MAGAZINE FOR WELLBEING
SPRING ISSUE 48
2013
SPRING
ISSUE 48
>> Mindfulness >> Arts & Reviews >> Hearing Voices Network >> Exercise (your self-control) >> An evening of Anti-Psychiatry >> News, views and opinions
Equilibrium Patron Dr Liz Miller Mind Champion 2008
Front cover: Azure D Osborne-Lee: ‘Small Golden Blessing�
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editorial Despite the jack-in-the-box nature of this year’s spring (coming and going and taking us all by surprise!) hopefully our Spring issue of Equilibrium will channel some positivity in your direction, whether you’re browsing through it over breakfast in the garden or huddled up in bed in three blankets and a scarf! We hope you enjoy this season’s articles from both the team and guest writers, and thanks to everyone who sent us their spring pictures for the front cover - we loved them all! Although it is a tempestuous time at the moment, with a new round of biting cuts taking effect, a picture of a lamb or two still puts a big smile on our faces.
disclaimer Equilibrium is produced by service users. Reproduction in whole or in part is strictly forbidden without the prior permission of the Equilibrium team. Products, articles and services advertised in this publication do not necessarily carry the endorsement of Equilibrium or any of our partners. Equilibrium is published and circulated electronically four times a year to a database of subscribers; if you do not wish to receive Equilibrium or have received it by mistake, please email unsubscribe to equilibriumteam@hotmail.co.uk
the team Facilitator/ Editor: Kate Massey-Chase. Editorial team: Pumla Kisosonkole, Angela, Dev Chatterjea, Ian Stewart Graphic design: Anthony Parké.
contact us Equilibrium, Clarendon Centre, Clarendon Road, London, N8 ODJ. 02084894860, equilibriumteam@hotmail.co.uk. We are in the office on Friday afternoons 2.30-4.30, but you can leave a message at other times and we’ll get back to you.
contributions Wanted: contributions to Equilibrium! Please email us with your news, views, poems, photos, plus articles. Anonymity guaranteed if required.
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THIS SPRING, WE’VE BEEN...
LISTENING TO... Kate: Dilemma on Radio 4, a panel show chaired by Sue Perkins, discussing moral conundrums; some great music suggested on the blogs Yes Miss Fox (http://yesmissfox.wordpress.com/) and Creativise (http://creativise.wordpress.com/) – their ‘Tuesday Tunes’ and ‘Mid-week Melodies’, respectively, have been introducing me to some new favourites Anthony: Bollywood singing – we’ve broken the car radio and it’s stuck on a random station! Ian: Mark Knofler & Emmy Lou Harris’ new CD Dev: ‘80s/90s disco, classical, Indian music – all sorts! I like to mix things up and swap between genres. Polly: A lot of baroque! Marcia: ‘Adorn’ by Miguel. At first I liked it for the soul sound, and now I really like the lyrics too. GOING TO... Kate: I’ve been going to yoga for about 6 months now and love it! I’ve also been for a weekend in Prague with my mum, and to the theatre loads – I’ve particularly enjoyed seeing Spymonkey’s Cooped, National Theatre’s One Man Two Guvnors, and Snuff Box Theatre’s Bitch Boxer. Anthony: Life-drawing classes. Lots of naked bodies, which I obviously look at in a very objective and professional way. It’s nice to keep in touch with the basics. Ian: Group meditation, run by the Meditation Trust, where I’ve been discussing experiences of meditation and enjoyed the opportunity to meditate together with others, which can result in a more profound experience. Polly: Macbeth with James Macavoy and Claire Foy, and The Trial a site-specific journey in Shoreditch by Retz Theatre Company. Marcia: The cinema to see Django Unchained, which was really good.
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WATCHING... Kate: Call the Midwife, based on the memoirs of Jennifer Worth, set in East London in the 1950s. I love the combination of Jenny Agutter, Vanessa Redgrave, Pam Ferris and Miranda Hart, and also the fact that it’s so pro-NHS; I hope Jeremy hunt watches it! Anthony: I’ve been forced to watch Teen Mum and One Born Every Minute against my will, when I’d prefer to be watching Arnold Schwarzenegger! Ian: A range of arts programmes on BBC4, particularly enjoying the ones on painter’s lives. Pumla: Searching for inspiration, but finding it hard to settle with anything. Any recommendations for something to follow? Routine can be good for the soul! Dev: I like to watch a lot of comedy, from South Park and Family Guy, to The Two Ronnies. I recently watched a film called Sometimes in April, a historical drama about the Rwandan Genocide of 1994, which was very affecting. The only thing I can’t stand is horror movies – my brother made me watch The Day of Reckoning, which was really scary! Polly: The Challenger – a one-off drama about the enquiry into the 1986 space-shuttle disaster Marcia: I loved watching Mr Selridge – I couldn’t get enough of it! Lots of funny moments, affairs, secrets coming to light, and a bit of the history of the time. READING... Ian: Balthazar by Lawrence Durrell, the second book in the Alexandria Quartet. Anthony: Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning Kate: Dostoyevsky’s The Idiot; also enjoy my free weekly copy of Stylist on the tube, and reading the satirical articles on The Daily Mash (current favourite: ‘Spring thinks it’s too late to start now’, http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/environment/spring-thinks-itstoo-late-to-start-now-2013040564772) Pumla: Bits of The Guardian I find on the 144 – beats the Metro! Polly: Gardens of Stone – cracking autobiography of somebody in the French Resistance. Marcia: Yesterday I read an interesting article in Mature Times, which is about issues that affect older people, about health risks for over 60s, including some information about Bowel Cancer Awareness Month. As more than 8 in 10 bowel cancer cases are in people over 60.
www.haringey.gov.uk/equilibrium
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Photo: Anthony
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An Evening of Anti-Psychiatry Nottingham Contemporary Gallery
In February, I went to an Anti-Psychiatry
a special interest in Basaglia, Turin and
evening at Nottingham Contemporary
Gorizia and the Italian movement to close
Gallery, for a selection of excellent events
asylums (without much thought of what
and discussion.
would come after). Next, Howard Caygill – a philosopher from Kingston inter alia –
First, there was a film by Dora Garcia (The
who gave a powerful talk about a particu-
Deviant Majority (From Basaglia to Brazil)
lar statue in Arezzo, Italy, commemorating
2010) flipping from Basaglia’s Triests/Gorizia
those with mental distress, closely examin-
anti-asylum movement, to powerful thea-
ing where it was in the garden of the old
tre sessions with ‘service users’ in Trieste,
asylum, which way it faced, how it juxta-
punctuated by stark text-on-screen in the
posed against an old statue hidden in the
film The Inadequate. There were interviews
shrubbery. Next David Reggio – also from
with ‘70s protest leader Carmen Roll from
Kingston – a Brazil expert. Well mediated
the SPK (Socialist Patients Collective, later
by Isobel Whitelegg.
allied with the Red Army Faction). Strong stuff. Anti-psychiatry then seemed to be
To catch up with this and the night after
anti-asylum, anti-capitalism, grown from
(Duncan Double and others at the core
the student protests and other protest
of the critical psychiatry movement) go
groups sweeping parts of Europe.
to: http://www.nottinghamcontemporary.org/event/anti-psychiatry-part-1 and
Then there was a fabulous discussion:
watch the filmed events.
First John Foot, a UCL (University College London) historian who has developed
Polly Mortimer
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Exercise (your self-control)
A
s a former professional athlete, and current service-user, my single most important piece of fitness advice to other service users is abstinence and moderation. The service-user community has a high level of social drug use, particularly nicotine and alcohol (as well as some prevalence of illegal drug use). Prescription medication is not yet sufficiently advanced to avoid the occurrence of debilitating – not to mention embarrassing – side effects. To overcome extrapyramidal side-effects such as tardive dyskinesia (involuntary movements), obesity and low mood, may I recommend or introduce service-users to moderate exercise, such as walking, cycling and low-resistance weight training, yoga, tai chi or similar; if you’re brave enough, not to mention young enough (I’m 52 years old in 2013) you can also try dancing. Mental illness can be considered to age service-users prematurely, so don’t forget the tried and tested rules of training for strength, stamina and suppleness (the 3Ss):
- Avoid excess in known hazardous – even socially acceptable – drugs, like nicotine and alcohol. - Maintain a well-balanced, high protein, diet, avoiding carbohydrates, the commonest source of obesity. - Try to enjoy well-prepared, regular meals; for further dietary advice contact the Institute for Optimum Nutrition (http:// www.ion.ac.uk/) or speak to your GP or pharmacist. Also remember, taking a little bit of what you like and simply enjoying eating does you good. Vitamin supplements and secondary treatments, such as Chinese herbal medicine, massage, saunas, and maintaining the most achievable level of personal care in terms of clothing and self-presentation will also lift mood, especially if you enjoy shopping! To end this piece, I offer this advice: if you can’t exercise your body, exercise your mind.
Allan Malik Dennis-Smith is a former personal fitness instructor and employee at London Sports Forum for Disabled People.
Image: totalhealthstartshere.wordpress.com
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Mindfulness Kate Massey-Chase Photo: Sarah Lines
O
n 28th March, I joined a staggering
only been involved in JKZ’s mindfulness
1000 other people at the Friend’s
course for parliamentarians (I wish they’d
House on the Euston Road for An
make it compulsory in Whitehall!), but will
evening with John Kabat-Zinn. Famed for
also be involved in a pilot study to reform
bringing Mindfulness to the West, 35 years
PSHE (Personal, Social, Health Education)
ago, the evening was a celebration and
in schools, including adding mindfulness to
further investigation into this practice: ‘an
the curriculum. But, rather than going off on
adventure into the art of conscious living’.
a tangential rant about the need for cohe-
The event was run by Action for Happiness,
sive, consistent and relevant emotional and
and introduced by their chair, Mark William-
social education in our schools (a matter
son, an organisation whose prime concern
close to my heart), I shall try and stick to JKZ
is to take action to try and create a happier
and mindfulness for the moment – and mind-
world. They do this by looking both outside
fulness is all about the moment!
– calling on political leaders and those with the power to change policy – and inside
Mindfulness – a practice rather than a tech-
at the self, in an endeavour to maximise
nique, as it is something you cannot simply
human wellbeing.
learn and store away somewhere, but more a way of living in the world, ideally a way of
JKZ (as I shall call him, for ease) was
living that is practised and observed daily – is
welcomed to the stage by Lord Rich-
drawn from the principles of Buddhist medi-
ard Layard, the economist – and Labour
tation, and is essentially the act of being with
peer – who made the economic case for
our experience as it is unfolding, moment
IAPT (Improving Access for Psychologi-
by moment. JKZ described it as ‘the aware-
cal Therapy) to the Labour government in
ness that arises intentionally, in the present
2006. I was thrilled to hear Layard had not
moment, non-judgementally’. Or something
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like that – it was quite hard to be in the
hard to explain in a few
moment, listen, and frantically scribble
paragraphs or pages, and
notes all at the same time! But breaking it
thus actually doing it was
down into its necessary components, it is:
important to the discussion. I found myself repeat-
Awareness: This is not ‘doing nothing’,
edly trying to explain it in
but ‘non-doing’: waking up to the world
my head throughout the
around us; being present without an
evening, knowing my part-
agenda.
ner would ask when I go home what it had been
Intentional: Interestingly, he described it as
about. And, pre-emptive
‘a radical act to wake up early and take
of her questioning, trying to
your seat every morning’, particularly in a
answer: But what purpose
world where distractions seem everywhere;
does it serve? And, as I was
intentionally being in the moment, rather
trying to be mindful, my
than the past or future.
thoughts were going: Yes, it’s all very nice to have some quiet time, to
Present: Right now, this very moment.
reflect, but… although, hang on, we’re in the now, aren’t we? So, we’re not reflect-
Non-judgemental: He talked about the
ing, we’re….what are we doing again? Oh
importance of cultivating an ‘affectionate
yes, trying not to think. Eek, I’ve ruined it:
attention’; ‘putting the welcome mat out
I’m thinking. And now I’m worrying about
for things as they are’.
thinking. Which is even worse! Arghhh, I’m really bad at this! So goes the mind chatter.
Mindfulness is essentially being fully mindful, physically, emotionally, mentally of the
JKZ says: ‘We need to get out of our own
now; my favourite thing he said was ‘Now
way, to the silence underneath and
is the now. Check your watch – it’s now
between every sound’. But, as a rela-
again’. As a group of over 1000 individu-
tive novice, it’s hard not to want to shout:
als we all came together in a moment of
‘How?!!’ Yet – and as an educationalist, this
formal meditation, quite early on in the
is something I hold true for many things – he
evening, which JKZ instigated by rolling his
says we should covet a beginner’s mind,
sleeves up and saying, ‘Let’s arrive’. Mind-
the place where we see things newly,
fulness is complex in its simplicity and very
freshly, and non-judgmentally. He also
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repeatedly reinforced that
radical, sitting down in silence action it
you can’t develop muscles
may be – to transform the world we live
without resistance, so the
it. And although he told us, ‘You’re fine
fact that trying to be a
the way you are’, none of us would be
human being, rather than a
worse for being mindful of the world in
human doing, is hard is part
which we live, at this moment, exactly as
of the process. And part of
it is and we are. Interestingly, in all Asian
why this is a practice, rather
languages the word for heart and mind is
than a technique. He used
the same thing; mindfulness is also heart-
the analogy of thoughts
fulness.
as weather patterns in the mind, drifting across, which is
If you need more convincing to take a
a metaphor I find really help-
quiet seat every morning and attune
ful, and will certainly use to
yourself to the cosmos, there is also some
calm my chattering mind.
amazing sciencey stuff to do with epigenetics, biochemistry, enzymes and
I worried that it could be seen as ego-
things, which I’m probably not clever
centric and self-absorbed to dedicate
enough to explain, so you might want to
that much time to yourself (which is indic-
google. Although the crux of it was that
ative of both my own hang ups regard-
daily practice of mindfulness leads to
ing guilt over self-compassion, and that
greater emotional balance, caused by
I find any talk of ‘cultivating the garden
more left than right brain activation in the
of the heart’ flips my sceptical switch
pre-frontal cortex, and greater anti-body
on). But – and really there doesn’t need
production.
to be a ‘but’ to justify it, but I’ll slip one in for other sceptics out there – mindfulness
If mindfulness is therefore an ‘act of love,
looks out as well as in, and is also about
sanity and self-compassion’, which has a
‘being in wise relationship with the suffer-
positive impact on not just my emotional
ing and happiness around us’, learning
but also my physical wellbeing, and
self-compassion and compassion for
which also builds compassion for others,
others. JKZ also highlighted the urgency
then I’m sold. And you can do it sitting
of it: destruction is woven into our human
down – brilliant!
nature, and we need to take action –
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EQUILIBRIUM GALLERY SPACE: PHOTOS
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IMAGES BY: Leigh Johnstone, Alyssa Grace Sorresso, Tom Leman, Sarah Lines and Emily.J.Barrow
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A PORTRAIT OF JAMES A Submissions to the BP Portrait Awards, 2013 - AGAIN! Anthony J. Parke
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kate wants inro how ot into painting
I
’ve always been interested in painting
clothes they were wearing. In some way
people, mainly because I’ve always
these aspects added to the understand-
been awe-struck by the capabilities
ing of the sitter, offered a gateway into
of so many portrait artists I’ve come
that person’s life. Of course this gateway
across over the years. My initial attempts
can be found by many other means too,
at portraits (reaching back some twenty
through the features (though I don’t believe
years or so), were what I harshly regard as
mine ever did), something about the way
second-rate; but over the years I’ve gradu-
the paint is handled, the colour, the line, in
ally improved and this is mainly due to
fact the list is endless. But those two aspects
researching a myriad of techniques until
mentioned above, for me at least, stood
I found one that suited. So with gradual
out.
improvements I find myself entering the BP Portrait Awards for the third consecutive
Of course there are always exceptions
year (all previous submissions rejected).
to the rule (and this may not even be the rule!): notably Michael Gaskell’s tempera
On previous occasions I’d submitted quite
portraits which are free of any narra-
conventional portraits, usually female, look-
tive element. One could hardly say that
ing quite classical, and tightly cropped to
anything in his exceptional portraits offered
the head. I noticed what I took to be a
an overt insight into the sitter’s psyche;
difference between my paintings and those
there is no narrative at play. However the
being selected. It was by no means some-
majority of submissions seem to me to both
thing which appeared across the board,
carry a narrative and be three-quarter or
but certainly in many instances: a) many
full length.
portraits had a narrative element, sometimes subtle, sometimes prominent, and
This is not an exact science, and nor should
b) the portraits were usually three-quarter
it be. But considering these aspects at least
length or full length.
allowed me to come up with what I now regard as my most successful portrait. (Am I
The setup for the narrative was the environ-
allowed to say that?)
ment, usually a living room, a work place, an outdoor backdrop. It could be the
This years portrait of my brother James is by
way the sitter was seated or standing, the
no means a choreographed painting solely cont.
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cont. designed to cynically meet some covert
their features and posture and physical
criteria of the BP Awards. No doubt many
context – and in doing so striving to come
artists to some degree tailor their work to try
closer to capturing a fairer, more rounded
and ‘fit’ the awards. And why not. I simply
representation that person.
felt a narrative context and three-quarter size pose would allow me a greater prospect
Whether the portrait gets in this year is
of selection. This is of course an international
perhaps not the important thing. Perhaps the
stage for portrait artists, and commissions can
real award for this year’s submission has been
come off the back of exhibiting here.
stepping outside of a very comfortable way of painting portraits, and exploring some-
I knew a portrait of James would generate an
thing a little more provocative. It’s essentially
image which would be striking, which would
the difference between paintings done
have that narrative element; and of course,
for commission, and paintings which I may
I wanted to ensure it would be three-quarter
choose to do for myself. I now have a clearer
length. I also wanted it to be a painting which
understanding of what I might like to paint for
represented the journey I’m currently on as
myself. Which is a small reward in itself.
a painter, which is one of not limiting myself. And having completed this submission I feel my painterly toolkit is far broader than it was prior to the submission. My submission this year is of my brother, James. Now James was diagnosed with a severe mental illness at the ridiculously young age of fourteen. He is now 51. Suffering from Schizophrenia for that length of time, all the various drugs that have been pumped through his system, takes a toll, and that history becomes evident and etched into the features. His face stands out as being the face that belongs to a life that has been less than ordinary. But I guess it’s not enough to paint a face that is different. It’s about painting that person’s life, sensing their life through Contact: www.parkepaintings.com www.anthonyparke.blogspot.co.uk
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Brain synchronicity and the Neanderthals There is a theory that Neanderthals, ‘who flourished between 200,000 and 30,000 years ago and who share 99.84% of their DNA with us’, may have had some sort of language which they used to enable themselves to hunt together; indeed it would have been difficult without it. Living in groups of four or five and having to deal with the technology they had of shaping stone heads for their spears or dealing with the incidents of being injured during their hunting, communication would have been vital. They therefore could have been exposed to ‘problems that modern humans face, such as schizophrenia’. Interestingly, the theory ‘puts the disease down to brain coordination problems between the brains left and right hemispheres’ (The Inner Neanderthal: New Scientist 14 January 2012). This draws an interesting parallel with a point I picked up on in a previous article that illustrated the way that people who practise Transcendental Meditation techniques have shown increased brain synchronicity and a decrease in stress levels. This in turn is an example of the utility of becoming more aware of our individual evolutionary paths and how nature allows for a solution that helps man reach ever upwards to the potential he has for greater happiness. Ian Stewart
Literature and the Brain According to research, so an article in the Telegraph reports (Julie Henry, 17/01/13), reading the classics can give the brain a boost in terms of producing more electrical activity. Reading more challenging subjects such as the poetry of Wordsworth or the work of Shakespeare caused the monitoring of brain activity to light up, more so than less challenging material. An English professor working on the study is quoted as saying: “Serious literature acts like a rocket booster to the brain. The research shows the power of literature to shift mental pathways, to create new thoughts, shapes and connections in the young and staid alike.” The research involving 30 volunteers showed that unfamiliar words caused brain activity to peak and primed the brain “for more attention.” Later the researchers intend to try to understand how psychology can be affected and whether or not there is any therapeutic benefit. Ian Stewart
www.haringey.gov.uk/equilibrium
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A Funding Fog Kate Massey-Chase
F
rom September to July last year,
a platform for the women’s voices and
CoolTan Arts, a charity run by and
recognition of their talent.
for adults with mental distress, ran
a women’s poetry group which I facili-
Since March 2011, however, CoolTan has
tated. With a strong belief that mental
lost 100% of its service-level agreement
wellbeing is enhanced by the power of
with the South London and Maudsley
creativity, their chief executive Michelle
NHS Foundation Trust in the wake of the
Baharier identified two reasons in particu-
‘Personalisation’ programme of personal
lar to set up a women’s poetry group:
budgets, introduced by the Department
“The cathartic nature of words and
of Health (DoH). Personal budgets are
because in a male-dominated society
an allocation of funding given to some-
women’s spaces remain important.” At
one based on an assessment of their
the end of the project they published
needs, intended to help them design
an anthology of the participants’ work,
a package of social care support so
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Summer/ Issue 38
that they gain more control over the support
ing Communities fund as a provision for those
they access. Rolled out in England since
missing out on personal budgets. That has
2008, although the original target of having
now ended and the remaining poetry group
all council-funded service-users on personal
is only open to men and women who pay
budgets has now been pushed back from
for their participation from their personal
April 2013 to 2015, personalisation remains
budget or other sources. Unfortunately several
the future of social care funding. However,
women who attended our workshops last
although intended to empower those in
year are not in receipt of this funding and are
need of community care services through
not in a financial position to attend, despite
greater choice and control, in practice it is
the benefits to their health and wellbeing.
hard to determine whether personalisation is triggering more service-user involvement or
Staying abreast of changes in policy and
estrangement.
provision is fundamental to preparing for any arts work in the margins, in order to both
Applying for a personal health budget can
respond to the needs of participants and
be a daunting process - a 30-page assess-
map out where the furrows are in the ever-
ment form, with different criteria for eligibility
changing terrain – holes and gullies through
in different boroughs. Speaking to Edward
which the vulnerable can fall, depending
Omeni, a researcher from King’s College
on where they sit in the hierarchy of need, or
London who ran a focus group on person-
indeed which borough they live in. We know
alisation with CoolTan participants, he
that the arts can make a difference to the
suggested that the complexity of the appli-
lives of those who engage with them. After
cation process – and the problem of profes-
her first workshop, one poet said: “When I
sionals still not knowing enough themselves
started the class today I couldn’t even read
– has meant that service-users are trying to
the poem. And now, in two hours, I’ve not
be their own social workers, navigate the
only read and understood all of them, but
system and ultimately lose services. As one
I’ve also written my own - and it’s going to
participant said in a podcast on the subject:
be published! I finally feel like the grey fog in
“God knows what it really does mean! With
my brain has started to lift for the first time in
all bureaucratic words you sometimes feel
two years.” Her care support had not been
that something is getting a bit worse or more
‘personalised’ by policy, and without alterna-
complicated.”
tive funding, she might still be in the fog.
The women’s poetry group at CoolTan Arts
First published by Arts Professional, in Issue
was partly funded by the Big Lottery’s Reach-
263, Thursday 11 April 2013
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Pastel Paintings by Dawn Laporte Created in the art class at the Clarendon Centre
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Jacqui Dillon and the Hearing Voices Network At the London Philosophy Club
Copyright © 2013 Jacqui Dillon./ www.jacquidillon.org
by Polly Mortimer
J
acqui took to the little platform stage
took us straight to the heart – voice-hearing
and talked ad hoc for an hour to a full
makes complete sense.
house on a snowy January night in East
London. It’s hard to summarise the pindrop
In the wider world voices are seen as ‘symp-
atmosphere and attentive audience at her
toms’ with an 80% chance of a ‘schizophre-
feet.
nia’ diagnosis, and those hearing voices who visit a psychiatrist will be given neuroleptics to
Starting by name-checking the great Judith
eradicate them. It’s said this ‘works’ for 33%
Hermann and those Dutch pioneers of the
of these people, and 67% ‘benefit’. Before
HVN, Marius Romme and Sandra Escher, she
psychiatry voice hearing was seen very differ-
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ently. It’s a common experience with up to
People need to be asked ‘what’s your story?’
10% of people hearing voices. 2/3 of these
‘What’s happened to you?’
never see psychiatrists. Jacqui explained that hearing voices is a reaction to extreme things
HVN is not pointing the finger at the psychi-
happening, (PM - or which have happened),
atric profession but creating alternatives and
in people’s lives. The HVN is the polar opposite
moving beyond the status quo. Jacqui’s own
of the traditional approach; they understand
experience of voices has led her to feel they
and listen and enable survival. They support
are ‘communications from the unconscious’ –
people to listen and understand the voices.
they talk to each other and even dictate what
Voices are on a continuum of human experi-
she needs to write. She hears many voices:
ence. This supportive and person-centred
women, children, different accents. That begs
approach has spread to 26 countries with a
to question: what is the difference between a
US network kicking off – on a continent domi-
voice and a thought?
nated by profit-driven big pharma & the stranglehold of the insurance companies. Different
Psychiatrists are quick to dub voices ‘misattrib-
cultural backgrounds are much more accept-
uted inner speech’ and pathologies the expe-
ing of voice-hearing and hearers, far from the
rience. This does voices a disservice. The whole
taboo culture which equate voices with mad
‘thought’ and ‘voice’ area is a knotty one –
to bad to dangerous to unpredictable.
which is a thought, which is a voice? She has heard voices telling her to kill, but does not act
The 180 or so groups in England provide,
on them; one is responsible for one’s actions.
above all, a safe space to share experiences.
Treatment reduces risk.
Voice-hearers talk about their voices ‘knowing their Achilles Heel’ and their personal
Threatening voices need to be heard more
taboos. Theses groups give expertise and
about and engaged with. The hearer must be
share expertise. ‘You are the expert in your
kept safe.
own experience’. It is a process of empowerment – divorced from the dominant ‘expert’
Her definition of a good psychiatrist is one not
doctor and passive patient model. Those who
subscribing to DSM, someone who does not
are labeled ‘psychotic’ are frequently those
pathologies and recognizes distress as an ordi-
who are overwhelmed by distressing life expe-
nary human reaction. Someone who listens, is
riences, which are uncomfortable for people
humble and curious. They are more existential
to hear, often abuse, racism and/or poverty.
– concerned with the meaning of life. Jacqui’s cont.
www.haringey.gov.uk/equilibrium
EQUILIBRIUM 24 EQUILIBRIUM
cont. voices used to tell her to cut herself; through therapy she could untangle the cutting. It was a shame, anger and rage release. At the HVN meetings all explanations for
Divas Girly Talk
anything. She has developed a working rela-
A
tionship with her voices and renegotiated
how not to have unwanted pregnancies.
hearing voices are accepted. There is a respect for all in the group – whether they say their voices are aliens or neighbours or
s a young person, some girls are given the talk about the facts of life (i.e. ‘Where do babies come from?’). What
I was told from home and school, emphasized
power, and punctured their omnipotence. At school there was a girl who got pregnant Where do ideas come from and what does
at 15 years old. This young girl told a teacher
it mean metaphorically? She feels that those
everything. All the teachers and children were
on drugs who develop a psychosis ‘reveal’
eventually told. She remained anonymous (they
through drugs rather than have the psycho-
did not say her name), but it was obvious who it
sis ‘induced’. There are other things going
was. There was no objection to her returning to
on that lead someone to take drugs – there
school but she did not feel she could cope.
are reasons. Recovery is finding one’s own
My best friend has a teenage daughter. When
knowledge and power.
she was about 14 the first thing I told her about men, is not to bring an idiotic man to the house. I
So much has been done: creating safe
also gave her a card that said ’When is the best
spaces, training professionals, allying with
time to kiss a man? The card said WHEN HE’S
academics and professionals, writing, speak-
RICH!’ The whole family found it very funny. Is
ing, talking, tweeting. There is no need to
this right or is this right? I wrote in the card ‘Make
prove anything; she believes the evidence
sure you get a good man when you get big.’
is before our eyes. The evidence that someone has recovered. The qualitative
Then I noticed what some black Divas were sing-
evidence is the most important. ‘The Masters
ing about men. A Diva is a celebrated female
tools will not dismantle the Masters House’.
singer. The term is used to describe a woman of
The system is out of date and the training of
outstanding talent in the world of opera and by
psychiatrists out of date. Everything needs to
extension in theatre, cinema and popular music
be more humane.
(Wikipedia).
This was such an inspiring evening and ques-
There was a diva called Gwen Guthrie who sang
tions could have flown here and there for
a song called ‘There ain’t nothing going on but
hours. I greatly admire Jacqui and the work
the rent’. This song is basically saying she does
she is doing. Here’s hoping HVN will go from
not want a man with no money.
strength to strength.
EQUILIBRIUM EQUILIBRIUM 25
Summer/ Issue 38
by Angela
Gloria Gaynor sang a song called ‘I will survive’, which is very famous. This song is basically telling the man that she does like anymore, to get out of her life. Alesha Dixon sang a song called ‘The boy does nothing’. This song is talking about a man who does not do the housework. Janet Jackson sang a song called ‘What have you done for me lately? ‘Sunshine Anderson sang a song that she is fed up of her man’s lies. The above Divas are talking about the relationships they’ve had with men that are no good. Then I had to look at the other side of the coin and told her about some positive examples from Divas. The first example I told her about was the Tina Turner song called ‘Simply the Best’. It is a beautiful song and I like the words. I am surprised that she did not write a song about her former husband Ike Turner. Maybe she was too scared to sing about what she really thought about him. Or maybe it hurt too much. Chaka Khan sang a song called ‘Ain’t nobody loves me better’. She is basically singing a song about a man that made her very happy. I would like my friend’s daughter to be
www.haringey.gov.uk/equilibrium
choosey when it comes to having a relationship with the opposite sex. It’s best not to rush into things you will later regret, especially when you are young. I was born in the 60’s (don’t tell anyone!). If you are not careful love can be just a four letter word. The UK has the most under aged pregnancies in Europe, with 2.9 out of every 100 girls aged between 15 and 19 giving birth every year (‘UK tops league of teenage pregnancy’, Steve Dougherty, Daily Mail). I think this is quite negative for all concerned. Tina Turner asks ‘What’s Love got to do with it?’ These under aged pregnancies must be affecting the economy because these young girls did not get a career, and the government has to support mother and baby. Has the way that men treat women changed negatively? Maybe it’s because women are now more career-orientated. Have the roles reversed?
www.wikihow.com/Disco
called ‘Heard it all before’, which is saying
EQUILIBRIUM EQUILIBRIUM 26
Haringey Cuts The cuts and their impact on mental health services in Haringey. Dev
S
ince the current government being
When people say ‘Mental Health Problems’
sworn in 2011, Haringey council has
they don’t mean that he or she is having a
made massive cuts to the mental
mood swing or being moody, but is unable
health services. Within the last two
years much needed centres like the 684 (day centre), Alexandra Road Crisis Unit (a respite care centre) and other services have been axed. This could be due to the double-dip recession.
to control their condition. This could be a terrifying ordeal and have side effects. One of the reasons why these services are needed is because people with this condition need regular support and a place to go where they can meet people with similar
Presumably, the Clarington Centre will
problems and a safe place where they are
be left to take on some members from
not judged as being mad or out of control.
those centres. This means the centre staff will have to take on and manage larger numbers of members. Saying this, the centre is turning into a wellbeing college and a café from a day centre, so things are changing anyway. Also, as it stands, some
With the cuts to the services, it makes it more difficult to control or find places for them to go for support on a regular basis. As well as meaning ever-reducing support to
people may not be able to access some
people with mental health conditions. This
services because they don’t have ‘second-
could be due to ‘lack of service support’
ary support’ or have a personal budget.
and staff to handle these situations.
EQUILIBRIUM 27
Sometimes at the emergency drop-in centres where you come in desperately to get help, you are sent back with some stronger doses of medicine and assigned to a ‘home care support team’. Sometimes this does not work but makes it worse. Saying that, some medicines do work and help them feel calmer and may cause some relief for the person or help some of their symptoms. According to Haringey council and central government, GPs will have more control over local services. To deal with mental health conditions you would need trained
words you help yourself. This could work two ways 1. Other people with same difficulties help people with the same problems, i.e. peer support. 2. Charities might help. This might take some pressure of the under-staffed and resourced services. Charities, and any services like Mind, Canning Crescent, provide valuable support to people with mental health problems. I hope the existing services, including charities, are able to support all those who need them.
professionals, so I wonder: how would a GP who deals primarily with physical health deal with a non-physical condition? The council has also suggested that other members be involved in their care. In other
EQUILIBRIUM 28
Middle of the Storm Alyssa Grace Sorresso
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Summer/ Issue 38
F
or me, 2010 was the year of The Risk. I
£1500 to cycle to Amsterdam through a total
had uprooted myself from my home,
of 4 countries and 280 miles in 3 days. We are
work and life in Chicago, Illinois to study
on day 3. My breath is steady as I concentrate
abroad for a year in London, England. I was
through the droplets. I have never in my life
lost back in the states, not knowing who I was
ridden this far on a bike.
or what I wanted, a result of several years of job burn-out and multiple, drama-ridden rela-
A week before our departure, I started flip-
tionships. Some of my friends had hinted that I
ping out. What the hell was I thinking? Leaving
was actually running away from my problems;
in the middle of my dissertation for a 280-mile
but I knew that even if that were the case, I
bike ride? I couldn’t even conceptually under-
wasn’t happy where I was. I had to risk every-
stand that number, much less imagine myself
thing for my wellbeing or regret doing nothing.
completing the journey. My “training” had
And that attitude is what ultimately landed me
consisted of cycling around London, visiting the
on a bike, cycling 280 miles in 3 days, in the
Notting Hill area once a week to go up what I
middle of a storm.
considered a really steep incline. I had missed my only opportunity to do a long distance
I am pedalling furiously on my bicycle on a
practice ride due to illness. And despite taking
high bridge in the Netherlands. Rain is hitting
all precautions by purchasing absolutely every
my sunglasses and soaking through the layers
item on our guide’s “to-pack” list, including 2
of body armor and an all-weather jacket. At 30
extra tubes of chamie cream, I was seriously
mph, I have only one thought: do not fall.
doubting myself and my sanity.
32 other cyclists are in various positions and
As Day 1 began, I started off in the “slow”
speeds around me, all riding to raise money
group (10-15 mph), as I wasn’t sure I could
for a non-profit theatre company called
keep up a higher speed. However, by the first
Cardboard Citizens. I have worked for the
stop on our trip, I had moved up to the middle
Citz as an intern to fulfil a requirement for my
or “fast” group (20-25 mph). As we travelled
Masters degree in London. At this moment, I
down through southern England, I fought my
am supposed to be in London, holed up in my
way up truly steep inclines that bitch-slapped
flat, researching and writing my dissertation
Notting Hill, and relished in the freefall of a
that is due in two weeks. Instead, I have raised
well-earned decline. I felt the actual purpose
cont. www.haringey.gov.uk/equilibrium
EQUILIBRIUM EQUILIBRIUM 30
cont. Now in Day 3, we are firmly planted in the southern Netherlands. The weather is threatening rain, but we are spared for the morning. So we fly along the Noordzee Cycle Route, topping 36 miles an hour. I receive the gift of a tailwind and effortlessly sail along the path. The sun peaks out and lights up the environment around me: rolling blue ocean backed by opulent sand and lush prairie grasses. As I pedal, I remove a camera from the back of energy bars, gels and drinks coursing through
pocket of my jacket, hold it at arm’s length,
my body, and swore never again to just eat them
and snap a picture of myself. My smile is
because I was hungry at 3 p.m. By the end of the
huge. I feel great. Here I am in the home
first day, I was knackered, refusing to climb the
stretch, Day 3, almost to Amsterdam. I don’t
last hill in the middle of lush Dover foliage, instead
really care that I left in the middle of my
opting for a ride to our accommodations. But I
dissertation or that I double-packed all the
had made it through the first day of cycling about
suggested items; nothing of that matters here.
80 miles. London and my doubts seemed so much
I gaze up at some thickening clouds in the
smaller.
distance and realize I am truly content.
Our agenda for the Day 2 was at least 100 miles
Within an hour, the thickening clouds turn into
through three countries: starting in Dunkerque,
a downpour, and everyone is immediately
France (to which we took a ferry from Dover in the
soaked to the bone. We break for a light mid-
morning), through Belgium, and ending in Middel-
morning snack, but it’s quick. Our guides say
burg, The Netherlands. The journey was expected
we don’t want to stop for long, but rather try
to be grueling, but the near-perfect weather
and outride the weather. I huddle inside the
softened the miles. We cycled along Belgium’s
food van that follows us, attempting to dry
canals with a surprise pub stop by a picturesque
out a little before getting back on my seat.
windmill. We sang Beatles songs while enjoying the
As our group takes off, I realize that I hate
ease of our slipstreams. We even laughed at carry-
cycling in the rain more than anything.
ing our bikes through the mud and darkness to the hotel, where we finished off the last of our 120 miles
Getting ahead of the weather starts to seem
with wine and chicken dinner.
like an impossible task. The showers won’t let
EQUILIBRIUM EQUILIBRIUM 31
Summer/ Issue 38
up, and we approach a long stretch of a tram
that a rib has punctured my lung. I am para-
bridge. The rain has made the concrete slick
lyzed. Our guide and several other cyclemates
like glass. Deeply embedded tracks run down
surround me, asking if I can hear them. I lie
the middle of the bridge. I feel anxiety rise up
there telling them I am having trouble breath-
in my chest. I bring my concentration back
ing and they say the doctor is on the way. They
to pedalling and breath, settling into a tense,
tell me to stay with them, talking to me about
meditative state. The rain starts coming down
anything. I learn I was the first of four cyclists to
harder as I work to keep pace. With each spin
fall independently; we went down, one after
of my feet I chant, Do not fall, Do not fall, Do
the other, like dominos.
not fall. Everyone around me is struggling. We should stop, but there is no cover. One of our guides has ridden further up and doubled back, shouting to let us know that the rain is clearing near the end of the bridge. Only a couple miles or so to go. I register his words with a slight nod of my head. I don’t want to chance any unnecessary movement. I watch our guide position himself in front to
The doctor comes. I am able to breathe a little
lead our group to safety when I feel my handle-
more easily, but still feel numb. Shock and disas-
bars twist sharply out of my hands. In mere
sociation are strong, and I only respond with
seconds I realize my front tire is caught in the
mumbles and nods, staring up at the clouded
tram tracks, and that I am hurtling towards the
sky. Rain falls silently on my face and it is cold.
hard, wet cement. Then there is no more think-
After a few minutes, my fellow cyclists carefully
ing. The left side of my body hits the ground,
move me to the side of the bridge where I can
chest first, with a jarring impact. The bouncing
sit and be further evaluated. The doctor finds
of my helmet follows as I slide a few feet from
some bloodied scrapes on my legs and arms,
my bike and lay motionless.
but not many. My layers of clothing saved my skin from being shorn off. There are no broken
I cannot breathe. My first coherent thought is
bones or unbearable pains when moving my
that I’m having a heart attack. The second is
limbs. I just feel stiff and achy. The doctor says cont.
www.haringey.gov.uk/equilibrium
EQUILIBRIUM EQUILIBRIUM 32
cont. the worst thing I seem to be suffering from is
enters, pushes the powder suspiciously with
shock.
her foot and leaves. She must have thought it was cocaine.
They put me in the doctor’s van and wrap me in a blanket. I shiver violently, unable to
Back in the van, I fall asleep as we cross
generate any warmth. Outside the van our
on the ferry. When I wake up, I feel tested
guide discusses the multiple accidents with
but resilient. I want to get back on my bike
the doctor. The other cyclists are back on
and ride the rest of the way to Amsterdam.
their bikes – I was the worst fall of the four.
The group is taking a lunch break while the
They decide the weather has cleared up
doctor checks me over and gives me his
enough, and the group should continue on. I
approval. I wander back into my cycling
am told to rest as much as I need, eat a lot of
group, greeted enthusiastically by my
sugar and drink water.
friends. Our guide hands me a peanut butter sandwich and a banana, both of which I
I ride with the doctor in the passenger side
devour immediately. The food makes me
seat. Eventually, I start feeling grounded
feel somewhat human again. My friends are
again, back in my body, but I am exhausted.
concerned about me riding, but I assure
About 3 hours go by and we arrive at a
them it’s ok, that I can do it. I shake off the
dock where we need to take a ferry into the
last of my fall and push off with 32 other bikes,
northern Netherlands. I get out of the van
32 other comrades who had stumbled, fallen
and slowly walk to what looks like a nearby
and gotten back up again just like me. And
restaurant to change my clothes. The restau-
when we end our ride in Dam Square that
rant turns out to be a combination casino
night, I cheer with everyone, ringing my bell,
and strip club, but flashing lights and naked
knowing the risk was worth the fall.
women are the least of my concerns. I’m focused more on removing my clothing that I haven’t changed since the fall. In the bathroom I begin to peel the layers of body armour off my skin, inspecting the newly formed bruises and abrasions. Along with a dry set of clothing, I brought talcum powder to soak up any wetness. The white powder scatters all over the bathroom floor, spilling out from underneath the door. A woman
EQUILIBRIUM EQUILIBRIUM 33
www.tactlessgrace.com
Summer/ Issue 38