WIG So Far - July 2015

JULY 2015

Brought to you by the mind of Alyssa Wigant

THE FIRST ISSUE Everything in this digest is original work by Alyssa Wigant.

Alyssa is a college student who has a lot on her mind. She stays up late sometimes to write, hand-letter, take pictures of herself, and much more; all as a means to get feelings off of her chest. She is an artist who is facing many doubts and fears (as many do), and she is tired of being stuck. She wants a change of pace and heart, and whether you read this or not, she’s headed in that direction.

Disclaimer: She uses curse words for emphasis.

July 2015 (c) Alyssa Wigant alyssarevolution.tumblr.com alyssawigant.com

A BRIEF INTRODUCTION Welcome to What I Got So Far, also known as WIG. This acronym was intentional considering my last name is Wigant, and this digest acts as a platform to share my notes on what I got so far.

This is yet another one of my ongoing projects made to inspire you, but mostly to make sense of my thoughts and experiences.

You can expect writing, art, photography, videos, late night thoughts, and whatever else I create within the specified month; all made for the sake of cracking the code of life and its struggles. This is about me, but take away from it what you want.

My name is Alyssa Wigant and I’m tired of this rut.

I HAD THIS REALIZATION THAT I’M NOT DOING ENOUGH ART. I NEED TO. ALL THIS TIME I’VE BEEN PUTTING IT OFF WHEN REALLY, I JUST NEED TO FORM A HABIT OF MAKING ART; FOR MYSELF THIS TIME. I JUST NEED TO FUCKING DO. ISOLATION & PRACTICE. THAT’S THE KEY.

I have a tendency to think of (what I believe to be) amazing projects to document my life, but never really follow through with them. I find it easy for myself to succumb to self-doubt and the pressure to succeed, as most artists do, so I quit before giving it my best.

I’m not going to let that happen this time.

GRATITUDE JOURNAL THIS MONTH I WAS THANKFUL FOR: acro yoga communication peace of mind solitude quality time intimacy trust connections touch

ATAVISM (N); The tendency to revert to ancestral type. In biology, an atavism is an evolutionary throwback, such as traits reappearing which had disappeared generations before.

Atavisms can occur in several ways.

JULY 8, 2015 This week I’ve been consciously trying to reconnect with my true self–my core creative being– because I feel like I’ve stifled it for too long. This happened for many reasons, some being external, some subconsciously being internal, but nonetheless I’m tired of feeling this way. I’ve been in a rut for too long. I’m motivated to find myself through the only mediums I know how, which are various forms of art. This is my lifestyle, this is who I am, and I won’t let anyone including myself try to take it away from me. No more distractions.

This is my atavism.

NAKED I’ve been a lot more comfortable being naked as of late. My psoriasis used to make nakedness a burden, because I would see all of my imperfections, but now, I’m becoming more content in my bareness.

What am I trying to hide from myself ?

My body is just my body. We all have one. Why must we feel ashamed of this living, breathing thing that protects us and enables us to do, make, and exist?

When I look at my naked body, I feel resilient. I feel like I can do anything because of this body. I can dance, hula hoop, practice yoga, relax, breathe, sleep. This is the outer shell of my being.

“YOUR BODY IS YOUR TEMPLE, IT’S YOUR HOME, AND YOU MUST DECORATE IT.” -Gabourey Sidibe This quote motivates me to take care of myself and not take my body for granted. My psoriasis spots are merely decorations and embellishments on my body. Through the activities listed above, I am doing more for my body now than I ever have, and it shows through my softer skin, glowing complexion, and overall relaxed mood.

I believe that the solution to any physical or mental problems is in our minds and hearts. We must relax, breathe, and accept who we are.

“MEDITATION IS THE TONGUE OF THE SOUL AND THE LANGUAGE OF OUR SPIRIT” -Jeremy Taylor

MEDITATION July 2, 2015 I am so so excited to share with you all, especially my fellow psoriasis-ters, that my skin has been clearing up for the past week and after doing some research, I discovered that it’s because of how much yoga, meditation, and relaxation I’ve been doing!

I am currently really overwhelmed with hope that I’ll now be able to use my mind to keep my skin in check. The mind is really powerful, I just can’t believe this never occurred to me as an option of treatment!

FYI: meditation helps a myriad of ailments, including adhd, acne, eczema, and other mental/skin issues, not just limited to psoriasis! Do a quick google search for the benefits of meditation, it will most likely benefit whatever negativity you feel.

I’m really excited about this.

Also, side-note: my boyfriend Brandon and I have been learning acro yoga (partner yoga) together and it’s been pretty damn amazing. We’re able to connect with each other and learn how to trust each other on a whole new level, I think a lot deeper than most couples get to know each other at this rate. It feels great to try new things with someone and know that we can both benefit from acro yoga, yoga, and meditation.

I’m really hopeful and happy that there’s a solution I didn’t realize could be a solution.

Here’s to mindfulness!

HUMAN CONNECTION I’m really thankful for all the connections I’ve made in my life. Even if someone makes the smallest impact on me, it still affects me and shapes me into who I am today.

I am thankful for all my female friends and role models for making me feel like I am not alone in the fight for gender equality and other social justice rights. I am thankful for all my relationships–intimate or platonic–for teaching me and showing me new parts of myself.

Our lives are built around human connection. Sometimes these connections come and go, as I am quite familiar with, but they still make a difference and shape us, whether we like it or not.

Welcome each and every person when they enter your life, and savor them–for you never know how long they will stay.

1:10 AM There aren’t many feelings that compare to the feeling like I cannot be trusted. Feeling as if I appear to be unreliable, a push-over, or someone who can’t be taken seriously, is so invalidating to who I am. It takes away all of the experiences I’ve had that made me develop into a stronger person.

You can trust me, because I’ve been learned the worst lessons that have ended in shit, and I am smart enough to not repeat my mistakes.

You can trust me, because sometimes the hatred I have for myself makes me gain this need to protect others from that feeling.

You can trust me, because I can keep a secret and have learned not to judge anyone on their journey. I’ve been there too.

You can trust me, because the eternal love I’m supposed to have for myself transcends into love for people, for the world, for you.

The amount of times I’ve been hurt, hurt myself, felt betrayed, or tried to forgive doesn’t compare to the amount of times I’ve wanted someone to believe me when I claim that I speak the truth; when I claim that I want them to be okay, or to not worry about me, that I’ll be fine.

If I’ve been through it before, I’ll know how to navigate. If it looks uncertain, I’ll ask for help.

You can really only be sure of yourself, as I can only be sure of myself.

But there needs to be a compromise, or distance will only grow.

9:06 PM I am just so ready to try new things and take chances. I want to get better at yoga, acro yoga, I want to get into drinking tea as opposed to coffee, I want to meditate more, and spend more time in solitude. I want to plant flowers in jars, I want to explore the world.

I feel reborn somehow, and I’m really excited for this.

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5:46 PM I’m trying to figure myself out. I don’t think I’ll ever be done, but I know that I can do it better every time. I’m tired. Exhausted. I’m trying to plan things out because I only have a year or so left of school until it’s “the real world”. I only have a slight clue about what I want to do, but I don’t know where I want to do it or with who.

I want a stable job, safe place to live, and enough time to still be me on the side of work.

I get too attached. I trust too easily.

I’m hoping these traits will pay off somehow.

8:36 PM When I picture my future, my vision is pretty consistent: I’m in good shape, I have a very artistic style, and my social circle is comprised of creative and friendly people who genuinely care about themselves, their work, and the world. I imagine myself in a humble apartment that I decorate to my desire, whether that be my own artowkr or a friend’s. I imagine traveling with my partner, taking pictures and making videos, and going to parties at apartments where we drink wine and socialize and listen to good music. I can already taste remnants of this. I want it bad and won’t settle for anything less.

JULY 2015 PLAYLIST

listen

I either discovered these songs this month or really vibed with them. Hope you like them too!

Stood Me Up - Dwntwn

Recreational Love - the bird and the bee

Ex’s & Oh’s - Elle King

Runaway - the bird and the bee

Always (Wave Racer remix) - Panama

Leave A Trace- CHVRCHES

I Found You - Gibbz

I’m In Love With My Life - PHASES

Cut to Black - Lemataire

Forty Dollar Rug - Department of Eagles

No Room in Frame - Death Cab for Cutie

The Message - Melle Mel & Duke Boottee & Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five

El Dorado - Death Cab for Cutie Crying - TV on the Radio Lights Out - Santigold I Don’t Feel Like Dancing - Scissor Sisters Timebomb - Beck Jump Hi - LION BABE, Childish Gambino Days With You - Snakehips, Sinead Harnett Electric Love - BØRNS Lake Michigan - Rogue Wave All My Friends - LCD Sound System Romantic Streams - Sleep ∞ Over look for love - pennybirdrabbit

Money All Around - HOLYCHILD Beanbag Chair - Yo La Tengo Firefly - Mura Masa Lean On - Major Lazer Water Fountain - tUnE-yArDs Dreams - Wet Stay Away - Charli XCX Weight in Gold - Gallant Hilarity Duff - KAYTANADA High on Love - Class Actress Green Grass - Tanlines I Knocked for Days - Mason

One Look (ft. Mammals) - LVTHER, Mammals Divinity - Porter Robinson Years of War - Porter Robinson Slipping Away - Tanlines Holding On - Disclosure Will you dance? - the bird and the bee

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THANK YOU FOR READING! A new issue of WIG will publish on the first of every month.

July 2015 | Issue 1