BEHIND THE SCENES
LAYOUT & DESIGN
JSWING216
CHARLIE
W H A L T
L I F E ?
You may be wondering why we’v decided to launch a magazine. That’s fair question! If you’re familiar with us you know that we host one of the nation’s top podcasts on non-monogamy and get millions of views monthly on social platforms like TikTok, Instagram, and Clapper.
So why add something else to our plate and start a digital magazine? The truth is, ALT Life Magazine isn’t about us. It’s about you and the community of people who have a message to share and need a platform to do it.
This magazine is for people who may not be able to put themselves out there publicly on social media due to fear of judgment and backlash. Our journey since 2021 into becoming social media influencers for the alternative lifestyle community, the one thing that’s remained consistent is the community and the people that encompass it.
are some of e people on the planet. The world needs to hear your stories, to get to know you, to fall in love with you like we have.
Our hope is that if they can see you for who you truly are, then perhaps the hate, the stigma, and the discrimination will come to an end.
We believe one of the best ways to do that is to do what we’ve pledged to do from the beginning; to shine a little light on the community.
So, we’d like to encourage all of you to contribute, to share your stories, to be heard.
We want you to be able to show the world how truly amazing and valuable this community is. We hope that one day we can all come out of the darkness and not have to live in fear.
How Power Imbalances Fuel Cuckolding Fantasies
BY NE
Cuckoldingisnotjustaboutthethrillofvoyeurismorsexualexploration;itis edin theallureofpowerimbalancesandtheseductivestingofhumiliation.Fo y dynamictapsintoapotentmixofsubmission,control,andvulnerability,makingitoneofthe mostpsychologicallyintenseanderoticallychargedkinksintheBDSMspectrum.
Incuckolding,poweriscurrency.Thedominantpartner,whethera"hotwife,""hothusband," orcommandingfigure,holdsthereinsofpleasureandauthority.Thesubmissive,embracing theirroleasacuckoldorcuckquean,willinglyrelinquishestheirsenseofcontrolandequality, findingarousalinfeelingsofinadequacy,shame,andexclusion.Thisexchangefuels fantasiesthatthriveontheintricatedanceofdegradationanddesire.
TheAnatomyofPowerImbalance
Atitscore,cuckoldingembodiesadeliberateandconsensualdistortionoftraditional relationshipdynamics.Eachparticipantplaysacarefullyconstructedrole,amplifying theirpositioninthehierarchy:
TheDominant(HotwifeorHothusband) TheThirdParty
Theserelationshipscanoffermoreflexibilitythanmonogamousrelationships.Thisis becausetheycanbetailoredtomeettheindividualneedsanddesiresofthepartners involved.
The"bull"or"cuckcake"isnotjustapassiveparticipant;theybecomeanextensionofthe dominant’spower.Byembodyingqualitiesthatthesubmissivemaylack beitphysical prowess,charisma,orsheeraudacity theyheightenthehumiliation.Theirpresence servesasalivingreminderofthesubmissive’s"inferiority."
TheSubmissive(CuckoldorCuckquean)
Thesubmissivethrivesintheirrolebyembracingfeelingsofpowerlessnessanderotic shame.Theymayendureverbalteasing,betaskedwithactsofservice,orevenwitness theencounterfirsthand,alldesignedtodeepentheirsenseofdegradation. Thispowerimbalancecreatesalayeredpsychologicalexperience,wherearousalis intertwinedwithfeelingsofinadequacyandlonging.
1. 2. 3.
TheRoleofHumiliationinCuckolding
Humiliationisthelifebloodofcuckoldingfantasies.Itintensifiesthesubmissive’s arousalbyemphasizingtheirlowerstatuswithinthedynamic. Wordshavepower,andincuckolding,theyarewieldedlikeaweapon.Phraseslike "You’renotenoughforme"or"Theysatisfymeinwaysyounevercould"cutdeep, reinforcingthesubmissive’srolewhileignitingtheirdesire.
VerbalDegradation
PhysicalExclusion
Watchingtheirpartnerwithanotherorbeingdeniedsexualintimacyentirelydrives homethesubmissive’sperceivedinadequacy.Theactofbeinganobserverratherthan aparticipantmagnifiesfeelingsofhelplessnessandsubmission.
SymbolicActs
Taskslikepreparingthespace,servingdrinks,orcleaningupafterwardemphasizethe submissive’sservitudeandreinforcetheirinferiorrole.
Formany,theseactsofdegradationarenotaboutpainbutpleasure arisingfromthe surrenderofprideandtheembraceofvulnerability.
WhyWeCravePowerImbalances
Theallureofcuckoldingliesinitsabilitytopushemotionalandpsychological boundariesinasafe,consensualenvironment.Itallowsparticipantstoexplore feelingsthatareoftenconsideredtaboo:jealousy,inadequacy,andevenrejection.
FortheSubmissive:Thehumiliationofbeing"lessthan"canbecathartic.By relinquishingtheiregoandembracingtheirrole,theyfindliberationinsubmission andaheightenedsenseofarousal.
FortheDominant:Exercisingcontrolovertheirpartnerandshowcasingtheir desirabilityaffirmstheirpositionofpower.Theabilitytoorchestratesuchan emotionallychargeddynamicisbothempoweringanddeeplysatisfying.
FortheThirdParty:Beingthefocalpointofdesireandsuperiorityaddsitsownlevel ofexcitement,cementingtheirroleasavitalpartofthepowerstructure.
NavigatingtheDynamicsSafely
Cuckoldingfantasiesmaythriveonpowerimbalancesandhumiliation,buttheyrequirea foundationoftrust,communication,andconsenttobehealthyandfulfilling.
SetClearBoundaries
Discussthelanguage,actions,andscenariosthateachparticipantiscomfortablewith. Noteveryoneenjoysthesameintensityofdegradation,andlimitsmustberespected.
Check-InRegularly
Whilehumiliationispartofthedynamic,emotionalsafetyiscrucial.Regularcheck-ins ensurethatnoonefeelsgenuinelyharmedordevaluedbeyondtheircomfortzone.
EmbraceAftercare
Afterscenesinvolvingintensehumiliation,aftercarehelpsrestoreemotionalbalance.This mightincludereassurance,affirmations,orphysicalclosenesstoreaffirmtheconnection betweenpartners.
Cuckoldingthrivesonthedelicateinterplayofpowerandsubmission,degradationand desire.Forthosewhoembraceit,thekinkisawaytoexplorethedepthsoftheirfantasies whilestrengtheningthetrustandintimacyintheirrelationships. Powerimbalances,whenconsensualandwell-negotiated,becomeaplaygroundfor eroticexploration,transformingvulnerabilityintoanunparalleledsourceofpleasure.Inthe end,cuckoldingislessaboutwhat’shappeningphysicallyandmoreabouttheemotional andpsychologicalcurrentsthatdriveit—atantalizingdescentintodegradingdesire.
NOTE:Whilehumiliationanddegradationarecommonthemesinsomecuckolding dynamics,theyarenotuniversaltoeveryscenario.Cuckoldingisahighly customizablekink,andtheroles,boundaries,andemotionsinvolvedvarygreatly betweenindividualsandrelationships.Forsome,thefocusmaybeoncomparison (findingjoyintheirpartner’spleasure),sexualexploration,orotheraspectsofpower dynamicswithoutanyelementsofhumiliationordegradation.
Aswithanykink,communication,consent,andmutualrespectareessential.Each participantshouldfeelsafe,valued,andempoweredtocreateadynamicthatworksfor them.
HOW WOULD DO YOU DEFINE YOUR ALT LIFE?
WHAT IS ONE THING ON YOUR BUCKET LIST YOU HOPE TO DO THIS YEAR?
Raise enough money to Raise enough money to Raise save the STEM program at save the STEM program at at my kids' school. my kids' school. kids' school.
I LIVE IN...
Southeast in the US Southeast in the US US
HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN LIVING AN ALT LIFE? WHAT ATTRACTED YOU TO IT?
I have been in the lifestyle for about three years and on Playboy/OnlyFans about two and half. Before finding the lifestyle I felt like I had been swallowed whole by being a mom and trying to live up to what everyone expected of me as a mother and wife. I lost touch with my sexuality, with my adventurous side, and really, with who I was The moment I started living an Alt Life it was like the fire inside me was reignited I realized I could be an amazing mom and wife and also be who I wanted to be and give into my desires on my own time.
THREE WORDS THAT DESCRIBE YOU:
Tenacious Clever Caring
? AND RELATIONSHIP STATUS?
I am bisexual and he is straight. I am bisexual and is straight. bisexual straight.
I think I always knew I was I think I always knew I was I was bisexual but was conditioned bisexual but was conditioned bisexual but to be heterosexual so I never to be heterosexual so I never heterosexual so never explored the side of me that explored side of me that me was attracted to women until I was attracted to women until I was joined the lifestyle. After having joined the lifestyle. After having joined sex with a woman it wasn't sex with a woman it wasn't a it some huge realization for me some huge realization for me some for as much as confirmation of as much as confirmation of as much as of who I thought I might be. who I thought I might be. thought
HOW IS ONE WAY YOU ARE FIGHTING TO HELP STOP THE STIGMA YOUR ALTLIFE PRESENTS IN SOCIETY?
TURN ONS & OFFS
Biggest turn ons: Intelligence...It's so hot when someone can banter with me or keep up with a conversation.
Biggest turn offs: Clinginess
WHAT'S YOUR GUILTY PLEASURE?
Napping. Wow that's probably the least sexy answer ever...but it's true! I love to nap. I would take multiple naps a day I could
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD?
I love pasta, anything Italian..anything carbs!
Has living an ALT Life affected your vanilla life in a negative way due to stigmas, bias or discrimination?
Yes, for sure. One of my best friend's husbands banned her from seeing me when she told him I was a swinger. She didn't judge me, but he did and said I was a sinner .
For years I didn't get to be as close to her, and our kids didn't get to hang out as much. It was really sad. They're divorcing now so luckily she's back in my life.
WHAT IS ONE LESSON YOU HAVE LEARN ON YOUR ALT LIFE JOURNEY?
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE VANILLA ACTIVITY? Probably anything to do with art. I paint, I draw, I do graphic design, and lately I've really been into coloring with alcohol markers. It's just a way for me to channel my creativity.
WHAT IS ONE THING WE CAN DO AS A COMMUNITY TO SUPPORT EACH OTHER BETTER?
It's more than just following each other on social media and It's more than just following each other on social media and more than just other on media and interacting with each other's posts. I think we need to really interacting with each other's posts. I think we need to really with each I think we to really check in on one another and let people know we are thinking of check in on one another and let people know we are thinking of check in and know we are thinking them and care about them. them and care about them. them and care
BY: MR. G
When it comes to single males in the lifestyle, one thing’s for sure: we’re not all cut from the same cloth. Some of us are celebrated, others tolerated, and a few … well, they’re whispered about in the corner. But who are these different types of single males, and what makes some more desirable than others? Let’s take a playful stroll through the archetypes — and see where you fit in.
Last month, I had the pleasure of visiting Hedo Jamaica, a place where inhibitions disappear faster than a rum punch. In just a few days, I had the chance to see each of these archetypes in action.
1. The Gentleman
The crème de la crème of single males. He’s polite, respectful, and knows how to read the room. At Hedo, I spotted one Gentleman offering to take a group photo for a couple, then stepping aside to let them shine. His easygoing charm left everyone smiling, and he proved that sometimes the smallest gestures go the furthest.
2. The Peacock
Oh, the Peacock. He struts in with confidence, often bordering on arrogance. At the poolside party, this guy turned heads with his flashy swim trunks, signature dance moves, and a voice that carried over the music. Some loved his boldness; others? Not so much. But you’ve got to give him credit he wasn’t afraid to be himself.
3. The Ghost
This guy’s there … but is he really? I noticed a Ghost hanging out near the bar, nursing a drink and quietly observing the chaos. He wasn’t causing any trouble, but he also wasn’t engaging. For some, he’s a mysterious enigma; for others, he’s just … there.
4. The Bull in a China Shop
Every group has one: the overly eager guy who dives into conversations (and situations) without reading the vibe. At Hedo, one Bull was practically sprinting from one group to another, high energy and big smiles bless his enthusiasm, but his timing was off more often than not.
5. The Smooth Talker
Slick with his words and quick with a joke, the Smooth Talker knows how to charm a crowd. I saw him in action one evening at the piano bar, effortlessly weaving his way into a couple’s conversation with clever quips and genuine compliments. Some people loved it, but others seemed wary of his practiced charisma.
6. The Friend-Zoner
This guy’s so nice, that he ends up being everyone’s buddy. At Hedo, the Friend-Zoner was the one laughing with everyone in the hot tub and offering sunscreen tips by the pool. Everyone adored him but he always seemed to fade into the background when things got spicy.
Why It Matters
Each type has its strengths and weaknesses, but the key to success is understanding where you stand and how others perceive you. Are you a Gentleman? Awesome! Keep doing your thing. A Bull in a China Shop? Maybe pause and assess the room before charging in.
The beauty of the lifestyle, and places like Hedo Jamaica, is that there’s space for everyone. But being mindful of your approach can make all the difference.
So, who are you? More importantly, who do you want to be?
Thank you, Mr. G
So, who are you?
More importantly, who do you want to be?
Why Sweat-Proof Makeup is Essential
Sweating is a natural response to heat, dancing or physical exertion, but it can wreak havoc on your makeup. From foundation streaks to mascara smudges, the heat and moisture can cause makeup to slid ff fade throughout Similarly, during moments, mak rub off or transf can be frustra take away fro confidence. Havi and sex-proof ensures that you looking your bes
The Ultimate Guide to a Fun Day-to-Night Flawless Base free, mattifying moisturizer if you tend to get oily. You can also apply a lightweight primer designed for oil control and extended wear. Primers create a smooth surface and help makeup grip onto your skin, which is essential for preventing makeup from breaking down during sweatinducing activities.
Whether you're at a resort in the sun all day or at a club dancing the night away, looking fresh and flawless all day long can seem like an impossible task, especially when dealing with heat, sweat, or intimate moments. Here’s everything you need to know about creatin dge-resistant makeup look.
specifically to resist heat, humidity, and sweat These formulas often contain oil-absorbing ingredients and provide a matte or satin finish that won’t melt away after a workout or an intimate encounter. Some foundations even contain SPF, offering the added benefit of sun protection.
Look for formulas like:
Estée Lauder Double Wear Stay-in-Place Foundation
Fenty Beauty Pro Filt'r Soft Matte Longwear Foundation
Maybelline Fit Me Matte + Poreless
After powder to lock in your makeup and reduce shine. A finely milled powder will prevent makeup from settling into fine lines or creasing as you sweat. For extra staying power, spritz a setting spray designed for long wear to ensure your makeup t t f hours
Popular options include: Laura Mercier Translucent Loose Setting Powder Urban Decay All Nighter Setting Spray MAC Prep + Prime Fix+
ning due to sweat, it’s essential to use waterproof formulas for your eyeliner, mascara, and brow products. Waterproof products will stay intact even during a workout or an intimate session, providing smudge-proof, long-lasting color
Some standout products: Too Faced Better Than Sex Waterproof Mascara Urban Decay 24/7 Glide-On Eye Pencil
Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Wiz
Cream b finish, b fade. Instead, opt for powder formulas or long-lasting, buildable sticks. If you prefer a cream, choose one that dries down to a powder finish for a more durable hold Or using a liquid blush/Bronzer and topping it with a powder blush or bronzer.
During intimate
Popular picks:
can wear off quickly. To keep ks or matte formulas. These products dry down to a transfer-proof finish and require little touch-up throughout the day or evening
Must-have options:
keup is a s eup in place for all-day
wear, ensuring it doesn’t melt or transfer Choose a spray that’s formulated for long-lasting results and offers additional benefits like oil control or hydration.
Blot, Don't Powder
Avoid Touching Your Face
Hands can transfer oils, dirt, and sweat to your face, which can break down makeup quickly. Try to resist touching your face throughout the day to preserve your makeup’s integrity.
Carry Touch-Up Essentials
When you start to feel the heat, instead of adding more powder, blot the excess sweat with oil-absorbing sheets. This will help reduce shine without disturbing your makeup. Too much powder can result in a cakey appearance, which is the last thing you want when you ' re trying to look fresh.
Keep a few key items in your bag for quick touch-ups on the go. A mini setting spray, translucent powder, and lip color are all you need to freshen up during the day.
In conclusion, with the right products and techniques, it’s entirely possible to achieve makeup that holds up against sweat, heat, and even intimate moments. By investing in sweat-proof foundations, waterproof eye makeup, and setting sprays, you can keep your look fresh and flawless no matter the circumstances. Stay confident, stay beautiful,andenjoythedayknowingyourmakeupwon’tletyoudown.
ce to
BY: AEROROSES & EVILLE1984
{Eville1984 & Aeroroses have been together for 18 years and married for 13 years Our lifestyle journey began in November 2022 and quickly evolved, giving us experience in full swaps, group play, threesomes, hotwife/hothusband, and same-sex play styles
QUESTION: QUESTION:
Recently I've been having fantasies about being with other men and Recently I've been having fantasies about being with other men and women. I've been married for 12 years and I'm happy so why am I women. I've been married for 12 years and I'm happy so why am I having these fantasies and do I tell my husband? having these fantasies and do I tell my husband?
Marriage is a journey filled with love, commitment, and shared experiences. But after 12 years or even sooner you might find yourself surprised by fantasies about other people. These thoughts can leave you questioning your happiness or feeling confused about what they mean. Don’t worry, this experience is more common than you might think.
Why Am I Having These Fantasies?
Fantasies are a natural part of human sexuality and don’t necessarily indicate dissatisfaction in your marriage. Here are some reasons you might be experiencing them:
Biological Diversity of Desire: Humans are wired to find novelty exciting. The idea of being with someone new can stimulate the brain's reward system, releasing dopamine the "feel-good" hormone.
Emotional Expression: Sometimes, fantasies aren't about a particular person but rather about exploring an unmet emotional or sexual need. They might symbolize a longing for adventure, intimacy, or freedom.
Emotional Expression: Sometimes, fantasies aren't about a particular person but rather about exploring an unmet emotional or sexual need. They might symbolize a longing for adventure, intimacy, or freedom.
Life Transitions: After over a decade of marriage, it’s natural for your life to settle into a rhythm. Fantasies can arise when you're longing to rediscover parts of yourself that have been overshadowed by responsibilities or routine.
Whatever reason resonates with you, know that having these desires is perfectly normal and extremely common. You shouldn’t feel ashamed or odd for having even the most wild of thoughts.
Should I Tell My Husband?
The question of whether to share your fantasies is deeply personal and depends on the dynamics of your relationship. Here are some factors to consider:
Your Intentions: If you’re not planning to act on these thoughts, sharing them might not be necessary. Consider what you hope to achieve by discussing them. Do you want reassurance, a deeper connection, or an exploration of new possibilities together? If you think you want to act on any of your fantasies, you should discuss this with your partner before engaging in any acts. We always encourage open communication and trust between partners.
Reflect on how your husband might react. Does he generally approach sensitive topics with understanding, or might this information cause unnecessary worry or hurt? Before telling him about your fantasies, have a plan for how you’re going to communicate them to him. Do you want him to be involved? Are you telling him because you want to act out these fantasies with him? Make sure he understands why you’re sharing your desires with him.
Reframing the Conversation: Instead of focusing on the fantasies themselves, you could use this as an opportunity to talk about your relationship. Express a desire to keep things fresh and exciting or explore new ways to connect emotionally and physically.
If you think you want to bring other people into your sex life, this is the time to have those conversations and explain the appeal. Make sure that he feels included in the discussion and not like he’s being left out of your deepest fantasies.
Let Your Partner Take the Lead: As a way to begin discussing your fantasies, perhaps try leading by asking your husband about his fantasies and be ready to listen with an open mind. You may even find that your fantasies align with his! Some partners may feel hesitant to open up about these things when prompted if this isn’t something you have ever done. If your desire to express your fantasies with your partner has a foundation of wanting them to be excited and turned on by yours, be willing to hear them and reassure your husband that you will be excited and turned on to hear his. 1 2 3
It’s important to recognize that fantasies don’t automatically signal a problem in your relationship. In fact, they can be an opportunity for growth:
Self-Reflection: Ask yourself what these fantasies represent. Are they about novelty, passion, or an unmet need? Understanding this can help you reconnect with your desires.
Reignite the Spark: Use this as motivation to bring fresh energy into your marriage. Plan a romantic getaway, try something new in your intimacy, or revisit shared passions that brought you together in the first place.
Professional Guidance: If you’re struggling with guilt or confusion, consider speaking with a therapist. A professional can help you navigate your feelings and explore ways to enhance your marriage.
Fantasies are a normal, human experience and don’t necessarily reflect the quality of your marriage. They’re not a verdict on your happiness, but rather a reflection of your vibrant inner world. Instead of fearing them, see them as an opportunity to understand yourself more deeply and to strengthen your bond with your partner. Marriage isn’t about never having doubts or distractions - it’s about choosing to nurture your connection.
Have a question or seeking some advice? Submit your anonymous questions to us via the Swinger Society Discord under #MagazineChat and find the link to submit under the pinned posts; or go to https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/RMDWQTV
BY: DR ELIZABETH FEDRICK IG: @DRELIZABETHFEDRICK
ember ember ntly ntly
g y and and intentional efforts. intentional efforts.
Intimacy with our partners is not a destination we arrive at; rather, it requires daily awareness, intentions, and efforts to create and nurture this very special connection.
Intimacy requires…
Intentional efforts towards creating emotional & physical safety.
Consistency & mutuality in showing up for each other
Allowing for each partner to have unique wants & needs
The willingness to talk about uncomfortable & difficult things. Being aware of (and gentle with) each other’s insecurities.
Scheduling weekly check-ins to talk about your relationship.
Managing your expectations (perfection should not be the goal).
Asking questions about your partner’s feelings & experiences
Scheduling daily & weekly one-onone connection rituals
Addressing conflict as it arises & repairing it as soon as possible.
Accepting that intimacy is an ongoing journey with ups & downs.
I continue to provide regular reminders on this topic because I’ve learned through working on clients' relationships, and in my own experiences, that daily efforts towards connection and safety are easy to forget, dismiss, or be “too busy” for.
Thus, many of us look back on the week, a realize that so many of these little (or bigg behaviors towards creating or protecting o intimacy, with someone we care about, eith took place very little or not at all…
I’m here to let you know… that if a healthy a connected relationship is what you desire… have to stop looking at these intima requirements as optional or something th sounds good if we “have time.”
Your partner deserves better than that. You deserve better than that.
And your relationship as a whole, deserves better than that.
Pick one thing (while you’re thinking about it)
Pick one thing (while you’re thinking about it) that you will do today to foster connection & that you will do today to foster connection & intimacy… and set an alarm if you need to so intimacy… and set an alarm if you need to so that you won’t forget! that you won’t forget!
Swingers Newbi Guide:
Part 1
How To Get Into The Swinging Lifestyle
BY: BELLA & JASE “4OURPLAY”
We compiled an in depth swingers newbie guide for couples and individuals interested in the swinging lifestyle but who are unsure where or how to start.
This swingers newbie guide goes over all the swinger lingo, how to find other swingers, how to introduce your partner to swinging, how to handle jealousy, and some of our best pieces of advice for newbies! Think of this as your introduction to the swinging lifestyle! We go in detail about our most frequently asked questions about swinging.
WHAT IS A SWINGER, UNICORN, BULL, ETC, AND WHAT IS A SWINGER, UNICORN, BULL, ETC, AND WHAT ARE THE COMMON SWINGER TERMS? WHAT ARE THE COMMON SWINGER TERMS?
We made an entire Swinger Dictionary you can read right here that has ALL the terms used in the Swinging Lifestyle
WHERE CAN I FIND OTHER WHERE CAN I FIND OTHER SWINGERS SWINGERS
Swingers dating websites and apps, swingers clubs, swingers events, and adult/lifestyle resorts/vacations are the most common places to make connections.
Sites we personally use to find other swingers:
SDC.com: Sign up with this link to get a FREE full membership for 30 days!
Kasidie.com: Sign up with this link to get a FREE full membership for 30 days!
3Fun (app)
Adults Only Vacation/Resorts:
Click here for a full list of some of the most popular swinger/lifestyle friendly resort and vacation locations!
Additional sites/apps:
Click here for a full list of swinger dating sites and their popularity by state and country.
Swingers Clubs:
Click here for a full list of swingers clubs, venues, and resorts in the USA by state.
HOW DO I BRING UP SWINGING TO MY PARTNER?
HOW DO I BRING UP SWINGING TO MY PARTNER?
First, you need to communicate and have an open conversation with your partner about your sexual desires.
A good way to bring this up in a less daunting way is to try a Sexual Fantasies Compatibility Quiz. We recommend this one by MojoUpgrade.
The quiz is designed to help you as a couple communicate better about your intimate fantasies (it goes over many different sexual fantasies, not only swinging). After you both answer the quiz separately, it will only show you the answers to the questions where you both have indicated a willingness, not ones where one or both of you answered “no.”
Remember to respect what your partner decides, no matter what the answer is. If it is a hard no, then the swinging lifestyle may not be suited for your relationship. If they are open to the idea, then you can further discuss more in-depth about how you want to get started in the lifestyle. You can introduce group-sex porn, erotica, dirty talk in bed, talk about hypothetical situations or fantasies you want to experience, etc, to further open the conversation about it.
HOW DO I KNOW IF SWINGING IS RIGHT FOR MY HOW DO I KNOW IF SWINGING IS RIGHT FOR MY PARTNER AND ME? PARTNER AND ME?
There is no straight answer to this question. The only way to know is to have a deep conversation about it with your partner and decide if it’s right for you to try or not. Most veteran swingers practice swinging as icing on top of an already strong and happy relationship and do not swing as a necessity, but as a fun activity they enjoy doing together.
While some couples may try swinging to fix something in their relationship, save their relationship, or spice up their sex life due to a dry spell, it is often not recommended by most veteran swingers – and going about swinging in that way should be taken with strong caution. This can work for some relationships, as the openness can rekindle it and be exactly what was missing from their relationship, but on the other hand can also further harm some relationships.
However, there is always a chance swinging can harm an already healthy relationship as well, just as it can greatly improve a relationship. Every couple is different and swinging is different for each couple. What works for one couple may not work for you and vice versa. The reason why one couple decides to start swinging may be completely different than your reason and there is no “right” way to do so.
Just do what works for your relationship! The number one rule is to always make sure both partners are on the same page and have communicated extensively before proceeding.
HOW DO MY PARTNER AND I GET STARTED IN THE HOW DO MY PARTNER AND I GET STARTED IN THE LIFESTYLE? LIFESTYLE?
Start by creating a list of your own rules and boundaries for your relationship involving the lifestyle. Make sure to ALWAYS communicate.
You will hear this infinite times in the lifestyle. Swingers communicate, communicate, communicate. You can’t communicate enough! You not only have to be on the same page with your partner, but with potential swinging partners too.
Swinging is different for every couple. Some couples enjoy the atmosphere but only have sex together, some couples only swap orally, some couples full swap in the same room only, and some couples may play separately.
There isn’t one way to swing and you need to cater it to what works for your own relationship. With time, you may evolve and want to and/or be ready to try new things, just make sure to communicate this with your partner.
After extensive discussions with your partner and knowing that you are ready to try out the lifestyle and creating a list of your rules and boundaries, we then recommend to create a profile on a swingers dating site to start chatting with other couples online and when you’re ready, you can meet a couple for a double date and/or try going to a swingers club, event, or resort/vacation with your partner. This can be in your local area or you can make it a big trip and travel to see if you like being in the swinging environment!
Our number one advice (after communication) is to not have any expectations other than to enjoy your partner’s company and to have a great time together. Don’t try to “make something happen” or put pressure on yourself!
Reflect, Reset, and Recharge for the New Year
BY: MR. G
As the year winds down, it’s natural to reflect on where we’ve been, what we’ve done, and what we hope to achieve moving forward. For me, this time of year brings a mix of reflection and anticipation. I think about the good times, the mistakes, and how I can grow—not just in the lifestyle, but as a person.
I ask myself: What could I have done better? Where did I go wrong on that date or on the dance floor? How can I improve how I engage with others? Like everyone else, I make mistakes, and recognizing them is key to becoming a better person not just for others, but for myself.
This past year, I’ve had the opportunity to experience incredible venues like Tempted and Champagne. The lifestyle can be exhilarating, but it’s also demanding. It’s easy to get swept up in the fast pace without stopping to ask: Did I enjoy myself? Am I making sp
Reflect, Reset, and Recharge for the New Year
As a single male, I’ve often found myself trying to ensure everyone else is happy. It’s in my nature I enjoy entertaining and bringing joy to others. But this year, I’m asking myself, What makes me happy? What should I put on my bucket list for next year? Is it a lifestyle cruise? Exploring a new resort? Maybe even getting that tattoo I’ve always wanted but never planned for? These are all exciting ideas, and this is the perfect time of year to dream big and set intentions.
Wouldn’t it be great if we could get feedback from our play partners? A “Yelp” for the lifestyle could be an incredible tool for growth (and maybe a bit entertaining, too). But until that exists, self-reflection and honest conversations are the next best thing.
So, as we head into the new year, I encourage you to think about your own goals. What do you want to experience or improve upon? Share your thoughts with this magazine let’s start a dialogue about making the lifestyle (and life in general) even more fulfilling in the coming year
Here’s to learning, growing
Cheers,
Defining Defining
TN _ Gal _ Nicole joins ALT Life as editorial operations, and is passionate about ENM education
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