Wichita Northwest High School Ursus 1993 78p

ursus 1993

\@os" literary magazine edited and created by wichita high school northwest creative writing staff volume 15 a

ursus staff editor-in-chief: amy j ames co-editor: sara kirkpatrick staff: creative writing class

faculty advisor: jerry huddleston theme artist: justin clements

title page artist: amy james

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for\ /

special thanks to dr. sowers and ms. allender helping and supporting us throughout!

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!aathe literary and art works submitted

to the 1993 ursus are to the fullest knowledge of the staff are o original in their content and design. if any works within this anthology are plagiarized, ttre staff denies knowledge of the fact and so denies responsibility for the act and its publication oa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaoaoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaraaaaaal

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ursus L993

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.this issue everyone has of ursus is dedtcated to you and the opinions, feelings, and emotions you have shared with us through poetry, photographs, short stories and afiwork.ursus also wants to acknowledge some

of the great\@Os' of alltimes like walt whitmen, henry david thoreau and edgar allen poe.we hope you enjoy this issug and always remeber that counts.

your$A

table of contents mother nature, god and company

friends forever h gcrowd---

scasons.......

slone

by anonymous

by wes demoss tom my friends

...........16 16

byjeni havercroft the greatest memories

l6

by ruby bappiness by lanna enderson

friends forever by lanna enderson my friend by hetdi bender

untitled

freedom............

j. patrick linder our "perfect" world

by

.............6 ........-..................7

j. patrick linder

never unforgiven......-.---......................... 7 by crystal marshall .t angel by my side by sara kirkpatrick the

moon

the stems grow together ............................

by

.lE ............19 ......19

2t

by shane ricketts

untitled 13

j. patrick linder

by Lh.

lct

the breeze

by shane ricketts the oak hee by jason vaughn

...........18

Iips, earlobes and chocolate kisses first love

.............9

j. patrick linder

independence

-........1t

t

by ryan L miller by

friends --.. by shane ricketts my guardian angels by heather spitzner graduation d.y---.---. by shane ricketb

...........t

j. pahick linder

untitled

--................17

by nathan brough

by

by lanna anderson rain .........--

l7

l4

2l with out you by lanna enderson put the book back on the shelf .......-......22 by crystal msrshaU ............23 my love ls true --..byJakc wllson .........-......U love at frrst sight by emy cwoldsen ...........-......-...24 her presence by nick thompson

this rce 25 by b.c. .'< promise -..... by craig barnes precions life.......--.... ..-.....,25 by amy ewoldsen love's fire by lanna rnderson dedicated to dustin olsen ........... . - -.........26 by lisa snyder hopuq drcarns, tcars, a new beginninS,.27 byJamie mcleuglin

-again...

.,,......27

by heather overman the color of my heart by jami bishop you have always been there ....................2t

jeni havercroft I don't want to say goodbye ---.--.........29 by

by heather ovennan

him

29

by anonymous dance with nre.......

29 by jami bishop love determines every aspect ..................30 by troy b. fuqua forever rnd ever .................31 by terry a. beczak Jr. rough edges.......... ...............31 by kara cox once more 31 by ty raymond

dimrnedele grief byJ. pehick linder

----wild llowers greed

by J.

---...--..........34

prbick linder

*.......--...........35

by Jane whaley madness by stephanic bond

35

dear davie

36

by desiree murphy the rrosch pit by edc cpperson

36

war ----.----byJ. patrtck linder the

cnadle

.......37

by enna etkission an ode to an

enemy

-.--......37

by jenny heinicke

tear ..---..... by steve bergeson

your

..........................37

anger

......37

kirkpatrick my little one -.......-... by sara

...........3t

by bolland

whoopee cushins, plastic Yomit and fake doggie doo let's live this by

life

..................40

j. patrick linder

how delicate is the cow ............................ 40 by robb

pain, hate, murder and daisies

untitled school

it's been good to know you ................-...33 by jon schlitt insanity 33 by jenny heinike frightenings .......

33 by shane ricketts run-(the snake) ..-...............33 by steve bergeson

submission

jon schliff our bunter by jennifer sthor

...........41

by steve bergeson ..............41

by shane ricketts

trips by shene ricketts 'tis but e short bridge J.

.....41

.-......41

pahlck linder

empty page 4t by steve bergeson the way lt had to be --..-.....-..........-......42 by valeri crcnshaw

for it is not yet dark..------....-.....--...45

by

-........34

by staceyJones

singing---.by anna ettkisson by shane ricketts

....................-...45

poetry ---.by shanc ricketts

....................-....46

misfortune

......6

by shane ricketts the little

duckling.....

.....-....46

by jennifer stahr

ode to an empty coca.cola

can-..-..-.--.47

by amy wacholtz travels by shane ricketts

4t

dreams

by Jason bickham what e ride ---......

by J. patrtck linder

--..-......48

me, myself and

i

no title

bysara hooper

i fell among the shadows ......................... 50 by rebecce brooks

emotion

...........50

by patric J. linder

5r by anna attkisson

north

dakota

.......................51

by melanie thiessen end of resistance ...................................... 51 by

j. patrick linder

the rest of her

life

by valeri crenshaw what's lvrong today? by eric parks

...............52 ..........54

by stephanie hutchins to find a way by anna sfrkission

untitled

58

by stcve bergeson push onward

5t

byJ. patrick linder lime colored bell-bottoms ....................... 59 by zack huqgins

aG.c'-tF

- $-'i--+-----

--**

mothgr natur;!--+ god and fit, whether it is of company

the devil of God, jand have somewhat I hastily concluded I the chief end of t---I man here to J 'glorify God and j

Walden

Henry David Thoreau "For most men, it appears to me, ate and strange uncertanity about

I enjoy him

i

t

I I

forever.'"

seasons

thank you

WINTER. Snow falling gently to the

Another day begins, tbe night is my friend.

Desolation completely takes over.

Like a strong wind blowing

ground. A time of peace on ear0 and good will toward men. Two hearts meet and silently long o be together.

lhe desert dust"

SPRING. The snow melts and gives way to growth. It is a time of new life.

Two hearts become interested, Oe seed of love begins to sprout.

my hope begins to fade away.

Like a whirlpool darlmess surromds my heart.

Dragging and tugging it down farther and farther.

Then a bean of light appears.

Like a shot of ligbt through the

SUMMER. l,ong dog days.

A time of vacationing by the beach, baseball, and

dense

old men sipping lemonade on a wraparound porch.

Two hearts become closer.

The roots of love grow

mrning fog

it pierces the darlness.

He is with me, Dow as always.

Keeping me safe and helping me out.

Tbe darlmess is gone and only His greatness remains. Thank You.

deeper.

WINTER. Snow falling gently to the

By:

ground. A time of peace on earth and good will toward men. Two hears

J. Paterick Linder, 12

have become one.

By: Anonymous

the pharaoh Ka visits the tomb of Oe Pharaoh his sarcophagus.

As the Pharaoh rises up to meet the sun go4 Re, he looks down upon his people, the people who through sweat and loil builr his stainvay to lhe sun.

Tben it all came back the sornd of granite as it scrapes along the groun( tbe smeU of men sweating. Now the Pharaoh is a god for everyone.

By: Jennifer Stohr,

10

politicians foreplay Call to arms,

My soldiers of death; Watch them marcb Into the migDt. Fear and testosterone Are rich in the air.

Death and gunpowder Secm o be old friends.

Eighteen and still of virSin bloo4 And it's the first time away from bome.

Makes a friend one moment, Holds his brain in the next.

Money, power and gree4 To some it's all very simple.

And yet all so scary tbat one Comnrands such life and death.

I don't like you...

So I kill you.

We follow different gods...

So

I obliterate your kinsmen.

Everyday we march, In everyway we kill; Day in and day out We ask one qrrestion...

Wby is it possible?

The Reaper says my name As the bullet divides my head.

Quick and easy; Saving tbose doctm bills.

A medal is given For a life that is taken.

And what for...

A politcans ideal democracy.

The hometown queen lay in my Ooughts; Morrmy, can I have a drink of water?

Cowboys and indians are finally played fm real fu childhood and motherhood are sop@ abruptly.

Population control is one answer, Madarne.

Boredom, batre4 and fear make the war As the minions so batUe for their naster.

But we, oh, regfet yonr loss.

Welcome to tbe blood-stained sheets, You are invited to Bste our tears.

Come see the pain surrounding all, Advance into the hell you have created.

By: togan

noah's dead O, negative, negative, negative inspiration. Oh, how uninspired he was. Inspiration, perspiration, fornication, and that's why he felt the collar of guilt tighten around his heathen neck. Murderous guilt is an mdeniable force which leads desperate men (and women) to act in extremes. As long as repertancâ&#x201A;Ź and penance and penitent forgiveness can find the way home, eyes can

easily rest. But his eyes couldn't rest until peumce could be performed.

He chose a big, brown tree and

helt

next to

ir

This spot, he tbought, was divine indeed. It was a secluded liule spot

in the heart of a nature island in tbe middle of a sea of filthy city. Raindrops fell like bird poop from the grey sky. The sudden rain scattered masses of people away ftom the park and into bavens of cars and homes. It wasn't ligbtrfng m thunder, just boring, pouring old rain rhat scarcd everyone away. Soon after the rain starte4 only one soul resrained in the park, his soul.

He sat heeling rndemeath the big tree feeling a thousand pounds of burden and regret and rain on his bowed head.

His hair soaking wet over his eyes, he looked up tbrough the limbs and leaves of the big

rec.

He raised his anns to the dumping

clouds and with a sorrowful but guilty glance, his aMomen tightened. A heavy raindrop plopped in his left eyeball, blinding

bim temporarily.

"Oh, God," he cried, "why must I lneel here and beg for your forgiveness while bearing these blows of punishment?

No one stays but

I.

Why L,ord, bave you not cleared my already tearing eye?' His sbous echoed through the branches and

whispered througb the leaves. "Sbow me Fatber, tbe patb to forgiveness."

He rested his seat on the back of his heels and waited for a sign. But there was nothing, just tbe sound of pouring rain and dripping tears. As he bowed his head down, he noticed souretbing that wasn't tbere before. His eyes fxed on a leatherbound book clutched in a death lock grip in his bands.

He raised his eyebrows in disbelief and tried to exanine it closer. He opened tbe wet, soggy cover carefully and looked

inside. All the words bluned ogether

so badly that

Arabic made more sense. He llipped through the pages and every single one

was unreadable and unrecognizable. The rain continued to pour down and by this time the black ink began to

ran. It started to drip off the page and onto his hands. He followed as

a drop

from

a page

run. It ran and

down to the satuatâ&#x201A;Źd grass. He watched

instan0y tbe grass tumed brown and wilted away. Seeing this deatb, be felt a burning sensation on his stained black hands

if they were bathing in an acid bath. He screamed away from him, but it slap@

as loud as he could,

ino the trunk of the big ree

trying to endure

it

as

He tbrew tbe book with all his fear

and bounced back onto the grormd a few inches away. His eyes wide

open watched the trunk and brancbes begin to droop. Soon tbe leaves started

falling. At first one by one, but eventudly they

tm joined the rain in falling to eanh. Once green and living, reigning their tree, thousands of leaves oow buried bim. When Oe

last leaf fell on t@ of his gfirve of compost, tbe rain suddenly stopped.

The sun came

oul

Puddles minored tbe smog-blue sky. But out ftom nowhere as

if waiting to announce a new

coverant, lightening blasted the dying tsee. The blow unearthed his leafy grave. Tingling with an ever ready energy, he lifted his head from tbe sulfuric mud. He glamed over !o wherc the book had landed before. With its cover illuminating with a black

electricity, he could barely make out the inscriptions. But sbock Eiunphed and his penance ended as he findly rested his guilty eye. Tbough he never did see on the cover of tbe book the gold esrbossed cross and letters, B-I-B-L-E, the flood was finally overandNoah was dead.

By: Sblomo ChiD,

12

why?

Oh dear Cro4 I wonder why why you c.hose a child o die?

Not only was he just a chil4 but a beautiful boy so soft and mild.

He bad so much to teaci us all, why did his health have to fdl?

His soul was so strong and thriving to live, this was so mrrch his body couldn't give.

Slowly dying throughout tbe years always praying while shedding tears.

He fought and fougbt but couldn't do whu be needed o pull him through.

Oh dear God, I wonder wby, why you chose our Jason to die?

By: knna Andersou 10

final moments It's

been a long time,

tbere's

but it's come to an end.

You must be on your way, now I'm faced with the wind.

I've spent these last days, these

shrt

sunrmer months.

Filled witb mixed feelings, never saying what I want.

I've always feared this day, When we'd say "goodbye".

My mind says il's right,

so mucb yet to say.

But Dow is not the time,

mayhlwill-someday.

Tbere is the last call, the call of your future and your life.

I have only moments now, my beart's being cut wi& a lnife.

The only thing I can do, is take one last look.

At tbe man saying "Goodbye" to me, my heart and soul he ook.

but my heart puts on a fight.

We'll never loow

the reason,

but God bas his way.

Yourmind is made up, I can't convince you to stay.

When I look into your eyes now, Irealize it's the last. lnside I'm falling apart, underneath tbis smiling mask.

One last time, I long o hold you,

5

By: Heather Overman, 12

freedom Like lofty clouds, dreams fill the infinite space of yourmind.

Climbing the climb up the infinite hill.

Never stopping, Never quitting you cmtinue.

The sticky quagmire of past theoughts oomes rushing like a mountain streirm.

Following friends and foes like a dumb sheep.

Rules keep you on precarious beam.

Don'tbe afraid to take that impoant leap.

Be yourself and do what's natuml.

Break the mold and earn your freedom.

Run like a bondrun from your former master.

Learn to live; not o just slowly die.

Earn your wings and desroy your bonds.

With abrand new sparkle in your eye you wave goodbye,

Riding those lofty clouds on a peflnanent high.

You'r8 ftee like the cool mounain stream.

By:

J. Paterick Linder, 12

our t'perfectt' world Wbat's wrong with this wo,rld?

People are coming and going but we really don't see what's happening.

People are beaten, people raped,

chil&en pushing and using drugs, ten-year-olds pregnant,

but who the hell carcs, right?

That's the asi[de anyway.

Life is one big game.

More like a joke.

Like love, ha!

What is love?

Today it's commitment to something you think exists.

You try and play it off like you're completely happy and everything is perfect, but nothing is as it seems.

love hurts and destroys, that's all.

This whole scene is such a joke, but who the hell cares, right?

By: lanma fuiderson, 10

rain The rain comes pounding down, washing away all wrongs.

Erasing all blemishes from the Earth, It flows steadily from the dirty gutter.

Tumbling and crashing, roaring and screaming.

It desroys all of my problems.

I start anew with the cool after rain breeze.

Sweeping across my face, a long desperate sleep.

Thanks for the rain.

it wakes me from

By:

J. Paterick Linder, 12

never unforgiven Beneath the pale moonlit sky the Indians begin their dan@, With honorin everymove they make and power in their chans.

A blanket of smoke covers the land as the beat of the drum fills the air, The Indians begin their dance of war in the saoed skin of the bear. ln memory of the Red Stick Warriors and others who met death with pride, The Spirit horse came for them long ago now the Great Spirit is their guide.

The time will come when they hunt once more and all the tribes become one, The hunted will die in the ways of old only then will justice be done.

photograph by julie liming

By: Crystrl Marshall, 10

angel by my side Angel by my side [,ead me to a better way.

Give me time which I can bi& To do what I want with my day.

All I need is to bave is a gentle guide To tell me the right words to say.

Don't make me want to hide Eveo though I may.

Be the one in whicb I can confide All the prices I've had !o pay.

the moon

Don't make me give up my pride Or even let it go astray.

By:

Sara Kirkpatrick, 12

Tbe rain fdls from the roof, resonating off tbe cold pavement.

Darkress comes around; encompassing my being.

Like a lonely dog I wander through life.

Howling at the moon, yearning for freedom.

The moon is my friend.

Chasing away my loneliness, it comforts ard cares fs me.

Is radiance keeps me company and takes away the rain.

By:

J. Parick Linder, 12

the stems grow together Two stems of black and white grow together Smm the colors will form a sullen gray And now we are wasbed away fuever But the blue crystal rain can never stay.

Two stems of life colored black colored white.

But now the leafs have changed with the season Two stems of nature one by day one by night Tbey grow there seperue ways fa no reason.

The stems grow ogether until in bloom Yet tbe stems green leafs will soon wilt and fall Winter has come and the stems have no room To show tbe feelings that were rever made.

And dl that is left for tbe stems o say That the blue crystal rain can never stay.

By: Ryan T. Miller,

12

untitled "\ilhat are we doing here? Why do we have to stay here every night?"

"As government employees, we are obligated to do what the government tells us to do. In this particular case, we have to bring food to some old cool So what? Trust me, after you've been involvedulith the govemment for thirty years, you won't sare what task they assign you. It's all the same anyway; caring for some old scientist or shoving papers for an order of pencils, they pay you the same and are just indifferent to

you."

"I can't believe that. Here we are in the most secure and secret house in trl/ashington and what do we do? I'll tell you what we do, we give some crazy old mathematician food. Half ttte time he won't even take it.

Seems so involved with Ns calculations he doesn't even have time to eat. What in the could be so important anyway? He can't be working on the fusion project. The scientists for fusion are all over in Europe."

"Maybe he's inventing some new chip for some $ant super computer. Or maybe he really is oazy and has some great governmental secrets that shouldn't get out. Anyway, it doesn't matter. He doesn't cause us any problems and aII he ever needs is tle occasional bauery for his calculator or more memory for his computer. That's the only time he causes any trouble. Can't seem to realize it takes time to add memory to a computer. Always wants it done five minutes ago and mumbles about losing precious time he could be calculating with."

"That's just it, what could be so important? The math I took never had anything so important in it.

Even Newton couldn't have been so concerned, and he invented calculus. I bet he still took time out to eat or get some ftestr air. This guy hasn't been outside in the tfuee years we've been here. And besides, the least the government could do is give us a name to associate with this guy. Surely he doesn't like us referring to him as a'crazy old coot'. And believe me, he has to hear us."

The cry rang out into the oaken rafters, above the chandelier and reverberated off the wooden ceiling.

It was a cry of agony, filled with the sound of a thousand broken hearts set affire by the very object which had broken them. The broken pieces seemed to be scream out as if begging to be put back together-promising to forgive all wrongs if past ideas and thoughts could remain while the present, in which the pain was all too unbearable, could somehow be forgotten. It had come ftom the old man's door and had shocked the atrendants as much as if the old man had suddenty appeared on ftont of them, volunteering information about his name and occupation.

"Come on! [rt's see what scared the crazy old man."

The younger atrendant's enthusiasm and curiosity was met with sarcasm and bounced off his elder's emotions Uke wind hining a oorner, immediafely blocked and forced to find a new path.

"Probably found out his life has been wasted. I really don't care what's wrong with him, except that now our supervisors will probably get involved and judging Aom past experience, we'll get in trouble no matter whal's wrong."

By now the younger attendant was sprinting down the dark hall, lit only by the candles the old man insisted light the house. The columns of wax had almost burned to the bottom but still cast ever changing shadows off the high-vaulted ceiling. The flickering Ught reminded the young man of ocean waves but all his co-worker could see was luminaries with new ones still waiting to take their turn in life.

"How d.isappointed they'll be when they realize they are only thae to serve others, never able to escape ftom the flame which is both their life and their eventual demise," thought the elder attendant.

The two anendants burst into another dimly lit foyer. They had never traversed past this point in all their dealings with the mathemUician; he wouldn't allow it. Directly ahead was an arched door much like those seen in medieval castles. The black iron hinges and high arch and cold dungeon of a forgotten castle rather than a door leading to research and a greu scientist.

"Hey, are you alright in there? Can you hear me?" the young man was shouting with all the voice he could muster. His youthful vigor resounded out through the dark air like a lone wolf s howl in the night.

"What should we do?"

'Iile've never gone into the guy's room before and I don't think we should. It'd probably set the old

man off and we'd end up getting fired or posted in Antartica or something."

Just then the sound of great heavy sobbing and tears reached the young man's ears. The sound of a defeated soul moved the easily swayed emotions of the young attendant and instilled in him enough mettle to contradict his ftiend's advice.

"I'm going in there. Listen to him, he obviously isn't okay. You may not like taking chances any more but the man is hurting, and even your jaded old heart can't enjoy listening to the man suffer."

The young man's words held more truth than his counterpart would have liked to admit. Dreams had been snuffed out too early and as is all too often the case, his old soul had become jaded and cold with time.

But now this cry seemed to awaken a part of him he had been suppressing for so many long and bitter years.

He made no motion of resistance and the young man approached the door, quickly at frst but with a certain hesitancy as he neared the actual barrier. Within lay all fi1s ensrslsls to his questioning mind, and he could not immediately open it. The young man had already become accustomed to the disappointrnent which naturally accompanies a spirit so full of life and expectations; he 1vs5 tekisg his time only to prepare his heart for yet another frustration. After all, the old man probably did just need more memory for his computer based

calculations.

"If only we're going to go in there

we befier do it quick before I change my mind." The elder assistant's words accompanied by the increased noise of the scientist's sorrow, jarred the young man's mind back into reality and gave him the courage to open the door.

"This door's heavy, almost like it was meant to be a prison door. I don't lnow how the old man manages to open it by himself, must be sEonger than he looks." The young man was unconsciously mumbling to himself in an effort to calm his nerves, and his comments went unnoticed by his ftiend.

The door's momentum sent it crashing into the limestone wall but the crash could not silence the old scientist's sound of pain and failure. The two attendants cautiously set foot into the new room. Architecturally, it appeared like all the other rooms except the ceiling may have been even higher than the others, but perhaps it was merely an illusion brought on by the lighting. Candles were burning everywhere and gave off more light than any two conventional fixtures could have made possible. The only exception was the far end of the wall. There, no candles burned. Instead, an exfremely bright light hung down, much like those used in interrogations of prisoners. Illuminated by this harsh light was a black wall with one symbol scrawled luxuriously in white. It was the symbol for infinity, that number of eternity, of infinite possibility, of no beginning and no ending. Sprawled across a desk, with his glasses gripped tightty in his left hand and his right hand clenched in a fist repeatedly pounding the desk, was the scientist. The pounding was not hard but was rythmic and constant It mixed with the sound of tle mUhematician's tears to create an eerie and ominous tone. The noise was occassionally intemrpted as the old man drew in breath or wi@ the salty drops of sorrow from his face, but the sound of his pain always seemed to find the same haunting rhythm once it stafted again.

The two attendants approached ttp old man; the elder assistant now taking the lead as his younger companion lost some of his confidence and bravado. The two men were smn within a couple of feet of the broken old scientist, and the young man could see wrinkles running all over the scientist's face. Accumulating in these myriad lirps were tears which appeared to run down the paths like a million rivulets. The river of tears avoided obstacles like man's prominent nose much like a stream avoids a rock--ttrey seemed to flow right around it not losing any speed or power.

"Sir, are you alright? What's wrong? Is tlrere anything we caD do?"

The young man's questions went unanswered for many minutes until his co-worker spoke up. "Give it up for a while. Ttp old man doesn't even realize we're here. Whatever happened has really shaken him up."

After that, ttrc elder assistant got up and began to scan tIrc room with his experienced eyes, pursueing over even the smallest object and letting no details escape his warchful eye.

"I'm going to look around. You stay here with the old man and holler if he begins to become coherent." The elder assistant then proceeded to leave the young man and tearful scientist together while he set off exploring the room.

Tables were covered with papers containing esoteric mathematic formulas and theorems. Papers which contained old ideas and concepts were srewn haphazardly on the floor and peered innocently out of the wastebaskel In the opposite corner of the room sat the mathematician's computer, the monitor was still on

t0

and it too possessed line after line of mathematical formulas. The attendant then approached the wall with the infinity symbol. There was nothing particululy special to him about the symbol. He knew it was the highest number conceivable, but he could not figure out why ttp old man had devoted an entire wall to it.

After staring at the symbol for some minutes the elder assistant decided to continue his lmk around the room and come back to this enigma later. To the right, the adjoining wall was covered with row afier row of books. An extensive collection of works all dealing with mathematics , stretched out as far as the old attendant could see. Algebra books, geometry books, trigonometry books, and calculus books were prominent everywhere. Joining this was a copy of Euclid's The Elements and numerous works concerning astronomy.

Father down the line was a set of biographies ou0ining the careers and searches of l-eibnitz, Euler, Archimedes, Gibbs, and other great mathematicians. The anendant realizet all of the books had a common theme; in some manner, they all dealt with mathematics and the manipulation of numbers.

"Come quick! the old man is trying to say something!" The elder assistant was again examining the wall with the infinity symbol when the cry came. Dropping all train of thought he rushed over to the scientist's side.

The sobbing had died down considerably and a quiet whisper could barely be discerned. The elder assistant kneeled down so a to better hear the mthematician. 'lilhat is it? Say it again please!"

The old man seemed to suddenly gain control of his faculties and the sounds of crying soon stopped.

He wiped his face of the tears and began to speak.

"All these years for nothing. No time spent on anything else. My whole life...wasted." The pain was apparent in his voice and the two attendants knew the old man was still in agony. '?lease sir, try to tell us what happened. You're only telling us bits and fragments."

The words seem to get though the old man's suffering and he began to uravel his entire slory.

"In school I found out early I was on a different Ievel than the other children. No poblem was too difficult or too complicued for me to work my way through. I was accepted to all of the best universities; after aII, I was the best and brightest my generuion had to offer. I had been told that over and over again no matter how much I disliked it. I didn't want to be different ftom everyone else, I only wanted to live like all of my peers. But it was not to be."

This statement was accompanied by a great sigh. The old man was looking back at the folly of accepting his current job, but at the same time he realizfd there was no other choice for him. There had been no fork in the road for him to choose his way. His intellect had made all paths lead in this one directjon.

"Destiny decided I would follow the path my intellect had forced me down. I graduated ftom college and was still the best and brightest around. There really was no challenge in academics for me. I soon became bored and with this boredom came cynicism. Life wasn't so tough. What had it thrown at me that I couldn't handle? I spent a few years abroad, hoping for a challenge overseas which I couldn't find here. It was futile search and served only to increase my sarcastic wit. That's why I immediately accepted this job when the

govenrment offered it to me."

The old man seemed to lose his train of thought and could not continue for a few moments. After gentle coaxing on the part of the younger assistant the old scientist continued.

"The government approached me and told me they wanted me to help unlock the secrets of the universe. This , of course, immediately grabbed my interest. I asked for more information and they informed me that the governrnent wanted me to find concrete proof of infinity; an example o word with. The government was willing to pay all expenses necessary for my research. They seemed to think finding infinity would help build a better understanding of the universe, might shed some light on human existence. I accepted the job at once. Just imagine, the possibility of helping discover somuhing of this magnitude. On top of that was the challenge. No one else could complete such aJob; no orE else had the abilities I had This would be the $eatest achievement of mankind. It would be the greatest search for knowledge markind had ever undertaken. The one thing I enjoyed in school aII those was the search for knowledge. Knowledge, in my opinion, was king. Nothing else mauered, tIrc rest of the world bored me. Knowledge was the only escape I had and here was an opportunity to increase human capacity for knowledge thousand-fold."

Again the tears began to well up inside the old man's swollen eyes. He once more wiped his face with the sleeve of Ns white lab coat and strengthened his resolve enough to continue recounting his tale of failure.

ll

"I moved all my belongings here and set up work immediately. I've been here ever since, fifty-eight long and tedious years-never stoping or quitring. No other thought or concâ&#x201A;Źpt except infinity has crossed my mind this entire time. Infinity is my existence, my very being. And only now do I realize...Only now, after tifty-eight years of futile anemps and useless equations, do I know for certain. tnfinity can never be reached.

I've wasted my life for nothing, for a number which will always remain a concepL What else is left for me?"

The mathematician lowered his head once again and quie0y began sobbing.

"His whole life waste( searching for a concept which could never be found." Disbelief hung in the young attendant's voice. He looked tro his elder co-worker for advice, for suppo( for anything.

At first, the whole thing seemed so ridiculous to the elder attendant. He felt almost like laughing at the sheer irony of it all. He once again lmked across the room and this time noticed how sharply the candles contrasted with ttp modern lighting shining upon the inlinity symbol. As he continued his scanning he noticed an abacus next to the computer, and soon a new realizuion began to dawn within him. This realization grew steadily inside of him, multiplying at an amazing rate. It started as a faint glow inside his stomach and steadily spread throughout his entire body until he felt it ftom one extremity to another. The feeling seemed to awaken his soul once again and purged him of his bitterness, his cynicism, his resignation to life.

He slowly looked at the old mathematician and then lmked his young ftiend straight in the eyes.

"There are some things human knowledge will never be able to verify. Some things cannot be solved with tools of old or tools of new. lnoking for these things is a futile search. Some things must not be questioned but only accepted. Love, the quest for peace, the hope of a God... Some things must be kept in your heart and taken on faith."

By: PatLinder,

12

t2

the breeze

independence Yerning tobe ftee,I trg atmy chains.

Ma}ing rne own decisious.

Uving with their ourcome.

A perfumed beeze uang tbe peaceful leaves, It murmured a sweet lullaby to the wistful earth.

Witb its last breath it dsifted to the beavens,

Forging my ocn path tbrough Tbe jungle of life.

And tbe shadowed clouds silently wept.

By: RcbeccaBrmls,l0 Icome to

afortin

theroad.

Whicb way sbould I go?

Cuefully I cboose my patb.

Down the rmd I rod; looking and listening to everything.

I made my dâ&#x201A;Źc$ion and I'll lirc by it.

By:

J. Faterick

Lin&r,

12

life Creation.

Birth.

Infant.

Toddler.

child.

Teenager.

Young Adult.

Single Adult.

Mariage.

Middle Age. Senior Citizen.

Failing Health.

Care Home.

Hospital.

Death...

Peace.

Glory.

Praises.

Finally, we'll meet our lvlaker.

By: Eric Parts,

13

12

up from the coffin It's very comfortable in this satin bed, To think about it" I don't really feel dead.

Many people are walking by crying tears of pain Hey, I wonder if this coffin will protect me from the rain?

I'm kind of cramped in this tight box, It really doesn't matter because I won't be moving much.

I like the gifts lying next to me, But I won't need them where I'll be.

Wow, I really lnew a lot of people, How did tley all fit in this tiny steeple?

Not much matters now because I'm on my way to ameeting with Him. The Big Man. No longer will I worry, Etemal life, Eternal glory.

Yes, this truly is a place to see, Love and happiness surround me.

Death is an experience I can only share with those in the clouds, People below would look at me with doubts.

the oak tree I am the oak tree On the big green lawn With daisies and Windmills.

I am the mighty oak, My branches trusting, Climbing to the sun with Hungry leaves.

Brown leaves fall as the Earth spins farther from my Star. Yet...

In spring their seeds bring My loving children.

Seven hundred years my Roots have outsrerched Fager fingers. Seven Centuries of the dim Ambers of dusk to the

Heavy deep purple dawn.

A madman I can hear one say,

If he only lmew he would be in

a state

of dismay.

The sun never sets up here, but the beauty far surpasses any such thing on the world below.

It's time to go now.

Wow, life's been fun, But to the heavenly world I must run.

By:

My time

has ended

Here.

My roots have struck Hallowed ground.

By:

Jason Vaughn, 12

Shane Ricketts, 12

photograph by julie liming l4

*1r---

,.--*-.G'--

friends

forever I -'++

-+\--r.s_r_

--

A Separate Piece j *, purpose from John Knowles J the first: to become I a part of him."

"I lost part of my i self to him then, and a soaring I sense of freedom j reveled that this must have been ,;

!

/

t5

alone in a crowd

to my friends

I

stand here among the crowds faceless people.

Staring, Erying to find myself among these individuals that don't see me, don't care.

of

Unfeeling.

I have no one, and yet I am surrounded with unknown pain.

Bleeding hands shake me, knowing fully my destiny.

Stranger yet, I know it also.

By: Wes de Moss for

the

"pigs",

12

Standing strong, staying together.

We made it through another year is all we havelef,t Thanks for caring it got us through times of pain brought us closer together.

I'll never forget great memories we made gave laughter to treasure brought tears to remember trouble we found and accidently escaped.

By: Jeni Havercroft,

11

the greatest memories

As I, Dr. Ruby, peered out of my window and over my plot, I imagined those pigs which I missed a lot.

One like a surgeon with a moody view, and memories of a screaming eagle which barely flew.

One with a single â&#x201A;Źyâ&#x201A;Ź, a cyclops if you ffiay, Who constantly dipped and always had to play.

One with a chiseled body, a Swass kind of guy.

He loved the Marlboro Man and the Cyclops' eye.

One with a potbelly, the Hoss of the bunch, Who always had a joke and no money for lunch.

The last with long hair and nicknamed [.other, We'll remember his melody and good friends, nicotine and tar.

As for me, I'm the spicy one who was hardly understood, Having a career and a family as everyone knew I would.

While drinking water from my styrofoam CUp, in a daze much like Snoopy, I realized I'll never forget the Bush Pigs and the Class of '93. to the Bush Pigs

-Dedicatd By: Ruby,

l6

12

happiness Why is it that all the happiness in the world is taken from me. I think I've finally capnued some when something comes along and takes it away. With ttre turn of a head, or a simple phrase my whole world can be crushed. It happens so many times. It's like I'm not allowed to be happy. True happiness is so rare that you hold it tight when you find it. But for me, somehow, something always manages to sneak up behind my back and steal my world From under my nose. How can I be so blind? Why can't I be happy,why???

By: Lanna Anderson

friends lbrever Friends forever we often say, but will you go far away?

Will this friendship last or end?

Or will you stay my so called friend?

As we grew up throughout the years We shared the joy, smiles and tears.

You got older and had your own friends I was left in the dark, my life seemed to end.

Then you had a boyfriend, and I won't way his nutme.

Since then this friendship hasn't been the same In my heart, soul, and mind the friend I'll remember is the one that was kind Although I'm not that important to you You're my very best friend and that will always be tnte.

By: Lanna Anderson l7

untitled

my friend After all that has happened it's amazing we are still friends.

You came and you left and I thought the world would end.

But now you're here in my life and I'm very happy.

We spend time together and laugh and joke but we don't get too sappy.

Your face is adorable, your smile is so cute looking at you is just a hoot.

We can talk about anything and act anyway but it doesn't really matter because we know it is ok.

Friends like us there are very few but I want you to know I'll always be here for you !

By: Heidi Bender,

The time has come to step up in life And step away from childhood A friendship is infinite but will grow Less as we part Our highschool memories are becoming More sacred everyday...I hold in my heart Forever the games the parties the fun I had With my friends my teammates my family Where will I be in a year? Where will my Friends be, will they be successful or just Another of life's failures? I will try my Hardest to live my life to ttre greatest extent I can make it. I hope all of you do too.

Hopefully the best is yet to come But it will be hard to compete with The moments I had with all of you.

"Senior'93"

11

By: Nathan Brough, 12

friends Friends are all around, Soon there shall be no one on this familiar ground.

Off to their future is where they're headed, I have known of this day often dreaded.

Happy times are the memories to hold, Wittrout them how shall I be so bold.

They are companions I've known for years, One last hug and then ttrey're gone, There's no happy melody in this saddened song. lrtters and calls must be made, Keeping in touch will easily fade.

Dreams of tomorrow help to ease the pain, Where's all the sunshine on this day of rain.

18

my guardian angels Old Aunt Maude and Uncle Ray, Well they would brighten anyone's day.

Their smiles were so grand, And were always ready to lend a helping hand.

Their faces were so tender and kind, They continually wanted to know what was on your mind.

They used to swing on that old front porch, Their love for each other flamed like an unending tourch.

Older people, set in their ways, How I wish I could have lived in "their days."

They both mean so much to me, If you look deep into their eyes maybe you'll see.

Old photographs say so much, Of loved ones you wish you could touch, Of those dead and gone, Their memories linger on.

By:

Heather Spitzner, 12

graduation day As the boy walks across the stage, He suddenly sees himself walking to school without his mottrer's assistance.

He recalls all the painstaking hours of frustration and rage, For now he has reached his goal through studying and overwhelming persistance.

He thinks of the many people that have helped him to this day, Teachers, friends and students and yes even his brother.

But on this warm spring day in May, He knows the person most supportive and caring which could only be his loving mother.

Bv' ShaneRic.ketts l?

l9

lips, earlobes, andi chocolate kisses I

43

"How do I love Elizabeth Brownir thee? Let me 'q count the ways.

One, two, three, / four, five, six, Sonnet

I

I

infinity.

"

/ I

20

first love I saw you crying and I didn't lnow what to say, Feelings rmning througb my head as I walked away.

Without you for eternity, How shetl I wake for another day?

When I lost you I lost my life.

Tboughts ran through my head of killing myself with a lmife, You meant the wcld to me, How is it that no one came o see?

When we were kids this was soen as nothing, Now you truly mean something.

Gone are tbe days of your gentle loucb, The little things I never tbougbt meant to much.

You'rc the only girl I shall ever love; Unfortunately, the clock is only wound once.

Never shall yesterday come onoe more, Today and tomorrow I will sit and murrn Words could never bring our hearts closer, Instead we &ifted as wood in the ocean curent.

Hope is gone but never forever, Will I forget tbe love and affection you so often delivered.

By:

Shane Ricketts, 12

untitled A single frame Thrown from anger-Cracked,

Broken Tears.

By: T.H.,ll

lost without you There's always someone who talks of a bnoken heart This wouldn't happen to me, nothing muld make us part.

A love like ours I had never lmown, to ytx my true feâ&#x201A;Źlings I would've sbown.

Some say we don't lmow true love during our yorth. since I have met you I have learned tbe ruth.

People questioned if we'd last, but what do they krow?

Since tbe day we met, I've felt my love for you grow.

Mow your feelings for me arcnt the same, why must I always play this love gane?

I love you so much I wish you could see how much I want for you to love me.

Now I lnow bow a broken heart can feel, I'm not sure if my wounds will ever heal.

I guess it's over, there's nothing I can do I only hope you realize, I an lost witb out you.

By: Ianna Anderson, 10 21

put the book back on the shelf My precious one I feel the loss of no*having you anymore, Im reminded each day I lhink of you and how my heart was tore.

Wby did you leave me long ago and take my heart with you?

For you I would've done any&ing and you lmew my love ws true.

I hate myself for loving you after dl that was said and done, But many are the memories and I'll always cherish everyone.

Altbough we are no longer one w are still in my dreams, A dream is a wisb one's heart longs fa, how real tbese dreams tbey seem.

I want ouly for you to take me again and hold me in your arms, To let me feel tbe sereniry of being safe again ftom harm.

On the night when I last saw you a single tear fell from you eye, I knew it then as I lnow it now foever it meant good-bye.

o end this way is what I often ask myself, I just want to end my love for you, to put the book back on &e shelf.

Why did it bave

By: Crystal Marsball, I I

once more His arrow pierces O11Cf4nqIE Uncontrollable is that feeling Drunk with thoughts of her Sobriety is absolete Coberence is absent The world she means to me She is the world Every waking thought, a part of Every pleasent drearl consists of With every day desire grows more Images are all I lnow when apart My last thoughts of her Speed along the raceway in my head Dodging the warning signs Only o be hurt OnCe^EaIE

By: Ty RammonG 12

22.

my love is true you love me or do you not? ou told me once, but I fogot.

I had a heart and it was true, but now its gone ftom me to you.

fr

you have two and I have none. ake care of it as I have dorp, y chance I go o Heaven and yor Dot there, I'll write yoururme on a golden stair.

So all the Angels there can see, my love, you mean to me.

just to prove my love is true, I'd go tbrough hell to be with you!

23

Iove at first sight

forever and ever

Impulse Eyes meet

tingle goes through your body search

fr

something within

don't loow whql maybe just a glimpse of hope is it there?

Search further.

What feeling is behind those stars?

Can I find out?

What if I imahine his thorghts, could be be dreaming

of anything I wanthim to?

Could he possibly be thinking of me?

He's looking at me.

Maybe he's wondering wbat I'm thinking.

If I sit here longer mayb he'll respond.

In the shadows of the m6untain sifls, In nature's sweet caress, In a field of clovers grown up high, Is where I comnrune the best.

I lay down and stare at tbe clouds above,

And the sky drawn a pale blue, Making funny shapes out of lhe clouds above, Dreaming of nothing but you.

You occupy my every thought, And every drea[t, I dream, Every rct I do, I do for love, No matter how small tbey do so seem, So whatever adventure you endeavor 1shail give you my love Forever and ever!

By: Terry A. Beczak Jr., 11

Anod...

A word... something,

tqture!

Not lnowing Please?

Something.

Anything.

The time won't go.

He blinked.

My heart fluuered.

Was it a sign?

Shall I blink back?

BUnk...

Nothing... wait... time... time...

her presence

ttrtue... time...

look... sâ&#x201A;Źe...

Smile.

By: AmyEwoldsen,1l

Her beauty is umatched by all, Under her spell, I fek myself fall.

Her voice travels like the sweetest music into my ean, But when she is not with me I often fall to tears.

Her presence lighs up my life tbe way tbe su does a day, Yet just as night ends the day, there is always an end to her stay.

I love when she's around me, I cherish every brreath, Her presence my life, her deparure my death.

By: NickThompson,ll

24

this rose I look at this rose and wbat do I see?

A door to my heart - perhaps you bold tbe key such beauty and power - I'm so mesnerized caugbt by your smile - I'm so lost in your eyes.

But this rose I can't tonch, for there is a wall A wall of sharp thorns - it reactres so tall.

To protect you heart, so &agile and sby I stand at a distance looking inside All I ask is for one single chance To spend my Me holding this rose in my bands Please open your heart urd give me your love for you are the rose that I'm speaking of.

For you

By me

By: B. C., 1l

prorruse It staned out

as friendship and turned into something more.

The love I feel for you, I've never felt before.

You make me feel so happy whenever I am down, By telling me your "silly" jokes and acting like a clown.

I can't believe you teU me all the things you do, But I'm glad that you can trust me and I can trust you too.

There's just one more thing I've got to let you Lnow, No matter what happens, I will never let you go.

By: Craig Bames,

12

precious life Comting every moment until, bolding you in my ams I will, name you carefully witb such precision.

And each and every decision, will be done out of my love, you are all I have ever dreamed of.

Devoted

living

o

o you every

day,

play.

But we will never be together, sâ&#x201A;Źe you laugh and

the docor said you are gone forever.

I was hoping to be there to hear your first breath, But instead.... I wimessed your death.

By: Amy

25

Ewoldsen, 1l

Iove's fire Love is so muchlike fire. The surallest spark can start

a heated

blaze. Witb time the raging flames calm to quie!

comfrting, cozy glow that makes you feel wouderful all over. Then with the suullest drop of water, such as a tear falling from a hoken beart, or a cold lonely win4 the flanes of love and passion can die. The one you love is the flame.

The flame of your heart, the flame of your soul, and tbe spark that keeps you going. Like a beated flane it sheds light on

fa as long as it chooses. It can remain lit forever, a slowly fade away. It can tala forever to kindle and be out before you loow it. Tbe flame is so beautiful and adds such excitement to your life. Yon can trey to touch this beauty, but only for a short time. If you try and bold on, you'll find you've been bumed. If you surother the flame it will die within the mercy of you hand. There is nothing like this flame, but love. Something that can cause joy and happiness and burn your world o pieces. yorn life

By: knna Anderson, l0

dedicated to dustin olsen You came into my life and urned on the light.

We became so close our friendship I could not help but boast.

You started having troubles and I wanted to be there for you.

Our love for each other became the strangest ever.

You became so much apart of me I just couldn't think of bow it would be without you Now you're gone and there's a hole in my heart.

I said I would never leave you and I still hold that as a promise that

will never be broken.

You will always be in me for as long as I live.

I will forever love you.

How much it huru inside to know tha you arc somewhere that can't be found.

I never got to say good-bye or feel you comforting turch.

I would pay by life to have you back safe with me.

But I guess that will forever be

I love you and

I'll

a

dream.

so much

never forg0t about you.

I hope you feel the same way too.

I will always love you, forever, Dustin.

By: Lisa Snyder,

12

26

hopes, dreams, tears, a new beginning

...again...

I am waiting bere, [-onesome as can be, Waiting for you to come back to me.

It huru

I made

a promise to

myself,

Dever to fall fm him.

But like that promise so many times, my beart was boken-

so much,

How long should I wait, My heart beats at an even faster rate.

again.

By: Heatber Overman You are the one I love, But how can I let you Lnow, So that, if thoe's room, our love can grow?

I miss you, Your touch so sweet, Without you my life is incomplete.

Just thinking about you, You holding me, I think, How can tbis be?

Is this right, what's going on?

Because if it's tbe right thing, Please take all the hun tbat ir brings.

Take this hurt away from me, Take it straight from the heart" Like thread gone througb a needle's eye, And now where do I start?

Now you're gone,

I'll

find someone new, And with luck you will, too,

Find someone who loves you, As much as I do.

By: Jamie Mclauglin,

ll

the color of my heart It is not black as some may say, but a deep, dark blue- as a col4 dreary winters day.

As tbe boromless (rcean that drowns every bit of life, my beart suffers the wounds of a sharp butcher lnife.

Sinking deeper than tbe eye can soewhy couldn't he have said that he loved me?

Hurting so much, today I feel sick.

Hoping to re@ver with every second's tick.

It is over rcw, it never really began.

I must go on- I hnow I can!

Did you ever find a certain someotre that didn't find you?

I how how you feel because I've done that too.

Obviously, it was never meant to beBack to life, back !o reality.

There is someme out there for each and every one.

Look- how beartifuMt's tbe sun!

Bright and warm as each day grows.

Hearts, no longer blue, and it shows. love dug past the deepest scarI-ove as pure as this goes very far!

By: JamiBishop,

2t

11

you have always been there You have always been there wben I have strmbled. wbether it be a pebble or a roclc to climb over.

Your shoulder has rever left tbe rerch of my tears Your snile has yet to stop ginning atme.

Your hand bas never untwined tbe grasp we have for each otber.

Your side still stands beside mine.

Your love stopped only once,

I wish never again.

Your "pinch" is filled with happiness.

You never closed your door to my Lnock.

Your ears.+ever deaf.

Your words-qtever condeming Without you I would fall.

Without you my tears would crash dead to tbe cold ground.

Without you my open hank would search.

Without you my side would be lonely.

Without you, I would not have felt true love, not oncâ&#x201A;Ź, but nvice each time special eacb time memorable each time unfmgeable.

Without you my lnock would be hollow and unanswered.

You became a piece of my beartas well as my life.

You beld me close wben I pushed away.

Do I deserve you?

Yet, you have always been there You gave me hope when I only saw dadness.

You gave love instead of sheme.

You will always be a piece of my heart.

Always special...always memorable...always...unforgettable.

By: JeniHaverooft,ll

28

him i don't want to say goodbye Il,'s not over till it's over we don't have to say goodbye.

We're not ending our relationship, we're just doing what is rigbt. what we have is special so lets keep it this way.

Not asking for much more, just living day by day.

It makes it so much easier when it's time fs us to part.

Wben we say goodbye we'fe not left with a broken heart.

We'll

be more than acquaintances

our friendship can't be bought.

EYES as deep and blue as the ocean, with the slightest hint of starlighr.

HAIR sandy blon4 and slightly askew like thqt of a child cming in on a windy afternoon. a SMILE so

hight that no matterhow

gloomy, it can brighten every day. a

TOUCH so tender and gentle, it can overcome lbe worst of fears a L,OVE so innocent and boundless

tbat it can only be matched by my own.

By: Anonymous

We'll

sbare tbe same feelings, about each other and our tboughts.

Maybe we'll be more as

life passes on.

But only time will

if orn

till

hearts are that strong.

Sure it's going o be hard" to put a restraint on ourselves.

But we'll go in confidence, in case there's someone else.

We'll gain trust in

each other

and in ourselves too.

No matter what happens it's the right thing to do.

I'm sorry,

so sorry thet I can't give you more.

But I'd ralber love you like this, than for us to b,e at war.

So if you ever see me smiling at you, with a teardrop in my eye.

Just tum away tnowing, I don't want o say goodbye...

DedicaM

o

Jereme Parrotr

By: Heather Ovemran,

dance with me dance witb me rmder a shooting star take my hand in any lan4 no ruuer how far we'll waltz until tbe break of dawn eye !o eye until the night is gone

touch my cleek and give me sre kiss for in the mruing it's you i'll miss i close my eyes and you sooo fade away it's time !o face another day i'll hold you in my tbougbs and dreams figure onight-we'll danoe under moon beams

12

By: Jami Bishop,

2g

ll

love determines eYery aspect Late at night, ready for bed I always have one thought in my head It is about a person, whom I like Someone very special who holds me tight A person I always have on my mind Someone very friendly, warm and kind A person many look up to in many different ways I remember I used to, in the not so-great days A person who has great impact on my life Not being with her is like stabbing my heart with a knife I have grown attached to her more and more every day How could I bare to ever be away.

The feelings I have are so very strong I feel like I can never go wrong With this person whom I like so much Especially the times alone when we touch Or the times when we walk hand in hand To me she is the most beautiful person on land Even though we have gone through times of grief to me now, it only seems so brief Now I feel like I am closer than ever I don't want to, see us ever separate, I wish it could be never But deep down inside, yes I know That sometime in the future I will need to go Somewhere far and away From the people I dislike out of dismay It will be hard, for me to just go To leave so much behind, and to know That the person I am leaving is so dear I will never have a day without a tear But for now and many months still I hope we can forget the future, I know we will And enjoy ourselves like we know how Starting today, starting right now I want many memories to have in mind How she talked to me, so gentle and kind How we touched lips, so sweet and nice And give each other goose-bumps without using ice I want to love this person with all my heart But it is hard when you don't know how to start

Telling this person your full-flesh feeling Doing it on your feet or doing it kneeling It is the best feeling in the world To have these feelings for a girl A girl you know you would marry if you could Or live with forever if she would But that to me is so far away We must take this relationship day by day And learn to appreciate the other one more So we do not fight until our hearts are sore I know our relationship is one of the best It should be by now, it has had zillions of tests So lets work together and remain this way So we can look back to this someday And remember all the fun that we had Doing things with you, your mom and your dad The meaning I am trying to present to you Is it doesn't matter what you do I will always have you in my heart No matter how long we are apart I love everything about you and more I hate to think about being away from you,

I am already sore.

Just never forget me and the times we shared All the times you talked to me and I showed I cared All the times you and I touched and kissed Those are times I will muchly miss

By: Troy B. Fuqua,

12

,4fi,i 30

rough edges Rough edges you possess so many.

Your temper is quick. Your priorities mixed.

Your love is confused and your home life a wreck.

You haven't a dime to spend on a gift.

Or a single dream left to be wished Your friends so import. Drugs even worse.

Your life so different than before.

Rough edges I possess so rnany.

My strenght is nothing. My heart is weak.

My love is confused, even more than youn.

I work too often. I spend too much money.

I've thousands of dreams, but nothing done.

My friends are distant. My boyfriend too.

My only reason in life is you.

Rough edges surround our everything.

They crush and crumble out heart in two.

The edges, they have scarred us both And joy cqr't be found for me or for you.

By: KaraCox,

12

photograph by amy cooper

31

c.F --t

+_i++r.+.\_ +

pain, hatâ&#x201A;Ź, murd er and daisies

I

Masque of the Red Death Edgar Allen Poe

I I

f

__

And the flames of the tripods expired.

And darkness and decay and the Red Death held

illimitable

"And the life of th J dominion over ebony clock went I all. " out with that of th ? last of the gay.

I

32

it's been good to know you

frightenings

As I stand over this plot of grass And stare at your marker My heart is filled with grief An ocean of itching inside I try to drown it but cannot Because it's been good to know my friend

Cut your throat

Life's ajoke Stumble on tommtrrow to ease today's hardship and srrow Come to me Death is clear to see Free your soul from troubles loown Take the chance, sit upon my throne.

Your death left me speecbless Here in an instant, gone in anotber.

Even tbough it was Dot by your own bands And even thongh they tell me you are better off now.

It does nothing to calm me.

Because it's been good to krow you my friend.

By:

Shane Ricketa, 12

I could not bare to see your death, face to face.

So the last memory I have of you is alive.

Full of bopes, dleatrls, and life But tbat was all stopped in an insunt.

Now a tear comes to my eye.

Because it's been good to krow you my friend.

Now I shift my coat upward, As the wind blows through me, I turn on my beal and start to walk away.

Knowing one day I will see you again In a mixfire of life and death.

Farewell, It's Been Good to lnow you my friend.

By: Jon Schlitt, ll

run-(the snake) insanity

"Run!" yelled one friend to another as tbe snake approached

Crazed murderers

"The serpant comes, and close behind

Run rampant Screaming screams That no one bears.

No one wants to acknowledge The concerns of the crazed.

They know tbat.

They hate you for thinking You're beuer tban they are.

They'll get back at you.

They lnow wbere you live Because they live there too.

Tbey lmow who you are Because they 31g you.

I can see the devil ctrouch."

By: Jenny Heinike, l0

'Are you afiaid os a lit0e snake, What kind of fool are you?

Lmk at him smile, lets have some fun tlere's nothing for you to loose."

Don't be fmled by the serpants smile for I have felt his wrath and wben the devil finds your soul you'll die a painful death."

But despite tbe warnings of his friend-Himself he never ried o run he lost his life for nothing more than a little bit of fun.

By: 33

Steve Bergesou 12

submission

dimmesdale grief

It's been good to know you fu I stand over this plot of grass

Trapped in a lie with no end in sight the Lord's heavenly light.

My strength is sapped, my soul is frail, My life is hidden by a hypocrisy veil.

I'm moving away from

and stare at your marter.

My beart is filled with grief an ocean of it churning inside I try to drain it but cannot because it's been good tLo klow my friend Your death left me speechless Here in an instant, gone in anotber.

Even 6ough it was not by your own hands and even ttrough tbey tell me you are be uer off now.

It does nothing to calm me.

Because it's been good to loow you my friend.

I

journey or-preaching only a lie,

I have but one question t-ord: O Why? O Why? Redemption I seek; I yearn to be free But Chillingworth, tbe fignd, has thrown away the key.

A wall I've created with this lie I've built" Inside my soul I feel nothing but guilt.

O' LorG answef, me please, Why be I so weak?

Please give me the strength to acbieve !o a0onement I seek.

My soul is unpure and frlled with deceit, I'll soon see Saran in Hell's blazing heat.

I could not bare o

see your death, face to face.

So the Iast memory I have of you is alive.

Full of bopes, dreams, and life but that was all stopped in an instant.

Now a tear comes to my eye.

Because it's been gmd to loow you my friend

By:

J. Parick Linder, 12

Now I shift my coat upward.

As the wind blows througb me.

I turn on my heal and start to walk away.

Knowing one day will see you again in a mixture of life and death.

Farewell, it's been good to know you my friend.

By: Jon Schlitt, ll

greed Greed conEols his mind. a nmaway boulder he wants More and more, sooner and sooner.

His conquests make the rich richer But the poor become poorer.

Like

our hunter Tbe only tbings man should desire Are defined for him by love, Yet many men have searched for thrill By killing yonder dove.

Are such a deadly breed For tbey kill our only wildlife On which they do not feed.

So I ask you friends and rcighbors Can't we make a stand?

For all endangaed species Scattered 'cross the land.

By: Jennifer Stohr,

Charity is not in his vocabulary. a hungry beast he cries for more.

Lying, cheating, m stealing; He has befriended them all.

Now he is on top but grerd will be his downfall.

His plummet from the top races closer and closer.

Finally he falls and is left only wirh Bitter memmies.

Like

By:

J. Patrick Linder, 12

10

34

wild flowers I went to rhis veqr special place That I haven't viited since I was a lit0e girl.

Tbere grows the mostgorgeous wild flowers I have evet seen.

Tbey c.heer rp mother wise sad and glmmy place.

Ciolden Yellow,

Velvety purple,

Ardjust

a

bit ofblue and orange.

Most people go there to moum, I go thece io cmmudcate, To continue a relatioship with the unloown living.

The beautiful flowers tend to smile as they

I enter through The rusty old wirc gate,

C-rreetme when

And walk overto tbe sone with

'Here lies RobertE. WhaleY" Engraved upon it.

By: JannaWbaley,12

madness Mad The word so sfunple, Yet so bold Its meanings aremany Is feelings are cold Words spoken witb madness are harsh They cut so deep - And are slow to beal

But madness can't alwaYs exPl,ain The way we feel It's just a substiute for wbat's not right When you can't expliain in true words What yon feel - Ithurts When no orc listenes - And no one cares And no one wanls 3o be there for You Madness destroys

By:

35

Stephanie Bon4 10

the mosch pit

dear davie, In Memory of David Jallles BenneB

Gt3-75 9-28-92

My thonghts wonder on witlout release, I can't find a way for the pain o cease.

You never loew my love for you,

I guess theres things I never lnew.

Tbe way you left and tbe time it cane, This made my heart feel so much shame.

Not for you and what you did, But for me and my hearts unloowing lid.

The sweat escaped his poes Slowly running down, defining every feature I shove throug! tbe crowd Desperately wanting o touch his face His jacket falls from his built body Gladly decration the dirt covered floor I see his effervescent eyes suddenly cbange Helplessly falling victim to the uncontrollable mob He rips on tbe masses CrueUy collaping to the wmld below The fallacious smiles veil this murder Unconciously crushing his feeble head The music cootinues to live Wrecklessly masking tbe incessant beu I tum away; the crowd bampers my fervor Sadly lmowing that now I cannot dance with him.

By: E<leEpperson,

ll

There isn't a day youhnot in my thonghts, or a time my feelings aretr't in Lnots.

I often cry myself to sleep, for you see my dear it you I keep.

I went to your grave not long ago, the flowers there was b,rown that showed.

By tbe way they laid and thier colorless faces, I could tell that I was the first there io gracâ&#x201A;Ź.

I remembered a time with you by my side, But your life washed away by a rising tide.

Recalling your happy disposistion and smile, If you were given an inch you took a mile.

But ofl this road of mile you took.

Nobody will ever be able to

relook'

die, lie' And a lie it will stay tiu that wonderful time, when onr hands grow together like our hearts in ois rnyme Please don't forget tbat for you my love won't tsec:usee to me your death is still a

By: Desiree Murphy, ll

war Desoration runs nrmpant.

Bodies uporned and buildings on fue' Tbe release of anger ends in a funeral pyre'

Man's incapabilities are magnified with each shot.

No respoct for one anotbec honor no longer exists' yte reigns as King and evil is his advisor' Commanders want more and more power, Fueled by human inadeqnacy the war rages on.

Many years later all signs of tbose who bauled have vanished.

V/as it worth it?

By:

J. Parick Linder, 12

36

the candle It It It It

sits alone in the darlness. wuches monsters race by. brigh0y glowing, stands motionless. will never lie.

tear

The fleeting moments pass, Like Oe timeless seasons 8one.

Silent in the it's stand of brass, Never wavering it warches the lawn.

Tbere's a tear in my eye ril/hy?

Is it tbe cold outside?

Or just me

Trying to cry?

The window is closed.

The stillness is security.

The vicious creature entered and browsed, Breaking &e fixed serenity.

It It It It

By:

Steve Bergeson, 12

watches with fear. watcbes with sadness. wonders if deatb is near. cringes with drea4 anticipation, and madness.

The creaurre is slow.

The creanre doesn't notice, The creature opens the window.

It will die like ftost on a lotus.

your anger

By: Anna Ankisson, l0

I hear your angry words Coming from all around me

I feel your anger rising

an ode to an enemy I tried to kill you But you just wouldn't die.

I'll load you with bullets And laugh while you cry.

So

You always have to win And ruin my everyday, So I have no choice

But to blow you away.

I lnow that I will End up in

jail

But at least this time

You'll

be the one to fail.

So kiss today good-bye,

And lomonow too.

Boy, arn I going to have fun When I kill you.

By: Jenny Heinicke,

3t

10

Flooding my every thought

I feel tbe bre*ze Of a flying vase I hear the crash of glass Against the wall behind me.

You hear my cries But ignore Oem You see my eyes Filled with sa&ress But you keep oo going.

By:

Sara Kirkpatrick, 12

my litfle one My Little One, I apologize.

I feel so weak and alone.

I wonder if you understand why I ook your fust breath?

The world out here is cold.

I was only sixteen, still a child myself.

I couldn't tell my mother, I could uever let her dowu.

Your father was a huge help and relief fa me.

We decided that if I had you I could never give you up and if I could never give you up you would have to stay with me and you see dading staylng with me all I could ever give you is

my love and in this world you cannot survive on love alone though I wish you could with all my beart.

I wonder to this day wbat you would be like: Brown hair and browu eyes like your mother?

Compassion and humor like your father?

Now even when I see a child

talking, running, and playing

I

sop

to look and see if I can sâ&#x201A;Źe you doing those things.

I close my eyes and in a stream of tears can see you talking, running, and playing, but Dot here on earth in heaven.

And maybe someday if He perrris I can come hold you, and feel your breatb, bear your heart beat and feel your wet tears.

fs

now my precious chil( you understand why I took your first brea&, I bope Maybe it was selfish of me, but it is done.

I hope you understand all the love I have and always will have for you.

I apolgize my darling, even hougb it could never bring you back.

But

By: Hollan4 12

38

Y---

-

\'+=r++-s\__-

whoopee cushins, ldoor of her grandplastic vomit, imothers house and fage doggie i she saw that there doo somebody in Jwas I bed with a nightca The Little Girl and i and nightgovin on. the

Wolf

I So the little girl

Thurber I toot an automatic i out of her basket "When the little I and shot the wolf girl opened the I dead."

James

I

39

let's live this life mart.

Today we strive o leave our ' Fortrne favors tbe bold;" let's see if this is Break away ftom the shadow of the Take a ctrancc and achieve new

how delicate is the cow? tue.

dart. heights.

We live the pesents to tbe fullest.

Meeting rcw people and fighting new f4Dts. Let's come and experience a brand new dawn.

The cow tbat walls the frel( amongst the uumberless blades of grass lnows not the destiny that has been laid out fa him.

He eaB ard eats as is tbe plan of tbe fates.

Smn he wiII be tbe meal.

Tbough he is as docile as a wbale we kill without a thought.

And by the taste only we judge bow delicate is the cow

Do it now for tmorrow may be gone.

By: Rob,12 By:

40

J. Parick Linder, 12

school School is a place where friendships are born;

Children glance at tbâ&#x201A;Źir grades tben sit and mourn, Scbool a fabulous place

o be

How is it took so long for me so see, Elucation is wrth 6s1s itren anything Teachers at my scbool show their interest in everthing, Thanlf,ul I am for the things I've leame4 In tbe en4 I have received what I have eamed.

Memories of a great scbool, An educarim that shall belp me swim in

trips It may be near, it may be far It's a uip into your head Each his own, fearful and dread Silent shadows cross your path Obsessions too far to grasp.

By:

Shane Ricketa, 12

Life's enormous pool.

By:

Shane Rickets, 12

untitled Youth is a time when dreams are fonnedWhen it seems life will never end But nothing can shatter your dreams And end your youthLike the death of a friend.

By:

Steve Bergeson, 12

'tis but a short bridge 'Tis but a short bridge o'er the deep ravine, and not laborious to cross.

Dumbstuck" I look carefully at this strange scene

and realize that I have lost.

Faintly the darlness called my name; and numbly I step upon the bridgeWhere nothing is the sane.

Death awaits on the otber side; Beckoning with arms outstretched.

I unwillingly abide and call life the wicked wretch.

The unkown surrounds me; It euelops my soul.

Reaching fa the end I learnMy life is the costly toll.

Witi fear I slowly turnAnd look carefully around.

The one-way bridge is gone; Here forever am I bound.

By:

empty page An empty page, An empty mind Nothing to wdte So I waste my time Stareing at an empty page.

By:

Steve Bergeson, 12

J. Parick Linder, 12

4t

the way it had to be It was a cool damp morning as strc rode over the green, velvet hills. She Ioved this time of the year. The ranch was so beautiful during springtime. The surroundings were blooming and fresh, full of energy and life. It was as if a person's environment could wake her ftom a winter slumber and energize their affinrde oward life. Her horse picked up speed as she began to think She swelled with a feeling of happiness. She felt satisfied with her

life.

Bringing her ride to a temporary end, she rode toward the red and white barn. There was a smell of fresh hay that surrounded her and drifted tfuough the spring afu. TtE carle in adjacent pens were fed and content as they chewed their cuds and auentively watched the glrl pull the leather bridle off the horse's head while the mare reached for some oats. The dog that had been running near the horse's heels for the entire journey chose to sit and catch his breuh during this routine. A cat tiptoed under the horse and found it's way to the young girl's leg. As the feline casually brushed against her boots, the girl took time to reach down and scratch its ears. Impatiently the horse's head dove one more time toward the pan of food and the dog twirched Ns ears to let out a yelp as he watctrcd in jealousy. After leading the animal into its stall on the east side of the barn, she reached up to tross some prairie hay in the stall and began to recall some peculiar activity that occured around the house several years ago.

She scoopedthecatinto herarms, signaledthe dogto followsuitandheadeddownthe walktothe small farmhouse.

As she remembered, she knew that this was a memory that will never leave her thoughts.

There was a stout manin a tailored suit coming ftom the front door with a leather briefcase in his hand, on a day much like today. There was a black shiny car parked in the gravel driveway thu he proceeded to get in and drive away without Stopping to say 'hi' to her.

Her curiosity hadrisen, simplybecausepeoplerarelycameouttothefarm, especially people she did notknow.

HerUainofthoughtwasintenuptedasshenoticedthelilacbushhadbeguntobloom, Thiswasherfavoritefeature of the season. The smell could brighten any obstacle she came across. Uving on the farm, she had to face few obstacles and problems. She enjoyed her herself even while performing what others called chores. When her grandfather cameoutof house, the soundofthescreendoor shutingremindedher againwhat shehadbeenthinking of earlier.

"Hey, Gramps !" strc said cheerfully as she skipped along side his short stride toward the barrl "Who was that man in the house?"

"Don't worr), about it. You have much befier things to do than worry like the adults," he said not giving her much information. "Have you checked all of the pastures?" he asked, changing the subject.

"Almost, we have one left. I just stop@ by to grab a snack," stle said with a sly smile, knowing they had just finished breakfast about an hour earlier.

Realizing the conversation was finished, she and her dog ran toward the house to get something to eat. They travelled over the stone pathway and opened the screen door at the kitchen.

"Hi, Grandma," she said with a twinkle in her eye. She had the ability to lighten up any room, no matter how

gloomy.

'lilhat areyou doing back already?" hergandmother asked as streproceededto cleanthe neverending messes that occur in the kitchen.

'Oh, I just stop@ by for a snack. We needed a rest."

As she left the small house to journey out in her make-believe world she analyzed ha grandparents. They sure seemed sEessed oul Why, she did not know. Part of her wanted to just forget about it and ride off into the sunset, but her curious side overcame her care-free side and she decided to investigue.

She heard her parents in the living room talking to her relatives on occasion. She also heard them on the phone talking to people that sounded important, but she was too young to sit and listen and too naive to know something was wrong. That was until the one day.

She can remember that day as if it were special to her. She remembers the calmness in her parents' voice. She remembers the tears. She especially remembers the words. They rang in her ears day and night. They drowned out the hot afternoons of that summer, the tears on her face, and the sound of hooves on their soil.

"We have to sell the farm." How could this be happening to her, her family, her animqls. This meant no more 42

horses, no more dogs, no more sunny afternoons. This meant no more farm. What was her life without it? Granted her life had not been as long as her grandparents' life on the farm. They were the ones who flrst worked the land, the first ones to build the barns, and the first ones to establish their family here, but she had never lived anywhere else. She knew no other way of living. She did not even enjoy going into the small town whereher elementary school was located. She felt too enclosed, too caged In town she could not let her spirit be free, she could not express her true feelings.

"Your father is looking for other jobs. The farm is not paying for itself anymore. Sweetie, the bank is going to take over the land because we can't pay the bills anymore." Her mother's voice wiN steady and lifeless. She sounded so rehearsed and fake. It seemed as though she had been planning this spegch for a long time. She guessed this problem was difficult and straining on her parents too, but she was sure they could not understand what she

was feeling.

The zummer months strolled past her without warning. She tried hard to forget the problems she had been faced with earlier. It seemed her goal was to make it through the summer by enjoying the things kids her age enjoy.

She rode her horse everyday as if it were her last ride ever. She flshed in every pond on the place just so the fish would not feel miss- teated. She constnrcted ttre greatest playhouse, yet She caught flreflies deep into the night as if they were going to leave. Leave like she would have to leave sometime soon. Sometime soon was what she was curious about. How soon? Again she tied to forget. She used her innocence as an escape. It was her mask to the world. Why would a young girl, without a care in the worl4 need to worry about something as heavy as a bank foreclosing on a small farm in the heartland of America? It was easy for her to forget when no person or no thing reminded her about the 'situation'.

It was a hot summer afternoon when she was walking toward the house, her dog at her heels and a friendly cat in her arms. As she reached the flimsy scr@n door and began to open it, she thought she could hear her grandmother in the kitchen. It sounded as though she was crying. She had never seen her grandmother cry before, or any adults in her life, for that matter. Her initial thought was true. Her grandmother was sitting in the hard wooden chair leaning over the dining table with her head in her hands sobbing. She was now shocked and confused. What should stre do? Before she could act on her instincts her grandmother noticed her enfrance.

'What are you doing, Honey?" she asked desperately trying to cover up her current actions.

Confused on how to answer she hesitated with a response. "I-I-I just came in to get something for dad." She did not ask any questions but her grandmother could see the inquisitive wonder in her eyes as she stood in the doorway of the kitchen.

"The bank just called," her grandmother responded in a short manner that seemed to answer all of her questions. response before she left, forgetting what she came to retrieve for her dad.

After that day, things seemed to go down hill for her family and for herself. She came home one day to find a For-Sale sign in her front yard. It just sat there, stuck in her yard as a daily reminder to what lay ahead in her

"Oh." That was her only

future. The day stre discovered that dreadful sign she ran tho the barn and sobbed in the hayloft until she felt strong enough to face the world. Her parents later informed her that her father had been asked to attend some job interviews. This did not seem to bother her like she thought it might until she discovered most of the jobs were

notlocatednearthefarmorhergrandparents.

Shesecretlyhopednoonewouldwanttobuytheirhouse,shethought

her mother felt the same.

Then the open houses began. She became very hard to get along with; she would not help her parents clean the house and threw fits when they were forced to 'disappear' from the house for a couple of hours at a time when the Realtor had a buyer who wanted to look at the house. No person or family was good enough for her house and no other kid could stay inher room.

As it seemed her life was on the downside and gadually getting worse, something changed. To this day she cannot recall exacfly what turned their situation around, but it has made an impact on her life that will never disapp,ear or be removed.

The endless job interviews finally took a turn for the better and her father was offered a well-paying job that

fit the qualifications. Although it was not possible for the family to stay in the small farming community they were adapted to, it was possible for them to commute to the farm on the weekends.

The bank would not budge on the bills and interest that just kept accumulating, but the family sought help

he was interested in and

43

elsewhere. The Farm Credit Union, that had helped many of their neighbors agreed to help the family financially.

This enabled them to keep the farm that had been such as treasure and a way of life.

The entire clan pulled together to keep the home place running and to keep the bills under control. They were a success. She still has her horse, her dog, her land, her farm, and her family. Though she is unable to ride as often as before, occasionally the neighbors can still see the Three Musketeers on the velvet green hills that overlook her

farm.

The experiences that have shaped her history have also straped her future. She will never forget how she and her family have fought to keep the land that shaped her childhood alive with time. She will never forget how unemotional outsiders can act that are unaware of family's ties. And she will never forget how much she appreciates the land and all that people have done to keep it in her life.

Now that she is older, matured,.and not living with her parents, strc has a family of her own. The 'new' branch of the family Uee was also once unattached and unaware of the farm's importance. The farm has become a vein of enjoyment, pleasure, and satisfaction to all the members of this generation and most likely the heritage will

continue as time goes by.

By: Valeri Crenshaw,

12

photograph by julie liming

44

for it is not yet dark Along narrow road sanding silently before me With many paths teading to many different dreasts.

It is tbe road behind me that I know the best, And what bas brought me here thet has scared me the most.

At the end of my road I believe there is a field Of dreams to come true And keeping broken promises left behind.

I lnow not wbere I'm going Only of a dim ligbt that I must follow.

And believing in my self For it's not yet dark.

By:

Stacey Jones, 12

srn$ng To sing, To raise my voice in song.

Oh, what ecstasy.

Oh, how I long,

I long I long

o o

scream and shout. whisper to the wind.

As long as I can sing,

I Inow what life's about.

By: Anna Aukisson, l0

aids Boy mees girl, They dance and twirl.

Date goes great and all, Eacb one is having a ball.

How do I explain this lifelong mistake?

Says the Wiseman as be sits and contemplates.

"This may not be the best" he says to his magical friend, But, if I don't say sourething this could be their end.

Here goes...

A tisket" a taskeL Wear a condom or a casket.

By:

Shane Rickets, 12

45

growing up in today A generation of children seeking themselves, I-ooking back as fm they lmow rcthing of their fuure.

Role models sâ&#x201A;Źems to be few and forgotten, The past is obscured and rotten.

Where shall tommorrow take us, Extinct may be things of yesterday such as a bus.

How do you bring reassurancâ&#x201A;Ź !o a young boy's eyes As be looks up at the chaos of oay's world?

Good is few and far between, While evil is all thal is reprasented and seen.

Growing up in such a world may be the hardest Task a person is yet to face, So many problems dominate Oe news In tbis young race.

More so then in the past?

Yes I'm afraid so and escalating fast.

Wbere have morals gone of days past due?

Why is it individuals are murdered for a simple sboe?

Self-destination is not far behind, We must pray tht somehow this won't Happen to our kind.

By:

Shane Rickets, 12

misfortune It just isn't fair a boy says to his father, \Ir'by has life become such a bother?

Croals lost without control, Accecpance is squirming in hbllsml.

Never can he change that fate, Feetings for Life inspires hate.

He must now clange his desting, Wbo will hetp him to see?

Cring individuals help o ease the pain, But never will be escape this down pour of rain.

By:

Shane Ricketts, 12

the little duckling 'I-iule duckling,

are you lost?"

A farmer asked the youth.

'No kind sir. Although I say,

poetry Poetry explains the unexpliainable, Turns words into feelings often unattainable.

This is a gift from you to me, Take a look at what I have constructed fm you to see.

By:

Shane Rickets, 12

Your horse has lost a tooth."

In reply the farmer said 'My little friend you are quite rigbt.

No wonder he was kicking so, All througb the night.

You should be rewarded For your observant eyes."

"No, No!" cried the duckling in surprise.

I deserve no reward for a deed such as that."

With this the farsrer grabbed the youth And stuffed him in his bat.

A gasp escaped the ducklings bill For he lmew He would be killed.

He fied to reason with the sun, To tell him he was wrong To want a scraffily duckling Who wasn't very strong, But the farmer didn't listen While sbarpening his hife, Although the little duckling Was pleading for his life.

CHOP!! THUD!!

The duckling now has nothing to &ead For be's in the oven Coolced and dead.

46

By: Jennifer Stahr, 10

ode to an empty coca-cola can useless, lying on tbe ground. The poor Coca-Cola can felt used. Someone had just taken whu they wanted from him tben throwu the empty sbeU o the ground, his heart, empty and sad.

Heartb,roken be felt no will to go on with life. He lnow he could have no farther purpose in life but to be the defenseless flotsam tossed uncontrollably in the beartless wind to finally land in the gutler. He felt powedess to fight &is dismal destiny. He looked tho the beavens to ask for relief from this tragic future but as he looked up he found a magical sign that gave hope and courage to continue. The symbol of the arrows. It gave him a goal fm which to strive. Desperately he auempted o ctimb the barrel, however this was extremely difircult since be was devoid of arru and hands. He searcbed for assistance, but to no avail. Suddenly a great hand appeared to lift him to the heights which he had failed to

tpst, alone discarded

reach on his own. Lovingly this hand placed him gently in the recycling bin.

Exalted the can lmked up to graciorsly thank tbe h^nd that had saved bim from the bleak gutter life tbat had previously faced him, but the band had already disappeared from the horizon. The little can filled witb joy at the thought of being useful once more. He kaew the pain of being rejected would probably be repeated but he was not beld back by this because he realized his usefulness had not come to an end but a beginning. He looked forward to his bright new fuu:re and ho@ someday he would meet the hand from the heavens that saved him.

Moral: Give

a Coke can back his self-esteem-Recycle!

By: Amy Wacholtz,

12

47

what a ride Life in like

a

roller coaster,

Unpredictable yet so bewitched in forrr.

One minute you're high in the air, The next moment you plunge into a dark abyss.

Screaning with fright you can'r exit the ride.

The scare gives a momenory high Unextinguishable to tbe memory.

Wby do they both have to be so short.

By:

J. Parick Linder, 12

dreams

travels

Dreams are what keep us alive.

For without tbem, we would not strive To make this sick world what we want.

Open your minds and you will see,

Travel to the distant fantasy Blissful reminders of how things used to be lose yourself in tbe forest

That your dreams are right in reach.

As soon as you see them, take a bold And you will find tbey make you bold.

Once you have them don't let go

For if you do, our will is sold.

The will to live, which keeps us strong Will pass you by, just like a song.

By:

48

Jason Bickham, 12

regain a soul, fly the tortose Come take a rip to the unlmown a joumey like none have flown A place one can't perceive an island spot a wonder to believe.

By:

Shane Ricketts, 12

*G.c'rF

---!.\

Dâ&#x201A;Ź, myself, and

y

i

,----L_r

-+-rr-L-+,-

I

I

' j loaf atmy ease observing Walt Whitman a spear of summer grass.

I

"Song of Myself

I

"I celebrate myself, and I what I assume you shall assume, for every atom I I

belonging to me as good i belongs to you. I loaf and I invite my sotf]gan and I ===-'_=<-.-a$ffi-+5a I

4g

no title I am tbe sensitive poet- I an the rising mmn Underneatb the sunshine, in tbe hazy gloom AII alone, but totally free Walking silently beside the sea Can you see the way I feel?

Muffle the cries don't hear the cheers, as everything turns to fear.

By:

Sarah Hopper,9

i fell among the shadows I fell among the shadows, Floated through dreams unknown, Plunged into the depths of darkness, Descended within the world of imagination, Until I forgot the world of reality, And embraced the gentle night.

By: Rebecca Brooks,

emotion Where, I ask, is tbe peace all search for

but so few find?

How can I not become biBer an cymcal toward the world?

Dsappointment heaped upon disappointment weigh down my fragile soul.

Life's indifference shocks me and makes me question why Do I think too much and accept too little?

Nay, say I I continue to question, to seacrb for truth, Love, emotion, passion, music, and imagination Satisfy me and ease the harshness of Iife.

Perbaps these simple things contain all Oe truths of tbe world.

By: L. Parick Linder, 12

50

1O

time

north dakota

What a time I live in.

What a wsld this is.

Loving seeru a sin.

Damnation caused by kiss.

I'll shut tbe otbers out.

I'll, alone, be fine.

Let tbe otbers doubt.

Ligbt, my own will shine.

Others may join me.

Otbers may come.

They'll soon come to see.

And the bad they will shun.

Tbe litile wood dock off the pond, Is where I bent my legs over and sat rod and reel, I waited for a fsh to bite my worm, Feeling feelings I di&r't lnow I could feel!

Tbe fish would greet me so warmly, I couldn't bear to think of catching one, So I'd throw my pole down, Cuch the wind and run Then I'd run tbrough tbe fields and trees, tbe paths that followed as if drifting on the breeze Hoping the wind would open up and swallow...

Purity and grage, Alone sball remain.

Me.

Hate and disgrace,

Climing the branches on my family ree and feeling

Will bow o

the brain.

Me. Me. Me. The time will be new.

The world will be free.

Intentions will be true.

All

starte<l

By: MelanieThiesseu

ll

by me.

By: Anna Attkisson, 10

end of resistance My spirit is free and I feel young, Yet soon-too soonieath's carillon sh^ll [s rung.

Why is life so flepting and bard to catch?

Vainly I chase after it with an empty clutch and clasp Finally, I give up and live only an empry routine, Life has won again, yet we call death the fiend My soul is broken and tbe baule is over, Never again shall I sniff the sweet clover, My will is cmshed-I feel so wealq Independerre nevermore shall I seek Life has beaten me, submissively I heel, My wounds fester and shall nsver beal By: Patrick

J.

Linder, 12

51

the rest of her life It was raining that morning. This made her somewhat relieved. She used the tiny drops of rain to mask the tears that were streaming down her soft innocent checks. It was a cool damp morning as she wandered down the lifeless street. Her feet were sure that she had a destination that dark morning, but her heart was in doubt.

As she embraced herself to take off the chill she felt within, she thanked someone for the rain. She was unsure who to thank, for this was yet anottrer thing that her heart was doubting. precipitation was her disguise, although it was a weak disguise. Anyone who -The looked into her eyes would know, those deep green eyes could tell the story. Tliose sad eyes that used to fill with laughter were now unraveling a story that torg a teenager's life apart. The story that ripped a child out of a protective, sheitered world and thier.r' her into the cold world of adulthood. This world treated her like something she was nor, gave her no pity, no guidance, simply demands, decisions, reiponsibilitl,... an adult, -a1d What could she do? Here she was, there was no escaping it.

Here she was. Wandering, thinking, guessing, seeking. Seeking what? Knowledge? The only knowledge that could help her was experienie; real lifE, cut-throat living. Nothing else could teach her how to be herself, how, to find out who 'herself' was.

"How did I get here?" she questioned aloud. She was not speaking of destination, she walked this route two or three times a day, just not with such complicated emotions.

No, she was not speaking of destination, but perhaps situation.

A situation h'as defiantly what was pulling at her heart and slapping her soul. It was a situation that kept her awake at night, kept her from eating and kept her in tears.

Did anyone know? She tried to keep her feeling and hurting inside, away from humiliation, attention, ridicule and possibly away from help.

Did anyone care? That was a difficult question for her to analyze. She knew her parents and family loved her and her friends felt the same, but no one knew about her

'situation'.

What about him? This was the real question. Did he remember? Does he care?

Does he even know? Will he ever...

She could stand it no longer. Her heartbeat raced as she gasped for more air. ul can't handle this, " she shouted as she clenched her fists. Her feet picked up the pace as she glanced at her wrist. She wanted to make it there before anyone with iigns Jhon,ed up. "No one can change my mind," she muttered. She continued on, deep in thought.

Nothing distracted her as she journeyed there. "I'm making the right choice," shi assured herself one more time.

As she opened the door she began to shake. She felt like a child in a maze with no way out. The door shut behind her as the child inside her grew to an even smaller size.

The clinic smelled sanitized, informal and large. She felt more alone than she ever had before. There was no turning back now. She did not feel trapped, just hopeless. She looked around at the plush chairs and used magazines as the receptionist smiled.

She told the woman behind the desk her name breathlessly. She srarred to bite her with nervousness when she looked for a seat. The room was spinning and began to swallow her as she started to remember...

It was a damp, dark evening. She was so nervous. She was wearing the thirteenth outfit she had tried on that afternoon. Maybe that was whar ir was- if she had stopped at twelve or gone on to fourteen. This was not the first time she had resorted to pulling at straws.

He came to pick her up right on time. He seemed so nice, her parents even approved. Of course the;,had no idea how old he was. She believed u'hat thel,did not knon'could not hurt them- funny how ironic that seemed now, as she sat in the stale waiting room.

52

She had no idea what was ahead of her that evening. She simply knew her friends envied her, her parents approved, she was ecstatic and he was a 'college guy .

As she shut the porch door behind them she felt she was ready for anything. " Ready for anything..." the words rang in her ears like a child's scream curring through the still night. She knew she was not ready for what happened that chilly evening and she was not sure she was ready for anything today.

She remembered how calm he was. He could see through her cool exterior, her high school innocence. She guessed he knew she was not what he erpected. Who was she foolingT She was mature but she was not in college, she was not experienced, she was not ready. She knew that now.

She could almost feel the damp air on her skin as he drove her in silence.

The radio was playing a slow romantic song. He had a grin splashed across his face.

That grin was on her mind all day, when she slept, even when she tried to forget. Was her mind playing tricks on herT Everywhere she goes the men around her have that grin on their faces and the women... The women's faces are blank. Clear, nothing, as if someone has erased their faces along with their identity.

The landscape flew by as their journey continued, in silence. "Think of something to say," she instructed herself. Why was everything so strained tonight?

Simple conversation, movement,everything came with difficulty. His car bounded down a country road and he kept driving. Trees, fences, fields, telephone poles and as occasional farm house flashed by her view in the passenger's seat of the car. uWhere are we goingT" she tormented again. She could just ask him, but something about tonight made her shy and nervous toward him.

"Here we are," he said with a smile as he pulled his car over. They were off the road past a little path, through a group of trees in an opening. The ground around the car looked as though it had already been planted with seed and was obviously owned by a nearby farmer. The scenery was dark and erie, her stomach began to churn. She had a terrible feeling about his situation and he could read it across her face.

"C'mon let's get in the back, it'll be fun," he persuaded as the grin on his face made her skin crawl. When she refused his invitation his disposition changed. He became rough with her but never lost that hideous grin.

She remembered that night with a chill. Her screaming made her shake and did nothing but irritate him. No one came to save her, no one helped her. Where was i er knight- in-shining arrnour that night? Where was he now ?

Why her? What possessed him that night? Did he know? These questions continued to eat at her nerves night and day.

Her thoughts were internrpted by a woman wearing white. The nurse softly called her name. As she slowly rose and walked toward the rest of her life, the story began to fade from her memory. She used to have many dreams and expectations for herself and for her future. None of these plans included losing her virginity in the back seat of a car and becoming pregnant...

By: Valeri Crenshaw,

12

53

what's wrong today?

gone

I know all the answers

Wberc am I?

How are you today?

Why does my body not move?

I have no feeling in my legs, my aflns, my soul,

Great.

They leave me alone

I give all the answers What is wrong today?

Nothing.

Again I'm left alone They want to hear these answers.

Are you feeling well?

Yes.

They're glad to leave me alone

I don't want to give these answers want to say not good want to say I'm stressed want to say I'm not

Is this deuh?

Trapped here for an eternity in a pine box?

I do not undersand...

Why am I here?

Where are my answers?

The truth?

Death was so simple, The easy way,

Lord, wby did I pull the trigger?

By:Iogan,

12

They don't want my roubles They don't want my cares These answers satisfy people, because they don't really care.

By: Eric Parls, 12

unknown Wbat will I become wben I graduate?

It

seems like yesterday when I was a freshman.

I'll be graduuing tomorow

How time went so fast" Who am I?

Everyone I met and became good friends with will go in seperate ways Will I bâ&#x201A;Ź wondering this 5 maybe l0 years from now?

Who am I? ... What will I become?...

Am I wabt people Oought or wanted me to be?

Who gives a Damn, I'm me!

By: Brian Riley, 12

54

a story "Come on! WAI(E UP! PLEASE!" i screamed at the top of my lungs at tlre seemingly lifeless body laying on the mat in front of me. I looked up in desperation towards the crow( and yelled out, "WI{ERE'S TIIE AMBULANCE?!" Just then I saw Hans Jodelink forcing his way tfuough the ropes towards the ring, where the man who used to be his best friend lay unconscious, having collapsed during the middle of his biggest fight As i waited to greet the man who I had believed would put my name, Bob Cvrtnik, on every boxing magazine cover in America, I heard the shouts of the announcers, shouting instructjons to their cameramen and scurrying to get the proper angle. Al Bernstien was at the fore with the ESPN camera crew showing the entire scene. We all expected big things for Fred after ESPN decided to higilight "Fredrick Umgar, the next European World Champion." Now, it seemed that ESPN would be able to highlight, "Frederick Umgar, tIrc next dead boxer."

"BOB! It was Philcox, was it not? WAS IT NOT?!" exclaimed Hans as he climbed through the ropes towards me.

"I don't know, Hans. I just don't know." I replied, trying to calm down a man who I never thought I would see exploding with outward emotion.

My first impression of Hans had stayed with me ever since he and his best friend Frederick U Umgar walked into my liftIe gym. If there was one work to describe Hans, it would have to be "tough". He had come with Fred to the gym all tlrc way ftom his homeland of Germany. Losing his parents at an early age, and then having his brother leave to work in a Volkswagen plant were just a few of the hardships that Hans had to endure as a child. The constant lonliness he faced hardened in into an independent, self-sufficent machine who did not maintain contacts for long periods of time. The way Fred told us, Fred was the only person to ever be close to Hans. The two were actually close friends, although it was difficult to explain why.

Whereas Hans had come from a difficult family situation, Fred came ftom a quaint household of a "Vater, Mutter, und meinen Schwester." While Hans seemed cautious reseryed, Fred was comparatively a madman.

He never thought about consequences, keeping his mind only on what felt good right now.

As far as fighting is concerned. I never met anyone with more raw talent than Hans. His first round of sparring in the gym was somewhat a success. He stepped in against me, ( I find that the only way to test a new boxer is to see what he's got myselD, and introduced his right hand to my jaw. I woke up ten seconG later, with my head still spinning and my thoughts clouded over. After I cleared my head, I made the decision to train Hans from outside the ring from then on. Fred, and it surprised me that he was this strong, made a less spectacular, but nonetheless auspicious debut as he suddenly decked my biggest sparring man after being rhythmically picked apart for three rounds. Needless to say, the excitement of having two fantastjc prospects overwhelmed me. I suppose sEanger things have happened. After all, look at me, a college graduate, training boxers.

It didn't take long for word to spread about the two Germans knocking out opponents in the gym, and not more than two weeks after Hans' frst fight, a second-round knockout victor, I saw the dominating mug of Cyrus Philcox enter my world.

"Where are these undefeated futrue champs I keep hearing about? I want to make these boys champions.

I can get them to places you could never dream of. Of course, you can come along as their trainer, but with my facilities and connections, we'll have these boys moving up tlte ranks like a pair of rockets. Cyms' first words didn't surprise me, since I knew well of his loquaciousness and ability to put on a show. I welcomed Cyrus in and had a boy fetch a beer for him. Hans and Fred came in shortly and sat down with us.

"Hans, Fred this is Mr. Cyms Philcox, the promoter, He wants to..."

"I want !o make you boys champions! You two have the muscle,I can give you the hustle. We'll have you on national TV faster than you can count to ten. Just sign here and I'll take you, with Mr. Cvrtnik, of course, to my state-of-the-art training center, where you can train alongside champions like Roberto Juarez, the WBO super-lightweight champion. All you have to do is follow my doctor's instructions, fight, and rake in all the money and the glory you want." This rude intem.rption only heightened the tension in the air. I had heard several cases of boxers who claimed Philcox hurt their careers, and that his so-called doctor was nothing more than a druggist with steroids and pain-killers, but these cases had never been more than hearsay,

55

and I knew that this could boost both Hans and Fred's career quickly up. Consequently, I remained silent while Hans and Fred discused the maner in German. Although I knew only a smattering of German, I soon realized that Hans had apparently heard the same stories I had, and had reservations about signing immediately. After about two minutes of this, Hans turned to Cyrus, and sigrrcd the paper in ftont of him. Fred immediately followed suit, and the next week, I found myself with them in the middle of what looked like the gym Ivan Drago from Rocky V tained in.

Two days after arriving in "Training Camp", Hans came to my hotel room !o discuss matters. Hans looked like he had a lot on his mind, but in his usual reserved manner, he refused to speak fteely. I finally started the conversatjon myself, "So Hans, what do you think of the gym?"

"Bob, it is tenible Today, Fred and I went to the doctor Philcox wanted us to see. He wants us to take steroiG, and use illegal pain-killers. I don't want to do this."

"It's my fault, Hans. I heard some stories like this awhile back. I stroud've listened to them, and stop@ you from signing that contract."

"That is OK Bob. You could not have known that those stories were true. My concern now is for Fred.

He has agreed to take these drugs. He will not listen to reason, he only listens to what Philcox tells him.

Philcox tells him that using these drugs will make him champion, and Fred is starting to believe him," "What are you going to do?"

"I do not know, Bob. I do not know."

The next day, I stood at the door of the locker room, where inside a spirited exchange was going on between Hans, Fred, and Philcox. I was about to enter the room when I heard lhe voices, and realized that they had already been talking for a few minutes.

Cyms began, "Come oru Hans, it's just one little fight. I can still make you champ. Just think of the money we'll make when you lose!"

Hans replied, "But it is not right to cheat other people like thalk" Fred's unmistakable nasal tone began, "Listen to Cynrs, Hans! You cannot let the morals of the past inlluence you today."

Cynts boomed, "Yes! Listen to Fred, Hans. He's not letting anyone make decisions for him! He's going to do this because he figured it out on his own! He didn't listen to someone trying to overly inlluence him!

What's right, Hans, is up !o you, and only you. Believe me, Hans, when you get the money from that fight you won't worry about ethics!"

Hans responded, "Sorry Cynrs, but I can't do this."

Cyrus exploded, almost blowing open the doors of the room, "Hans! You signed a contract with me! If

you don't fight with me, then you don't fight!"

"Then I don't fighl Goodbye," answered Hans as he opened the door to where I had been listening a second before. "I am sorry, Bob, but I must leave."

I hadn't head from Hans since, not even a phone call when Fred's fight on ESPN was announced, but I surmised that he would be at that casino come the big night.

Meanwhile, at the camp, Cyrus remained true to his work, keeping Fred in the highlight reels even afier he was upset by journeyman Marcus Taylor. Fred received his portion of the draw for that fight, and proceeded to live higtl He bought a lavish apartment, a new Porsche, and a fur for every girl he dated. Of course, we all knew that nvo of his girlfriends later became pregnant, but Fred talked one into having an abortion, and denied the other's existence. Being so close to him everyday, I slowly saw him transformed from an innocent kid into an unhappy, disgruntled man, jaded by too much freedom and money. He always tried to give the impression of having a great time, but more and more often I saw him sitring alone in the locker room, with a roubled expression inscribed on his brow. Cynrs saw this a well, and knew exactly what was going on in his mind.\ Whenever Cynrs caught Fred in one of these mood swings, he told him again that it was just Hans' old fashioned rubbish bothering him, and that he strould Usten to his own conscience, not lening others influence him. I soon became sick of this routine, as it was clear to me that Cynrs had become Fred's conscience. Deep inside, Fred knew what he was, and what he was doing, and he hated it. As long as Cynrs was around, however, Fred could all too easily be talked into a mode of submission. I wanted to stop this, but I needed the money that the ESPN fight would bring. Now I only wish I had thought more about

56

Fred's life than money.

As I looked up ftom Fred's body,

I

saw Hans moving towards Cynrs, who had just climbed through the

ropes.

"NO HANS, DON'T' I screamed towards the mass of enraged muscle heading for a a kill. It was too late. The two stood eye to eye for a moment, then Hans sent Cynrs out of the ring with an uppercut that made me wince. The police on hand quickly grabbed him and ran him out to their car, while the ambulance srew finally arived.

Fred was pronounced DOA at the hospital, victim of a heart failure. Cyrus denied any knowledge of Fred's steroid intake, and the doctor had mysteriously disappeared. Perhaps fearing for his reputation, Cyrus dropped the charges against Hans, and left town to go suck the life out of another kid- I moved in with Hans for awhile, but I soon got another gym going with kids hitting the bag from dawn till dusk. Hans never got me on magazine covers, but maybe he got me something betrer, honor.

By:

Stephen Hutchins, 12

57

to find a way

untitled

The tragedy of a conformist.

The vistory of an individual.

The emptiness of never fitting-in.

The courage to stand alone.

To break the mold and not fit the person.

The loneliness of a deserted island.

The glory of an original.

A never ending struggle of conciousness, To live miserable or happy, Alone or slightly outside.

Will I ever find my way?

A way of my own, A people of my own, A heart like my own, Away from the struggle.

Will I ever find peace, security, belonging, or...

Is that my purpose?

To struggle this question, Never to find an answer.

Or, do I lie...?

To myself and to others, just to belong.

Am I n'rong to stick to my heart?

Am I wrong to struggle?

Should I be a mindless sheep, A placeless individual, Or a miserable creature?

Looking over my pastWondering about my future-

Somebody help me, guide me, tell me, teach me.

I want to, I need to, Must Know!!!

By: Anna Attkisson,

10

PUSHONWARD Aim your mark to the etemal eyes of heaven, The stars call fs you to begin your joumey, Pusb ever onward in you search fm peace, Never stopping to rest, to ease the pain Push onward Push onward

o the brink:

past science.

'til pure emotion in your sulan,

Your master-love, hate, joy, sadness Tbese are they keys o life Hide not the passion of your soul, but Embrace it as the key o life

By:

58

J.

ParickLinder,

12

Is this what youth is about Is this whu life is about

By:

Steve Bergeson, 12

LIME. COLORED BELL BOTTOMS I was born in a clothing factory on the lower east side of New York City, a pair of lime colored Bell Bottoms, adopted by an l8-year old college student for 20 bucks in 1974.I went dancing and partying every weekend to ttre sounds of d.isco fever. Every Thursday I was lathered and rinsed to keep my polyester skin shining.

By ttre 1980's my appearance was no longer valued. Forced into retirement I was put into a rest home called the D.A.V. People just walked by and poked fun at my dirry unwashed appearance, I was only worth 2 dollars.

Then one day in 1992, a fashion designer, Gaballi, walked into the thrift shop on 3rd and 50th in Manhattan and spotted me. He said how fabulous I looked and offered me popularity and success in the fashion industry. I was so star struck, I jumped for joy and almost ripped at the seams.

Today I am shown off on the runways of France, Milan, and New York City with a mere price tag of $5000.

By:

Zack Huggins, l

l

59