THE HOUSEWORK ISSUE for people living with chronic illness
Stop fighting with your home Make your home a place where you can rest and heal 1
CONTENTS 4. A note from the Editor 6. Ask for help - it’s the bravest thing to do 9. Are you struggling to fill out official forms?
19. Plant life
10. Cleaning up in style
20. 6 Ways to make cleaning easier today
11. Get a grip on the cleaning
21. Why are we so scared of white furnishings?
12. Is the way that you talk to yourself, stopping you from doing the things you need to do?
23. Break down the housework
16. Dump the junk
26. 7 rewarding aspects of simple living
24. I pay my son to do chores
28. Let the light in 29 Add your signature to your home
PUBLISHER Blooming Fabulous Media EDITOR IN CHIEF Margaret Bligdon-Boyt EDITORIAL CONTENT kindly provided by experts and people embracing the Quiet Living Ethos DESIGN BloomingFabulousDesign CONTACT US www.livingquietlymagazine.com email: bfmedialtd@gmail.com telephone 02380 970229 @quietlivingmagazine @living_quietly MEDIA ENQUIRIES Blooming Fabulous Media www.bfmediahq.blogspot.com ADVERTISING Please refer to the media pack on the magazine website Copyright 2018 Living Quietly Magazine. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without prior permission is prohibited. Printed in the United Kingdom.
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livingquietlymagazine.com We Asked the Experts for Their Top Tips 34. Hannah Cox 35. Helen Clutton 38. Nicola Davis 40. Jo Marshall 41. Juliet Landau-Pope
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A Note From The Editor Holistic
If you find that your household chores pile up
Psychotherapist working with chronically ill
more quickly than you can check them off a list, or
In
my
experience
as
a
clients, and more recently in my personal experience, living in a mess that you do not
even make the list at all, perhaps it is time for a re-evaluation. With a few simple adjustments, and a little sideways thinking, you can find yourself
have the energy or head space to tackle causes
getting a lot more done than you would ever
distress which often goes on to manifest itself
imagine right now.
in physical symptoms and causes damage to both emotional and mental health. The old adage about a tidy house and a tidy mind is not just an old wives tale. Our homes should be a place of rest and healing; if we are constantly fighting with our environment, we are unable to be as well as we could be. Our homes need to support us. They need to be a staging area where we prepare to go out into the world. And of course a sanctuary when we have had enough of the world. This is true for most people, but essential for those living with chronic illness.
Living with chronic illness means doing things differently. It means working to your own timetable. It also means that much of what you did and how you did it up until this point is no longer workable and that's not a bad thing. You now have a chance to completely start afresh - in your home and in your life. Not all of the suggestions in this magazine will apply to your situation, but I hope that you will be able to find enough to help you make a positive difference in your life.
Margaret Bligdon-Boyt
My ‘must-have’ cleaning product See page 11 for details
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The inability to keep on top of household chores and living in an environment which is not supportive, is a significant contributory factor in the depression and lethargy felt by people with chronic illness.
Tell someone if you are feeling overwhelmed or depressed. Friends - family - medical professionals or call the Samaritans. Never suffer alone. If you ask, someone will help you ... 5
Ask for Help
It’s the bravest way to help yourself So, probably not the advice you were hoping to get,
It is a fact that the most successful people, in business
but this is the most important part of the process albeit
and in life, wouldn't dream of doing everything
the hardest. For the majority of people, asking for help
themselves. How many successful people do their
is an admission of defeat. For someone with chronic
own accounting or even clean their own toilets? Very
illness it is more than that, it is a feeling of losing
few! They have a support team. The reason for this is
control. It is a feeling that everyone will think you
that to be a successful person, you need to play to
can’t cope.
your strengths. You don’t necessarily need to be the head of a multinational company to mobilise a
If you are reading this magazine, chances are that you
support team.
are either not coping or that you are overwhelmed to some extent. Of course you are. For most of us,
Being successful is simply functioning day to day, and
chronic illness has just completely shattered our lives.
being able to cope with whatever life throws at you.
The thought of re-building is almost too much and
Because once we can do that, our lives become easier
having just lost control of our bodies, we now have to
and therefore happier and more content. Happy and
give up control of things that we have always been
content people are able to deal with illness better.
more than capable of doing. So if you are going to live successfully, delegation is In reality, asking for help is the best way that you can
the way to go .....
take back control. It is the first step to taking back your life and making it manageable.
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There is a big difference between being helped and being helpless. Asking for help is a brave and also a positive step forward.
It means that you are willing to do
whatever it takes to get things done. You are not helpless, quite the opposite, you are using everything and everyone at your disposal to make the changes that will allow you to remain independent and vibrant. You put in the support system that allows you to get up every morning and get on with living and being as well as you possibly can be.
And what do you need to do to help you achieve it? Take a deep breath and remember that asking for help will enable you to stay independent in the long run. Asking for help is also an act of kindness to your nearest and dearest who often do feel helpless around you. They often do not know what you need, so will start imposing on you, what they think you need and what makes them feel better.
This will stop everyone
interfering and offering opinions that you don’t need. It’s time to change the narrative. Decide what you need. Choose the best person or organisation for the job and get things done.
Throwing a tantrum and listing the things that you can't do is not helpful. The people around you take their cue from you and if you allow yourself to end up in a soggy heap, you are effectively handing over
You have to change your mindset around asking for help, from one of despondency and loss of pride, to one of empowerment.
control. Making a list of things that need to be done and delegating is the best way of getting those things done without giving your nearest and dearest the impression that you can't cope. Precise planning is required; a plan needs to be made. And the good news is that you can do it all from your sofa. This is your new life - what do you want it to look like?
Images of animals throughout the magazine are entirely gratuitous on the part of the editor and serve no purpose other than to make you smile.
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Decorate your home with mirrors and reflective surfaces
They will reflect the light and give you a sense of space
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Are You Struggling to fill out Official Forms? Here are the places that you can go to for help When you telephone to apply for benefits, tell the operator that you will struggle to complete the form. They will put you in touch with a government service that sends someone to your house to help you fill in the form. Your Local Council will also have a department that can send someone out to help you. Ask for the Welfare Rights and Money Advice Service. They will help you to fill out the forms and make sure that you are getting everything that you are entitled to.
Do your research and make sure that you are getting everything that you are entitled to, both benefits and services.
The Citizens Advice Bureau also have a service to help you.
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Is the way that you talk to yourself, stopping you from doing the things that you need to do? Therapist, Sally Baker, explores why that is and suggests a technique that might help.
You are already well aware of how challenging it is to live with a chronic disease with often life-limiting symptoms of physical pain, cognitive impairment, and erratic levels of energy.
the symptoms you experience from an increase in frequency to the degree of pain. All of this, in turn, can decrease any valuable feelings of optimism and make any depressive emotions far worse.
You also already know how the unpredictable nature of continually living with illness means that even when your symptoms alleviate your ability to live life to the full are inhibited as you are never sure how long your remission will last.
So, there you are in the midst of a vicious circle of getting stressed out while trying to keep on top of chores leads to additional pain, leading to reduced mobility leading to further feelings of stress until it almost seems impossible to break the cycle. Worse still, you can feel it's your fault your symptoms are so debilitating when you have so conspicuously failed to cope with the high bar you have set yourself.
You are also well aware that a lack of mobility, and even taking some prescription medications, including those to counter depression, can make it even more challenging for you to care for your family and maintain a well-run household including all the domestic demands of housework and the like. You also know that stress compounds and can increase
Here, I look at how vital it is to resolve and release any feelings of overwhelm, and guilt about running your household and doing your best for your family. I also explore how changes in how you think and feel
about yourself can make the all-important difference in your ability to achieve maximum wellbeing. In addition to living with a chronic disease, stress seems even more intractable. My clients are mostly people who feel particularly overwhelmed with the challenge of managing their long-term health issues such as depression, IBS, diabetes, osteoarthritis, and Fibromyalgia. As a therapist I understand, and mainly focus on the power of the mind-body connection to harness the power of the mind to resolve, and release self-limiting beliefs, and end self-sabotaging behaviour, especially around ways to let go of stress. Living with little or no confidence of how one will physically feel from day to day encourages self-doubt and frustration. Feeling negative about oneself can become its' vicious circle of frustration, disappointment and anger, all of which are often directed inward.
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Sally Baker is a senior therapist who specialises in working with clients presenting with mind-body challenges. She works face to face with clients in London and the world over via the internet. If this article resonates with you, feel free to reach out to her for an obligation free discovery call. Just message her on: sally@workingonthebody.com www.workingonthebody.com
When almost twenty years ago I began working with clients living with chronic ill-health, one of the first therapeutic approaches I encouraged my client to embrace was to gain an enhanced level of self-awareness to highlight the impact their uncomfortable emotions have on themselves. One of the most beneficial ways of discovering if a person is prone to negative thoughts about themselves is to explore the kind of things their inner voice says to them. If on reading this your response is, 'What inner voice - I don't have one', then that is your inner voice. Your inner voice runs a continuous internal dialogue commenting on everything you do and often makes judgments on how well you do it too. Happening as it does just below conscious awareness one's inner voice
goes unchecked, and unchallenged for most of the time. For many people, especially those living with chronic illness, their inner voice is rarely a source of uplifting encouragement. It is more likely to be an unremitting flow of self-criticism and negative self-judgments. Taking the time to become aware of how your inner voice speaks to you can accurately demonstrate to you your level of self-judgement and self-condemnation. Tuning in, and hearing your inner voice is the crucial first step to silencing the draining, and a dispiriting stream of negativity that can hinder moving forward, and making positive changes. I encourage my clients to spend a little quiet time, just a few moments, every day for about a week to tune-in to their inner voice, and listen and note down the negative statements.
Once you have a greater awareness of your unique brand of negative self-talk, you can dispel the emotions you recognise are attached to the negative beliefs you have about yourself. Turning off negative self-talk is the beginning of a compelling journey which can transform a former inner-critic into your greatest advocate someone cheering for you instead of undermining you. It's challenging to make these changes on an intellectual level, so I work with Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) to facilitate these changes. Originating in the US, the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) has been around now for over 25 years. It is easy to learn as a self-help tool and can be applied to alleviate a myriad of negative emotions. The technique involves tapping
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For many people, especially those living with chronic illness, their inner voice is rarely a source of uplifting encouragement. It is more likely to be an unremitting flow of self-criticism and negative self-judgments. Taking the time to become aware of how your inner voice speaks to you can accurately demonstrate to you your level of self-judgement and self-condemnation. Tuning in and hearing your inner voice is the crucial first step to silencing the draining and dispiriting stream of negativity that can hinder moving forward, and towards making positive changes.
with two fingers on various points mainly on the face, and upper body. It works on the same energy lines, or Chi meridians as acupuncture, the traditional ancient Chinese medicine. Whereas acupuncture is used to relieve physical conditions, EFT works on dispelling uncomfortable emotions. EFT is measurable in its effect by setting a SUD rating at the beginning of your work and checking back in after an again after performing a few rounds of EFT. SUD means Subjective Unit of Discomfort. It uses a scale from 0 to 10 to assess the degree of negative feelings you experience around a particular issue. 0 is none at all and 10 represents the highest level of discomfort. N.B. It is recommended you begin learning to use EFT with problems that are not too distressing. Working with EFT starts with
a set-up phrase that helps to focus the mind on the issue you are working with. After repeating the set-up phrase three times, a short reminder phrase is spoken as you follow the tapping guide.
reflects how you feel not being perfect at running your household. Use the reminder phrase as you tap on each point.
Follow the instructions on the image on page 15
Think of EFT as peeling back the layers of an onion. Your initial thoughts are merely the outer layers, and as you tap more, you will reveal to yourself your real blocks to self-acceptance, many of which will centre around negative limiting beliefs such as I can't do this, nothing works for me, or too many things are stacked against me. You'll know what your limiting beliefs are. After a few rounds of EFT, especially if you customise the words to suit your unique challenges, you may notice a change in how you feel or think about the prospect of not beating yourself up for being perfect. You can check this for yourself by re-assessing your SUD rating.
To begin with, try using EFT on the following set-up, and as you tap around, allow yourself to become aware of changes in your emotions or thoughts, as they will provide insights for future tapping rounds. "Even though I find it hard to do everything I think I should do I fully and completely love and accept myself as I am now, even though that is hard for me." Repeat the set-up sentence three times. When you consider that set-up, give it a SUD rating, or alter the set-up so that it more fully
"I really can't do everything I think I should."
Your work is done when you feel neutral or no longer triggered.
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If it does not support you, get rid:
Dump The Junk
In the past, I have literally made a prison for myself out of stuff. I thought I
successfully. Trust me, a clean, well organised home is so much better; my home is still a cosy nest, but now it doesn’t fight against me. My new mantra isIf I haven't touched it for a month, I don’t need it!
“
“
was making a nest but I wasn't and it was stopping me from living
Margaret Bligdon-Boyt
This is the big declutter talk. Everywhere you look, there are articles and blogs telling you about the benefits of decluttering. This is all very well but when you are in the depths of chronic illness and possibly in a very dark place, this is easier said than done. The more you think about it, the darker the place becomes. You
Keeping hold of things because they were expensive when you bought them is madness. If they do not serve you now, they are worthless. If they might still have a monetary value, sell sell sell and use the money to pay someone to do your laundry!
know deep down that it is a good idea but where to start? Where to find the energy? May I refer you to the article on asking for help?
You could try the 15 minute method: 1.
Set the timer for 15 minutes
2.
Get a bin bag and fill it up, clean the bathroom or tidy a room until the timer goes off
Once you have made a start, you may feel like carrying on after the timer has gone off. But if you don’t that's fine too, have a break and set the timer again once you feel up to it. 16
Making your home a safe and supportive environment is essential and will require you to completely change your perspective.
You should be preparing for your worst day…
Be Ruthless
A big declutter and deep clean is essential to get everything ship shape
Piles of ‘just in case’ items need to go.
The number one priority is to be able to move around your home freely and without obstacle. The biggest threat to your independence is very likely to be your ability to move around your home. For example: if you fall over a pile of dirty laundry no one is going to blame the laundry - they are going to question your ability to look after yourself and to be safe. The question as to why the laundry was in a pile in the middle of the room will also be asked and the upshot from that will be that you cannot cope. In reality you can cope, you just need a place to put the dirty laundry and a better system for turning it into clean laundry. You also need to be able to find things Spending time looking for 2 matching shoes before you can leave the house is just going to add to your anxiety and stress levels ... the physical effects of stress on the body can be catastrophic to anyone with a chronic illness.
Get a clean start If things are clean and organised, not only is it easier to maintain but also psychologically we are more inclined to keep them clean. There is a knock on effect. When you have cleaned one room, the next room is easier.
Anything that needs dusting needs to go. Clothes that you have not worn for a few months need to go.
Organise Yourself … Simple things like moving the teabags to a lower cupboard so that you don’t need to lift your arms on a bad day - this takes very little time and energy if you do it now. Get rid of all those ornaments that need cleaning or that may be knocked off if you stumble. Even editing your collection down to a few pieces will make a huge difference. Reduce cluttered furniture. Not only will it be easier to get around but the mental feeling of space is hugely beneficial to your wellbeing. Keep smart leisurewear handy. This may sound daft but it’s a great trick. Laying in your grubby dressing gown when you are feeling bad is not good for your psyche, and it’s also not very hygienic. At the very least, cleaning your teeth and putting on clean clothes will tell your subconscious (and visitors) that you haven’t given up.
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Lightweight 2 in 1 Stick Vacuum www.houseofbath.com GBP 29.95
Outstanding value for a two-in-one lightweight cleaner that tackles the trickiest little jobs and an all-over deep clean. Perfect for homes with pets, it has four stage HEPA™ filtration that helps keep the air free of dust mites and other allergens. Powerful 1000 watts yet lightweight at only 3½lbs. Includes turbo tool and telescopic tube. 16ft mains cable.
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Plant life
Fresh flowers in the house are very good for boosting our mood, but also very disappointing when they start to wilt and die. Use potted plants to maintain that feel good vibe, but keep them edited and healthy so that they don’t become clutter. 19
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Leave cleaning products for the time they state on the bottle so that they do the work for you - much less elbow grease required.
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When tidying up, put things into baskets or bags, so you can group things together and make one trip into each room with things to put away.
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Ask everyone to remove their shoes at the front door keeps your floors cleaner.
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To clean the bathtub, use the mop.
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Get a low stool to sit on to empty the washing machine/tumble drier and fold the laundry.
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Try to keep your home clutter-free to reduce the amount of cleaning needed.
6 ways to make
cleaning easier today:
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Why Are We So Scared of White Furnishings? We think that white will show more dirt and be difficult to clean. Actually that is not strictly true - there are many advantages to using white furnishings and some of them will make your life very much easier. White bedding - not only is sticking to one colour of bedding easier to mix and match, but white is also very easy to keep looking fresh because it can be bleached - any stains and spills can be soaked out in a diluted bleach bath. As can soft furnishings and upholstery in plain white. White paintwork is easy to keep looking good - no need for endless cans of spare paint - just one pot and a packet of cheap brushes that can be thrown away after use means that paint touch ups are quick and easy to manage. White also reflects the light which keeps a room looking fresh and clean. If you are worried about a room looking too clinical, add some colour with throw pillows or ornaments (be careful not to use too many, which will make the room look cluttered).
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Sainsbury’s Home Helsinki Bedroom Style www.sainsburys.co.uk
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Break Down the Housework: Focus on One Room Even if you can’t get all of the house looking spick and span at once, try to focus on one room that you can keep presentable. It’s important to have somewhere that you are not embarrassed for people to see. Isolation caused by not being comfortable with people seeing how you live will cause you to feel worse. We need people around us. We also need somewhere that we can relax and not be reminded of all the things that still need doing.
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I have known that I had arthritis since I was a teenager. I found a way to cope and got on with my life. I went to university, and started my career in radio. Then I met my husband, we got married and made the decision to have a family. It was a tough decision as I knew that my condition was progressive and at some point I would need to be cared for. My husband was fully aware of this when we got married but bringing a child into the world, who would possibly need to care for me in the future, was a different matter. When Adam was born, I was just overwhelmed by him and looking at his little face made me hopeful for the future.
“As the years have passed, I have managed to juggle my job, my child and my pain.” Then about a year ago, I started to feel more pain than usual and I started to lose movement and strength in my hands.
The time had come to start slowing down and asking for that help that I had always said no to. I started working part time; my career is such a big part of who I am - giving up completely would have caused me a lot of distress. I also started claiming PIP and was able to employ someone to come and take care of most of the cleaning for me. But there are little jobs that need doing more often than my cleaner comes in. At first I tried doing things like hoovering myself, but it was too much.
I Pay my Son to do Chores “I don’t know what the future holds and maybe I will need more structured care, but for now our little arrangement is mutually beneficial and neither of us feel compromised.”
Then my son asked me for money for an Xbox game and I had an idea. I said, “Yes, but you need to earn it”. And he does. He gets paid for all those little jobs I can’t do. Instead of thinking, I’m doing this because mum is ill, he is too busy calculating how many jobs he needs to do to get whatever it is he wants.
And I don’t need to feel guilty!
Stock photo as writer prefers to be anonymous
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House of Bath has lots of products to keep your pets squeaky clean and happy
www.houseofbath.co.uk
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Benefits of Simple Living: 7 Rewarding Aspects of Living Simply Whenever we think about living simply, we have a tendency to give attention to things we can easily see. We think about decluttering and donating. We celebrate clear countertops, uncluttered shelves, and tidy desks. While all those things are essential and worth celebrating, that’s just the start of simplicity.
The most rewarding aspects of simple living aren’t always visible...Once evident though, they can be truly life-changing.
The most rewarding aspects of simple living aren’t always visible, and can appear just a little vague until experienced. Once evident though, they can be truly life-changing.
7 invisible yet wonderful effects of simplicity and simple living: 1. Under-reacting A simpler life permits us to look more closely at our response. When things are too active and complicated, we get lost in a reactionary lifestyle. We say things we don’t mean and blow things completely out of proportion. Whenever we have time and energy to contemplate before responding, we can answer properly from a thoughtful place, rather than a fight or flight mentality.
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2. Self-care When we reduce commitments and obligations, and eliminate common stressors like credit card debt, unfulfilled careers, and hurtful relationships, we’ve allowed ourselves to take better attention of our core. We can find the time to take a nap or for writing and being creative, space for meditation, or perhaps a straightforward practice of gratitude.
space, to growth in our bank account, we are more hopeful and open to new experiences and possibilities. A simple life is a hopeful life. 6. Increased freedom Whenever we aren’t tied to technology, engaged in overreacting or feeling unfulfilled and tired, we feel the joys of freedom. We make smarter decisions, and enjoy lives we have wished for. Instead of aiming to live up to a typical path that someone else set for us, we are free to be exactly who we are. That’s freedom.
3. Better health 7. Benevolence Even without changing our diet or working out, simplicity can lower blood pressure and decrease the threat of disease. Stress can result in migraines, colds and even auto-immune conditions. If you’re fed up of feeling unwell and fatigued, simplify your life to aid your very best health. 4. More meaningful relationships It’s hard to get the best out of any relationship when we are constantly connected to our computers and phones. Our imaginations are full enough, and when we add tiers of digital information, it’s easy to reduce focus during a simple chat. Unplugging gives us a quiet platform, allowing us to pay attention and fully engage.
When we free up resources, need less to be happy, and also have the time to think about what we care about the most, we are simply more loving, caring and giving.
These unseen benefits become completely tangible, and they are the secret behind being more with less. Only a taste of the inner workings of a simpler life inspires us to go after even more simplicity. We naturally want less of the meaningless products and even more of what really matters.
5. Hope After experiencing some of the advantages of simplicity, from enjoying a superior liveable
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Clear the sills, use simple window treatments
&
Let the light in Letting the light in will make you feel more energised and less gloomy
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How To Add Your Signature To Your Home We all have a favourite colour or flower that brings us joy just by looking at it, but we do not necessarily want to decorate every room in the house with that colour or pattern. A really easy way to bring joy into every room is to use the colour or flower as a signature in every room. A picture, a table runner, a scented candle or bouquet of silk flowers, will all add your personal signature to a room, without overwhelming it. Having your signature in a room will ground you to your space and be a focus point that calms you in times of anxiety. By consciously placing your mark, you create a space that is a sanctuary, whatever is going on around you.
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Editions Living Room
By Laura Ashley
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OLIVER BONAS Instore and Online
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George Home at ASDA
Harmony Living Room
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Hannah Cox, Minimalist and Declutter Expert
We Asked The Experts
For Their Top Tips 33
Hannah Cox My top tip is to be kind to yourself in regards to how much gets done every day. Living with a chronic condition can sometimes lead to days in which regular housework is too difficult. I would encourage you to use a tip I learned from the Minimalists, which is to get rid of one item on day one, two on day two and so on. These items can be thrown away, donated or sold. If you plan to donate items, have a bag by the front door to collect them in, then take them to a charity shop once a week (not when you have finished decluttering the whole house, as you are more likely to 're-home' them). If you choose to try and sell items, arrange a car boot sale with a few friends to help to take the physical work out of it. Or simply post in buy/sell Facebook groups or on Ebay. Also, give these items a deadline. If you have tried selling them two or three times and they have not sold, then simply give them to charity.
Any items you decide to keep, make sure you use. If you have a stack of unread books, maybe put them by your bed, and commit to reading them for 30 minutes when you wake up or go to bed, or once a day with a cup of tea. Also, give these items a deadline, for example, anything not read within the year or six months must be donated. This will make you prioritise your time and which books you read. It will also take away any guilt we can associate with unused items being in your home.
The easiest thing to do is stop buying things you don't need. Rather than buy a new book, do you already have one at home you haven't read yet? Do you have clothes you haven't worn for a while you could start wearing again rather than shop for new things? Remember it has also taken you years to build up to the number of possessions you now have, so be kind to yourself about how long it will take to fully declutter your home. Just by decluttering a few items a day, you can rid your house of over 1000 items that you no longer need.
Hannah Cox. Hannah is a Minimalist Adventurer who believes that we should all enjoy our everyday life through meaningful work, great relationships, self care and adventure. Hannah suffers from chronic pain and mobility issues, has Scoliosis and wears a permanent back brace. Minimalism has helped her in many ways and she strongly believes in putting experiences above things. www.betternotstop.com
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Helen Clutton Helen runs hspace, a professional organising and decluttering service. Helen and her team cover East & West Sussex, Surrey and Hampshire but are always happy to travel to sort out a decluttering emergency! For more information please go to www.hspace.co.uk
Overwhelmed and exhausted is how I used to feel ALL OF THE TIME. And amazingly, that was at a time in my life when I was fit and well and had the energy levels of a Warrior Princess. But I could barely cope. Children, work commitments, house. My life was disorganised chaos. I was permanently shattered and endlessly trying to catch up with myself. One lucky day though, I discovered the art of decluttering. Over time, through decluttering and sorting, I began to simplify my surroundings which in turn helped me bring balance to my life. I was amazed at the positive impact it had not only on me, but on my family, my work, our lifestyle and relationships. In fact, I became so passionate about it, that I actually gave up my career in the law to become a professional organiser. I now help other people simplify their lives by working alongside them to declutter and organise their homes.
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The fact that I made this change to my life when I was fit and well was a stroke of luck, because now that I have Parkinson’s Disease, I couldn’t manage if my surroundings didn’t work for me. I have low energy levels these days and deal with constant pain. I work nearly every day and so I need to preserve my energy in order to be able to do my job and live a full life. I able to achieve this by keeping things simple. My house is joyfully easy to live in. It is comfortable and welcoming. No clutter means easy to clean. I know where everything is. Our wardrobes are streamlined and so are the products we use. My husband and I share shampoo, shower gel, toothpaste etc. We have drastically reduced the number of cleaning products we use, realising that many of them do the same thing anyway. Our desks are clutter free. Paperwork is under control. We have a moderate amount of linen but no extras. The same goes for cutlery and crockery. We use all our ‘best’ stuff every day because we love it and so we got rid of the ‘everyday’ stuff. I keep categories of things together such as wrapping paper, stationary, scissors and Sellotape.
I don’t waste my time looking for things and most importantly – I absolutely love the things I have chosen to keep around me. Our wardrobes are streamlined and so are the products we use. My husband and I share shampoo, shower gel, toothpaste etc. We have drastically reduced the number of cleaning products we use, realising that many of them do the same thing anyway. Our desks are clutter free. Paperwork is under control. We have a moderate amount of linen but no extras. The same goes for cutlery and crockery. We use all our ‘best’ stuff every day because we love it and so we got rid of the ‘everyday’ stuff. I keep categories of things together such as wrapping paper, stationary, scissors and Sellotape. I don’t waste my time looking for things and most importantly – I absolutely love the things I have chosen to keep around me. Small changes can make all the difference. You’ll have more space in your home, but also in your head and heart and soul. Decluttering really is transformative.
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The fact that I made this change to my life when I was fit and well was a stroke of luck, because now that I have Parkinson’s Disease, I couldn’t manage if my surroundings didn’t work for me.
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None of my clients have ever said that they wished their lives were more complicated and that their homes were more cluttered! I have never heard a single word of regret from any of them, after clearing and discarding mountains of stuff. If I had to sum up their feelings in a word it would be ‘relief’. Many have said ‘life-changing’. That is exactly what happened to me – decluttering changed my life.
Here are some tips to help you turn your home into a relaxing, easy space that works for you:
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Nicola Davis Nicola Davis is a multi award-winning personal stylist and colour consultant who offers group workshops and individual colour and style consultations from her studio in Hampshire. She is also able to provide a wardrobe weeding and personal shopping service in your own home, perfect for those who don't feel up to trawling the high street for clothes.
Nicola believes that most of us have too many clothes and not enough outfits which is why, despite having wardrobes crammed full of clothes, we still feel we have nothing to wear. She recommends paring your wardrobe back to a capsule collection of pieces that you look and feel good in and that can be mixed and matched to form multiple outfits. Once you understand what works for you in terms of your style personality, your lifestyle, shape, scale and proportions you will avoid wasting time, money and energy on clothes which you won't wear and getting dressed will become a pleasure. Join Nicola in one of her regular capsule wardrobe workshops to show you how to "weed" your existing wardrobe and build a simple, stylish and flexible new one of clothes you will look and feel fabulous in (for details, head to her website: www.mypersonalstyle.co.uk).
EDITOR'S NOTE Don’t keep clothes that you are saving on the off chance that you might lose weight, sometime in the future. You probably won’t and if you do, you will want to go out and buy something new. Clothes that don’t fit just confuse your wardrobe and psychologically dishearten you.
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Only wear clothes that hug you
And make you feel confident ...
And make you feel confident 39
Jo Marshall
When I work with my clients, I ask them to get everything out, all of their clothes, the ones stored away, those in the washing basket and under the bed. We then work through what clothes work for them.
The key things to consider and work through are: Do you love it? Does it make you smile when you put it on? If not, is there any other reason to keep it?
“I assist my clients to feel good in their clothes, to smile when they look at themselves, to have confidence in what they wear and to eliminate the stress of a cluttered wardrobe. Through colour analysis, knowing your body shape and wardrobe decluttering I help my clients with this.” www.sparkling-ginger.co.uk
If it’s a no, put it in the charity shop pile - I often find that people won’t throw it away but are happy for it to go to a charity shop. Most people will say they will sell it on Ebay but never get around to it and it just stays in a messy pile in the corner, so I opt for charity shops as the main option. A soft starting point to attempt this on your own is to set yourself a target of removing and getting rid of one item of clothing in month one, then two items in month two. To help this process , turn all your hanger hooks in the wardrobe to face away. As you wear something, turn the hanger head to face you. After one month, look at what hangers are turned round. This will help you start to eliminate clothes that you don't wear.
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Juliet Landau-Pope of JLP Coach is a certified coach and professional organiser. She helps busy people to manage time and space more effectively and runs workshops for adults and teens. Juliet is also the author of two books: Being More Productive and Clearing Your Clutter. For more info, see: www.jlpcoach.com
Here are my top tips for getting organised at home: Be positive. Frame your goals in positive terms and try to visualise direct and tangible benefits. Rather than thinking about ‘getting rid’ of stuff, think about the benefits of creating more space, order and clarity. And let go of self-criticism – like clutter, it accumulates over time but just gets in the way.
Juliet Landau-Pope
Be particular. Try to focus on very specific tasks with clear outcomes. Define bite-sized projects such as clearing just one coffee table or putting away one basket of clean laundry. Pace yourself and limit the time you allocate to each task. Set a timer (perhaps on your phone) if you like. You’ll be amazed what you can accomplish in just 15 minutes!
I love sharing tips to declutter and get organised. Many of my clients are dealing with challenges linked to chronic illness such as chronic fatigue or MS. And I myself have a chronic neurological illness called Charcot-Marie-Tooth which causes muscle weakness and limits mobility.
A place for everything. Try to avoid leaving things anywhere ‘just for now’. Allocate particular places for all your household belongings. Be proactive! Asking for help is a sign of strength and resourcefulness, not a sign of weakness. So don’t hesitate to ask friends, family or neighbours for assistance. Professional organisers can share practical strategies and boost motivation too. Celebrate progress rather than perfection. Real homes don’t need to look like magazines or show homes! 41
Editor’s Top Tip For Keeping Out The Clutter If it doesn’t fit into the cabinet…
It’s not coming in!
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“The objective of cleaning is not just to clean, but to feel happiness living within that environment.� Marie Kondo
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