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Treasure the Gifts of Life and Love... We are so excited to announce the re-launch of our site. Please visit KristineCarlson.com and join our mailing list to receive our newsletters and Free gifts!
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CONTENTS On the Cover
Jennifer Louden Jennifer Louden is the bestselling author of The Life Organizer: A Woman’s Guide to a Mindful Year, The Woman’s Comfort Book and many others. Jennifer is a personal coach and cultural visionary, harnessing her extraordinary ability to recognize women’s comfort as both a fundamental need and an innate desire. JEN’S COVER PHOTO: Darrah Parker Photography
http://www.darrahparker.com/
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DECEMBER | JANUARY 2014 LIVING A LIFE OF PASSION AND PURPOSE Wisdom & Self-Growth 18 HOW TO STOP THE CYCLE OF OVERPROVIDING by Jennifer Louden Many of us are guilty of overproviding to the benefit of others at the cost to ourselves. Over-providing is a less than truthful existence and keeps you from giving birth to your truest life. It can be very difficult to recognize when you are over-providing. Here are some of the signs to watch for and to help you wake up to when it might be happening. 22 LIVING WITH PASSION AND PURPOSE by Dr. Jennifer Howard True passion flows from our very deepest source, our highest level of existence, our essence. It’s a calling, an ache inside that’s summoning
www.AspireMAG.net | December / January 2014
you to be the person you were meant to be, so you can make the contribution to this world only you can make. It’s this passion that’s moving you closer to your “purpose.” When rooted in your purpose, you can more easily tap into your true passion. 26 THE CREATIVE BEING CREED by Shiloh Sophia McCloud Shiloh Sophia McCloud is a visionary artist and teacher. She has dedicated the past twenty years of her to life art as a path of healing through painting, writing and teaching intentional creativity. At the core of her work is a belief that the right to self express is one of the most basic human rights – having access to what we think, feel, know, believe and want to create in our lives. Enjoy Shiloh’s beautiful Creative Being Creed.
CONTENTS
28 LIVING THE BIG STUFF: STEPPING INTO THE NEXT CHAPTER by Kristine Carlson As women we find ourselves in a stage of reinvention at different times in our lives for different reasons. This may mean you have to release the past and move into the unknown territory of self-discovery to receive a new dream. Whatever brings you to this place in your life of crossroads; you are one step closer to realizing your next great chapter of life and embracing change as you “live the big stuff!”
“Your purpose in life is to find your purpose and give your whole heart and soul to it.” BUDDHA
32 SIMPLY EMPOWERED... HOW WOULD A WOMAN REACT? by Crystal Andrus The next time you find yourself in a situation where the old wounds want to pop up and remind you of feeling unworthy or unwanted, remind yourself that you’re a woman now! You are teaching people how to treat you by the way you treat yourself! Crystal shares the powerful wisdom behind the acronym she created using the word WOMAN. Use it to remind you of how you want to respond in challenging times: Like a woman would!
36 THE RICHNESS OF LIVING A PURPOSEFUL LIFE by Maryellen De Vine Life Coach, Angel Therapy Practitioner® and Founder of Angelic Journeys Maryellen De Vine shares five ways you can get started opening to the magic and richness of your own Spirit-filled, purposeful life.
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CONTENTS 39 RAISING YOUR GODDESS CONSCIOUSNESS by M. J. Abadie When we listen and pay attention to the still small voice, we hear the voice of the Goddess. The directions we need most often come from within, yet they can be mirrored by what is happening without. The question is: How can we sort through our multiplicity of feelings, sensations, intuitions, thoughts, and reactions to get to the core of the matter? The answer is through reflection. Consciousness thrives in the silence of reflection.
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“When you lost sight of your path, listen for the destination in your heart.” KATSURA HOSHINO
Health & Wellness 42 LIVING THE GODDESS LIFESTYLE: I DID IT MY WAY! by Lisa Marie Rosati Most likely you think you’ve heard it all when it comes to ‘discovering and living your purpose’ and how important it is to do so. Lisa Marie shares her maverick thought about “purpose”: You’re already living your purpose… and your purpose will most likely change and evolve many times over the course of your lifetime! Discover how you have been living on purpose all along and take some time to dive deeper with these introspective journaling questions .
www.AspireMAG.net | December / January 2014
46 PRACTICE YOGA WITH INTENTION: A GUIDE TO CHOOSING THE RIGHT STYLE FOR THE NEW YEAR by Meagan McCrary Whether you want to become lithe and toned,
address specific health issues, gain more clarity, develop a sense of peace, discover your life’s purpose or whatever it is — choosing a yoga style that supports your intention for the New Year is essential for staying on course. Here is an overview of the yoga style best suited for your intention. Whether it’s becoming svelte with Ashtanga-vinyasa yoga or developing more self-acceptance and compassion with Kripalu yoga there’s a yoga style for you.
CONTENTS 49 IS IT PERIMENOPAUSE? by Mary E. Pritchard, Ph. D. We all know to look for hot flashes and night sweats as early signs of menopause. But did you know that the earliest signs of perimenopause are often psychological or spiritual in nature? Women may suffer for years with early signs of hormonal imbalance and not even know it. Learn more about these important signs and what they mean.
“You were put on this earth to achieve your greatest self, to live out your purpose, and to do it fearlessly.” STEVE MARABOLI
52 THE WISE WOMAN WAY: LIVING A LIFE OF PURPOSE by Susun Weed The purpose of our lives differs from the goals of our lives. We strive to achieve goals; purpose carries us. We must think up goals; purpose is inherent and without thought. We each have different goals, and different ways of achieving the same goals, but we all have the same purpose: To share love and create joy.
Relationships 56 8 KEYS TO CREATING A LOVING, JOYFUL RELATIONSHIP by Margaret Paul, Ph.D. Do you believe that if you have to work on a relationship, it’s not the right relationship for you? It’s not true. However, “working on a relationship,” doesn’t mean that it has to be hard. It primarily means that you continually learn and grow toward being an evermore-loving person. While we don’t need to be in a relationship to continue to evolve toward being more loving, relationships trigger all that is unhealed within us, thereby offering us wonderful opportunities for healing and growth. Here are eight keys that are essential in creating a joyful, loving relationship.
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CONTENTS 60 5 SECRETS OF A HEALTHY MARRIAGE by Shann Vander Leek In The Five Secrets of a Healthy Marriage, Transformation Goddess, Shann Vander Leek shares her formula for enjoying a healthy, fun and longlasting partnership. Married to her beloved Thomas for 21 years, Shann is walking her talk and enjoying the blessings of a great relationship. 63 COLORSCOPE by Elizabeth Harper Colorscope is a unique system designed to stimulate your intuitive skills. By choosing the color you are most drawn to you actively access the wisdom of your subconscious and the voice of your soul.
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“Built into you is an internal guidance system that shows you the way home. All you need to do is heed the voice.� NEALE DONALD WALSCH
Career | Business 66 INTERVIEW WITH THE MARKETING GODDESS: ELIZABETH PURVIS by Linda Joy In this empowering interview, Elizabeth Purvis shares some great tips on creating a thriving business and why she is so passionate about teaching and empowering women how to magnetize their desires and create their lives and businesses exactly as they wish to live it. Elizabeth is recognized as a leader in the emerging teaching of feminine energy in business and is a mentor to thousands of conscious women entrepreneurs around the world.
www.AspireMAG.net | December / January 2014
69 DOING BUSINESS LIKE A GODDESS: GRATITUDE FIRST! by Elizabeth Purvis In this continuing series, Elizabeth shares the 4th key concept for doing business like a Goddess: Gratitude First as well as 10 ways to practice gratitude. When you make the commitment to LIVE in gratitude, it will create a space for you to experience the ultimate blessing: to change your life while transforming the lives of others through your business.
CONTENTS
“Truth is not something outside to be discovered, it is something inside to be realized.” OSHO
74 INSPIRED TO WRITE? THE BOSS FROM HELL AND OTHER GIFTS FROM THE UNIVERSE by Lisa Tener National Book Coach Lisa Tener shares how her path to living a life of passion and purpose revealed itself slowly. Lisa shares how clarity came in incremental steps, gentle promptings and small synchronicities and the lessons learned on her journey.
LINDA JOY
||
Publisher & Editor-In-Chief | Linda@aspiremag.net
Creative & Brand Direction || RACHEL DUNHAM | www.HummingbirdCreativeConcepts.com Editorial Layout || MANDY GATES | www.GruveDesign.com Graphic Designer || MANDY GATES | www.GruveDesign.com COO || KIM TURCOTTE | www.SoulPurposeBusinessSolutions.com MAILING ADDRESS || P.O. BOX 1149 | LAKEVILLE, MA 02347 | 508.265.7929 ADVERTISING || Email Linda@aspiremag.net MISSION TO INSPIRE INFO <CLICK HERE>
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EXPERT COLUMNISTS CRYSTAL ANDRUS Simply... Empowered!
KRISTINE CARLSON Living the Big Stuff TM
Crystal Andrus is a leader in the field of self-discovery and personal transformation. From a tough beginning—she has risen to become a best-selling Hay House author, international speaker, women’s health advocate, spokesperson for Haylo Health, and Founder of The SWAT Institute. Crystal’s message is one of resilience, strength and inner power. www.CrystalAndrus.com www.SWATInstitute.com
An unyielding believer of Living the Big StuffTM and not sweating the small stuff in order to experience true happiness in life, as a bestselling author and inspirational speaker Kristine Carlson continues to expand on the phenomenal success of her late husband, Dr. Richard Carlson, beloved author of the Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff series. www.KristineCarlson.com www.DontSweatMoms.com
ELIZABETH HARPER ColorScope
ELIZABETH PURVIS Doing Business Like a Goddess
Elizabeth Harper is an internationally acclaimed teacher, intuitive, healer, and the author of the award winning book Wishing: How to Fulfill Your Hearts Desires. Elizabeth is on the faculty at the highly acclaimed Omega Institute in Rhineback, NY and is invited to speak around the world. www.SealedwithLove.com
Elizabeth Purvis shows spirit-led, missiondriven women how to price, package and market their services so they create extraordinary income and impact. Known for blending heart-centered sales, Internet marketing, spiritual principles and Universal Law, Elizabeth delivers simple ways for her clients to double or triple revenues by creating multiple streams of income and enrolling ideal clients at higher fees. www.MarketingGoddess.com
LISA MARIE ROSATI Living the Goddess LifeStyleTM
LISA TENER Inspired to Write?
Passionista Lisa Marie Rosati is an Inner Goddess Catalyst for women and the Creatrix of The Goddess Lifestyle Plan. Lisa mentors women on how become a Modern Day Goddess by consciously designing a luscious Goddess life, cultivating radiant health and creating a lucrative business using and directing their feminine fire. www.GoddessLifestylePlan.com
SUSUN WEED The Wise Woman Way
An award-winning authority on writing and publishing books, Lisa Tener guides you to joyfully express yourself in writing. She blogs for the Huffington Post, serves on the faculty of Harvard Medical School’s publishing course, and teaches her own Award Winning Book Writing Courses in person and by interactive teleseminar. www.LisaTener.com
Susun Weed is an internationally renowned herbalist, author, and director of the Wise Woman Center in New York. She is a revered voice of the Wise Woman Tradition, where women’s bodies and women’s emotions are valued. Susun is a founding grandmother of the herbal renaissance and the originator of the concept of complementary medicine. www.SusunWeed.com
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www.AspireMAG.net | December / January 2014
FEATURED CONTRIBUTORS
JENNIFER LOUDEN
DR. JENNIFER HOWARD
SHILOH SOPHIA MCCLOUD
MARYELLEN DE VINE
MEAGAN MCCRARY
MARY E. PRITCHARD, PH. D., HHC
MARGARET PAUL, PH. D.
SHANN VANDER LEEK
JEN LOUDEN PHOTO CREDIT: Darrah Parker Photography
http://www.darrahparker.com/
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YOUR WISDOM! WITH OUR READERS
CONTACT US TODAY TO LEARN ABOUT OUR AWESOME CONTRIBUTOR OPPORTUNITIES!
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LETTER EDITOR
FROM THE
”Once a woman becomes aware of forces that influence her, she gains the power that knowledge provides.”” JEAN SHINODA BOLEN
Welcome to the December2013/January2014 “Living a Life of Passion and Purpose” issue!
I’ve come to believe that each and every one of us yearn to discover the purpose of our lives and to be able to passionately pursue it. My personal definition of a ‘life of purpose’ is about living a life of meaning, joy and passion that aligns our goals with our values and leads us to consciously create our lives from a place of meaning and intention. Jennifer Louden, (cover) exemplifies a woman living her purpose. As the leading expert on the concept of “comfort” and self-care for women, Jennifer’s mission continues to transform as women’s roles and voices have evolved. From a well-read self-help author to a cultural leader and life guide, Jennifer continues to live her truth inspiring women to develop their own recipe for emotional, physical, spiritual and work-life balance. You’ll discover nuggets of wisdom, hope and inspiration throughout the pages of this issue of Aspire Magazine. From Dr. Margaret Paul’s Living a Life of Passion and Purpose to Is it Perimenopause? by Mary E. Pritchard, Ph.D., HHC, this issue is filled with feminine wisdom to support you on your journey of self-empowerment, self-love and inspired living.
Connect with me! om/ http://www.Facebook.c lindajoyinspires
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http://www.facebook.c PublisherLindaJoy
Invitation to Visionary business women, Coaches and Authors: If
you are here to serve, inspire and empower women through your heartcentered business, I invite you to learn more about joining me and some of my visionary gal pals for THE spirit-led, heart-centered collaborative list-building project of the year! LEARN MORE
ajoy
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LINDA JOY Publisher & Editor-In-Chief | Linda@aspiremag.net
Here’s What I’m Reading Right Now...
FROM MY BOOKSHELF
The Life Organizer: A Woman’s Guide to a Mindful Year By Jennifer Louden This powerful book is all about organizing from the ‘inside out’! Jennifer Louden’s Life Organizer is a datebook for the soul that helps women create the life they want.
WISDOM & SELF-GROWTH Read Online!
“The purpose of life is not to be
happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassi onate, and to have it make some difference that you have lived and liv ed well.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Discerning the Difference Between
ulse p Im d n a n io it u t In BY CARI MURPHY
So, how do we know if the inner voice we’re listening to is actually our intuition and not something else, like a sudden impulse? It is a fascinating and important question to address on our journey through life. I personally feel that when we pay attention to that still small intuitive voice that attempts to guide us from moment to moment, we remain on our soul’s path with conscious intent and deliberate action. The challenge we face lies in determining what voice we’re listening to! It can be challenging to determine whether we’re receiving guidance or advice from our intuition/higher self or just the impulsive tendency that stems from our own logic or ego. It can be difficult to discern the difference if we know what signs to look for. AspireMag.net Read the full article online.
CHECK OUT MORE ONLINE!
l Live & Virtua
UPCOMING EVENTS
INSPIRED LIVING SECRETS: SEASON 3 || DETAILS! 24 Visionary Women – Thousands in Free Gifts – Free Access YOUR FIRST 3 CLIENTS FREE TRAINING CALL || DETAILS! Linda Joy Interviews Marketing Goddess Elizabeth Purvis
How to Stop the Cycle of
OVER-PROVIDING BY JENNIFER LOUDEN
I
define over-providing as giving more than is personally sustainable for you and often giving for the wrong reasons. Accurate but kind of bland. A better definition is from my friend Jeanie, “Over-providing? That’s when you’re pouring everything into growing everybody else while withering yourself.” Withering yourself. Yes that’s what you do when, instead of bringing the requested two sides to the family holiday dinner, you show up with five sides, a salad, two pies, gravy and a ham. Withering yourself is hosting a fund-raiser for your favorite cause, spending weeks hand-crafting the food, the decorations and all the details (even though there are other volunteers), and ending up in bed for two weeks with pneumonia. Withering yourself is inviting your elderly mom to move in with you, even though she has a support system and enough money for good care, and find yourself gaining weight, neglecting your creative passions, and cultivating a big ole’ grudge.
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Obviously, over-providing is not in your best interests and yet we all do it, at least some of the time. Why oh why?
• You were raised in a culture that still proclaims good women give endlessly and good men provide.
• Your
biology –humans are hardwired to belong. Over-providing keeps you in the tribe.
• You’re empathetic. You care. You want to help. How to determine how much is enough?
• You
may believe what you want to give isn’t worthwhile enough (whether that’s your ideas or your presence or your love) so you gush like a broken fire hydrant lots of other things – money, meals, advice, time - to make up for what you lack.
SIGNS LIKE:
• A hollow feeling of never getting enough done
• Overly
focused on what others think of you
• A jittery compulsion to fix people’s
pain, to do something to make it better
• Feeling
lonely even when you have friends and family around
• Doubting
other’s intentions “They only love me because I do so much for them”
Resentment •
– everybody else gets what they want but you
• You might forget you’re a human
• Frustrated and paralyzed, feeling
• Perhaps, in the past, over-providing
• Hearing
with human limits of time and energy, easy to do in these uber speedy times. kept you safe from harm.
• You haven’t learned (yet) to trust your self, to trust your body and heart when it says, “Enough.”
like you go around and around in a circle on your own dreams and desires
yourself say things like “When I finish ____ then I will” and “I just had to do ____ for _____ who else would?” and “If I don’t do ______ I will be a big failure, get fired and end up homeless and…”
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WISDOM & SELF-GROWTH
HERE ARE A FEW OF OUR COMPELLING REASONS:
Also, over-providing can be very difficult to recognize. Your family of origin, your religious background, even where you work, can give you strong messages about how much to give. Most of us believe, at least a little, that we are worthwhile for what we do, not who we are. Because it’s tricky to know when you are over-providing, it’s good to know some of the signs to help you wake up to when it might be happening.
Now before we move onto the antidotes to over-providing, I’ll address the idea that over-providing at work is the only way to succeed. But what research actually shows is the people who have the highest impact link authentic regard for others’ interests – co-workers, customers, colleagues - while also taking care of their own interests. In other words, they don’t abandon their own desires, they tend both. Wharton professor Adam Grant, author Give & Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success, calls this “otherish giving.” Yes, this applies to clients, customers, and especially, children. Okay, hopefully I’ve convinced you, at least a little, that over-providing is not the best choice for your health, your career, or your sanity. Now what to do?
SAMPLE ONE OR TWO (NO MORE!) OF THESE SIMPLE BALANCING ANTIDOTES:
• Write
down everything you do for others in a 24 hour period.
This is far harder than it seems. If you have a lot of resistance, you may be deeply identified with over-providing as in “This is what makes me me!” or you may be so exhausted by over-doing that you need a nap. Either way, notice why you refuse to do this.
• Start
the day with five minutes of extravagant self-praise.
Read emails extolling your amazing virtues, recall compliments in vivid detail, shower gratitude on yourself for
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specific things you did or didn’t do (I tell myself “Hey, good on you for not having any gluten at the party!”). Imagine this praise in the form of hummingbirds streaming into the back of your heart.
• Navigate by desire.
Make a practice of asking, “What do I want?” or “What would I really love to do here?” before say yes to something. Learning to know what you want, even if you can’t have it, is a life changing practice and one I teach in more depth in my book, The Life Organizer.
• Deputize a few beloveds to check in with before you say yes to something else.
My husband Bob and my Brain Trust (my mastermind group) must hear from me before I commit to a project or a teaching gig. I might still say yes even if they counsel no but at least I stopped long enough to make my case. Hearing yourself try to talk yourself into something can be pretty enlightening.
• Test reality
Is it true if you say no to your sister when she asks you to work for free in her store she’ll never speak to you again? Is it true that if you stop trading your coaching services for inferior admin help you will be overwhelmed and die? Take one fear of the disaster and do something different – say no, ask for what you want, etc. Note in writing what was the actual result?
• Get used to saying, “Let me get back to you.”
www.AspireMAG.net | December / January 2014
Make a list of all the reasons you must do this. Then go down the list asking, “Is that true?”
When faced with a decision or choice, ask yourself before you ask anyone else, “What do I think? What do I want?” We develop self-trust by checking in with ourselves (a key part of the Life Organizing practice from my book and app), taking action on our best guess, and then asking, “What do I know now?” We do not develop self-trust by saying, “Obviously, I can’t trust myself because I thought X was the right choice and it wasn’t.” That’s not self-trust, that’s being a psychic.
It’s tempting to get your kicks from being everything to everybody. It can be hard to believe there is another way and, once you see your pattern, you also see how overproviding is a less than truthful existence. It keeps you from giving birth to your truest life. Seeing that, painful as it can be, will motivate you to listen and choose the middle way – a little me, a little them – more often.
• Learn your over-providing triggers.
Exhaustion? Criticism? Being shamed? When you know your triggers, you may still over-provide but you’ll know why, and in time, that makes it easier to stop.
• Forget hard and fast rules.
Some situations call for over-giving for a period of time. When my dad was dying, it was important to overprovide for him. When I moved my mom into assisted living because of her Alzheimer’s, it was good to fuss over her for a couple of weeks. The guideline? Are you checking in with yourself? Are you choosing mindfully? If you want to give more, are you capable of doing so without hurting yourself?
• Yes,
avoiding over-providing is a privileged problem.
The woman in sub-Saharan Africa who
Read Online!
Jennifer Louden - The best-selling author of The Life Organizer: A Woman’s Guide to Mindful Year (out in paperback in December 2013), The Woman’s Comfort Book, The Couple’s Comfort Book, The Pregnant Woman’s Comfort Book, The Woman’s Retreat Book, and Comfort Secrets for Busy Women. She is both a personal coach and social commentator, who has taken the concept of “comfort” and selfcare, and made these essential concepts irresistible and essential to women around the world. Jennifer is a cultural visionary, harnessing her extraordinary ability to recognize women’s comfort as both a fundamental need and an innate desire. Purchase your copy of the paperback version of the The Life Organizer, and receive the Life Organizer Sanity Support Kit. Grab a copy today at JenniferLouden.com/lifeorganizer.
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WISDOM & SELF-GROWTH
• Deepen your practice of self-trust.
spends two hours walking one-way to gather muddy water doesn’t get to choose how much she gives. And that isn’t an argument for you to be a martyr. Instead, become a force of love and balance in the world in hopes that one day all people can choose an emotionally and physically sustainable life.