Smart Working: Coaching
Are you helping your colleagues grow? Find out how a coaching approach can empower others to think for themselves
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s lawyers we are used to giving clients advice and this can often spill over into offering colleagues and others advice too. It becomes second nature to us. We think we are doing them a favour by sharing our knowledge but are we really allowing them to think for themselves? Adopting a coaching style within our professional roles (and at home) can provide a platform for developing relationships within a team, encouraging greater autonomy and responsibility in its members, whilst also taking the pressure off ourselves to always come up with a solution.
Greater understanding can evolve from listening to what is said and, just as importantly, what is not said. Paying close attention to language can provide valuable insights; for example the use of a metaphor such as ‘I feel like I’m drowning’ or ‘I feel like I am treading water’. Watch out for non-verbal messages as well. Tone of voice, body language and facial expressions. These can indicate how the speaker is really feeling. If they are talking about something exciting but looking rather forlorn you may want to flag it and ask if there is anything you are missing.
Coaching is about unlocking a person’s potential to maximise their performance; it is about helping them to learn rather than Asking questions and reflecting back about issuing instructions. Imagine the junior lawyer who asks Questions help to manage and focus a coaching conversation. for your help with a tricky piece of research. You are busy and Open questions starting with ‘What’, ‘Where’, ‘When’, ‘How’ you know the answer. The quickest and most tempting thing to or ‘Who’ require a descriptive answer and enable someone to do is tell them the answer and get on with the pile of emails in think for themselves, exploring the detail of the issue. A closed your inbox. But how much is this really helping them? Presented question, on the other hand (e.g. ‘Have you tried X or Y?’), with a similar problem again, what are they likely to do? You generally prompts a yes or no answer, requiring little thought. guessed it, come to you for the answer! Not only does this take up a lot of your time but your approach has not really taught Going back to the junior lawyer stumped by their research them anything or encouraged them to think for themselves. But question; by asking a few open questions – ‘What are the what if you adopted more of a coaching approach? By actively possible answers?’, ‘What do you think?’, ‘Where else could you listening, asking questions look?’ – you are encouraging and reflecting back what they them to take more tell you, you are creating an responsibility for the task and, environment where they can with any luck, showing them Open questions starting with ‘What’, start to generate new thinking how they could approach a ‘Where’, ‘When’, ‘How’ or ‘Who’ require and ideas. similar problem in the future.
a descriptive answer and enable someone to think for themselves, exploring the detail of the issue.
Active listening To listen well we need to be present and we need to take a non-judgmental approach (suspending analysis of whether we agree or disagree with what we are hearing) – both of which are easier said than done. We should give the speaker our undivided attention and focus entirely on what they are saying. Space is created not only by silencing the ping of emails but also by acknowledging whether we have capacity to show up. An urgent client query is an obvious distraction, but other issues such as a child’s forgotten PE kit or a parent’s medical appointment may need to be dealt with before we can be fully present in a conversation.
When an individual is truly listened to in a non-judgmental way by someone who believes in their abilities and is committed to empowering them to unlock a solution for themselves, it makes them feel comfortable, valued and respected. It creates an environment where trust is built and they feel at ease, speaking more freely and openly. If, on the other hand, we are distracted, checking our emails, waiting for a gap to jump in with our own thoughts and solutions or we are obviously not interested in what is being said, the speaker may feel uncomfortable and find it hard to continue talking or think around the issue they are trying to articulate.
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When we begin to ask open questions, we need to become comfortable with pauses, allowing people time to think and resisting the temptation to fill the gaps. This can be hard for the extroverts among us who have a tendency to jump in quickly with our own thoughts or ideas! Just because someone has stopped speaking, does not necessarily mean they have stopped thinking. A pause allows someone the freedom to think without the urgency to speak and sometimes this is when the best thinking happens. Next time you have the opportunity, try keeping your thoughts to yourself; see what happens if you do not share your opinion or idea at the first opportunity. Or perhaps, use a pause to reflect back or summarise what the person has said. This shows you are still actively listening and allows you to check your understanding. Try saying ‘What I think I have heard you saying is…’; sometimes this can trigger the speaker to explore issues more deeply or come up with new ideas or options. So, how can you put some of this into practice in everyday situations? Our three main tips are: Listen to understand Ask open questions Try not to jump in too quickly with your own ideas
