APM Issue 12

APM

SHE LEAVES A LITTLE SPARKLE WHEREVER SHE GOES ISSUE 12

It’s time you set yourself free

HOW YOU CAN START LIVING WITHOUT REGRETS. MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR POTENTIAL.

WHAT’S YOUR IDEAL WINTER ADVENTURE

TIPS AND TRICKS TO GET THROUGH THE COLD THIS SEASON. INCLUDING RECIPES, MUST HAVES AND MORE

business uniqueness AN EXPERIENCE, NOT JUST CUSTOMER SERVICES.

WHAT IS EXPECTED AND WHAT YOU CAN DO TO INCREASE YOUR BUSINESS

shake it off

Experience True Inner Freedom & Self Love yourhappilyeverafter.com.au

with Lauren Jobson m. 0405 835 686

From the editor‌

Hello our wonderful APM Ladies. I cannot believe how quickly this year is

flying by.

As a new year brings new beginnings and changes, when we approach the half way point we can begin to reflect on them. We can evaluate the goals we aimed to achieve and establish new steps to take. I challenge you all to revaluate your goals. Decide whether or not you achieved them, are on the way to, or need a new goal.

This month we are talking all things winter. Many of us struggle with the winter cold and the fight to get out of bed in the morning. So we all need that one thing. Something that makes us jump out of bed to start the day. Bring back the excitement and think about what it is for you.

Finally keep your eyes and ears peeled this month, as we have some exciting news, events and changes happening.

You will not want to miss it. Subscribe to our newsletters and Facebook page to keep update to date with everything APM. Be Kind, Courageous and Confident, Taylah Parker Editor

ADVERTISE WITH US Interested in advertising with us, email APM at maree@backtome.com And we can send you an advertising package

WRITE FOR US Would you love to be a guest writer for APM? We are always looking for fabulous content that is suitable for Women that Educates ~ Inspires ~ Informs and grows our knowledge and choices.

ENGAGE WITH US

HELP US TO HELP OTHERS

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 12

CONTENTS

2 Every Season Has Reason

ENERGY

MAREE EDDINGS

Issue 12 032

4 Sure Signs of Failing Leadership

helen treloar BUSINESS 8 Daring Greatly

book revIew BRENÈ BROWN 10 Easy Peasy Kids

GUEST WRITER

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NAT BROWN

16 Empowering Birth

GUEST WRITER

KATRINA ZASLAVSKY 20 APM Winter Guide

WINTER ADVENTURES YOU

22 Winter Warmer Recipes

Guest Writer & Hayley Martin YOU

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25 10 MUST HAVES FOR THIS MONTH

a p e a c e f u l m I nd YOU

28 Ordering Groceries Online

Lena Turvey PRODUCTIVITY

30 Why Wallow When you Can Fly

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soap box

HELEN TRELOAR 32 It’s Time You Set Yourself Free

SUZI PETROZZI

WELLNESS PSYCHOLOGIST 36 Business Uniqueness

PIPPA HANSON

A PERSONAL JOURNEY

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38 Do You Need to Embrace Vulnerability

SOUL FOOD

HELEN TRELOAR

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Our apm writers

Lauren Jobson

Life Coach tips and techniques to move you towards your goals in life

Hayley Martin Nutritional advice, recipes & wellness articles to elevate your health

Maree Eddings Exploring energy and how it flows or blocks your personal power

Helen Treloar Business & Leadership tips & articles for SME & start-ups

Kirsten Basford The anti-marketing marketing guru magnifying your brand

Penny Votzourakis Customer service advice to grow sales and client loyalty

Lena Turvey Productivity and organisation queen bringing you tips and techniques

Beckie White Style your wardrobe & your life using Beckie’s secrets & suggestions

Julie Bourke Technology is in everyone’s life! Julie helps you use it and protect it well

Joanne Clark Bringing you NLP Success Principles through ‘Women in History’ pieces

Pippa Hanson Be inspired by Pippa’s personal journey as a business owner, mother and wife

Suzi Petrozzi Her dedication to personal development inspires her to keep growing and living a present, purposeful and

powerful life.

She leaves a little

Sparkle wherever

she goes

Every season has a reason HOW TO BEAT THE WINTER BLUES AND MAKE WINTER YOURS!

MAREE EDDINGS ⏐ E N E R G Y

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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 12

Every Season has a reason,

The first month of WINTER is down. Yay only 8 weeks to go!

The cries however seem to have been going for longer than 30 days – (insert whiny voice) ü it’s sooo cold, ü its miserable, ü its terrible weather, ü how are you coping with the cold……

Yep it’s WINTER it is supposed to be cold.

Now we all know that your thoughts create your reality. Simple. Yep your thoughts are not optional people, you want to make your self feel crappy then think crappy thoughts. You want to feel more up beat and happy then think happy thoughts.

A simplistic view, yes it is and yes it works. Every time.

Does it mean you won’t be cold, no. Could it mean you may find some very cute and colourful outfits to wear to make the most of it……hopefully.

It really is only 12 weeks of the year and with the right approach and clothes (you are supposed to wear more clothes in winter than in summer) it can be fun.

There we are done I have solved your winter blues.

Well not really, you see there is more to winter than cold weather.

Every season has a reason for existing.

A reason for why and how they follow each other and when you know what and how you can maximise your time and not dread every moment.

Winter is especially important as it is when the most growing occurs.

While the trees look bare, and the streets look emptier than the other seasons, don’t be fooled.

Underneath those bare limbs, they are working their buns off.

They are getting rid of all that was last year, drop 100% of their leaves, even shed bark, all in the name of growth.

WINTER is preparation for the next twelve months. It’s how you get to your new. It is what you do in winter that determines what you can experience in summer.

Anyone thinking there is a bit more these winter months than just an opportunity to whinge??

Here is one way to think of it.

WINTER is about going in, it’s about reflection and a time to make decisions about what you want to do differently. It’s about doing the work so you can reap the rewards in summer.

Manifestation of ideas and work is usually a 6-month gig. So everything you do in winter shows up in summer……………yep everything.

Here are something’s to remember that may help you have a great winter so you can ensure a sensational summer AND set your next 12 months up for great rewards and fun.

• Summer bodies are created in winter………yep get moving inside or out it doesn’t matter. Get a walking or class buddy, rug up and hit the pavement. Think of those summer arms you might like………they start in winter • Snugly winter is a great place to get up close and personal with your special someone. Open fire, red wine, all great ingredients for personal time to chat and plan that summer holiday.

• Want some summer vegies then hit your local gardening/nursery and plan your veggie stash for the summer. Prepare the soil or place you want to plant and even practice with herbs.

Fresh is best • Spring-cleaning is best done in winter – hit those wardrobes and sell, donate or trash.

Make room for what is about to come after winter that fresh spring air of possibility.

• How are those money goals going?

The end of the financial year is perfect for a sit down and reality check on those money goals. Perhaps they need a dust off, or a going over. Maybe its even time to take a class or sign up for a program to get your money on track once and for all.

Winter is truly a magical time. It is a great time to connect with yourself and get clear on what you really want. YOU have time because you don’t go out as much, you do feel like staying in – that is the point of winter.

Remember drop all the leaves from the year before and start a fresh.

Make sure you rug up so you can marvel in the beauty and wonder that is Mother Nature and all of her glorious and wonderful planning for our seasons to give us exactly what we need and when we need it.

Maree 3

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successful (or perceived as such). These Leaders are dangerous to their own organisation, as they created the PR that they now believe.

However, there is a constant feeling of pressure that accompanies this delusion, as under the surface, they know the truth that they are flying by the seat of their pants.

To generalise, I have found there are 3 common leadership performance indicators lacking in a businesses that is saying ‘things are great’ when in reality their business is bleeding.

Sure Signs of Failing Leadership Failing

HOW ME GETS IN THE WAY OF WE

Helen Treloar – Business It takes people to create a business and people to bring it down.

Sure, market forces will influence… GFC’s, competitors… so many things can influence a business, but ultimately, it will rise or fall due to the leader’s decisions and actions or lack thereof.

An all too common delusion I have come to experience, when working in the larger SME space, is where leaders truly believe their business is a good one, based on criteria and is little to do with best business practice and evidence that profitable results and more to do with their own needs to be

People. Their people have often been with them for years. They are so proud of this fact.

However, when the performance of their people is reviewed or highlighted, they start to withdraw. Sure, their people (or some of them) run their own race, have little or no accountability, treat colleagues as their minions at times, fail to achieve a consistent performance (as there is usually no clear expectation set for them to perform to anyway), but they are good people, they are loyal!

Often, the really good talent has left after a pretty short stay.

Performance reviews are not held and if they are, they lack detail and accountability.

Employees are left to believe they are doing a stellar job, even if they aren’t. The people running the business are not hiring, educating, evaluating or managing their people well or at all in some cases. The people strategies are in chaos.

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Standards. There is a lack of defined

standards in the organisation (and I am not talking Values). Performance, including behaviour and professional conduct, is not outlined or measured.

The leaders will talk to you about their standards but they are missing in action. This usually touches every aspect of the business; sales, marketing, accounting, administration, service, delivery, communication etc.

The tail is wagging the dog and in real terms the leaders of the business are not setting the course or strategies of growth; instead their people do this by default with the best intentions.

Planning. The leadership priorities are the ‘here & now’, fixing issues with people, products, money and customers. They are focused on keeping the balls in the air as cost effectively as they can. As the old saying goes, ‘fail to plan & plan to fail’.

They’ll tell you they have a plan, but if you ask to review it with them, you will soon see that their plan is just a ‘to do’ list. They are usually waiting for the opportunity to have the time to plan, as if it is a blue-sky dream rather than a business necessity. Often, they actually don’t know how to plan for business growth, let alone people growth.

The common finding in all 3 leadership indicators is the mindset of the Leaders themselves. They have become accustomed to their outcomes to the point that they don’t even believe they are accepting anything less than high performance. It has become their new norm. They don’t know what they don’t know.

Worse still, some are not willing to find out what they don’t know. They refuse to do what is required to re-shape the business into a robust, resilient,

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disciplined, profitable entity as it is too confronting for them. This is where the ME affects the WE. The Leader’s look inward at how the changes may affect them and what they will lose rather than looking outward to how their staff will rise to a consistent high-level performance and what they the leaders & their staff will gain.

No pain, no gain. What does this really mean? Well for me, when reshaping a business, it means that before we start to see the consistent profits from people performances we first need to strip it all back and peel away the ‘stuff’ that produces anything less than predictable high quality results.

• Systems need to be reviewed, created, implemented and maintained.

• People need to be reviewed. Do we have the right people in the right roles? What training do they need?

What clarity do they require? What feedback do they need to receive?

• Policies need to be designed to fit the purposeful values of the business. Policies give staff clarity about their rights, expected behaviours and business philosophies. The Policies sit under the Values. Example: Our number one value is family first. Our policy for leave is; in addition to the statutory rights of every employee in personal and annual leave, we gift 3 days per year to employees as ‘family’ leave, to attend school concerts etc.

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• Values must be detailed. This is not so easy, as it is less about what we say we do and specifically what we do as a common group, continuously. Often I find Values don’t match the decisions and actions of leaders and employees in business or they are clichés with no value at all. Values need to be lived.

• Standards. If accepting ‘good enough’ as the standard, the results will be just good enough too.

Standards are set by the leaders actions. They walk and talk the line of what the business stands for.

Customers who purchase from a business with high standards, enjoy their experience regardless of the small hiccups along the way, as the business has a standard of communication, information, solution and outcome that drives accountability and delivery.

• Business First. The Leaders who have businesses that thrive often have an innate intuition when they themselves need to get out of the way, in order for their staff and their business to shine. Turning intuition into success steps is a smart way to drive performance. They run their business as a business rather than a personal bank or place to feel important. They are willing to do whatever is necessary to achieve the ultimate goals and their goals are aligned to the values, systems, policies and culture of the organisation.

The good news is that for every delusional Leader there are plenty of Exceptional Leaders who are actively seeking the HOW. They are acutely aware of their deficits and are ready to be educated and informed.

They implement as they learn and they recruit smart people who add significant value to the business.

These are the people that I choose to work with.

Can I re-shape any business?

Nope. Nada. That’s a no!

Only the mind that seeks to grow and develop will accept change and lay down the ego in order to have the layers pulled back, before the regrowth can commence.

Does it take courage? Nope. It takes honesty, accountability and a willingness to be wrong.

What does it take? ACTION. So if you are a business leader and you would like to know for sure if your ME is costing the WE in your business. Call me.

To Your Success

Helen

e l p o e p s e k a t “It to create a business and people to bring it down.�

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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 12 A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 12

BY Brenè Brown

BY Brenè Brown APM’S BOOK REVIEW BY LENA TURVEY APM’S BOOK REVIEW BY LENA TURVEY

“We must walk into the arena, it may be—a new “Wewhatever must walk into the arena, relationship, whatever it may anbe—aimportant new meeting, our creative process, relationship, an important or a difficult family conversation— meeting, our creative process, or with courage and the willingness a difficult family conversation— engage. and Rather sitting on withto courage the than willingness the sidelines and to engage.

Rather than sittinghurling on judgment and advice, we must the sidelines and hurling dare to judgment and show advice,upwe and must let ourselves be up seen.andThislet is dare to show vulnerability.

This This is daring ourselves be seen. is greatly. vulnerability. This is daring greatly.

Brenè Brown has written a book about everything we area afraid Brenè Brown has written book of about ourselves we doofnot about everything we that are afraid wantourselves revealedthat to other about we dopeople. not She outlines that no matter how want revealed to other people. you that wantnotomatter keep how a safe Shemuch outlines distance from people always much you want to keepand a safe have an exit route planned; it will distance from people and always take to be usitthan have anless exit energy route planned; will to tryless andenergy hide it. to be us than to take try and hide it.

She talks about vulnerability, that is notabout necessarily a badthat thing Sheit talks vulnerability, and that when we let shame it is not necessarily a bad thinginto dies. andour thatlives, whenengagement we let shame intoWe and that’s ok.We ouraren’t lives,perfect, engagement dies. aren’t perfect, and that’s ok.

As a researcher on shame and understand why shame has such a huge impact yourhas life such and a how Brenè dedicated As vulnerability, a researcher on has shame and a understand why on shame large portion of her interviewing, youimpact can change it will on yourit,life and be howwell vulnerability, Brenè haslife dedicated a huge collating on these youworth the purchase price large portion and of herreporting life interviewing, can change it, it will be of wellthis book. topics. Although not a keen collating and reporting on presenter these worth the purchase price of this (she prefers to research) she has topics. Although not a keen presenter book. nabbed a spot on the famous TED “The only people who don’t (she prefers to research) she has experience shame,wholack talks for her groundbreaking only people don’tthe nabbed a spot on the famouswork.

TED “The capacity forshame, empathylack and human experience the talks for her groundbreaking work. connection.

Here’s your choice: What I loved most about this book capacity for empathy and human was this little quote, “If you choose Fess up experiencing shame or your choice: What I loved most about this book connection. toHere’s admit you’re a sociopath. to little decide, you “If stillyou have made a Fess wasnotthis quote, choose up that to experiencing shame or notchoice.” to decide, you still have made a admit that you’re a sociopath.

Don’t you just love that quote? choice.”

Shame is alove universal human A mind blowing moment while Don’t you just that quote? this book moment came about emotion all experience; is that a we universal humanwe A reading mind blowing whilewith Shame are allthat in this Brenè’s of the difference reading thisdefinition book came about with emotion wetogether. all experience; we between shame and guilt.

“I am bad” Brenè’s definition of the difference are all in this together.

Overall this book is well worth being shame shame and andguilt.

“I did something between “I am bad” reading, is iswritten by an bad”shame which is guilt. is power in Overall this itbook well worth being and “I There did something academic so at times understanding shame getsin its reading, it and is written by some an bad” which is guilt.that There is power readers may find it a little hard hold over us from being understanding that shame gets its academic and so at times some to followmay but persevere andhard you to shall unspeakable.

If you from can’t talk about readers find it a little hold over us being learn great deal shame it, it wins. If you can’t talk about follow buta persevere andabout you shall unspeakable. anda the human A life learn great deal condition. about shame it, it wins.

Speaking your shame to a loving and andchanging and amazing book. the human condition.

A life caring person can instantly take the Speaking your shame to a loving and changing and amazing book.

What did you think of the book? I’d stingperson and the power out of a shame caring can instantly take the lovedid to you know. spiral. highly recommend you and What think of the book? I’d sting and Ithe power out of a shame everyone you know read this lifespiral. I highly recommend you and love to know. changing book.

If the onlythis thing everyone you know read life-you Happy reading!

Lena xx Lena xx

take away book you is to Happy reading! changing book. from If the this only thing take away from this book is to

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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 12

Easy peasy kids Motherhood UNPREPARED & I STILL AM!

Natalie Brown – Guest Writer

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Nothing in the world can prepare you for Motherhood. No matter what you read or get told. There are not enough adjectives, verbs or nouns to describe Motherhood. I remember very clearly when one of my best friend from school had her first baby.

My beautiful, super organised, glamourous girlfriend; opening the front door, looking absolutely petrified, tired, with tears streaming down her face. She looked deranged, she hugged me so tight and cried. Leading her to the couch I hugged her back, stroked her forehead and asked “Sweetheart what the F*** happen? Talk to me”. A shrilling cry, a sound unknown to me like a fire alarm drill on caffeine pierced through the room. She looked at me and in a muffled strained sentence said “What the F*** happened, is that I had a baby”.

Move forward to the next year, when my girlfriend came to visit me after my daughter was born and there I stood at the door looking absolutely petrified, tired, with tears streamimg down my face, my PJ’s covered in milk and a number of other fluids and solids with tears streaming down my face saying “Take her, hold her and cuddle her”.

live & laugh

Some how I got through it, took me about a two years to find my own

motherhood stride an internal personal agreement that winging it was my stride and my parenting style. A style that on a good day was getting dressed. You do what you can and cope the best way you can. We are all different therefore we all have are own way of dealing with things, although I do get flashbacks of how much I cried, either tears of happiness, frustration, sadness, whatever they were for I remember crying and lots of it, sometimes I cried more than my baby. I did love my baby with all my heart, just had emotions running through my body I had never felt in my life before.

As a new mother, I had constant jet lag without travelling and I lived in my pyjamas for a couple of weeks months OK nearly a year. Trying to read my newborn daughters cries. I had a book that told me it was easy to read your babies cries and differentiate between hunger, sleep, etc.. I can’t sing in tune let alone distinguish a cry.

With my daughter was six I started to panic about her teenagers years, just thinking of mine made me shudder.

The Mr. thought it a good idea to write a contract with her, something we could both use in her teens, to remind her that we love her unconditionally and of course sing our own praises. It’s Mr 7′s contract time this weekend.

Motherhood “Wow Mummy your vagina is massive!”

Now as my kids are older they never cease to amaze me with their vitality for life and are always on the go. Mr 7 is a happy, sensitive soul his view of the world is simple, have fun be kind. Miss 16 is confident, has the best laugh ever and a strong sense of justice her view of the world right

now is “Mum will I ever need to use simultaneous equations in the real world?” If I could bottle up the happiness and energy my 7-year-old son has and distribute it as a pick me up tonic I’d make a fortune. Yet even today I can feel unprepared for situations and questions that occur daily, again I revert to my winging it mode, which also includes turning a bright shade of red and wishing I had an invisibility cloak.

- Mr 3 with at the grocery checkout he announced to all “Mummy has a very hairy bottom, the lady took a long time to ripped it all off” - Miss 4 in a restaurant ” Mummy did I come out of your tummy?” “No darling, mummy has already explained you came out from we can talk more about it at home” I was trying to be discreet the restaurant was packed. Miss 4 “Oh mum you mean your vagina. Wow mummy that’s right your vagina is massive” At the top of her darling voice. The whole restaurant heard and laughed uncontrollably.

- Always at the shops Mr 6 ” Ah my head is so itchy I must have a million nits, can you check mum?”

- Miss 2 back in the UK to the milkman, post man, any man really that came to the front door “Are you my daddy?”

- Mr 7 on seeing lady with a box of tampons “Hey lady, don’t put those in your nerf gun they get stuck” - Visiting A&E with my kids, one managed to shove a ball of tissue so high up their nose it had to be removed by a doctor, the other

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found a tic tac and pushed that up their nose, again requiring removal by a doctor.

- My Miss 2 use to strip off at the gym creche and run around naked, with the creche staff calling for me over the loud speaker to come quick my child was naked again.

explaining that this particular gorilla had an infection in his hand and it had to be amputated. Mr 6 puts his hand up to ask a question. I feel proud my son is getting involved until Mr 6 says ” Mrs Zookeeper lady did the Gorilla get an infection on his hand from pulling his penis so much like he is now?”

There are so many times I’ve been - The day Mr 6 was captivated by unprepared and I’m sure there are the love bites on the checkout girl’s many more delightful memories to neck. be had with my children. Have you been unprepared ?

To read more from Easy Peasy Kids - At zoo with Mr 6 and some of his go to friends, watching the gorilla whilst http://easypeasykids.com.au/categor the zoo keeper is talking about y/blog/ gorillas. The gorilla decides that this is the moment to really pull at its penis for a jolly. The zoo keeper is

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Contact joanne@destinypursuit. com.au a few places are available for the next training - 7 Days to be a Practitioner of NLP. Register now at pages.destinypursuit.com/nlp-apm If you are ready for more you can also take your training to the next level in Joanne’s 10 day Master Practitioner training. Register at destinypursuit.com.au/events.php

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“There’s an important difference between giving up and letting go, Surrendering to the labour is sometimes hard for those who like to be in control� to 16

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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 12

E MP O W E R I N G B I R T H EXTRACT FROM ‘A MODERN WOMAN’S GUIDE TO A NATURAL EMPOWERING BIRTH’

Katrina Zaslavsky ⏐ guest writer In the birth experience control becomes something quite different.

Being in ‘control’ in the birth experience is most important, as the birthing woman must remain very present—in the moment with total focus.

After a grueling 32 hours of labour, high forceps and “lower region” repair, not to mention the dreaded postnatal depression cloud that followed, I decided there had to be a better way to deliver. A caesarean was not one of my options.

In the months that followed until Jeremy’s birth, I engaged in a determined focus to learn about hypnobirthing and try to deal with any fears I had in the past.

We learnt about hospital protocol, deep breathing, lung capacity, “hot chip huffing”, hip and perineum positioning, crowning and the role of the “gorilla”: the partner, husband, boyfriend, family member or doula who accompanies and supports you in the birthing suite.

"It was an intense time of discovering what I feared, what I could imagine, how I trusted myself and others and collecting new skills to deal with labour that would ultimately lead to an easier, happier, more comfortable birth."

They should be skilled and confident in knowing your physical and emotional needs and also in relaxation techniques and basic hospital procedures. I spent as much time as possible at home in labour before leaving for hospital.

There was an element of knowing when to hand over my body and baby in the case of things going pear-shaped. Medical professionals have studied long and hard and have far more medical knowledge than me.

My bags were packed and my friend Mish, who had experienced a hypnobirth, came over to accompany me. I bathed quietly in warm water and did not make a fuss or react as the surges began slowly creeping in. I was still uncertain whether I would instinctively ‘know’ when to leave home but Mish kept whispering, “You will know Heidi, you will know.”

In control of her breath, in control of what she requires and desires, aware that her body is comfortable and relaxed, in control so that she can make choices.

She must be in control and present so she doesn’t get out of control, lose focus, which increases the need for possible intervention. Once you lose control it takes a bit to regain that.

A Personal victory After Learning to Let Go - Heidi’s Story The mere thought of having another baby was not only thrilling and exciting but also worrying and overwhelming. Of course we had enough love, time, cuddles and energy to give. However, there was a huge mountain that loomed over my heart, mind and tummy.

I was extremely fearful about how to deliver the baby into the world in a far more pleasant way than how my first baby had been born. I am a bit of a perfectionist and feel better about life knowing detail, outcomes, planning, and timetables.

I guess I am not one to “go with the flow”. So when it came to having my first baby, I was way out on a limb, in

and confidence required to have a positive labour and birth experience. I managed to attend a couple of workshops with a group of other expectant couples."

the dark, alone and frightened.

I therefore returned to the private hospital where I had given birth to my baby girl, Imogen, 19 months before.

However, I knew what I wanted this time: a natural, uninterrupted drugfree labour and birth, and as painless as possible.

“To me, hypnobirthing was the development of knowledge, skills

The course taught me deep relaxation techniques and visualisations. I often listened to an affirmation CD in the car, especially on longer car trips. My biggest

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challenge was letting go. I found it difficult at first to give in to the idea that my body would know what to do.

I did understand the physiology

behind the woman’s body and birthing experience, having studied

anatomy. It was more an emotional cling onto the ledge of fear: the dreaded “what ifs”.

I often thought back to the animal kingdom and the women, who centuries before me in cultures long ago, did not have monitors, stirrups, sterilised equipment, mediballs and surgeons. To help my body relax, I kept thinking of a rag doll, lifeless and limp, with no strength in their cotton limbs, torso or neck.

When surges became stronger I simply flopped wherever I was and closed my eyes, delving into hearing my heartbeat, breath and observing the tightness across my tummy.

My uterus and cervix were simply expanding, moving, warming up for the main event. It was exciting to think my baby was not far away from its first cuddle and kiss.

“Thanks to my state of relaxation, I don't know how many hours labour lasted."

It crept up like the soft wave on the shore. I scrambled into the car at 1.30am, cat-like across the back seat and on top of my blanket. I felt every bump on the freeway, as my body was incredibly sensitive. We arrived at the hospital the same time I was born 32 years before.

Despite a routine internal examination being hospital protocol, I opted against this. First victory!

I also requested for the fetal heart rate monitor to be switched to minimum so I did not hear the “beep beeps”, and only the midwife could see the heart rate on the monitor.

Second victory!

I wished not to be spoken to unless there was intervention required, based on medical fact and

observation. My midwife only spoke to my husband outside the door.

Third victory!

I used whatever was in the room and listened to what my body wanted to do. I pulled the cushions off the couch and knelt over them on the floor. I was not going to be put into stirrups or lay on my back on the bed. Fourth victory!

The lights were low and dim in the hospital and I had clasped my own pillow from the minute I left—my little comfort aid.

I instinctively got up on the bed on all fours, head biting into my pillow and legs apart. My voice was a growl; a deep moan, a release, a relief, a throated howl to the depths of my perineum, and at the in-breath of a further gruelling “surge” I released— with gusto and relief—the embryonic sac that had enveloped my little baby for the past 38 weeks.

The intact bag of fluid came out. The midwife whispered, “Bubs is coming sweetheart, concentrate and let go.”

Confused but focused (as I thought that could not have been the baby) I filled my lungs with air and breathed down, concentrating, allowing, freeing and propelling my baby down and outwards as my body expanded to its limit.

Two surges later, my little boy arrived with a short umbilical cord, so as I rolled over, I cuddled him on my tummy, as he didn’t reach my chest.

When his perfectly positioned head moved through me, it was not “pain” as such; it was more of an intense heat, a burn without the fire.

It was a valve of pressure released... a soothing floodgate of relaxation and muscle fatigue; a delicious sense that the “worst” was over, and my miracle took his first breath. The midwife did not cut his cord straight away. Fifth victory!

My baby Jeremy was gurgling, cooing, curled up the way he was inside, and had very blonde hair, eyelashes and brows.

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"Deep, dark pools of blue gazed up at me, and a flood of pride flushed over me as I had just encountered my wildest dream without a mil of

analgesic. Good on me!"

It was a moment in time of bliss, fatigue, the odd shock shiver (as it had been rather quick) and a thirsty mouth.

His nails were perfect; lips, pale pink.

The lights remained low, as were their voices and a tear of joy ran down my husband’s face.

The midwife was astounded. Smiling, she wrapped us up before cutting the cord and leaving us to make me a hot tea. It’s an encounter that still fills me with pride and disbelief when I recall my marvelous achievement.

I have no doubt in my mind that any willing, able and confident mother can and has the ability to create her own magical experience through determination, study, focus, health and drive.

Women have been blessed with amazing bodies. You can do it. At least open your mind to what could be. I am a living testimony that anything is possible!

Jeremy became an avid breast feeder; a smiling and happy boy who makes me laugh, sleeps well, loves riding with Uncle Ben on the motorbike and continues to astound me at three-and a-half-years with his depth of concern for others and his light and cheerful disposition.

"There’s an important difference between giving up and letting go.

Surrendering to the labour is sometimes hard for those who like to be in control.” ~ JESSiCA HATCHiGAN Follow the details below to find more about the book, or to learn more about Birth Goddess, founded by Katrina Zaslavsky

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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 12

winter advenTures

BY Brenè Brown

APM’S BOOK REVIEW BY LENA TURVEY

“We must walk into the arena, whatever it may be—a new relationship, an important meeting, our creative process, or a difficult family conversation— with courage and the willingness to engage. Rather than sitting on the sidelines and hurling judgment and advice, we must dare to show up and let ourselves be seen. This is vulnerability. This is daring greatly.

As a researcher on shame and vulnerability, Brenè has dedicated a large portion of her life interviewing, collating and reporting on these topics. Although not a keen presenter (she prefers to research) she has nabbed a spot on the famous TED talks for her groundbreaking work.

What I loved most about this book was this little quote, “If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.”

A YOU mind blowing moment Brenè Brown has Awritten a book PEACEFUL MIND BRINGS ... YOUR WINTER GUIDE TO while reading came about everything we are afraid of RECIPES MUST HAVES AND SUPERthis TIPSbook & TRICKS. WHATabout with about ourselves that do YOU not ASKBrenè’s MOREwe COULD FOR THIS definition SEASON? of the difference between shame and guilt. “I am bad” want revealed to other people. being shame and “I did something She outlines that no matter how bad” which is guilt. There is power in much you want to keep a safe understanding that shame gets its distance from people and always hold over us from being have an exit route planned; it will unspeakable. If you can’t talk about take less energy to be us than to it, it wins. try and hide it.

She talks about vulnerability, that it is not necessarily a bad thing and that when we let shame into our lives, engagement dies. We aren’t perfect, and that’s ok.

Speaking your shame to a loving and caring person can instantly take the sting and the power out of a shame spiral. I highly recommend you and everyone you know read this lifechanging book. If the only thing you take away from this book is to

understand why shame has such a huge impact on your life and how you can change it, it will be well worth the purchase price of this book.

“The only people who don’t experience shame, lack the capacity for empathy and human connection. Here’s your choice: Fess up to experiencing shame or admit that you’re a sociopath.

Don’t you just love that quote?

Shame is a universal human emotion that we all experience; we are all in this together.

Overall this book is well worth reading, it is written by an academic and so at times some readers may find it a little hard to follow but persevere and you shall learn a great deal about shame and the human condition. A life changing and amazing book.

What did you think of the book? I’d love to know.

Happy reading!

Lena xx

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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 12

Healthy choc cookies HEALTHY CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES FROM THE POWER OF WELLNESS BLOGGER

Claire power – guest writer

We love this blog and the beautiful and healthy recipes she shares. The images of the food are a call to action in their own right. A little about Claire...

I am French but I live in Perth, Australia. Being French I have always been surrounded with healthy delicious foods. Going to farmer’s markets have been a family tradition on Sundays for as long as I can remember.

When I came to Australia on my own at the age of 18 I suddenly had to cook for myself and after a few months of eating junk I experimented in the kitchen and found my passion in health and cooking.

I believe in being close to nature in the way I eat by

choosing local, in season wholesome.ingredients whenever I can.

In the past year my passion for health and wellness has led me to start this health and food blog to share my recipes and sign up to the Institute of Integrative Nutrition to become a health coach. I strongly believe in the power of food, love and health to live a happy fulfilling life, hence the name Power of Wellness. Power is also my married name!

You can find this recipe and many more and subscribe to Claire by following the link below...

INGREDIANTS: (MAKES 12)

• • • • • •

• •

• •

2 eggs 1/4 tsp of baking soda 1/2 cup arrowroot flour 1/3 cup almond meal 3 tbsp coconut oil 3 tbsp coconut sugar or any other sugar/sweetener 3 tbsp cacao powder 1 tbsp cacao nibs (or more for a bit more crunch if you don't mind the bitterness) 1 tsp vanilla pinch of salt

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 12

Wonderful wInter treat

Thai pumpkin & sweet potato soup

Hayley martin - true form health Photograph: Hayley Martin | True Form Health

Ingredients: • • • • • • • • • •

½ Pumpkin 2 Sweet Potatoes 1.2-2 L Stock 1 Brown Onion, Chopped 1 Red Chilli, Chopped 400 ml Coconut Cream 2cm Knob Ginger, Grated 1 Tablespoon Coconut Oil 1 Garlic Clove, Minced Coriander to Garnish

What to do:

• Chop pumpkin and sweet potato into chunks and throw into a large pot with onion and stock to bring to the boil.

• Reduce to simmer, adding garlic, ginger and chilli and cook until pumpkin and potato is soft.

• Blend together (using a bar mix or after letting the soup cool, a blender) and stir through coconut cream.

• Garnish with coriander to serve.

To check out more recipes go to : www.trueformhealth.com.au

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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 12

Foundation Clinique’s Chubby Touch-Up Stick

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is your go to make-up essential for on the go. Easily blends for an even coverage and a creamy moisturizing finish. Be flawless for any occasion this season.

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Black Opium Perfume

Immunity

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Battle your cold with a simple immunity booster. Try supplements or make delicious smoothies for your morning breakfast.

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Winter Layers

The best way to get through this winter is simply layers. And it can be so easily achieve, combine your favourite knit, scarf and coat for cosy and stylish look. We are loving TOKITO’s Panelled Coat.

Bright Nails

Dream of warmer days with bright nails, and make every outfit shine. We think OPI’s bright California Red is a perfect reminder of summer.

Adorable Mug

With all the warms drinks this season, make everything cute with a statement mug. We adore this ‘You Are Beautiful’ Mug by Christina Re

With expose rocks in this season a statement jewellery piece can complete your look.

Create an outfit clothed in black and signify your look with a bright pop of colour in your accessories. The Mandi Stone from Francesca’s is a must.

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This gorgeous perfume will bring a bang of energy and intensity into your life. An experiential blend of black coffee and white flowers, created by the orange blossom.

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Statement Jewels

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Hydration Water

A tall drink of water for parched skin. The winter cold can be tough on your delicate skin. So, hydrate it with the soothing Burt’s Bees Intense Hydration Nourishing Facial Water, winner of Myers Best Skincare Product 2016 A/W.

Bold Lips

Add a touch of colour to any outfit with a bright and fun lipstick. The Dior Addict Lipstick combines a long wearing coat and an intense high wattage colour, you’ll want to try them all.

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Soothing Candle

Create the perfect relaxing environment with a soothing candle. Molton Brown’s The blend is luxurious with alluring ginger, peach and floral notes.

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Now, more than ever, women's voices are needed to create the change necessary to help the world move forward.

If you're a woman ready to get clear, take charge and make it happen in the world as an empowered woman, then join Suzi Petrozzi, women's empowerement coach and psychologist, for The 2016 Empowered Woman Virtual Summit, July20-22nd.

She's brought together 19 of the most empowered and successful women, and asked each of them to dive deep into their personal journey and share wisdom and success strategies that allow them to have a life of their dreams, and make a HUGE impact in the world‌ so you can do it too!

The 2016 Empowered Woman Virtual Summit Get Clear, Take Charge and Make it Happen!

To register for this inspiring event click here: www.theempoweredwomantraining.com

IT’S TIME WE MET

APM

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THIS SEPTEMBER MELBOURNE YOU GET TO CREATE YOUR VERSION OF A PEACEFUL MIND.

YOUR DAY TO RETREAT, RELAX AND REFRESH. TO REGISTER YOUR INTEREST AND GO IN THE DRAW FOR AN APM PACK VALUED AT $750 SIMPLY EMAIL THE WONDERFUL TAYLAH AT TAYLAHP@HOTMAIL.COM MORE DETAILS TO COME……

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A Peaceful Mind â?? ISSUE 12

Ordering Groceries Online T I M E S A V E R O R M O N E Y T A K E R ?

Lena turveyâ??productivity

Recently I started ordering my fresh fruit and veggies, milk and dairy products, nuts and bread and more from Aussie Farmers Direct. After the articles in the news about our Australian Dairy Farmers getting shafted by the big milk companies and the gist of it being, to support the farmers buy local milk and not the Coles or Woolies milk, I decided to switch almost my entire weekly shop.

So what happened? I tried both Coles online and Woolworths previously for home delivery but wasn't happy with either for a number of reasons. I heard about Aussie Farmers Direct which is supposed to support our farmers. I heard some bad experiences and I heard some good ones. I signed up a few months ago and so far I am happy.

I started with an order for a range of products that I usually buy from Coles, the end price was roughly the same but the quality was better and the fruit

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lasted all week rather than a day or two like it usually does.

The order was on my doorstep Monday morning, fresh and in boxes with the milk in a freezer bag with ice bricks (not that they are needed at the moment with our 4 degree temperatures at the moment!).

All I need to do is bring it inside and unpack it.

The veggies are fresh and the fruit lasts longer, the milk is good and creamy (I buy the whole milk) and the meat is a bit hit and miss. I liked the mince, but the steaks were a bit chewy and fatty. The nuts are great, the special varieties are way too moreish and yummy though, so we only get these for our movie nights with the kids instead of of chocolates and lollies.

I make my final order on Saturday's, most things are on a weekly repeat so I only have to tweak my regular order, some are fortnightly only and some are

3

once off if I am trying something new.

Overall, I know it has saved me at least an hour each week at the local supermarket and I think it saves me money not getting sucked into buying other items I don't need. I still have to purchase things like tinned veggies or lentils etc but my spending at Coles has significantly reduced lately.

I need to stress that this is not a paid testimonial, this is my true experience so far. If you decide you want to try Aussie Farmers Direct, please tell them I sent you! I may get a little discount from them if you do, which I would appreciate. :) Do you order online? What are your experiences with Coles, Woollies, Aussie Farmers Direct or others?

Lena

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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 12

Helen Treloar

Why Wallow

When You Can Fly?

Have you ever experienced a situation that leaves you stunned? More than that, the after flow is one of anger and hurt?

At some point there will be a tipping point. You know, that feeling that comes when your conscious awareness meets your subconscious and they stare each other down.

Your truth (which can be quite different from THE truth) presents itself to you and you have a choice.

You can keep looping in vengeful thoughts and justifications and wallow in the energy of victim, as you track the ongoing poor behaviour of those who wronged you (as this is the only behaviour you seek to promote in this person / these persons); seeking supporters of your position as you go. Or, you can forgive

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silently and choose to let go and move forward, taking with you, only the learning from the situation that will enable and empower you in the future.

There are so many beliefs that come with life... things happen for a reason, when you are ready to move forward you will, karma is a bitch, what comes around goes around, the truth will out...

It's 'pick and mix' time, as any and all of the following apply...

They are on their own journey and will continue to loop in their own pattern of (insert key word here... drama, pain, anger, control...) until they realise that it is they who need to change. You were just another piece of their puzzle and you came to learn something too.

Be clear that they did nothing TO you but did FOR themselves and this affected you. You are not the point of their behaviour. You are collateral damage maybe, but the point is so much more than you and nothing to do with you. To stay attached is a choice. To continue to give your power to them is a choice.

It has been my experience as a coach and in my own life, that we achieve a happier outcome for ourselves and others, when we own our part in the situation (everyone plays a part), forgive ourselves for that part (we are perfectly flawed, each and every one of us), forgive those who were also involved (silently in our own mind if necessary), and we move forward, letting them go.

So what does 'letting them go' really mean here?

We each seek to control others in some way, and we have unsaid expectations of each other. All of us. This person / these people failed in some way to meet your

4

expectations. These expectations can now be changed, removed or applied to others who will probably meet them, as they share similar expectations (values).

Values usually surface in times of test, and it can be, that when things are great we can miss or ignore the miss match. We justify and forgive their behaviour until it really affects us in a negative way.

Let go.

Release the negative energy and centre yourself.

Focus on being who you want to be and spending time with those who give you wings.

Be kind in your mind towards those who you feel have wronged you. They are doing the best they can with what they have. Let them go in your minds eye; release them from the negative grip they have held.

Smile, breathe, connect with those you love and make new plans and goals.

We can choose to wallow in pain and anger or we can fly free and move forward towards happiness and freedom of thought.

1

No matter which path we choose, there will always be a voice in our heads asking us "what if"? What if I miss out on something? What if I don’t get it right? Or what if it doesn’t work out?

The..most..painful regrets are cripp ling, and often come because we don't have the confidence to do what we want, or we choose a path based on fear. Whenever we do something out of fear, guilt, or obligation we end up complicating our life and look back wishing we made a different decision.

Asking "what if" is part of being human, but painful regrets don't need to dominate your life. The most important step to avoiding painful regrets in life is to focus on what is important to you.

A little bit of selfishness is not going to hurt you or others, if it means starting to trust yourself.

Here’s how you can start living without regrets: 1. Visualize your goals.

Get a clear picture of what you want, where you're going, and how to get there.

Suzi Petrozzi ⏐ Wellness Psychologist

It's time you set Yourself free!

Start living without regrets, 4 simple tips!

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One of the best ways to do this is to surround yourself with inspiring and uplifting people who are willing to share their knowledge and experience. Learn and grow from those who’ve gone before you but don’t hold them on a pedestal.

If someone says something which doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, let that one go.

2. Avoid other people’s drama.

We each create our own life story and live accordingly. Some

2

stay in the drama people prefer to genre. Just because they tell you about their problems doesn’t mean

they want your help. Let them find solutions to their own problems.

3. Take good care of yourself, both emotionally and physically.

Maybe you feel like you’re putting everyone else's needs first and not practicing the self-care that you know you need.

It’s your responsibility to nourish your emotional, spiritual and physical needs. How you treat your needs is reflected in how the outside world treats you back.

Make decisions that feel right for you – not everyone else. Decisions made purely out of fear, obligation or guilt are not going to serve anyone in the long term, yourself included.

4. Live your life positively.

Start the day with the question “How can I make a difference today?” This will help you focus on what you love doing and what you’re good at.

When you approach your day this way you are more likely to wake up on a mission instead of feeling bored, overwhelmed and "over it".

Each day presents us with an opportunity to make the most of life by being who we are and using all of who we are, to make a difference, however big or small. To the degree that you've given it your best by living in the moment and listening to yourself, then you can never look back at life in regret.

Suzi Petrozzi is a Wellness Psychologist and Women’s Empowerment Coach.

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Register for your ‘first bite’ – a complimentary consultation – today!

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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 12

AN EXPERIENCE, NOT JUST CUSTOMER SERVICE – THAT IS EXPECTED!

BusIness unIquenEss

Pippa Hanson ⏐ personal journey A recent trip to Bali reminded me of the importance of uniqueness; now I’m not talking about the goods or services that we offer however the uniqueness of what makes clients return to our businesses.

In Bali every shop along the Kuta strip has the same items for sale and they can usually source a different colour or size from their ‘friend’ if they don’t have it in their store. Plenty of competition.

What makes us choose to purchase from one store over another with the same goods?

How do our clients make this decision and what keeps them coming back?

Let’s start with the stores which are small, cramped, often slightly on the nose and ultimately not that appealing to enter, we are still drawn in!

In Western worlds if our stores were not clean, tidy, visually appealing and smelled nicely

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clients would not return, nor would they recommend our businesses to their friends and families, These qualities are the basics, before we even open the doors.

How is it then in Bali we can shop at these stores and then continue to go back and recommend to our friends and family?

Whether we bought goods or experienced services we are creatures of habit and once we are onto something that has resonated with our souls, made us feel alive, happy and had a great experience we want to repeat it.

Have I finally worked out the reason for my teenage daughters shopping sprees!

What is it that you offer above your product or service?

What makes clients think of our businesses?

• Pleasure or Pain.

What reminds them of your business?

• The lemon scented essential oil burning on the counter?

• A certain colour • A certain word • The wrapping The top 5 reasons clients repeat business that I have identified are; 1. Being greeted (promptly) and the use of names oThis makes people feel special, remembered, important 2. Being listened to oIdentified by their need being met (and hopefully the first time!)

3. The ease of transactions oPurchases, returns, enquiries, assistance 4. Ease of parking oHigh on most clients lists, especially if a regular client

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5. The after care service oThis applies to goods and services it is about the whole experience.

The Balinese offer a complete experience. The product or service is the same but the importance is on how they have made people feel, solved their problem, and offered a solution.

A total experience.

Have you ever heard a business owner say I offer “great customer service”, clients expect great customer service as the absolute minimum of their contact with any business, that’s not enough?

What experience do you offer your clients?

Pippa

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CHARITY APM has founded a charity specifically to bring opportunity to Australian Women and Children.

2BMe Foundation raises funds to connect those who are focused and committed to improving their own life circumstances, to the resources that enable them to do so. www.2bmefoundation.org.au We look forward to bringing you more news about what we are doing and how you might get involved very soon.

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WRITERS WANTED Do you LOVE to write and believe you a story to tell that inspires or educates women? APM love to share – and your submission will be received with gratitude and excitement.

CONACT US AT: sparkle@apeacefulmind.com.au

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