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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home
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TJH
THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME
MARCH 18, 2021
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Signs That You Have Become an Israeli As soon as a traffic light turns
green you shout, “Yalla” … even if you are the first person at the light.
A line is something that you follow in books only.
After every meal, you keep a
toothpick in your mouth for 5 hours.
“Please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me” are extinct dinosaurs.
Your second sentence upon meeting someone is “How much did it cost?”
You wear slacks and a buttoned, tucked out shirt to weddings.
You wear flip-flops to your own wedding. You use the “rega” hand sign (thumb meets fingers in upwards motion) at least three a day.
You even eat your hotdogs with chummus. You use the word “nu” at least 10 times when listening to a friend’s story.
B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M
Centerfold
When angry, you are fluent in Arabic curse words. You regard traffic signals and stop signs as suggestions.
You arrive 30 minutes late for a meeting but are the first person there.
You start a blog or
website about Israel and Dead Sea products.
You prefer Turkish
coffee (aka “mud”) over Starbucks.
When referring to America, you say “the States.” You think it is normal to buy milk in bags. It takes you .00000000000000001 seconds to split a sunflower seed.
You don’t think sliced bread is that great anyway. When you spit the sunflower seed shell out, it has a better spiral than Peyton Manning’s footballs.
You think that nobody is qualified to be prime minister, except for you…even though you are a taxi driver.
You Gotta be Kidding Me! Yankel finally achieved his lifelong goal – he had the winning lotto number, 49. Upon hearing the news, his friend David said, “Yankel! How did you happen to pick the winning numbers?” “I saw it in a dream. Six sevens appeared and danced before my eyes. Six times seven is 49, and that’s all there was to it,” said Yankel. “But six times seven is 42, not 49,” responded David. Yankel looked at him and said, “Huh? Alright, so you be the mathematician!”
