House Addicts - NEW! Each week Hush Hush plan to bring a strong line up of residents and special guests. We already have support from Jonathan Ulysses (Ulybug /Space Ibiza) www.jonathanulysses.co.uk, Kids Of Funk (Perverted Audio) and more. There won’t be any cheese, just the finest in house music! It's just time to start the weekend and keep it hush hush! Special guest DJs plus residents DJ Lewi, DJ Billnick, Ollie Killick Hush Hush drinks offers Double vodka & red bull £1.50 Bottle of wine (white or rose) £5.00 House spirit and mixer / shot £1.50 Bottle of beer / wkd / Smirnoff Ice £1.75. All other drinks half price (except champagne). Admission: 9pm until 3am £6 / £3 NUS and guest list R.O.A.R. Smart/Casual Dress. Strictly Over 18 years of age only; photo ID is required “Keep Thursdays Hush Hush” Loop Lounge, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ. 020 8760 7000 www.looplounge.co.uk

Every Friday: • Market: Surrey Street London’s oldest continuously running market since 1276, with fruit and veg, bits and pieces, meat and fish, hot food, all sorts. Monday - Saturday. Surrey Street, Croydon www.surreystreetmarket.com • Music: DJs Every Friday Night The Folly, 13-15 Selsdon Road, 31

Croydon, 020 8688 3920 • Music: Live Music Alternating live bands and karaoke every Friday Night The Bedford Tavern, 16 Sydenham Road, Croydon, CR0 2EF, 020 8688 2584 • Karaoke: Wheelwright’s Arms From 8.30pm every Friday night. Wheelwright’s Arms, 126 Southbridge Road, Croydon, CR0 1AF • Music: Oval DJs The regular Oval faves, plus guests, keeping Fridays funky. The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR 020 8686 6023 www.ovaltavern.co.uk • Music: Live Music Every Friday night from 8pm. Plus 2 for 1 on Corona and Jacques. The Pembroke, 12-16 Chipstead Valley Road, Coulsdon, CR5 2RA 020 8763 0800 • Event: Wii Night Every Friday evening. The View, 188 selsdon Road, South Croydon, CR2 6PL, 020 8688 2315. • Music: Free Jukebox Fridays Pickachoon for nowt. The Red Deer, 279 Brighton Road, South Croydon, CR2 6EQ, 020 8688 5599. • Club: WTF? Four decades of Indie, Alternative, Electro and Punk hits with DJ Zoe Urchin. Cheap Sheep drinks deals till 9pm. Doors 7pm, free before 10pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: Starsound Gold DJ playing all styles of music. from 7pm The Swan and Sugarloaf, Brighton Road, South Croydon • Event: Whitechapel’s Trail of Terror A highly entertaining and informative tour round the East End hunting ground of Jack The Ripper with John ‘Creepy’ Chambers. CHECK THIS EVENT IS HAPPENING BEFORE HEADING OUT. www.myspace.com/ whitechapelstrailofterror 07507 391 706 • Photography: Camera Club

what’s on Camera Club meeting in West Croydon every Friday night welcomes visitors and new members. Full programme of events including print/slide talks, portrait evenings, competitions, etc. Ample parking. Contact Colin on 020 8665 1678. Visit www.thorntonheathcameraclub.co.uk

Every Saturday: • Market: Surrey Street London’s oldest continuously running market since 1276, with fruit and veg, bits and pieces, meat and fish, hot food, all sorts. Monday - Saturday. Surrey Street, Croydon www.surreystreetmarket.com • Market: Garden Market The Alma Garden Market hopes to create a vibrant bustling market place in the large private courtyard of The Alma pub in Crystal Palace. It runs every Saturday with over 20 stalls selling plants & flowers, beauty products & treatments, exotic oils, olive oils, capers, strawberries, chocolates, jewellery, hand made cards, rugs, leatherwear, knitwear, deli produce & a wide range of arts & crafts from local artists, plus hot food and collectables - and the Jerk Chicken man will be there! 10am - 4pm The Alma, 95 Church Road, Crystal Palace, London SE19 www.thealmapub.com • Music: Live Rock Bands Every Saturday Night Portmanor, Portland Road, South Norwood, SE25 4UF, 020 8655 1308 • Music: New Orleans Jazz Quality live jazz every Saturday Night. From 8.30pm. £6 entry includes free raffle. Blackheath Hockey Club, Rubens Street, Sydenham, SE6 4DH (behind

Old Rutland Pub) • Music: Various Live music every Saturday Night. The Surrey Cricketers, corner of Lower Coombe Street and West Street, Croydon. • Club: Linton Dance Bombs. Funk Rockets. BeatSeeking Missiles. Never Outgunned. Cheap Sheep drinks deals till 9pm. Doors 7pm, free before 10pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Club: Tiger Tiger Tiger and Raffles Bar: with Capital FM Des Paul and Chris Brooks playing out the best in commercial party and dance anthems.Groovy Wonderland: 70’s and 80’s floor fillers. Club: Commercial House. Admission free before 10pm, £7 after. Guestlist free before 11pm, £5 after. Dress code: Dress to Impress - No Sportswear. Tiger Tiger, 14-16 High Street, Croydon, CR0 1GT. 020 8662 4949. www.tigertiger-croydon.co.uk • Music: Various Live music most Saturday nights. The Good Companions, Hamsey Green, South Croydon. 020 8657 6655 • Gay: Party Night With guest DJs. The Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road, Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104 www.birdinhand.uk.com

Every Sunday: • Music: New Orleans Jazz Every Sunday 12.30 - 2.30pm at The Lord Napier Jazz Pub. Entry £2, dance floor, raffle, great atmosphere at one of the longest running Jazz Pubs in Great Britain The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath. 020 8653 2286

• Music: Live Jazz Lunchtime Jazz every Sunday from 1pm. See daily what’s on for who’s playing this month. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Live Blues Live blues at The Oval - see daily what’s on for who’s playing when. Every Thursday and Sunday. Bands start 8pm Thursdays, 5.30pm Sundays. FREE entry! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR 020 8686 6023 www.ovaltavern.co.uk • Quiz: The View Every Sunday evening. The View, 188 selsdon Road, South Croydon, CR2 6PL, 020 8688 2315. • Quiz: Wheelwright’s Arms From 8pm. Wheelwright’s Arms, 126 Southbridge Road, Croydon, CR0 1AF • Quiz: Two Brewers Fun general knowledge quiz. From 9pm. Two Brewers, 221 Gloucester Road, Croydon, 020 8684 3544 • Karaoke: The White Horse Every Sunday Night from 7pm. The White Horse, 1 Selhurst Road, Selhurst, South Norwood, 020 8240 0948 • Music: Open Mic Musicians (all instruments) welcome. With one of our 4 fantastic hosts: Dave Mac, Rob Cushman, Neil Mac and Steve Bright The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Road, Purley, CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Poker: The Alma Tavern From 6pm. The Alma Tavern, Lower Addiscombe Road, Addiscombe, East Croydon • Event: Whitechapel’s Trail of

What’s This? http://doiop.com/name Wherever you see a website address in our listings that has the prefix http://doiop.com (or has ‘bit.ly’ or ‘tinyurl’ in it) it means we’ve used an URL shortener to make it easier for you to visit sites (especially facebook event pages whose URLs are ridiculously long). The address given will still take you to the original site, be it facebook or wherever, it just makes it easier for you if you’re reading the mag and wish to type addresses into your browser to get more info etc. We know most of you know this, but some people have asked, so there you go. Thanks! 32

what’s on Terror A highly entertaining and informative tour round the East End hunting ground of Jack The Ripper with John ‘Creepy’ Chambers. CHECK THIS EVENT IS HAPPENING BEFORE HEADING OUT. www.myspace.com/ whitechapelstrailofterror 07507 391 706

Got something going on? Let us know e-mail: angela@deeplondon.co.uk

Thu 04 • Event: Fancy Dress Bonanza! Get tooled up for the Fancy dress Social event of the season! Come as your favorite film character and win a £20 bar tab to spend on all the booze you can. Entertainment for the night will be provided by the finest acts in Croydon at the moment. Opening is the astounding 'Dirty Scavenger' with her eclectic mix of grunge and acoustic joy, Followed by the Scene legends 'Ten Foot Nun' croydon's most crazy mentalist rock splurge band, Then ending the night are the Talented 'Tilt at windmills', offering thier unique brand of Jazz funk rock, With added Flute! ENTRY IS FREE. 8pm-midnight. The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon CR0 1QD. www.myspace.com/ theshipofcroydon • Music: Magic Brother Live music from Magic Sam, Joe and Rob Delta’s new band. 8pm. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Matt Percival & Al Richardson Those affable Greenwich mafioso boys are back with this great guitar & harmonica duo. Live Blues every Thursday and Sunday - bands start 8pm Thursdays, 5.30pm Sundays. FREE entry! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR. 020 8686 6023. www.ovaltavern.co.uk • Club: ALT. X Rock / Metal / Alternative with DJ Tony

X plus guests. Cheap Sheep drinks deals till 10pm, plus £1 shots of Jager all night! Free before 10pm, doors 7pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Gay: Quiz First Thursday of the month. The Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road, Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104 www.birdinhand.uk.com • Music: The New Delta Big Band From Ellington to Herman, big band jazz at its best! 8.15pm to 11pm. FREE! Every 1st and 3rd Thursday of the month. The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286

Fri 05 • Poetry: Poet’s Anonymous Friday Poetry at the Fairfield Hotel Bar, 1 Lansdowne Road, Croydon, Surrey CR9 2BN. – Please note this is a new venue. Floor spots. From 8pm. £2 waged, £1 unwaged. Contact Peter for further details; peter@poetsanon.org.uk, 020 8645 9956. The guest poet this evening is Sue Young. Sue Young's poetry is lyrical and enchanting, telling a clear story. Her poetry has matured to mix free verse with a closely guided underlying structure. Her obvious sensitivity helps make her a poet of some renown and we believe a woman who you will find worth coming to listen to. • Comedy: Jimmy Carr Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG, Booking line: 020 8688 9291 www.fairfield.co.uk • Comedy: Croydon Comedy Club Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG, Booking line: 020 8688 9291 www.fairfield.co.uk • Club: WTF! Four decades of Indie, alternative, electro and punk hits from DJ Zoe Urchin. Cheap Sheep drinks deals till 9pm. Doors 7pm, free entry before 10pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Club: Vintage Fly! Oliver Sudden presents VINTAGE FLY Club Night. £2. 8pm 33

Scream Lounge, 20 Southend, Croydon, CR0 1DN, www.myspace.com/screamstudios • Music: Jerry Dammers’ Spatial A.K.A Orchestra Brighton Dome booking line 01273 709709 • Music: DJ Sean The Ship, High Street, Croydon www.myspace.com/ theshipofcroydon. • Music: PAPA GEORGE BAND 9:30pm, The Blues Man is back with his distinctive sound, don’t miss it! The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Music: DJ BennyManyHats Indie, Classics, Reggae and Ska The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub

Sat 06 • Comedy: Boycie and Marlene Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG, Booking line: 020 8688 9291 www.fairfield.co.uk • Club: DJ Linton Dance bombs. Funk Rockets. Beatseeking missiles. Never outgunned. The biggest dancefloor monsters from DJ LINTON. Because it's war on the dancefloor. Cheap Sheep drinks deals till 9pm. Doors 7pm, free entry before 10pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: Emissions New! London Ivy presents Emissions (hip hop and dubstep) Djs from 7. upstairs The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Club: DJ Rob Delta 1st Saturday of the month. Funk, blues, soul and psychedelia. The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR 020 8686 6023 www.ovaltavern.co.uk • Club: Kinky Malinki Album Launch Party Kinky Malinki land at Loop once again and continue to offer their unrivalled attention to throwing the best parties in

what’s on the land and this month were launching our new album mixed by Kid Massive. New events come and go but Kinky Malinki have stood the test of time because of that attention to detail and because we attract the Kinkiest clubbers to our events. DJs: Grant Richards With support from.... James Murray, Lee Holt, Dave Lane, Mike Steps, Scott Kemp. For all info & advance ticket visit: www.kinkymalinki.com Loop Lounge, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CRO 1RZ. 9pm - 4am. £8 in advance, £10 on the door. Advance tickets call 020 8760 7000 • Music: Dirty DC 8pm, £8, Dirty DC The Uk's leading AC/DC tribute, back by popular demand! The Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN www.myspace.com/screamstudios 020 8099 4624, 020 8686 5788 lounge@screamstudios.co.uk • Music: DJ Night Acts tbc The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon CR0 1QD. Telephone: 0208 688 2810 Email: ship.croydon@marstons.co.uk www.shippub.co.uk www.myspace.com/ theshipofcroydon. • Music: TUFF DUO 9:30pm. Popular covers from across the decades for you to sing and dance along to. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Event: Barndance Homebrood play their blend of folk for set dancing. Come and enjoy an evening of traditional dancing. All dances are done with the aid of are caller who will talk you though the steps before and during the dance. No experience necessary as getting it wrong is half the fun. Tickets are £10 including Fish & Chip supper (£7 without). RSVP required at Facebook event page: http://doiop.com/barndance 19:00 - 23:00 at Oxted Community Hall, 53 Church Lane, Oxted, United Kingdom.

Sun 07 • Music: GEOFF MASON (Trom) &

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on DEREK NASH (Sax) QUINTET Live jazz every Sunday Lunchtime. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Big Joe Louis & His Blues Kings Some of the prime interpreters of classic down home and Chicago-style blues this side of the Atlantic; BJL and the lads are easily one of the best Brit Bands on the circuit. Live Blues every Thursday and Sunday bands start 8pm Thursdays, 5.30pm Sundays. FREE entry! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR. 020 8686 6023 www.ovaltavern.co.uk • Music: Acoustic Sunday with DON’T ASK, DIRTY SCAVENGER, MARK WOODS, OUTER AUDIO, NICK CAPALDI, plus a Hammered Dulcimer player!! FREE ENTRY. 7pm The Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN www.myspace.com/screamstudios 020 8099 4624, 020 8686 5788 lounge@screamstudios.co.uk • Music: The Sunday Service with DJ the Reverend Elmo. The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon CR0 1QD. Telephone: 0208 688 2810 Email: ship.croydon@marstons.co.uk www.shippub.co.uk www.myspace.com/ theshipofcroydon • Music: Ukelele Jam 7pm - close, upstairs. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub

Mon 08 • Comedy: Tim Vine Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG, Booking line: 020 8688 9291 www.fairfield.co.uk • Club: Half Price Mondays 50% off all drinks (excluding champagne) from 7pm til midnight. With music from The Katie and Alex Show. Free entry before 10pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Quiz: Green Dragon - NEW! Wendy’s marvellous pub quiz is BACK 34

8pm every Monday. Jackpot round! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub

Tue 09 • Club: Bar Wars These are the drinks you're looking for! Every Tuesday at Black Sheep, the drinks deals are a force to be reckoned with...£1 a pint of Carlsberg, Olde English, Tetley's & Gaymers Pear Cider, £1 house spirit and mixer, £1 shot of Sourz or Wild! FREE entry before 9pm! Doors 7pm.. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: Open Mic Every 2nd and 4th Tuesday of the month The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR 020 8686 6023 www.ovaltavern.co.uk • Music: Freedom Of Exprssion The very best in acoustic music, poetry, comedy and magic from around London and further afield with: Jay Foreman, MJ Hibbett, Simon Metheringham, Adrian Taylor. 8pm upstairs every Tuesday. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub

Wed 10 • Club: DJ Wolfenchild Playing rock, metal and evrything in between. From 9pm. The Intrepid Fox, 15 St. Giles High Street, London, WC2H 8LN, 020 7836 8956 www.intrepidfox.com • Music: Shameful Behaviour Live Music The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon CR0 1QD. Telephone: 0208 688 2810 Email: ship.croydon@marstons.co.uk www.shippub.co.uk www.myspace.com/ theshipofcroydon • Dance: Swing Dance Swing Dance classes upstairs, £5. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA

what’s on

Please mention Deep-London when visiting venues... www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Pool: Pool Competition New! Pool competition downstairs: win a £30 bar tab! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Club: Discord Live music every Wednesday. Act tbc. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar

Thu 11 • Music: Giles Hedley & Richard Sadler Rootsy polymath Giles delivers his usual delta-fed passion and grit; backed up by bass powerhouse Richard 'how many bands can one man be in' Sadler. Don't forget the nose thing either... Live Blues every Thursday and Sunday bands start 8pm Thursdays, 5.30pm Sundays. FREE entry! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR. 020 8686 6023 www.ovaltavern.co.uk • Music: Junk Time Party plus support. Live Music The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon CR0 1QD. Telephone: 0208 688 2810 Email: ship.croydon@marstons.co.uk www.shippub.co.uk www.myspace.com/ theshipofcroydon • Music: Heavy Thursdays at Scream Lounge with ENOCHIAN THEORY, ARCANE ROOTS (prog metal/alt rock). £3 (Includes free entry to the Black Sheep Bar). 8pm The Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN www.myspace.com/screamstudios 020 8099 4624, 020 8686 5788 lounge@screamstudios.co.uk • Music: The Brian Hetherington Jazz Band Listen or jive to the authentic rythyms of New Orleans. 8.30pm-11pm. FREE! Every 2nd and 4th Thursday of the month. The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286

• Club: ALT. X Rock / Metal / Alternative with DJ Tony X plus guests. Cheap Sheep drinks deals till 10pm, plus £1 shots of Jager all night! Free before 10pm, doors 7pm. Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233.

www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Event: Crufts All things doggie related from now until 14th March. NEC Birmingham. More details: www.crufts.org.uk.

Fri 12 • Music: DJ Sean The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon CR0 1QD. Telephone: 0208 688 2810 Email: ship.croydon@marstons.co.uk www.shippub.co.uk www.myspace.com/ theshipofcroydon • Music: DJ BennyManyHats Indie, Classics, Reggae and Ska. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Forty45 Live music at The Folly. 13-15 Selsdon Road South Croydon CR2 6PW 020 8688 3920 • Music: THE MONIKERS 9:30pm. Lively contemporary Rock/Pop covers, 90s and 00s.. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Club: Alicious Underground house music with DJ/producer Arkoss. After a 5 month break, Alicious return to a bigger and better venue, for another night full of sexy underground house music. This time they bring you Funkinyou Records main man, DJ, producer Arkoss. Alicious bring you bang up to date with the best house music in town and to help you move those dancing feet. We install a FUNKTION-ONE sound system. Half price drinks until 11pm There's half price drinks untial 11pm, a laser and light show, smoke machines, free CD giveaways, VIP chill-out area and much more. DJs Arkoss, DJ Jubzy, Jamie Mann, DJ Chyna Admission: 9pm until 4am Entry £5 before 11pm / more after 11pm Dress Code: No caps, sportswear, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers are permitted. Over 18s only - ID required. Loop Lounge, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ. 020 8760 7000 35

www.looplounge.co.uk

Sat 13 • Poetry: Poet’s Anonymous Saturday Poetry in the Primary Room, United Reformed Church, Addiscombe Grove, Croydon, Surrey. 2.30-4.00pm. £2.00. Bring your poetry to read and share. Contact Peter for further details; peter@poetsanon.org.uk, 020 8645 9956 The guest poet this afternoon is Joel Arnstein. Joel is a poet and painter, he has travelled widely and his is permeated by his experiences in Nigeria, Cambodia and Switzerland as well as in England. Joel's poetry covers the territory of the joys of beauty and love, to the struggles of life and death, but always illuminated with humour. • Music: DJ Night Acts tbc The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon CR0 1QD. Telephone: 0208 688 2810 Email: ship.croydon@marstons.co.uk www.shippub.co.uk www.myspace.com/ theshipofcroydon • Music: DJ Rob Delta Funk, Soul and Psychadelia. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: All Ages Metal Night with Silent Disguise, Inner Eden, Chasing The Armarda, In The Long Run, Deprevate. £5. 7pm. Downstairs. The Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN www.myspace.com/screamstudios 020 8099 4624, 020 8686 5788 lounge@screamstudios.co.uk • Music: Surviving Silence + Teddy Bears Picnic £tbc. 8pm. Upstairs. The Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN www.myspace.com/screamstudios 020 8099 4624, 020 8686 5788 lounge@screamstudios.co.uk • Club: Back To The Old Skool with Ratpack and live performance from Baby D "Let Me Be Your Fantasy" The ‘Kings of Rave’ spin the old skool tunes along with MC Evenson on the mic, while Baby D performs her biggest hits including ‘Let Me Be Your Fantasy’ and ‘I Need Your Loving’. So put on your ravin’ shoes and get down to

what’s on

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on... Loop; this event is gonna be big! DJs Ratpack (Live), Baby D – LIVE, Theo B, Pete Regan Admission: 9pm until 4am Advance Tickets £8 For tickets call 07983 837 764 or buy direct from Loop Lounge Dress Code: No caps, sportswear, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers are permitted. Over 18s only - ID required. Loop Lounge, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ. 020 8760 7000 www.looplounge.co.uk • Music: MARK BISHOP 9:30pm. Popular covers and original songs by this well liked local artist. Tonight we celebrate the launch of his first ever CD – be here! The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk

Sun 14 • Event: MOTHERS’ DAY Get down to STUFF Croydon, support local entrepreneurs and buy your mum something less boring instead. It’s open Mon-Sat from 10-6 and Sundays from 11am to 5pm. www.stuffcroydon.co.uk • Event: Green Dragon “Don't forget to be lovely to your mummy! 15% discount for all mummies at the Dragon today” The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: GEOFF MASON (Trom) & DEREK NASH (Sax) QUINTET Renowned drummer - Featuring exciting Tenor player DAVE BLACK. Live jazz every Sunday Lunchtime. Upstairs. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: 24 Pesos 24 Pesos reckon they "twist the traditional blues form, blending the raw energy of the Meters with the sophisticated feel and harmony of John Scofield, John Mayer and Ray Charles". Well: we're up for that. Live Blues every Thursday and Sunday bands start 8pm Thursdays, 5.30pm Sundays. FREE entry! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR. 020 8686 6023 www.ovaltavern.co.uk • Music: The Sunday Service with DJ the Reverend Elmo.

The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon CR0 1QD. Telephone: 0208 688 2810 Email: ship.croydon@marstons.co.uk www.shippub.co.uk www.myspace.com/ theshipofcroydon

Mon 15 • Quiz: Green Dragon Wendy’s marvellous pub quiz is BACK 8pm every Monday. Jackpot round! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Community Choir all welcome, 6-8pm. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub

Tue 16 • Sport: Cheltenham Festival National Hunt Horse Racing Festival. Champion Hurdle Day (Deep picks: Celestial Halo, Voler La Vedette). “Catch full coverage of the Cheltenham Festival, live on satellite at the Fox and Hounds, opposite West Croydon train stn, The Broad Green Tavern, 296 London Rd plus The Norbury, 1300 London Road with free evening snacks from 5pm.” Also live on Channel 4, but where’s the fun watching it at home? www.cheltenham.co.uk • Music: Freedom Of Exprssion The very best in acoustic music, poetry, comedy and magic from around London and further afield with: Jeremy Ayre, Amelia Tucker and open mic. 8pm upstairs every Tuesday. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub

Wed 17 • Event: St Patrick’s Day Have a good craic! • Event: St Guinness Day! Live music early evening from Homebrood, plus shennanigans from various Djs, lovely Irish food and deals on Jameson's, Magner's and, of course, The Black Stuff! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub 36

• Sport: Cheltenham Festival National Hunt Horse Racing Festival. Champion Chase Day (Deep picks: Twist Magic, Tranquil Sea). Scream Lounge will be showing the whole festival in the bar - 20 South End, Croydon. Also live on Channel 4, but where’s the fun watching it at home? www.cheltenham.co.uk • Dance: Swing Dance Swing Dance classes upstairs, £5. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Pool: Pool Competition New! Pool competition downstairs: win a £30 bar tab! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Dirty Kneez Live music. The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon CR0 1QD. Telephone: 0208 688 2810 Email: ship.croydon@marstons.co.uk www.shippub.co.uk www.myspace.com/ theshipofcroydon • Music: ST PATRICK’S PARTY 9pm. Featuring ‘THE CAFFREYS’ – Irish themed and popular music with Neil Mac, Rob Cushman, Ian, and guest musicians. A great night guaranteed. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Gay: London Lesbian and Gay Film Festival Various venues. More info from: www.llgff.org.uk.

Thu 18 • Sport: Cheltenham Festival National Hunt Horse Racing Festival. Thursday is Ladies day - the perfect excuse to dress up and have a great day out. The fashion awards will see one lucky Lady drive away in a brand new Alfa Romeo Mito, we'll also celebrate the huge role that women play in Jump racing, there is a fabulous new Charity race for Lady riders which will see in excess of £60,000 being raised for Cancer Reserach UK and there are also six top class Jump races. The Ladbrokes World Hurdle takes centre stage, with Big Buck's a hot favourite to defend the crown he won so well in 2009. (We don’t do favourites - deep picks:

what’s on

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on... Mourad, Time For Rupert, Katchit) Live on Channel 4, but where’s the fun watching it at home? www.cheltenham.co.uk • Music: King David & His Trio Royale With a whiff of the West Coast, a dash of Diddley and a hint of Hawaii, King David delivers his inimitable own brand of groovy twangin' electric blues. Live Blues every Thursday and Sunday bands start 8pm Thursdays, 5.30pm Sundays. FREE entry! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR. 020 8686 6023 www.ovaltavern.co.uk • Music: KICK Live music. The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon CR0 1QD. Telephone: 0208 688 2810 Email: ship.croydon@marstons.co.uk www.shippub.co.uk www.myspace.com/ theshipofcroydon • Music: The New Delta Big Band From Ellington to Herman, big band jazz at its best! 8.15pm to 11pm. FREE! Every 1st and 3rd Thursday of the month. The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286

Fri 19 • Event: Sport Relief 19th-21st March. More info from: www.bbc.co.uk/sportrelief • Sport: Cheltenham Festival National Hunt Horse Racing Festival. The biggest day in the racing calendar and one of the best moments of the sporting year. All eyes are on stablemates Denman and Kauto Star as they square up for their third totesport Cheltenham Gold Cup clash, with the score standing at 1-1. Can Kauto Star join the Cheltenham legends Golden Miller, Arkle and Best Mate and become a three-time Cheltenham Gold Cup winner or will Denman add victory in 2010 to his 2008 triumph? Kauto Star currently 8/11 and Denman 7/2 where’s the value there? Deep pick: Imperial Commander. Live on Channel 4, but where’s the fun watching it at home? www.cheltenham.co.uk • Club: Discord - Live Music Every Wednesday Act tbc Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0.

020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Music: DJ Sean The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon CR0 1QD. Telephone: 0208 688 2810 Email: ship.croydon@marstons.co.uk www.shippub.co.uk www.myspace.com/ theshipofcroydon • Music: Never Mind The Bongos Live music at The Folly. 13-15 Selsdon Road South Croydon CR2 6PW 020 8688 3920 • Club: Old Skool Garage Classics Half price drinks all night. Entry only £1 We continue our in-house third Friday of the month Old Skool Garage event as we bring in some of London’s finest DJs playing a selection of all the classic’s from the late 90’s. We also offer entry at just £1 and half price drinks all night! Admission: 10pm until 3am £1 entry all night. Dress Code: No caps, sportswear, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers are permitted. Over 18s only - ID required. Loop Lounge, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ. 020 8760 7000 www.looplounge.co.uk • Music: DJ BennyManyHats Indie, Classics, Reggae and Ska The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Bad Influence 9:30pm. Back so soon by popular demand, you’ll love their Rock/Blues blend of killer covers and original songs. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Music: THE ROCKET DOLLS + CODEJAK + AGAINST THE FLOOD Frantic Promotions present THE ROCKET DOLLS, CODEJAK, AGAINST THE FLOOD. £4. 8pm The Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN www.myspace.com/screamstudios 020 8099 4624, 020 8686 5788 lounge@screamstudios.co.uk • Comedy: Croydon Comedy Club Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG, Booking line: 020 8688 9291 www.fairfield.co.uk 37

Sat 20 • Nature: Spring Equinox • Music: DJ Rob Delta Funk, Soul and Psychedelia The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: DJ Night Acts tbc. The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon CR0 1QD. Telephone: 0208 688 2810 Email: ship.croydon@marstons.co.uk www.shippub.co.uk www.myspace.com/ theshipofcroydon • Music: BRIGHTWHITE 9:30pm. Steve and Sacha are back to rock the Farmers again with their fantastic blend of Rock/Pop covers. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk

Sun 21 • Event: Spring Craft and Gift Fair Stalls selling crafts, gifts and seasonal treats. With craft demonstrations and entertainment for the whole family. refreshments available all day. To book a stall or for more info contact Ele Evans on 0208 603 3803. 10am-4pm. FREE entry! Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon. www.fairfield.co.uk • Music: Gentleman Tim & the Contenders Welcome back to long-time-no-see Tim Corbett, Peel, Paulett and Davis as they bring their West coast swing and Chicago blues back to base. Live Blues every Thursday and Sunday bands start 8pm Thursdays, 5.30pm Sundays. FREE entry! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR. 020 8686 6023 www.ovaltavern.co.uk • Music: The Sunday Service with DJ the Reverend Elmo. The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon CR0 1QD. Telephone: 0208 688 2810 Email: ship.croydon@marstons.co.uk www.shippub.co.uk www.myspace.com/ theshipofcroydon • Music: RENATO D'AIELLO

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on... Quartet Live jazz every Sunday Lunchtime. Upstairs. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Ukelele Jam 7pm- close, upstairs. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Acoustically Speaking Eclectic Arts Network present ACOUSTICALLY SPEAKING. A night of music, spoken word, arts and poetry. £5. 6pm The Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN www.myspace.com/screamstudios 020 8099 4624, 020 8686 5788 lounge@screamstudios.co.uk

Mon 22 • Quiz: Green Dragon Wendy’s marvellous pub quiz is BACK 8pm every Monday. Jackpot round! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Community Choir all welcome, 6-8pm. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub

Tue 23 • Music: Open Mic Every 2nd and 4th Tuesday of the month. The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR 020 8686 6023 www.ovaltavern.co.uk • Music: Freedom Of Exprssion The very best in acoustic music, poetry, comedy and magic from around London and further afield with: Elliott Hall, Papaphone, Anne-Marie Sanderson, Weird Sleeping Kittens. 8pm upstairs every Tuesday. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub

Wed 24 • CHARITY: Junktime Party, Cassettes + 1 (tbc) Charity Night in aid of Victim Support Live music from Junktime Party, Cassettes + another (final line-up to be confirmed)

The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon CR0 1QD. Telephone: 0208 688 2810 Email: ship.croydon@marstons.co.uk www.shippub.co.uk www.myspace.com/ theshipofcroydon • Dance: Swing Dance Swing Dance classes upstairs, £5. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Pool: Pool Competition New! Pool competition downstairs: win a £30 bar tab! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub

Thu 25 • Music: Obviously 5 Believers Electric and acoustic rock, country and blues from 'Wild Bill' and the lads. Live Blues every Thursday and Sunday bands start 8pm Thursdays, 5.30pm Sundays. FREE entry! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR. 020 8686 6023 www.ovaltavern.co.uk • Music: The Kick Live music The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon CR0 1QD. Telephone: 0208 688 2810 Email: ship.croydon@marstons.co.uk www.shippub.co.uk www.myspace.com/ theshipofcroydon • Music: Heavy Thursdays with CLARITY (Hardcore/metal) + Come Out Firing. £3 (includes free entry to the Black Sheep Bar). 8pm. The Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN www.myspace.com/screamstudios 020 8099 4624, 020 8686 5788 lounge@screamstudios.co.uk • Music: The Brian Hetherington Jazz Band Listen or jive to the authentic rythyms of New Orleans. 8.30pm-11pm. FREE! Every 2nd and 4th Thursday of the month. The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286

Fri 26 • Event: Spring Beer Festival The Green Dragon continues with our tradition of mammoth Beer Festivals celebrating more than 30 ales and 38

what’s on ciders over two weeks from today!! Plenty of events and nonsense to keep you entertained as you sip, slurp and quaff.... The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Club: IGNITE 5 Music Arts Ambassadors presents... IGNiTE 5... 80s PARTY!!!! HEADLINE ACT : THE THIRST They have toured with Babyshambles, the Sex Pistols and the Rolling Stones!! Check em out: www.myspace.com/thethirstrockband DJ: GOLDIELOCKS www.myspace.com/goldielocksmusic Chiptune set from: Million www.myspace.com/iammillion Support Acts: Olivia Faye www.myspace.com/oliviasebastianelli [UnKnown] www.myspace.com/unknownband01 £5 for IGNiTE Music or £7 if you also want to attend IGNiTE Theatre on March 25th. Tickets only available in advance from; TIME BOMB Croydon Clocktower ticket office or www.wegottickets.com Croydon Clocktower, Katharine Street, Croydon • Music: DJ Sean The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon CR0 1QD. Telephone: 0208 688 2810 Email: ship.croydon@marstons.co.uk www.shippub.co.uk www.myspace.com/ theshipofcroydon • Music: DJ BennyManyHats Indie, Classics, Reggae and Ska The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Club: Re-ReWind Mikee B with The Dreem Teem's old skool garage classics. This month ReRewind return to Loop Lounge to bring you another big headliner, Mikee B. Joining Mikee are our usual resident DJs playing all of your favourite old skool garage classics, so don’t expect any grime or bassline. If it’s a ‘no attitude’ night you are looking for then make sure you get down to Loop Lounge. DJs Mikee B (The Dreem Teem), Brad Hepburn, DJ Kure, Stan Da Man Admission: 9pm until 3am £5 before midnight, more after.Dress Code: No caps, sportswear, or hooded

what’s on

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on... tops. Jeans and trainers are permitted. Over 18s only - ID required. Loop Lounge, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ. 020 8760 7000 www.looplounge.co.uk • Music: INSIDE EDGE 9:30pm. We welcome back this talented covers band, playing something for everyone to enjoy. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Music: Chamelion Live music at The Folly. 13-15 Selsdon Road South Croydon CR2 6PW 020 8688 3920

Sat 27 • Event: CLOCKS Don’t forget the clocks go forward at 1.00 AM on Sunday! • Event: Spring Beer Festival See Fri 26th. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Djs Freeqboi and Cherrybomb Rock, metal, and some surprises. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Club: DJ BennyManyHats 4th Saturday of the month. Playing the way only Benny can.. The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR 020 8686 6023 www.ovaltavern.co.uk • Music: Boot Led Zeppelin Festival In 1975 Led Zeppelin were arguably the biggest selling band in the world. After their biggest grossing tour of America at the start of the year and the release of "Physical Graffiti", the band decided to play for 3 nights at Earls Court in London. Tickets sold out in record time and another 2 dates were quickly added. The band flew their immense lighting and sound rig over from the U.S. for what was to become their most legendary series of concerts in the U.K. playing on most nights for over 3 hours. And so, 35 years on Boot Led Zeppelin are planning to recreate those legendary concerts with all of the songs and onstage effects. This event is a definite "Do Not Miss" for anyone who is a Led

Zeppelin fan from one of the finest bands in the country. Tickets available from: www.o2shepherdsbushempire.co.uk 7pm-11pm. £20. O2 Shepherd's Bush Empire, Shepherd's Bush Green, London, United Kingdom • Music: DJ Night Act tbc The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon CR0 1QD. Telephone: 0208 688 2810 Email: ship.croydon@marstons.co.uk www.shippub.co.uk www.myspace.com/ theshipofcroydon • Club: Me and Mandy DJs Raymundo Rodriguez, Tommy Mac, Si Gern, Mr Flee B2B Sonny Taylor, Jordan Brown, Brendon Parry, David O’Leary. Admission: 9pm until 4am. £10 entry. Dress Code: No caps, sportswear, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers are permitted. Over 18s only ID required. Loop Lounge, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ. 020 8760 7000 www.looplounge.co.uk • Music: DEE FREER 9:45pm. The Voice returns for a night of Pop/R’n’B covers. This lady has a great future ahead of her, you saw her here first! The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Sport: Head Of The River Race A boat race on the river Thames in London for "eights", which each have eight people who row and one person (the "cox") who directs the boat. There are several hundred boats competing, setting off at 10-second intervals (the strongest teams row first) Expected to start at 1:15pm and end at about 2:30pm; the fastest boats can complete the 4.25 mile (7 kilometre) course in about 20 minutes. The race starts at Chiswick Bridge and ends at Putney Bridge. You can watch it from any accessible point along the river, but the best views are probably on the east bank of the Thames (the side which is in Surrey) just north of Chiswick Bridge (near the railway station Mortlake). Poor weather or strong tides may stop the race, so check before on the website: www.horr.co.uk.

Sun 28 • Event: British Summertime 39

Begins! Don’t forget the clocks went forward at 1.00 AM this morning - if you didn’t notice and were supposed to be somewhere at 11, you’re an hour late... • Event: Spring Beer Festival See Fri 26th. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: BRANDON ALLEN & QUENTIN COLLINS Trumpet QUARTET Sax Live jazz every Sunday Lunchtime. Upstairs. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Event: King’s Cross Record Fair For all you Beano’s mourners and muppets - they sell records HERE! Doors open at 1pm and stay open til about 6pm. Free entry! Stalls selling punk, ska, glam, new-wave, soul, power-pop, reggae, garage, post-punk, psych, metal, 50s, 60s, 70s and more! There's the Hangover Lounge downstairs to hang out and drink, eat, listen to records. Kids allowed downstairs too! (til 7pm anyway). Any questions email: delia@thelexington.co.uk The Lexington, 96-98 Pentonville Road, N1 9JB • Music: Oo-Bop-Sh’Bam Swinging Boogie Woogie and rhythm and blues from Jackson Sloan and one of the biggest line-ups ever seen here. Live Blues every Thursday and Sunday bands start 8pm Thursdays, 5.30pm Sundays. FREE entry! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR. 020 8686 6023 www.ovaltavern.co.uk • Music: The Sunday Service with DJ the Reverend Elmo. The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon CR0 1QD. Telephone: 0208 688 2810 Email: ship.croydon@marstons.co.uk www.shippub.co.uk www.myspace.com/ theshipofcroydon

Mon 29 • Event: National Cask Ale Week 29th March - 5th April www.caskaleweek.co.uk • Event: Spring Beer Festival See Fri 26th. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on... www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Theatre: Rosie Thorn - Butter Wouldn’t Melt The dark and twisted tale of ‘Rosie Thorn, Butter Would Not Melt’ is the debut one-woman show written and performed by Eleanor Appleton. Eleanor has been developing the character of Rosie Thorn for some years, Rosie has appeared as a cabaret compere on the London cabaret circuit and as part of the 2006 production ‘The Powder Room’ that featured at Edinburgh Fringe Festival. This however is the first play that follows Rosie’s sadistic antics from start to finish. Audiences will experience Rosie Thorn’s sinister journey as she invites you to be a part of her carefully executed plans in the intimate milieu of the Scream Lounge in South Croydon, which has a tiny capacity of 40. So! step into the world of summer frocks, Victoria Sponge Cakes, Garden Parties and……….bodies in the deep freeze. Tickets only £5 and a free cake for each audience member made by Rosie’s own fair hand. Show runs from Monday 29th – Wednesday 31st March. For more information contact Eleanor Appleton - 07916 270 847 eleanor@eleanorappleton.co.uk. The Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN www.myspace.com/screamstudios 020 8099 4624, 020 8686 5788 lounge@screamstudios.co.uk • Quiz: Green Dragon Wendy’s marvellous pub quiz is BACK 8pm every Monday. Jackpot round! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Community Choir all welcome, 6-8pm. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub

Tue 30 • Event: Spring Beer Festival See Fri 26th. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Freedom Of Expression The very best in acoustic music, poetry, comedy and magic from around London and further afield with: Matt Collins, Mississippi MacDonald and open mic.

8pm upstairs every Tuesday. FREE! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Papa George Live blues. From 8pm. All welcome. The Royal Standard, 1 Sheldon Street Croydon CR0 1SS, 020 8688 9749 For more upcoming events, find us on facebook! • Theatre: Rosie Thorn - Butter Wouldn’t Melt See Monday 29th. The Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN www.myspace.com/screamstudios 020 8099 4624, 020 8686 5788 lounge@screamstudios.co.uk • CHARITY: Channel 4 Comedy Gala Michael MacIntyre, Lee Evans, Bill Bailey, Rob Brydon, Jack Dee, David Mitchell, Alan Carr, Jack Whitehall, Jo Brand, John Bishop, Jonathon Ross, Kevin Bridges, Mark Watson, Noel Fielding, Omid Djalili, Rich Hall, Ruth Jones, Sean Lock, Shappi Khorsandi, Fonejacker and many more perform in the O2 Arena aid of Great Ormond Street Children’s Hospital. Starts at 6.30pm. Tickets £55 including booking fee. Available from: www.theo2.co.uk More info from: www.channel4.com/comedygala

Wed 31 • Music: Kelly & The Blowups + support. Live music. The Ship, 47 High Street, Croydon CR0 1QD. Telephone: 0208 688 2810 Email: ship.croydon@marstons.co.uk www.shippub.co.uk www.myspace.com/ theshipofcroydon • Event: Spring Beer Festival See Fri 26th. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Dance: Swing Dance Swing Dance classes upstairs, £5. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Pool: Pool Competition New! Pool competition downstairs: win a £30 bar tab! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: SOMETHING BORROWED 40

what’s on 9pm. This amazingly talented covers duo are relatively new to the JF, but trust us, they’re well worth a listen, you won’t want to go home! The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Theatre: Rosie Thorn - Butter Wouldn’t Melt See Monday 29th. The Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN www.myspace.com/screamstudios 020 8099 4624, 020 8686 5788 lounge@screamstudios.co.uk

Thursday 01 April • Event: April Fools’ Day It’s all a big laugh ‘til someone has an eye out. • Event: Spring Beer Festival See Fri 26th. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Live Blues Act tbc. Check the website. Live Blues every Thursday and Sunday bands start 8pm Thursdays, 5.30pm Sundays. FREE entry! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR. 020 8686 6023 www.ovaltavern.co.uk • Club: Rave To Save With house music pioneer DJ Rocky (XPress 2) Not only will “Rave to Save” showcase the talents of living legend and house music pioneer DJ Rocky (XPress 2), supported by some of London’s finest DJs for your raving pleasure. All the money raised will go to the Prostate Cancer Charity. DJs Rocky (X-Press 2), Mouj, Tommy Mac, Si Gern Ceri Cross, Brad Hepburn, Charlie Houston, Brendan Parry, Jamie Mann Admission: 9pm until 4am Advance Tickets £5, more on the door Loop Lounge, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CRO 1RZ. • Gay: Quiz First Thursday of the month. The Bird In Hand, 291 Sydenham Road, Croydon, CR0 2EL. 020 8683 3104 www.birdinhand.uk.com • Music: The New Delta Big Band From Ellington to Herman, big band jazz at its best! 8.15pm to 11pm. FREE! Every 1st and 3rd Thursday of the month. The Lord Napier, 111 Beulah Road, Thornton Heath CR7. 020 8653 2286

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on... • Club: Slaughterhouse Fetish Ball - THE ABYSS The return of The Black Sheep Bar's legendary Slaughterhouse Fetish Ball.... explore the dark and mysterious pleasures of the deep sea in an erotic oceanic dreamworld... Dress code strictly fetishwear or nautical / deep sea / steampunk (I shall wear my snorkel Ed). Doors 8pm, £4 entry before 10pm, £6 after. CHEAP SHEEP drinks deals 8-9 plus £1 Jager shots all night Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Club: Danny Rampling & Joey Negro 11pm-sunrise. £20.00 plus booking fee (only 400 tickets so get in quick!). Contact AZURE2603@LIVE.CO.UK Paramount Members Club, 31st Floor, CentrePoint Tower, 103 New Oxford Street, London, WC1 A1DD • Club: Get Loaded In The Dark GET LOADED IN THE DARK MAIN ARENA: BLACK GRAPE [LIVE] FEAT SHAUN RYDER - [FIRST BLACK GRAPE GIG SINCE 1997!], THE SUNSHINE UNDERGROUND [LIVE], YOUNG FATHERS [LIVE], GRUM, JACKWOB CROOKED ARENA: TERRY HOLLIGAN (ATOMIC HOOLIGAN), JURASSIK (SOUND OF HABIB), REVEAL, THE REAL TONY MONTANA, HONEYCOMBE, MILENA, FERGUS BLAIR. BOOTLEG SOCIAL ARENA: LAURA ESSENCE & DAVE COLEMAN, GARTH HILL, SAMINA, E FAS, SAM STEVENS, MIKE CHADWICK & DJ BAPPA, CAPE TOWN HOUSE MAFIA, LOADS MORE ACTS TO BE ANNOUNCED! THE CORONET, 26 – 28 NEW KENT ROAD, ELEPHANT & CASTLE, LONDON www.getloadedinthedark.com 10.00pm – 6am Last remaining Saver tickets on sale now: £15 + Booking Fee Standard tickets: £20 + Booking Fee Tickets available from: www.ticketweb.co.uk / 08444 771000

Fri 02 • Event: Good Friday Bank Holiday! • Event: Spring Beer Festival See Fri 26th. The Green Dragon,

58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • CHARITY: Monty Python Fancy Dress Do £2 in; theme: Monty Python!! (proceeds to Mayday's childrens' wards, we're raising money for them all Easter) The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Club: House Addicts Half price drinks all night. Introducing the newest and freshest night to come to Croydon - House Addicts! Friday nights will never be the same again as House Addict injects new life into them. On the first Friday of every month we bring you the brightest DJ talent around, playing all things house. As if that wasn’t enough, we slash all drinks prices in half all night. So if you are a bit of a house junkie and need your fix, then get down to Loop Lounge on the first Friday of every month. Once you’ve been, you too will be a house addict! DJs James Murray, George Turner, Ollie Killick Admission: 9pm until 4am Entry £3 before 11pm / £5 after 11pm Dress Code: No caps, sportswear, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers are permitted. Over 18s only - ID required. Loop Lounge, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ. 020 8760 7000 www.looplounge.co.uk • Music: THE VERSIONS 9:30pm. Modern Rock/Pop/Indie covers band, these guys will knock your socks off! The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Music: Between The Screams + Among The Wolves + Elmbridge Court + A Day After Tomorrow + We Lie Beneath £5. 7pm. The Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN www.myspace.com/screamstudios 020 8099 4624, 020 8686 5788 lounge@screamstudios.co.uk • Comedy: Croydon Comedy Club Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon, CR9 1DG, Booking line: 020 8688 9291 www.fairfield.co.uk

Sat 03 • Event: Spring Beer Festival 41

what’s on See Fri 26th. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Event: Easter Egg Hunt 50 'eggs' hidden around the pub... each one corresponding to a prize... or a forfeit! The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Festival: Easter Screamfest 2 days of non-stop music! All the best from Croydon and beyond!! Acts confirmed so far include... The Tunics, Solid State, K*nt & The Gang, The 23 Enigma, Moyz 2 Hen, Bad Sign, David Goo & his Variety Band, Tilt At Windmills, Kitty Hudson, Ten Foot Nun, Inner Eden, KB Fusionnaires, Wonk Unit, Duplex Gage, Tyrannosaurus Alan, Outer Audio, Elephant Vs Leopard, Dirty Scavenger, The Traitors, Gimnastic, Junk Time Party, Banned Sauce, Faith n Fury, The Horny Skulls, Vienna Knights, Alt Track. Full running order info and more bands to be announced soon!! Keep an eye on facebook event page: http://doiop.com/screamfest Easter Bank Holiday Weekend Saturday April 3rd from 1pm late Sunday April 4th from 1pm til late Only £2 entry per day. The Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN www.myspace.com/screamstudios 020 8099 4624, 020 8686 5788 lounge@screamstudios.co.uk • Music: THE BLUESICIANS 9:30pm. Performing superb Blues, from the well known to the less so, very enjoyable covers band. The Jolly Farmers, 7 Purley Rd, Purley Surrey CR8 2HA, 020 8660 2076 www.jollyfarmers-purley.co.uk • Club: 13th Floor Club 13th Floor is back on Saturday, April 3rd, with guest dj Pog! We'll be spinning the usual insalata mista of fuzz, psych, pop and beat from the 60s. It runs from 9 til 2 and is FREE before 10, then a fiver. All the schtuff here: www.13thfloorclub.com See you then! The Albany, 240 Great Portland St, (next to Great Portland St. tube), London. • Music/Event: Star Wars In Concert A feast for Star Wars fans as Anthony Daniels narrates a performance of John

Don’t forget to check out the weekly what’s on... Williams’ music, plus an exhibition of production artwork, Jedi costumes and props. Tickets £30 - £95 www.starwarsinconcert.com www.gigsandtours.com 0871 220 0260. • Event: The Boat Race The race starts at Putney Bridge (near Putney Bridge underground), and ends after a distance of 4.25 miles (7 kilometres) just north of Chiswick Bridge (near the railway station Mortlake). This year’s start time is 4.30pm. Before the main event is a similar race between the second teams. For more details about the event, see: www.theboatrace.org. Watch live on the BBC.

Sun 04 • Event: Easter Sunday Have a chocolate egg... • Festival: Easter Screamfest See Saturday 03 April. • Music: Live Blues Act tbc. Check the website. Live Blues every Thursday and Sunday bands start 8pm Thursdays, 5.30pm Sundays. FREE entry! The Oval Tavern, 131 Oval Road, Croydon, CR0 6BR. 020 8686 6023 www.ovaltavern.co.uk • Event: Spring Beer Festival See Fri 26th. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Live Jazz Upstairs - FREE - 1-3pm The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Ukelele Jam Upstairs - 7pm-close. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • CHARITY: Open Decks Bung us a fiver for charity (proceeds to Mayday's childrens' ward) and you can have the decks for an hour to wow us with your Dj-ing prowess... 6pm-close. Downstairs. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Club: Easter Bank Holiday CROYDUB South London's biggest Dubstep night returns to the Sheep. This month: LOEFAH Vs. HEADHUNTER, HATCHA, NTYPE Vs. CHEF, DISTANCE Vs.

QUEST, CYRUS Vs. TUNNIDGE, LD Vs. D1, RAMADANMAN, BOOM NOISE, Mic Men: SGT POKES, CRAZY D and ASBO. Doors 8pm - Late. £10 entry Black Sheep Bar, 68 High St, CR0. 020 8680 2233. www.blacksheepbar.com www.myspace.com/blacksheepbar • Club: Rize - The Reunion Between 2004 and 2008 RIZE was the most successful promotion at Loop Lounge. Their infectious brand of fiercely uplifting funky electro house, incredible live percussion and brass always ensured nights of pure hedonism, glitz and glamour. For one night only, Rize returns to Loop Lounge. DJs Steve Facey, Nicky Boy, Michael Stratford, Jason Feist, Manos on Percussion, Kevin Reynolds on Saxophone, Admission 9pm – 6am Advance tickets £10, more on the door. Tickets are available from Loop Lounge and Swag Records, Croydon 020 8681 7735. Ticketweb 08444 771 000 or book tickets online ww.ticketweb.co.uk. ID is required by all guests. Strictly over 21’s. More info at www.rizeevents.com Dress Code: No caps, sportswear, or hooded tops. Jeans and trainers are permitted. Loop Lounge, 12 Crown Hill, Croydon, CR0 1RZ. 020 8760 7000 www.looplounge.co.uk • Music/Event: Star Wars In Concert A feast for Star Wars fans as Anthony Daniels narrates a performance of John Williams’ music, plus an exhibition of production artwork, Jedi costumes and props. Tickets £30 - £95 www.starwarsinconcert.com www.gigsandtours.com 0871 220 0260.

Mon 05 • Event: Easter Bank Holiday! • Event: Spring Beer Festival See Fri 26th. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Radio Dragon Barry and James broadcasting 'choons' and a fair amount of nonsense from midday onwards... they may be open to requests if you pop a pound in our charity pot! The Green Dragon, 42

what’s on 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Quiz: Green Dragon Chocolate-flavoured charity Pub Quiz with Wendy, 8pm start. The Green Dragon, 58-60 High Street, Croydon, CRO 1NA www.myspace.com/greendragonpub • Music: Easter Screamfest Acoustic Day Acts tbc. 1pm - 10.30pm. The Scream Lounge, 20 South End, Croydon, CR0 1DN www.myspace.com/screamstudios 020 8099 4624, 020 8686 5788 lounge@screamstudios.co.uk • Music: Croydon Jazz Band Big band jazz - 1st Monday of every month Botley Hill Farmhouse, Limpsfield Road, Warlingham Surrey, CR6 9QH. Phone: 01959 577154 email: enquiries@botleyhillfarmhouse.co.uk

Got something going on? Let us know e-mail: angela@deeplondon.co.uk

LETTERS L

ETTER OF COMPLAINT REGARDING THE BEANOS RECORD SHOP Dear Madame Editor, I wish to complain about BEANOS the Record Shop. I went there last week and it wasn’t there. Now, I had come a long way on a bus which was absolutely filthy and full of noisy schoolchildren. The driver insisted that I show him my Freedom Pass although it is absolutely obvious to anybody but a fool that I would not be reduced to taking that most odious method of transport if I were in the position to pay for an alternative. Then, having arrived after being assaulted by the cacophony of squealing brakes,

It’s always nice to get a letter, and following last month’s STUFF Croydon special, we got this one...

police sirens and infernal car hooters which seem to accompany every urban journey, I made my way towards Surrey Street Market knowing I would be passing Middle Street, home of BEANOS Records, on my way. I was, therefore, absolutely astounded to see that there was no longer even an indication that BEANOS had ever existed. In its place there was the same wonderful old building but, where there had been signs for BEANOS, there was an advertisement for something called STAFF. Now, let me explain. I am a record man. I don’t mean I hold records for anything (although I was a bit of a sprinter in my time). No, I mean I still have all my LPs. To my mind there is

nothing to equal them. I did think about those CV things but, to be frank, my cassettes are just as good and, as far as this thing goes, that everyone seems to do, where they get music from the internet, unloading, I think it is called, that is just not for me. I would never have a computer or a mobile phone. We never had them in the past and we got on jolly well without them. BEANOS was the one shop where I could spend hours chatting to the pleasant staff and, often, allowing the younger members to profit from my profound knowledge of music. I have seen many a young eye widen when I explained the reasoning behind the Duke Ellington post-war line up and the prominence of the tenor

saxophone in juxtaposition with the trumpet in the front line. Once, in 1994, I bought a record from them. (Unfortunately it was warped on one side so I had to return it after I had recorded it). I am a modest man but I have to say that I gave a great deal to BEANOS and was always welcomed on all my visits; many on a twice daily basis. I so treasure the memory when I was greeted at the counter by the actual owner of the establishment, Derek, I think he was called, when he announced to all the assembled Staff and Customers, “Oh God, here he comes again”. Praise indeed. So, imagine how distressed I was to see this new development called, I believe, STIFF, obviously occupied by some sort of wine bar or foreign snack bar. When I entered I had my worst fears confirmed. I was smiled at, in a rather

tempting way by Marie, who offered me her massage service. “Young lady” I said, “If I wanted a massage I would not have resisted that temptation in Cairo 1943” Then, as I walked through that most extraordinary building (still hoping to find my records) I felt a bit peckish and bought a slice of carrot cake from a really nice lady next to the café. Actually, I sat down in the café for a while and had a damn good cup of tea whilst eating the cake. A couple of young ladies sat next to me and showed me what they had bought, ear-rings, some hand-made chocolates, a hat for their kids and a jar of spicy sauce. I tried to tell them about Duke Ellington but they didn’t seem interested. Anyway, back to my initial complaint. I think I am a person who is very ‘young at heart’ and I embrace all these new things the youngsters do. Believe me,

when I did my National Service (Bring it Back!) I was no stranger to excesses of youthful behaviour. We used to have fights on a nightly basis. The favourite was when we held our fists together and the first one to break from this position would smack the opponent on the knuckles. One day Mullholland brought some drugs in to the barracks and we made some fake cigarettes from them. I was sick. But, to finish, may I, by this letter, say how sad I am to see that there is no BEANOS anymore. I may well buy another cup cake sometime but that is no substitute for what has gone. I will say “GOOD LUCK TO STIFF” and Derek, but I will not be visiting again for a long while. Apart from the Cup Cakes. A. Moanin-Oldgitte Surrey