60
OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home
51
Dating Dialogue
THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME
What Would You Do If…
AUGUST 27, 2020
Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW of The Navidaters
Dear Navidaters,
The Rebbetzin Rebbetzin Faigie Horowitz, M.S. ou are right not to tell your friend yourself to fix her teeth since you think she will feel hurt. People
Y
are very sensitive about personal appearance. If you and your friend are close, you may get to it indirectly. At some point, when you talk about dating in general and rehash what advisors such as seminary teachers have told you about the topic of dating, you can
bring up something I have mentioned in this space several times. Instead of focusing on one’s “list” and what the other person brings to a potential relationship, focusing on what one can offer someone else is a very healthy way of approaching the search for a spouse.
This is a process that involves looking at oneself and asking, who am I? What are my strengths? What qualities can I offer someone else? And then one proceeds to the next series of questions. What type of person can use my strengths? What kind of person will value what I have to of-
Disclaimer: This column is not intended to diagnose or otherwise conclude resolutions to any questions. Our intention is not to offer any definitive conclusions to any particular question, rather offer areas of exploration for the author and reader. Due to the nature of the column receiving only a short snapshot of an issue, without the benefit of an actual discussion, the panel’s role is to offer a range of possibilities. We hope to open up meaningful dialogue and individual exploration.
B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M
This question may sound weird, but I don’t know who else to ask. I am 21 years old. My friend is the same age as me. Recently, she has been complaining to me that she never gets any second dates from guys. My friend is a great person – she is kind, fun, and smart. She will make a great wife. I believe I know why she is not getting a second date: she has very bad teeth and the first time someone sees her and she smiles, they generally are taken aback. After a while, though, you don’t notice her terrible orthodontia. Here’s my question: I feel bad that she’s not getting second dates, and I know that it’s probably from that. How do I get the message to her to get her to do something about it? I really don’t want to tell her myself. It would really hurt her feelings. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
