Aspire Magazine - Jun/Jul '14 - Living From the Inside Out Featuring Nancy Levin by Aspire Magazine

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CONTENTS On the Cover

Nancy Levin Nancy Levin, Ford Institute Certified Integrative Coach, Hay House Event Director and bestselling author of Jump … And Your Life Will Appear as well as Writing for My Life. Cover Photo Credit: Richard Cummings www.RickPhoto.com

APRIL | MAY 2014

LIVING FROM THE INSIDE OUT

Wisdom & Self-Growth 20 INTERVIEW WITH NANCY LEVIN by Linda Joy Aspire Magazine is honored to introduce you to Nancy Levin. Nancy, bestselling author of Jump … And Your Life Will Appear and Writing For My Life, is a Certified Integrative Coach through The Ford Institute For Transformational Training. Since 2002, she’s been the Event Director at Hay House, Inc. producing experiential events and innovative conferences, focusing on selfempowerment, health and spirituality, while weaving in her own story and poems to connect with audiences around the world during keynotes, workshops and seminars. When she’s not on an airplane, Nancy lives in Boulder, Colorado where she received her MFA from Naropa University.

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24 THE BIRTH OF MY FIRST BOUNDARY by Nancy Levin Most of us have an inner dialogue that tells us we’re not enough, that we’re not lovable. Refusing to set healthy boundaries is one of the primary ways we express that belief. As Hay House Event Director, coach, and author Nancy Levin discovered during her own life crisis, if we want to live fulfilled lives, however, we have to let go of the belief that the needs and opinions of others are more important or valid than our own. It’s time to face and embrace your fears, create the courage necessary to take the leap toward self-love, and reap the rewards of the unforeseen gifts and opportunities that await you upon landing.

CONTENTS 27 HOW A JOURNEY IN DOWNSIZING HELPED HEAL MY BROKEN HEART by Kristi Ling Last year Kristi Ling made a huge decision to drastically downsize her life. Her 10-year marriage had come to a heart-wrenching end in 2012, and in early 2013 she found herself living alone in a very large house, surrounded by silence and a decade’s worth of accumulated possessions. Her heart was broken, and for the first time in her life, she had no plan. Sometimes putting your life back together begins with taking everything apart.

““Intuition is a sense of knowing how to act spontaneously, without needing to know why.” SYLVIA CLARE

30 THE CONFESSIONS OF AN APPROVAL ADDICT by Amy Pearson Despite all her achievements Amy Pearson had created a life that didn’t fit in with her. After years of maintaining an outside persona of perfection, likeability and competence, she finally dropped the façade and learned how to be true to herself, no apologies. She was finally able to create a life that fit her. Learn what a former approval addict can teach you about creating a life that fits your true self.

33 CLAIMING YOUR CREATIVE POWER! by Cari Murphy We can get stuck in auto-pilot living without even realizing it! It’s time to wake up, claim your personal power, and begin deliberately creating your reality. There is where the magic happens! Soul Success Coach Cari Murphy guides you through some introspective questions to support you in shifting your perspective and allowing the invisible to become visible. 36 INTUITION: 6 TIPS TO FIND YOUR INNER WISDOM AND PERSONAL PATH by Mal Duane Not following your inner wisdom or intuition is like being lost and being too proud to ask for directions, all the while having a functional GPS system on board. Women’s Life Recovery Coach Mal Duane shares six tips to reconnect with your intuition and discover your personal path.

CONTENTS 39 RECONNECTING WITH MY INNER GODDESS by Mary E. Pritchard, Ph.D. Last spring Mary Pritchard, Ph.D. woke up to the realization that she was “living the wrong life” and took action that forever changed the trajectory of her life. In this intimate article Mary shares how she has come to see her awakening as a sacred gift as she learned to live her life from the inside out. Mary shares five steps to help you reconnect with your inner goddess so you too can start living life from the inside out.

“If you can’t get a miracle, become one.” NICK VUJICIC

42 SOUL WISE LIVING: ACCESSING THE WISDOM WITHIN by Laura Clark It seems like there are very few moments nowadays when you can be alone, in solitude. It is in moments of solitude that you can consciously shut out your inner interference and learn to hear and trust your inner wisdom. Discover some tips for using the elements of nature to access the wisdom within.

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45 LETTING GO OF ATTACHMENTS TO STUFF AND PEOPLE by Deb Scott Sometimes letting go of attachments to material items and the people in our lives is a conscious choice, and sometimes, we have no choice at all. Yes, pruning can often hurt, but when we learn to detach with love and compassion we allow ourselves to see what truly matters.

CONTENTS

“Don’t try to comprehend with your mind. Your minds are very limited. Use your intuition.” MADELEINE L’ENGLE

Health & Wellness 48 LIVING THE GODDESS LIFESTYLE: THE TRUTH ABOUT HAPPINESS by Lisa Marie Rosati Happiness is an inside job and BE-ing happy is a choice you must make every moment of every day. It is in our times of resistance to ‘what is’ that we struggle and seemingly paddle our canoe upstream. When we learn to go with the current, practice acceptance and nonattachment we begin to experience inner peace and happiness. Columnist Lisa Marie shares ten journaling prompts and questions to support you on your happiness journey.

52 HOW TO WIPE OUT THE FEAR AND DISCOMFORT OF ANXIETY by Shann Vander Leek In How to Wipe Out the Fear and Discomfort of Anxiety, Transformation Goddess and Anxiety Slayer, Shann Vander Leek teaches you how to calm your fragile mind with supportive anxiety relief recommendations that you can implement today to feel more peace and tranquility in your life.

56 THE WISE WOMAN WAY: I AM BEAUTIFUL! I AM THE GODDESS! by Susun S. Weed Wise Woman Susun Weed offers a radical proposal that you apply yourself to becoming beautiful on the inside and accept the outside and all its changes. This new way of thinking means accepting your face and body as they are and get on with the important work of being a beautiful soul. There is a Wise Woman Within. She is always with you. She is your true mirror. She speaks the truth. She is the essence of bliss. Let the Wise Woman Within teach you about being.

CONTENTS Relationships

60 TRANSFORMING YOUR RELATIONSHIP: HOW TO BE LOVED FOR YOUR MOST AUTHENTIC SELF by Stacey Martino As you allow your authentic self to show up in your intimate relationship you will begin to witness miraculous changes in yourself and in your relationship. It is from that intimate place of authenticity that we can align with our partner and create a love and passionfilled relationship. Being in alignment with your partner is loving, cherishing and appreciating them for their most authentic self and being loved for your most authentic self.

“What good is intuition if your heart gets in the way of hearing it?” SHANNON L. ADLER

65 SELF-LOVE AS THE PREREQUISITE FOR SOUL-HEARTED LOVE by Debra Reble, Ph.D. Entering a soulhearted partnership with another person requires us to first open our hearts and unconditionally love ourselves. When we love ourselves, we become our own safe haven, where we feel free to fully express who we are and realize our dreams. Psychologist Debra Reble shares two powerful selflove practices to open your heart to love.

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68 TEACHING OUR CHILDREN THE JOY OF BEING GRATEFUL by Dr. Caron B. Goode, NCC

Gratitude is more than an attitude. Recent studies show that grateful people are happier, more resilient, and less depressed. They also have higher self-esteem and better relationships. These results prove that gratitude is more than polite manners and positive thinking. Gratitude is a way of life, and a wonderful legacy to leave our children. Dr. Goode shares seven simple ways to teach your children gratitude.

CONTENTS Career | Business 72 THREE KEYS TO FINDING YOUR PURPOSE by Megan Dalla-Camina Have you ever found yourself searching desperately for your purpose, or avoiding what you just know is your true calling? Our callings shape us. They grow us into the person we were born to be. Megan DallaCamina, strategist, coach, and speaker on women, leadership and wellbeing as well as the author of Getting Real About Having It All shares some of the strategies that she uses with her clients, who often come to her as seekers for what they are truly meant to be doing in this life.

“You must give up the life you planned in order to have the life that is waiting for you.” PERSONS NAME

76 INSPIRED TO WRITE? DECISION TIME? TUNE INTO YOUR INNER MUSE FOR WISDOM, INSPIRATION AND CLARITY by Lisa Tener Do you struggle to make clear decisions? Do you continually look outside of yourself for wisdom and clarity? Make empowered decisions by turning to your inner muse – your wise inner teacher who serves as source of creativity, inspiration and ideas. Your Muse also knows exactly what you need at any given moment to support your creative processes and decision making. National Book Coach Lisa Tener guides you through a process to help you tune into your inner muse.

LINDA JOY

Publisher & Editor-In-Chief | Linda@aspiremag.net

Creative & Brand Direction || RACHEL DUNHAM | www.HummingbirdCreativeConcepts.com Editorial Layout || MANDY GATES | www.GruveDesign.com Graphic Designer || MANDY GATES | www.GruveDesign.com COO || KIM TURCOTTE | www.SoulPurposeBusinessSolutions.com MAILING ADDRESS || P.O. BOX 1149 | LAKEVILLE, MA 02347 | 508.265.7929 ADVERTISING || Email Linda@aspiremag.net MISSION TO INSPIRE INFO <CLICK HERE>

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EXPERT COLUMNISTS STACEY MARTINO

LISA MARIE ROSATI

Stacey Martino helps people who feel stuck, frustrated and helpless with the challenges of intimate relationship. Through strategic private coaching, programs and events for her Relationship Transformation System™, individuals learn to use her proven strategies and tools to create an unshakable love and unleashed passion that lasts a lifetime. Stacey firmly believes that it does NOT take two to tango, that one person can significantly shift the dynamics of the relationship. Trained and certified by Tony Robbins and Cloe Madanes, Stacey is a certified marriage educator and divorce preventionist. Click Here for Articles www.LoveandPassionCoach.com

Passionista Lisa Marie Rosati is an Inner Goddess Catalyst for women and the Creatrix of The Goddess Lifestyle Plan. Lisa mentors women on how become a Modern Day Goddess by consciously designing a luscious Goddess life, cultivating radiant health and creating a lucrative business using and directing their feminine fire. www.GoddessLifestylePlan.com www.sugarfreegoddess.com

SUSUN WEED

LISA TENER

Susun Weed is an internationally renowned herbalist, author, and director of the Wise Woman Center in New York. She is a revered voice of the Wise Woman Tradition, where women’s bodies and women’s emotions are valued. Susun is a founding grandmother of the herbal renaissance and the originator of the concept of complementary medicine. www.SusunWeed.com

An award-winning authority on writing and publishing books, Lisa Tener guides you to joyfully express yourself in writing. She blogs for the Huffington Post, serves on the faculty of Harvard Medical School’s publishing course, and teaches her own Award Winning Book Writing Courses in person and by interactive teleseminar. www.LisaTener.com

Transforming Your Relationship

The Wise Woman Way

Living the Goddess LifeStyleTM

Inspired to Write?

FEATURED CONTRIBUTORS

NANCY LEVIN

MEGAN DALLA-CAMINA

KRISTI LING

AMY PEARSON

CARI MURPHY

DEB SCOTT

SHANN VANDER LEEK

MAL DUANE

MARY E. PRITCHARD, PH. D., HHC

LAURA CLARK

DEBRA REBLE, PH. D.

DR. CARON B. GOODE

YOUR WISDOM! WITH OUR READERS

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LETTER EDITOR

FROM THE

”Nothing can dim the light which shines from within.” MAYA ANGELOU

Welcome to the June/July 2014 Living from the Inside Out Women often get snared in the grizzly trap of looking outside themselves for approval, love and happiness. Reaching out for external validation fuels a perpetual roller-coaster of drama, discomfort and insecurity. As we learn to turn inward, we begin the dance with the one inside of us who knows. Our inner wisdom teaches us of the truth of who we are, paving the way to interact with the world in a while aligned with our highest calling. Throughout this love and wisdom filled issue you’ll discover the tips, tools and resources to support you in turning inward and honoring your inner wisdom. As Nancy Levin shares in her intimate cover interview “It’s only through facing the truth that we will be able to fulfill our potential and live a life of alignment.” Are you ready to honor the calling of your soul?

Connect with me! om/ http://www.Facebook.c lindajoyinspires

Grab a cup of tea or a glass of wine and enjoy the powerful articles, empowering wisdom and supportive resources offered by our expert columnists and featured guest contributors.

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LINDA JOY Publisher & Editor-In-Chief | Linda@aspiremag.net

Here’s What I’m Reading Right Now...

FROM MY BOOKSHELF

Living with Joy: Keys to Personal Power & Spiritual Transformation (25th Anniversary Edition) By Sanaya Roman If you haven’t read Sanaya Roman’s channeled books this is a great place to start. Channel Sanaya Roman presents Living with Joy, given to her by Orin, a timeless being of love and light. In the tradition of Jane Roberts, Esther Hicks, and Edgar Cayce, this channeled book shares spiritual truths and transformative meditations and exercises that have opened hundreds of thousands of people to their greater potential.

ATTN: Service-Based Business Women

Without Struggle or Frustration!

Today, many women who own passion-driven, servicebased businesses are feeling frustrated. They are struggling to attract a consistent flow of perfect, paying clients.

They donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have clarity! Do You? CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT

Just How Much Business Clarity You Have

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WISDOM & SELF-GROWTH

“Learn to trust yourself and you will create a meaningful life.” Lynn Robinson

Read Online!

Awaken Your

Intuition

BY CARI MURPHY

Awakening your intuition requires nothing more than improving your spiritual “health” and generating some positive momentum! HERE ARE SEVEN EASY STEPS TO DO JUST THAT:

Communicate

Be Positive

Be Patient a nd Compassionate

Play

Meditate

Keep a D aily Momentum Journal

Be Creative

CHECK OUT MORE ONLINE!

AspireMag.net

Read the full article online.

l Live & Virtua

UPCOMING EVENTS

PARTNER WITH ASPIRE MAGAZINE IN THE INSPIRED LIVING GIVEAWAY || DETAILS! Transform Lives while Growing Your Biz 5 TIPS TO LIVING LIFE AS A SUGAR FREE GODDESS || DETAILS! Host Linda Joy & Visionary Creatix Lisa Marie Rosati RELATIONSHIP BREAKTHROUGH EXPERIENCE || DETAILS! Complimentary 3 part live event with Love & Passion Coaches Stacey & Paul Martino

Interview with

Nancy Levin Bestselling author of

Jump... and Your Life will Appear

Aspire Magazine is honored to introduce you to Nancy Levin. Nancy, bestselling author of Jump … And Your Life Will Appear and Writing For My Life, is a Certified Integrative Coach through The Ford Institute For Transformational Training. Since 2002, she’s been the Event Director at Hay House, Inc. producing experiential events and innovative conferences, focusing on self-empowerment, health and spirituality, while weaving in her own story and poems to connect with audiences around the world during keynotes, workshops and seminars. When she’s not on an airplane, Nancy lives in Boulder, Colorado where she received her MFA from Naropa University.

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In Jump... And Your Life Will Appear you share a powerful 10-step process of change that really spoke to me. How did those steps emerge on – and how do you know they work? Once I traversed my greatest fear and found myself on the other bank of the river, so to speak, I noticed that a clear path revealed itself to me. I saw that the stepping-stones (the 10 steps, I personally took toward my own flavor of freedom weren’t only applicable to this particular journey, but to making any major change.

That’s what I learned when things finally fell apart. The new was so much better. If I had just been able to let go sooner, I could have started that new life years before.

What happens when you stay in a situation that isn’t working, denying your own desire for too long?

In my case, of course, the jump involved a divorce, but for my clients it has worked with any kind of change—switching jobs or careers, moving to a different part of the world, setting boundaries, doing something totally new, increasing the capacity for self-love, or simply moving out of fear into profound courage and love. Whatever you want to change, wherever you want to jump, these steps are here to support you. How do I know these steps work? I’m living proof! And so are the clients I coach.

Your needs, your health, and your wellbeing begin to demand to be heard. Even if you don’t heed that call, the truth will come out. Unfortunately, it will come out sideways. Perhaps you’ll become ill or depressed and shutdown. Or if you’re like me, you’ll find yourself expressing those needs in destructive, self-sabotaging, self-abandoning ways. I betrayed myself by pretending to be someone I was not. I betrayed myself in my marriage for eighteen years. And that marriage was a long time to be away from me. Still, underneath the façade of perfection, somewhere deep down where I dared not look, I knew my marriage wasn’t working. I knew for a long time that I wasn’t really happy. But it took me years to admit to myself what I already knew.

You say that the first step is “Admit to Yourself What You Already Know” – but don’t we already know what we know?

Your journey since jumping has been a transformational one. What’s a key lesson that you’ve learned from journey?

The big jump that I’m most passionate about is facing what is true. It’s only through facing the truth that we will be able to fulfill our potential and live a life of alignment. When something is “off” in your life, you know it. And when you’re unwilling to accept it, it takes an incredible amount of energy to stay in denial—energy that could be used toward letting go of the old and inviting in the new.

I’ve learned that betraying yourself can never be the price you pay to avoid betraying someone else. We don’t serve anyone if we are pretending. We only serve their façade—the part of them that is in denial and unwilling to admit what they already know. We don’t owe anyone the denial of who we are. Ultimately, our souls are longing to be whole and free. If you ignore the whispers, if

“IF WE WANT TO LIVE FULFILLED LIVES, HOWEVER, WE HAVE TO LET GO OF THE BELIEF THAT THE NEEDS AND OPINIONS OF OTHERS ARE MORE IMPORTANT OR VALID THAN OUR OWN.” you’ve frozen out feeling, your soul will start screaming to be heard and take you out at the knees.

Nancy, forgiveness is a hot topic lately, please share why it’s so important to your process. I believe that transformation isn’t truly possible without forgiveness, both of yourself and others. If you’re still holding on to negative, judgmental energy that could be used more productively in your life, ask yourself what you need to forgive in order to move forward. Is there some feeling of resentment that’s holding you back—either toward yourself or someone else? Are you resisting your birthright to pleasure, joy and love? Forgive and release any negativity that has a hold on you. And then breathe in freedom. You have a whole new future ahead of you!

The term setting boundaries sounds so restrictive. One of your teachings is that boundaries create freedom – I like that perspective. Can you expand on that?

As children, we learn to respond in ways that bring us the least stress and trouble— and that often means allowing ourselves to be moved by others’ wants and needs. But as adults, we have to learn to get past our

www.AspireMAG.net | June / July 2014

ingrained fears and make clear choices. Many of us have an inner dialogue that tells us we’re not enough, that we’re not lovable. Refusing to set healthy boundaries is one of the primary ways we express that belief. If we want to live fulfilled lives, however, we have to let go of the belief that the needs and opinions of others are more important or valid than our own. We have to stop taking it personally when someone disagrees with us. We have to stop believing that if we disagree with someone or ask for what we want, we’ll end up alone and unloved.

You talk about the importance of visualizing your life of freedom. How did visualization help you move through such a difficult part of your life? Visualizing myself as divorced gave me a new perspective and allowed me to reframe my situation. It was only then that I could begin to feel excited about the possibilities for my life. You don’t actually have to make the leap in order to reap the benefits of a new possibility. All you have to do is start to visualize different possibilities. By willingly considering what potentialities may exist in the abyss of the unknown, you can begin to imagine yourself free.

What did you learn about asking for help? I had projected the image of “superwoman,” and it turns out that everyone actually believed me! By asking for help, I learned that revealing my vulnerability made me more human and relatable to others. The result was that we were able to have real connection. I slowly started allowing people to see all of me—my “efficient” self and the part of me who throws up her hands and says, “I don’t know.” Feeling “helpless” wasn’t necessary anymore, though, because help was always available to me. I only had to ask.

You talk about honoring resistance and grief in order to move forward. Can you go a little deeper into your thoughts on this? Honoring your grief is similar to honoring your resistance, but there’s a subtle difference: Grief is just a feeling; it isn’t a setback. It’s a passing visitor. Unlike resistance, which will do anything to keep you from moving forward, grief simply wants to be felt. None of us likes change. Our natural impulse is

“...betraying yourself can never be the price you pay to avoid betr aying someone els e. We don’t owe anyone the denial of who we are.”

to come up with all sorts of reasons why we should stay right where we are. You can expect your mind to start making a case for why change is impossible and why you shouldn’t do it. But you can’t let go of something that you haven’t fully felt, so there’s nothing to do but let the grief come. The only way you can truly say goodbye to anything is to allow everything you feel about it to be fully felt. This isn’t the same as wallowing in your pain; it’s about allowing your feelings to have their say. No graceful exit can happen until you accept what has been.

Since your decision to jump and say ‘yes’ to yourself and your happiness, how has this new outlook transformed your life? As I made my jump and learned to say yes more often, here’s what I realized: There is no destination. You’re never “there.” You’re always becoming. You’ll always be jumping—over and over and over. And that’s a good thing. When so many new opportunities came my way after leaving my marriage, I thought to myself, “I must remember that it happens this way! If I let go, trust, and jump, I will be safe and showered with extraordinary surprises.” Even though the change was very painful at times, I didn’t die the first time I jumped, and I could remind myself I wouldn’t die the next time either! Allow the wiser part of you to counsel the frightened part of you. Regular small jumps followed by big leaps are a part of the package. Remember, in order to risk anything, we have to be willing Read Online! to risk everything.

The Birth of My

FIRST

Boundary BY NANCY LEVIN

ot caving in and going back to my husband was the first boundary I had ever set with him. But it was more than that: It was the first boundary Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d set with anyone in my entire life. It was the first time I ever thought purely about my own needs, the first time I ever chose myself over another person. It was huge. 24

www.AspireMAG.net | June / July 2014

It was just two weeks before my husband started emailing and calling me again. Empowered by the boundary I had set in my first email, I sent him another stating that the four-week period would start over every time he contacted me. I gave him the date, time, and number to call a month later when I would have my therapist on the line with us on a conference call. I also let him know that I would not speak with him again unless a third party was present.

Leaving my marriage and getting him out of my head felt like what I imagine it might feel like to leave a cult. As my mind began to clear and settle, and as my habit of reactivity and walking on eggshells began to lessen and loosen, setting boundaries became easier.

When you set new boundaries, you may at first feel as though you have a new pair of legs. You might feel off balance, but it won’t last forever. On the day we were scheduled to reconnect, he did not call the conference line at the appointed time. Instead, he called my cell phone and left repeated voicemails. The messages started soft and sweet and built to full-blown rage and threats when I didn’t respond. Gratefully, Cheryl and my sister had made a pact to listen to

his voicemails for me and only relay what I absolutely needed to know. This prevented the toxicity from entering my system and weakening my resolve. With their help, I was able to stick to my guns. On June 15, 2010—another date I will never forget—I decided I was never going back. The months that followed were a blur. I filed for divorce, met with lawyers, went through a painfully long mediation, agreed to a settlement, and got the dissolution decree. During all of that time, my husband and I never spoke or saw one another. I was finally able to set a boundary—and keep it. Having set my own boundaries for the first time, I was no longer reacting or responding to someone else. I was suddenly able to act from a clean, clear place. It was amazing. But while I felt stronger in some ways, I also felt like a young colt trying to walk for the first time—which is fitting, since I was indeed birthing a new identity. My legs felt gangly, like I could barely stand. Of

WISDOM & SELF-GROWTH

And that one step inspired me to set more boundaries. Necessary ones. Leading up to my divorce, I eventually told my husband that I wanted four weeks straight of no contact whatsoever—no emails, no voicemails, no Facebook messages. I also told him that I would not respond to threats— period. (Unfortunately, it had come to that.) It was so difficult for me to send that email to him that Cheryl Richardson and Debbie Ford literally had to help my finger press “send” on my laptop. Setting such a firm boundary was not in my repertoire.

course, I did learn to stand on my own two feet again, and this book is a testament to that. It took some time, but it happened eventually. So, take heart! When you set new boundaries, you may at first feel as though you have a new pair of legs. You might feel off balance, but it won’t last forever. Yes, it can be very scary to operate from a place of what you want, especially when you’re a people-pleaser like me. As children, we learn to respond in a way that brings us the least stress and trouble—and that often means allowing ourselves to be moved by others’ wants and needs. But as adults, we have to learn to get past our ingrained fears and make clear choices. Most of us have an inner dialogue that tells us we’re not enough, that we’re not lovable. Refusing to set healthy boundaries is one of the primary ways we express that belief. If we want to live fulfilled lives, however, we

“If we wan t to live fulfi lled lives we have to let go of th e belief that the ne eds and op inio others are more impo ns of rtant or valid than our own.” Nancy

Levin

www.AspireMAG.net | June / July 2014

have to let go of the belief that the needs and opinions of others are more important or valid than our own. We have to stop taking it personally when someone disagrees with us. We have to stop believing that if we disagree with someone or ask for what we want, we’ll end up alone and unloved. Read Online!

Nancy Levin – Nancy Levin, bestselling author of Jump … And Your Life Will Appear and Writing For My Life, is a Certified Integrative Coach through The Ford Institute For Transformational Training. Since 2002, she’s been the Event Director at Hay House, Inc. producing experiential events and innovative conferences, focusing on self-empowerment, health and spirituality, while weaving in her own story and poems to connect with audiences around the world during keynotes, workshops and seminars. When she’s not on an airplane, Nancy lives in Boulder, Colorado where she received her MFA from Naropa University. Visit Nancy at www.NancyLevin.com and download her complimentary 10 Steps to Letting Go and Leaping report.

DOWNSIZING Helped Heal My

Heart

BROKEN

BY KRISTI LING

ast year I made a huge decision to drastically downsize my life. My 10year marriage had come to a heart-wrenching end in 2012, and in early 2013 I found myself living alone in a very large house, surrounded by silence and a decade’s worth of accumulated possessions. I didn’t know where I was going from there, and at times, it felt like I didn’t have the energy to care. My heart was broken, and for the first time in my life, I had no plan. I remember standing in the middle of the living room feeling overwhelmed by all the responsibility I was facing in the wake of what I’d been through. Sometimes putting your life back together begins with taking everything apart.

WISDOM & SELF-GROWTH

How a Journey in

In that moment there in the living room, I suddenly felt very clear about what I needed to do next. I wanted to downsize. Not just a little, but drastically. I wanted to sell the big, stucco house with no yard and find a small home with a garden. I wanted to travel. To simplify. To live freely. I realized then that the beautiful future that could be waiting for me in my new life was currently buried under a ton of stuff. I went on a crusade to sell, donate or give away as much as I could. My goal was to lose 70% of it. A big challenge, and one I felt completely empowered by. Once I began my mission, the doors that started to fly open for me blew me away. The house sold in 48 hours for more than the asking price. The perfect home for me appeared a tiny house surrounded by trees on nearly a quarter acre along side the Los Angeles River, and my offer was accepted over 18 others. Help was coming to me from every direction in unexpected forms. I knew in my heart that the Universe had my back, and I felt supported. With every step in my downsizing journey, my heart was healing, and at the same time, opening again. A new man had entered my life who was kind, funny, and compassionate, and who had also just sold nearly everything he owned in an effort to live more by having less. I began to see how our shared values and similar battle scars could be the beginnings of a foundation for something great, and I made the daring decision to be vulnerable again. The steps I’d been taking to lighten my load and take charge of my life, along with the healing work I’d been doing internally,

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Sometimes putting your life back together begins with taking everything apart. allowed me to be open to a new relationship, new ways of living, new friendships, and other new opportunities from a place of wholeness instead of lack, which made all the difference. After escrow closed on my old home, I said a teary goodbye that was both emotional and cathartic, and put the remainder of my possessions into storage. All but a single suitcase. I had 30 days until I could move into my new home – what to do!? I’d taken the month off work, had no stuff, and no place to be. I was a free bird, and it felt pretty amazing. I went to stay on a fold-out couch with my new guy where he’d been staying in a guest room at the home of some of my best friends. We all lived in community for a month, sharing stories and meals by the pool, laughing, crying, dreaming, and making plans. I could feel and see the color and light coming back to my world. And you know what? I didn’t miss the stuff. Not one single thing, not for one moment. I didn’t even think about it, and it was truly eye opening. I had a truckload of possessions hidden away in storage, and for weeks I forgot any of it even existed.

It seemed that what I needed kept appearing at just the right time. I finally felt that I wanted to begin again putting energy back into serving through my writing, speaking, and coaching, and I was amazed at how my experiences had empowered me to be stronger in every area. The lessons that have come from this past couple of years will fuel me for the rest of my life. I thought moving on from my old life and into a new one would be one of the hardest things I would ever have to do, and it was. But, what I wasn’t expecting was that it would also be one of the most enlightening journeys I’ve ever made. I learned that simplicity, Love, authentic forgiveness, vulnerability and minimalism are the keys to creating a truly free life filled with light. I learned that getting really clear about what you want often times starts with getting really clear about what you really don’t. This morning, in the middle of writing this article, my 11-year old German Shepherd, Venus, escaped the yard after the gardener accidently left the gate open. After several minutes of frantic searching, I found her a few blocks away sniffing around, happily trotting and wagging her tail, making new friends. Relieved, I bent down and put my arms around her. I looked her in the eyes

and I could see a spark of bubbling joy. I realized that in those few minutes of wild abandon, she probably felt much the way I did during those healing days of freedom by the pool with my beloved tribe. Instead of being angry with Venus for going out on her little adventure, I scratched her on the head with an understanding touch, and she followed me home. I was grateful to her for reminding me that there are few things more valuable in life than life than living freely, and the willingness to allow ourselves to heal and grow by stepping out of what we’ve always known to Read explore uncharted waters. Online!

Kristi Ling - Kristi is a happiness strategist, life and business coach, author, and speaker working to help others create joy and realize their dream life. She creates and leads empowering live events and online courses, and works with individuals and companies on building a firm foundation for lasting happiness and success. Learn more about Kristi at www.kristiling.com

“Sometim es putting your life b ac with takin k together begins g everyth ing apart .” Kristi

Ling

WISDOM & SELF-GROWTH

When I moved into my new home, I was very selective about what I brought with me. Half of what had been in storage didn’t make the cut. I spent time writing and working in the garden, and decided to turn the property into a small, sustainable urban farm. I added vegetable beds and a chicken coop, and brought the neglected fruit trees back to life. As the land flourished, my spirit did too.

The

CONFESSIONS

Approval

of an

ADDICT BY AMY PEARSON

ello my name is Amy and I’m an “approval addict,” recovering with the occasional relapse.

best parties, make great money at a job I loved, I thought my life would feel as sparkly and shiny as it looked on the outside.

Confessions of a Gold Star Chaser

Wrong.

I’m a “Performer.” What this means is that for most of my adult life, I’ve been chasing “gold stars” to get other people to approve of me.

The Hamster Wheel

Not just approve, actually, to adore me. I wanted people to see me walking down the street and say, “there goes Amy. Did you know she solved the hunger problem? How does she do it and stay so thin?” If I could get the Entire Known Universe to like me, I figured I’d always be invited to the

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My life was a hamster wheel of constant striving -- seeking out one accomplishment after another (and I had to look perfect doing it.) There was always another ten pounds to lose, another person to impress, another incomplete task on my enormous to do list. I didn’t know it at the time but I was living in a self-imposed prison. I was trying to be someone I wasn’t so anxiety was my only real companion.

My Life Didn’t “Fit In” with Me I had created a life that didn’t fit me at all, just to feel a sense of belonging, to fit in. I was maintaining a persona that wasn’t me, so I could feel good about myself. But it wasn’t working and I couldn’t figure out why. I thought the solution was to achieve more, lose more weight, do better, be better. Does any of this sound familiar?

It’s Normal to Want Approval The thing is, wanting approval is normal. In fact it’s a biological drive rooted in the human need for security. The problem is that a lot people internalize the idea that parts of themselves – their quirks, mistakes, things that happened to them, things that happened in their family– are NOT fit for human consumption. So they hide. They hide parts of themselves they don’t want other people to know about. Because they’re certain if people knew the truth… “Well they definitely wouldn’t hang out with me, or invite me to their parties and they certainly wouldn’t hire me.” I call it an “approval seeking façade.” Contrary to popular belief, not everyone goes into “people pleaser” mode to get

approval. Which is why I created eight “Approval Seeking Personality Types.” The truth is we all have a persona, many depending on the circumstance. I act differently when I’m coaching a client than I do when I’m with my kids. The problem isn’t the persona. The problem is when you use it to extract approval or avoid rejection from other people—at your expense. You start to think that persona is Who You Really Are. You end up living a life that your true self would never recognize.

Flash forward ten years: I’m no longer hiding behind a persona that doesn’t fit. And because of that my life is a true reflection of who I am, quirks and all.

I’m not trying to be all things to all people. In fact, I’m not trying at all. It’s effortless to be me, no apologies. Being me, no apologies, is what allows me to create a life that finally fits.

BEING ME, NO APOLOGIES, IS WHAT ALLOWS ME TO CREATE A LIFE THAT FINALLY FITS. 31

WISDOM & SELF-GROWTH

The gold stars I was chasing were leading me further and further away from the life I really wanted. I was trying to win over people I didn’t like. I was in a prestigious job for the prestige, nothing else. I was letting the bathroom scale dictate my self worth and I was racking up more and more credit card debt trying to look perfect.

I’ve created a community over at LiveBrazen. com. Thousands have taken my classes and programs. People are calling me a thought leader. But most importantly, I’ve found my purpose and it connects perfectly with my passion. My success has nothing to do with being better than you. It’s not because I’m smarter or better looking… It’s because I’m willing to be myself, uncensored, no apologies.

YOU are magnetic. YOU are fascinating. And YOU can find the life that fits you.

5 Questions to Ask Yourself…

How do you hide?

Do you try to appear smarter or more competent than you think you are? Maybe you wear certain clothes to “fit in.” Or hold back when you think your opinion might offend someone? These are examples of hiding.

2 What’s the “pay off”?

All lot ofpeople think they benefit from hiding. The truth is you’re pre-emptively rejecting yourself out of fear of potential rejection. Is it worth it?

3 What do you lose by hiding? Consider the “costs” of hiding. How much time do you spend trying to figure out what people will think? How does this impact you in your life? Are you having any fun?

When you stop hiding.

hat are you afraid might happen 4 Wif you to drop the persona? Read Online!

Cathleen Amy Pearson – Cathleen of LiveBrazen.com is a master certified Martha Beck life coach, a coach mentor and instructor for Martha Beck’s life coach training. She’s a teacher, coach, writer and speaker. A former approval addict (with the occasional relapse), she is now addicted to success. Her mission is nothing short of world peace by empowering every heart-centered entrepreneur to magnify their tribe, make great money and an epic impact while doing their unique thing in the world. Visit Amy at www.LiveBrazen. com and take The Approval Quiz now at www.approvalquiz.com to find out your approval seeking personality type.

www.AspireMAG.net | June / July 2014

People render themselves invisible to their people by trying to please the naysayers. Trust me, the naysayers will always be there, no matter what you do.

do you link your persona 5 Hwithow your sense of self? Approval seekers and rejection avoiders spend so much time chasing approval that when they do decide to stop, many don’t know what to do with themselves. Trust me, it can be scary, but all the good stuff waits for you on the other side!

WISDOM & SELF-GROWTH

Claiming Your

Creative POWER

BY CARI L. MURPHY

here is a unique opportunity before you RIGHT NOW that contains within it ripple effects to impact you far beyond this moment! It’s an opportunity to claim your creative power! You can liken each new moment as a spiritual crossroads of sorts. Your conscious participation in the creation of your day-to-day reality is more valuable than you realize. You are a part of the whole, and your choices impact the collective energy of this beautiful planet.

This is a time of remembrance and a time to awaken your soul memory. It’s time to activate your creative potential! And, guess what? It is INFINITE. Every day offers you this wondrous opportunity to shift out stagnancy and bring to light key *soul* insights necessary for you to take the next steps on your journey of expansion. This is your personal invitation to ignite new

levels of awareness and generate significant shifts in the course or direction of your life. You are at a powerFULL choice point. You have the option to deliberately decide what your destiny will BE! You have the option to choose your role in the evolution of yourself, your soul, and humanity. You have the divinely designed potential for assisting in the creation of a new earth; in birthing a loving new world. This occurs first within your own heart and mind, for the outer world is only a reflection of what’s going on within you. Consider this moment your opportunity to shine your light and remind others through the power of your example that we are ALL eternal, divine, and infinitely creative! To support this birthing process, you must make a commitment to yourself to choose

wake o t e im t “It’s your up, claim er, and w o p l a n o s per erately begin delib our creating y reality.” Murphy _ Cari L.

love as consistently as possible, and to speak, choose, and act from your heart with a new level of empowerment and awareness.

hy not claim this moment as a • Wreminder to lead from your soul as often as possible?

hy not claim this moment to stop, • Wre-align, re-evaluate, re-flect, recharge and deeply consider the ways you are currently using your energy?

You are more powerful than you realize. What is your predominant ‘signal’ that you are sharing with the world? Is it reflective of the purity of your true ‘home’ frequency? Is it love based or fear based? A good way to identify your answer is by simply noticing what’s coming back to you. The external world mirrors your predominant vibration, and your circumstances can be a wonderful tool reflecting the effectiveness of your vibrational

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signal or its ineffective, limiting effect. Ask yourself the following questions: • Which of my personal beliefs, patterns, perspectives and definitions are empowering me? • Which ones are in need of an upgrade? • Whom and what uplifts me? • Am I giving myself permission to follow my passion and do what excites me each day? • What drains me? What am I ready to release? You cannot make changes until or unless you identify that which limits you and that which expands you. Awareness = Personal Power. We can get stuck in auto-pilot living without even realizing it! It’s time to wake up, claim your personal power, and begin deliberately creating your reality. There is where the magic happens! There is no need to wait for a crisis to serve as spiritual wake up

It’s important to take inventory and begin clearing your physical, mental and emotional bodies from any collected debris preventing you from experiencing the depth and richness available to you. If this resonates, why not act upon your inspiration and examine your present circumstances? What unproductive energy has collected within you and around you that feels ready to be released? This is the time to “lighten up” and uncomplicating your life. It’s time to let go of all that no longer serves your highest good, eliminate the toxicity in your thoughts, emotions, your cells, your diet and your relationships, and cleanse yourself of all the build-up that’s weighing you down. There’s nothing else to do, except release and let go of all the ways that you are limiting your own growth and expansion. It’s as simple or as complicated as you make it out to be. As you commit to reclaiming your power, you will realize the limitations you’ve consciously or unconsciously placed upon yourself. You will BE inspired to shed the false beliefs, the false impressions and the shackles of your past that are imprisoning you in a finite world with a very limited menu of options available to you! It’s time to shift your perspective and allow the invisible to become visible. It’s time to re-member who you are. Everything else is but an illusion, and a detour to

realizing your true, infinite state of being.

ren’t you ready to claim the joy • Aavailable to you now? ren’t you ready to surrender, let • Ago of and allow all the toxicity of yesterday to wash away for good?

ren’t you ready to eliminate all • Athe struggle and just BE who you really are?

This is your option. This is your option right now, and I’m here to remind you that it doesn’t have to be a long, hard, arduous process! That’s only a limiting belief, and it can be updated to allow for a new result and outcome that thrills and delights your soul in brand new ways. Claim this opportunity to plant seeds of remembrance within the deepest recesses of your consciousness today, and trust that they will blossom and bloom into precious and beautiful experiences that are worthy are deserving of the brilliant, eternal being that you Read ARE. Online!

Cari Murphy – Cari is a Soul Success Coach, Speaker, and Award Winning Author of six books, including the International BestSellers Treasures of Heaven: Lessons from the Other Side and Create Change Now. As the Host of the Internationally Syndicated Radio Program “THE CARI MURPHY SHOW: STRAIGHT TALK FOR THE SOUL”, (named “Best Spiritual Radio Show for 2013 with over 750K listeners) the President and CEO of Empowerment Coaching Solutions, and a regularly featured seminar presenter, Cari is dedicated to empowering millions globally. Following a near death experience in 1997, Cari’s purpose became clear. She is passionately devoted to supporting conscious entrepreneurs build their businesses, and empowering her clients, audiences, and readers to unleash their greatest potential for claiming the inner worth and outer wealth they desire and deserve. Website: www.CariMurphy.com

WISDOM & SELF-GROWTH

call. In this moment you can choose to take inventory of your life. NOW is the time to release all that no longer serves you to make room for all that does. Take baby steps if that feels best. Do whatever works for YOU. Just DO something!

Intuition:

Wisdom 6 Inner Personal Path Tips to Find Your

and

BY MAL DUANE

“Be yourself- not your idea of what you think somebody else’s idea of yourself should be.” – Henry David Thoreau

efore I got sober and started to live the life I was meant to live, I would have thought the term ‘inner wisdom’ meant something ethereal and mystical and that I’d have to devote a lot of time burning incense, chanting and being nice to people I hated. Definitely not for me. I mean, back then, I would’ve smirked even if Oprah said it. I found out the hard way that not following your inner wisdom or intuition is like being lost and being too proud to ask for directions, all the while having a functional GPS system on board. The GPS doesn’t make mistakes and it’s uniquely yours. But I couldn’t find it with the drama and chaos and pain I was in. So what does it look like when we DON’T follow our inner wisdom? We go to law school instead of taking acting classes. We

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marry a guy who we have this tiny voice somewhere that says he isn’t quite right for us but we only find out 12 years later. We let family members control and meddle in our lives so we have no time and energy to discover ourselves and we take our cues on how we should live from people who don’t live the lives we want to be living. It’s that feeling of wanting to wear a different style or try something new and having anxiety about what someone else will have to say about it. Sometimes we don’t even realize it’s happening and we just go along to get along, feeling a faint dissatisfaction that we didn’t stray from the path. But then our rational minds quickly come up with a list of sensible “reasons” why the bright yellow heels were impractical or putting up with abuse because well, family is family, right? We make ourselves sick trying to shove

down outrage and sadness while looking nice and wearing a sensible twinset. Doesn’t it make you want to scream?

Get a role model. Beyoncé

recently said in the brilliant Ban Bossy campaign, “I’m not bossy, I’m the boss.” When you are indecisive about how to respond to someone disrespecting you, take a deep breath through your nose, slowly let it out of your mouth and do exactly what you think that person would do. Amelia Earhart said when asked why she wanted to cross the Atlantic, “I want to because I want to.” Complete sentence.

Materialism. Get rid of this mentality. Less is more. Buying things will never alter your GPS. Expect “the herd” to wonder why you don’t want to go to a fancy club and waste hundreds of dollars. You, yourself, are a more exquisite, exclusive brand than any logo you see on Pinterest. Baby, you’re a star. Focus in on your health, building savings for your security and peace of mind. Find out how to invest in your dreams, not someone else’s fantasy. Your worth and value is not dictated by your smart phone, your car or clothing.

WISDOM & SELF-GROWTH

Here are 6 tips to get out of this defeatist cycle and onto your life adventure! (Incense not included.)

Pro Tip: Anyone who thinks that way is someone you do not want to know anyway, so bonus, they saved you lots of time by showing you their snobbery and ignorance at the get go!

Things are going to get better. We are on the move. Did

you know that Marianne Williamson is running for Congress in California? Yes, the press calls her a “New Age” Guru. When asked if she could “handle” politics because she is an inspirational author and speaker she answered, “Spirituality is not in a separate category. It underlies everything. It has to do with the path of the heart. We all know that when you follow a path of your heart in your personal life, things go better, and when you do not, things are chaotic,” Williamson said. “If you look at what’s happening in our country today, there’s no path of heart. There is less and less of a path of even ethics or justice, and therefore things are chaotic.”

Whatever party you belong to or issues aside, isn’t it great to know that heart centered, conscious human beings can and will reshape our world?

Accept & Receive – When

your husband tells you your hair looks nice, don’t dismiss him. Acknowledge it. Give him a hug, look in his eyes and tell him thank you. A sign of shame is not making eye contact and keeping your head

down. Our old inner critic wants to reject compliments to reinforce what it grew up with, messages of criticism or maybe no acknowledgement at all. Let your guard down, embrace these moments and allow the other the person the pleasure of giving the compliment.

Trust & Believe – There is an infinite force of creation that we are all a part of. God or the Universe is filled with beauty and wonder. If you get to feeling lost and downtrodden, try to connect with this power and know you are a part of it and that it is a loving, creative force that wants your highest good. Nature is such a powerful way to recognize the beauty of creation and that imperfections are uniqueness, differentiators. We don’t look at a tree with strips of bark missing and call it “ugly” or want to cover it up. We notice the beauty of the white wood beneath, the moss growing and its majesty and strength. Jesus said the Kingdom of Heaven is within.

L et Go of People, Places and Things that do not Light You Up. Here’s a good test. When you get off the phone with someone, be it your mother, father, colleague, friend, take a moment to check in with how you feel. Do you feel angry, confused or drained? That’s a good indicator of how this relationship is affecting you. I’m not saying we don’t have conflict or ups and downs, but in general wouldn’t it be better to have relationships with people who support and uplift you?

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It is said we are a reflection of the five people closest to us. Make sure that your light is being turned UP, not dimmed. Someone needs to hear your voice and see your sparkle.

“Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become.” – Steve Jobs

We’re not here to fill a role in a dysfunctional family, strive to outdo our peers with material possessions or win competitions. We are here to develop our very special and individualized talents and skills to be able to help another person or humanity as a whole. We have lived long enough and seen enough history to see that if we don’t do this we are doomed. Follow your GPS; you are needed to change the world.

Read Online!

Mal Duane - Using her own life experiences as a catalyst, Life Recovery & Sobriety Coach and bestselling Author Mal Duane is passionately committed to empowering women in releasing the shackles of shame, pain and self-condemnation to live a life of passion and purpose. Mal is an esteemed “Architect for Change” and blogger on MariaShriver.com, host of the highly successful teleseries events Positive Mental Shift and Reclaim Your Life as well as the bestselling author of of Alpha Chick: Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power. Visit www.MalDuaneCoach.com to claim your free Life Recovery Guide Kit.

Reconnecting with My

WISDOM & SELF-GROWTH

InnerGoddess BY MARY E. PRITCHARD, PH. D.,

013 was a pivotal year for me – I got a divorce, moved, broke my heel for the second time in a year, and turned 40. But none of those were what shook me. What woke me up occurred during a meditation I had in April of 2013. In it, I received a powerful message: “You’re living the wrong life.” What did I do? I fought it, but the message kept coming back. Over the next few months, I realized that my inner guidance – which I had ignored for decades – was right. Although from the outside looking in it seemed as if I was living the ideal life – in actuality I was living an illusion. Yes, I had a good job that paid well. Yes, I was married to a man I had been with for 21 years. Yes, I lived in a place I loved. Yes, I had two dogs who were my constant companions. Yes, I was the person all of my friends and students looked up to and turned to for advice. But you know what was missing from that equation? Me.

Last Spring, I realized that I’ve spent most of my life running from myself – what I had become. Because somewhere deep in my soul I knew this person – my stage name, so to speak – professor, researcher, coach, wife, etc. – wasn’t who I really was. The truth is in that moment of awakening, which I’ve since come to see as a sacred gift from the Divine, the layers of false masks and beliefs that had kept me hiding my divine truth, my inner magnificence were instantaneously removed. That’s when I started living from the inside out. That’s when I connected to my Soul’s Purpose. That’s when I started being Me again. We all receive intuitive nudging from the Universe through gentle nudges, intuitive guidance, and life crisis but for many of women who like me have buried their sacred truth we wait for the COSMIC 2×4 to hit. I’m sure my story is no different from yours. I look back on the last 40 years and see years of major health crises, including a near death experience 15 years ago that should have awakened me much sooner to my truth. But I ignored all the signs. Why? Because a long time ago, I lost touch with my inner goddess. Rest assured, she never left me – she was there all the time, I just refused to listen to her in favor of following the expectations of those around me. And while that brought me success in my chosen profession, it never brought me peace. Instead, it always left me searching. But I never found what I was looking for because all along what I have been searching for has been inside of me, waiting patiently for me to plug in, reconnect. That day in April of 2013 I made a decision: It was time to stop living somebody else’s

www.AspireMAG.net | June / July 2014

life. Yes, it was scary. Yes, I’ve had ups and downs. But life is nothing if not a journey. What I first experienced as a rude awakening has turned out to be a Divine gift. As I have awakened my own goddess within and helped other women do the same, I have seen how being in touch with your own inner goddess can transform your life – if you let it. All you have to do is say YES!

5 Steps to Reconnecting with Your Inner Goddess

1 Acknowledge

What Brought You to This Point in Your Life – When I had

my rude awakening in April of 2013, I was experiencing a strong inner sense of disconnect – from myself, from my loved ones, from the Divine, from who I thought I wanted to be. I had to step back and ask myself, “What brought you here?” and decide whether I still wanted those things to be part of my life or not.

2 Accept Yourself for Who You Are – Even

when you feel bad there is nothing to fix. “Fixing” something implies that there is something wrong with you. There isn’t. Now that doesn’t mean that there is no healing that needs to occur. There is. But healing is different than fixing. Healing is about consciously reconnecting with the Divine and yourself, listening to your body’s wisdom, and allowing your connection with your inner goddess to shine through.

3 Keep

In Touch with Your Inner Goddess – Once I connected with my

4 Exercise

Your Goddess Power: Superwoman vs. Your Inner Goddess –

I’d love to tell you that as soon as I reawakened my Inner Goddess, my inner Superwoman was forever banished. Unfortunately, it’s been a constant struggle. After all, my inner Superwoman ruled for nearly 40 years; she is not about to give up the “good fight.” But whenever I find myself working 13- or 14- hour days, I just let that serve as another wake-up call to check in with my Inner Goddess. Fortunately, she is much less of a task master and is much more forgiving than is my inner Superwoman. Over time, you’ll find your inner Superwoman coming to the

5 New Goddess on the Block: YOU! –

Yes, you are a Goddess, but that doesn’t always mean that you’ll remember to listen to your inner goddess every time you should. It’s okay. Life is a journey – we learn it when we’re through. So take your time. Don’t expect change overnight. Keep acknowledging what brought you to this point in your life. Get support. It can also be helpful to keep plenty of positive affirmations close by: I Can Do This. I am Healing. Change is Possible. Or even my personal favorite from Mahatma Ghandi: Be the Change You Wish to See in the World.

It’s time to walk with you inner goddess and start living your life from the inside out! Read Online!

Mary E. Pritchard, Ph. D., HHC - Mary is a Professor of Psychology and Holistic Health Counselor. Mary’s extensive educational background combined with her personal passion and commitment to empowering women in healing their hormonal health naturally and reclaiming their Feminine Power empowers her clients to experience profound shifts in their health and life. Claim a complimentary copy of 10 Signs Your Inner Goddess is Calling You, an in-depth workbook, at www.AwakeningtheGoddessWithin.net.

WISDOM & SELF-GROWTH

inner goddess, She refused to go back into the hole in my mind where I kept Her. Instead, She has been very loud and very vocal. The amazing thing is that I have felt so much calmer since I reconnected with my inner goddess. I know She’s got my back. And so I find myself consciously choosing to do things every day that will allow me to connect with Her, like yoga, meditation, or getting a massage. I call them “Goddess Breaks” and they have become a cherished part of my day. Regardless of what you choose to do for a Goddess break, once you’ve activated your inner goddess, you may find that you need these Goddess breaks to stay connected to Her. You just awakened Her; the last thing you want to do is for her to go dormant again! Remember: if you don’t walk with Her, she’ll start sending you not-so-subtle reminders that you’ve been neglecting her.

forefront less often. In turn, you’ll find yourself more at peace and content being who you are living the life you were meant to live. To me, that sense of inner peace is worth a little struggle with my inner Superwoman now and again.

SOUL WISE LIVING:

ACCESSING the

Wisdom Within BY LAURA CLARK

hen was the last time you were truly alone? At home? At the office? Was it when the children were off at activities or your partner went out to shop? To be alone, did you have to go hike to the top of a mountain overlooking a vast vista of earth’s natural beauty? Or was it when you were on a boat seeing the expanse of water across the horizon? It seems like there are very few moments when we are physically alone in this world. And, because of this, solitude can seem overwhelming. It can be hard to be by yourself! We often don’t know what to do because it is such a new experience. But, we are never alone. We are always with our own best friend: our soul and our spirit. But many of us don’t feel that we are our own best friends but, when you are, VOILA, solitude is beautiful.

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SOLITUDE ~ it gives you

We’d rather be with others. Tribes and community are necessary, yes. Indeed, women are programmed to be in these. We are nurturers. We are healers. We are guides for others. Too, we seek nurturing, healing and guidance. It is easier now more than ever to do just this. With texts, emails, social media, cell phones, connectivity is EVERYWHERE. But, often times, we forget to look within for that connectivity. We forget to nurture and heal ourselves and we forget to look to our best friend (our soul) for guidance.

demands our attention and distracts us from peace. Interference comes from emotions that take us in the opposite direction of peace and quiet. This interference, when followed, takes us on a path far away from our own inner

beauty. Stepping away from this interference allows us to hear the wisdom of our best friend: our soul. When we hear these whispers and trust them, they will guide us forward each and every time. Finding time to hear those whispers is critical to allowing us to be at peace within. To remain calm when the interference around us tell us- almost demands us- to react without the same chaotic interference but rather than from the wisdom within. When you discover how to hear those inner whispers, you begin to understand that they are full of truth. Full of beauty and full of light. This is the truth about your own beauty and about your own light. The more, you discover it and hear it, the more it becomes you. The more you act with it. You have the confidence and courage to be that beauty. You have the confidence and courage to be that light. You begin to trust it. Then, indeed, you do not react to interference. You step forward being that inner whisper. You are that beauty that is your soul and your spirit. Then, you act as Joy. Then, you act as love. And, the more you do this, like anything in life, the easier it gets.

WISDOM & SELF-GROWTH

the chance to know yourself and your soul brings you to your truth and your inner beauty and allows THAT to shine. It brings forth all the joy that resides inside each of us. But to do this, you must embrace being alone. We are so surrounded by interference that often times we do not even know HOW to be alone anymore. And, by turning off external interference, we come face to face with our own internal interference. It can be that voice of self-doubt or under appreciation. No wonder we do not often turn off the external! Who wants that?

To do this, we need a space of little interference. Interference comes in so many forms. Outer interference is the news, it’s the gossip, and it’s the opinion of others telling us what to do and what not to do. Interference also comes from inner sources. It comes from our own negative thinking and old belief systems that no longer serve us. Interference comes from within in the form of physical pain that

So how do you discover how to be soul wise? Allowing yourself to access to yours soul’s wisdom easily is a matter of quickly disengaging from the interference. Disengagement means turning off the outer interference. It means actively seeking time by yourself. You can always disengage from the outer influences by simply turning off the electronics for a short period of time. You can literally turn off the volume of the interference from the news and social media. And dare I say don’t answer the phone or the text messages for a moment or two or even three? Turning off inner interference is easy too. It’s as easy as connecting with nature. Using the 4 elements of earth, air, wind, and water, you can stop the interference. Interference creates an imbalance of these 4 elements within us. Because each element correlates with a part of us, by using elements, you can quickly diminish the negative effects of that one aspect that is out of synch with your truth.

Read Online!

Laura Clark - Laura is known as the Soul Wise Living Mentor. She uses a unique blend of spiritual awakening tools to quickly create breakthroughs for her clients so they are able to flourish no matter the challenges they face. By doing so, they find greater purpose, abundance & Joy in their lives. Visit www.SoulWiseLiving.com and claim your complimentary audio, The Four Simple & Powerful Directions to Fully Living in Joy!

www.AspireMAG.net | June / July 2014

It is as easy as connecting with the four qualities of these elements anytime. You can: Use the quality of air to quiet your thought by focusing on a deep breath tames our inner thoughts. Allow the element of water to soothe your emotions is as easy as focusing on feeling water’s essence as you take a long drink. eel your feet connected with F the ground beneath and allow earth’s strength fill your body. urn a candle to re-ignite your B spirit and see the element of fire supports and fuels you.

Turning off all external and internal interference to hear the whisper of your soul is not hard. It involves choosing to turn off the volume of outer interference. It involves quickly using one of the four elements to re-align yourself to connect to that inner wisdom. The moment you truly realize you are never alone, is the moment you start living soul wise. This is the moment you begin to understand, that even in times of solitude; you always have YOU with you. By embracing hearing that inner whisper and living soul wise, you are guided to bringing that joy that resides in you to come out and play! You always have the version of your best self; the version of you that is joyful and is light.

Attachments to Stuff & People BY DEB SCOTT

have been doing a lot of letting go of attachments to stuff and people recently. Pruning can often hurt, but I truly believe it is a divine gift which has helped me more than anything else to grow a life worth living. When both my parents died within a year of each other, I didn’t plan to lose my life savings in a banking Ponzi scheme soon after. It was an acute loss of my illusion framing safety, security, meaning, identity and all the things the world claimed to promise me would make me happy. No one wants pain, I certainly didn’t. But in an ironic sort of way I find gratitude in my reflection of the struggle which emptied my soul of its past. Like a spoiled child who has a temper tantrum for not getting the toy it wants, I exhausted myself into acceptance.

Here are some of the lessons I learned. 1. You will find out how attached you are to

something or someone by the amount of pain you experience when it is gone.

2. Memories with the people you love are the only things that last. Prioritize your life to consciously build good ones.

3. Donating

items to people who have less thank you is the quickest route to gratitude and getting over any pity party in the ‘all about me’ show.

WISDOM & SELF-GROWTH

Letting Go of

4. W e all die; reflect often on your death if you want to truly live.

5. Don’t

buy the lie that any adulation from people or stack of name brand possessions will bring you happiness. The good acts you do expecting nothing in return are the truest source of solid internal peace and strength.

6. Don’t

judge, compare or feel selfrighteous that you can handle anyone else’s suffering better than they can. You will never know what you would do in any given situation unless you experience it yourself first-hand. Be kind.

7. Everything

is a gift, expect nothing in return, want what you already have and you will be happy.

I’m getting ready to sell the family home I grew up in now. The 1835 New England farm house where my grandmother died in my arms upstairs. “I’m ready to die, I love you.” I can hear her final words whispering through me like yesterday, and still feel the touch of that precise moment her soul left her body in my grasp. Life and death has an eternal moment marked for each one of us. Is it the letting go of attachments to stuff and people we invested so much of ourselves in acquiring, or the death of a distorted and dysfunctional illusion that we were ever in possession of them to begin with? Today, I like to observe myself and other people from a perspective of least and littleness. What do I mean by that? How do I or another react when the least desirable outcome arrives? How do I, or another, treat the littlest person

www.AspireMAG.net | June / July 2014

who can do nothing for them? It’s easy to be nice to someone who compliments you or tells you what you want to hear, but that situation will never reveal the truth of your values and who you are or anyone else. Look at who’s giving the compliments, not the one who is getting them. If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you know I love quotes. Quick little mind vitamins that help me refocus and reframe my thoughts. One of my favorites by Robert Louis Stevenson is,

“Don’t count your days by the harvest you reap, but instead by the seeds you plant.” Detaching with love from the stuff and people the world offers me is an equal opportunity to attach to the real wealth only available in the spiritual economy. The riches which bring my soul rest, heart peace, and the ability to experience a child-like sense of awe and wonder that each breath is a gift Read embraced by a divine purpose. Online!

Deb Scott, BA, CPC - Deb is a four time award winning author of, The Sky is Green & the Grass is Blue, a top rated best podcaster winner for, The Best People We Know Show, with over 1 million global listeners, and Top 1% Kred recipient in social media. Deb spent twenty years as a cardiovascular surgical specialist, winning numerous awards for outstanding sales and leadership skills. In her personal life, Deb battled sexual abuse, others’ alcoholism, dysfunctional relationships, depression, was the sole caregiver to both her parents who fought cancer to their death, and even experienced financial devastation. Today, Deb helps people turn things around in their business, or the business of living, with the discovery of the amazing you. Connect with Deb at: http://www.greenskyandbluegrass.com

HEALTH & WELLNESS

“Meditation is a tool to shake

yourself awake. A way to discov er what you love. A practice to ret urn yourself to your body when the mind medleys threaten to usurp your sanity.”

Geneen Roth

Is It

Read Online!

Perimenopause?

BY MARY E. PRITCHARD, PH. D., HHC Meditatio We all know to look for hot flashes and night sweats as early signs of menopause. But did you know that the earliest signs of perimenopause are often psychological or spiritual in nature? Women may suffer for years with early signs of hormonal imbalance and not even know it.

When you begin to embrace the holistic path to wellness you will learn that your symptoms are your body’s way of letting you know that it is out of balance and is asking for your help. By tuning into the wisdom of your body and its messages you can begin the healing journey of rebalancing your hormones naturally. Discover the Emotional, Spiritual and Physical signs of perimenopause five tips to support you on your journey. Read the full article online.

CHECK OUT MORE ONLINE!

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UPCOMING EVENTS

LIVING the

Goddess Lifestyle

The TRUTH about

Happiness H

BY LISA MARIE ROSATI

appy is such an interesting word to me…

What is happy? Where is happy? Is it a destination? A feeling? What I know for sure is that “happy” is not a place that you can arrive at and exhale … whew… all my work is done. I’ve arrived in “happyland” and now the rest of my life is going to be HAPPY!

That’s just not how Earth School works… Happiness is an inside job and BE-ing happy is a choice you must make every moment of every day. There were lots times in my life that I was the embodiment of unhappy. And when I look back introspectively at those times, I realize that I was in some sort of resistance to what had happened or what was happening in my life.

www.AspireMAG.net | June / July 2014

I didn’t want to accept what was… I was paddling my canoe upstream, against the current. It made me feel exhausted, frustrated and pissed off! My magical studies helped to snap me out of those looping patterns and Yoga teacher training helped a lot too. Yogis are taught to practice acceptance… and in order to practice acceptance, you must first begin with selfacceptance.

That’s a tough one for most women… I really desired more peace and flow in my life. I wanted to feel divine grace moving in my life so I was determined to find acceptance for EVERYTHING; especially the crappy things.

things didn’t go as I had hoped • W orhen planned. people did or said hurtful things • Wto hen me. hen I couldn’t buy something I really • Wwanted. Mike wouldn’t kiss • W myhenassmyandhusband try to make up with me during an argument.

hen my dogs went to the potty on my • Wpatio instead of their potty area on the property AGAIN!

• E tc…

Through my practice of acceptance, I realized just how much I naturally lived in a state of resistance to accepting what was. Have you ever noticed that it’s so much easier to feel unhappy than it is to pull yourself up to happy when things aren’t rolling out as you hope or going your way? It makes perfect sense really… happy is a high vibration and unhappy is a lower vibration so “happy” is harder to achieve… unless you become really good at having acceptance!

You cannot control other people’s behavior or outcomes in life but you can control how you respond to things. I can say without hesitation that nonattachment to results and acceptance to “what is” is the key to living a peaceful and

HEALTH & WELLNESS

You cannot control other people’s behavior or outcomes in life but you can control how you respond to things.

For Example:

graceful life. That’s not to say that I don’t want things… I can assure you that I do. I simply send my intentions into the Universe and back the desire up with aligned action… if it doesn’t work out, I have acceptance and faith that it wasn’t the right time and that the Universe has something even more wonderful and perfect in store for me.

It’s called Divine Timing… and I believe in it with every cell in my body. Now let’s address self-acceptance. To be truly happy you must first possess unconditional self-acceptance – because like I mentioned earlier, happiness is an inside job. Self-acceptance is a practice of cultivating self-compassion, letting go of guilt and shame and learning to forgive YOU. Happiness and self-acceptance go hand in hand. In fact, I’ll go as far as to say that your level of self-acceptance determines your level of happiness. The more selfacceptance you have, the more happiness you’ll allow yourself to accept, receive and enjoy. In other words, you enjoy as much happiness as you believe you’re worthy of. A Modern Day Goddess unconditionally loves and accepts herself. She knows and embraces her shadow self. Your shadow self is nothing more than something in you that has not yet been illuminated because they’re parts of you that are scary, repressed,

www.AspireMAG.net | June / July 2014

Questions To Help With Roadblocks To Attachment and Expectation: What would need to change in your attitude or responses for you to live your most delicious and empowered Goddess life, even if the roadblock(s) do not change?

2. If this roadblock is hard to get rid 3.

of or is beyond your control, how can you choose to experience it differently? If you can’t change your roadblock, how can you make peace with it?

4. What is this roadblock teaching

you? What is the gift this pain or struggle brings?

5. What good can come of this if

you allowed it to? How could this roadblock or struggle teach you compassion, or grace, or endurance, or acceptance?

socially unacceptable and/or norm violating (in your opinion) so you keep them hidden… on the down low in the dark corners of your soul. Once I stopped hiding my true nature, editing myself, apologizing for being me, dimming my light so others could feel less threatened and began speaking and living in alignment with my truth - out loud and with confidence… my happiness level went through the roof.

Why?

My lovely, life is a journey and we are all a work in progress… letting go of attachment and finding acceptance for what is in your life is the key to true happiness. My hope is that this article helped you to discover some gold nuggets of wisdom that will serve you well.

Read Online!

Passionista Lisa Marie Rosati – Passionista and Visionary Lisa Marie Rosati is a renowned Inner Goddess Catalyst for women, Creatrix of The Goddess Lifestyle Plan + Sugar Free Goddess, co-author of the international best selling book – “Embracing Your Authentic Self.” Lisa mentors women around the world on how to become a Modern Day Goddess by consciously designing how to get their health back, balance their feminine and masculine energies, ignite the fire within their souls and live a luscious goddess life filled with sacred practice, passion, radiant health, entrepreneurial success and prosperity.

1. Do you think happ iness lies within you? Or does it depe nd on other people or external things?

2. Was there a time in your life when you felt auth entically happy? If so, when ? 3. W hat factors crea ted your happiness back th en?

4. How has your life changed since that time? 5. What things in your life are you in resistance to? 6. W hat parts or trut hs about yourself have you hidden or suppressed? Are yo u embarrassed about any part of you? What things have you no t forgiven yourself about? 7. H ow can you begin to find selfacceptance and ac ceptance in your life? What do you need to let go of in order to heal from the inside out? Fo rgiveness, anger, jealousy, lack, ect… towards yourself or others? 8. W hat factors most influence your sense of happiness? And do you think that expect ations play a role? 9. I n what situatio ns can you turn your canoe around and travel with the current? 10. W hat could you st art doing right now that would br ing more ease and grace in your life?

HEALTH & WELLNESS

Because… I turned my canoe around and started to coast with life’s current; in alignment with Universal Law, my truth and without attachment to expectation. Living in the flow and without expectations is possible for everyone… including YOU. The first step is determining what thoughts, limiting beliefs or behaviors act as your roadblocks.

Some Questions Abo ut Happiness ToJourna l About:

How to Wipe Out the Fear and Discomfort of

ANXIETY BY SHANN VANDER LEEK

lmost five years ago I formed a collaborative partnership

with the fabulous Ananga Sivyer. Our intention was and still is to support people who suffer from the pain and discomfort of stress and anxiety. Since then, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve created loads of supportive resources, podcasts and albums dedicated to calming fragile minds all over the world. As Anxiety Slayers, we serve up a potent blend of coaching, breathing exercises, EFT Tapping, guided meditation albums and more. Some of the most supportive anxiety relief tips we share are offered up in this article and include: personal awareness, anxiety triggers,

sleep

practices,

breathing exercises and media discernment.

www.AspireMAG.net | June / July 2014

– Amit Ray Learning to slay your anxiety begins with personal awareness. How do you manage bouts of anxiety? For years it didn’t occur to me that when I wanted to crawl out of my skin before a social function, I was experiencing a form of anxiety; or that when I felt moments of terror riding along in a car (as a passenger) that it was the fearful thoughts about getting into a fiery crash that stirred up my anxiety. I thought I was stressed out and over-reacting. When I originally said yes to collaborating with Ananga, my intention was to support people suffering with high levels of stress in the workplace and how to quell the jangly feelings that come up when we are out of balance. I was eager to call up what I learned during my corporate career, yoga teacher training and hundreds of coaching experiences. I had to laugh when I realized I was teaching what I most needed to learn. It’s interesting how often teaching what we need to learn comes up for coaches, authors and healers. Learning how to manage my anxiety has been a valuable gift for myself, my family and my mentoring clients. I’ve learned to honor my fragile mind and balance my daily activities with discernment, spaciousness and ample downtime.

Eliminating anxiety triggers like caffeine is one of the best ways to calm your nervous system and ease anxiety. When I eliminated caffeine from my diet (all but my daily cup of coffee), I noticed a big difference. People who are stressed and suffer from anxiety often experience a racing heart, trouble sleeping and a heightened current of energy coursing through their bodies when they take in too much caffeine. These disconcerting experiences can lead to irrational fears and panic attacks. The human mind is very fragile. Eliminating caffeine is one of the best recommendations I can make to better care for your body and calm your precious mind. Alcohol can also exacerbate anxious feelings. People who suffer with anxiety will often have a drink to calm their nerves. What they don’t understand is that when your body starts to detoxify the alcohol, this creates a heart racing sensation and can contribute to a heightened sense of anxiety. I invite you to replace coffee and caffeinated drinks with hot tea or spring water to support

HEALTH & WELLNESS

“ If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.”

your nervous system. Ananga and I often recommend warm milk with a pinch of Nutmeg before bed to help you relax and get a good night’s rest. If you drink alcohol, try to have your last drink before 9pm to give your body time to process the alcohol before you go to bed.

Sleep deprivation and anxiety is often a vicious cycle. We have trouble falling sleep because we’re stressed, and in turn, not getting enough sleep makes us anxious the next day. Sleeping well is one of the best remedies for an anxiety free life. A soothing

bedtime ritual is an excellent way to get a good night’s sleep. Make time for a warm bath. Read or journal before bed. Gentle yoga postures like child’s pose or a forward bend will help you get a restful sleep. Today many of us are staying up too late and consuming media before bed. Whether we’re Online, in front of the TV, or watching Netflix. Violent programs, negative news stories, and troubling content rile up our subconscious and can overwhelm our systems when we finally go to sleep. The time you retire in the evening is also important. It’s amazing how much better I sleep when I get to bed by 10 p.m. and trade in watching an episode of Game of Thrones for an uplifting book or an article in Shambhala Sun. I often sit, contemplate and give thanks for the day’s events before slipping off to sleep. Breathing exercises are one of the most supportive activities you can add to your anxiety relief toolkit. Anybody can learn supportive breathing techniques. From simply noticing your inhalation and exhalation, to the measured breath, you can do this! Try this short breathing exercise.

“ When overcoming high levels of anxiety, it is important to learn the techniques of correct breathing. Many people who live with high levels of anxiety are known to breathe through their chest. Shallow breathing through the chest means you are disrupting the balance of oxygen and carbon dioxide necessary to be in a relaxed state. This type of breathing will perpetuate the symptoms of anxiety.”

– HealthyPlace.com 54

www.AspireMAG.net | June / July 2014

You can sit or stand, but be sure to soften up a little before you begin. Make sure your hands are relaxed, and your knees are soft. • Drop your shoulders and let your jaw relax. • Now breathe in slowly through your nose and count to four, keep your shoulders down and allow your stomach to expand as you breathe in. • Hold the breath for a moment. • Now release your breath slowly and smoothly as you count to seven. • Repeat for a couple of minutes and notice how you feel. Breathing exercises and mindfulness breathing techniques are well worth learning and practicing if you suffer with anxiety. Every mindful breath you take balances your brain, calms your fragile mind and helps you get grounded in the present moment. I mentioned media discernment and a supportive bed time ritual as a way to get a better night’s sleep. Beyond getting a good rest, freeing your mind from hundreds of negative news stories that bombard you every day along with being mindful of the amount of violence you watch on television will contribute to your peaceful mind. After leaving the television advertising business I took a hiatus from watching the news for several years. It’s not that I wasn’t

If you suffer with stress, anxiety, panic attacks and an overall sense of worry about your health and well-being, you are not alone. You can begin wiping out the fear and discomfort of anxiety in your life right now by answering the following questions: When do you feel most anxious? What triggers anxiety for you? What might happen if you cut back on your caffeine intake? How might you feel if you learn supportive breathing techniques? Dig deep. Take a mental inventory and identify what behaviors you can change. Your reward will be a calmer mind. Read Online!

Shann Vander Leek - Transformation Goddess, Shann Vander Leek is a delightfully curious force of nature. She is the founder of True Balance International and cofounder of Anxiety Slayer. She blogs at Transformation Goddess and mentors women experiencing life-altering transition with her signature coaching system, podcasts, books and digital programs. Shann teaches compassionate self-care and sacred feminine ritual to women who want to reclaim their divine feminine sovereignty. Claim access to the Transformation Goddess audio series to awaken the Goddess within at www.transformationgoddess.com.

HEALTH & WELLNESS

Short Breathing Exercise The Measured Breath

aware of what was going on in the world, I just chose to filter what I was taking in. What I learned is that I have a much more positive outlook on life when I’m not overflowing my brain with devastation, sadness and negativity. And while I enjoy watching action movies and some titles that include more violence than you might expect, I’m careful to balance out what I take in with my spiritual practice, time in nature, journaling and compassionate self-care. If you are overwhelmed and maxed out, take a break from news stories and violent programs for a while and notice how you feel.

THE

Wise Woman Way

I Am Beautiful! I Am the

Goddess! BY SUSUN WEED

hen Alice went through the looking glass, everything was strange: What was small seemed large and what was large seemed small. The rules made no sense. Things were insubstantial. And so it is for many women when they look in the mirror. Small flaws seem huge. Strengths seem small. The rules are always changing. The “in” look is insubstantial. Instead of a beautiful goddess looking back at us, we see the face of anxiety and disapproval in the mirror. How would you feel about yourself if you had never seen yourself in a mirror? The same or differently? How much time do you spend tending to how you look? If you added up all the hours of shaving, plucking,

www.AspireMAG.net | June / July 2014

dyeing/bleaching, curling/straightening, creaming, masking, lining, shadowing, selecting, rouging, dieting, preening, painting, grooming, primping, fussing, trying on, accessorizing, and worrying – how many would that be? How would your life be different if you spent less time on your “looks” and more time looking within? What would happen if you lived from the inside out, instead of from the outside in? One of my first Zen teachers told me this story. “There was once a woman who wanted to become a Buddhist nun. She went to the monastery to petition for entrance. She sat by the gate and begged all who entered to allow her to enter too. She was ignored. She persisted. For days, weeks, months,

a mall, wearing a silly hat or a clown nose or a fake moustache. Eventually, doing these practices, I understood that others saw me as I saw myself and responded to me as I put myself out and that how I looked has very little to do with my own self-worth.” There is a Wise Woman Within. She is always with you. She is your true mirror. She speaks the truth. She cuts through. She sees with laser vision. She defines her boundaries. She is filled with compassion. She is the essence of bliss.

HEALTH & WELLNESS

she sat beside the gate and begged all who entered to grant her entry. After more than a year, the gate keeper took pity on her. Bending low, the gate keeper whispered: ‘It is no use. They will not admit you for you are beautiful and that is too great an obstacle to your spiritual growth.’ When she heard these words, she immediately got up and left. When she returned, for she did return, though months had passed, the gate keeper was astonished. Her face was badly scarred. She looked at the gate keeper and smiled. ‘I have removed the obstacle,’ she proclaimed.” I am certainly not suggesting that you hurt yourself in any way; to the contrary. I am suggesting that you stop hurting yourself in the name of beauty, stop stressing yourself in the name of being the perfect mother/ mate, stop hating yourself in the name of the idealized being you wish to be. Instead, I offer the radical proposal that you apply yourself to becoming beautiful on the inside and accept the outside and all its changes. I am suggesting that you accept your body and your face as they are and get on with the important work of being a beautiful soul. Age naturally brings us this grace of looking at ourselves from the inside, but we can practice at any age. One of my dear friends told me this story of her shamanic training. “In order to overcome our tendency to view ourselves through other’s eyes instead of our own, we were asked to do several practices. One practice was to put our clothing on backwards, and inside out, and then ride somewhere on public transportation. Another was to wear torn, stained clothing to our place of worship. And a third was to go into a public space, like

Let the Wise Woman Within teach you about

being. 57

Journey to the Wise Woman Within Sit in a quiet place, alone, no phone. Breathe slowly and fully. Imagine a large crystal, big enough to enter. Go in and go to the stairs. Put your hand on the handrail and your foot on the first step. Be slow and conscious as you tread on each of the thirteen steps. At the end is a beautiful garden. Find a tree in your garden. Sit beneath it and breathe. Let yourself sink into the roots of the tree. Let yourself sink into the earth. Let yourself sink into the past. Let your primal self emerge. Find the Wise Woman Within. The Wise Woman Within is in a cave. She is in an open, wildflower-filled meadow. She is enormous: the Queen bee, the Queen termite, the Queen of all her realm.

She is the original orgasm, the impossible-to-contain pleasure of being. Reach out your hand to the Wise Woman Within. Look at her. Look into her eyes. Touch her. Feel her skin, her contours, her folds, her recesses, her hidden places. Travel her rises, her swellings, her outgrowths. Touch hearts and remember. The Wise Woman Within is always there. You can call upon her whenever you wish. You may give her a name to help you remember her, or not. You may give her a gift to help her remember you, or not. When you are ready to leave, walk back to the stairs and take the stairway back into the immense crystal. Step out of the crystal. Read Online!

Stretch. And breathe.

She is passed to you through your motherline.

Susun Weed – An internationally renowned

Recognize the Wise Woman Within.

Woman Center in New York. She is a revered voice

She is the distillation of all the wisdom of all women who gave birth to you. She is the vibration of the big bang echoing in you.

herbalist, author, and director of the Wise of the Wise Woman Tradition,

where

women’s bodies and women’s

emotions

are valued. Susun is a founding grandmother of the herbal renaissance and the originator of the concept of complementary medicine. www.SusunWeed.com

www.AspireMAG.net | June / July 2014

RELATIONSHIPS

“Passion is the life-force of your relationship!” Stacey Martino

ad Re ne! li On

Parents, Kids and Time Alone

BY MARGARTE PAUL, PH. D.

Healthy parenting means finding a balance between being with your children, being with your partner, and being with yourself. For your children to grow up taking responsibility for their own needs and feelings, they need to see you taking responsibility for your needs and feelings. Constantly sacrificing yourself for your children does not role model personal responsibility. Children need to experience you and your spouse enjoying your time with each other, as well as with yourselves. Read the article online.

CHECK OUT MORE ONLINE!

AspireMag.net

l Live & Virtua

UPCOMING EVENTS

TRANSFORMING

Relationship

Your

How to be

Loved

FOR YOUR MOST

AuthenticSELF I

BY STACEY MARTINO

f you are anything like me, during the course of your life, there were times when we acted as ourselves and we got negative feedback for it. We learned to make little adjustments, little changes to our behavior to be more pleasing, to adapt and to get the love and attention we craved. Over time, we made so many “little changes” that when we stop and look at ourselves we barely know who WE are anymore. All we see is the conglomeration of everything that everyone else wanted us to be...and somewhere along the way, we got lost. Until one day we wake up and say “I don’t even recognize who I am anymore.” Sound familiar. And yet, when your kids come to you and tell you about how they don’t “fit in” with the kids at school because they are different, what do you tell them? Do you tell them to

www.AspireMAG.net | June / July 2014

RELATIONSHIPS

change who they are to be more like other kids so the kids will like them?! Oh, hell no! What do you say, Mama? You tell them that some kids will always find something they don’t like about anyone just to try to make themselves feel better. You tell them that those kids aren’t their real friends anyway. You tell them to focus on the friend(s) they do have who likes them just the way they are! You tell them BE THEMSELVES and their real friends will like them for who they are! RIGHT?! Of course you do! And yet, do we listen to our own advice in our own relationships? In our intimate relationship? No, unfortunately, we don’t love ourselves as much as we love our kids. We don’t cherish our beautiful unique selves as much as we cherish our beautiful unique kids! My bet is, that you would FIGHT to protect your child’s unique, real, authentic self! Wouldn’t you?

And yet we just chip away at our own authenticity with every little adjustment, little change, little compromise and little shift to something that is not our authentic self! It’s the same in intimate relationship! We adapt and change into who we feel our partner wants us to be until we lose ourselves. And compromise is NOT the answer! In fact, I know it sounds crazy coming from a relationship expert, but I do not believe in compromise! I know, practically every relationship expert in the world teaches compromise as part of a “successful” marriage or committed relationship. But it does not work in intimate relationship. In fact, in an intimate relationship compromise is counterproductive…it destroys relationships. Because by definition, compromise includes making “concessions.” I don’t have to tell you, just check in with yourself, do you feel loved for your most authentic self when you make concessions? Me either.

As you allow your authentic self to show up in your intimate relationship you will begin to witness miraculous changes in yourself and in your relationship. Compromise doesn’t work. The only thing that works is ALIGNING with your partner as an indivisible team! Take a moment to tune into the energetic difference between the words COMPROMISE and ALIGIN. Big difference isn’t it? Being in alignment with your partner is loving, cherishing and appreciating them for their most authentic self and being loved for your most authentic self. When you create that, you don’t need to compromise, because you are in alignment with your partner! That’s authentically you! You cannot be someone you are not. You must be you! Be your most authentic self in life and in your intimate relationship with your man! I’m not suggesting that you ditch your man to be your most authentic self. I’m not saying that you say “well this is who I am and if you don’t like it tough”! The truth is, you can do better than that!

What if you could be your best AND most authentic self? The truth is, before you go blaming your man or your kids or your family or anyone

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else for who you have become… let’s just get real and honest here. No one made you into who you are but you. It was just your survival tool for getting the love, acceptance, significance, security and connection that you needed. And you did what you knew to do to get it. And sometimes that included doubting yourself, changing and pleasing others. Don’t beat yourself up for it. How do you think I know this darling? You are not alone. This is the case for the majority of women at one time or another in life! So, there’s no need to blame your man. As Maya Angelou says “When you know better, you do better.” So let’s start from today.

Hello Beautiful! Welcome to today! Today you get to BE your best and most authentic self! And you will be L-O-V-E-D for your best and most authentic self, darling! How do I know? Because a long time ago I learned a very important lesson that I know in my heart and soul to be the Truth.

“If I am true to myself, people will love the truth in me.” The truth is, that messy, flawed stuff that you don’t want anyone to see... that’s what we really want from you! It’s how we know you are human too. It’s how we resonate and connect with you! It’s how we see the real you! And your man picked you for who you really are, mess and all! Yes he did! Oh darling, if you knew about the selection process that men go through to avoid picking a total bitch that will take away their freedom (man’s biggest fear), you would not doubt me when

I tell you he very carefully figured out who you really are before he hitched himself to you for eternity. He knows the real you.

Men have a built in manipulation radar and anytime a woman is being something that she is not, that hits his radar and his alert goes off! You think you are fooling him, but the truth is you’re not. When we are INauthentic, we are not fooling anyone! We are like the drunk person at the party who thinks she is poised and elegant, but everyone else sees her slurring her words and tripping over nothing.

Every day I am dedicated to stepping more fully into my authenticity as I myself discover my path and my true self, AND I am committed to my personal growth and development, AND I ASPIRE to be an even greater version of myself every day, AND I open to you, my man, as my most authentic self, AND I give you who I really am, without holding back, AND To remain true to myself and who I really am, I must love you for who you really are, AND

Are you ready to be your best and most authentic self? I’d like to share a secret I’ve discovered from my own relationship journey as well as from working with hundreds of individuals to transform their relationship. Who you ARE right now is only who you ARE in this moment! We are constantly growing, evolving and ASPIRING to the best version of ourselves! It’s the journey of life. It’s not an either-or... either you love me for who I am OR you do not. The secret is that it’s an AND! Here’s an example of living from the “and” energy instead of the ‘either-or” energy.

RELATIONSHIPS

Men have incredible perception when it comes to a woman’s openness and authenticity.

I am my best and most authentic self, AND...

I love you unconditionally for who you really are, AND I honestly recognize that it is not always easy to love someone unconditionally, AND I am committed to doing what it takes to grow in this area, so I can more easily love MY authentic self and YOUR authentic self...because THAT is my best and most authentic self! Now, doesn’t that feel much better? So the next time you catch yourself trying to change to be more of anything for your man, ask yourself this one question: Will this CHANGE enable me to more easily live as my authentic self and love him unconditionally for his most authentic self? If the answer is YES, then go for it! If the answer is no, then that change you are considering is just a Band-Aid and it’s not going to fix the problem sweetie. As you allow your authentic self to show up in your intimate relationship you will begin to witness miraculous changes in yourself and in your relationship. That’s the beautiful part of the work I do as a Love and

“Every day I am dedic ated to stepping m ore fully in to my authenticit y.” Stacey

Martin

www.AspireMAG.net | June / July 2014

Passion Coach and Relationship Expert... is empowering women to see that they can transform their relationship without their partner’s participation.

It begins within and it begins with you!

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Stacey Martino - Stacey Martino helps people who feel stuck, frustrated and helpless with the challenges of intimate relationship. Through strategic private coaching, programs and events for her Relationship Transformation System™, individuals learn to use her proven strategies and tools to create an unshakable love and unleashed passion that lasts a lifetime. Stacey firmly believes that it does NOT take two to tango, that one person can significantly shift the dynamics of the relationship. Trained and certified by Tony Robbins and Cloe Madanes, Stacey is a certified marriage educator and divorce preventionist. Stacey is a sought-after relationship expert appearing on numerous media outlets and telesummits. Download our free audio program “How to Transform Your Relationship in Eight Steps” and begin creating your magnificent relationship today!

Love

BY DEBRA REBLE, PH. D.

ntering a soulhearted partnership with another person requires us to first open our hearts and unconditionally love ourselves. When we love ourselves, we become our own safe haven, where we feel free to fully express who we are and realize our dreams. Opening our hearts so we can love ourselves without qualification is the foundation for developing a soulhearted partnership with another, characterized by the mutual expression of unconditional love. As psychoanalyst and philosopher Eric Fromm states in The Art of Loving, “What matters in relation to love is the faith in one’s own love; in its ability to produce love in others. We are only capable of knowing and caring for the other if we are also capable of understanding, caring, and knowing ourselves.” Stated differently, to experience soul-hearted love, we must first embody genuine love. Difficulty with loving ourselves directly impacts the thoughts and feelings we have, the choices we make, the relationships we select, and how

RELATIONSHIPS

Self-Love as the Prerequisite for Soul-Hearted

“If you can let your experience happen, it will release its knots and unfold, leading to a deeper, more grounded experience of yourself.”

—John Welwood we perceive and react to every life situation. Feelings that we are unlovable occur due to our early childhood environment and as a result of our hearts disconnecting from our true being and our source. When we close off our hearts, we are more likely to take things personally, and then blame or attack others—a reaction that follows because we have automatically assumed that we are unlovable, not good enough, or there is something wrong with us. The blocked unconditional love of ourselves ultimately threatens the expression of unconditional love in our relationships. We have all witnessed couples giving each other a broken heart on a necklace as a symbol of their love. Although wearing this symbol may be endearing, it implies that the only way we can be complete is with our “missing half.” Since we cannot have a fulfilling relationship unless we feel complete in and love ourselves unconditionally, however, it is not surprising that many people even with their “other half ” still feel incomplete. In contrast, self-love leads to acceptance of the intrinsically spiritual nature of our being. Deeper than our patterns and structured identity is our true being—our sense of aliveness and authentic relatedness. We can experience this aspect of being with a

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child, friend, partner, coworker, stranger, or even a dog by opening our hearts, which allows unconditional love to flow through us. Through heart connections with others, we see that we are no longer separate but rather one in the collective flow of unconditional love. With practice, we can master the art of loving and self-loving. The key to self loving is knowing and accepting your true being. And the first step begins with what John Welwood, psychotherapist and teacher, refers to in Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships, as “letting yourself have your own experience.” He goes on to say, “If you can let your experience happen, it will release its knots and unfold, leading to a deeper, more grounded experience of yourself.”

Initiating self-love by accepting our true being requires paying attention to whatever is going on at any given moment, opening the heart, observing our thoughts with healthy detachment, and acknowledging our feelings, saying to ourselves, for instance, “I feel anxious or fearful,” “I feel confused,” or “I am acting in an insecure way.” We don’t have to like our experience, but we do have to affirm its presence. Acceptance of our true being quiets the brain’s critical voice and opens the heart to unconditional self-love. Love of yourself can be reinforced by opening your heart at the start of each day and being mindful of your blessings and your ability to handle anything in life. It also helps to hold yourself accountable for your weaknesses, appreciate your unique gifts, and be grateful for the opportunities life has to offer. Excerpted and adapted from Soul-Hearted Partnership: Creating the Ultimate Experience of Love, Passion, and Intimacy, HeartPaths Media, LLC; First edition (November 20, 2009). Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving (New York: Harper & Row, 1956), 114.

Two Self-Love Practices • Practice

opening and expanding your heart center. Touching the center of your chest, experience the ebb and flow of your breathing. Each time you inhale take in life force energy as oxygen, and each time you exhale release negative thoughts, emotions, and physical discomfort. The deeper you breathe, the more you get in touch with the core of your being. Now quiet your mind and witness your thoughts, focusing on the flow of energy emanating from your heart so you can view a greater range of possibilities and see what your heart desires.

RELATIONSHIPS

At the same time, we have to trust that our experience is unique and valuable. Sharing it with others may cause us to think it is not unique, but in fact no one else can ever have our experience. Accepting it as valuable can be especially challenging for those of us who are accustomed to ignoring, avoiding, or distracting ourselves from personal experiences.

• B ecome

your own loving coach. Override your negative mental patterns by eliminating selfabusive words and actions, such as “I am inadequate” or “I’ll never be happy.” Disrupt the chain reaction of your negative thinking with positive affirmations such as “See and move beyond,” “Open and let go,” or “Bless and release,” saying these mantras aloud or to yourself so they can become the basis for manifesting the fulfilling life you envision. Read Online!

John Welwood, Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships (Boston: Trumpeter, 2007), 105-106.

Debra Reble, Ph. D. - Debra, a licensed psychologist who conducts a private practice and facilitates workshops and seminars that focus on enhancing personal transformation and well being, is the founder of HeartPaths, a company dedicated to providing materials that inspire full selfexpression. For more information, visit http://www.debrareble.com.

Teaching Our Children the Joy of Being Grateful

BY DR. CARON GOODE, NCC

ratitude is more than an attitude. Recent studies show that grateful people are happier, more resilient, and less depressed. They also have higher self-esteem and better relationships. These results prove that gratitude is more than polite manners and positive thinking. It is a way of life, and a wonderful legacy to leave our children. Plus, the beauty of gratitude is that it does not have to come naturally. It can be taught. A study by Dr. Michael McCullough, professor of psychology and religious studies at the University of Miami, demonstrates just that. McCullough, who also co-authored The Psychology of Gratitude, asked his subjects to write down four or five things they were grateful for each day. In as little as two weeks, they began feeling happier. This illustrates that gratitude cannot only be taught, but that it is relatively simple to do so.

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Seven Simple Ways to Teach Your Children Gratitude 1. Daily Dose.

Take time each day to encourage your children to express gratitude. They can do this by making an entry in a family journal or by simply talking about what they are grateful for.

2. Model Thanks.

As with everything, modeling is the best way to teach your children to be grateful. Be lavish with your thanks. Thank your children for hugs. Thank the cashier for ringing up your groceries. Thank the bus driver for returning your students home safely. Letting your children see that you are grateful will encourage them to be so as well.

3. Establish Rituals. We all know the importance of family rituals. Establishing rituals that highlight being thankful is a wonderful teaching tool. Start dinner with each family member sharing what they are most grateful for. Say goodnight by sharing what you were thankful for that day. Any ritual that based on gratitude will reinforce its power.

4. Volunteer.

Volunteering is a great way for your children to see gratitude in action. There are numerous chances in every community to volunteer. Homeless shelters, nursing homes, and mentoring

programs are just a few. There may also be other opportunities closer to home. Perhaps an elderly relative or neighbor could use a hand. It feels good to help others. Therefore, your children not only benefit from that, but they also get to experience the warmth of appreciation, two things for which they can be grateful.

5. Assign Chores.

Children learn by doing chores. They learn what it means to be part of a team. They learn their

contributions are important. They also learn that most things take effort. Simple household chores can help children learn to be grateful when they benefit from the efforts of others.

6. Thank You Notes.

Writing thank you notes for gifts is a very literal way of teaching your children gratitude. Putting down on paper what they enjoyed about a particular gift, reminds your children why they are grateful for it.

7. Find Your Gratitude.

Always be on the lookout for things to be grateful for and express your gratitude. When your children hear you say things like, “Buster is such a good dog.” or “What a beautiful day,” they realize they can be grateful for even the smallest of things.

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Dr. Caron Goode - Dr. Caron Goode, founder of Academy for Coaching Parents International, trains and certifies professionals coaches. Caron is the author of 22 books. Raising Intuitive Children won the USA National Book Award for the parenting category, and Kids Who See Ghost, was an international bestseller on Amazon.com. Visit Caron’s lifestyle blog http://HeartWiseLife.com

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CAREER/ BUSINESS 6 Powerful Steps

“Make your life a masterpiece;

imagine no limitations on what you can be, have or do.”

Brian

Tracy

ad Re ne! li On

BY JEANNA GABELLINI

to Create Abundance in Your Business

Creating abundance in any area our lives starts with a mindset shift. I go through the same thoughts from time to time, but then I shift those thoughts! I ask myself, “What am I scared about?” Even if I don’t feel the emotion of fear, it’s there.

CHECK OUT MORE ONLINE!

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Here’s six steps to help you get exactly what you want when it comes to generating more money through your business:

#1 #2 #3 #4

Identify the Fear Create the Intention Create a strategy, brainstorm and make it real Acknowledge your Gremlin conversations and move forward anyway #5 Focus on the horizon and don’t resist where you are at the moment #6 Expect a Windfall Read the article online.

l Live & Virtua

UPCOMING EVENTS

3Purpose Keys to Finding Your

BY DR. MEGAN DALLA-CAMINA

e hear a lot of people talking about purpose. How you need to find your purpose, be on purpose, work and live with purpose. And I’m one of those people. Because it matters. It matters deeply. But so many people are walking through their lives with a greyness about them. No colour. Like ghosts living in the machine of their life. They may have given up on their purpose, discarded it in the trash one evening, thrown out with the dinner scraps. Or maybe, as is the case for so many, they never actually had it to begin with.

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How do you find it? And what does it actually look and feel like when you do? This is what it looks like. I woke up this morning with a burning desire to get to my desk to write and work. As I lay in bed for ten minutes as I do every morning while my son is in the shower, daydreaming, and thinking about my day, I was alive with possibilities for a new leadership program that I’m developing. An answer to a question I’d been pondering popped into my head a few minutes after I woke, as often happens, another piece of the puzzle slotting into place.

in my chest at the same time. Like my brain is constantly buzzing with ideas and concepts and business plans for how I can have more impact and help more people. Like I can’t get enough knowledge into my

– Unknown As I got up, I felt so excited about my day ahead. And yes I tweeted about it (as you do): Perfect day planned: beach walk, green juice, write a chapter, devise leadership program, do PhD research, create some magic #awesomeday. I went for my walk, got my green juice and rushed home to start writing. I was working on my new book, my mind filled with thoughts on conviction, commitment, purpose and passion. After writing, I turned my thoughts to building a new program for women on Positive Leadership, helping people become the leaders they want to be, standing in their power, and creating better lives for themselves. This work is almost involuntary, my need so strong to write this content, develop these programs, coach people to build the businesses and careers they desire, and find peace, happiness and their true sense of themselves. And I have absolute clarity on who I am and what I am called here to do.

So how does it feel? Energising. Electrifying. Like there are butterflies in my stomach and a warm glow

head through books and from talking to people who know what I want to know, to do what I need to do. Have you ever found yourself searching desperately for your purpose, or avoiding what you just know is your true calling? Here are some strategies that work with my clients, who often come to me as seekers for what they are truly meant to be doing in this life.

1 Run Toward the Resistance First ask yourself, what am I running away from? We have this mystical view that if we are called to do something, we will magically run toward it with open arms. That it will be effortless. And that

CAREER/BUSINESS

“What you do today is important, because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.”

there will, of course, be rainbows and butterflies. But it doesn’t always happen like that. In fact, it rarely does. Often we hear the call, but we are so resistant to it, because it’s inconvenient, demanding, and will cause us to make major changes and step out of our cushy comfort zone. This was my story. For years I played around the edges of what I knew I was called to do. I didn’t want to leave my big important job with the equally big and important pay packet. I didn’t know who I would be in the world without my impressive title. And more fundamentally, I didn’t know if I was cut out to succeed on my own terms. I just wasn’t sure I could do it, this calling I felt so deeply I was destined for. So it’s not always convenient. And it’s not always easy. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. If you are feeling great resistance, run toward it, not away from it.

2 Take One Step You may also be thinking that you need to have it all figured out before you take your first step. That you need to know what the endgame looks like. But you don’t. You just need to start. Want to be a thought leader? Pick your area of expertise. Read something. Learn something new. Then go tell someone.

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Want to be a writer? Know that you are called to share your stories with the world? People always ask me how to become a writer. They think it’s complicated. It’s not. Sit down and write. Then keep writing each day so you get better. Want to completely change careers and need to reskill? What is one thing you can do today that will move you a step further on your path? Go do that. When we move toward our calling instead of away from it, the energy shifts and synchronicities have the chance to flow. The right people show up. Opportunities appear. Time becomes available.

3 Honour Your Vision Often our calling is triggered by a vision of what something could look like, how it could be different, or the difference we could make. It can come from a frustration that something is just not right, and we could make it so much better. You have the vision. You feel the need to make change. And you sense that this is your work to do in the world. This is the voice you need to listen to. But it will surely be accompanied by another voice that tells you all of the reasons why you can’t do it, which can sound something like this:

Seriously? Who are you kidding? Who do you think you are to say you can go do that? Don’t quit your day job baby. You aren’t cut out for writing/leading/changing the world. Calm yourself down, get back in your corner and keep going through the motions. You don’t have any brilliance to offer, and even if you did, the world doesn’t need or want it. It’s all been said and done before anyway. Get over yourself. Loser.

Sound familiar? This is our self-talk at it’s worst. And it can be brutal. We show up with courage and get slapped down by a bitch on a mission. We’ve all heard this voice when we have expressed our deepest dreams and desires, out loud to someone, or just quietly and secretly to ourselves. And the closer we get to our calling, the more we want to do something, change something or make a difference, the louder the noise can get. Don’t listen to that voice. That is your ego talking, your smaller self, yelling at you because it’s resistant to change. Fearful of what may come. Pay attention to the other voice, the voice of truth and longing. And trust and honour your vision. Our callings shape us. They grow us into the person we were born to be. And it is already destined. The things you need will appear on your path in divine timing. The skills, relationships, resources and opportunities will show up when you do. Trust that you will get what you need, when you need it. You’ve been called. It’s time to listen. ©2014. Megan Dalla-Camina. Excerpt from Getting Real About Having It All. Reprinted with permission. Hay House.

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Dr. Megan Dalla-Caminia - Dr. Dalla-Camina is a strategist, coach and speaker, and author of Getting Real About Having It All. She helps people create business, career and personal success, on their own terms, through a unique mix of science, spirit and experience. You can connect with Megan at www.megandallacamina.com or on Twitter @mdallacamina.

CAREER/BUSINESS

That job that you hate showing up to everyday when you really want to be an artist? The boss walks in and tells you that you’re no longer required. Devastating? Perhaps. Challenged about how to put food on the table? Probably. Completely free to look at new options and opportunities to walk a new path and create the life of your dreams? Absolutely.

INSPIRED TO

Write?

DECISION TIME?

Tune into Your Inner Muse for Wisdom, Inspiration and Clarity BY LISA TENER

“L

isa, you need to make decisions.”

I heard the words, but I almost couldn’t take them in. My first job out of college, I was lucky to land in a department where the manager and two supervisors helped us identify the places we needed to grow and urged us to take specific steps to accomplish our objectives. But that one sentence directive from my boss took months to sink in and grapple with. Years later, I can tell you why. I didn’t know how to go within. I tended to look outside of myself for sources of wisdom, power and clarity. And you can’t make decisions just by looking out. Of course, there is a value to looking at externals to assess a situation or

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even to find possible solutions. But the final clarity—and often the most brilliant ideas— come from tapping into that inner wisdom— what I’ve come to refer to as “the muse.” Now, when it’s decision time—time to choose—I tend to feel empowered. I often make decisions quickly, too. And it’s been one of the most freeing shifts in my life and business. Back in that moment, last century, when my boss told me I needed to make decisions, the directive seemed overwhelming. I always felt I didn’t have enough information to make a decision. If I could just uncover the right information, perhaps I could make a decision. I had created this information myth. The truth? Most decisions are made with incomplete information.

Writing—and journaling, in particular— can help you access your “muse” and get clarity—and answers—in your decision making process. The term “muse” comes from the ancient Greeks and refers to the goddesses who inspire the creation of literature and the arts. I view the muse as one of our wise inner teachers who serves as source of creativity, inspiration and ideas. Your Muse also knows exactly what you need at any given moment to support your creative processes and decision making.

Here’s how to access your muse to make a decision:

1 Pick a specific issue where you need to make a decision—anything from which job to take to what color to paint your bedroom.

2 I magine making one decision and write about it in detail—employing all of your senses. For example, what does your bedroom look like, feel like, smell like when you paint it chartreuse? What do you imagine it’s like to wake up in that chartreuse room? And how about going to sleep in it?

3 After you’ve written about the option in detail, read it over aloud and check in to see how it feels in your body to connect with that experience. Notice if there is a particular part of your body you are drawn to. What sensations do you feel in that part of your body? If that part of your body could talk, what would it say? Write about what you are feeling in your body and explore the questions.

CAREER/BUSINESS

Another truth, equally important: If your decision takes you in a direction you don’t want to go, you can correct your course. But if you just keep putting off the decision, you’ll never get on the path to begin with.

4 Now try that exercise with the other alternative if you have identified one, in this case, perhaps a bubblegum pink room. Now, you have a writing/journaling tool for making a sample decision—where you already have laid out the choices. What about a more complex decision—one where you need some creative ideas? Let’s say you’re trying to find a name for your new company. In that case, I suggest a “visit with your muse.” Just as dreams are symbolic, your muse appears symbolically—and may change form over time.

So, how do you access this inner wise being that can: • Bring clarity in the mist of overwhelm or confusion • Help you focus and know your next steps • Support you to break through any emotional blocks—sometimes in an instant • Help you experience your brilliance and creativity in all its glory • Provide answers on creative projects I take my clients and class participants on an inner journey to meet their muse. Here’s a shorter version of the visualizations I do in my book writing courses: • Sit in a chair, feet on the floor. • Close your eyes. • Experience the chair supporting your body • Bring your attention to our feet and feel the support of the floor—and the earth beneath that.

• You can ask your muse questions, or support to move through a block. • You may question the answers, “Am I making this up?” Don’t worry. It doesn’t matter if you are. Just trust that this is what you need to hear. • When you’re ready, thank your muse and see yourself returning the way you came. • Open your eyes and write down your answers. Be sure to take time to write your answers afterwards. Some people go so deep they may not remember. If that’s you, have someone guide you through the visualization and talk you through it—where you provide answers and they record them as you go so you can listen later. These sessions can be very rich. You may even want to use an audio recording program to record your answers as you do this. You can also access a free “meet your muse” visualization here:

www.lisatener.com/meet-your-muse Read Online!

• Notice your breath. • Allow your spine to gently straighten. • Now, imagine yourself walking a path to a building where your muse is waiting for you. • Walk the path, noticing what you see, hear, smell, feel and even taste. • Enter the building and find your muse.

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Lisa Tener – An award-winning authority on writing and publishing books, Lisa Tener guides you to joyfully express yourself in writing. She blogs for the Huffington Post, serves on the faculty of Harvard Medical School’s publishing course, and teaches her own Award Winning Book Writing Courses in person and by interactive teleseminar. Download your free Author Tool Kit at www.LisaTener.com