APM SHE LEAVES A LITTLE SPARKLE WHEREVER SHE GOES
ISSUE 8
A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 8 2015
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TABLE OF CONTENTS FROM THE EDITOR… The festive season is almost upon us, and already the shops are throwing decorations and special deals at us. But are you actually ready for this year to be over?
2 The Law of Attraction & How to Use it
LAUREN JOBSON LIFE COACH
10 Do Anything But Tell the Truth
helen treloar BUSINESS 12 Experience
Have you checked off all the things you wanted to see and do this year?
Kirsten BASFORD
ANTI- MARKETING
With summer just around the corner, at APM we thought that we’d help you tackle that list, one step at a time. In this months mag we have fabulous summer tips and tricks to help prepare you for the end of the year; including yummy recipes and cooking ideas, your summer must haves and reads and we cannot forget that additional styling and lifestyle tip too. I would like to thank our wonderful writers who we would be nowhere without, every month you continue to motivate through your inspiring words. Be Kind, Courageous and Confident. Taylah Parker Editor
4 4 Greens Glorious Greens
Hayley MartIn 6 What is the Measure of Success?
HELEN JOMOA FITNESS 8 3 Ways to Get Your Shizzle in Order This Spring
MAREE EDDINGS editor@apeacefulmind.com.au
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NUTRITION
ENERGY
15 Rework
book revIew DAVID HEINEMEIER-HANSSON 16 You Must Understand Me Before Getting My Money
pENNY VOTZOURAKIS CUSTOMER SERVICE
A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 8 2015
34 32 22 S O U L F O O D
32 What is My Way? HELEN TRELOAR
ADVERTISE WITH US Email your ad for approval to editor@apeacefulmind.com.au $60 per issue – direct link to your web site
WRITE FOR US
20 Techniques to Reach Your Goals
LENA TURVEY
26
PRODUCTIVITY 22 When to Quieten Your Inner Adult & Release Your Inner Child
BECKIE WHITE STYLIST 26 Traffic Generation – Article Marketing (Part 1 – 4)
34 The Challenges of Starting & Running A Business A PERSONAL JOURNEY 36 Your CEO Man
AMANDA MALLIA
THE MAN’S PERSPECTIVE
TECHNOLOGY
38 Karen Chaston
joanne clark NLP
ENGAGE WITH US
PIPPA HANSON
JULIE BOURKE 28 Dymphna Cusack – All Reality is Made Up
Would you love to be a guest writer for APM? We are always looking for fabulous content that is suitable for Women that Educates ~ Inspires ~ Informs and grows our knowledge and choices.
GUEST WRITER THE OTHER SIDE OF LOSS AND HEARTBREAK
HELP US TO HELP OTHERS
Our APM Experts …
Maree Eddings
Hayley Martin Lauren Jobson Life Coach tips and techniques to move you towards your goals in life
Helen Treloar Business & Leadership tips & articles for SME & start-ups
Beckie White Style your wardrobe & your life using Beckie’s secrets & suggestions
Nutritional advice, recipes & wellness articles to elevate your health
Helen Jomoa Fitness strategies and interesting facts to boost your vitality
Kirsten Basford The anti-marketing marketing guru magnifying your brand
Penny Votzourakis Customer service advice to grow sales and client loyalty
Julie Bourke Technology is in everyone’s life! Julie helps you use it and protect it well
Joanne Clark Bringing you NLP Success Principles through ‘Women in History’ pieces
Exploring energy and how it flows or blocks your personal power
Lena Turvey Productivity and organisation queen bringing you tips and techniques
Amanda Mallia Go behind the curtain and into the male mind with Amanda
PIPPA HANSON Be inspired by Pippa’s personal journey as a business owner, mother and wife
She leaves a little
Sparkle wherever she goes
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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 8 2015
Lauren Jobson – LIFE COACH
The Law of Attraction & How to Use It There have been many different and great
It’s unfortunately not enough to have a clear, full
sources that talk about this Universal Law.
sensory image of specifically what you want (and we’ll talk about this next). You also need to make
The Law of Attraction refers to when you allow
sure that what you desire comes from the right
yourself to focus intently upon what you desire, it
place with the right intention. And then, of course,
will then manifest for you with grace and ease.
action also needs to be taken.
What a beautiful concept it is! However, let’s fill in some of the gaps that many sources actually miss
So what is the “right” place from whence your
out on explaining. You see, this Universal Law is
desires need to come from? It’s from your 'Higher
actually only 1 out of 22 principles of the Hermetic
Self', or perhaps we could refer to it as your soul.
philosophy in Western Mystery Tradition –
The Law of Attraction actually states this. So this
sometimes called the “alternative spiritual
is not just about manifesting on a material level,
tradition”.
but rather manifesting what we want from a place
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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 8 2015
where we are completely entitled and deserving
For instance, you may want to focus on attracting a
of receiving what we want. You were born entitled
million dollars, however, you may not know exactly
to receive your hearts desires by the way, simple
what you are going to do with the money or the true
as that!
intent behind why you want it. Let’s say for this
example that you take a great deal of action Marianne Williamson said it perfectly: “We were
(because in this instance more action is needed
born to manifest the glory of God that is within us.
because the intent is not clear) and you do receive
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and
the money. Great! However, what you first thought
as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously
was attractive to you will invariably become more of
give others permission to do the same.”
a problem because you will spend it quickly and
Of course you can have material things too if they make you truly happy, because what is also important about the Law of Attraction is the intention behind why you want it. Here is a very important secret about this Law that is hardly ever mentioned… …if we focus on attracting “things” that are not truly aligned with our soul, or we don’t spend any thought on the intention/higher purpose of why we want it, we can easily be disillusioned and put off temporarily from our path.
blow it all on “stuff” that just doesn’t fulfil you. The example is often given of poor people who win the lottery but end up poor again in a very short time. So go ahead and focus specifically on what you want, but you must also understand why you want it, how it will make you feel and finally, who will you become in the achievement of your manifestations. All my love & faith in your potential,
Lauren
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Hayley Martin - Nutrition
Greens Glorious greens
You've heard it all before - greens are good, in fact they're great, you might even say glorious for you and your health, and yet they are what is most commonly missing from the modern diet.
By adding in, or upping your intake of dark leafy greens especially, you're establishing a healthy body and immune system as well as 'crowding out' the foods that are likely to have a negative effect thus keeping cravings at bay - win win! Their resume would read something
like this:
High in calcium, magnesium, iron, zinc, potassium, phosphorous and vitamins A, C, E and K. Packed with fibre, folic acid, chlorophyll and many other micronutrients and phytochemicals, these high-alkaline foods assist in strengthening the blood and respiratory system by replenishing our body’s store of alkaline minerals, neutralise acidic conditions caused by our environment. Some of the proven and possible benefits of consuming them are:
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- Blood purification - Improved circulation - Strengthened immune system - Promotion of healthy gut flora - Improved liver and kidney function - Cancer prevention - Cleared congestion - Promotion of light and flexible energy With so many greens to choose from, it's unlikely you'll get bored. Know your favourites, and every other grocery shop toss something new in the trolley. Get a bit adventurous in the kitchen by steaming, sautéing (in water or oil), boiling or serving raw, etc.
A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 8 2015
yumm y! !
Cooking you greens in different ways gives a variety of benefits as well. Raw: is cooling, refreshing and supplies live enzymes. Steaming: keeps greens more fibrous and tight, curbs appetite/ keeps you fuller longer. Boiling: plumps and relaxes greens. Be careful not to over boil as nutrients will get lost in the water. Sautéing: helps maintain as many nutrients as possible. Some of the greens you might like to try: Broccoli, Kale, Bok Choy, Cabbage, Collards, Spinach, Silverbeat, Watercress, Lettuces, even Beet greens. Happy Cooking!
Hayley
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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 8 2015
What is The Measure of Success? Helen Jomoa⏐FITNESS It is vital to have some sort of tracking
Electric scales with BIA - The most
if you have a fitness goal you want to
accurate method I use with my clients is
achieve. Traditionally we use the
an electric scale that uses bio
bathroom scales, but they only
impediment analysis. This works by
measure actual weight loss, and ignore
passing a small electrical current
arguably more important factors like
through your body. The current passes
how your fat-to-muscle ratios are
slower through the fat than muscle, so
changing.
the measurement can be derived.
Here are some of the different ways I
BMI
measure my client’s progress to get a
Body Mass Index, is a measurement of
more complete picture.
weight against height. I tend to use this as a general gauge to help people
Body Fat Percentage
understand whether they fall into the
Body fat can be measured as a
healthy weight range or not. This is
percentage of your total body weight. It
especially useful for those in denial! It
can be done in two ways.
does have limitations though. It
Calipers - Calipers look like an adjustable spanner. This is the traditional way to measure body fat, but it heavily relies on the accuracy of the person who is doing the measuring. The fat (skin folds) is measured at several different parts of
measures total weight (not broken down by muscle or fat percentages), so athletes who are naturally muscular people, or slim people carrying weight around their middle, will not get accurate scores. A score of 25 and above is considered overweight.
the body and these millimeters are
then converted to a percentage.
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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 8 2015
Waist Measurement
time. It is also a good way of planning
A waist measurement of above 94cm in
towards a goal such as marathon
men and 80cm in women is an indicator of
training. I record all of my clients
a dangerous layer of visceral fat (hard fat
training sessions, so we can review
around your vital organs). Belly fat is a
their progress.
key factor in developing chronic conditions such as type 2 diabetes, high blood
Activity Trackers
pressure, heart disease and stroke. You
Activity trackers such as Fitbit, are also
could have a normal BMI but still be at risk
motivating, as they track your total daily
from diseases from belly fat. I use this
activity (not just at the gym), as well as
measurement to flag health risks.
sleep, food etc. In my opinion, people are very keen on them at the start, but
Body Measurements
this is not necessarily sustained. If you
Using a tape measure to measure certain
like the numbers though, you may like
parts of your body, such as your waist,
this as it syncs with your phone,
upper arms, hips and thighs is a good way
giving you progress charts etc.
to see how you are loosing weight. You need to pay attention to how accurate you
I personally use a
are and that you are measuring in the
mixture of all of these
same place each time. Your waist is the
ways to measure my
largest measurement and you will see
client’s progress,
changes here more quickly than other
because they all tell me
areas. This is how to correctly measure
something different,
your waist. Find the bottom of your ribs
and give me a fuller
and the top of your hip bone. Breath out
picture about what is
normally. Place the tape measure half
going on. The main
way between these two points and
thing is to see a
measure round your waist.
general trend, rather than becoming
Good Old Jeans
obsessive about the
Many of my clients just notice how their
numbers.
body is changing because they can now fit
isn’t
into that old pair of jeans they have been
everything,
hanging onto.
it is important
Recording Your Training
Weight
to see yourself emerging as a fitter, leaner,
Recording your training sessions is a
stronger person, and if
good way to see how your strength
you are having fun
(number of reps/weights) and cardio
exercising, you are
(time/distance) is improving. This is a
likely to continue to
great way to see how your body is
see results however
improving even over a short period of
you choose to measure them.
Helen
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3 Ways to get your SHIZZLE in order this SPRING
Do You Have A Lot Going On in Life?
Maree Eddings ⏐ Energy You juggle and you move things
Every change brings new thoughts
around and you get stuff done!
and ideas, we prepare for the new, the different. What you were
I bet you feel full of energy and
focused on last season is not going
love batting up every day to a day
to 100% fit for what you are inspired
of chaos just waiting for you to sort
to focus on for this new season
out.
ahead.
The highs that chaos sorting
It's Spring where I am and this is
provides you can quickly be
the season to be de-cluttering.
replaced with the lows of aching
You want to open the windows and
the feeling and it feels so sweet,
muscles, sore head, rushed food
let the flowers in, let in the light...
you taste it, you feel so
that starts to show over your pants,
feel the possibility.
satisfied... and you are, unless
sleep that has not been peaceful
you actually want to smell those
for a while now... any of this
You want to get amongst it,
flowers, have the house de-
sounding familiar to you?
you want to eat new things. Spring
cluttered or look different.
things, you want to feel different I am all too familiar with the
maybe even look different.
seduction of getting lots done in a
ENTER THE POWER OF THE PROCESS
big rush of adrenaline and self
This new season starts to build a
fulfilling prophecies of 'adding
list of things you want to DO.
Yes - you need an outcome in mind, a place where you want to
value' and helping out. The list starts to build this feeling of
go. Yes - you do want to know
While this approach can be
anticipation and you get excited and
what that will feel like and really
'rewarding' in the moment, it is not
before you know it you have
understand why you want that
sustainable - but you know that!
convinced yourself that you have
outcome (the cleaner your
achieved some of the stuff on the
energy the better). HOWEVER,
list. It's true.
unless you have a clearly
The antidote my friend - you need a process that you value and you love love love.
understood process of how you You see the brain, your brain, cannot tell the difference. You feed
Today is a change of season and it
it right and it will believe that you
is the PERFECT time to get
have completed the list. You have
yourself a new process.
are going to get there you will meander for a while my friend and yep, the big old compromise
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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 8 2015 can clearly see what I have had to drink and it is getting me closer to the 3 litres
a day... nearly there. Step TWO: MOVE EVERY DAY I mean wake up, get out of bed and MOVE. It is lighter outside and those gorgeous new birds are chirping away. It is the best time of the day to detox the body, feel fresh and start the day with a clear head. I dare you to say hello to the birds and see what happens Step THREE: CLEAN OUT A CUPBOARD The change of seasons is about making room for the new. So make some room! Start with one cupboard a week. This is about settling into a will slot right into your reality. So; where to start? It is only early Spring so it's all good, no-one has missed out on
Firstly, all three are
process, so resist the temptation to clear
required. This is part of the
the whole house in one sitting (hoarders
matrix test, stick to these three so
can ignore that comment and clear
you get into the swing of things,
away). Start with the bathroom
they are designed to improve your
cupboard, it is always one that has some
situation...
new additions that can be thrown away.
anything, you are not behind the
Work your way up to the wardrobe...
eight ball and you don't need to
Step ONE: UP YOUR WATER
convince yourself that you now
INTAKE
Get in there and commit to your process
need to wait until Summer... I
and you will exceed any outcome you
know the things we tell ourselves! So let's get rid of the 'I don't like
could dream up. YOU will literally blow
water blah blah' . The fact is, your
your own mind how powerful your
To help you get your shizzle in
body is up to 75% water. It needs
process will be.
order and really tap into what you
water to function at its optimum
want to feel in this change of
levels. Do what you need to do to
Best of all, the more you commit the
season, I have three things that
work it out and drink it already!
quicker that clarity, confidence and connection will arrive.
will kick-start your process. Yep, put these in your process and you One thing I am doing to play a WILL feel that shift. The longer
game with myself and keep it
Stay S.E.X.I
you commit and LOVE it knowing
interesting is I have purchased a
that it is leading you somewhere,
500ml water bottle with the
the sooner clarity will be had!
measurements on the outside. I
Maree NINE
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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE8 2015
Do Anything BUT Tell The Truth
Helen Treloar - BUSINESS The business buzz word for 2014
flawed and have insecurities and
Saying Business is Slow -
was 'authentic'.
imperfections abound. Thing is, if
Always be busy, say you're busy
we lead with this 'authentic' version
and tell prospects that you will
You saw it and heard it
of self, we would do very little to
need to try to 'fit them in' to create
EVERYWHERE in the business
give others cause to have faith in
the illusion of success. Goodness
community. Let's do business 'on our
us. They would find it difficult to
me, one cannot be a success and
own terms' in an 'authentic' way -
invest in us and make a decision to
NOT be busy after all.
heck, even I used it more than a few
buy us and our products or
times and probably still will in the
services.
future.
Over-riding the T's and C's - A successful business will surely rely
We have been conditioned to lie.
on it's T's & C's and Printed
When we look at the science of
Not nasty, dark, hurtful lies but
Policies. They cannot bend the
success in a sales relationship, the
little white lies - we need to
rules and seek to give excellent
customer would surely say that they
promote the amplified version of
service to quality people within
are drawn to and want to deal with
our abilities, skills and
their network, cause this might look
those who are honest and truly
experiences and pop the rest into
weak and be perceived as too
authentic. However, what the
the shadows. Here are just a few of
flexible. Breaking the rules
customer (we) are really saying is...
the 'unsaid' rules and mis-truths to
brings the establishment down. I'll
being perceived as successful and
keep pointing to the small print and
so pushing the 'authentic' envelope
defend my position no matter what.
Give me every reason, piece of evidence and ability to... • •
Like You Believe You and Believe IN You Trust You Promote You Benefit from You Contribute to You Gain something positive from this Connection with You
out to sea... Being Too Flexible - Hey, once One should avoid:
you're booked in, you're booked in, and if you cancel I'll keep your
Discounting - It can look
money or charge you a
desperate, give the impression you
cancellation fee. Same goes for
are not successful, attract people
that product you purchased, it's
who wont pay for your real value
now outside 30 days and the
and set up an expectation that will
warranty clearly states that's your
disable you from returning to list
limit for recourse. I can't be held
We human's are vulnerable and
prices again. Successful
responsible for your change of
layered individuals. We are perfectly
businesses don't need to discount.
• • • • •
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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 8 2015
y ll a su u is ' ow kn 't on d 'I g in “The fear of say ” y it n u t r po op n a of ss lo e h t o t linked
mind or reasonable and real
& more, and this is the authentic
reason for needing to cancel or
YOU in business.
return your product.
perfectly imperfect version of self. It comes with its critics. It also comes with a ticket to
If, as with many business owners I
Saying 'I Don't Know' - Fake it
have worked with over the years,
until you make it; say yes then
this is NOT you and you struggle
work out how; commit then
with the 'rules' that you no longer
respond... All of these quips are
agree with, and you believe that
useful and, where confidence is
doing business your own way will
low but ability high, can work
cut a path of success for you, it’s
really well when applied.
worth noting that your possy of
However, when confidence and
prospective customers will be
ability is low - say I don't know!
uniquely yours. You will NOT
The fear of saying 'I don't know' is
appeal to those who want the rules
usually linked to the loss of an
and want you to use the well
opportunity. The short
rehearsed smoke & mirrors of
sightedness of this
business, so they can recognise
strategy should be explored.
what it is that you are offering.
It might well be that in business
Being truly authentic takes
you decide to be all of the above
courage. You are presenting the
feeling like you are the Master of your Universe and driver of your own bus. You get to decide how you do business, who with, why and when and for how much. I made these decisions for myself and my own business in October 2014, it's working a treat for me. Doing business mindfully.
Helen
THIRTEEN ELEVEN
n e i r e p Ex
G N I T E K R A M I T N A ⏐ Kirsten Basford
ce
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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 8 2015
Do you have a favourite café? How about a ‘go to’ brand that you just buy regardless of the price. Or is there a store that just drags you in, even if you have no intention or need to purchase! You always walk out with a purchase (or two) and you proudly tell others about your purchase and buying experience. Or is there a band or an entertainer, that regardless of the ticket price, you are first in line to get tickets and you will move heaven and earth to make sure you are there, and you Instagram the hell out of your time before, during and after the concert (you know what I’m taking about!). These brands, in your eyes, can do no wrong. You talk about them, you are loyal to them and you have a deep connection with them. Every time you engage with that brand you have an experience. An experience, which in some way moves you. When a brand, and by brand I mean a physical product or a person, creates an experience that has a profound effect upon how you feel emotionally, then it can’t help but make an impact. And impact creates influence. Think about a time when you have been introduced to someone who impressed you at a party or social occasion. They had an air of confidence, they looked you in the eye when they spoke, their handshake or greeting was confidant yet approachable and they listened to you with interest and engaged with you. You had an enjoyable experience with them and they created an impact. That impact, in turn, leads to influence. In a social setting this may not be intentional, it’s a by-product of creating a unique and engaging experience for someone.
So as a brand, creating experiences is the essence of influence and it then leads to the most compelling element of all consumer behaviour, trust. Our purchase decisions are built on the foundation of, Know, Like (I think love) and Trust and to get to that point of impact and influence you need to create an experience. An experience that resonates with your ideal customer. The dictionary defines experience as an event or occurrence that leaves an impression on someone. It is therefore true that creating an experience or experiences is the foundation of all marketing, whether you are a retail store, a service provider an entertainer or a personal brand. If you are online or offline, how are you creating experiences for your customers and for those around you? With the words of a man that has made his living and purpose around creating an experience and with many of my friends enjoying that experience last night, we can all take a leaf out of Robbie Williams book and say LET ME ENTERTAIN YOU! With the end of the year fast approaching, it’s a perfect time to ramp up the experiences you provide to create more impact and influence to propel you and your brand to the next level.
Kirsten
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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 8 2015
The Perfect Summer BRUNCH Treat FrIttatInIs Hayley martin - true form health
Photograph: Hayley Martin | True Form Health
• • •
INGREDIENTS
• • • • •
6 eggs 1 brown onion, chopped 1 zucchini, grated and squeeze out extra moisture 1/4 cup parmesan cheese 2 garlic cloves, minced 1 teaspoon coconut oil 1/4 cup basil 1 nori sheet
•
Cook onion with coconut oil on a medium heat until translucent and then add garlic until fragrant. Whisk eggs and stir through onion and garlic as well as basil, nori, parmesan and zucchini. Spoon mixture evenly into tray and bake for 12-20 minutes (depending on your oven) until the egg has cooked through. Season with salt, pepper and chilli flakes for a delicious breakfast, brunch or savoury snack!
WHAT TO DO: For more delicious recipes go to Preheat oven 180° and line 8-10 holes of a muffin tray with baking paper or baking cups.
www.trueformhealth.com.au
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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 8 2015
APM’s Book Review by lena Turvey
Author: David Heinemeier-Hansson I read this book and got so much
Is there a predetermined size of the
inspiration from it and so many action
business or can you set out to only
tips to take on in my own business
grow so big and be happy with that?
journey, that it was more like an
The authors think so, and they also like
experience, than reading a business
to keep things simple.
book.
“The real hero is already home because she figured out a faster way to get things done.” I also loved this quote; “When you want something bad enough, you
“Small is not just a stepping-stone. “This is a different kind of business
Small is a great destination in itself.”
make the time.” So true and so often overlooked.
book for different kinds of people.” This is a great book to read when you The authors want the reader to look
are in the growth phase of your
at doing business in a new way. The
business or when you are stuck and are
old rules for launching a business or
not sure what to do next. It even has
conducting business have changed.
gems in there for people who are still working for someone else.
One of the key takeaways I took from this book was about growth.
I absolutely loved the section on being
Why grow? That one question
more effective, more productive and
brought up many issues and ideas
basically just getting things done.
for me. Does every business need to
Wasting time doing nothing when you
grow huge?
have finished your work for the day ,because it’s not yet home time, is
“What’s wrong with finding the right
incredibly wasteful. Can you imagine
size and staying there?”
the difference in productivity if we were allowed to spend our work time the way we wanted to?
There are so many inspirational quotes and ground breaking ideas about the way we work in this book that I found myself taking extensive notes on things I can do to improve. As a productivity expert, I thought I wouldn’t find anything new in this book, but I was very wrong! “If you’re inspired on a Friday, swear off the weekend and dive into the project. When you’re high on inspiration, you can get two weeks of work done in twenty-four hours. Inspiration is a time machine in that way.” Overall a quick read (easily read in 4 hours) that offered lots of valuable information and a different approach to work and business. I loved the simplicity of the book and highly recommend it.
Lena xx
FIFTEEN
You Must Understand Me Before Getting My Money PENNY VOTZOURAKIS - CUSTOMER SERVICE
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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 8 2015
No two people are alike, and that’s because we are shaped by different behavioral patterns.
accomplished through sharing stories in a sales or
These patterns determine how we live and act,
marketing presentation, which stimulates the brain
and what we can achieve.
and allows clients to become better educated about what they are interested in purchasing or
When we meet certain needs that are shared by
using.
all human beings, namely certainty, uncertainty, connection, growth, significance, and
Next on our list is significance. We already know
contribution, then happiness and success can
that people want to feel special. When clients are
be attained, depending on which of these core
interacting with you, they need to see that you
needs are most important. Understanding these
care enough to help them address their concerns.
needs and how they affect our lives will help us
They do not want to be ignored, especially by staff
relate better to our customers and clients.
members who are more concerned about the latest gossip or text than the customer. Listening,
The first need we will discuss is certainty. A
therefore, is a key quality of customer service.
client wants to know that the
Make your client feel significant by giving little
plan he/she has will run as planned, and that
gifts, or following up on a purchase, or inviting
there will be a solution to his or
them to a special VIP night.
her situation. These people are not risk-takers, neither do they like new things. They like
The last need to consider is contribution. Clients
dealing with the same people, otherwise they
want to be able to contribute their views, opinions,
will look elsewhere in seeking products or
and thoughts about your product or service.
services.
Forums, focus groups, and questionnaires can be valuable tools to assess this information.
The next need is uncertainty. People who like
However, the client needs to see that he or she is
uncertainty want a fun experience. They tend to
being heard, and that you will act upon
be risk takers; however, they will shop
the data you received.
elsewhere if necessary since they are not committed to you or your business.
The most successful businesses are those who understand their clients before making key
Connection is next in our needs list. Believe it or
business decisions. Knowing your clients’ core
not, very few customers shop online. This is
needs, and knowing which ones are most
probably because we share that need to
important to them, will help you and your staff
connect with others. If a client receives great
achieve your business goals.
customer services and is made to feel important and special, then he or she will continue to work with you. Growth is an important need for clients because
Remember; People Buy People.
Penny V
they want to learn and grow in their experience with a product or service. This is often
SEVENTEEN
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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 8 2015
Techniques To Reach Your Goals
I was thinking about my goal list the other day and I started to wonder what I should do about it. I mean, is there something else I should be doing to achieve the goals other than just looking at the written list every and then and ticking off the ones I achieve? now I then thought about business, big business, small business and even micro businesses. They all have goals, they all have plans to some degree. What do they do to work on achieving their goals? In the past, I have broken down my goals into all the little sub tasks that need to be done in order to achieve overall big goal. To do that, I either worked the backwards from the goal to arrive at the first action
Lena Turvey - Productivity
Other times, nothing happens. I sit there knowing I need to do something to start on the road to achieving my goals but nothing happens. This type of goal requires more detailed planning and a little devious touch. This is what I do. I schedule it into my calendar in the next week. I almost never use this week as it feels too soon and sometimes I need some space between me and the goal, even though I do want to achieve it, I just need the imaginary huge time frame to get used to the idea of completing or even just starting a new project or task.
(task) I had to do in order to get started on the goal, or I
I don’t know why I need to trick myself into
worked forward by starting with the very next action
doing this, but it works for me. Do you have any
(task) I had to take in order to get started and work on
tips or tricks you use on yourself or others to
from there.
get your tasks done and achieve your goals? What are they?
I vary these methods depending on if I know what the first task will be or not. Often the overall goal is not that hard to achieve, it just may be hard to get it started by knowing what the steps you need to take will be.
Lena
I know that once those steps are outlined, something weird happens, they actually start getting done and before I know it, I have broken through the procrastination and I have completed the goal. Go me!
TWENTY
‘SHE WHO DARES WINS’
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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 8 2015
WHEN TO QUIETEN YOUR INNER ADULT AND RELEASE YOUR INNER CHILD
Beckie White⏐ Stylist
I recently had the opportunity to go to Sydney to
Six weeks before the closed-door event, I
listen, meet, connect and be inspired by a woman
received an invitation to attend. However some
who was part of my Goals for the first quarter of
part of me came up with every excuse under
2015.
the sun as to why meeting my idol was not possible.
I have followed, supported and encouraged the Lisa Messenger journey over the past 4 years
- It's in Sydney
since having first heard her speak. It's funny how
- This will cost me extra money
in today's society we can feel an instant
- I have other appointments
connection (or not) with someone. Thanks to
- Blah blah blah Bullshit Bullshit!!!
social media I feel like I really know Lisa. I see photos of her personal life, her engagement, her
I was so disappointed at my decision that even
dog, her holidays and her business
upon being asked again if I was coming, made
achievements. However, in reality I know this is
up excuses – “TOO BUSY” – in hindsight I ask,
not true. I only get the snippets of Lisa she wants
“TOO BUSY” doing what?
us to see.
The night before the event I received a last minute text from the organiser saying that I
4 3
A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 8 2015
would be missed tomorrow, but she
I realise that my ‘Inner Adult’ had been like the
understood how busy I was.
Sergeant Major “Fun Police” and was trying to squash and control my ‘Inner Child’s’ spirit and desires with all
My son happened to see this text and
these lame excuses.
asked, “What and where are you going to be missed tomorrow?” I then proceeded to
It was at that time my ‘inner child’ suddenly grew
explain to him and my husband how badly I
larger inside of me and had a voice that over-
had wanted to go and of course my
shadowed my ‘inner adult’. Suddenly I shouted "well
excuses spewed out of my mouth along
let's look for some flights!".
side my answer. My ‘inner adult’ said “well they will all be too My husband replied “What a load of
expensive and not available at the times you want.”
Bullshit! If you want to go that bad JUST
As you can imagine, my ‘inner child’ was right; great
DO IT! What’s more important; that you
prices, perfect times and voila, before I new it, I was
attend the meetings or be in the space of
booked!
someone you will learn and grow from?” I can't begin to describe the joy my ‘inner child’ was At that moment I'm not sure what happened
feeling. I began dancing like no-one could see me, I
(some kind of magic!) It was like I had been
was singing the happy song and throwing the high-
given permission to do what I wanted to do.
five mid air.
TWENTYTHREE
6 5
A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 8 2015 My ‘inner adult’ took a moments back seat and said
- Go with the inner voice that fuels my belly/soul.
"well now you have to reschedule all tomorrows appointments" and guess what; ‘inner child’ did just
- Start to make decisions around what’s going to
that and all happily locked in for another time – easy
enrich my life rather than make me feel empty.
peasy :) - Put that inner adult back in their place now and Have you ever experienced this?
then and let the inner child dance the happy dance more often.
Maybe I'm the only crazy one who has two voices in my head saying yes do it – no don’t. I like to call it
- Do what makes me sing rather than what I think
the 'chattering monkeys' and now I have taken that
I should do to make others sing.
to a new level as one monkey is an adult and the other is a playful kid.
- Live the life I want and desire.
Or maybe it happens to you too. If this is the case
Easier said than done you may be saying? Well I say
keep reading, if not then maybe this is the place for
that’s your inner adult talking!! Tell them to be quiet
you to stop.
for a while because your inner child is filled with wonder, curiosity and play. When we step out of our
For those of you who are still reading, I guess you
comfort zone and climb the trees or smell the roses,
get where I'm coming from.
new beginnings are possible and opportunities will surround you.
How do you know when this adult monkey is ruling your thoughts and stopping you from moving
When it comes to styling, your inner adult and inner
forward and doing what you really want to do?
child conversations also happen, around and within your wardrobes. Inner adult is all about wearing what
Here's just a few ways to recognise when
is appropriate, what you look good in and how you
your inner adult and inner child are in conflict:
“should” dress for every occasion. Inner child is all
- You want to do something or be somewhere, but you make excuses that don’t serve or enrich you. It's what you think you should be doing or it's the right thing to do. This leaves you feeling empty, cross with yourself and frustrated. -You want to be somewhere but the excuse of money gets in the way. Inner adult is screaming you can’t afford it. Inner child is saying don’t worry we will work it out; all will be good, look at the benefits.
about trying something different, having a play, not caring what others think or how they will judge you and being comfortable in your own skin. Inner child wants you to always shine as BRIGHT as you can and by doing this you allow others to shine with you. I ask you the question; who is in your driver’s seat when is comes to your life and style decisions? Stylishly Yours
Beckie
- You feel disappointed and often blame others for your poor choices. So to help you do what helped me in this moment of Monkey madness, inner adult verses inner child, I
have consciously decided to:
TWENTYFOUR
'The Kid in you holds the key to living a full and rich life. Let her out to play!’ CHERYL RICHARDSON
1 2 3
J ul ie B
o ur ke⏐
Traffic Generation Article Marketing
Tec h
nol o
gy
Part TWO of a three Part Series What is Article Marketing?
This is important, because the people
actually accomplishing several things at
who are reading your articles are
once. You’re first and foremost, driving
Article marketing is a simple and
prospects. You want to provide them with traffic to your website. This is because
quite effective traffic generation
information relevant to your website topic
not only will your article be available on
strategy. The idea is to write articles
because they’re going to visit your
the article directory for search engines
and publish them on online article
website after they read your article. If
to find and people to read, other website
directories like ezines.com. The
your website is on a different topic then
owners with similar topics can and will
articles you publish will be on topics
you have traffic coming to your site but it
publish your article on their website.
relevant to your niche business.
is traffic that is going to likely click away
For example, if you have an internet
almost immediately. That doesn’t do you
When this happens you’re now reaching
any good.
a new group of people who will read
business focused on natural treatments for diabetes, then the
your article and click through to your
How Article Marketing Works
articles you publish will all have
website. Now, I’ve mentioned clicking through to your website a few times and
something to do with natural
When you write and publish an article on
treatments for diabetes.
an article marketing directory, you’re
you may be wondering how this
4 6 5
A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 8 2015 happens. Each article you publish will
have at a minimum, an author’s bio box at the bottom.
• Give your article an attention grabbing headline • Use headings and subheadings to make your article easy to read.
This is where you include a little bit about yourself, a call to action and a link to your website. Some article directories also allow you to include embedded links within the body of your article.
(Headings and subheadings are also the ideal place to position your keywords) • Focus on offering quality information. If you have trouble finding topics to write about, spend some time
So article marketing enables you to build traffic in two very important ways. It creates links to your website, which in turn improves your SEO ranking and thus you receive more traffic from basic search engine searches. It also improves your traffic because
focusing on your prospect’s problems. What would they
means the only real expense is the cost of creating the articles themselves. If you write the content yourself, then this is a completely free tactic that typically generates great results. If you choose to hire a writer to create the content for you, then you have the cost of the writer to consider. However, the return on investment can be quite wonderful.
want/need to know to solve those
Taking Article Marketing To The
problems?
Next Level
• Make sure to include a link to your website
An easy way to take your article
• Make sure to include a call to action
marketing efforts to the next level is to
• Focus on article directories that meet
publish your articles in newsletters,
more people are coming across your
your needs. There are many large
print publications and on other
content and clicking through to your
scale article directories and these are
websites. This requires an additional
website – you’re reaching more
great to use. However, you may want
step of finding relevant
people.
to also look for article directories that
people/businesses interested in
cater to your industry
publishing your content. However; it
Article marketing also helps boost your
• Always choose the appropriate
can really give your efforts a boost and
credibility as an expert in your niche
category(s) when publishing your
generate the credibility and traffic
topic. When you provide valuable
article
you’re looking for.
information to people looking for a solution or answers, you become a trusted resource. Article marketing helps you achieve that goal.
How To Get The Job Done
What Does Article Marketing Cost? For the most part, article marketing sites
Julie
are free to publish your content on. This
The key to making the most of this traffic generation tactic is to write great articles. This means they’re easy to read, offer a benefit, and entice the reader to visit your site for more information. There are a few key strategies to accomplishing this tactic well:
TWENTYSEVEN
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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 8 2015
~Dymphna Cusack~ All Reality Is Made Up
Joanne Clark - NLP Over the holidays we had a friend
only be a representation of reality - it
of our son’s visit from Germany.
can never be reality itself.
Dymphna Cusack In the early part of the
Having her stay with us and Why does this matter? Well, in life it
20th century Dymphna Cusack
can seem as if there is a common
challenged the dominant
shared reality made up of a whole lot
perceptions (maps) of Australian
of social rules and boundaries that
society. Putting pen to paper in
exist outside of each of us. A reality to
her first-published
which we must conform and against
novel Jungfrau (1936),
Despite the fact that we almost
which we measure and are measured
Dymphna stripped back the
always live as though there is ‘a’
to be good enough or not, and
veneer of women’s lives and
single reality that exists and that
successful or not. Based on this
forced previously hidden truths
we all share, NLP shows us that
assessment, we judge and are judged.
out into the street. Introducing
each person’s experience of
And in a culture, the construction of
her three female characters, she
reality is different. In NLP we
the illusion of an actual shared reality
pioneered discussion on the
refer to this idea as ‘The Map is
is greatly controlled and impacted by
taboo topics of abortion,
not the Territory’. It means that
the press, the popular media and
sexuality, female aspirations and
whilst there is a reality ‘out there’
those who influence it. This means
the role of women in Australian
(i.e. the territory), we human’s
that the culture of that society,
society:
can never really get access to it.
the beliefs, explanations, perceptions
All we can do is filter (relatively
and values, represent
‘Women are cursed alright. If you
few) aspects of it through our five
the worldviews (i.e., the maps) of a
wither on the virgin stem you go
senses and then delete, distort
few, and these then become the ones
all pathological; if you go off the
and generalize to fit our already-
that are imposed and accepted as if
deep end you get some foul
existing view of the world
they belong to us all.
disease; and if you marry and
comparing the different ways our cultures see the world, reminded us that our 'taken for granted' reality isn’t actually real – it is just made up!
have dozens of young you die of
(our map). Just like any map can only be a representation of the world, so our individual maps can
Yet there are moments when this
exhaustion.’
facade of a shared reality is challenged.
TWENTYEIGHT
6 7 4 8 5
A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 8 2015 Dymphna ripped back the shiny veneer that limited the lives, the perceptions and the experiences of individuals that
masked the multitude of possible
realities of the time
equally unattractive to them. The Education Department decided to mitigate their perceived risks and banished Dymphna to Bathurst High
she lived in. Her acute powers of observation and talent as a writer enabled her to capture the witty, poignant and irreverent Australian culture and characters. She was able to portray them in ways that contrasted starkly with the shiny facade hiding the unique and
burgewords.files.wordpress.com
diverse nature of alternate, individual
School. Appointments at similarly
maps of reality and giving them a
remote locations of Parkes and
powerful voice.
Newcastle followed.
And it is in these moments of clarity
Dymphna continued to write many
that new possibilities are created.
highly successful plays and novels,
Consequently, women felt freer to
describing with acerbic humour the
openly question their lot and perhaps
‘drama’ of middle class Australia.
create their own choices.
With her long-time friend and fellow
Despite Dymphna’s writing success, she could not afford to survive on the income of her writing alone, so she also worked as a teacher, employed by the NSW Department of Education. Although she received high acclaim as a writer, in her role as a teacher the Department held a distinctly unenthusiastic view of what they perceived as dangerous and radical concepts, which could contaminate the susceptible minds of
writer Florence James, she wrote her next great success – Come in Spinner. This mocking expose of the inequalities of wartime Sydney was awarded a thousand pound prize by the Daily Telegraph. However it caused a stir, with threats of defamation action due to their accurate portrayals of ‘fictitious’ characters in compromising situations resulting in the Daily Telegraph becoming nervous about publishing it.
a fresh generation! However the risk
Knowing they had to take action to
of adverse publicity if she was
realise the publication of their book,
dismissed from teaching, was
Florence and Dymphna arranged for
TWENTYNINE
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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 8 2015 the book to be published in
London. It became an immediate bestseller. The hypocrisy Come in Spinner unveiled left many a Sydney socialite red-faced because of the high-life they led as other Australian's suffered the depravation of our country’s part in WWII.
The challenge given to us in Dymphna Cusack’s writing is to see
beyond our own maps of reality and explore how creating alternate possibilities for ourselves can liberate us to connect with what it is we do want. And knowing what we do want means we can begin to ask; what would this life and these
Her talent for giving voice to those who had little opportunity to be heard was again proven when Dymphna wrote Black Lightning, which brought to the attention of many Australian's, the plight of being aboriginal in a country that even had laws to deny aboriginal people Australian citizenship. Imagine being a white woman advocating for Aboriginal
experiences be like if I changed some of my map of reality? In NLP we learn and apply powerful tools to understand your own map, and, where appropriate learn or model from the maps of others, and from this, construct a life you truly want. When you have the tools then you are empowered to build your own reality - your way. Make today your day.
rights in 1964! Dymphna Cusack, using the power of her pen, again broke the mold. One of Australia’s most translated
Joanne
australianplays.org
and internationally popular writers, www.flickr.com
Dymphna Cusack lived to bring to the public consciousness the maps of those who did not have a voice; women, the poor, the unemployed and indigenous Australians'. Through her words, she showed a world from their viewpoint. Her powerful stories of real characters in real situations altered people’s perceptions of acceptable and unacceptable, good and bad, right and wrong. They helped transform a nation’s conscience because she asked, "what if things are not as they seem?". "What if the experience and life of those who don’t fit the mold is reality?" "What if the map we have of reality is not the territory and there
TWENTYSEVEN
are other possibilities?" "What would be
different, what would we change?"
THIRTY
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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE8 2015
10
1.
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4.
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2.
3.
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2. Oversized Hand Bag 9. Sunglasses 6. Sunscreen Fit all your summer essentials Protect your eyes with an oversized A Sunscreen should definitely be into a large statement bag, you’ll pair of sunglasses. on your musts list, whether you’re never forget a thing. Sunglass Hut, Vogue, Timeless, at the beach or exercising. Miss Velvet, CADELLE - Sarita $199 Neutrogena, Beach Defence – Camel, $239.95 Water + Sun, $12.69 10. Bold Lip Colour 3. Large Floppy Hat A bright and fun lip colour is the 7. Statement Jewellery Shade yourself from the harsh final touch to any outfit. A striking piece of jewellery can summer sun with a wide brim Clinique, Chubby Stick Baby Tint, make any outfit, whether you’re hat, the added style is a bonus. $35.00 ready for a day in the sun or a Seafolly, Babylon Hat, $49.95 night-time social. Colette, Mixed Shaped Stretch Wrist wear, Turquoise, $14.99
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1 2
\
APM FOUNDER ~ HELEN TRELOAR
Soul Food IF YOU GO YOUR OWN WAY “I’m not going!”
So who decides which side prevails and what action
The words from the teenager who no longer wants to
will be taken or dismissed?
go on holiday with the family – as the beach holiday is
In a social environment of control, the person feared
“not what I like”.
most will win. By NOT pleasing this person, the
In a family, hopefully where everyone feels safe, (and
predictable consequences are too much to bear, so
yet we know this isn’t so for too many,) we express
the other party backs down.
ourselves freely, we put our needs into the
The fear doesn’t need to be of violence for a ‘back
conversation. Depending upon our needs and the
down’ to occur, it can be far more subtle than that…
sense of empowerment or even entitlement in the
disconnect, moody behaviour… sulking and avoiding
situation, can be the force or conviction of the
communication, tears and tantrums. The emotional
expression.
vortex can be very uncomfortable to be around. I
In a workplace, self expression of needs is less
have found this type of decision making process to be
common, as there is usually real and present fear of
alive and well in many families – there is usually a
repercussions from a statement that people know is
member of the family who takes everyone else
not what the group wants to hear. They fear being
emotionally hostage to their needs being met.
overlooked for promotion or a pay rise or at worst,
In a workplace, the higher position or title usually gets
being sacked.
the last word, although not always. Weaker leaders
What is clear is that in situations where there is a
will bow to the strength of conviction and passion of a
need/goal, there is usually at least two positions; one
subordinate, where they believe to not ‘back them’
for and one against.
will cause ramifications they feel ill equipped to deal with – they will avoid responsibility in order to please
the stronger character.
THIRTYTWO
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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 8 2015
The behaviour present in the situations above is
We are each ‘going our own way’. We have chosen
CONTROL. I hear people talk about it often, as if
the role we will play. We may be controlling or we may
they themselves have none.
be passive or we may be an enabler… Whatever the behaviour, it is our choice. There are always other
We all have influence. How we choose to engage
options.
with it is the question. So today’s Soul Food question for you to ponder… is Control is power. I will have my way, regardless
‘going your own way’ working well for you?
of what others want or need. I am sure my way is best.
If it’s not – what other ways might you consider?
Control becomes safety. I feel best about myself
For a person of control to get their way, there needs to
when things are going my way.
be at least one other person who is willing to relinquish their needs. Is that you?
Control is emotional weakness. I know people don’t like me or what I do in these situations, but I
A Peaceful Mind comes from purposeful living, or as
know no other way.
the in-word of the moment states, living ‘mindfully‘.
Do you have a family member who takes others
You are a vessel of pure potential; the only person
emotionally hostage? Do you work with or for
who can realise that potential is YOU x
someone who prefers to avoid discussion and input and instead goes to decision making from
Helen
their own needs base? Do you have opinions, needs and feelings that you withhold and suppress, so as not to upset the stronger personality in the family / group / business?
THIRTYTHREE
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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 8 2015
The Challenges of Starting and Running a Business
Do You Fear Being Exposed? Pippa Hanson ⏐ A Personal Journey
there's no way I'm going forward, I'm not interested!” At the time, I had a good job that was secure and paid reasonably well and I really enjoyed it. Having been confronted with and living through those challenges, I can now reflect and say the ones I thought were challenges were
Starting and running a business
get around rather than to stop
has many challenges.
me in my tracks.
As I started my business over
Looking back over the last 11
11 years ago, I quickly learnt
years, if I had been asked day
that challenges will constantly
one if I would go into
pop up, sometimes
business, knowing some of
unexpectedly, and I learnt to
the challenges I have faced
The challenge that I never
refer to them
were to occur, would it have
thought would have been a
as obstacles rather than brick
stopped me going forward?...
challenge was opening myself up
walls. They were things to
easily I would have said “Yes -
to the ‘public’. I came from
merely a process to go through, an obstacle to get around. · . · ·
Financial knock backs Cash flow management Legal cases VCAT
THIRTYFOUR
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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 8 2015
working in a secure government
introduce myself but then what? I
With this combination I took
organisation where it wasn’t hard to
didn’t want to be asked about me?
baby steps and started meeting
relationships as build rapport and
That was my private life, I didn’t
one person at a time and
we were all on the same team, and
share my private life with
building real relationships and
a lot of what was occurring in the
strangers.
networks. I let myself be vulnerable to talk about me, my
‘real world’ had no impact on my It was easy to look the part, dress
daily life.
likes, my interests and family.
up and turn up. In the early days As a business owner, I quickly
what was going on the inside, did
I still look at challenges as
realized that I needed to make new
not match the cool, calm and
obstacles rather than brick walls
connections and relationships in
confident looking exterior.
and today networking is like going to a fair.
our local area with other business owners. I started, by attending
I was passionate about my new
networking nights, chamber nights
venture, I also had a lot at stake
I look forward to hearing about
and other local events. Wow!
financially if it wasn’t successful. I
your choices.
Overwhelmed is an
have never been known to give
understatement.
up; there is always a solution.
Pippa
This may sound familiar to you, however I also need to mention that I have always been a very confident person, happy to share my opinions and views and put my hand up and volunteer to be the captain or the spokesperson. In this new environment I felt like a fish out of water. What did I have to talk about? What experience did I have? Self-doubt crept in, how could it not? ‘Hi I’m Pippa from The Sports Injury Clinic’, easy to
“I have never been known to give up; there is always a solution.”
THIRTYFIVE
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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 8 2015
Your CEO Man
AMANDA MALLIA – The Man’s Perspective
Despite the large compensation and perks, being a high-flying CEO comes with its challenges, many of which no one is aware of except the CEO themselves. In fact, in today’s fast paced world, CEO’s face more pressure now than ever. With markets and technologies that are changing rapidly, as well as a huge surge in financial and legal scrutiny, top CEO executives can certainly push themselves to the point of mental, emotional, and physical breakdown. The Many Roles of the CEO A CEO has many responsibilities, which over time can really weigh on his or her shoulders. First, a CEO is the ultimate decision maker and director of the company.
They are also the executor and manager. They're the head honcho; the one that everyone praises when things are going well and the one they scoff at when things don't. Their mind tends to always be in thought about the how, when, and why’s of the company. They don't even feel stress anymore because they are so accustomed to it. At times, they feel like the world is on their shoulders. Still, at the same time, most CEO’s are confident and utilize their management skills to the best of their ability. In fact, some are so confident their egos are in over-active mode. This can ultimately lead them into conflict in and out of the office, as they may be so confident that they are not willing to be open to other people’s ideas.
Navigating Intimate Relationships With so many work responsibilities, coming home and trying to navigate an intimate relationship can oftentimes be a struggle for CEO’s. Certainly, their interpersonal relationships can suffer depending on various factors. Dealing with business all day can put a man in “business mode.” While at work, mentally, he’s sharp, emotionally, he’s passionate, and physically, his nervous system is on high alert. Adrenaline is pumping, as he knows he must get a zillion things done by the end of the work day in order to keep the business running smoothly. So when he gets off work, he may be completely zapped. His energy level is high, yet he needs to come down and relax for a while. Many people who work stressful jobs
THIRTYSIX FOU
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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 8 2015 simply need to take an hour or so to unwind and do some selfcare before engaging with others. It’s necessary and healthy. The way women and men deal with such pressures differs. Your man’s role as CEO takes a toll on him, whether he lets you know or not. He may be silently experiencing much pressure and either not be accustomed to sharing or not feel safe to share. As his partner, create a safe space for him to be vulnerable and honest with you about his stress levels, allowing no room for judgment. Give him some time to unwind and you’ll both be better off in the long run. If you’re not sure how to support your partner and his role as CEO, simply have a genuine heart-to-heart with him and allow him to share. Your relationship can thrive when such authentic communication can occur. The most powerful thing can sometimes be the simplest. Be present, be a genuine listener to his needs, and you’ll soon see him open to you more and more, making you a watertight force.
Amanda
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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 8 2015
Guest Writer – Karen Chaston
The Other Side of Loss and Heartbreak The Key to Becoming Your Own Best Friend The old adage “You can’t put an old
entire life with and if you don’t like
I grew up in a large family (6 girls and 1
head on young shoulders” is so true,
what you see, FANTASTIC as
boy) and in hindsight I was always
though if I could go back in time,
awareness is the first step to
seeking attention. This, no doubt, is
what would be some of the
CHANGE”.
why I found myself pregnant at 16 and in an unmarried mother’s home. Now I
conversations I would have with my WOW, it totally sounds like I have my
know I did the right thing by adopting
whole life together. And Yes I do,
out my daughter as she has had a
Firstly, I would like to say that I
though it wasn't that long ago I was in
marvellous life, totally loved by her
would not change anything about my
a bit of a mess. But I am getting
parents and has wanted for nothing. I
life. Everything that has happened
ahead of myself. I would like to tell
know that if I had kept her, I would have
has been a learning experience and
you a bit about myself as there is one
probably married her father and been
has taken me on a path to where I
thing I have learnt in my 57 years, is
divorced with 3 kids by 20... a life I
am today, a woman who wakes up
that there is always gems in hearing
never wanted.
younger self?
every morning, inspired and passionate about her life. A woman who loves what she sees in the mirror and a woman who has become her own best friend. So I guess the advice I would give to my younger self would be just that... ”Wake up every day, spend time on yourself first, look at yourself in the mirror for 5-10 minutes, get to know yourself, be passionate and inspired about your life, become your own
are the only best friend as you person you will be spending your
about other people’s journey that you can take away and embrace into your own life. I am a BraveHeart Woman and I am also a wife, mother and a former Chief Financial Officer (CFO) of a publicly listed company.
THIRTYEIGHT
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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 8 2015
that I go and get my formal
not know how to be a grieving mother, so
qualifications (best advice I have
I very quickly went back to work – I saw it
ever received), so at 38 I found
as a distraction.
myself at Bond University studying my Masters Of Accounting (life
Then a year later, the best thing
was my under grad).
happened, I was made redundant. This was my choice and I totally believe that
By 43 I was a CPA, working as a
my son Dan has given me this gift. He
Financial Controller. As my boys
was always on my case, “Mum get off the
were travelling the world, my
computer, you work too much, you eat
husband and I decided to move
and drink too much, when are you going
back to Sydney as I would attract
to start to be the person you came here
better roles.
to be?”
I was right, within a few years I
Within weeks of knowing about my
was CFO of a publicly listed
pending redundancy I found myself
company earning mid 6 figures.
at Rise LA the BraveHeart
Most people looking at me would
Women (BHW) yearly conference. When
have thought I was very
my girlfriend and I flew there we were not
successful… great job, family,
100% sure what BHW was all about, all
house on the northern beaches,
we knew was that I had looked at this
great car and oversea trips. And I
event for the prior 3 years and thought it
would have agreed with them.
looked interesting.
hardest cross for any parent to bear.
Though now, I have become more
Well it was more than interesting; it was
I always said that I had twins
conscious, I would strongly
transformational from the inside out and
because I did the right thing by my
disagree. I did not realise how dis-
what I had been looking for my whole life.
daughter. Ironically, Dan’s passing
eased I was. I was so un-healthy -
I felt like I had come home.
has brought me closer to my
15 kilos heavier than what I am
daughter, Kim. Prior to that, I would
now, drinking way too much,
After growing up with 5 sisters, I was
see Kim once a year. It’s funny how
wasting my money, working 7
never really one to hang out with the
death gives everything a new
days a week. In a “ground-hog
girls. I found the distorted energies that
perspective. Yes there are no
day daze”. And looking back, most
some women foster (competition,
guarantees that the aged will pass
of my peers were living and still
jealousy, mistrust) to be exhausting.
first, so embrace each day as your
are living a similar life.
I did however marry young at 20 and had 3 amazing sons, Ben, Josh and Dan. Josh and Dan were twins and unfortunately Dan passed away nearly 3 years ago in July 2011, aged 27. The loss of a child is the
BraveHeart Women me a new way for
last as one day it will be. So what changed? What
me to be with myself and with other
In my 30’s, I always felt that I was
happened to make me more
women and collaborate.
missing something. Now don’t get
conscious?
Karen Chaston
me wrong I loved my family, we had a great house and I had a really
Well firstly, as I mentioned, my
good job – Financial Systems
son Dan passed away. It was a
Manager at Dreamworld on the Gold
sudden passing, totally
Coast. One day my boss suggested
unexpected and to be honest I did
THIRTYNINE
CHARITY APM has founded a charity specifically to bring opportunity to Australian Women and Children. 2BMe Foundation raises funds to connect those who are focused and committed to improving their own life circumstances, to the resources that enable them to do so. www.2bmefoundation.org.au We look forward to bringing you more news about what we are doing and how you might get involved very soon.
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