AUTHORS Maintaining Balance in a Woman's Multifaceted Life Ifeoma Chuks-Adizue, NIGERIA Is there Balance with Multi identities of Women ?
女性的多重身份是否平衡？ Jian Yu CHINA
3 Attitudes to be More Successful 3 Actitudes Para Tener Mas Éxito Marilyn Martinez SPAIN
Thriving Amidst Multiple Demanding Roles : Helpful Tips for Women Chinenye Ajayi NIGERIA
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Introduction..........................................................................................................................06 . Maintaining Balance in a Woman's Multifaceted Life...................................................07
Is there Balance with Multi Identities of Women?.......................................................................11
女性的多重身份是否平衡？ ..................................................................................................................14 3 Attitudes to be More Successful.................................................................................................17
3 Actitudes Para Tener Mas Éxito.................................................................................................22
Thriving Admit Multiple Demanding Roles: Helpful Tips for Women........................27
MAINTAINING BALANCE IN A WOMAN'S MULTIFACETED LIFE By: Ifeoma Chuks-Adizue NIGERIA Thank you, Dr Ariel King and the entire team at Ariel Foundation for inviting me as Keynote Speaker to this meeting with the topic- The Multifaceted Life of a Woman. Is there a balance? Interestingly, when I started my journey in working with women to live life in an uncommon way, one of the first articles I wrote was titled - The 21st Century Woman: A Typical Case of Multiple Role Disorder. It was all about showing that despite the multiple roles we are saddled with as women, a clear understanding of who we are and our core role in life could lead us to great success. Though at that time, I had very little proof of this in my life, I truly believed that women including career women could be great at work, grow in their careers, be excellent pillars in their homes whilst even birthing other purpose-inspired expressions
of
themselves
for
personal
fulfilment.
Today,
the
proofs
are
overwhelming, as over the last decade, I have not only grown significantly in my career, birthed and grown other purpose-inspired pursuits, but I have done this as a wife and mom of 3 young children. To note, I started this journey when my first son was 3 years old and my last child was a few months old. So, back to the topic for today – The Multifaceted Life of a Woman. Is there a balance? Yes, there is. HOWEVER, the more pertinent question is – Can there be growth AND balance across all facets of a Woman’s life? That for me, is the million-dollar question. To this million-dollar question, I also say a very emphatic YES, not only because I have seen it manifest in my life but also because, I have seen it in the lives of a growing number of women who are crazy enough to believe it is possible and committed enough to pursue it.
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Today, I would like to share with you THREE tips that can help you achieve this in your life if you are ready to do the work. First things first though, it is important to note that achieving balance and growth as a woman across all areas of your life will not happen overnight. Just as a muscle needs to be exercised regularly to build strength and capacity, the continued application of these tips I am about to share will help increase your capability to BE more, DO more and ACHIEVE more across all facets of your life. Ready? Tip #1 – Do What You Love. Your greatest potential for accelerated growth and possibility of greatest fulfilment lies in doing what you love, what you are good at and what is in demand. Dig deep to identify this thing or these things; and start focusing time on them. For example, I am passionate about growth, specifically growing businesses and women. It makes me come alive. I do this as a full-time role for an organization as a Commercial Director. However, I have also found myself teaching women especially career women how to achieve all-round growth - as an individual created with a purpose, as a professional and as a wife and mom. Is this tasking and highly demanding? Indeed, it is BUT because I am doing what I love and comes easily to me, it’s really a joy! Question for you today - What do you love to do and do so well, people even come to you for help on it? What is that thing you can be woken up in the middle of the night to do and you would happily get up? How can you touch even more lives with it?
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Tip #2 – Use Your Time Wisely Have a time-scarcity mindset. Treat your time with value. Have a daily to-do list that is borne out from your all-round life goals; and be focused in ticking off as many actions as possible every day with a key focus on the bigger more important tasks on the list. Seek to understand how the successful have managed to achieve what they have even with same 24Hrs daily; and imbibe them into your life. These include things like understanding where your direct input is most critical and outsourcing or delegating other non-valuing adding tasks you do as a woman at home or even at work. This way, time is freed up for more significant work, relationships and/or value adding actions. Make out time for family, friends, and YOU. If you need to block out the time in your calendar, please do. Relationships are a currency; and the greatest form of bankruptcy in life is not that of money but that of good people who genuinely love and care for you. To have these people around you, you need to feel the same way about them and have demonstrated this by the time invested in building the relationship. Schedule quality time with your spouse to talk and just laugh. Create memories with your children…even bedtime daily is more than enough time to start this. Make it count! Be a true friend to your friends. Schedule time for self-care, time to just rest and love on yourself.
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Tip #3 – Understand Each Phase Of Your Life And Its Priorities. You are a woman of many parts; and sometimes one part of your life may need disproportionate focus and attention at a given time. When this happens, please do not be hard on yourself! I remember when I needed to take some time off work to focus on my young son who was not speaking at age 5. It was a hard decision given that it was a very important time in my career, but I was encouraged to go when I remembered a senior colleague, who years ago had done the same thing, yet continued to grow in her career upon her return to work. Guess what? That also became my experience. BONUS TIP– SEEK DIVINE HELP. With all the responsibilities saddled on us as women and the differing expectations of us that can be sometimes overwhelming, it is important to always have a secure connect to God. In closing, let me share this quote by Nelson Mandela – ‘’There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living’’; and remind us that an airplane would be the same as a car if it chose not to challenge the laws of gravity. I challenge you to look beyond just balance to a life of continuous growth AND balance across all facets of your life. You are made for MORE! Thank you for your time and looking forward to celebrating your exploits soon. Cheers to your all-round success,
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IS THERE BALANCE WITH MULTI IDENTITIES OF WOMEN? By: Juan Yu CHINA The topic for me today is Is there a balance to the multiple identities of women? I think yes, today's society has given women more identity choices, so that women can freely switch between career, family, work, and life to achieve a colorful life. Personally, I think the word "balance" is more appropriate to use "choice". My goals are different at each stage of my life, so I will choose my life according to what I think is the most important goal at the moment. Way. When you figure out what is most important to you, all in or part in becomes clear. I am often envious of today's young people. Today's young people have more, better learning opportunities and channels than ours, and they also have more rights to choose. In terms of vision and thinking, I think today's young people are much better than our generation. Since my child graduated from junior high school and gave up the admission of key high schools to enter the international high school, I told him that he has taken a road that I have never traveled, and that he will face in the future. I may not be able to give advice on many things in the future. At most, I will give some small reminders based on my life experience. So today I want to share a few things that I think are important in my life. 1. One must have a dream One must have dreams! If someone jokes about your daydreaming, don't believe him! The so-called dream may be some unrealistic idea that you first germinate. If you dare to think and think all the time, you will have the motivation to chase. When life has passed a stage and you look back, you will find that it may have become the reality of your life. Because once you have the ability to choose, you will naturally choose the lifestyle of your dreams. 2. Cultivate hobbies and specialties, and always remain curious about the world The ancients said that "people have no habit, and they can't be friends". Be a fun person and develop a few healthy hobbies, especially sports and art. 11
The benefits of personal hobbies and expertise can be summarized in three aspects a. business support b. fullness of life c. exciting life Hobbies can help you meet a group of like-minded friends, enrich your life, expand your network, and provide an opportunity to showcase yourself. Many of my friends' career advancements or career advancements are related to their personal interests and hobbies. Fate will open many windows for you. Funny people never get bored anywhere, in any situation. 3. Take care of your body A good body is the foundation of everything. Whether it is hard work or a career, enjoying life or realizing your dreams, you all need a good body. Live a long time to see you, live a long time to see you, right? 4. Love yourself This is especially true for girls. love yourself! Cherish yourself! Believe that everything in the world is beautiful! To love yourself first will you be able to love others. Especially in the future if you start a family and become wives, mothers need to do this even more. My WeChat signature is "Listen to your inner voice and be your true self" It's not easy, even now I'm still in the process of self-cultivation and selfimprovement. Our generation has been educated since childhood: "Be obedient, be a good child, and take the first place" Listening to parents at home, teachers at school, leaders at work, and doing everything you need to be the best and praised, this is actually very scary. In the end, you will find that you will get lost in the eyes and opinions of others. Many peers live in the eyes of others and lose themselves in order to prove to others that they live well. However, I believe that the post-00s will be much better, you will be more confident and your thinking will be more independent. 12
The last thing I want to say is that there are many things that no one can help except your own efforts. When my child was in the middle school entrance examination, I wrote him a sentence "If you have to choose a path to walk, choose the hardest one". A few years later I found him under that note that it was the right choice. This is often the case. There are no shortcuts in life. In the end, you will find that no matter what you choose, fate will push you down the hardest path. Do the right things Do thing right (A while ago, a friend of mine consulted me about whether her child should study abroad. Her child was admitted to the University of Hong Kong and was also admitted to several famous schools in the UK. If he applies to the University of Singapore, he should have sufficient confidence to get the offer. , Because of the epidemic situation and family situation, my friends hope that their children can go to universities in Hong Kong and Singapore. The schools and majors of their dreams are in the UK. Parents think that their children are just crested in Hong Kong, but they are chicken tails when they go to the UK.) Don't people often say that one day you will thank the self who worked so hard? I think only if you have tasted the taste of working hard to achieve a goal, you will know where your confidence is when facing difficulties in the future!
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女性的多重身份是否平衡？ By: Joan Yu CHINA
余剑，两个孩子的母亲。 1995 年大学毕业， 1998 年开始创业，成立公司从事建 材行业，参与苏州的基础设施建设和房地产项目的建设。曾经是慈济慈善事业 基金会的志工。联合多位专业心理咨询师和正面管教导师针对女性举办过多场 正面管教和个人成长主题的公益讲座。因为个人兴趣爱好开设了苏州第一家红 木木艺工作室。 2019 年旅居西班牙。 今天给我的题目是女性的多重身份有平衡吗 ? 我觉得有，当今社会给了女性更多的身份抉择，使得女性可以在事业，家庭， 工作，生活中自由切换从而实现多彩人生。 就我个人而言我觉得 “ 平衡 ” 这个词用 “ 取舍 ” 更为贴切，在我的人生中每一个阶段 的目标都不一样，那么我会根据我自己认为当下最重要的目标选择我的生活方 式。当你搞清楚什么对你最重要， all in or part in 就很清楚了。 我时常羡慕现下的年轻人，当下的年轻人比我们那个年代拥有更多，更好的学 习机会和途径，也拥有更多选择的权利。论眼界，论思维，我觉得现在的年轻 人比我们这一代要优秀的多。从我的孩子初中毕业放弃重点高中的录取进入国 际高中开始，我就告诉他，他走了一条我从未走过的路，他未来要面对，经历 的都是我从不曾体验的，所以未来很多事情我可能已经给不了建议了，最多是 基于我的人生经历给予一些小小的提醒。 所以我今天想分享几点个人半百人生觉得重要的事情。 ，人一定要有梦想 人一定要有梦想！如果有人笑话你白日做梦，不要相信他！所谓梦想可能就是 一些你初初萌发的不切实际的念头。你如果敢想，一直想，你才会有追逐的动 力，当生命走过一个阶段你回头再看就会发现它可能已经成为你生活的现实。 因为当你一旦有能力选择的时候你自然而然就会选择你梦想的生活方式。 1
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，培养兴趣爱好和特长，对世界永远保持好奇心 古人说 “ 人无癖，不可交 ” 。 做个有趣的人，培养几个健康的兴趣爱好，尤其是体育和艺术类的。 个人爱好和特长给你的助益可总结为三个方面 事业的助力 生活的充盈 精彩的人生 兴趣爱好可以帮助你结识一群志趣相投的朋友，丰富生活，拓展人脉圈，同时 提供展示自己的机会。我的很多朋友在事业上的贵人或者事业的迈进都跟个人 的兴趣爱好有关。命运会给你打开许多窗户。 有趣的人在任何地方，任何境地都不会觉得无聊。 2
，爱惜自己的身体 好的身体是一切的基础。 拼搏事业也好，享受生活也好，实现梦想也好，都需要一个好身体。 活久见，活得久才能见不是吗。 3
，爱自己 这一点尤其要对女生说。爱自己！爱惜自己！相信自己指的世间一切美好！ 要首先爱自己才会有能力爱别人。尤其是将来你们如果组建家庭成为妻子，母 亲更需如此。 我的微信签名是 “ 倾听内心的声音，做真实的自己 ” 这很不容易，即使到现在我也一直在自我修炼和自我完善中。 我们这一代人从小受的教育就是 ” 听话，做好孩子，要拿第一 ” 在家听父母的，在学校听老师的，到单位听领导的，做任何事要最好，要得表 扬，这个其实很可怕，到最后你会发现会迷失在别人的眼光和意见中，我的很 多同龄人就是生活在别人的眼光中，为了向别人证明自己活的好而迷失自己。 不过这一点我相信 00 后会好很多，你们更自信，思维更独立。 4
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最后我想说的是很多事情除了自己努力，任何人都帮不上忙。 我的孩子中考的时候我给他写了一句话 “ 如果你要选择一条路去走，那么就选最 难的那一条 ” 。几年后我发现他在那张纸条下写着，选对了。事情往往就是这 样，人生没有捷径可以走，到最后你一定会发现无论你做什么选择，命运都会 把你推向最难的一条路。 Do the right things 做正确的事 Do thing right 正确的做事 ( 前一阵子我的一位朋友因为孩子是否出国留学的问题来咨询我，她的孩子被香 港大学录取同时也被英国的几所名校录取，如果他申请新加坡大学应该也有充 足的把握拿到 offer ，因为疫情和家庭情况我的朋友希望孩子能在香港和新加坡 读大学，孩子梦想的学校和专业都在英国，家长觉得他们孩子在香港就是凤 头，去了英国是鸡尾 ) 人们不是常说总有一天你会感谢那个拼命努力的自己么， 我觉得只有你尝过拼命努力达成一个目标的滋味，你才会知道你未来面对困难 时的底气在哪里！
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3 ATTITUDES TO BE MORE SUCCESSFUL By: Marilyn Martinez SPAIN Being a woman is not easy... Does anyone agree with me? We women work, we take care of our children, our parents and all other family and friends in need... we take care of our homes and the activities and celebrations of our loved ones... And in many cases, we study and try to improve ourselves.... And as stressful as all of this can be, I feel deeply that being a woman is a great privilege and I am honored to be one.... So, I also honor you no matter how successful you are right now and I want to invite you to honor yourselves and all the women you know because it's not easy for them either and they deserve it too.... Women are designed to be united, to collaborate and to help each other and through this "helping each other" we all heal... Therefore, I want to share with you 3 attitudes and actions that can boost you in your personal and professional life to be more successful in all areas of your life... 1) You don't need to be perfect Women in general feel that we have to prove something or at least, it seems that socially that is what is demanded of us.... Perfect in our work, perfect wives or partners, perfect physically, perfect in our perfectly clean house, perfect mothers, daughters, friends.... And this leads us to demand from ourselves something that would be impossible for a single woman to fulfill...maybe three women could do it, but certainly not just one woman with 24 hours a day....
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Many women who are mothers feel guilty for not being able to be with them and take care of them while they work and become stressed and reach the exhaustion that finally produces health problems and a deep unhappiness because they can not be well neither with their children, nor with their partner or with themselves.... Perfection never goes hand in hand with happiness. Let me repeat it to you and try to make it sink in and see if it resonates with you... Perfection never goes hand in hand with happiness...not for you, not for anyone around you...And I know this very well because I did the same thing for most of my life because I always thought I didn't do enough, didn't work hard enough, wasn't a good enough mother, didn't take care of my health enough, didn't keep my house clean enough.... Sound familiar? So I invite you to give yourself permission to break free from that perfection..... Believe me, you are more than enough, you do more than enough and you don't need to prove anything, no matter what people think.... You can only give your best when you are well, when you speak well to yourself, when you treat yourself well, when you stop putting everyone and everything before your well-being.... Some time ago I heard a very simple phrase that I now use as a mantra: Better done than perfect. Because many times, after that perfection there is the fear of failure, of being judged, of being successful and even the well-known impostor syndrome... That's why sometimes we think that we need one more course, more practice, to go over it more times… So I invite you to let go of perfection and embrace your authenticity because no one needs so much perfection and people are eager to see more real people....
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And why do we like real people so much? Because then it gives us permission to be more authentic and less perfect and because when someone is real they can connect with people soul to soul, heart to heart.... 2) Listen to your heart It doesn't mean don't use your brain or question things, but rather listen to the call of your heart.... That purpose for which you are designed, for which you have a special gift.... That thing that you are passionate about and love to do.... I firmly believe that when you are so passionate about something and it comes naturally to you, it is because it is aligned with your life purpose.... Sometimes, it's something so natural to you that you yourself overlook it because it's a natural gift you were born with..... But pay attention to what people tell you about some of your qualities or what you are good at because there may be the essence of what the world is waiting for you to bring to the table.... I feel deeply that we are all here for something and if you find that purpose and have a "what for" bigger than your fears, then success is inevitable.... I always use to say a phrase that I love which is "Love what you do, do what you love"..... So if right now you are in a job that is not what you love the most, I invite you to do it with love and put the best of you in it, because that will be the bridge so that one day you can do what you really love.... And if you can't do what you really love, at least that "do it with love" will say a lot about you, about your leadership capacity and your commitment as a person and as a professional and will be an inspiration for your children or for anyone who knows you... 19
If you are going to do something, it better be right.... As Toni Robbins says, "As you do one thing, you do everything".... Don't compare yourself to anyone Your biggest advantage is to be yourself.... No one is better than you at playing yourself and I feel there is a big reason why we are all so different.... You see, no one wants a person playing a role of someone perfect and not showing themselves as they really are because they don't inspire trust.... Therefore, I invite you to be authentic and do not compare yourself with anyone, neither about your qualities, nor about your capabilities, nor about your physique, nor about the pace at which you evolve, nor the pace at which you are achieving your goals, or in your business, or in your studies, nor compare your relationship or the success you think you have with men, your relationship with your children, if you go out more or less, if you have more or less material things... We are all different and we do not need the same things to be happy, we do not have the same lifestyle, we do not have the same values, nor the same priorities, so the only thing that matters is that all those things are aligned with you, with your values, your way of being and with what makes you happy.... Don't worry about what other people show on social media or what they say...Believe me, it's not always true...Even the most famous and wealthy people have problems, so the only thing that really matters is your life, your relationships and your happiness.... Not everyone needs a mansion and a Lamborgini to be happy, so give yourself permission to want what you want without having to explain yourself or people agreeing with you.... Just don't use that as an excuse to settle and not going for your dreams, because that will make you very unhappy...
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Reflect on the life you want in all areas of your life and create habits that will lead you towards it, step by step, day by day... Do something every day that brings you closer to the life you want to achieve and become the person you need to become to get it.... No one can be happy for you, so get out there and shine.... And if anyone tries to turn off your light, shine brighter and let them put on sunglasses..... Thank you
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3 ACTITUDES PARA TENER MÁS ÉXITO By: Marilyn Martinez SPAIN Ser mujer no es fácil… ¿Alguien está de acuerdo conmigo? Las mujeres trabajamos, cuidamos de nuestros hijos, de nuestros padres y de todos los demás familiares y amigos que lo necesiten…cuidamos de nuestras casas y de las actividades y celebraciones de los nuestros… Y en muchos casos, estudiamos e intentamos mejorar… Y a pesar de lo estresante que todo ello puede llegar a ser, siento profundamente que ser mujer es un gran privilegio y me siento honrada de serlo… Por ello, también os honro a vosotras sin importar el éxito que tengáis ahora mismo y quiero invitaros a honraros a vosotras mismas y a todas las mujeres que conozcáis porque para ellas tampoco es fácil y ellas también lo merecen… Las mujeres estamos diseñadas para estar unidas, colaborar y ayudarnos entre nosotras y mediante ese “ayudarnos unas a otras” sanamos todas… Por ello, quiero compartiros 3 actitudes y acciones que os pueden impulsar en vuestra vida personal y profesional para tener más éxito en todas las áreas de vuestra vida… 1) No necesitas ser perfecta Las mujeres en general sentimos que tenemos que demostrar algo o al menos, parece que socialmente eso es lo que se nos exige… Perfectas en nuestro trabajo, perfectas esposas o parejas, perfectas físicamente, perfectas en nuestra casa perfectamente limpia, perfectas madres, hijas, amigas… Y ello nos lleva a exigirnos algo que sería imposible cumplir por una sola mujer… puede que tres mujeres pudieran llegar a hacerlo, pero desde luego no una sola con 24 horas al día… 22
Muchas mujeres que son madres se sienten culpables por no poder estar con ellos y cuidarlos mientras trabajan y llegan a estresarse y a agotarse tanto que finalmente les produce problemas de salud y una profunda infelicidad ya que no pueden estar bien ni con sus hijos, ni con su pareja ni con ellas mismas… La perfección nunca va de la mano de la felicidad Permíteme que te lo repita e intenta que cale en ti y veas si te resuena… La perfección nunca va de la mano de la felicidad…ni para ti, ni para nadie que te rodea…Y lo sé muy bien porque yo hice lo mismo gran parte de mi vida porque siempre pensaba que no hacía suficiente, que no trabajaba suficiente, que no era suficiente buena madre, no cuidaba de mi salud lo suficiente, no tenía mi casa lo suficientemente limpia… ¿Te suena? Así que te invito a darte permiso para liberarte de esa perfección… Créeme, eres más que suficiente, haces más que suficiente y no necesitas demostrar nada, piense lo que piense la gente… Sólo puedes dar lo mejor de ti cuando tú estás bien, cuando te hablas bien, cuando te tratas bien, cuando dejas de poner a todos y a todo antes que tu bienestar… Hace tiempo escuché una frase muy sencilla que ahora uso como mantra: Mejor hecho que perfecto Porque muchas veces, después de esa perfección está el miedo a fracasar, a ser juzgadas, a tener éxito e incluso el conocido síndrome del impostor… Por eso a veces pensamos que necesitamos un curso más, más práctica, repasarlo más veces… Así que te invito a soltar la perfección y abrazar tu autenticidad porque nadie necesita tanta perfección y la gente está deseando ver más gente real… 23
¿Y por qué nos gusta tanto la gente real? Porque entonces nos da permiso a los demás para ser más auténticos y menos perfectos y porque cuando alguien es real puede conectar con la gente de alma a alma, de corazón a corazón… 2) Escucha a tu corazón No quiere decir que no uses tu cerebro o que no cuestiones las cosas, sino que escuches la llamada de tu corazón… Ese propósito para el que estás diseñada, para el que tienes un don especial… Eso que te apasiona y que adoras hacer… Creo firmemente que cuando algo te apasiona tanto y se te da de forma natural es porque está alineado con tu propósito de vida… A veces, es algo tan natural para ti que a ti misma se te pasa por alto porque es un don natural con el que has nacido… Pero pon atención a lo que te dice la gente sobre alguna de tus cualidades o lo que se te da bien porque ahí puede estar la esencia de eso que el mundo está esperando que tú aportes… Siento profundamente que todos estamos aquí por algo y si encuentras ese propósito y tienes un “para qué” más grande que tus miedos, entonces el éxito es inevitable… Yo siempre suelo decir una frase que me encanta que es “Ama lo que haces, haz lo que amas”… Así que si ahora mismo estás en un trabajo que no es el que más te gusta, te invito a que lo hagas con amor y pongas lo mejor de ti en él, porque ése será el puente para que algún día puedas hacer lo que amas de verdad… Y si no pudieras llegar a dedicarte a lo que te de verdad amas, al menos ese “hacerlo con amor” dirá mucho de ti, de tu capacidad de liderazgo y de tu compromiso como persona y como profesional y será una inspiración para tus hijos o para cualquier persona que te conozca…
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Si vas a hacer algo, mejor que sea bien… Como dice Toni Robbins, “ Como haces una cosa, haces todas” 3) No te compares con nadie Tu mayor ventaja es ser tú misma… Nadie es mejor que tú haciendo de ti misma y siento que hay un gran motivo para que todos y todas seamos tan diferentes… Verás, nadie quiere a una persona representando un papel de alguien perfecto y que no se muestre como es de verdad porque no inspira confianza… Por ello, te invito a que seas auténtica y no te compares con nadie, ni sobre tus cualidades, ni sobre tus capacidades, ni sobre tu físico, ni sobre el ritmo al que evolucionas, ni al ritmo que vas consiguiendo tus objetivos, o en tu negocio, o en tus estudios, ni tampoco compares tu relación de pareja o el éxito que creas que tienes con los hombres, tu relación con tus hijos, si sales más o menos, si tienes más cosas materiales o menos… Somos todos diferentes y no necesitamos las mismas cosas para ser felices, no llevamos el mismo estilo de vida, no tenemos los mismos valores, ni las mismas prioridades, así que lo único que importa es que todas esas cosas estén alineadas contigo, con tus valores, tu forma de ser y con lo que a ti te hace feliz… No te preocupes por lo que enseñen los demás en redes sociales o lo que cuenten… Créeme, no siempre es verdad…Incluso las personas más famosas y más ricas tienen problemas, así que lo único que de verdad importa es tu vida, tus relaciones y tu felicidad… No todo el mundo necesita una mansión y un Lamborgini para ser feliz, así que date permiso para querer lo que quieres sin necesidad de dar explicaciones o que la gente esté de acuerdo… Eso sí, no uses eso como excusa para conformarte y no ir a por tus sueños, porque eso te hará muy infeliz… 25
Reflexiona sobre la vida que quieres en todas las áreas de tu vida y crea hábitos que te lleven hacia ellos, paso a paso, día a día… Haz algo cada día que te acerque a esa vida que quieres conseguir y conviértete en la persona que necesitas convertirte para conseguirlo… Nadie puede ser feliz por ti, así que sal ahí fuera y brilla… Y si alguien intenta apagar tu luz, brilla más fuerte y que se pongan gafas de sol… Gracias
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THRIVING ADMIST MULTIPLE DEMANDING ROLES: HELPFUL TIPS FOR WOMEN By: Chinenye Ajayi NIGERIA “Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and, above all, confidence in ourselves. We must believe we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained.” – Marie Curie Growing up, I never heard the term “work life balance” and as every young lady, I dreamt of building a successful career whilst having a great home (husband and kids). There was little or no understanding of what these aspirations would require of me let alone being prepared for them. One thing was certain though- I had big dreams, and was ready to explore the world with so much enthusiasm. Like one would burst a bubble, I recall a colleague speaking to me during our final weeks at the law school. According to him, I could not rise through the ranks in my career, and maintain a good relationship with my husband and kids at the same time. In his words, “I can’t eat my cake and have it”. Somehow, that word stuck and I began to tread carefully and to cut down any aspiration that seemed too high. As I would
later
understand,
my
colleague’s
position
stemmed
out
of
gender
stereotyping- the identification of a woman with the characteristics of weakness. Clearly, gender stereotyping has become one of the most prominent obstacles to womens’ access to leadership positions, since women are generally regarded as mentally weak, emotional, irrational, and incapable of coping with difficulties. For my first job, I was advised to opt for a “small” role to give me time for family, and that I did. Whilst I could leave the office at 5pm and get home on time to be with family, I felt very unfulfilled. The desire to grow, to stretch outside my comfort and to do something more challenging overwhelmed me. The reality set in when changed jobs and joined a law firm which was not only tasking, but time consuming with very steep deadlines. This next phase brought with it guilty pangs because I felt I was not doing enough. I blamed myself for anything that went wrong, and I struggled to, as much as possible give equal time for my multiple roles, and when I am unable to make it, I slip in and out of depression.
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The above is one of the main reasons why women do not receive leadership positions given the difficulty associated with reconciling career, household chores and caring for themselves. As such, many women succumb under the pressure to lay aside their ambition of occupying leadership positions or expanding their businesses. For me, change happened when I had a mindset shift. As a starting point, there is no such thing as ‘perfect work life balance’ in a very strict sense. It is never possible to give equal separate time to different aspects of your life as a woman. The more you try, the more you find out that it is impracticable. Below are few tips that helped me find my feet: i. Stop trying to create a perfect balance, integrate your multiple roles instead. Whilst you are cooking, you can send that email to a client or complete the project design. Whilst you are preparing the home budget, you can help the kids with their school work. ii. Get support. There is no benefit in trying to be a super woman at the detriment of your mental and physical health. Get help to assist with any aspect of your life that can be delegated (e.g.
getting groceries from a store), while you focus on
things that cannot be delegated (e.g. time with your spouse). iii. Communicate/speak up. When you are getting overwhelmed, speak to your employer, spouse, sibling or whoever is involved to cut you some slack. Do not die in silence. Take a break off work if you need to or skip attending that school event if you really need to, it does not make you a bad mum. iv. Never settle for less. Go all out for your dreams, aim for the top and put in what it takes. v. Focus on self-development, learn new skills on how to make work or home easier, and get mentorship/guidance from other successful women who are thriving. 28
Applying these principles with God’s help will enable every woman live a stress-free life. Granted, there are extremely tough times, however, there would be no pressure to prove a point or to be what you are not, and more importantly, you need not be subject to guilty pangs and associated depression for being inadequate. In closing, “Be strong enough to stand alone, smart enough to know when you need help, and brave enough to ask for it.” – Ziad K. Abdelnour
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IFEOMA CHUKS-ADIZUE, NIGERIA Ifeoma is a seasoned professional with a rare mix of experience in Brand Management, Sales, Media and over 16 years’ experience building brands across Africa. Iphie is the Executive Director Commercial at CAP PLC, makers of Dulux Paint where she is currently
leading
the
Sales
and
Marketing
teams to deliver business growth. She is wildly passionate
about
people
development
and
living a life of purpose that makes God proud.
In 2012, in addition to her full-time job, Iphie co-founded Deluxe Childbirth Services, a business focused on reducing the maternal mortality rate in Nigeria by helping expectant parents give birth abroad. Iphie Chuks-Adizue is the author of two books – The Uncommon Woman and Made for More; and is Founding president of the Uncommon Woman Movement where she inspires and teaches career women how to purposefully and profitably birth the MORE in them even with their full-time jobs…without losing the things that matter like their homes or sanity. Iphie is a wife and mom of three children; and a Board Director on the board of CAP PLC and FINCA Microfinance bank. She is the recipient of several awards, the most recent being the Exceptional Leader of Excellence Award from the Global Women Economic Forum.
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MARILYN MARTINEZ SPAIN
Marilyn Martínez Pérez is a polifacetic mother of three children with more than 15 years of experience in the Luxury Property Market in Costa Blanca. Also as one of her biggest passions she has been more than 12 years researching and studying personal development, spiritual growth, coaching, relationships and several emotional balance therapis in a very intensive way. She is a Coach, a Reiki Master, A High Impact Mentor and a writer. She has written two books at the moment : "Ten mistakes we women make looking for love" and "Secrets to conquer a woman" as well as the author of an online course "Reconnecting with your masculine and femenine essence"
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CHINENYE AJAYI NIGERIA Chinenye is a versatile commercial lawyer and works as solicitor in the Power & Infrastructure team at Olaniwun Ajayi LP (OALP), a leading law firm in Nigeria where she provides legal and business advisory services to clients within the energy sector, particularly in the renewable energy space.
In line with passion for the energy sector, She founded Solfa Power Limited, a company set up to bridge the energy gap in Africa by providing clean, affordable, and innovative energy solutions that ensures reliable power supply to individuals, small businesses and larger organizations across various sectors.
Presently, Chinenye is the United Nations Representative of Ariel Foundation International to Geneva, where makes presentations on topical issues bothering on youth, political and economic development. She is also involved in education, training, mentorship and economic empowerment towards promoting affordable energy access and energy security through several volunteer positions with the African Fellowship of Young Energy Leaders(AFYEL) and ReEnergy Africa. Chinenye is a wife and a mom of 3 kids. She loves working with individuals to discover their true potentials whilst fulfilling their God-given purposes.
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JIAN YU CHINA
Jian Yu mother of two children. Graduated from university in 1995, started a business in 1998, established a company to engage in the building materials industry, and participated in the construction of infrastructure and real estate projects in Suzhou. I used to be a volunteer of the
Compassion Relief Tzu Chi Foundation.In conjunction with a number of
professional psychological counselors and positive management teachers, we have held a number of public welfare lectures on positive discipline and personal growth for women.
Run the first mahogany wood art
studio in Suzhou because of personal hobbies. Lived in Spain in 2019.
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DR. ARIEL ROSITA KING, MPH, MBA, PHD (UK), DTM&H, PHD (FRANCE) AFI Founder and President Dr. Ariella (Ariel) Rosita King (www.drarielking.com) founded The Ariel Foundation International (www.arielfoundation.org) in 2002 as a non-profit organization with an international focus
on
children
and
youth
inspired
leadership
and
participation worldwide. Dr. Ariel King is a Rotarian for over 20 years. She is the Main Representative at the United Nations (Geneva, New York and Vienna ) for AFI, with Special Economic, Cultural and
Social
Council
Special
(ECOSO).
She
has
also
represented other NGOs in Geneva since 2008, the United Nations in Vienna (UNOV) since 2010 and United Nations in New York since 2000. Dr. King is also an NGO Representative at the European Parliament. Dr. King’s life focus is on inspiring leadership and participation of worlds’ children and youth. Ariel Foundation International is a member of EuroChild, Dr. King was a Trustee for Children’s Rights Alliance England (CRAE), Now Just for Law Kids, and the Acid Survivors Trust International (ASTI) United Kingdom. Dr King is also the Founder (2000), and President Ariel Consulting International, Inc., that creates and enhances Public-Private Partnerships in international diplomacy and policy. She has over 35 years of experience in international public policy and international management in government, business and NGOs. As a Professor in International Health, Management, Policy and Environment she has taught at Universities in the USA, Europe and Africa. Dr. King has published on the topics of Kangaroo Newborn Baby Care, International Health Policy and Management, Medical Ethics, Organ Transplantation, National Essential Drugs Policy, HIV/AIDS; Breast Cancer; Violence Against Women; Youth Participation at the United Nations and Children’s Human Rights.
Dr. King completed a second research degree (PhD) in Sociology on Community Engagement in the Psychosocial Care of Their Traumatised Children – A Case Study of Botswana, Liberia and Morocco at the Unitersité de Franche-Comte, France (December 2018). She also has completed advance certificates in the study of Children’s Human Rights, from the UER Droits de l'enfant/Children's Rights Unit, Institut Universitaire Kurt Bösch (IUKB) in Switzerland. Dr. King holds a Diploma Tropical Medicine and Hygiene (DTM&H); Doctorate (PhD) in Philosophy in Public Health and Policy from the London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine, University of London; a Master in International Health Management (MIM) from Thunderbird School of Global Management; Master in Public Health (MPH) in international Health from the University of Texas School of Public Health; and a Bachelor of Arts (BA) from the University of Hawaii at Manoa.
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