NEWS4U JULY 2022 | ENTERTAINMENT
TRI-STATE HORRORSCOPES NO MATTER YOUR ASTROLOGICAL SIGN, THINGS AREN'T EXACTLY LOOKING UP THIS MONTH
GEMINI (May 21-Jun 20)
Even worse than being forced to relive the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard trial, you'll be legally bound to watch Depp's musical performances front and center or risk imprisonment. Though listening to him sing and play guitar for an hour should be punishment enough. CANCER (Jun 21-Jul 22)
You will accidentally bang your head and, subsequently, find that you can only respond "whatevs" to any and all inquiries. The upside is you won't be that upset about it, because, you know, whatevs. LEO (Jul 23-Aug 22)
For reasons that will remain unclear, you will be blamed for both high gas prices and inflation everywhere you go this month. You will be very unpopular.
VIRGO (Aug 23 - Sep 22)
You will visit your hairstylist who will somehow mishear "just take a little off the top, please" as "give me the Ed Sheeran." Insult to injury, she'll still expect payment and a generous tip.
LIBRA (Sep 23-Oct 22)
The only news feed you'll receive this month will be updates on the life of Chrissy Teigen. Soon you'll be begging for coverage of war, genocide and famine.
38 | JULY 2022
• www.evansvillemediagroup.com
Photo Credit: Nat Phelps
