Equilibrium Magazine for Wellbeing Issue 61

2017

>> Scrambled Heads >> Sports & Mental Health >> Being Assertive >> Loneliness >> Smoking Study >> Wellbeing News >> Art, Science & more

ISSUE 61

MAGAZINE FOR WELLBEING

Equilibrium Patron Dr Liz Miller Mind Champion 2008

What Equilibrium means to me‌.

WEB ALERTS If you know anyone who would like to be on our mailing list and get the magazine four times a year (no spam!) please email: equilibriumteam@hotmail. co.uk (www.haringey.gov.uk/ equilibrium).

Equilibrium is devised, created, and produced entirely by team members with experience of the mental health system.

Photo copyright remains with all individual artists and Equilibrium. All rights reserved. 2011

Graphic Design: Anthony J. Parke

I enjoyed writing a short article for the mental health magazine Equilibrium based on my personal experience of having a mental illness for the last 20 years. The office environment and people were all friendly and gave support on tap, especially when you got stuck for ideas or needed technical help using the computer. The other contributors present all shared a mental health history, so gelled well together and we were made to feel very welcome.

Norman I found Equilibrium at a crucial point, where I found an open door to try a new healing form of writing and expression. Honest, happy, healthy.

One thing I have to say, I go at my own pace and learn little lessons on computers, in art and writing, communicating, and ultimately a chance to get some self-confidence and self-esteem back after being belittled and degraded and abused. I found the open light of Equilibrium at the end of a dark tunnel of life. Equilibrium gives me a purpose. Thank you.

Blessings. Richard The magazine means a lot to me for the reason is that it allows me to write about various aspects of mental health and wellbeing. This is one of the only places where you can talk about this sticky matter and issues surrounding wellbeing. Working here also allows me to meet like-minded people, who are passionate about talking about their experiences of their conditions. Seeing these issues being published spreads information on mental health, and other topics, even further.

Devzilla Equilibrium has been a fantastic form of expression for me. I have the choice to write about what I want and I can put my ideas into practice.

I have been with Equilibrium since 2007 and I never run out of ideas of things to write about. I have enjoying writing articles, and reviews about plays, books and galleries. The Equilibrium team has changed from time to time, but we still manage to produce four copies of the magazine a year.

Angela

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EDITORIAL Spring is here and so is a lovely new issue of Equilibrium! Spring is often thought of as a time of new beginnings, as the flowers come out, the days get longer, and we start to feel more energised after the long winter. This will be my last issue as editor of Equilibrium, as I have a new beginning myself, moving to Devon to do a PhD, researching theatre and mental health. But I’ll still be contributing and staying in touch; I’ve had an amazing time facilitating the group over the last four and a half years. Thank you, everyone!

We are always delighted to hear from new people who would like to contribute to our magazine, so do please spread the word! We love your feedback, so tweet us @teamequilibrium or email equilibriumteam@hotmail. co.uk. We hope you enjoy the team’s hard work, and a special thanks, as always, to Anthony for his wonderful design skills.

Kate, Editor/Team Facilitator

DISCLAIMER Equilibrium is produced by service users. Reproduction in whole or in part is strictly forbidden without the prior permission of the Equilibrium team. Products, articles and services advertised in this publication do not necessarily carry the endorsement of Equilibrium or any of our partners.

Equilibrium is published and circulated electronically four times a year to a database of subscribers; if you do not wish to receive Equilibrium or have received it by mistake, please email unsubscribe to equilibriumteam@hotmail.co.uk

THE TEAM Facilitator/ Editor: Kate Massey-Chase.

Editorial team: Dev, Ian, Angela, Nigel, Richard, Emily, Manto, Richard.

CONTACT US Equilibrium, Clarendon Recovery College, Clarendon Road, London, N8 ODJ. 02084894860, equilibriumteam@hotmail.co.uk. We are in the office on Friday afternoons 2.30-4.30, but you can leave a message at other times and we’ll get back to you.

CONTRIBUTIONS Wanted: contributions to Equilibrium! Please email us with your news, views, poems, photos, plus articles. Anonymity guaranteed if required.

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Summer/ Issue 38

Wellbeing News Money earmarked for mental health is going to fund NHS over-spend instead

be ok’. She is running these in partner-

NHS England’s finance chief, Paul

where they will be held fortnightly after-

Baumann says, £800m, which was ‘fund-

hours. At the moment they are just in a

ing that would have been available

handful of locations around the country,

from CCGs for mental health services,

but here at Equilibrium we think they are

community health services, primary care

a great idea and hope it expands to

and other things’, will now be used to

more venues soon!

offset the overspend by NHS hospitals in

Frazled Cafes

ship with Marks and Spencer’s cafés,

2015-16. Barbara Keeley, shadow minister for mental health, has said: ‘The news that the government is using mental health funding to plug the gaps in other

Spring Budget

NHS spending flies in the face of Tory

In the Spring Budget, the Chancellor of

government pledges for improved fund-

the Exchequer, Philip Hammond, has

ing for mental health.’

announced more funding for Sustain-

The Guardian

ability and Transformation Plans (STPs), social care and the liaison between GPs

Ruby Wax’s ‘Frazzled Cafés’

and Accident and Emergency (A&E) services in England. Vicki Nash, Head

Ruby Wax, a passionate spokesperson

of Policy and Campaigns at the char-

for the importance of talking about

ity Mind, has responded with this state-

our mental health, is launching Fraz-

ment:

zled Cafés, to ‘provide a “talk-in” place

where people who are feeling frazzled

ing in these three areas, all of which

can meet on a regular basis to talk and

are vital to people with mental health

share their personal stories in a safe,

problems. While the extra money is

anonymous and non-judgmental envi-

appreciated, what the system actually

ronment - a place where it’s ok, to not

does with it will really go to show if the

“We welcome additional fund-

Cont.

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Government and the NHS is genuinely

trained to teach mindfulness, according

committed to making mental health as

to the Mindfulness Initiative, and that this

important as physical health. It’s also

number is growing all the time. Research

worrying that the Chancellor failed to

suggests that mindfulness can help with

mention mental health explicitly, despite

concentration, self-compassion and

the Prime Minister’s rhetoric around the

managing stress – this isn’t just important

‘burning injustices’ still faced by the

for providing an environment where

people Mind represent. Far too many

children can learn, but are also life-long

people with mental health problems tell

tools.

us they’ve been stuck in hospital when

The Mindfulness Initiative.

there’s nowhere else for them to go, or conversely that they’re discharged too soon after being admitted at their most

Watching birds from your window

unwell, experiencing a mental health

Recent research from academics at

crisis. Even after you’ve left hospital,

the University of Exeter, the British Trust

whether for physical or mental health

for Ornithology and the University of

problems, or both, it’s really important

Queensland, has proved that watching

you’re given follow-up support to help

birds near your home is good for your

you get well, stay well and get your life

mental health and that people living in

back on track. At the moment we know

neighbourhoods with more birds, shrubs

far too few people with mental health

and trees are less likely to suffer from

problems are provided with the ongo-

depression, anxiety and stress. Interest-

ing support they might need after a

ingly, the study shows that it is not the

spell in hospital, and can end up being

species of birds that you can see that

re-admitted.”

makes the difference, but the number of birds.

MIND www.exeter.ac.uk

Mindfulness to help children’s mental well-being in schools We are really pleased to hear that over 5,000 teachers in the UK have been

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Summer/ Issue 38

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Scrambled Heads Tackling Mental Health Head On Emily Palmer

M

y name is Emily Palmer. I’m 18 years old, and the author and illustrator of Scram-

bled Heads.

Scrambled Heads is a Children’s Guide to Mental Health. The book can support children who are suffering with their mental health, but also raise awareness with their siblings, family, friends, classmates and also children of parents who are suffering with poor mental health.

Featuring simple cartoon-style drawings of humanised eggs, the book explains, in a simple-but-fun way, what happens when “our brain is poorly”, and how it can affect our thoughts and feelings, and our relationships with others.

I was inspired to write the book after my own experiences with mental health. Having battled with anxiety and anorexia nervosa, I wanted to use my own experiences to encourage conversations on such an important topic. As a child I recall reading a book about visiting the hospital if I felt poorly,

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however, when I started to experience

the book so far include primary school

mental health problems there was nothing

teachers, parents and family members.

I have received some brilliant feedback

to explain what would happen to you as a patient or who you could talk to.

from my sales already.

One parent left a review that said: “I got

I want to help create a world where

mental health is discussed with children,

this book as my son is suffering with mental

and we can talk in more than whispers

illness at the moment. When he really

about our experiences. We should be

isn’t coping, his siblings looked like rabbits

proud to talk of our achievements and

caught in the headlights. They were as

successes in battling something that can

scared and confused as my son was and

take away so much.

it was really difficult to explain what was

happening in a way they would under-

I fully funded the project and I have sold

hundreds of copies in four countries across

stand and that would not frighten them.

the world.

This book now lives on my coffee table and

we talk about ‘scrambled heads’daily.”

Whilst writing Scrambled Heads, I

Another says it is a ‘must-read’ for “any

worked with teachers, psychiatrists, parents, children and mental health

child/young person dealing with mental

patients to make sure the book was accu-

health, either personally or not” and that

rate, easy to understand, and complete

“all schools should have a copy”.

10% of profits from Scrambled Heads are

with a positive message.

My main aim when writing Scrambled

Heads was to bridge a gap in the educa-

being donated directly to YoungMinds, the children’s mental health charity.

tion of mental health. Mental health affects everyone and this book aims to

help the readers recognise that it is not

‘Scrambled Heads’ is available to order on

something to be ashamed of, and it is okay

Amazon for £5.99 plus postage.

to speak up. Customers who have bought

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Know My Mind KNOW MY MIND is a small community therapeutic/educational theatre group which explores the issues of mental ill-health from service users’ and carers’ perspectives of the mental health system in Britain today.

K

MM uses creative theatre to bring

don. She is also the author of the play

to life complex issues faced in the

and was inspired to go beyond the

community.

KMM is a voluntary group, registered

‘safety net’ of the therapeutic environment of the group, and with the permis-

as a limited company. At present, the

sion of the group members penned their

company is not funded but has received

stories in a report: ‘Tell it like it is: Mental

financial support for one-off events from

Health in the Community – Opening

the Maudsley Hospital, community fund-

Pandora’s Box?’

ing, and the Croydon Commissioning Group.

KMM evolved from the director, a carer, attending a carers’ group in Croy-

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So U Think I’m Crazy?

A natural progression of expression and truth, ‘SO U THINK I’M CRAZY?’ was writ-

Summer/ Issue 38

ten with ease to expose the reality of an

ill-health through the eyes of a young

oppressive system behind locked doors

black male. It exposes the inadequacies

in a psychiatric hospital, from a service

of the mental health service in the UK. It

user and a carer’s perspective.

looks at the impact of trauma and the

Professional actors were carefully audi-

thin line of our own personal fragility of

tioned for each character in the play.

mental wellbeing and the vulnerability of

All actors are volunteers and have

the risk of ‘falling off the edge’.

shown 100% commitment to raising the

To date, ‘SO U THINK I’M CRAZY?’ has

level of awareness of mental ill-health

played live on stage up and down the

in the community. All cast members are

country to an audience of over 2000

offered emotional support in recognition

people with excellent reviews. It will be

of the subject matter and the require-

showing again in the summer of 2017,

ment to immerse themselves in the char-

so keep an eye on the website (see

acter.

below). Watch and be prepared to be

The stage show ‘SO U THINK I’M CRAZY?’ is an emotive piece of therapeutic drama which uses rap, poetry,

mesmorised! http://www.knowmymind.org/

dance and music to express mental

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Summer/ Issue 38

Label of Myself April Woodburn

I

have felt a constant insecurity since

and then ended up in a church in

being a little child. Silenced by the

which my grandfather use to pray. I

need to protect my innermost feelings

would bring in presents for my friends

and sense of loss, loss of myself and my

at school until they politely explained I

mind. I have had, as society would say,

did not need to do this. I would exces-

a mental health problem for as long as

sively clean or not clean through my

I can remember. However, I have never early teens. I would cry on the carpet been labelled with a mental health

of my bathroom floor until I could not

disorder, and for that I am extremely

cry anymore.

grateful.

The label I would be given today

My mother and father met in a Narcotics Anonymous meeting, both

would be OCD. I used to Febreeze

there recovering from a life lived on the

my school blazer until I smelt like a

edge. There was a lust within both of

perfume shop. I used to bring all my

them to be together, however harmful

belongings to school in my briefcase

they may become to each other. This

until the teachers of my school sat me

would be, for my mum, a relationship

down and explained this was not suit-

with an exotic man, and for my father

able. A compulsive liar, I used to lie

he saw another lady that he could

about where I lived, that I lived in a

draw into his life. The foundation of our

palace and had a butler and a red

family was set. Mental illness, addiction and

carpet. I ran away to Brixton on a bus

what would become domestic abuse.

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I was a product of a mother dealing with emotional distresses caused by

learn, grow and develop.

Today, I do not have a mental health

a difficult start to her life, and a father

problem. Today, I do not take medication

with the same. That resulted in my

or seek out an outlet for the pain. However,

mother being hospitalized and me and

I do find it hard to deal with relationships,

my sister being taken away. My father

and I do have difficulties with my self-worth

took me in; unfortunately, this became

and self-esteem. I do not need a doctor

an environment for domestic abuse.

in a white jacket to tell me who I am; I

If someone dug a little deeper and

know who I am, and I have a definite right

noted that my quirky ways may have

to have individualized support. I find that

been something more… If some-

support in my loved ones, in my therapist. I

one could have noted my dysfunc-

reach out, I give and I receive.

tional attachments to others and my outbursts…

It is hard to observe the world

I believe that, for some, there are incredible benefits to being labelled with a mental health disorder. For the individuals

through your parents’ eyes when they

this helps, I am extremely grateful the help

have a clouded perception of the

is there for you.

world in the first place.

Therefore, I do not feel the difficulties

For me, or for people who may have had the same child experiences, I feel

I have faced are a result, I do not feel,

there is no chemical imbalance and there

of the genetics that were embedded in

is no disorder. Our experiences are a natu-

me; feeling low and depressed is not a

ral consequence of our pasts. There was a

personality trait. It was the environment

time when we were growing and learning

which I was born in. I saw a dysfunc-

and some things weren’t as they should

tional way of treating each other. It was

have been.

a difficult environment within which to

I have an attachment and a relationship

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Summer/ Issue 38

with both of my parents, and I am slowly forgiving and healing from the past. I do, however, acknowledge we all should be accountable for our actions towards each other and the cause and effect of abuse, neglect and emotional distresses.

My self-concept is at times broken and confused; however, for me, there is no mental illness. My mum has no mental illness; there is learnt behaviour and an emotionally stressful past.

There needs to be a change for people that, at times, have mental or emotional distress. A new language that does not preserve mental ill-health as a stigma, as a problem, and as something that needs to be shut away. If we can embrace our quirks, we can be honest about our past, and if we can undo learnt behaviour, then we shall not see ourselves as shameful, harmful humans.

We shall see ourselves as beautiful.

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Summer/ Issue 38

Mental Health & Sports NIGEL PRESTATYN

W

e don’t associate mental

themselves with. But things are shift-

illness with sports people. We

ing.

just don’t. We see them as success-

Of course, it’s never about

ful, as champions; we see them as

sports in particular. Mental ill-health

the epitome of health. Certainly on

affects everybody, in all walks of

a physical level, they can be. But

life. But there is value in professional

even that’s only half the story. We

sports people revealing their own

never see the injuries and physi-

personal health issues: it’s important

cal suffering which goes on behind

for people to know that no one is

the scenes. Neither, and more

immune, not even champions!

importantly, do we see the strug-

This has come to the fore recently

gles with mental ill-health which

with revelations by British Champion

goes on behind the scenes for

boxer Tyson Fury about his strug-

sports people. Naturally, having a

gles with his own mental ill-health.

competitive nature, sports people

Some may argue that Fury has

want to succeed, to win, to be

reached the pinnacle of his career,

‘champions’… But rarely do we

finally capturing the European

hear of professional sports people

Boxing Championship title. But, with

talking openly about their struggles

a rematch due, he dramatically

with mental ill-health. Why? Well, it

pulled out, citing mental ill-health

certainly doesn’t fit with the image

and drug use.

of success they wish to surround

cont.

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It is particular important that Tyson lives

London Marathon to raise funds for the

in a very macho-orientated environ-

charity Mind.

ment, and so his speaking openly about

Holmes says, “For me, the desire to

his depression and how it can effect

be successful took its toll and I couldn’t

even boxers, is a valuable message

handle the disappointment of my body

for the general public. Often we hear

constantly letting me down… Mental

how men suffer in silence with their

illness is a terrible thing to have to cope

mental ill-health issues, and this is clearly

with and much more needs to be done

confirmed by the fact that suicide

to help people with this hidden disabil-

remains the biggest single killer of men

ity.”

aged 20-45 in the UK. Another sportsperson to speak

By speaking openly, both Tyson and Holmes have shown that depression

openly about their mental health issues

can affect anyone, even World Cham-

is Dame Kelly Holmes. I don’t suppose

pion boxers and Gold medal-winning

it is widely known, but in her darkest

Olympians. The aim, of course, is to

moments Kelly Holmes self-harmed.

break the cycle of stigma which has

The 45-year-old suffered with depres-

long surrounded sufferers of mental

sion as she struggled to cope with inju-

ill-health. Breaking the stigma means

ries a year before her double Olympic

breaking through the wall of silence.

triumph in Athens in 2004. But impor-

While silence remains there will always

tantly, Holmes speaks openly about the

be people needlessly suffering, and

issues she has suffered, and now backs

high rates of suicide in certain demo-

a mental health campaign after her

graphics. Tyson and Holmes are helping

own battle with depression, running the

to break this cycle.

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Film review Nigel Prestatyn

L

ion has to be one of the most

train, with all its doors locked, hundreds

moving films of the year. I don’t cry

of miles from home. The small boy is

watching films, but for this one I made

trapped on the train for two entire days.

an exception! There are two aspects at

Eventually he ends up lost on the other

work as to why this film was moving for

side of the country. At only 6 years old

me: that it is a wonderfully written story,

he doesn’t know the name of where

fact-based (which makes it so much

he’s from, so has no way of returning

more poignant), and that it particularly

home.

resonated with me and my own life.

Fast forward a year or two, in and

Lion is about a young Indian boy

out of orphanages, and the boy is

of 6 who is out with his elder brother

eventually adopted by an Austral-

one evening, around the local railway

ian couple. He is flown to Australia to

station, trying to make a few rupees

live with his new adoptive parents. He

for his family. The young boy becomes

settles in well. Soon after the couple

tired, and is left to sleep in an ‘inopera-

adopt another young Indian boy, but

tive’ train while the brother goes out

this boy has a lot of psychological prob-

looking to make money. While the boy

lems, likely from mistreatment.

is asleep, the train comes to life, and

Fast forward a dozen or so years

pulls away. The boy wakes up the next

and the boy is now a grown man. But

morning to find himself on a speeding

suddenly he finds that he is becoming

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more and more troubled. He can’t

I’d never been to India before had

stop thinking about his mother and

thought that finding where he born

brother, who he thinks have been look-

and raised would help me ‘know’ him

ing for him for over twenty years, and

a little more. The only information I

still are. He knows he needs to try and

had was the name of his road, and

find them. And so begins his plan to

the district. There were no A-Z’s in India

figure out where that train was the

that I could find, and this of course

night he was taken by it aged 6.

predated Google Earth, which was

His other adopted brother is now a

used by the young man in the film. So

grown man too, but is a deeply trou-

I did a lot of wandering around the

bled young man. His mental health

district where he was born. After some

issues wreak havoc over the mother

fruitless wandering over several days, I

and father who adopted him.

eventually located the street, fittingly

Now, I can’t say any more about

called ‘Love Lane’. I knocked on the

this story without spoiling it for you.

door and no one answered. And that

Enough to say he sets off to India in

was it. Even though I was pleased to

search of his long lost mother and

see where he was born, the surround-

brother.

ing areas, it somehow felt anti-climac-

So this film really resonated with

tic. I had no idea what I expected or

me. My father was born in Bombay,

wanted. I walked off into the throng-

coming to England when he was a

ing crowds of India feeling no greater

young man. He died when I was rela-

sense of connection, but pleased I had

tively young, aged 14. As a result I

found his house. When I watched the

never felt I really got to know him as

film, it brought back these memories,

much as I would like. So 30 years ago

and so many more besides.

I went on my own journey of discovery, albeit a far more humble one.

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Poems by Marianne Antonis A Church Not Built of Bricks or Stone

Of the Same Flame

By Bakers passage and Oriel place there is a church not built of bricks or stone

Three purple magnolia trees stand: slender-centurions before the square brick house with its huge skylight orb, on Lancaster road;

A living trunk of plain tree gnarled and fenced.

an eye to a world where you can shape your own walls with money and dreams.

Queen of its paved garden; growing wide and tall.

Its upper branches smooth; it knows the years before streets and shops and cars.

Distant overhanging willows only know their pond on Hampstead Heath;

As if lighter pockets mean we can not build...

But we have the same flame as magnolias, and the woman with gold.

We are shaping our world with invisible clay.

And the fire burns in our living room.

where a single swan preens bright white like gathering gulls

Holly Tree

- I can not hear them call.

Your bark is a rhino’s hide, and your life is as precious as its horn.

A fig tree rests along the water; long past, its trunk broke through the garden wall.

Still, you stand in a fountain garden, while I walk on.

It lives on water and in the soil; each arching branch seems bare, but forms a bud

Lumps rise often around your trunk.

...and figs will grow.

And just before your branches fill with light edged leaves,

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Summer/ Issue 38

growths of bark cluster in balls; but you have no eyes to see.

You sense the other trees, the wind and light.

London is the Sea

Ebony Tree: Tell Me What It Is....

Ebony tree: your branches are the strong limbs of an athlete; flexing her muscles and getting set.

On the eve of spring from eight floors looking south: London is the sea; the hills beyond are cliffs

Your bark Is the taught skin of youth; though you know the years.

- where the sun forms a beach with a ribbon of light.

Tell me what it is to stand still and live for a long time;

There are ships on the sea:

unwavering.

St Paul’s is the last in a fleet looking east, in a harbour of roads and hidden islands.

And no one sees the waves or the shift of time and light.

But now the beach is gone and the fleet is brick and stone.

On the eve of Spring looking south: London is just London, and the hills beyond.

And you keep your poise, with many arms in shadow; some in light.

Cherry Tree Cherry tree raises its arms from behind the iron railings, and drinks a toast of white blossoms to its small garden, by the council flats on Hornsey Road.

It needs nothing but earth and hidden streams to grow its branches around air and light.

Cherry tree.

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KATE

Tourists

in Our Own City

M

y wife, Gem, and I have lived in London for six and a half years. As we

prepare for our imminent move to Devon – bring on the seaside, moors and air that won’t shorten our life expectancy (Gem wants to get chickens and go the full Felicity Kendall!) – we’ve been trying to make the most of our remaining time here. It’s a city that I love and I will really miss, but new adventures are calling. Before we leave we’ve decided to act like proper tourists and work through our ‘London bucket list’.

We’ve actually always been pretty good at making the most of the great city we live in (although on a shoe-string budget), but in the last week or so we’ve been to Kew Gardens, up the Gherkin for breakfast in the Sky Garden, round St Paul’s cathedral, and on a tour of Highgate Cemetery. It’s been magical to spend time in amazing and iconic places we’ve always meant to visit.

We’ve been walking round London with our eyes wide open, drinking it all in. And although I won’t miss unreliable public transport (we live on a Southern/Thameslink train line) and the cost of living, I think we should all take time to appreciate this beautiful, diverse, crazy city whenever we can.

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Summer/ Issue 38

LONELINESS RICHARD HUDSON

F

irst of all, I’m not lonely, so what

the phone in the evening when I’m more

follows is why, with some near misses

with it. I have many friends and contacts,

in the past, I haven’t been in that situa-

male and female, and although it might

tion for years and years.

have been nice to have been married,

Occasionally for a split second in an

it hasn’t been a practical proposition

evening early in the week (Monday or

health-wise and it wouldn’t have been

Tuesday) I think it might be nice for some-

much of a marriage for my wife. Still time

one to phone, and then perhaps it does

when I’m better! You often don’t real-

ring, or I contact someone. More usually

ise you need the warmth of personality

I realise that overall I need rest and that

from someone else until you automati-

I’m not in a fit state or capable of speak-

cally seek it when you start speaking. As I

ing to anyone, which is the reason I live

read, it is a bit disconcerting for an adult

alone.

to do this but necessary and part and

I do need company and warmth of personality from others, though, and I get that during the day out and about in my routine (which is extensive) or on

parcel for someone and me in this breakdown condition.

However, a point about nervous illness and the anxiety state is that it is a lonely

cont.

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EQUILIBRIUM 27

business, not that you are necessarily

last 2 or 3 years the stress and anxiety

lonely but that, for some, you feel you

trapped by the internalised dozing

need to be alone for a lot of the time

has been coming to the surface and

as part of the recovery process, and it

coming out as just said. So all in all not

is that that applies to me. I need abso-

long to go!

lute peace and quiet and no interrup-

One thing that makes this living

tions most nights of the week and need

alone easy to accept is a tip to that

to let myself go, switch off and shout

effect from my good consultant

out sometimes – freak out as it were.

psychiatrist in the late 1980s. I’d read

Sorry neighbours!

that someone who has had a break-

The internalised tension, brain-fag

down shouldn’t really live alone and

and anxiety are gradually coming out

I thought a bit of company might be

of me – through my eyes – if I’m quiet

nice in the form of a lodger in my spare

and let it, like toothpaste coming out of

room. I mentioned this to her at one

a tube, and should be out altogether,

outpatient’s appointment and in a split

my mind seems to say, by July 2017. The second, quick as a flash: ‘Oh’ she said, turning point was 1985 when a Behav-

‘You don’t want someone else muck-

iour Therapist on the NHS stopped me

ing up your routine.’ In other words

dozing which I’d been doing evenings

“DON’T”! She was quite right and as I’m

and weekends for 1½ years whilst hold-

still not better, she’s still right. I thought

ing down a job during the day Monday

about it again in the mid-1990s when

to Friday. It’s taken me all these 30

a Japanese chap persuaded me to

years to get this out of me and in the

put him up for a night. He was so polite

EQUILIBRIUM EQUILIBRIUM 28

Summer/ Issue 38

I thought I could get someone similar

alone all day especially those whose

from an English Language college. A

husbands won’t discuss their illness

psychologist I was seeing thought it

or, indeed, won’t discuss much with

should be okay for me. Fortunately I

them. Having to put on an act before

didn’t go ahead and the consultant in

the family accentuates loneliness and

the 1980s is still right.

weariness and even apathy.

If I was stuck in my flat all day, I

To envisage sitting a week alone

would be lonely so my routine and

seems impossible. You have to be at

what I advocate in getting out stops

peace with yourself and even those at

that.

peace need to be occupied particu-

This needing a lot of solitude for

larly in dark winter days. Housework

the nervously ill is, like most nervous

doesn’t usually hold enough interest

symptoms, an exaggeration of what

and small children can be demanding

most people need or experience: for

and frustrating.

example the man going off to his allot-

If you face the silence, not shrink

ment or pigeons or football and the

from it, you often think of a job that

wife to the W.I. or lampshade making,

needs doing or look out to the garden.

gardening or doing the crossword or a

In this way you can lose the fear of

puzzle.

being alone. With understanding from

The expert on nervous illness, Dr Claire Weekes, says in her book ‘The Essential Help for your Nerves’, that being alone can include housewives

Dr Weekes’ books, you may get a sense of fellowship.

The best cure for loneliness is occupation among people and each must

cont.

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EQUILIBRIUM 29

EQUILIBRIUM

Summer/ Issue 38

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EQUILIBRIUM

find this in his or her own way. Don’t be

hold the interest and support the flag-

put off if you at first fail; keep trying! The

ging spirit acting as splints to a tired

mainstay of treatment for depression in

mind, rather than the lonely peace of

particular, but also the anxiety state, is

solitude. Go to the same place and

occupation in the company of others.

time each week to get into a routine

Doing something and with others takes

and create comfort zones – takes 3

your mind off yourself and your prob-

weeks. One fellow user on a mental

lems from time to time.

health course – stress management –

It is difficult for many to combat iner-

that I was on and to whom I mentioned

tia and go out; agoraphobics also have

this has several times reminded me of

the fear of going out to contend with.

the benefit of this to him when he put it

With depression and breakdown it can

into practice.

often be thought a good idea to send

When I came back from working in

Mary off to stay with Aunt Maude who

Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, I ended up in a

lives down the end of a valley, turn left

worse mess because of the home situ-

and down the far end of another valley.

ation – you go downhill fast without

The result, as Dr Weekes says, is that that

occupation which is, besides earn-

may well fix Mary but not quite the way

ing a living, why many non-ill people

you want Mary fixed!

work. It took me 3 months to get a job I

It’s often much better for a sufferer

could do after I’d turned down 3 offers

to sit with a drink inside or outside a

because of lack of confidence and

busy café or be in a library, even if the

then I went because the agency girl

sufferer isn’t interacting with anyone

said ‘come today’. I told myself if ever I

else. Brightness and diversion help to

was out of work again I’d do voluntary

EQUILIBRIUM EQUILIBRIUM 32

Summer/ Issue 38

work and that’s what I did when I later

& coffee in the bedroom, there’s often

got made redundant in 1987 and I’m

no residents’ lounge. Youth hostels are

still doing it!

cheaper – you don’t have to be young

To have something to get up and out for is a great help.

to stay there – and you are with others in the lounge, bedrooms, self-catering kitchen and dining areas. Visit a youth

Examples are:

hostel in London in the day-time and

•Drop-ins if you can find them.

ask a member of staff to show you

•Voluntary or part-time, or, if you can,

round the facilities, so it’s not a shock if

full-time work.

you ever decide to stay in one some-

•Exercise – keep-fit classes, gym, swim,

where.

cycling. You’re with people and can

•Pets: Having a pet for company may

often end up saying something to

be a good idea if you feel able to look

someone else even if it’s only ‘hello’.

after it. I didn’t mention it earlier, as

•If you’re of any religion there is church, I have enough trouble looking after chapel, mosque, temple or synagogue.

Going to any of these gets you up and

myself!

So make the effort to try and go out

out and a bit of exercise getting there.

however often you fail. The greatest

You’re with people even if you don’t

failure is the failure to make the effort

speak to them and there are often

and the only people who never fail in

refreshments afterwards when you can

anything are those who never try.

be with, speak, and get to know others.

Good Luck!

•Holidays: Guest houses and hotels can be a bit lonely as with T.V. and tea

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EQUILIBRIUM 33

British Born Indians The First Group DEV

EQUILIBRIUM EQUILIBRIUM 35

Summer/ Issue 38

A

s a person who was born in the

person of the opposite gender, then he

early 70s and raised in the 80s, I was

or she would be reported to their parents

part of an unofficial group: “bilety desi

or guardian by a community elder. The

saheb” (foreign Indian English person) or

result would be that they would get a large

“sahebabu” (English sir). These are the

telling-off and further monitoring. Suffice

names given to the first group of children

to say, this would at times go against what

that were born between 1964 and 1979

the child wanted. This meant that the child

outside of their country of origin, in South

would definitely not be allowed to meet, or

Asia. This group of people were the first

should I say mingle, with other “non-South

ones to be raised abroad. In other words,

Asian” friends.

our parents did not have a template to

A reason for this from a parental point of

follow when raising their British-born chil-

view was that they behaved in a way their

dren. The only way they could think of rais-

parents thought was inappropriate. Parents

ing this group was through the traditional

would have trouble figuring out if their child

Indian methods, but the rules back on the

was getting into trouble, causing trouble

subcontinent did not always fit into how life

or not doing what they were supposed to

worked in the Western world.

do. Most of all, they did not know where

From the point of view of someone born

this was going. From a South Asian point

in the UK, it was a clash of cultures. On

of view, the child in question would be

one hand, you had the traditional Indian

very curious about his or her roots. “Where

way of doing things (which was regulated

am I from?” “What is life like over there?”

by parents, plus any other older family

“Do I have any family there?” Should I do

members). On the other hand, there

things their way?” And so on. But from the

was the traditional English environment

point of view of an Indian born in the UK:

(or school) and socialising with western

“I was born and raised here; my ways are

friends. As children we would have our

different”. “I do things as people do things

every move monitored by our parents

here”. It is basically a clash of cultures.

and other community elders. For example,

This would be more prominent when the

if a child was found roaming the streets

child would visit their home country. Before

during lunchtime or was “friendly” with a

I go any further, I should say that people cont.

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EQUILIBRIUM EQUILIBRIUM 34

in South Asia (until 1995) would think

more Indian and less Western. The final

of us as saheb (meaning English) and

group have chosen to find a balance

would expect us to wear top hats and

between the two (i.e. when outside the

suits. Before 1995, some people were

family and Indian community, they are

brought up watching movies like Doctor Dolittle and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang or, to put it frankly, anything Victorian. In other words, they thought these sahebs were not Indian but English. On the flip side, here they would feel they were not “English”, because they come from a South Asian background. In short, they felt they were in no-man’s-land, neither here nor there. This could be classified as an identity conflict.

There were some cases where the

more western, and when they are with family and in the Indian community, they are more Indian). As for South Asia, after the invention of cable TV and with more international programmes being sent back and forth to the subcontinent, the local people started to get a better knowledge of what was going on with South Asian families living abroad. Luckily, other generations have more experience of what goes on abroad.

local people had found out that an

From a personal perspective, my

Indian family had gone to visit their

behaviour and how I show my cultural

extended family in London. It was later

identity depends on where I am and

heard that they were followed around;

who I am with. This is great because in

their every move was watched. There

some ways I get the best of both worlds,

were other stories surfacing from British-

but on the other hand my identity does

born Indians that had had similar expe-

feel a bit conflicted, although this has

riences. As the years passed and this

got easier with age. As India becomes

group reached their mid-twenties, some

more Americanised, I wonder what it will

of them decided not to follow their

be like for the next generation of Indians

Indian roots. They became western-

in the UK.

ised. Some of them chose to become

EQUILIBRIUM EQUILIBRIUM 37

Summer/ Issue 38

Having a Nice Home

Missed Miscarriage

A personal experience

Kate’s Poem

ANGELA

I used to live in bedsits and did so for a long time. They are the worst properties to

Days pass in circles of grief

live in. Landlords can give you grief and

Box-sets, biscuits and tears

the other tenants can cause a lot of trou-

Time is both painful and meaningless

ble. If I cooked a nice meal and left it in the kitchen, the other tenants would eat

My knowledge of the body is improv-

it. I used to clean the communal areas

ing

until it made me feel sick, and I got no

I’m learning new words

money from the landlord for doing it. I

Things I was never taught at school

didn’t get my deposit back from my landlord, because he took my copy of the

My image of the future is changing

tenancy agreement out of my room. There

From expecting to expectant

was even a lady that made me sleep in a

Waiting for a brand new world to end

freezing cold room.

I now have a council flat with central

My fears are contained and limitless

heating, a phone, a washing machine,

Hope is a dangerous necessity

a cooker, a fridge freezer, a television,

“It’s not fair” our thought refrain

and a microwave oven. What I like best about my flat is the central heating; it is

Days pass in spirals and stutters

nice to come home to a lovely warm flat.

Cups of tea, soup, dirty dishes

I remember the days when the flat was

Waiting for a life that never started

always freezing cold. The public telephone

To end.

boxes were usually out of order, so it is so convenient to have my own phone. I believe that having a nice home is good for your mental health and wellbeing.

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EQUILIBRIUM EQUILIBRIUM 36

Phrases Angela

Here is a list of phrases. Some of them

A cloud is not a positive thing, as it

funny and some are educational.

means rain might be coming, but some-

I am going to spend a penny A long time ago you use to have to pay 1p use a toilet in a train station. It is now 20p most places, but the phrase has carried on.

Every cloud has a silver lining

Photo: Anthony

EQUILIBRIUM EQUILIBRIUM 38

thing positive can come out of something negative (like the sun coming out behind the clouds).

Too many cooks spoil the broth I say, as a Jamaican woman, two Caribbean women cannot cook the same Caribbean chicken in the same kitchen!

Summer/ Issue 38

Where there is muck there is brass Brass is a slang term for money, implying that if you are doing some kind of illegal trade you are making as lot of money, e.g. drug dealing.

The four corners of the world They use to think that the world was

do that. The English version is: You don’t know when you’re lucky.

Two heads are better than one If you are trying to sort out a problem it is better to do it with somebody.

Great minds think alike.

flat in a square shape. It is actually

I like when somebody supports my

round, so I don’t understand why

idea.

people are not upside down in the Australian Soap Neighbours! I think

Out of the frying pan and into the fire

each corner of the world can be

This means do not go into a situation

represented by a different sauce:

which is going to be a problem.

Mustard from England, Barbecue from the USA, Sweet Chilli from India, and

The pot is calling the kettle black

Sweet and Sour from China. All deli-

The first kettle and pots were made

cious!

of a metal that turn black when you

The cow does not know the use of its tail until it’s cut off This is a Jamaican saying. I hope you

have used it for a long time. This phrases means you should not criticise someone when you have the same problem.

are not eating something. When the flies go onto the cow’s bottom, it moves the tail to make the flies go away. It doesn’t have a tail, it can’t

www.haringey.gov.uk/equilibrium

EQUILIBRIUM EQUILIBRIUM 39

SMOKING

and mental health Naomi

A

larming new research: One in three UK

1974. For those with mental health conditions

cigarettes smoked by mental health

though, the statistics are not being mirrored.

sufferers

The UK has witnessed a decrease

Action on Smoking & Health (ASH) found that 38% of those with a mental health prob-

in smoking, with just 19% of the population

lem reported smoking daily, and a further

labelling themselves as smokers, as opposed

13% as smoking less frequently. One third of

to 21% 2 years ago, and an alarming 45% in

the tobacco in the UK is smoked by individu-

EQUILIBRIUM EQUILIBRIUM 40-

Summer/ Issue 38

als with a mental health condition. The

should be supported, but the culture of

more severe one’s mental health condi-

smoking in patient’s units prevails, with

tion, the more likely they are to smoke,

60% ex-patients reported cases of smoking

and to smoke more heavily.

indoors, despite a ban of smoking inside

However, it is not that those with a mental

patient units in 2008.

health condition have no desire to quit, in fact, 80% cited making attempts to quit, and 36% cited a constant desire to quit.

This population faces more barriers to overcome and so requires more support to quit. Despite having contact with mental health professionals, support to quit is at present, inadequate, and it is clearly not being prioritised.

Why Are Stats Among This Population So High?

Smokers with mental health conditions gave reasons for smoking:

•Coping mechanism •Anxiety relief •Self-medication •sociability

ASH conducted two surveys. One on mental health professionals, and another

Nicotine, when smoked, can lead to

on mental health patients. It aimed to

the smoker to feel more relaxed, and is

uncover links between mental health and

consequently used as a self-medicator,

smoking. It discovered:

and stress relieving tool. However, this is a vicious cycle. The brain quickly gets used

•38% cited smoking daily •A further 13% smoked less regularly •36% smoke between 11-20 cigarettes per day.

•10% started smoking in hospital.

to the stream of dopamine which is being stimulated from the nicotine. Their brain responds with cravings and heightened stress, which is relieved only with more nicotine.

“When one is having a mental health

Such individuals are trapped in a cycle of attempts to quit, and relapses. It is clear that these individuals with a desire to quit

crisis, the worst thing you can do is give them more stress by forcing them to give up smoking, it is often a coping mechanism”, said a

cont.

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EQUILIBRIUM EQUILIBRIUM 41

woman who smokes every day, has Asperger

Our clients have such complex and multi-

Syndrome and has had an inpatient experi-

ple problems and the focus for me is on

ence.

their mental health and also social circum-

Are Staff Not Prioritising Smoking?

A number of patient smokers reported

stances, e.g. debts, homelessness, isolation, drug and alcohol problems.

There is also the important goal of devel-

not being advised to quit. Further results

oping a strong therapeutic relationship

from the ASH report revealed that 43% of

and collaborative goals. Smoking is usually

patients were not spoken to about quitting

not the top priority.

smoking, and if they had been, 37% were

When I run groups, most clients go out to

offered nothing and 23% weren’t advised

smoke in the breaks. They wouldn’t neces-

to quit. Only one fifth were offered some

sarily welcome me running out after them

support. Those staff who offered support

to talk about smoking cessation’, said

were twice as likely to have undergone

Clare, psychologist.

cessation training compared to those who hadn’t.

“That due to home circumstances and the recent increase of medication I was advised not to quit until things had settled down.” One man who has experienced depression, said:

Looking to the Future Increased support for E-cigarettes: Many of quitting methods exist out there - Staff should be trained in smoking cessation,• More research should be carried out within this area

“Agreed I should stop trying to give up until

•Barriers to quit smoking services should be

I had managed to access psychotherapy”

addressed

However, more mental health workers are undergoing smoking cessation training: “We have recently undergone smoking training cessation, which was really useful, and I do think to ask now. The biggest

•Staff should be pointed to quit smoking services, if they smoke themselves.

•Ensure harm-reduction programmes are in position for those who are unable or unwilling to give up smoking.

challenge before was remembering to ask.

EQUILIBRIUM EQUILIBRIUM 42

Summer/ Issue 38

Kate Fox www.haringey.gov.uk/equilibrium

EQUILIBRIUM EQUILIBRIUM 43

Bluebird Care Bluebird Care introduces pioneering real-time technology app to make customer care even better Nathan Hartley

An award-winning Haringey care

them and their families more inde-

provider has gone mobile and invested

pendence and comfort in their own

heavily in a pioneering new app to

homes.

enable all of its staff to provide a

Staff work across a large geographical

cutting-edge level of care.

area covering the whole of the London

Borough of Haringey.

Bluebird Care Haringey is giving

every member of staff access to the new PASSsystem app on their mobile devices.

The organisation provides at-home

care for anyone, from adults with physical disabilities to the elderly, to give

Now every single carer is receiving

training in an innovative and technologically advanced way of making sure customers receive the most up-to-date and accurate level of care with the introduction of The PASSsystem from everyLife Technologies.

EQUILIBRIUM 20

EQUILIBRIUM EQUILIBRIUM 38 44

Summer/ Issue 38

Director of Bluebird Care Haringey,

Life Technologies, said:‘We created the

Jyoti Kohli, said: ‘The PASSsystem is a

PASSsystem to help care workers manage

mobile app, which every member of staff

their visits. Our Care Support Software is

now has on their mobile phone. When our

intuitive and helpful. We believe it can

carers are out and about and have seen

help care companies make business-

a customer, they will use the app on-the-

transforming efficiencies and offer

go, wherever they are in the borough to

peace-of-mind care delivery reporting.

log what has happened during their visit.

Care Quality Commission Inspectors

have reported it as making the differ-

Other carers can then access this

information, wherever they are, and will

ence between a ‘good’ and ‘outstand-

know exactly what to do when they visit.

ing’ level of care. We are delighted to

The password protected information can

be working alongside Bluebird Care, who

also be accessed and updated from the

have a demonstrable level of achiev-

head offices instantly if we receive infor-

ing the very best for their customers and

mation about a customer’s condition.

families.’

This will save time, meaning we can

spend more time with customers, provide

For more details contact Bluebird Care

a constantly up-to-date health record

by calling 020 8801 3330, emailing harin-

and enable us to share best practice.

gey@bluebirdcare.co.uk, or by visiting

We are thrilled to be able to introduce

their website at www.bluebirdcare.co.uk/

this system and are sure it will improve our

haringey

service even further.

Customers are also able to log-in, at

anytime, to assess and keep up-to-date with the real-time information about the care of their loved one.’

Hannah Montgomery, from every-

Contact: Jyoti Kohli, Bluebird Care Haringey Managing Director, 020 8801 3330.

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