Wichita Northwest High School Ursus 1991 90p by AJ Kirkpatrick

URSUS 199 1

WICHITA HIGH SCHOOL NORTHWEST

URSUS'91 A Literary Magazine Edited By Wichita High School Northwest's Creative Writing Class Volume 13 URSUS STAFF Editor-in-Chief - Sarah Deer Copy Co-ordinator - Janet McKinley Layout - Jason Beckmann and Amber Wassinger Art/Photography - Lisa Wedel Copy Editor - Lisa Heilman Promotion - Craig Miller and Derin Dopps Circulation - Lisa Snider and Dana Brown

FACULTYADVISOR Jerry Huddleston

THEME ARTIST Derin Dopps

COVERARTIST Catherine Rogers Special thanks to Mrs. Cindy Kinder

DISCLAIMER

The literary and art works submitted to the l99l URSUS are to the fullest knowledge of the staff original in tlreir content and design. If any works within this anthology ueplagiaraed, the staff denies knowledgeof that fact and so denies responsibility for the act and its publication.

URSUS L99L For centuries people have looked to the sky for a greater understanding of life, the seasons and as a map of the open sea. URSUS '91 is using the stars as a guide ino the world of poeury, art and fiction. Please

join us in our adventure as the constellations lead us to a journey of

excitement, horror, love and death.

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THB SUNTHE STARSAND THEMOON I love to sit and watch the sun shine Across a field it seems all mine I see the stars shine bright It's such a beautiful sight. When the moon is full it lights up the sky Surrounded by space, way up high. -Jen LaBelle

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TABLE OF CONTENTS LIBRA: POLITICS AND NATURE Peace by Amy

Wachho1t2...............

Fervor by Renee Krase...........

Civil Rights by Jill Jensen ...................6 Psaln 23 by Douglas Wayne Crow ..........................6 The Cold, Corrupt World by Lisa Heilman ...........7

Freedom by Jason Young Nature Anonymous. Apathy by Brad Mendenhall tI

Cook Reed

SCORPIO: DEATH AND DESPAIR

....................8 ........9

Comments by Jenny Rebecca Reed........................ 3g

Sometimes by Amanda Mead .................................

IVhat I Have Always Known by A. Mead ............39

Death by Renee Nedbalek....................................... 38 Suicide by Jen ................39 Holocaust by James ...........40 Remembrance by Debbie Fyler .............................40

A Child's Game by Crys .........11 War by Jenny Rebecca .............11 War by Kevin Cronn .......................... I I War Party by Kenny Kopf ............ .........................12 Environment by Amy WactrholE .......................... 14 The Preacher by Julian

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LaBelle....... Abraham

Skullsplitter by Kevin Doyle .................................41 Regrets by Ann ................44 Loneliness by Amy ..............44 White, Pure by Amanda Mead ...............................45 The Scream by .........................45 I Can Go On by Kandi .........45 Fulfillment by Brad Mendenhall II ................. .,.....46 Today/Tomorrow by Kenny Kopf .........................4g Punishment by Amy ...........4g Buddy by Kattryne .......49

Thompson Cropsey

..........15

GEMINI: FRIENDS AND EAMILY

Kork

True Friends by Stacy Munow..............................20

LaBelle........ Nedbalek

Crocodile by Jen Best Friends by Renee

....,,.....34

Curable Diseases by Brad Mendenhall II ..............34 A Mother Fearc by Whitrrey Dean......................... 35 The Stairway by Renee Krase................................ 36

...........20 ......20 Mrs. Von Braun by Kevin Cronn ......................,...21 )Youby ....................22 -- If You Could Love by Krista R. Co2ad.......... ........23 My Friend by Damon .........23 My Friend, My Love by Janet McKinley ..............24 An Old Friend by Lisa ...........25 Jim Hall by Craig ...................26 Parents by Bryce ..........27 Why? Anonymous ..................28 Dad by Jen I .......28 For Me by Crys Cook .............28

Ludwig

Cropsey Parker..........

Consequences by Whitney Dean .....................,......

SaraKirkparick

BOOTES: HUMOR AND LIGHT

Oliphant

Tanka by Jason Miller .......... .............5g The Trip by Angy Sunderman.. .........59

Wedel Miller Brecheisen.. ........... aRelle ...........

Fyler............

Kansas by Debbie .........60 The Talk Show by Anna Vaught............................ 6l

PISCES: LOVE AND LOSS I'll

STAR OF BETHLEHEM:

CHRISTIANITY Eternity by Renee Krase...........

.........30 He is the Light by Janer McKinley ........................31 Jesus by Stacy ......................31 Jesus by Whitney ..........32 Flowerage by Renee Krase ......32 Chaff on the Wind by A ........33

Always Love You by Kandi Ludwig........ ........& On This Day by Sara Kirkparick................ ...........& In My Heart by Janet McKinley ............................65 Our Memories by Whitney Dean ...........................65

Beckmann... O'Neal

Free Verse by Jason ......6 Surviving by Rashanda .........6 Roses by James Abraham ........................................ 62 His Hands Rest by Sracey Fundaburk .................... 6g

Murrow Dean............ .......... Junior

Lost in You by IKE ............. ..............68 -You and Me by Sara Kirkpatrick............................ 6g A Poet's Distress by Whitney Dean .......................69 Feelings by Sacey Jones........... .........69 Confuscd by Janet

McKinley

............70

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nrrndkeby Angy Sudermm I.ore b hy Ckd BailEY ..-...

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MILKY IilAY: ABIYTHINGGOES Johnmby Mhdy Murw' eomby Jsns Abraham

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..........-...-.......79 Anonymous................... ......-.....80

Cbct'g Secod Haad by S. Davis ....-............t0

Tunpr --.-.....-...--.....81 .......-'.........-.t2 Sni(k ...................82 Abnahaln Nig[tbylmeo Brce by Bred fvlurdentrall tr ............................83 Flungc from Glory by Holly I{offirm ............-.-..84 ........-.......-84 Copiccbylanes Abraham

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by Heidi

My Lifc by Lisa

LIBRA

POLITICS, NATI.]RE

Peace Peace should be:

leasant

xciting

Psalm 23

ppealing

asual

ternal

Bush is my shepherd, I shall not want. He maketh therich lie down in green curency. He leadeth me beside low taxes, he restoreth my pocket book; He

leadeth me in the paths of conservatives for his

job's

-Amy Wachholtz

Civil Rights Our God given rights

-Douglas Wayne Crow

Promise of equality

Skin color seemed "black and white"

"I have a dream." Now all's -Jill

sake.

Yea, ttrough I walk through the valley of Communists and Democrats, I will fear no evil, for thou are with me; Thy B-1 and thy warhead comfort me. Thou preparest a summit before me in the presence of mine enemies; Thou anointest my head with money, my wallet runneth over. Surely goodness and money shall follow me all the days of my life as long as he dwells in the White House forever.

Jensen

dead.

The Cold, Comrpt World The cold, corrupt world offering nottring but debt, despair, and isolation; Robbing people of their sanity, their will to

live. Fear and desolation around every corner. Children forced to live on the streets, their youthful innocence taken away, stolen ftom them.

City officials men andwomen of high stature, becoming as greedy, as evil and lusful as the criminals who roam the cities. Running, crying, searching

for a place ofrefuge, longing to feel the warmth of acceptance, but always finding more heartache and sorrow, resorting to physical and mental self-de stnrction through drugs, alcohol, and prostitution. Where can they nrrn

for love and support? Who will show them the good they possess inside? How can we turn our backs on them? Have we all become products of this cold, corrupt world? -Lisa Heilman

Freedom: A Right or Privilege? ; Is freedom a right or a privilege? After considerable thought" I have decided that we, as Arnericans, are privilcged to have therighls of freedom. Our rights of freedom have been earned

through the conflicts of our forefathers. The writers of the Constitution and the Bill or Rights listed our righs as Americans. A privilege is a special advantage that is earned like driving a car. Once you have earned the privilege, you have the right to drive. You can pass the driving test and get to drive, but if you violate too many laws of the road, then you can have yourprivilege taken away. To go along wittr that example, right now we have the freedom to do almost anything we want. But if we would kill se6sqne, then we could have our freedoms taken away. A right is more than a privilege. A right is a guarantee by the laws of the nation. In the case of freedom, someone else has earned the privilege for us. The American Revolution was a bloody war against England and its control over the colonists. Soon after the victory, the rights were written out in the Constitution and the Bill

The Bill of Rights states that we, as Americans, can speak and print whatever we want, even if what we say is against the government. We, as Americans, have the privilege to have the right to worship God in the way we choose. We have the right to privacy. Policeman cannot come into our homes to search unless they have cause and also have a search walTant. However, if we choose to break the law, then a warant can be issued, and we then lose the right to have our privacy. We have rights, but we also lose the privileges if we break the laws. The rights that we have can be taken away if we abuse ourrights. But even if we break a law, we will still have the right to a fair trial. However, if we are convicted of a crime, many of our righs wilt be taken away. If we abuse the privileges we have here in America, then we will lose the rights we have been given. The definitions of the words "right" or "privilege" are very close. It just seems like we are privileged to have the rights of Americans to be free in the land of the free and the home of the brave.

of Rights.

Jason Young

Nature Nature, our rain forests are shrinking fast Acid rain is falling down, desroying Many places to hunt are in the Past The streams are drying up, Ietting fish die Lakes are polluted, killing waterfowl To find a safe place, how far must they fly Deadly exhaust, killing our atmosphere Oil upsetting the delicate sea life An old Indian, in his eye a tear A new endangered species every day You may think you love nature very much But when you toss that trash out the window Think extremely hard and tell me the truth Do you love nature as much as you say

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Apathy A nation broken

o unis

Sometimes

each unit a person-

no longer 4 voice. Sometimes, When the carft seems grey, And all I see Is clouds of pain

United Stateswhat is in a name?

Sometimes, When the world is bitter, And all I am Is cold inside

PrrEcise equations-

patriotism + unity = strength Sometimes, When life grows sruzy, And all I want Is what I've lost

A nation of millions or millions of nations?

Sometimes, When friends have failed me, And all I have is nothingness

Freedom taken for granted.

I need a hug.

Anitudes of destnrctions.

-Amanda Mead

A [,ost Nation. -Brad Mendenhall

A Child's Game The war has begun They're fighting, shooting

Killing Bullets whizzing by Piercing flesh of foe or innocence? No one cares Not a war of men A war of children Some as young as nine. Their toys arc deadly Their games are fatal The battlefield is everywherc The cause of this war is unknown It has made our children murderers. When the colors are flown - no-one is safe. -Crys Cook

** War is so...logical. A simple solution to complex issues. "Just bomb 'em - that'll teach 'em" It drags on and on until Young proud men, once strong and vibrant Come home deranged And wounded

or dead.

And still the war rages on never Solving, nor teaching, nor winning. How...logical.

War

-Jenny Rebecca Reed

To some men war is good and their livelihood, They say war should not be feared in the least, And that war solves man's problems, as it should, Necessary for advancement in peace. Hail the heroes and throw out the cowards, Say generals with ivory handled pistols, While leaders say, this is our finest hour. Never dreaming of nuclear . Naive young men fighting old men's battles, Enduring fatigue, pain, and misery. Since the days the Calvary rode on saddles, Fufilling their God-given destiny. Whether blood and guts or heaven or hell; War is at worst when it's not fought at all.

-Kevin Cronn

War Party The treaty they signed with an "x" otl the line To form a new reservation but ttre old warriors sons raised fear with their war drums of destnrction and cast out all alone for the wise man would not condone they gathered to die with Pride. They raised their hand to the law and swore they wouldn't fall and signed it with a blood tie. They mounted for war to even the score and road off wittr a battle cry. Chorus:

join the pack, we'll get our revenge when we attack Weareone/WarParty The paint says it all, we will not fall, so come on join the pack. Atdawn we will attack - WarPartY So

Others tried to make peace with the white man that wouldn't cease but they knew they couldn't exist so motâ&#x201A;Ź and more had come to realize that the white man had lied and everything they had was at risk. The peace treaties were lies as they watched their own die and they sit irr sorrow Fifty more and more rose their hand to take their final stand because as long as there's Today there's hope fortomorrow.

-Kenny Kopf

Drawing by Dawn Clark

Environment The environment is in trouble, We've got to change on the double, We need to un-Pollute our air, And reat our oceans with care, Or we will burst our own bubble.

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:r*:--# Drawing by Chris Wolf

THE PREACHER It's 2079, and the heat meter reads 119 degrees. But you could not tell with the slqy dome that covers the earttr. Ttre skydome, the only piece of brilliance left in the world, put up after the nuclear annihilation 80 years ago. That disaster in itself causcd the ozone layer to deteriorate, 3.5 billion people parished, and the sky turned red as the blood of a wound. I can tell you this world has never been the same. The United States has been divided into separate sections. For example, I live in Spemag 17, fomrerly New York City. The town was one of the first to go. The walls have crumbled, and the sEects arc on firc24hours a day. the only people that live here are the dead and crazy. As you can see,I'm a little bit of both. Everyone's section is on their own, and the only law enforcement we have are Bounty Hunters wittr a military background. That's where I come in. My name is Nick Slade. I'm a cooperative Bounty Hunter, the kind who will question you before I shoot you. I've just received a new assignment 2 hours ago. I hope its a lot morp challenging than the last one. The only thing I had to do was kill a few former politicians. The company I worked for was called A.T.A.C. ( Anti-Terrorist Attack Commandoes). We were a squad of about 250. We were relatively small, but were the besr Each of us had a code name to discourage any outside rebellion against our squad. I was "The Prcacher". I thought that name up myself after I heard some minister say, "When I speak, you listen." I thought to myself yeah, when I'm pointing a gun to someone's head, they better listen. Well, it's about time for my appointment with my superior. You know, this corridor that leads to the station gets longer everyday. So many damn dials on this door,I sometimes forget my code number. "Press hand on screen, and punch code number in," requested the machine. "Technology, it's a beautiful thing ain't

it?" I thought to myself. The slide door opened, and I saw my commanding officer. "Hello, Nick. Nice of you to join us on such a lovely day, " he said with sarcasm. "And how are you Col. Stravinsky?",I asked.

"Good, Good. I havc a new assignment for you. It's a little nrore complex than your last one,

it involves the assassination of terrorist leader Kurt Ryker." Ryker, wasn't he a former bounty hunter for this sector?" I asked him. "Yes, he was our best, until he got some kind of crary idea that he could rsstoric Power back into this land." "And how am I supposed to find this Ryker character, Stravinslry?" "Rumor has it, he's back in this sector. He's supposed to have been worting with a couple of scientists, on some kind of chemical. He may try to poison our water, and food supply." "If I may be so bold to ask, Why would he try to do that? He knows he can't get into the resource facilities alone." "Hs won't go alone. Word has it he has his own unit of forces. And supposedly this chemical he has causes some sort of mutant to grow, and rip from your body. If that gets into our resources it could destroy half of the people, hell, all of the people in this section." "So that means I've got to stop him, right? How much time do I have?" "You have72 hours. After that if he gets into the systems, and poisons it, you'llhave 12 hours before it reaches the city," replied Stravinsky. "Any restraints on how you want me to handle it?" I had to ask. "Just one, you cannot, god forbid, kill him in the Shield Annex. You cannot shoot him in there. If you accidently shoot the system, you'Il blow up the skydome that covers the city." "'Well, grve me the supplies I need. You got a picrrre I can use to hunt him down, don't

you?"

'We keep all our employees pictures, and numbers up to ten years. Here, this is what he looked like a couple of years ago." "He should have thought thoroughly through this before stepping into this sector, with me here." "This is not a parade, Slade, you've got to get him before he gets to the Resource facility. You understand that don't you?" "Sure. If you'll excusg me, it's time o take care of my business." This case was in the bag,I thought to myself. All I need to do is go down o the section of Spetnaz called "Sphinx". No doubt that he's there. Every criminal is. Look at these pigs. This was one of, if not the worst sections in Spetnaz. You've got hardcore criminals, drug addicts, runaways, rapists, prostitutes, and any other worldly people you can think of. I had about ten things I had to conceal so I wouldn't have to answer any questions. Snrpid shotgun, always too big or too wide to hide under my coat. Oh well, no one is gonna question me if I have a loaded gun. I'11 just strap it to my back. Look at me,I'm talking to myself. What am I doing here? I should be back at head office, commanding, not hunting. As I walk into this club, I can tell you already its going to be the most disgusting thing I've ever seen. Nothing but a bunch of addicts and prostitutes. I walked up to the owner and asked him if he head seen Ryker around. Knowing full well he wouldn't answer,I pointed the shotgun at his head. He was very cooperative in answering my question, considering his position. "Yeah, yeah. I've seen him around. He was in here about three hours ogo," replied the shaking owner. "Yeah? Who was he with?" "I don't know...A couple of guys, I guess. I wasn't paying attention." "That's what I want to hear. Now, if he comes in here again, I want you to call this number." The man said okay after I pulled the gun down from his chin. I started walking out when people started screaming and running around smashing things. Some guy fell onto the

bar and started screaming, saying something about his stomach. Some sort of animal stretched out of the side of him, and jumped out of him. It started for me, as I pulled out my gun and shot it in the head. Then everyone in the bar had a mutant, ripping from their flesh. I switched my gun to flarne thrower, torched the place, then ran outside and threw a grenade in the place. As I watched the bar go down in flames, I pulled out my mini-phone and called Stravinsky. "Stravinsky, you there? Speak! C'mon,I have an incident happening he,re." "Nick! What in the lord's name are you doing? I sent you to hunt down Ryker, not to go bar-hopping and blow up civilians!" "How did j'ou frnd that out so fast?" I asked. "Bad news travels fast. Especially when it involved my men," replied Stravinsky. "The chemical Ryker is using just doesn't contaminate the resources. It desnoys humans. My guess is that he's planning on destroying the population." "My God. You better get to him quickly beforc...." fust as Stravinsky was about to glve me orders, the transistor screwed up, and some ugly old fart showed up on the radio. "Stravinsky, this is Lt. Ryker. You should know that I can't be stopped, especially by some baby rattler." "We'll see who can't be stopped," I replied. "I guarantee I'won't lose." "Do you grve a waranty with that guarantee, Mr. Slade?" asked Ryker. "Listen Ryker. You give up, and we'll give you a fair trial for your crimes against this sector," said Stravinsky. "You wouldn't glve a trial. You'd shoot me on the spot I used to work for the company - I know how you work." "Now, you listen to me!" yelled Stravinsky. '"That is all I have time for. I will let you know when I have time to continue my conversation with you. In the nrcan time, enjoy your new polluted city," scrcamed Ryker. The transisor went blank. I tried to call him back, but there was no luck.

"Slade, we have a fix on his position," said Stravinsky. "He's a the resource facility. You have to get to him fast. Unless he's bluffing, he has already contaminated the first set of resources to be shipped to our sector." "You should have seen what happened at that bar, Stravinsky. This place wil be destroyed with mutants running all over the place. I'll call as soon as I get Ryker." "Remember, Nick. You cannot shoot the shield Annex. You don't know how to control it." I should have known Ryker would srike the Resource center fint. That means the second place would be the Annex. If he gets the shield open, he can burn up most of this sector. I can't believe he's willing to risk his life to own this section. As soon as I got to the Resource Center,I unstrapped my gun and reloaded it. This damn radar Stravinsky gave me is supposed to display any movement on its screen. It works...unbelievable. Oh yeah, now I see them. Only five or six of them. What a moron Ryker is. He really thinks he's going to rule the world with five of six guys. I ought to.... "Hey!" yelled Moron Number One. I didn't think much of him, so I shot him. I know I said that I'd question you before I shot him, but I ruled that out at the present moment. So, I ended up shooting all of Ryker's men. I was tired of Ryker's game, so I discarded everyone and ran to the radar display sqeen. Ah yes, the only man who could upset me as much as he did. He was alone - just the way I wanted him. Getting closer to him was no problem, but I had to move fast. He was already in the annex. I grew closer to him, pulling my shotgun from my back, and fhed it. Ryker then turned around with a gun in his hand. I pulled the trigger, and nothing seemed to hit him. Then Ryker laughed. I stepped closer to ouch him. It was a freakin' hologram. Great, more technology. Only I didn't get one of those devices! The real Ryker stepped up from behind me and laughed. "You really think you could've stopped me?" he said. "Surely you realize that there are no more heroes left in the world. You are the last of

an elite group.

I'm going to enjoy killing you." "Why didn't you just shoot me from behind? Why tell me this to my face?" I asked. "I wanted to see this mutant rip from your flesh just like those people in the Sphinx." "Why did you kill those people in the Sphinx?" I asked. "What were they to you?" "They were experinrents. People with nothing left to live for. I put them out of their misery. Law and order must be put back to this land, and I intend to do it. This gun right here is filled with the chemical. You'll die within minutes." He laughed hysterically. I had nothing to lose, so I jumped for his gun. I got it out of his hand, but it wasn't in mine. He started punching my face, which made me real upset. Just then, Stravinsky came up the stairs. Boy, was I glad to see him. But by that time, I had Ryker in a headlock. Stravinsky pulled his gun and yelled, "Ryker,let it go. Nick, okay you can let him go.t'

"It's about time you showed up. I was just about to finish him off," I said. "You're such a fool, Slade. You led me right to Ryker. You alright, Ryker?" asked Stravinsky. "What arc you doing, colonel?" "I've woken up Slade, why don't you? The only way anything gets done is if we take care of it." I saw Ryker's gun on the ground and ran for it. I picked it up and shot Stravinsky. I decided against questioning him - all I knew was he betrayed me. Ryker ran for his gun and yelled, "Goodbye, Slade!" He shot the annex box and disbanded the shield. A voice came over the intercom and said, "You have twenty minutes to clear the sector." The sirens went off. I stepped up and saw Rykerrunning for the door. "Ryker!" I yelled, pulling my gun. "Herâ&#x201A;Ź's your walTanty, you son of 4 " I Shot him in the head, and as he fell down, Stravinsky stafted screaming. The mutant ripped from his flesh, and I shot its head open. I had ten minutes to get out. I ran to where Ryker was and looked in his pockets for a key. As so as I got the key,I

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ran out the door. Outside there was a shuttle ship waiting. Unbelievablc - more tcchnology. But I gotin it anyway. Thc time was eight minutes lefr I turned the ship on and the shicld opened as I lifted into thc air. I could scc pcople dying in the sector, and explosions wqrc happening right after. Why didn't I save them? I know I cannot save the world, but why did it happen? I asked myself these questions as I left the exploding sector. I headed for GRIDLOCK7}0, the new sector in Miami. I was never going to be involved in anything like ttrat again.... TIIE END???

-Iulian Juarez

Photo by Jennifer Elder

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FRIENDS and FAMILY 19

With a tear in my eyc I will say goodbye To a goodfriend This is not the end I will miss you You will miss me too But though this is a sad daY

True Friends

I'll

say what

I always

say

After awhile

Gocodile!!!!! Throughout all the world True Friends are the best Their true colors show As we put them to the test They are there when we need them And there when we do not They care for us deady And love us a lot

- Stacy Murrow

-Jen LaBelle

Best Friends We will laugh We will cry We will grow old We will die, But we will always be together Because we are best fiends forever In our heart and mind Because we are like one of a kind. -Renee Nedbalek

Mrs. Von Braun Everybody has had a teacher like Mrs. Von Braun. You know, the typc that is a little lacking in the diciplinary deparment. That's the reason students take her class. She does try to dicipline the students, but the problem is that she just isn't threatening. She teaches German; and teaches it well too. It's not that she isn't a good teacher, she is, but there is still the probtem of the dicipline. With her upbringing it's easy to understand why. Born in Germany in the 1930's she lived under the oppression of the facist government. She saw the destruction the Allies bestowed unto Germany. After the fall of Hitler, during the communist takeover of East Germany, she and her family fled to the United States. All of this before the age of six. It would stay with her the rest of her life. Being so close to death would change the way a person thinks, I assume, especially at such a young age. After seeing the death and destruction one man can bring it would be hard to try and siscipline other people. None of her students knew about her upbringing. They just figured she was a crazy old bird, whoes class was an easy A. Of course Mrs. Von Braun didn't blame them. How could they know the horrors of the Holocaust? She hoped they never would. -Kevin Cronn

You dedicated to Stacey Jones

Without you... I couldn't I couldn't I couldn't I couldn't times. I couldn't I couldn't

make it through the night. make it through the day. make it through the guys. make it through the tough laugh. cry.

With you... I make things right. I know what to say. I fly so high. I cannot lie.

see things through.

I know when to let things die. I found things that had been long lost. I found a lasting friend. -Sara Kirkpatrick

Photograph by Rosalie Breth

My Friend One of my friends made me feel so naive --

If You Could Love If you could love But for a little while Who would you pick Through the eyes of a child? To be mommy's girl Or light in dad's smile Could you choose For a little while? If you should live But for a moment's time Where would you pick For the hour's chime? A placid river Or a quiet meadow Or the presence to stand Beneath another's shadow? Or if you could love Any way you dream How would it finish In the way you seem? To be part of another To find your place To love but a moment Is its own secrct grace. For if you can love for a moment Then no poet can tell That you have already found The strength to live well.

to make me think that she wouldn,t deceive Where did that leave me, open to deception She had left me with such false conception Was I at fault ? Was I not to trust ? After a,yedr now I'll leave if I must

Will she fool anymore in the future I think so, like a big joke But she will never understand

her hands that reached out arc the ones that will choke

I grew up a lot from it all, to rise and gain, then to fall, but I can't say I didn't have a good time, For I gained other friends there a lot more kind. Who knows what friends will be on ahead I can't tell it can't be said But down away far from her, and the memories gone

I'll

still be happy as the sun just ramblin, on.

- Damon Oliphant

-Krista R. Cozad

My Friend, My Love You are my friend, you arc my love. You are the hawk, you are the dove.

You are the best, you are the worst. You are my death, you are my birth. You

ane the sky, you are the sea. You are the calm, you are the breeze.

You are the dark, you are the light. You are the wrong, you are the right. You are the frown, you are ttre laugh. You are the road, you are the path. Drawing by Chris Wolf

You are the beginning, you are the end. You are my love, you are my friend. -Janet McKinley

An Old Friend

Johnny Andrews lived a block away from me. We were in the second grade together. Every morning as I walked to school I passed his house, and every morning I saw the sarne thing. Johnny's house was gigantic. It was antique but it had a haunted effect to it. The house hadn't had a paint job in a least a hundred years. The lawn wasn't made of grass, it was filled with weeds of every kind, growing clear up to my waist. The tnees in the yard were rnice as big as the house only they weren't healthy, beautiful trees. These trees never grew leaves in spring, or in any other time of the year. If Johnny saw me walking past his house on the way to school, he would run out to join me. His pants were always too short and her never had shirts that were wann enough in the winter. He only had one pair of shoes which were covered with scuffs. But besides all of these things, Johnny had a pleasant look about him. He had thick, dusty brown hair and deep blue eyes. His lip were very full and bright red. Johnny and I spend that whole school year together. As the school year was ending, Johnny started missing school more and more. One morning as I y6 yelkilg past his house I noticed a fumiture truck in his driveway. Furniture movers were loading it with a beat'up sofa and an otd dining room table. I kept on walking because I was already late for school. Johnny didn't make it to school at all that day. As I started my walk home after school an overwhelming feeling of sadness came over me. When I reached Johnny's house, what I had been afraid of all day came true. Johnny was already gone. I never saw him again. -Lisa Wedel

Jim Hall Jim Hall was a lonely kind of guy who never talked much. Iim had a good understanding of nature. He wasn't very big, about medium height, but he was socky. His face was scarred and calloused, and weathered with neglect. I don't think it's important to te[ whether he was white, black, or Mexican, but, in case you'rewondering, he was half Cherokee Indian. I do feel he was the last mountain man in Colorado. At least he was the only one I knew of in the Rockies. He was a ' one of a kind' mountain man. He was nomadic in the srunmer and spring. In the fall and winter he stayed in a log cabin he built by himself out of oak. Jim was a happy man. No one ever bothered him. During the last year of his life he grew a long white beard. Also, during ttris time the fire in his eyes disappeared and the wind that raged in his heart calmed. The night before he died I visited his campfire to bring him some jerky that my wife made.

As I approached the fire, the aroma of cooked rabbit filled the air. It smelled so good I had to stay awhile. Jim and I began to talk. Well I talked. I knew hd was listening to me by the way he would nod his head and smile at whatever I said. I felt we were becoming friends,I asked Jim where he came from and how he got here. He turned his head. When he turned back to me, I swear I saw a tear trickle from his eye. I knew I had said something wrong, but I didn't know what to say to apologize. I felt real terrible so I said goodbye, and as I walked through the woods and down the side of the mountain, I looked back to see the smoke rise above the tnees into the night. That was the last time I saw Jim. Some people say it was a ghost or something that carried him off. Others way it was the military. They had to use him for a top secret mission. But I say he got tired and went back to his family... wherever they might be. -Craig Miller

Parents They live for life though its often so hard. Commanding but gentle, humble but strong. They go great lengths on a road that is far To show us through punishment what's right and wrong. Her gentle hand comforting silently Mending sad tears of scraped knees and torn hearts.

And though he's dred he works on quietly Both, people with whom its so hard to part. In times of trial they keep up the faith. Always and forever caring so much Day in and day out without a comptaint. Isn't too bad we all are not such People who love in those special ways, Who are willing to pay the price ourparents pay. -Bryce Brecheisen

whv? Whenever I stop to think about You, I wonder how it is ttrat you don't carc. With all that I am and all that I do, Why is it that hate is all we can share? I've always loved you, but something deep down Reminds me of everything you have done. How could you push me so deep in ttre ground? When I looked to you as the onlY one. But now there's "him", who seems to take your place, And in my heart he'll never be the same. Yet now I think of you with true disgrace, You are my father but carry no name. I love you, father, and yes it's tnre. As far as it goes it's all uP to You.

Anonymous

Dad I have a few words I'd like to say That is if it's okay Even if you and I Don't always see eye to eye You still must know I respect you so We've had a lot of hard times We fight too much, which is one of our worse crime But as I grow Though it doesn't always show You still must know I love you so!!!!! -Jen LaBelle

For Me So rnany things separated us.

You were novâ&#x201A;Źr there. When I move(I needed you but you were never there. I grew and changed I wanted to show you I was better But you were never there. I had the friends,I needed you But you were never there. I fell in love And wanted to share my happiness with you, But you werc never there. I cannot count how many times I needed you. You left me when I was changing from a child to an adult Our letters are nothing; about unimportant things. Why mother, did you go? You were nevcr there

for me. -CYys Cook

STAR OF

BETHLEHEM #

*.x

la -fa

CHRISTIANITY 29

Eternity A stark white hospital A baby born A little bundle of joy grows and blooms watered by God's love

life sustained then stafrs to fade wilts away. Stark white heaven life reborn grows and blooms forevermore! -Renee Krase

Photograph by Kim O'Neal

He Is The Light Pushed into thc darkness, pushed in a black hole; lost all of my hope,

can't find my soul. Caught in a web of tangled-up fright. All hope is gone. Where is ttre light? Pushed into the deep,

dark, dreary sea. Nothing to cling to and no one but me. Caught in a tidal wave, lost all my sight. All love is gone, where is the light? Pushed into a forest of darkness and trees; lost in it's deepness and blown by the breeze. Caught in a trap some hunter has set.

Jesus He is the shepherd And we are the sheep He comforts us gently And rocks us to sleep He is constantly with us Through our thick and our thin Although we may reject him Again and again So meet my friend And you will see That the best friend in life Is ttris special He -Stacy Murrow

Where is the light? I can't find it yet.

But before my eyes I see someone's hand; it's pulling me out of this drowning quicksand! And now I can see that I'll be all right. Jesus will guide meHe is the Light! -Janet

McKinley

Jesus Love is inHis cyes radiant light surounds Him lle looks with sadness -Whitney Dean

Flowerage I walked thrcugh arcse gudentoday, prcuy day in May. I saw a crcation so divine, onc I wish I could claim as minc. What I saw was littlc but great It held no fear, no shamo, no hato. AllI saw was &flowetr, but is beauty hcld power. It will die but bloom again, just like we do when Jesus washcs away our a

sins. -Reneo Krasc

Chaff on the Wind People begin life with delusions of grandeur. I am going to succeed, they think, but at what? I am going to further myself in every way possible and be the best that I can be, but for whom? I wilt give tons of my money to the poor and keep for myself only what will make me comfortable, but what good will it do? I will love everyone and hate not a soul. I will have no prejudices or reserye for those unlike me, but who will this help? NO ONE! It is here today and gone tomorrow. Then what, I ask, is my life for? My life and every single life is make to do one thing. If I comply with this plan, I will succeed. I will further myself and do good for others. I will love everyone and have no prejudices. What is this plan? It is to be one with Christ and to bring the lost to him in love. This is a never ending-never dying plan for all of mankind. Life is not over when people die. Life has yet to begin. Every single person who has ever been conceived, will live forever regardless of how thly 1ived their lives. The best way to live your life is not persuing chaff on the wind through riches, fame and fortune, but by giving life to the lost through Christ. If I follow this plan, I will succeed. I will succeed in eternal heaven instead of eternal hell. I will further myself. By teaching others, and giving them wonderful fife after death through Jesus, I will give something much better than money to the poor in the name of Christ. I will lovi everyone and hate not a soul, for God is love. My life will not be chaff on the wind.

-A Junior

Curable Diseases There he is again, the man kneeling before his Personal Jesus.

Fervor when I rest my sleepy head and I know that all my prayers are I listen to the crickets chrp, and

said,

see the places where darkness

will

lurk,

I am looking in my heart where Jesus christ started

spark. Now that spark is a blaze,

soul is empty' never ::.1t^::'his but he knows that he is content.

for him who rose from the grave on that

daY'

-Renee

Krase

The belief was strong' The feeling was strong'

thankful

As a boy in his hood' he lived' died' emerged anew' His Personal Jesus is kind, generous' and his' His Personal Jesus gives him comfort, gives him hope, gives him reason. This is all that mankind needs.

-Brad Mendenhall

A Mother Fears for her Child A mother looks into her child's eyes and fears the thought that one day she must explain why the world is such a cruel world and she doesn't even know how she'll answer when that day comes because she herself doesn't understand

A rnother looks into her child's eyes and wonders how she can protect her child

from this world and the pain a heart feels from knowing what the world is like

A mother looks into her child's eyes and cries because she knows her

child

has been broueht into a world of hate

and she wonders how she can show her child that there is a perfect idea called love that can exist even in the midst of this world if you let it

A mother looks into her child's eyes and knows the only way to answer her child the only way to protect her child the only way to give hope to her child is by telling her child about the love born of God the only real love the love that is found never in this world but if search it will be found in your heart

-Whitney Dean

The Stairway Standing on the stairs of life I decide to take a breather. I look around me and see many sights. A man running to get to the top as fast as he can! A child playfully carefree, making his way up. A women, asleep on a stair to rest her weary body. But what stands out the most is a man, never lacking energy who goes around helping all. He comes towards me. His face is shining with a radiant light. He holds It's Jesus. his hands out for me to take

-Renee Krase

Photograph by Jennifer Elder

SCORPIO

DEATH and DESPAIR 37

What I Have Always Known I looked out the window and saw the sky unfold, the clouds roll by, the flowers bloom, the birds fly, the showers fall, the moon rise, the sun set.

Comments on mY 15th Year Who can breathe while they're choking? Who can swim while theY're drowning? You can stay afloat while theY're Trying Trying Trying to understand the pulling waters? I panic when I concentrate And my soul - it fights me While I struggle to stay alive, In the cold, black sea. Where is the light and sunshine I was promised would aPPear? "Does the whole world lie?" I gasP. I wonder if All the people are Being pulled under The whirlpool. I gasp and fight for breath. -Jenny Rebecca Reed

And then I knew What I have always known:

If I were to die, the world would surely live.

-Amanda Mead

Death Death comes to those who don't pray, Those who want it and go astray. To those that don't have the will to live, They die of starvation, loneliness and pain.

When we bury someone we should rejoice, For they died because of God's choice. When their memory fills out mind, We understand more about their kind. We know now where they went wrong, They grew weak instead of strong. -Renee Nedbalek

Suicide I once told you I loved you You said you loved me too I trusted and I believed When you died I grieved I miss your ouch and kiss When I was with you I was in bliss When you called me that final day I still thought everything was okay How could I have been so blind Everything was gre,at in my mind Even when you cried My eyes were dried

Why I couldn't see That one day you'd leave me When you held the gun to your head I knew before you pulled the trigger you were dead You died long ago Inside you did not want to grow You were tired of life But said I'd one day be your wife Right from the very start I gave to you my heart The last words you said To this day still ring in my head I think of tragic love As I put on my glove The gun you used is in my hand Our hearts together in one land I'll come now, soon to join you My last words "I Irve You" My last thoughs are oh so very sad But I need to be with you very bad On the other side of life and death I will soon breathe my last breath I asked you many times to wait for me Wait no longer, me you will soon see Your last words are in my head "I love you but I long to be dead" So do I, you know I will always love you so!!!!!

Goodbye!!!!!!!! -Jen

IaBelle Photograph by Sarah Deer

Holocaust !!

You

see,

Dead bodies. Piled, One on another. Scarred,

Disfigured. Looks, Hardly human. Cruelty, Abounds. Superior race? There is none. Holocaust! Senseless,

Unjust,

Killing

-James Abraham

Remembrance Jewish people are just the same as you and me, They shouldn't have been held, they should have been free. The Germans had no right to kill, and hotd the Jews against their will.

Families were separated in a process called selection, Through which the Germans showed no trace of affection. Thousands of Jews were crâ&#x201A;Źmated each day, Children didn't want to die, they wanted to play.

Men were sent to labor camPs, and onto their arms a number was stamped. Into the chambers, women and children were taken, In which they were gassed, so they would never awaken. Many Jews still suffer todaY, While corpses of loved ones are left to decay. -Debbie Fyler

Skullsplitter Special thanks to Chris Doyle, for his act kindness by stayrng up late to t5pe my unfinished story.

The morning was crisp and cool, the dew fine and wet, and the blood dry and cracked. The bodies strewn about the clearing were disnrbed from their eternal sleep by a huge, hulking man. The Viking marched past without noticing because they weren't on his mind today. His concern was his share of the booty being hoarded by the chief of his clan. As he made his way to the place where Chief Lothar Bloodspiller was camping, the Viking did notice one body. It was the body of the warrior that had actually challenged him instead of running or pleading for mercy. His cold, blue eyes studied the man's body and noticed the deep split in his caved-in skull. The Viking Warrior took pride in that horrendous gash because he had made it. He turned with a snap and his golden hair and beautiful necklaces whirled about as he marched toward the tent he had been searching for. As he entered, he was in awe at the amount of gold, silver, and other precious metals on and around Chief Ipthar Bloodspiller. "Ah, Boris Skullsplitter, I see you have come for your cut of the booty?" The Viking Warrior raised the open leather bag in his right hand and said, "Yes, L,othar Bloodspiller, I split many a skull last night and I deserve a reward." "This is true, yet you didn't kill as many as my right hand man, Olaf Bonecruncher." "That is true, my Chief, but I still deserve a

fair cut." "I'll give you a fair cut!" The yell came from Boris' left. As he turned, he caught a glimpse of steel and instinctively ducked. The man toppled over Boris and fell to the ground. Seizing this opportunity, Boris raised his trusty axe and, with a beast-like roar, crashed down on the man's

skull, splitting it in half. The man slumped and Boris rccognized the face as Lars Deathbringer-an evil and loyal servant to Lothar Bloodspiller. Boris turned on Lothar and advanced until he stood less than a foot away. "Now give me the gold,.. hissed Boris in a low, menacing voice. Fearing death, Lothar put two shaking handfulls of gold in Boris' open pouch. Boris Skullsplitter turned to leave and upon passing, Lars Deathbringer's body reached down and snatched Lars' gold. "He won't be needing this anymore,,'said Boris with a sneer. He then stalked out of the tent and toward his own encampmenl Back in the chief s tent, Lothar Bloodspiller was seething with rage. Not only had his favorite servant been slain, but a good deal of gold was gone, too. "I will have my vengeance Boris Skullsplitter. By Odin I will have my vengeance.,' Boris entered his tent and, placing his gold pouch under his tunic, laid down to rest. Shortly, a small head with tow sinister eyes poked in the flap of the tent. The visitor's name was Howard Beheader, and he was only making sure Boris was asleep. He pulled his head out and glanced over at five of the biggest Vikings in the land. Inside rhe tent, Boris silently picked up his axe and rose to his feet Although Howard Beheader had been silent when he looked in the tent, Boris smelled his scent in the air. No Viking washes regularly, and Howard was no exception. Boris raised his axe and burst out of the tent. Before Howard could even turn, his skull was mashed and his pitiful life was over. Boris looked up and smiled at the other Viking. Two of them turned and ran but the other three drew their weapons and faced Boris Skullsplitter. With a deafening roar, Boris slashed into the Vikings and killed two before they even reacted. Boris backed up a step and turned to face his last

opponent. He was a little surprised to see such a monstrous man but he especially noticed the heavy, black helmet covering his face. The man's hand reached up to the helmet and pulled it off, exposing his deep blond hair and black eyes. Boris' eyes widened as he stared at the face of Olaf Bonecruncher. Olaf was Lothar Btoodspiller's right-hand man and one of the deadliest Vikings Warriors ever. Olaf drew his weapons-tow long, double-edged swords, and advanced on Boris. "You're mine!" he growled.

"We'll

see,

Olaf."

The rwo men circled each other before clashing. The battle was more fierce than any in the history of the land. Otaf Bonecruncher drew fint blood after dodging one of Boris' devastating overhead smashes. He dodged to the side and then slashed Boris' arm with his blade. Boris then retreated a step, focused on Olaf, and attacked. As he moved forward, Olaf executed a perfectly timed kick, knocking Boris down and his a;re away. Olaf quickly moved to a position above the blade into Olaf s thigh. Olaf dropped his swords and clutched his leg in pain. Seizing this opportunity, Boris grabbed his axe, jumped to his feet, and swung at Olaf. At the last possible second, Olaf ducked and the axe that had killed so many a head passed just inches above his. He escaped the axe but as he went down, Boris' foot came up. The kick connected powerfully and sent Olaf flying. This time Olaf couldn't dodge as the axe claimed another victim. Olaf's skull caved in under the weight of

Olaf Bonecruncher's body. He exchanged armor and tunics with the lifeless body, put on the black mask, and hefted Olaf on his shoulder. Upon arrival, Boris noticed two armed guards standing by the tent and three more around a fire. He masked his voice to simulate that of Olaf and said,

"You two, go to Boris' tent and help the other they are injured." The guards peered Vikings at him a moment before leaving. "Go now! Do not fear, I have Boris' body here - skull split like he would have split ourchief s!" Hearing the words of encouragement, the guards took off for the tent, totally unaware of the surprise they would soon see. Boris entered Lothar's tent, still disguised as Olaf, and dumped the body face down on the floor. "Herc is the almighty Boris Skullsplitter, my Chiefl He drew my blood but I conquered without trouble." Iothar's eyes bnightened at the sight.

"Olaf, my friend! Olaf, my right-hand man! By Odin, you are a gift. You have ridden me of a pesky insect and I praise you!" "My Chief,I have but one question. Why did you wish for the death of one of our best warriors?" "He was just as you said: "One of our best." His abilities may have even rivaled yours. He they was also very popular with the men - into would die for him. They followed him battle with fire and spirit!" "They do the same for you." "You speak a lie," the Chief said. "My men dislike me. They abandon me and follow Boris. But no more! If it weren't for you, they may Boris'blade. have revolted and kilted me. Irt me now look into the face of this warrior before he enters last Boris had had enough. This battle was the straw. He knew Lothar feared him and sought to Valhalla." Lothar turned the body over and cringed at the gash in his skull. Suddenly, he have him killed so Boris hefted his axe and leaned close and studied the features of the dead Before tent. Bloodspiller's the turned toward leaving, he thoughtfully asked the dead men if he man. Surprise and intense fear came over Lothar Bloodspiller's face as he recognized the dead could have their gold. They made no reply to man. He shook with terror as he looked up at the Boris figured that was a 'yes'. He fathered their Viking standing before him. The hand went up gold and took off for Lothar's tent. After taking paused and the mask came off as it had done before. went back to he and a couple of steps,

This time, however, there was a different face behind it. Once again, the person that looked upon the face of the masked man experienced a moment of horror never felt before. Lothar rose slowly and backed away from the source of horror. "Your time has come, my evil Chief!" Thesc words were spoken in the true voice of a Viking. "No....Please...I beg you! It...it was a test! A test to see if you were worthy to take Olaf's place !" said the honified man called Bloodspiller. His plea was answered by a booming yell. "You weasel! You feared me and tried to kill me! You are not worthy to exist here on Odin's mighty world!" "Boris please! I'll...I'll give you anything! Gold, weapons, status anything!" "You no longer have the power to give these things! Come with me I'll show you." Boris dragged Lothar by the neck outside the tent. All the men of the clan stood our in the field staring at Boris and Lothar. "See your men? They don't move a muscle to rescue you, do they?" Lothar said nothing. "Do you wish to save your Chief?" yelled Boris. "NO!!!!" replied the crowd of men. "You unworthy Vikings!" screamed Lothar. "You are loyal to your Chief or you arc not true

drank to mark their new Chicf. The nc.xt tlay. Boris and his clan went back to their honrelnntl and reorganized. Boris ussernbled nn rnuy of over two hundred Vikings. Thcy wcnt on ro many successful raids in the tbllowing ycan untl becanrc the riches, most powerful, and nrost feared Vikings in the history of the land. However, that is another story, to be told snother time.

Kevin Doyle

Vikings!" "We are loyal to our chief," came the reply. "Boris!!!" Boris listened to this exchange and turned toward lothar. "Your time has come, Lothar Bloodspiller, for your own blood to spill." said Boris. "your treachery has made you an unworthy Viking!" With these words, Boris Skullsplitter nrised his axe, and, in one swift motion, decapitated Lothar. The men rejoiced and yelled as blood spilt over the land. "Hail to the new Chiefl! Boris Skullsplitter!"

There was not a more festive night in the history of the land. The Vikings danced, are, and

Regrets I don't really remember when he came into my life. Looking back it seems like he was always therc. When I was sick, upset, or just needed a friend. I knew who o call. He married my grandma when I was only seven. We became great Buddies,I was his "little girl" and he was my "Best Friend." We did everything together until a few years ago when I went through some tough times. I started dating and became a differen,p person, I thought I knew everything.

Loneliness

Often I found myself only thinking of me. In his time of need or just when he wanted someone around, I only thought of me. He was diagnoses with terminal cancer last He later died in I regret not being there for him in his last months. I wasn't there when he needed a friend.

December.

I have many grcat memories in my heart but regrets fill my mind. -Ann Thompson

May "

Forever searching Wondering of tomorrow Will there be someone that will hold you close lomege Something that lasts forever.

- Amy Cropsey

White, Pure White, pure The snow falls from The sky Down on my Dark, evil Heart

At first it Seems cold, Wet, worthless Then it Looks beautiful, Fun, carefr,ee

I Can Go On... Samrday morning, I wake as the sun shines brightly in my eyes. I get up and lmk in the mirror, my eyes are swollen and red I feel a stab of pain. I-ooking around I remember... You're gone. Gone, forever gone. Forever. I sit down on my bed with a defeated look I don't have energy to do much except lo&. The room is in total disarray... Pillows thrown all over the rmm, Books on the flou, Broken glass everywhere.

I think I'm going crazy. How could you just die? You knew, but you didn't tell me.

If only my Heart were White, pure Like thc snow.

-Amanda Mead

The Scream When I SCREAM I scream loud I scream with all the hate anger and confusion I can muster I often cry for no reason at all And when I need to cry the tears never seem to fall. Everything builds up inside of me until I open up and let everything out. Then I scrâ&#x201A;Źam, cry, yell, hit, and close myself off again until I have another chance to let everything out again.

-Kork

Now I wonder why. I need you now.

I've always needed somsone to lean on. Now, even you are gone. I've got to face it alone. lrlaybe I can... People say that time heals everything. Who are they kidding? It's more than time, it's willingness, support and srength. You had secret strength, somoone called God. You told me about it, I said I didn't need to believe it. I depended on you for strength,

l"Iaybe that's why you didn't tell me. You knew I couldn't handle it, You spared me ttrat pain. And now I realize how much... I believe and need your God, To be my God too. I cry out for help, ask for peace, and receive iL I'm overwhelmed with peace. I know that I can go on, That my life will go on... Because ofyou,

Your love, our faith, your example. The clouds are gone, I see the sunlight, And ttrank you for showing me the way. I have no more doubts. I can go on and live...

-KandiLudwig

Fulfillment Standing thcre, Standing the,tB, alliance, alone,

in a frcldof thought in

freldof thoughr It watches,

It watches, waiting, waiting, taking, taking, stalking the frec soul. stalking the lonely prisoner. The fieldThe freld-

barren

beautiful

colorfrrl

gray intenesting.

dull.

A fulfillrent of time aking its toll. A prty of timc taking its toll. DeathDeath-

foreseen but not fought.

foreseen but not soughr

The bountiful pages of paint, The blank pages of no ink,

valued,

no value,

yet tarnished"

]ret no mistakes,

but worth

but hardly worth

for the wisdom.

to be untarnished.

-Brad Mendenhall

SIIYI E W

RAT V AU(uH/./tI lq51-

nla

Drawing by Jason Bickharn

Today//Tomorrow I'm a whisper in

the wind. My cries for help have never been answercd. I wonder if they've ever been heard.

The world around me is moving much faster. Am I headed for disaster, will my problems be cured. I spend my day watching the world pass by. And I can't help but wonder if it would be easier to just lay down and die. Chorus: Take me away to the land of tomorrow and leave me there in the hands of sorrow. And never to return this life's a lesson that's been learned. I'll never have to die, never have to say goodbye...

I'd sacrifice myself to be everyone else's inspiration if only it would work out that way. But remember this whisper in the wind can be heard tomorow when tomorrow becomes today. Is this just a passing of time for me. To change my world around. If it is then why can't I ever see. Why must my world come crumblin' to the ground? If I could leave to another land. This world Depression would end where last I stand. Say Goodbye

-Kenny Kopf

Punishment Folding his hands in his lap. Staring at the wall, paint crumbles to the floor. Reliving bitter scenes of nights in his cell. Bumps, bruises, cuts, breaks, Knives, bats, guns. Dreaming of a world beyond barb-wired barriers. Poor victims lives lost forever his too. Door slides open. Last steps of life. A place awaits below. Tears of rcmorse ? Tears of fear ? Final breath It's over. Darkness.

-Amy Cropsey

I need you to help me.

Buddy Buddy, where are you? When are you coming home? You told me you'd be back; Said you'd never leave me alone. So why aren't you here? I miss you, Buddy. I need you. Therâ&#x201A;Ź's so much I need to tell you. I know you'd understand The things I can't handle. You'd take my hand And pull me through. But where are you now? You're not with me. Please, Buddy, please come home.

I'm waiting, Buddy. We all are. They're so scared Scared you've gone forever. But I know, I know you're coming home. You promised me, And I believe in you. I know you won't let me down. You're all I've got So please come home, Buddy, Please hurry. I need you. Buddy,I'm

so scared.

They told me today That you were gone; Said you'd left me forever, And that you weren't coming home. When I asked why, They told me It was suicide. But, I know, Buddy, I know it's a lie. You promised me you'd be back, And I know you won't let me down. I need you.

So please come home, Buddy. Please hurry.

Buddy,I need to talk to you. I'm so scared! I saw something today That I'11never forget. Buddy, I saw YOU. You were in that beg room With flowers all around; Music playrng softly, And that tenible smell. I don't know what it was, But even the flowers Couldn't hide it. You were in that boxSort of like a bed. Why wouldn't you move? I touched your hand; So cold, dry. I jumped away; So scared. Why didn't you touch me back? I wanted to sit with you; To hold you forever. But you didn't want me. You didn't reach for me Or kiss my cheek. Please, Buddy, I don't understand. Are you sick?

I'm here, Buddy. But where are you You're there, But you're not. I need to talk to you, Buddy. I'm

scared.

They keep telling me you're gone Forever. But I know, still. You'râ&#x201A;Ź coming back home. Remember? You promised me.

Buddy,I'm back. I saw you again today. I think it was you. You wouldn't talk to nre; Wouldn't look at me. I held your hand. It hurt so bad On ttre inside.

Buddy, they don't believe. They say it was you; Your fault, You chose to leave. You were scared; upset. Me too, Buddy. But it'll be OK. I believc in you.

I wanted to let go; Scream, cry.

But I knew you needed me By your side. I would've held your hand forever; Make you well again. But they wouldn't let me; Said I had to leave. I'm sorry, Buddy. I didn't want to go. Buddy, they took you away And put you in the ground In that long black box. They covered you up. I prayed for you. We all did. It didn't help. You didn't come back. I guess it's true. You're not coming home, are you? You're gone. You left me. I still love you, Buddy. Buddy, it's not true. It wasn't suicide. I know; I still believe in you. Who did it to you, Buddy? Who took you away from me?

whv? Tell me, please. I miss you, Buddy. I need you. I want you to come home. I love you.

Buddy, please tell me the tnrth. I have to know. Did you choose to go?

whv? What did I do unong? I'm so sorry, Buddy. I didn't mean to hurt you. I love you. Buddy, I know now. I don't believe in you. You chose. You wanted to leave. You left me all alone After you promised me! You said you'd be home! You lied to me. Why, Buddy?

Buddy,I'm here. I'm here for you. Don't worry. I won't leave you. I'll stay with you forever. In my heart, that is. I'll live for you. Since you can't be here. I'm sorry you won't be with me To hold my hand. But I love you, And I won't give up. I promise. -Kathryne Parker

Kerry: I guess I'm just tired.

Consequences Characters:

Psy.: Now Kerry, you don't have to hide from me. I'm here to help you.

Kerry: Really. I'm fine. Wednesday is proba-

She plays a teenage girl problems with drugs, alcohol, her who has family, and the law.

Kerry: Main character.

Nicky: Nicky is a friend of Kerry's who is a high school drop-out. She is an alcoholic and a drug addict. Psychiatrist @sy.): Plays Kerry's psychiatrist.

SCENE ONE Psy.: Psychiatrist office, may I help you?

Kerry: (hesitantly) Uh, Doc? This is Kerry. Do you have a minute?

Psy.: Kerry, hi! Of course,I always have a minute for my patients! What's wrong?

Kerry: It's about our next session. Psy.: Yes, tonight (pause to open notebook)...7:00, right?

bly bener anyway. By the middle of the week, school kinda gets me down. Psy.: How has school been going, anyway?

Kerry: School ? Well,let's just say homework isn't on the top of my list. So many other things are nrore important than some math assignment.

Psy.: I talked with you teachers. From what they said it sounds like you've handled your work just fine! None of your grades are below average. I'm really proud of your progress.

Kerry: Thanks. I'm starting to get into the swing of things again. School's school. Guess I liked about rehab is that I got a break from homework, and these teachers who all think one assignment's gonna make you or break you. the only things

Psy.: Well, again, it's good to see how well you've done. I can see why meeting during the school week might help, but I can't forget about last week. To be able to help you, I'm afraid I'm going to have to put my foot down somewhere.

Kerry: Well, do you think we could meet next Wednesday night, instead?

Kerry:

Psy.: Any particular reason?

Psy.: Let's at least discuss going to be unreasonable.

Kerry: I'd

rather just spend some time alone.

Psy.: If something is bothering you, maybe you should at least try talking to me about ir

Kerry: It's nothin' important. Psy.: Everything you say is important to me.

So what you're saying is no, right?

it. I didn't say I was

Kerry: What's the use? I screw up one time and suddenly I'm labeled the 'cardinal sinner' by anyone who has their say-so in my 'well-being' and 'privileges'.

Psy.: Believe me. I am capable of forgiving. I wasn't, I would have lost this job long ago.

Kerry:

So, ya gonna lend me out some of that

forgiveness

now?

Psy.: I-et's just talk it

Kerry: (sarcastically): Okay, you'râ&#x201A;Ź right.

over.

Kerry: What's to say? Whatever you say goes. It's been like ttrat for as long as I can remember. Psy.: I didn't know you felt that way about me. I always thought I was pretty fair.

Hangin' out with my friends in town is going to ruin my future. You're staning to sound as bad as my teachers in school, with all their precious homework assignments. Psy.: Maybe so, but I'll only let you if you gwe me yotu word that you won't pull a stunt on my like that again.

Kerry: I'm sorry. It's not you, I meant every- Kerry: Okay. one. My dad, the police, probation officers,

doctors, teachers, everyone! Except my friends. Psy.: Promisc? Heck, I can't even go talk to one of them without Kerry: Sure. And thanks, Doc. See you someone checking out their Wednesday. Psy.: Okay. If you think you're responsible Psy.: Bye, Kerry. enough to choose who you hang around you're free to go out with a friend. Just be SCENE TWO Kerry: (knock on door, Nicky turns off music and answers door) Nicky! I can't believe this! Kerry: Really? I can't believe someone It's bcen so long since I've seen you! finally lctting me off the hook. I thought only existed in the dreamland of gootl tinle girls Nicky: Hey gul! Good to see ya again. How's and

background. with,

careful.

is that

boys.

it goin'?

Psy.: I'm still a little bit skeptical. We had an agreement that we would meet on Friday nights. Kerry: Wel[, that's why I'm here. I really needed to talk to someone. The last time we changed the schedule, you broke the rules.

Nicky: Hey, man. That's what I'm Kerry: That doesn't mean

I'll

here for.

break them again.

Kerry: You aren't in a hurry to be somewherc,

are you? Psy.: You shouldn't have b,rroken them in the first place. Maybe I should remind you of what the punishment will be if you're caught sneaking Nicky: Are you kiddin' girl? I ain't goua be nowhere. Life's easy when you're livin' on your out with your friends to parts of ttre town you own. have no business hanging out at.

Kerry: No. I already know all too well

consequences.

about

Psy.: We won't hesitate to inflict the penalty on you. We do have your best interest in mind. Pulling a stunt again like you did last night could ruin your life.

Kerry: (says this as they walk to sit on bed) Don't ya have a job to pay for this place? Nicky: Natr, get this! I live wittr this hunk named Tom. He gets me whatever I need. He's got more loot on him than any guy I ever thought I'd get lucky enough to go out with.

Kerry:

So where is this

Kerry: Well, yeah, now I do. I used to just get pot from a different guy.

'hunk'?

Nicky: Out rollin' in the dough.

Nicky: Torn

I thought ya said ya bought from

So, where's he workin'? If it pays as much as it sounds,I think I'll apply tomorrow! Kerry: Nah, not for me. I got my dad his stuff from Tom. Nicky: That's the cool part. I don't think it's open for applications, Nicky: Oh, him. I was hopin' he wasn't still around. Kerry: So, don't keep me in suspense. Kerry: Unfornrnately, he is. Nicky: Well, just promise you won't tell anyone, Nicky: so why do you buy for the creep? ya haven't forgiven him for....you know. Kerry: Yeah, sure, go ahead. You know you can trust Kerry: You can say it. Sexual abuse. Are you kiddin'? I hate him! Ever since mom died, he Nicky: Okay. You ever heard about 'The Street hasn't kept his hands off me.

Kerry:

though.

alright? me.

Man'?

Kerry: You kiddin'me? I used to buy from every week! Don't tell me that's him!

him

Nicky: As if it wasn't enough Kerry: Yeah, but

Nicky:

the creep had to

beat up on you, too. have you noticed?

Sure is!

Nicky: What? Kerry: Wow! Kerry: No bruises! Nicky: I guess you haven't rehab,

huh?

been back since

Nicky: what'd you do? Turn him in? If ya did, and they're still lettin' ya stay with with him,

Kerry: You mean ya really think those places somethins wrong. work? Get real. Kerry: No. I ain't told no one but you. Nicky: So, ya still using? Nicky: You should. He deserves to be behind Kerry: Yeah. In fact,I saw your'hunk'last bars! Friday.

Kerry: That's what I'm afraid of. Nicky: Isn't

he great?

Kerry: Uh-huh. You're lucky. Bet you get your

Nicky: Afraid of? Oh, I get it. Ya don't think jail's good enough. As far as I'm concerned, he

coke for

deserves to rot in hell.

free.

Nicky: Every time. You use the stuff?

Kerry: Yeah,I can't argue with ttrat, but there's other reasons I don't want him goin' to jail.

Nicky: Like what? Kerry: Well, first of all,I'd have to leave my friends and go live in foster homes. And ain't no adult thats ever gonna love me, and I ain't gonna love ttrem either. I'd just end up on the street again, and if they ever found me they'd send me straight to YRS. Juvie jail ain't for me. I ain't gonna be the one who serves tims 'cause of my father's crimes. It's his fault.

started buyin' a long time ago, it was cause I was so scared of him. But now that I been locked up for a year, I feel like I been to Hell and back. I told Dad I really didn't care if he killed me, cause I didn't have nothin' to live for.

Nicky: I'm surprised he didn't kill you.

him.

Kerry: Yeah, well, he was too smart for that. He played Mster Nice Guy and supplied me drugs for free. I thought he was just scared I'd turn him in. Once I was hooked, he stopped supplying. So I said I'd agree to buy for both of us if he paid. He said, "Sure, but I better get my share of it things is gonna be the way it used to be." I guess he meant he'd go back to abusing me sexually. He can't hit me or my psychiatrist will want to know what the bruises are from.

Nicky: You'râ&#x201A;Ź right. I wouldn't put it past him. I trust him about as far as I can thrcw him.

Nicky: You're lucky. I'm surprised he stopped messin' with you. He should have known that

Nicky: Maybe you could leam to stick it out. Kerry: Nah, I wouldn't stay in foster home even if I liked it there. Minute Dad gets on probation he'd come after me. hobably kill me. I know

once you were hooked, you'd go get more - no

Kerry: Now you know why I haven't told

matter what.

anyone.

Kerry: Well, Nicky: Looks like you're gonna be here awhile. Want a beer? Kerry: Just 'a' beer? The way I feel,I doubt a whole six pack would help.

he thinks I'm only hooked on pot. That's what he got me takin' before I started

buyrng. (Opens another beer) But it's so risky to buy with my psychiatrists watching every move I make ttrat I don't go to the other dude anymore. I just got it all at once, frrom....what'd ya say his name was?

Nicky: Hey, man,I got a whole carton. (Pulls beer carton out from under the bed.) Help

Nicky: Tom. Hey, is that stuff gettin' to ya

yourself.

already? (Nicky opens another beer)

Kerry: Thanks. (Grabs a beer)

Kerry: (Drinks

Nicky: So, when ya gonna explain why ya don't have any bruises, and why ya been buyin' for your dad? (Nicky opens a beer)

rest of beer in can in one drink) Hope so, the story gets worse. (Opens another beer) I only gone once to buy. I only know where Tom's corner is on Friday. Does he change places every day?

Kerry: Well, Dad gets me money for my drugs.

Nicky: Yeah, he's real careful. Got

Said the money would always be there as long as

outs. One for every day of the week. @nishes beer) Hey, hand me another one.

I would go buy his for him. A friend of his got caught, he don't take any more chances. Of course, he was afraid I would turn him in now that I have a psychiatrist and all. When I first

Kerry:

seven hang-

(Gets Nicky a beer) Can ya tell me he is on the other days? My psychiatrist where

is getting suspicious. This is probably the last Friday he'll let me off.

Nicky: Hey, why don't I go with ya tonight? Tom can tell ya about his other corners.

Kerry: Yeah, but we gotta

be careful. They

followed me last week. They didn't catch me buyin', though.

Nicky: They followed you? Kerry: Yeah,I forgot to call by, well, whenever it was, I can't remember. Maybe if I keep drinkin' ttris stuff I'll forget everything. Cfakes another can)

Nicky: If we

get caught,

I'll just say he's my

boyfriend. be okay. He said I could go out with a friend tonight. I'[ just say we drove out to get fries or somethin'.

Kerry: Okay. I think it'll

Nicky: Ya mean fried! (Ihey both laugh)

me everything.

Kerry: Ya gonna send me to YRS now? It doesn't matter. Nothing matters. All I can think about is Nicky. Why, Why? Why couldn't it have been me? She had everything goin' for her?

Psy.: No she didn't. It was just a matter of time. She was slowly killipg herself everytime she uscd cocaine. I'm glad I know you've been using, too. I can help you now. And no one will send you to YRS. I promise you that. The way I see it, you arc a victim of your father's crimes. In time I hope you will realized that, too.

Kerry: I'm

so scaredof him!

Psy.: He'll never hurt you again. I won't let that happen. And your father won't get out on probation. He's guilty of assault, sexual abuse, and illegal drug use. We'll get him locked up for good one way or another.

Kerry: A.ll I want is Nicky back.

Kerry: I-et's go! (Gets up, falls on floor)

Nicky: Hey, ya better let me drive. Kerry: Yeah, okay. I've

had a

little more than

you.

Nicky: (Gets up and runs into the wall) Well, maybe not much more. Looks like we're both goners! I can handle it, as long as I have one more for the road! I do better drivin' when I'm plastered. Guess cause it's harder to get hit when you're drivin'on the sidewalk! (Both laugh, grab trvo beers, and leave stage.)

Psy.: I wish I could promise you that as well. It will be hard for you to accept her death, but I will do everything I can to help you.

Kerry: Can you just hold my is that not a part ofyourjob?

hand for now? Or

Psy.: I'll hold your hand every step of the way. (Hold Kerry's hand)

T}IE END

Whitney Dean SCENE THREE Sound, car crash, ambulance. Kerry in hospital bed, crying. Psychiatrist is chair by bed.

Psy.: Kerry, I know this was hard for you to tell

Photograph by Jennifer Elder

BOOTES

HI.]MOR, LIGHT 57

Tanka NorthwestHigh The day starts early Lockers slarrrming in anger, Sweet smell of cologne Everyone in a hurry To earn their beloved grades. -fason Miller

t'ttaa.-

ffi*r

/'"t'' u-

,',

6;..-'

Drawing by Kim McMinimy

It was the eighth day of our nine day vacaI-ater, as we were eating supper, Grandpa tion in Colorado. Well, in Steph's case, it would Lynch and Dad were trying to convince Steph be better classified as a "trip" rather than a and I that there were bean that lived there and vacation. Trip she did, over everything with a came out at nighnimc. Of coune, we didn't size ranging from a piece of lint to a small believe them - at least not yet. But later that elephant. Tentpoles, gritls, dogs, cats, picnic night, as Steph and I wene coming back from an tables, ftes, horses, rccks, and her own feet old theater we found, they had us convinced. were a few arnong the many ttrings on her list. jumped out from the nees and nearly gave It's a good thing we weren't near a football field They us cardiac anest. We screamed, but Steph or she probably would have ripped over the couldn't just stop there and leave it at that. She chalk. But I have ro say that of all the things had to take it one step (or shall we say stumble) Stephanie has ever tripped over, this one certain funher and tripped over the pipe again...and incident sticks out in my mind. again, and again! After about five minutes of We had just left the Sand Dunes and were tripprng, stumbling, grabbing, and screaming, looking for a campground to stay in the nighr she finally bit it. AU the way down she chanted, We had been gone frrom Wichita eight days and "I knew it, I knew it!" had traveled around from place to place in The next morning started out pretty good, until Colorado, so just about every night we stayed in Steph got up. Even though the doorof the tent a different campground. was about five feet away from thr prp", within We finally found a state park. Let me rephrase seconds of climbing out of bed, she was on her that, an abandoned state park to set camp in. We face again. had a choice of any campsite as far as the eye I never will forget that pipe, and for as long as could see, and Dad just had to pick the one with I live, Stephanie won't forget it either. the pipe. As soon as the motorhome was backed into a Angy Sunderman small clearing surrounded by a group of trees, Steph and I set out to explore. We went around to the back of the motorhome, and then it happened. Steph discovered the pipe for the first time, but certainly not the last. After a little stumbling she finally regained her balance. Dad came out and told us to set up our tent, so we headed for the motorhome. At least I did, while Steph rediscovered the pipe. Her next encounter carne as we were putting up the tent. I was on the opposite side of Steft and the pipe. I should have known better than to let her go alone, but I didn't. I heard a shriek and then a "thud", so I hurried over to see what had happened. I discovercd Stephanie flat on her butt by the pipe. That made trip number three in about one hour time period. This could turn out to be a very long night.

Kansas - really really quite funny, Weather in Kansas is One day it's snowing, and the next it's sunny. It is hard to predict from day to day, Whether the sky will be clear or very gray. Sometimes I sit still and quietly wonder Why I choose to live where there's often rain and thunder.

But later, I am no longer full of sorrow, Because I know it will be different tomorrow.

Living in Kansas is weird of coune, It's almost like riding on a horse. s

has

it's

u , it has it's d o

And produces lots of smiles and frowns. To me, Kansas has a lot to give, And there's really no place I'd rather live. -Debby Fyler

The Talk Show

Randy: (Softly and looking down to the ground) Uh...Three hundred and forry two.

Characters:

Woody: Thrce hundred and forty two....And

Woody Goody-Goody: Talk show host

how do you feel about that, Randy?

Cindy-lou: Compulsive gum chewer. (Cheerleader-type)

Randy: (Angnly) I'm real absent-minded, okay?!!

Randy: Book-loser. Average boy.

Woody: (Matter-of-factly): Randy, we

are

talking about three hundred and forty-t'wo books.

Bobby: Obsessed with getting to class on time. @ven

if itkills him).

Randy: Yeatr.....Well......

Woman: Memberof the audience.

Woody: (Condescendingly) Thar's what I thought. Now,let's talk to Bobby. Bobby, now

Setting: 1940's-A talk show seL The stage should have three chairs.

your addiction was....

Woody: (very seriously) Hello, it's your good friend Woody Goody-Goody. And today we examine the destnrction of youth. On our panel today we have three teenagers who have been down the road to ruin and have come back. Cindy-Lou, compulsive gum chewer, Randy loses text books, and lastly, Bobby, (becomes very sad and choked up) who runs down the halls. Yes!! He ran down the halls. But let's start with Cindy-Lou. Cindy, how did this awful habit start?

Cindy: Well, first it was half a piece of gum. My friend said that if I just kept it under my tongue, the teacher wouldn't see it. I guess I...I got a thrill off it. (Starts to get a crazy look in her eyes.) Soon, I was up to three. packs a day. I couldn't stop! (Almost yelling) All I could do was chew and chew and chew!!! (Starts to cry loudly and stands up.)

Bobby: I would run down....the halls. (On the verge of crying) Woody: (Sensitively) Bobby, what sparked this? What demon inside of you made you do this?

Bobby: (Becomes neryous and upset) Well,I had already been late to Mrs. Dean's third hour history class two times. She warned me that if I was late again, she would send me to the office. So, when nobody was looking, I ran, and was on time. Soon,I became obsessed with running to each class so I could be the first one there. It...it just got out of contnol. @egins to cry very hard) Woody: (Comforting Bobby) That's it. Let it all out. (Turns to audience and acts like he is wiping away a tear) Now, let's go out into the audience for some questions. (Points microphone to a woman in the front row) Woman: (Smacking gum obnoxiously) Yeah....uh....Cindy-Lou.....

Woody: Cindy baby, get a hold of yourself. (Sets her down) Next is Randy. Now Randy,

Woody: (Intemrpting the woman) That's

exactly how many books have you lost?

not....gum is it?!?!

Woman: Why, yes it is. Anyway, Cindy....

Cindy: (Screaming) Gum!! (Cindy-Loujumps out into the audience and proceeds to grab and choke the woman) Gum!!! Gum!!! Gum!!! (Woody pushes the girls out of his way, smiles, turns to the camera)

Woody: Join us tomorrow when we look at Howdy-Doody. The comedian, the man, the puppet. -Anna Vaught

Photograph by Jennifer Elder

PISCES

-;;r-ra5#-

LOVE an d LOSS 63

I'll Always Love You... So much time, so many words and fights, So many moments that we've shared, So much affection, so much laughter,

So many tears we've cried, How many times we've smiled! so much happiness altogether, But also a lot of pain. More than anything we've shared... So much love.

We've been through so much together, Because we've had each other.

On This Day

Exchange so many words, Some

full of love, others full of bitterness.

Fights? Yes, we've had some fights, Because we are two different people, Two individuals. A word of encouragement, All examples of our affection for each other. We've learned so much from each other, With each other, about each other... We've shared happy and sad times, Laughter and tears, Times of elation, times of disappointment, We've even hurt each other deeply at times. But we've made each other's life so happy. We have so many reasons to be happy together. And deep down inside our hearts we have always known, That we belong together, to each other... And that makes me happy, Because no matter what ever happens... I'll always love you. Forever...

-Kandi Ludwig

On ttris day a part of me died Deprived of being side by side. I feel so much pain, Who is to blame? The breaking of my heart is the only sound. Will we discover the love we had found? -Sara

Kirkparick

Our Memories Time has passed it--slipped away holding memories ofyesterday Times when I could hold you tight it's now saved in memories of night Late in evenings it remains trapped but the memory is neatly wrapped

In My Heart Knowing you has brightened my life in ways you will neverknow; my heart has locked up our memories, I will never let them go. Miles may someday separate us and our futures may lead us apartthough you may not be standing right next to methere you'll be in my heart. -Janet

When I'm alone and missing you I open the gifts of times Iknew

gifts you gave tome tohold the memories inside never grow old

McKinley together someday we'll open the gifts and as the lid we gently lift

We'll look back on times we've shared times when we really cared

And seeing how beautiful they are how they shine like a star

We'll

begrn

to re-live them

-Whitney Dean

Free Verse The young girl sPoke up...up to the blue skY. As she stood in the meadow of yellow flowers, that flushed the countryside. There was a great passion in her that drove her insane as she cried out,

out to her one tnre love the man that came like a thief in the night. He had stolen her heart but had crushed it too. When he left, she screamed an endless Prayer for him to return, and be with her. The deep passion inside her was driving her to continue her search;

for her Father. Her one true love. -Jason Beckmann

Surviving I asked myself, what would I do if you ever left me? and I replied "suryive" but when that daY came for you to leave...

My heart began to break into a thousand Pieces, and tears began to fill mY eyes... And it seemed like mY life was falling aPart bit bY bit I soon began to think back to what I said and soon realized I lied to mYself, and couldn't " survive"..... As I sat days in and daYs out trying to overcome loneliness I asked mYself again what would I do if You left me and I replied "take it one day at a time." -Rashanda O'Neal

A rose is the flower of the heart, A different color for each feeling. So look upon this bright circle, Five roses sitting prettily.

Pink is young and fresh, A new feeling, First love, Remembrance forever.

White is a pure color, Innocence and hope. Pristine perfection, Happiness forever.

Red is hot to the core, Burning your very soul. Forbidden passions, Lust forever.

Yellow is a strong color, True to the very end. Friendship everlasting, Together forever.

Black causes you pain, Disease, pestilence. Famine abounds, Death forever. -James Abraham

Drawing by Kim Knitig

His Uands nest His hands rest uPon my back his fingers start to move. In a deliberate fashion, there's something he will Prove. I say the letters in mY head, the message is coming through. A simPle period ends the letters...

r-L-O-V-E-Y-O-U. - Stacey Fundaburk

To: Amy C.R. [,ost is what I get when I feel your soft lips touching mine.

I'm Lost in you,

for those few seconds until it's that time. The time to wake-uP from that dream and especially reat:ze.

You and Me The day I met you Was the start of something true. I know it's meant to be, United, you and me. Never distant, alwaYs together, Our love will last forever.

How much it all means to me as I look into your beautiful

eYes.

.IKE -Sara

Kirkpauick

A Poet's Distress To love someone the way I love him is to completely give all of yourself to that person to fill yourself full of their love And suddenly words lose meaning so that no poem is complete which is not so good if you arc a poet and you depend on those words but it is good for me for I am no longer a poet I depend on him not words and together we write with our love the rnost beautiful poem ever known.

Feelings are meant to be Spoken I know I don't see you that often And I know I'm not always there. But it doesn't mean I don't love you, And it doesn't rrean I don't care.

I thank you for your kindness And I thank you for your love fike the spirit symbol from heaven you'rc my guidance, you'n9 my dove.

I'm really sorry for not being around as often as I should. And acting uninterested, that I'm sorry for, too. What I'm getting at needs to be said more often. What I'm telling you about is that I love you I really do. -Stacey Jones

-Whitney Dean

Brown Eyes

Confused Too sad to

smile

too happy to

cry.

Too dead to

live die.

too youns to

Too hot to

freeze

too cold to

melt.

Too numb to

feel

the feelings

felt.

Too high to

walk

too row to

ny.

Too scared to too proud to

love

cry.

Confused when

Brown eyes Never cry powerfrrr arms that crush our hearts together Will you please can you please Stay with me forever?

I^'::t^:*:-" Jomeone taKe Promises in the night Can't be HonestlY free Holding each other tight. Hearts bind Love is blind watching two become one Birds sing A star careens The moon tums into sun.

il:lf,'non-:J.,, over bodys' sleeping peace Brown eyes

+I*"r:?41,r.

you

-Renee

tore my world apart and tossed aside

my broken heart. -Janet

McKinley

A Question... What's to happen When your heart gets shattered By someone you love and trust And of the few who ever mattered? -Stacey Jones

Once Upon A Time Once upon a time We meant the world to each other, Now we mean a lost friendship.

Is it Possible?

time forever, ended.

Once upon a We were friends Forever has

time

Once upon a We would have never let each other Now we're both

falling.

down,

time together, alone.

Once upon a We were always We now walk

time

Once upon a We could talk without Now we turn to someone else.

regret,

Is it possible to love more than once? This is the one question I grve much heed. Walking along the beach, I saw the dove, And knew he held the answers which I need. Wanting to ask him a thousand questions, But knowing that I would not understand, The complex answers to what life destines. I simply sat and pondered in the sand. I sat and watched him prepare for flight, And pleaded inside for him to help me Please don't leave me all alone in this plight, For I don't know the answers, don't you see? As he left I saw his eyes full of love, Telling me to find the answers above.

-At Once upon a time Our friendship meant love and trust, But, like the time, things have changed. -Sara Kirkpatrick

Paradise We walk by the beach, the water so calm, It seems like a miror to reflect the peace. The trees are silent, the sunset w[um, We hope this feeling will never cease. the clouds in the sky, pink and white, Blanket the sun as a knitted quilt.

The sun, as it sets, will hide in shame, In its descent to remorse and guilt.

But yet, it seems to beckon us on, Calling us to our background. It seems right now our love is real In this paradise we have found.

-Angy Sunderman

-Photograph by Christa Young

't2

Don't Break My Heart Lovg is.... Love is a very valuable thing to see. It is the most important thing we find. Love is something you can't get with money. You must acquire and feel it inside. There are many types of love that we b,ring Some arc love for nature and love for life. Being loved is a very great feeling. Everybody can be loved, it is so nice There's no grcater love than for a friend Without love, people would not be happy Love and hate are two very different tnends. You live your whole life with love around thee Without love, we would not be like we are Without love, the world would not be as far. - Chad Bailey

Don't b,reak my heart you said to me once. you shattered mine with one single touch.

It only took a second. for her to ake my place while for hours all I'd do is think of the beauty of your face. My whole world changed in only a few minutes I couldn't cry, I couldn't move I'm surprised I had the courage to get through it. I thought it was love, but when someone loves you they wouldn't put you through the pain that you put me through

- Stacey Jones

Running I'm running out of

excuses

I always make for you. I'm running out of patience for all the things you do.

I'm running out of

reasons

Memory I have so much inside of me. I may have caused you pain, But you did the same to me. I'm a memory in the minds and hearts, Of those who care about me, And I'll watch over you, To make sure your lives Are happier than mine. -Sara Kirkpatrick

to want you next to me.

And I'm running very fast from your haunting memory. -Janet

McKinley

{ii@

Photograph by Rosalie Breth

MILKYWAY

ANYTHING GOES 75

Karen Valcon huniedlY shut the fumbled with the safety locks. Glancing over her shoulder at Johnson, she murered under her breath, "good to be home." She nervously looked out the kitchen window but the car was gone. Would he return she wondered? She proceeded to fix henelf a hot cup of coffec and sat down on the living room sofa comfortably to review the day's latest events. Though hardly unusual, the feeling of constantly being watched always made her think t'wice before leaving the house. This was April and in February she had been given quite a scare by a stranger who she was quite sure had intended to do her harm. She had been minding her own business one Monday evening on the way home ftom the super market when a man began to follow her closely in a beat up old car. Fully aware that her drive way was long and dark, leading to the warrn country house away from the line of traffic, Karen was afraid she might be in real danger. She looked around desperately and seeing no one, acted as though she didn't notice he was following her. As she reached the drive a basic plan was in her mind. She would drop the groceries and sprint for the safety of her house; by this time Karen was so scared that she couldn't bear to think what would happen if she didn't make it. Bust as Karen reached the dark drive, things got off to a bad start. The man parked his car and began to open the door. Karen remembered being so frightened that when she dropped the groceries, she got tangled up in her purse and screamed terrified as the man got completely out of his car. She began running hysterically and screaming as she desperately tried to reach the door of the house and safety. Karen was aware of the man chasing her and she was now sure of his motives. The distance to the house seemed infinite and Karen wasisure she would not make it, however she kept running. Now the man was only a breath away and was nearly upon her, she would have been caught had he not fallen into thc gopher hole. She reached

the door safely and prepared to get her keys from her purse. She almost had a heart attack, she had dropped her purse at the entrance! Karen,

trembling with fear, knew she must rehrrn through thc darkness to get her keys. Without keys, she could not get safely indoors. She cautiously srept back to the drive way entrance by a less obvious path. She passed by the spot on her way where her pursuer had fallen, there was no trace of anyone there. Where had he gone? Maybe he had left. Then again, Karen had a feeling that he was someplace around still. Sure enough when Karen returned to her purse and abandoned groceries the car was still there. On the way back to the house, Karen clept along on yet another loute, hoping that this would confuse the man, not knowing where she was. Ten feet from the house and almost home-free, she heard the unmistakable noise of branches on the bushes cracking, she glanced behind her to discover the stranger charging at her. His rough hand stifled her screarn as it reached her lips. She began to go crazy with horror and started clawing and biting, kicking and hitting. In the midst of her commotion, she kicked him in his stomach with her foor. The attacker doubled over and fell to the ground. She managed to release herself from his iron grip and fumbled with the door lock momentarily before she was inside shaking and weeping. She discovered that her phone line had been clipped and so she locked all the doors and windows then proceeded to pass the night jumping at every creek of the house.

The next morning, the car had been gone and Karen had simply stayed inside allday. The next day, she had bought small lamps to adorn the drive way with, ttrat way it would not be so dark.

Afterwards the days seemed to go bY unevenfully, although Karen was no very paranoid and was quite jumpy. Since she was not married and did not get out much, Karen found herself talking to her porcelain pit bull, Johnson, that she had been given by her father

on the 16th birthday. He would sit there in the window seat and listen to her talk. She always felt better after she told him how scared she had been and how helpless she had felt. She often sat looking out the bay window and stroked his smooth back. Johnson was a carmel b,rown color and he had deep coal black eyes with thick painted on lashes. He was close to life sized and was in a standing position looking proud and always guarding his mistness. There was an inscription on the underside of his right paw. It was from her father and it said "To watch over my beloved in her time of need." Karen read the inscription a lot and it always seerned to put her fluttering soul at peace. Then one afternoon, Karen saw the old beat-up car parked about half way between her house and the market and was careful to take a different route home. Later that same day, after dark, the man returned. Karen was as afraid as she had been on the night in February. She tried to think as she heard the back doorknob being rattled wildly, and clied for some help. The dog, standing there so calmly, cleared her mind. Karen sneaked over to the door and threw the back porch flood light on. The man took flight and hurdled bushes in his escape, very obviously not wanting to be indentified under a light. Karen moved Johnson ino her bedroom and placed him on guard by her night stand. She fell asleep, exhausted from the terrible experience. Although she was positive the man would bother her no more, Karen invested morc money into her security and bought an extrea dead bolt for each door. Two nights later however, the man returned with steel determination. Karen had been reading in the living room easy chair, gazing at Johnson every so often, and feeling rather light hearted when she heard a loud crash in one of the bedrooms. A wild looking thin man, possibly about thirty, came leaping into the room, his eyes bright with excitement. Karen opened her mouth to scream but her throat tightened and she just sat there petrified. The man v/asted little time and within seconds was upon her. Hurling

insults as he fought her defenses, Karen disgustingly knew that this man would stop at absolutely nothing and it sickened her. By this time her mind began to block out the pain and fear and she edged toward unconciousness. All of a sudden from nowhere, a dog was growling and leaping at the man. The dog got a firm hold on the man's throat and held on dispite his thrashing until at last the man lay still. Karen all tangled up in ttre dead man's repulsive body, crawled up to the sofa bawling. She sat there for at least an hour, rnayb longer, before finally pulling herself together. She had not been hurt besides a few bruises and an enormous scare. She looked around the upset room and her gaze fell upon the spot where Johnson had been standing but there was no Johnson. Then her eyes focused on a cannel bnown pit bult in the corner licking it's front left paw. There was blood on the floor surrounding the injury. Without warning, the dog hurridly got to it's feet and ran back to one of the bedrooms, limping a little. After a while when it did not return Karen got up and walkod back to the bedroom with the broken window. The dog had left. Karen called the police and they came to get the body, and when asked where the dog came from or where it left to, Karen just said she didn't know. The next day when Karcn woke up, she entered ttie living room to get her book to read, and there stood Johnson in his regular position at guard. One change in his appearance was his raised left paw, as if it had been injured.

Mindy Murrow

Tips to Make Life Understandable

Seasons Life is like the

seasons...

In the spring, Innocence abounds. You breathe, The sweet air of life. The summerof youth, Burning passions. Fires of love, Fill your heart- soul.

In the fall of loss, Old age comes. You pass on, To the final season. The winter, cold and bleak, The dying years. Your life ends, Peace is found. -James Abraham

Don't worry about past o,r future workwith whatis here not absent.

Live things instead

just imagining them feel and experience. Express feelings rather than justifY don't judge those of others. Open yourself to pain as well as pleasure and never say should. But be responsible for your own actions, thoughts, and feelings. Break down and be kind for you only live once. - Lisa Snider

Realization I feel I am losing contnol, going beyond the Vanishing Point. I know now I rlm not the controller, I arn the controlled. Ieked and chained forced to make a decision Should I die? or Should I live? could it be that it is a trick Ponder

question?

ponder. ponder. Pon-

The rain slowly falls As it rolls down the window.... I too, start to cry

Does it really matter? Perhaps life is a but from who? Some tell me "God" Some tell me the "big bang" I feel it is all irrelevant. We have it - so why spend it wondering why?

gift.

- Brad Mendenhall

Haiku

-Dana Brown

Time... now I'm not a Poot' and my words may neverrhYme but what I am about to say is full of my never ending time Time that is endeavoring with may thoughts that are too combined with reality and fantasy that are still jumbled in time. - Anonymous

The Clock's Second Hand As I class on a warm afternoon. I1 is currently 1:58 p'm' for the bell to ring,I notice at exactly wait patiently, in the ttrird row from the door in the last seat trap like mice do and is trying to get 2:00 p.m., the second hand starrs to act like it got caught in a orforty seconds has free. It stops on the nine and tries o make it to ttre ten. FinallY, after thirty go on and dies. But the big hand still gone by, thi second hand stops as if it gave up its will to reaches the five, and the bell starts to ring, makes its rounds as a clock should. once ttre uig hand force and moves like it was just waiting to be the second hand acts like it was set free by an invisible in its own way to function in life' revived of life. This goes to show that everything was or is alive

I am sitting in my sixth hourEnglish II

- Stephanie Davis

Mask false front always smiling always happy don't let anyone know the truth secrets hurt,pain, anguish Help talking listening finally, someone to listen

ME -Heidi Turner

Photograph by Christa Young

Mv Life My life is sand glistening in the

sun. Running along the walks chasing sea gulls, Collecting seashells as if I were young.

Watching kids fly as the salt wind blows. As I squeerowet sand benveen my toes,I L.ook at the surfers riding the rough waves. The fast motor boats, I see, speed on by And make waves crash on the rocks near the cave.

The sky gets dark right before a stonn I can feel the air change to a crisp wind. As the sweet smell of rain comes to the shore, My love and I sit sipping the rich wine. We hear the loud thunder boss the sweet rain, As lightening srikes the water with pain. -Lisa Snider

Night Night, deep and dark, It is home to me. I shun the day, For I fear the light. The cold comforts me, Rushing through my soul. My heart freeezes, Alone with the nighr The night is my only love, For it alone is tnrc. Close to my heart it stays, For an eternity. -James Abraham

Breather Everything in motion. Stop! Nothing complies. Stop! Useless word. Everything in motion. Running out of breath. Running... ... always running. People tell me to sniffuseless advice.

It is frightening when a person realizes that the motion will never cease but going for eternity. If you stopyou are lost, Eventually Forgotten. - Brad Mendenhall

Photograph by Rosalie Breth

The climb to the toP Was steadY'and slow. Full ofexcssses TV screens aglow.

First a crack then a crumble, A voice so disuaught From the Past she aPPeared And could never be bought' The followers were stunned By this tumble from grace' The judge signed the PaPers On his dreary new Place'

Tammy still mourns The sinner behind the wall, For the bigger theY are The harder theY fall. - Holly Hoffman

Copies Machine, Copytng. Blank, Like the rest. Hum increases' Run through, Smooth coPY, Identical. Jammed, Rebelibn,

Ridiculed, Snuffed out. -James Abraham