APM
SHE LEAVES A LITTLE SPARKLE WHEREVER SHE GOES ISSUE 13
The art of Collaborative leadership A HIGHLY ENGAGING LEADER WILL BE THE MASTER OF COLLABORATION
The truth about manifestation
WHAT IS BLOCKING YOUR MANIFESTATION PROCESS
Need a Recipe For Happiness? Well Here it is…
MOTIVATIONAL LEADERSHIP
From the editor…
Hello our wonderful APM Ladies. I cannot believe how quickly this year is It flying is getting to the end of the by. closer year, which means it is time to start wrapping things up. Time to tie up any As a new year brings new beginnings loose ends, make sure you’ve reached and changes, when we approach the your goals. half way point we can begin to reflect on them.remember We can evaluate the too goals we But… it is never late. aimed to achieve and establish new Make today the today you start somesteps to take. I challenge you all to thing new, don’t wait until tomorrow. revaluate your goals. Decide whether or not you achieved them, are onHave the way However, spring is not over yet. to, made or need a new goal. you your check list yet? What things have you been ticking off? On This month we season are talking things our check list this wasall definitely towinter. start eating and getting Manyhealthy of us struggle withoutthe side more. winter cold and the fight to get out of bed in the morning. So we all need that With months additionthat we have addonethis thing. Something makes us edjump touches of spring and tips for the up out of bed to start the day. Bring coming seasons. back the excitement and think about what it is for you. We would love to hear from you ladies, we value your feedback and support. Finally keep your eyes and ears peeled this month, as we have some exciting Stay Fabulous news, events and changes happening. Taylah You will not want to miss it. Subscribe to Editor our newsletters and Facebook page to keep update to date with everything APM. Be Kind, Courageous and Confident, Taylah Parker Editor
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Happiness Looks Good on Your
A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 14
CONTENTS
6 APM Women In Spotlight
JOANNE CLARK A PEACEFUL MIND
Issue 14
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10 The Truth About Manifestation
Maree eddIngs ENERGY
12 The art of Collaborative Leadership
helen treloar BUSINESS
16 Why Do High Achieving women often struggle with their weight?
AVRIL CARPENTER WEIGHT PSYCHOLOGY
16 It’s Never About Time
PENNY VOTZOURAKIS CUSTOMER SERVICE
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20 Cauliflower Rice
Hayley martIn NUTRITION
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22 Going Along for the Ride
JOANNE CLARK NLP 26 Need A Recipe for Happiness
LIsa wIkIng
MOTIVATIONAL LEADERSHIP 30 Festive Season Helpful Hints
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BECKIE WHITE STYLIST
32 How Halloween Gave Me Peace of Mind
soap box
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HELEN TRELOAR 34 When Nothing is Sure; Everything
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GUEST WRITER
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WILHELMINA FORD
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Our apm writers
Lisa Wiking
A leadership expert, speaker and published author.
Hayley Martin Nutritional advice, recipes & wellness articles to elevate your health
Maree Eddings Exploring energy and how it flows or blocks your personal power
Helen Treloar Business & Leadership tips & articles for SME & start-ups
Avril Carpenter Are you ready to make peace with food and live the delicious life your soul is craving? specialises in the psychology behind weight issues.
Penny Votzourakis Customer service advice to grow sales and client loyalty
Lena Turvey Productivity and organisation queen bringing you tips and techniques
Beckie White Style your wardrobe & your life using Beckie’s secrets & suggestions
Julie Bourke Technology is in everyone’s life! Julie helps you use it and protect it well
Joanne Clark Bringing you NLP Success Principles through ‘Women in History’ pieces
Pippa Hanson Be inspired by Pippa’s personal journey as a business owner, mother and wife
Suzi Petrozzi Her dedication to personal development inspires her to keep growing and living a present, purposeful and powerful life.
She leaves a little
Sparkle wherever
she goes
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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 14
This month we are shining the spotlight on Joanne Clark from Destiny Pursuit Coaching & Training. With 8 years in her business her philosophy is “Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice.” (Connell Gavigan Weaving). In addition, Joanne stands by the follow statements: • Transform your results • Take control • Connect your potential to your personal power • Pursue your destiny • Be the difference you want to see
Joanne loves to work with someone who is a professional woman or a business owner, juggling career and family, who strives to be the best she can. With someone who loves to learn, grow and develop but find it a struggle to find enough time to fit everything in. Who remains curious about new possibilities knowing there is always more to learn. Who has great compassion for others and bring a servant’s heart to all that they do. And continues to be inspired by other women. WHAT WAS THE MAIN DRIVER THAT COMPELLED YOU TO START YOUR OWN BUSINESS?
APM Women IN BUSINESS
SPOTLIGHT
Joanne Clark | NLP 6
Two big changes in my life were looming – the first was having my youngest child (number 4) finish secondary school and moving into her life as a young adult. The second was my employer relocating from Melbourne to Geelong and I had to choose – do I relocate with them or …. A real cross roads moment! As I reflected on my professional life I noticed that whilst I had always enjoyed my career, even when it was challenging, there were definitely some stand out high lights for me. And I began to
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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 14 wonder, what it was about those special times, those fulfilling, exciting, satisfying times that had filled me with pure joy – because I more of that! So definitely wanted here I was at the cross roads with both the time and the means to choose a life that I could build – a life that was filled with me doing what I loved – so in the end it was a bit of a no brainer really, all I had to do was seize the day. WHAT DO YOU MOST LOVE ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS? Whilst at the cross roads reflecting I discovered that what I truly loved was transforming dreams into reality – sometimes it is having a person discover that they still have dreams and then sharing some of the journey with them as they reveal the path that they can follow to make that dream real. I love being a catalyst for a person as they rediscover their trust in themselves and ultimately connect with their own magnificence and self-love. HOW YOU DID YOU KNOW THIS WAS THE BUSINESS AREA THAT YOU WANTED TO THRIVE IN? When I stopped looking outwards for the answers and instead looked in – I could see the stand out moments, hear the acknowledgements and appreciation and feel totally fulfilled knowing the contribution I had the privilege of being able to make to other human beings - I knew with total certainty that making what I loved doing into my life’s purpose would of course be a thriving business for me. WHAT HAVE BEEN THE BIGGEST CHALLENGES THAT YOU HAVE ENCOUNTERED RUNNING YOUR OWN BUSINESS? At the start – doing everything myself – even the things that I totally suck at! I would grossly underestimate the time a task would require to complete and consequently I ended up with reams DO lists that were and reams of TO
just never going to get done on time! A serious dose of REALITY checking was required – after all there still was only 24 hours in a day.
WHAT DO YOU MOST LOVE ABOUT BEING A WOMAN? Having the power to create life – and nurture it. I believe this gives me a deep connection to all people as I know they too have a mother who like me created and nurtured them to the best of her ability. IN THE WORK THAT YOU DO WHAT ARE THE MOST COMMON CHALLENGES THAT YOU FIND YOUR CLIENTS COME TO YOU WITH? The most common challenge is their mistaken belief that their FEELINGS mean they are OK/not OK, broken and/or damaged, and/or a failure, and/or not good enough, and/or not lovable - and that only someone else or something else will fix them. This belief gives away their personal power making them dependent on others. HOW DO YOU HELP PEOPLE WITH THESE CHALLENGES? YOU CAN INCLUDE ANY STEPS OR PROCESS THAT YOU USE FOR YOUR SOLUTION IN HERE. First – we connect with each other and explore how the challenge is showing up in your life. What effect does it have on your health, relationships, goals, dreams, energy, business/career? Second -get really clear about the patterns that come with the challenges – what are the words, the thinking patterns, the physiology, the breathing? And bring those patterns into conscious awareness so you can notice how the patterns in the challenge work. Third - we explore how you want it to be instead – focusing on what is desired rather than what you don’t want.
I use Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) strategies to uncover with you the decisions, events, attitudes, beliefs or values that form the foundation for the problem/challenge you are dealing with and where required clear any obstacles or history that is interfering with the present. Throughout this journey you are deciding the direction, the strategies, the speed and the changes you believe will best serve you in making the changes you want. And finally to embed these changes into your life every day I recommend you join me for NLP Practitioner Training. WHY IS IT IMPORTANT THAT WE ASPIRE FOR EMPOWERMENT? I believe we all are empowered – it is just sometimes we forget how to use it to serve us well. When we connect into our own personal power we are able to make decisions that sustain us, care for our wellbeing and then choose who else we care for. Empowerment means having the capacity to give and receive – to contribute to ourselves and others and it is in this exchange of inspiration and aspiration that we sustain, nurture and grow ourselves and others. WHAT IS YOUR ADVICE TO SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO BE MORE EMPOWERED? WHERE SHOULD THEY START? To rediscover your empowerment and nurture its resilience I recommend beginning with compassion – starting with yourself – give yourself the time and the space to be a Human Being rather than a Human Doing. Bring yourself into the moment and experience NOW. Remember life
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is unfolding never ending moments of now – the past is over, the future is a daydream. Being empowered is being connected to the PRESENT. Then learn the tools that unlock your personal potential which means you have control over your own Destiny – Complete the NLP Practitioner training program – in just 7 days, I promise it will enable your personal empowerment even years later. You can book directly into Joanne’s trainings and events on line. events at: Join www.destinypursuit.com.au/events/ For coaching: • Contact me via email: joanne@destinypursuit.com.a u • Phone: 0420305989 • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Des tinyPursuit/ Join Joanne at the Destiny by Design day - A day where you can Unlock your personal power - my gift to you. In Geelong on Saturday 12 November – bookings essential http://destinypursuit.com.au/event/ destiny-by-design-training-ingeelong/
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One Love Heart One Destiny Bob Marley
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For some people the word manifestation is a woo woo term that people who believe in angels and fairies use. It has little to no meaning and is a way they get to live in a fantasy world by believing that things happen by magic….. You know I used to think something similar to that as well. It is such a big word that is quite ungrounded you can’t quite get your head around it. The truth there is nothing magic about it.
THE TRUTH ABOUT MANIFESTATION MAREE EDDINGS ⏐ E N E R G Y 10
Every single person on this planet manifests everyday, including you. The challenge that humans can have with manifestation is that it is a total mirror to what is actually going on with you. There is no place to hide. So to really tap into your manifestation ‘power’ you need accept that you are 100% responsible for your reality. So how does it work? The good news, it is simpler that you realise and it is always on. It never closes shop. Let’s look at the from a process perspective so we can de bunk the ‘magic’ theory. (I will say though once you get more aware of what is blocking your manifesting process some things seem to appeared like magic but that’s a side note.)
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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 14 Manifesting simply translated is when you want to bring anything into physical form. Anything you want to bring into physical form you manifest. When the things you wish and hope for do not manifest is it because you have a block in your manifesting process. See simple. Everything that is manifest goes through a specific and deliberate process whether you are aware of it or not. 1. It starts with an idea or inspiration, 2. You visualise and imagine it, 3. You start to verbalise and talk about it and see how it sounds, 4. You then tap into how you feel about it and does it feel okay, 5. Then you move to a what does this mean for me decision and 6. If all is still on track and aligning, you then go into the what will this be like when it is actually happening and 7. Finally you actually do the things that need to be done to make it physical. This process happens every time all of the time. When your ‘thing’ stops at any of these stages it does not manifest. Simple. There is nothing more or less to it. Manifesting is a whole person job. It does not happen in your mind or only in your heart ALL OF YOU needs to be involved. It is fuelled by energy and the process directly flows through your main energy centres known as your CHAKRAS.
1. Start with what is obvious, the things that keep happening over and over again. That is a sure sign of an old belief or behavioural pattern that is blocking the process. 2. Where does your body feel tight? Each chakra corresponds to a different part of your body. Tension and tightness indicates a blocked chakra. Take note of recurring tension in the same place. 3. People who trigger you. This one will help you get closer to a deeper block that could be stopping lots of different manifesting processes.
Your body is literally your manifesting machine…….all of it all of the time. Check it out. 1. It starts with an idea or inspiration, CROWN CHAKRA 2. You visualise and imagine it, THIRD EYE CHAKRA 3. You start to verbalise and talk about it and see how it sounds, THROAT CHAKRA 4. You then tap into how you feel about it and does it feel okay, HEART CHAKRA 5. Then you move to a what does this mean for me decision and SOLAR PLEXUS 6. If all is still on track and aligning, you then go into the what will this be like when it is actually happening and SACRAL CHAKRA 7. Finally you actually do the things that need to be done to make it physical. BASE CHAKRA
There you go the truth about manifestation and ways you can tell if your manifestation process needs some clearing. If you would like to know more about your energy chakra system and how you can improve your manifesting – translation live with more ease and grace, drop me a line at maree@backtome.com and I can give you some easy next steps.
So what blocks your manifestation process? Your thinking and beliefs do. Old beliefs, vows (super beliefs) and habits keep you stuck and your manifesting mojo goes on the fritz. If you want to improve your manifesting ability you need to clear you energy system out. This includes understanding what is currently stuck in each chakra, and clear them out. Here are three things to be aware of:
Keep manifesting and have fun.
Maree
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THE ART OF COLLABORATIVE
LEADERSHIP Helen Treloar – Business A HIGHLY ENGAGING LEADERING WILL BE THE MASTER OF COLLABORATION "Collaboration" is indeed the buzz word of the moment. However, collaboration is only one component of successful Leadership and there is a danger when it is mis-used. Let's start collaboration.
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defining
A white paper on the subject of Collaborative Leadership from Oxford Leadership says... "By collaborative leadership, we mean the process of engaging collective intelligence to deliver results across organisational boundaries when ordinary mechanisms of control are absent." The starting place here is therefore is in understanding what the present mechanisms of control are. For example; it would look something like this; When it our buyer does this, triggers that, and we analyse the outcome this way and report it here. These are mechanisms of control in a process model.
In a human behavioural model, it might look something like: We do that, this way. In order to change the way we do that, there needs to be a process of collaborative input from each
appropriate sector of the business. This is part of our quarterly review process, and you will be invited to participate, as defined appropriate by the business. You will participate by speaking to the aspects of the review that are within your sector's responsibilities. So where does collaboration belong in this sampled model? Well, it can be in the review of outcomes stage, where a team from each appropriate sector of the business comes together to determine if the outcomes are the best outcomes for the business and where they could be improved: sales, production, delivery, service, profit, branding... In my opinion, using practical experience, collaboration works best when given a specific purpose. In the given sample above, the group coming together is focused upon a number of review points. They are looking at everything from pre-sales through to after sales service. The gap within which this group is being directed to work is extremely wide. If instead, the Leader broke the total sum into its critical parts, and then formed focused review groups to each stage, it would look a little like this... a) Purpose of product review. Why do we have this product in our range? b) Who is our key buyer? c) What problem does it solve for the
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buyer? d) Who else is now providing this solution? e) Is it a total solution or a part solution?... The collaboration comes in at every stage of the process. It starts with the Leader setting an outcome for the group and then empowering them to navigate their way through to that outcome. The Leader should check that the people involved are appropriate, and they have access to all they need to deep-dive the review (resources, information etc.). In a business where collaboration is an over-use, the above model would instead look something like this... Let's all get together to discuss our products. I want everyone's ideas and input as to how we can improve our business outcomes. The floor is open for comment and you can submit your ideas in a number of formats (email, meet with your direct report, give me a buzz to discuss...). Whilst there is sound upsides to be had in seeking input for all employee's in an open-format, without steering the input, it can turn into chaos or worse still, apathy. Often, in this rather exaggerated, and yet often found, model of collaboration, there is lots of talk but very little ownership or action. Frustration levels in employee's rise, as they put ideas forward and see no response in action. The forward cost to this model is employees disengage and start to NOT collaborate - there's no evidence that it is a worthwhile experience. Worse still, levels of respect for the leadership drop.
There is a crucial part to collaboration in order for it to thrive in your organisation. The qualification of 'cost' of outcomes. Have you noticed how people tend to hoard or cling-on to their own ideas or 'way' of doing things, even in the presence of evidence that there is a 'better' way? Change management fundamental key to collaborative outcomes.
is a effective
Your people need to be trained, yes trained, to widen their paradigms of how they think about their methodologies, so they become comfortable with discomfort. They need to be in the habit of embracing change and seeking constant improvement. People say they are ok with this - but believe me, many are not when push comes to shove. Imagine this, you have honed your skills in baking bread. Over time, you have found that using a specific way of kneading your dough for a good 10 minutes will create a high-rise loaf that you and your family love to eat. In comes the Mother-in-Law. She shows you how her way of kneading, that has been used through family generations, will produce a much better loaf. Before you take on a new way, your mind wants to be supported from the now to the new. The internal mind-talk ranges from person to person... Julie thinks "I love that my mother-inlaw is showing care by handing down family recipes to me." Amie thinks "how rude, to come in and presume her loaf is better than mine." Josie thinks "I'll watch her and say the right things to be respectful but then keep with what I prefer." Peter thinks "If I wanted a better way I would have asked, I'm shutting this down and putting her in her place."
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We could go on, and on. This is the part that gets in the way of effective collaboration. Highly effective Leaders have learnt how to BE this model and TRAIN this model. It must be in the BEING first, if the organisation is to model congruently. The collaboration group will therefore add the question "who would be affected by this change?" to every session. Ideally, you would then ensure this group is added to the collaborative process. Give them a voice. Give them evidence that they have been heard. Collaboration is a new word for an old Leadership practice, for highly effective Leaders. It's about People. How a Leader makes their people feel matters more than almost anything else. Collaboration at its best is inclusive, without boundaries of what can be put forward, encouraging of 'outside the box' thinking, looped back to a purposeful outcome and constant. Leaders, I encourage you to seek training so you master the art of collaborative Leadership. Your employees will thank you and your profit line will reflect it.
Helen
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WHY DO HIGH ACHIEVING WOMEN OFTEN STRUGGLE WITH THEIR WEIGHT?
WEIGHT? AVRIL CARPENTER – Weight psychology
“How is it that I can be successful in my career, in control of every area of my life, but I really struggle when it comes to my weight?” It’s a very, very common frustration. Most clients I work with are stereotypical high flyers. Think résumés jam-packed with goals set, achieved, celebrated. For many of these women, their weight is the last piece of a very frustrating puzzle. So why doesn’t a weight loss goal work the same way, as say, a professional or sporting goal?
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There are a couple of essential differences.
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Harder + faster = quicker rewards With most goals, when you work harder, faster, and are more focused – you typically get quicker rewards. But long-term weight loss is the opposite. Long-term weight loss is more like a box of Christmas lights. You know when you locate them in December, in the box and tangled. The harder you pull at the knotted mess, the faster you try and untangle it, the tighter the knot gets. Grrrrrr! Two logical weight loss.
misconceptions
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The Law of Deprivation: Often with weight loss, our logic is “if cutting back a little helps me lose a little bit of weight, then cutting back a lot will speed things up, right?” Logical in theory – yes. But does it work? Nope. The very act of deprivation sends your incredibly wise body into the starvation response, which makes it even harder to shift the weight. And, the more you deprive yourself, the more unpleasant the journey becomes so you’re unlikely to stay the distance. Law of the Deadline: It’s common when goal setting to have a specific timeframe. A client last week told me, "I have four weeks to lose 12kgs for my cruise”. They thought that the urgency would spur them into action. But would it? Again, nope. Every day that ticks by – with the target looming closer – they begin panicking that they “haven’t made enough progress”, which leads to them quitting in exasperation. So, what’s the answer?
Go gently. It’s about creating a lifestyle that supports your wellbeing in the long term. Let’s go back to the tangled Christmas lights. Forget rushing, yanking and stressing, take the opposite approach. Slow down. Be patient. Gradually unravel the wires.
With patience and persistence, allow yourself to become the kind of person who manages their weight naturally by: 1. Abandoning deadlines and aiming for steady progress. Progress wins over perfection every day of the week. 2. Making small changes to your eating that you know you can and want to live with for the rest of your life. 3. Being patient. It might take longer than you thought, but it will be worth it. 4. Keeping on keeping on. When you stumble (because trust me you will – its’ ALL part of the process!) pick yourself up, put on your big girl knickers and keep on keeping on. The paradox of long-term weight loss is that going faster and pushing harder simply does NOT work. As difficult as it may be for the success-oriented high achiever in you, the answer is to go gently. PS: Ms High Achiever, if you’re sitting there reading this thinking, “I knooooooooooow all of this, I just don’t do it!” feel free to drop me a line and join the hundreds of smart, successful women who've become their happy shape and size with the virtual gastric band.
Avril Avril
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IT’S NEVER ABOUT TIME! PENNY VOTZOURAKIS - CUSTOMER SERVICE I hear daily, “I'm so busy, I don't have time, or I just can't manage it all because I don’t have time!” These are usually from people who are looking to start up a business. I call this a cop out! Sorry for being so frank so early. It's never about the time. We have time for the things that are important to us: our favourite show on TV, Google, Facebook, or Instagram, or our favourite game on our devices. We have time for those, but not enough time to do what is important. I watch so many people squander away their life's purpose or their dreams, all in the name of time. They justify it with, “I'm tired. I've been at work all day.” Or at home with the kids they say, “I'm now too tired to do anything about working on my business or going to that networking event that may get me that next client. I just don’t have time!” I guess there isn't a big enough WHY!
When you take away all the time you waste sitting on the couch watching TV, or on your commute listening to music instead of doing something that will help you grow, then you are not spending your time effectively. Overwhelming thoughts of fear and doubt set in. Then it all seems easier to stay the same and tell yourself, “I tried, though time just got in the way.” Take some time out of your day today to find your why. Go back to the moment when you decided you were going into business or wanted to change your career. How did you feel? What did you see and hear? Take that moment, and write down your why, your purpose, and what life would be like if you made time to achieve your life's purpose. Start to look at how you spend your time to see if it is moving you away or closer to your goals. When you come up with that time excuse again, keep your WHY close to you and feel, hear, and see what it would be like to live your life’s purpose. If it’s not about time, then what is it really about?
Penny V
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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 14
CCAULIFLOWER AULIFLOWER RICE
EAT CLEAN THIS SPRING
Hayley martin - true form health Photograph: Hayley Martin | True Form Health
Ingredients: • • •
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1 head cauliflower, chopped 2 tablespoons coconut oil Sea salt and black pepper to taste
What to do: 1. Place the chopped cauliflower florets into a food processor and pulse until the cauliflower has reduced into tiny pieces – the same size 2. as grains of rice (or chop by hand). 3. In a frying pan, heat the coconut oil over medium heat and lightly cook the cauliflower for about 4 – 6 minutes, or until softened. Season with salt and pepper to taste.
INSIDE GOODNESS Serve it where you would normally have rice - so much healthier for you and it takes a quarter of the time to cook! You can add garlic, chilli, other spices, seeds, nuts, herbs, meats, seafoods, vegetables, sauces... it's essentially a canvas for creation! To check out more recipes go to: www.trueformhealth.com.au
“Every day we make choices - we can either be “right” and cling on to how we believe things should be or, we can be flexible and get curious.”
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The Law of Requisite Variety - Behavioural Flexibility
Going along for the ride Daisy May Bates CBE (1859 – 1951)
Joanne Clark | NLP As the end of the year approaches – it is time for me to ‘get on my bike’. And I mean this both figuratively and literally! Every year for the last nine years I have joined the Great Victorian Bike Ride (GVBR) to cycle approximately 550 kms around different areas of Victoria with thousands of other cyclists. For nine days it is like being in another world. A world with a focus on reaching a destination, pitching a tent, eating, partying, sleeping, having fun and of course lots of pedalling, pedalling, pedalling. If you can imagine several thousand people suddenly thrown together to form an instant community – and it is a pretty up close and personal community with tents packed together, shared showers, toilets and crowded dinner tables I am sure you would recognise the need to bring loads of behavioural flexibility with you! The GVBR is definitely a time when I notice the value I get from applying the NLP Law of Requisite Variety. This ‘law’ says that the system/person with the most
flexibility of behaviour will control the system – which in this case means managing myself, my reactions and responses. On the ride there is such a diverse collection of humanity and for some it is immediately clear that they arrive with set expectations or rules about how the day should progress, what should happen and especially what other people should/should not be doing. They approach their everyday challenges with a stiffness or rigidity and endeavour to force the external environment to fit in with their preconceived ideas. Whether its rain, heat or wind, or the challenge of waiting in the queue for a shower or finding a table to sit at to eat a meal, invariably they are tested, and invariably they end up frustrated, indignant or even outright angry! Because they know their way is the right way. Sadly they pay a high price for their need to be right - missing out on the fun, the camaraderie, the support and encouragement to overcome the challenges.
In stark contrast the vast majority of riders greet each day with a sense of curiosity – they may have a general plan but … if conditions change then so do their plans. These riders bring with them an enormous capacity for behavioural flexibility and as a result they can explore and discover new experiences, learn from each other and notice things that the others have missed….
DAISY MAY BATES Early in the 20th century Daisy May Bates certainly showed enormous behavioural flexibility when she willingly chose to forego personal comforts and went to live amongst the Aboriginals as she studied their life, culture and heritage. Having migrated from Ireland at the age of 24 she lived in country New South Wales and Queensland for many years. After a number of unsuccessful marriages she returned to England where she worked as a journalist for newspapers and magazines. As she planned her return to Australia in 1899, Daisy read a letter published in The Times
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that made her aware of atrocities being committed against Aboriginals in north-west Australia. She immediately wrote to The Times offering to make a full investigation on their behalf and report to them – an offer that they accepted. Upon her return to Australia Daisy was no doubt excited by her new found purpose. She set off using whatever means at her disposal (often donkeys and camels) and ventured across deserts and ranges through places few whites had seen, and made her way to the Trappist mission at Beagle Bay near Broome. Here she revelled in her first lengthy stay with Aboriginals while working at their remote settlement and began her first serious inquiries into Aboriginal culture and language. Her immense curiosity and observations were relatively unclouded by the then predominant views of Aboriginals in Australia. Daisy’s immense behavioural flexibility allowed her to be immersed within the Beagle Bay mission where she had the privilege of learning about laws, especially in the community’s
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relation to family interactions and relationships, which led her to investigate their familial ties, learn their language and enabled her to be amongst the first white people to witness their sacred rituals. Daisy was a real ground-breaker! As a result of her tremendous work, in 1904 Daisy was appointed by the Western Australia government to research the tribes of the state. She quickly set about recording data on language, myth, religion, and kinship. In a revolutionary paper on marriage customs, she uncovered new truths about the ceremony and its meaning. The Aboriginal communities gifted Daisy with great insights into their life, customs and culture. Her publication of this vast anthropological knowledge enabled a deeper understanding of the people and their culture to be available to others. It also challenged the popular and prevalent myth that Aboriginal people were mere animals, fauna in the Australian landscape.
In 1912, Daisy became the first woman ever to be appointed Honorary Protector of Aborigines at Eucla. Living amongst the Aboriginals and looking after them then became her life’s purpose. Over most of the next 30 years she tended the sick and elderly, the injured and frail and assisted them back to health or dignified endings, contributing in whatever way possible. Throughout this period, Daisy also continued to write. Her accounts were published in journals and papers around the world and heralded as great, and often controversial works. When the Commonwealth National Library came to collect her words, they took away 99 boxes of valuable literature destined to demystify Aboriginal culture. Additionally, her autobiography, My Natives and I, was written and serialised. Daisy’s vast and detailed works created a shift not only in perception of the original Australians, but even more importantly it served to undermine the efforts of white men who continued to marginalise them and justify the cruel and harsh policies and the frequent atrocities inflicted on them. Throughout her time with Aboriginals, Daisy’s work succeeded in illustrating their humanity. Her capacity to adapt to their lifestyle and learn their languages demonstrated the enormous value behavioural flexibility brings when endeavouring to learn, discover and research. Daisy Bates led a controversial and adventurous life. Not only did she choose to cross the world twice on
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her own, she also travelled where few had been throughout remote Western Australia and lived her life amongst the Aboriginal communities in both Western and South Australia. Her pursuit of knowledge and understanding in the often harsh conditions of the outback, with the critical responses she often faced from officialdom, and her efforts to communicate the complex lives of the indigenous peoples of remote Australia to the world required her to constantly demonstrate enormous behavioural flexibility – what NLP calls the Law of Requisite Variety. Like Daisy Bates, every day we make choices - we can either be “right” and cling on to how we believe things should/must be or, we can be flexible and get curious. I know each year as I set off on the GVBR where each day brings unexpected challenges and delightful surprises – I have a choice – bring along my baggage of expectations, shoulds and should nots or go for the ride, adapting, changing and being flexible enough to learn, grow and savour the diversity of each day.
Daisy Bates chose to go along for the ride, and her tireless work resulted in her receiving the title she coveted most from her community – Kabbarli, meaning grandmotherly person. She, like so many Australian women, rejected constraints of others expectations and rules - instead pursuing her own path, doing what she believed was right. Her unusual and somewhat controversial approach to life, persistent work and meticulously recorded research left a great legacy that served to plant seeds of understanding between Aboriginal and non-aboriginal Australians. Jump on your bike and … Make today your day
Joanne Daisy May Bates created a Commander of the Order of the British Empire by King George V 1934
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NEED A RECIPE FOR HAPPINESS? H E R E I T I S …… Lisa Wiking ⏐ MOTIVATIONAL Leadership How do you achieve true ‘unshakeable’ happiness? How do you discover and live your passion? How do you achieve success in all areas of your life? These questions are some of the biggest questions we can ask ourselves. Knowing the process to discover the answers to these questions will determine the degree of happiness. Have you ever thought to stop and ask yourself, ‘What’s important to you?” I mean what is it that’s really important to you? Sure, your family and friends and maybe your job or business is important to you, but what’s really important to you in the context of your life? What principles are important to you or what are your behavioural standards? Success and happiness in life is determined by your clarity around the answers to these questions. This list of things that are most important to you is called your list of ‘Values’. What do you value most in life or a specific area of life.
Your list of values finger print, no one planet will have the values as you do. makes you unique.
is like your else on this same list of That’s what That’s what
makes you special and that’s what makes you ‘you’. When you take the time to sit down and work them out, life becomes clearer. The great thing is there is no right or wrong with this, because it’s uniquely yours. It can be as simple as asking yourself the question “What’s important to me in the context of …(specific area of life)….” The 6 specific areas of life that you can elicit your values in are: Career Family Relationships Personal Growth and Development Health and Fitness Spirituality You can also elicit your values in the context “of Life” to discover and understand what’s most important to you overall. If you are behaving, making decisions based on and acting according to anything other than your top 3-4 values, whether it be someone elses values, what you think is right or should be done, then that’s when you’ll require a heap of force and push to get things done and you’re not likely to achieve success and happiness, even if you do it wont be sustainable.
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Success and happiness in life and in each of these specific areas of your life will be the clarity you determined by have around your values in this area. If you behave, make decisions based on and act according to the top 3 or 4 values, then you will most likely be inspired and achieve success and happiness, it will feel like you are in ‘flow’ in that particular area of your life. Which means you wont need to force yourself to take action, you will be inspired to. If you don't know your highest values, then how can you expect to know how to behave or what decisions to make? This lack of clarity often leaves you confused, overwhelmed, frustrated or simply lost without direction and therefore failing to achieve success or happiness? The great thing is that your overall happiness is determined by how well you live according to your highest values. If you know your highest priority values and make all decisions, choose behaviour and actions based on these top values then you’ll achieve happiness and success. Now you know this, all that’s left to do is discover them. As I mentioned above, you can do this by asking yourself the
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simple question ‘What’s important to me in the context of…(specific area)….?’ You must do this over and over again until you don't know the answer, and then push yourself to find another answer. Once you do, then do it again, when you get to not knowing then push yourself again. Then you will have your list of most important Values. Finally you must ensure they are in the right order. You can prioritise them by starting at the bottom of the list and asking does this value support and uphold the value above. Do this until you get to the top. Ensuring that the answer is yes each time. If it’s not, then rearrange them so the answer is yes. If you’d like to experience a complimentary Values Elicitation session, then please email me at lisa@motivationalleadership.com. au and we can work out the details or if you’d like to fast track then click on or go to https://calendly.com/motivationall eadership/complimentary-valueselicitation-session/10-17-2016 to book your time. I wish you all the best in discovering your own personal recipe for success!
Lisa Wiking
Motivational Leadership
www.leadershipskillsreducethebills.com
ph: +61 420 305 989 | www.destinypursuit.com.au
coaching & training
Contact joanne@destinypursuit. com.au a few places are available for the next training - 7 Days to be a Practitioner of NLP. Register now at pages.destinypursuit.com/nlp-apm If you are ready for more you can also take your training to the next level in Joanne’s 10 day Master Practitioner training. Register at destinypursuit.com.au/events.php
WWW.DESTINYPURSUIT.COM.AU
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SPARKLE THIS SEASON....7 FESTIVE TIPS TO HAVE YOU LOOKING YOUR BEST
FESTIVE SEASON HELPFUL HINTS
BECKIE⏐StylIst I love this time of year. Race meetings, Christmas parties, gatherings, functions, fund raisers, girls lunches and family fun . Its an extremely busy time of year and to top it all off we all want to look our best. I’m curious ladies........which type of woman are you? Calm Catherine who is organised and relaxed ? Do you plan your outfits ahead of time? Having the outfit hanging in your wardrobe ready to wear a week out from the event. On the day you lay the outfit out on your bed adorned with all your accessories. You peacefully get ready or maybe you’ve booked into the hairdresser for a B/W. Your baby sitter arrives early or better still you’ve dropped the kids of earlier in the day and have had an afternoon of pampering. Whilst getting ready you engage in a civil conversation with your partner and together you walk out the door ready and relaxed looking fabulous for a fun night ahead socialising.
Or Crazy Catie who is and manic?
Stressed
Do you fly by the seat of your pants? All of a sudden you panic when you realise you have ½ hour to get ready and out the door. Its been a manic day your baby sitter has just phoned and she’s running late. AHHHHHH, your rushing to get ready and whilst your trying to do your hair to look like you’ve just stepped out of salon the kids are tugging at your legs wanting attention. You run to the wardrobe with an attachment at the hip only to discover OMG you have nothing to wear!!! Your hormones start to kick and what before seemed like a hot flush is now feeling like a volcano erupting....BREATH.... You then frantically pluck out several outfits to discover 2 don’t fit any more and 1 needs a wash. Then out of the corner of your eye an angel is here to help and you some how amongst the mess spot your trusty old favourite LBD. Yay relief. You are now running 10 minutes late and as you run out the door what you think is your clutch is still your child!!! You pass over your child as you greet the BB sitter in
the driveway, jump in the car and wonder why you feel like you’ve just run a 42 k marathon. Your partner tries to strike up a conversation and all you can manage is mush whilst putting on lippy!! However by the time you reach your destination you are looking fabulous and ready for round two. WOW.... I am feeling a little puffed from writing about scenario two. How are you after reading it? Here’s the funny thing. I’m not sure about you BUT relate to BOTH of these women. I have good Days and bad days. I be be ‘Calm Catherine’ and ‘Crazy Catie’ all in one day – actually I can be both sometime in the same sentence!!!! The good news is that as your stylist Im here to support you through your bad and celebrate with you through the good. Women we are human!!!! Our lives are busy. I trust my 7 helpful tricks will see you looking fabulous and organised this festive season.
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TIP 1: Be a Mrs Doubtfire....get organised! Put all your events on a whole family to see calender for the and be aware of.
TIP 2: I don’t know about you but I always love my hair to look good especially for parties. So book in immediately if you haven’t already. This is a hairdressers busiest time of the year so get in early to avoid disappointment. To ease the stress of pre party dressing up book a Blow wave on the day of the party. TIP 3: For those of you who know me well I am the’ Queen of Shellac.’ This fabulous invention sees my nails looking party ready for 14days. I never have to worry. Its a chip free, dry instantly solution to perfects nails all the time. Nails are the hottest accessory! TIP 4: Remember Perfume is the hidden accessory. There’s nothing more enchanting than a woman who’s fragrance lingers through out the night. So give yourself a couple of squirts before heading out. TIP 5: Tis the season to DELEGATE. Too many of women think we can do it all. Why do we take on this wonder woman approach? I love Dannii Minogues Quote “ We can have it all. We just cant do it all”. As girlfriends share the love, help each other out. If someone is looking stressed offer your assistance. The world is a better place with smiley faces.
TIP 6 : FUNK IT UP..... rather than buying new clothing pieces all the time. Dress up an old favourite or share dresses around with other girlfriends. 2016 is all about the accessory! Whether its a stack of bangles, statement earrings , bold necklaces or bright coloured shoes, these all change the style of any outfit. Another great way to dress up an old favourite is to buy a new lipstick colour.Accessories are a smart way to shop. TIP 7: Become a MAGICIAN when dressing...Yes im talking about Illusion Dressing. Always choose clothing that flatters your shape BEFORE you choose for colour. Use VERTICAL stripes to create a long slender appearance. Use HORIZONTAL lines to create curve or width.Darker colours are generally more slimming, but you have other options. Try charcoal, gunmetal, grey, oyster, navy, royal blue, dark chocolate and ink. With these fabulous tips you will be able to sparkle all the way and your style will appear effortless. Have an season.
accessory
Stylishly yours
Beckie
filled
festive
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After the shopping was done and the costume cut to fit, I settle into the cup cakes. 2 hours later, they are done. Where did the time go? Making cup cakes isn't necessarily something that I love, but cake decorating is something that gives me an enormous amount of joy. Thinking up designs, mixing coloured icing, adding just enough detail to make the cakes come alive... it all takes focus, effort and time. And yet it feels like a meditation to me. Whilst creating the finished look, I get lost in the process and I relax and unwind and my head is filled with only creative thoughts. The icing on the cake (pardon the pun) is that the end result usually brings so much joy to others too. A win win outcome.
HOW HALLOWEEN GAVE ME PEACE OF MIND A Peaceful Mind Can Be Found Anywhere
Soul Food for you
I had chatted with a girlfriend earlier in the week about 'mindfulness' and how the world has jumped onto the band wagon and it's now a commercial reality found in Typo, Kikki-K and beyond. For me, it doesn't really matter what the label is, or how popular or commercial it may be, if 'it' does the job of bringing peace to anyone's mind - I'm in! Cake decorating, for me, is an act of mindfulness.
My youngest son, who was so excited to finally get involved with his friends in Halloween and do dressups and knock the doors of the streets in our area who are part of a community event, reeled me in hook, line & sinker this year.
This Sunday's Soul Food - feed your soul! Do what makes you happy and brings peace to your mind - and do it often. A Peaceful Mind comes from purposeful living, or as the in-word of the moment states, living 'mindfully'.
A trip to the local $2 shop for a ghost outfit and my 'go to' cup cake recipe brought out with a request to 'make them more Halloween please Mum!"
You are a vessel of pure potential; the only person who can realise that potential is YOU x
I can't say that Halloween is a date on my calendar!
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Coach Out
“you are a vessel of pure potential; the only person who can realize that potential
is you!�
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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 14
Wilhelmina Ford ⏐ GUEST WRITER
WHEN NOTHING IS SURE; EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE. 34
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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 14 To say that I have overcome challenges in my life seems like a statement which is final and so the have ended. I still to this challenges day overcome challenges. We all do, on many different levels. The challenges I have overcome have been predominantly physical, financial and emotional and on totally separate occasions and years apart. The underlying message I have learnt is that “when nothing is sure, everything is possible”. It has kept me going and keeps me going through these minor and major times in my life, in the times when I feel like I am struggling the most. The message itself is not some magic formula for getting through challenges, I must be clear that it takes patience with oneself and an inner belief that it is so true that there is no argument, no matter how bad things get. For me, I found it is about retraining my mind to believe it. Let me put it this way. It’s not about what you do, its about what you think and with results being a function of your behaviour and your mindset and attitude being determined by your behaviour and those expectations being determined by your selfconcept; your self-concept and the way you speak to yourself about yourself, your life and others greatly determines your life and how you deal with challenges within it. In a way I almost convinced myself that when nothing is sure, everything is possible. So to me, this means that I cannot fall any lower, things cannot get any worse, they can only get better and better means however I want it to be. Then I drive myself forward to re-invent, re-evaluate and re-condition what I am about and what the challenge is about. In 2008 I wanted to race dirt bikes. They were my passion (still
are to this day). I trained and rode as much as I could and in one training session I had an accident and broke my left pelvis and shattered my right hip and totally destroyed my bike. I found myself in a wheelchair, unable to function normally, back at home with Mum and my dog and the challenge of learning how to move, walk, shower, go to the toilet (and the list goes on), by myself without help. So began, it seemed, a bit of a self pity party, of losing my job, losing my freedom, having to move home, having no money, no social life and no bike or ability to ride. It seemed like a pretty “deep black hole” to me, it felt like everything that was worth anything was gone and lost. I was literally starting from scratch. And after a few weeks of feeling sorry for myself then getting bored of feeling sorry for myself I started going to my physical therapy classes and improving bit by bit. I got the knack of using a wheelchair, I had friends come over with videos and mags and have a laugh and after more weeks I wondered what I could do to occupy my mind because I was getting very bored. I looked for dog walkers to walk my dog so she could be entertained cause I wasn’t able to do that for her. I found how little the dog industry had in terms of services and as I looked more into it I saw a gap for people who had dogs, but little time and noticed how in other countries, they were doing a thing called 'dog daycare'... so I researched that! Over the months I spent a lot of time getting physically better, researching dog daycare and I even started working from home for my mum part time in her financial planning business. At the end of 2008, instead of finding a job part time as I was able to move and walk around, I did a business plan for a dog daycare and gave this to Mum and asked for her to go over it with a proposal of starting it at her place, on her land. She liked it and agreed to it and now, 2014 I have expanded my business, 'Doggy Pause' twice and I
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live on 27 acres on The Central Coast of NSW and operate a very successful and well-known boarding establishment that offers a daycare environment for dogs. I also spend every day with Roxy, my beautiful dog. I created this business from nothing, with nothing and a simple determination and belief that I can make something out of nothing. In 2010 I met my now ex husband. I thought he was THE one and so in 2011 we got married and by 2012 we were separated and close to a divorce. This was a challenge that was both very emotional and expensive. He left me, mainly because we argued a lot about Doggy Pause because it was still being built up and I was spending a lot of time on it, but also because he didn’t like where we lived (rural) and he was used to having a Mother that would cook, clean, pick up after him and I wasn’t that type of wife! So, it was a heartbreaking battle to feel like I was abandoned and for him to threaten me saying I cost him his dreams cause he followed me and my dreams and I owe him compensation and it turned bitter. For me, I blamed myself in the
beginning and struggled to continue my daily life but as he got meaner and meaner and I contemplated an AVO and wondered how I would get him to leave me alone, my Auntie said to me … 'its wood and materials, give him compensation because at the end of the day, no matter if he didn’t pay a cent to help he can do more damage to you emotionally than if you give him everything'. So I did. I sat in my house, which my business paid for, with my dog and a bottle of wine and looked around. I had given him everything, every piece of furniture, material possession and jewellery that I had purchased over the time we had known each other, because he wanted compensation for his failed dreams... and I cried. I cried for the loss, I cried for the pain I felt, I cried because he has given up so easily and I cried because I had no idea what to do next, except go to work the next day and continue on. Doggy Pause kept me sane and again, so did Roxy. With Doggy Pause and Roxy and after the tears from that night had that 'when dried, remembering nothing is sure, everything is possible', I rebuilt and I am where I am today. Two years on and I haven’t looked back. I have made Doggy Pause even better, with two full time staff. I have the house with the furniture I want, a harmonious one at that and a new man who is the complete opposite of my ex, all because I was sitting on the floor with nothing … When really, that night … I had everything, but I just didn’t know it.
Julie
Wilhelmina Ford. Doggy Pause.
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CHARITY APM has founded a charity specifically to bring opportunity to Australian Women and Children. 2BMe Foundation raises funds to connect those who are focused and committed to improving their own life circumstances, to the resources that enable them to do so. www.2bmefoundation.org.au We look forward to bringing you more news about what we are doing and how you might get involved very soon.
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