The wrangler Special Edition
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Guys, we need to talk... By: Editor Max Basile '17 & The Wrangler Editing Team At The Wrangler, we have broken from our satirical form only once since our inception. However, this editorial wields no promise of a laugh and is by no means intended to be satirical. An issue has been brought to our attention that truly broke our hearts and left us filled with empathy and confusion. An issue that the administration, the media, and Mr. Ryan have already addressed, but we as students need to address. While some of the student body may not feel the change in tension and mood as a result of the election, there are many that feel it all too much. One student stated that “he is now forced to live the next four years in fear.” No student should have to fear for the safety of themselves and their families. No student should be subject to any form of verbal assault regardless of where their political support may lie. Now, for those of you who are unaware, (following Mr. Donald Trump’s victory) minority Brophy students have been victims of petty, shameful, racist comments. Snide remarks such as “he doesn't like Trump because he'll deport him” or “pack your bags” have been administered out by “friends” and strangers alike to these students. There is no humor in these comments, regardless if they are intended as “jokes,” for they have dealt a great deal of damage upon our community as a whole. On Wednesday, November 9, a meeting was held by the Brophy Culture Project where a handful of strong, independent young men cried as a result of the bullying. The palpable emotion even caused Mr. Rutt to weep as he issued a very moving and incredibly heartfelt apology. What he said was, “I did not do enough to stop the hate, to prevent this from happening, to protect all of you despite my overwhelming privilege. The reason that I wasn't active enough was because of my privilege... I was not able to see the danger of all this, there was no urgency because my status, place in the world was protected. I will be here to fight with you from now on.” It is undeniably clear this is not just any other election, and this meeting is by no means the start or end to this conflict. In Thursday’s football game, a student was spectating from the field because he felt so alienated from the Brophy community that he could not bring himself to cheer alongside the student section. He is a senior, and this would be the last football game he would ever spectate as a student.
talked about fears and revelations following the election. What Michael took away more than anything was an understanding of this message. He heard terrible stories of hateful comments (students being told, “January 19, hope you’re looking forward to your last day”), racially motivated actions (one student’s mother threatened at an intersection for wearing her hijab), and basic justice thrown out the window. While all this is impactful, what really resonated with almost everyone that talked was that this is the time to act with compassion and community. If we cannot do the simple action of standing with each other, then there is no way that we can call ourselves a “Brotherhood” any longer. Broncos, we are divided. A Latino student went as far as to say it is not Trump who makes him feel unsafe, but his peers. This is not a political issue, and we are we are in no way trying to attack Republican supporters. After all, this is a free democracy, and you have the right to support any person in any election. Rather, this is a moral issue that compromises all that we stand for as "Men for Others." When people begin to undermine the dignity of others based on racist and oppressive beliefs, something must be done. We cannot begin to contemplate how those who have been on the receiving end of this despicable behavior must feel. This is not the Brophy we know, love, cherish, and look forward to attending each and every day. That is why we at The Wrangler are presenting this issue to you. The purpose of this editorial is not to simply chastise those who perpetrated this bullying; however, should you be reading and find yourself riddled with guilt or shame, go out and reconcile with your Brother whom you may have betrayed. Be an unrelenting opponent to racism and discrimination both on campus and in your everyday life. Neither is the pupose of this editorial to remind the victims of their wounds that are surely still fresh and real. Should you be reading and find yourself filled with sorrow or contempt, we beg of you to open up your hearts and minds to the idea of forgiveness, even if you may not deem those who seek it deserving. We are a Brotherhood: not because we are an all boys school and certainly not because it is written in the Brophy brochures. We are a Brotherhood because we are placed in an environment that teaches we should care for the young men to our left and right as much as we care for ourselves.
As Men for Others, Brophy students are called to be the community when there is none. When there is hatred and divisiveness in the country, the Brophy men are called to be the bond for the rest of the world. No matter what candidate wins or loses in an election, we are called not to gloat or mope over the results, but to rise up and be the light as an example to others.
Therefore, we call all of you to join us in pledging your unyielding allegiance to the principles of Brophy. Below are signatures from our editors signifying our committment. We challenge you to do the same. Throughout next week, there will be a "unity" banner in the mall for students to sign. Please note that by signing, you vow to do the following: Speak out and stand up for your brothers. If you see or hear racism, be a part of the solution, not the problem.
With this in mind, Michael Murphy ’18 (co-editor of The Wrangler) attended the BSU/Hermanos Unidos joint meeting where students
Only together can we restore Brophy to greatness, and all it takes is one brave individual to lead by example.
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November 2016 Edition Roman Numeral Fifty-Four
News in Briefs • Both Danforth and Venberg caught redhanded using Turkey Drive money to fund campaigns • Canadian Student Union attendance increases after election results • APUSH teachers cancel test after making students recite the “Star-spangled Banner” as loud as possible • Connection found between Mrs. Venberg's email fiasco and malicious emails to students • Breaking: Danforth vows to end KBI immersion if elected • Reports find that Mr. Danforth '78 has ties to the Principal of Brophy’s Russian sister school, Put-In College Prep • Wrangler editors furious over end of things to satirize with finalization of election
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The Wrangler
"Venal Venberg" can't hold Danforth from winning By: Nik Kirk '19
GOP (God’s Over-conservative Party) candidate Mr. Tom Danforth '78 is currently behind in the polls in the race for president of Brophy. His rise to power has been closely followed by controversy, and he has highlighted his views with no regard for political correctness, unlike many of his opponents. At the top of his concerns are the “illegal” admissions of Brophy. Early in his campaign, Danforth said, “We need to build a wall along the canal, and Central High School is going to pay for it. They’re sending their worst students over to Brophy to make their standardized test scores look higher.” Many Brophy faculty and students took insult to his comments, claiming that Danforth “has no regard for human dignity.” However, some students agreed with the candidate, with one saying, “We
need law and order like the old Brophy.” Another major concern of Danforth’s is the loss of students to other schools, especially St. Mary’s. “They’re taking our applications, funding, and students. Our students are going over there for cheaper tuition. Not to mention our terrible agreements with the Diocese of Phoenix that are inhibiting our school’s growth. Our school is growing at less than 1% per year, and only I can fix that,” said Mr. Danforth. With no specifics on how to better Brophy’s attendance, many experts are critical of Danforth’s platform. Despite what some consider disrespectful rhetoric, Danforth has polled well among conservative Brophy faculty and students due to his “stamina.”
Venberg campaign eyes victory over "Deplorable Danforth" By: Michael Murphy '18 It seems as though the BDP (Brophy’s Debatable Party) has another “winner” of a nominee in Mrs. Kristin Venberg. The race for the president of Brophy was all but over to Americans when both Danforth and Venberg entered, but Danforth has shown to be a formidable foe for Venberg. Venberg declared her entry into the race with a 5-minute YouTube video that synthesized both APUSH notes and a campaign announcement, all in one. Her platform was simple: Smarter Together. As for policy, Venberg has vowed to continue and expand the widely-debated policy of “Reese-Care," created by the former President Reese. Venberg also plans to expand weekly hours of homework across the entire school, from 7.25 hours now to 12 hours by the end of her term.
However good her policies sound, Venberg’s campaign has been bedeviled by scandal after scandal for the past year. The trouble started with her email scandal, where more than 33,000 emails were found by Brophy to have the “Sent From My iPhone” signature, a clear violation of email code. Danforth also picks at the notion of a “Quality-grades for quality-prizes” system, where students who get good grades get special rewards. The nickname given, “Venal Venberg”, creates an even greater divide between the two followings behind the candidates, giving fuel to the flames of hatred toward the other. Going into the week of the election, it looks like it is going to be closer than Venberg expected at the beginning of the race, which is making both her and her followers very nervous about the outcome Tuesday.
Campaign cycle inspires new violent video game By: Mark John Haak '18
The political affiliation of Bernie Sanders: The back-and-forth punches thrown by the two candidates this year inspired some of the more creative Brophy students to create the hottest new game in the App Store.
Danforth found Cavorting with Putin By: Cooper Dinowitz '17
I mean, c'mon: Before the election, Mr. Danforth '77 tweeted this picture, along with the caption, "He does his Membean minutes by hacking the website! So creative! What a great leader."
Halloween costume contest brews political thunderstorm By: Alex Bhatt '17 At the end of last month, during the ostensibly amicable Big Brother-Little Brother Luncheon, tensions began to flare after the commencement of the annual costume contest. As the smoke finally cleared, it was evident that there were two clear winners (as decided by the highly accurate and very scientific scale of greatest amount of applause), and, consequently, the results could not have been spookier. The winning “Little Brother” costume was Fidel Castro. Yup. That Fidel Castro. At the moment, the staff believes that the student who dressed as Castro was none other than Bronco Kom U. Nissum ’20, the very student responsible for the Bay of Pigs crisis on-cam-
pus that led directly to the recent spike in the cost of the Breakfast Chorizo burritos. On the other side of the spectrum, however, we saw a Senior Aneeb Reyated ’17 win the Big Brothers’ contest dressed as “German Oktoberfest Guy.” Reyated was recently diagnosed with early-onset senioritis which has led to a nonchalance and indifference that has made him a king among the senior class. Two of the largest figures in Brophy politics today, Mrs. Kristin Venberg and businessman Mr. Tom “Taxi Vader” Danforth '75, decided to chime in on the local costume contest as the countdown for election day
begins. Danforth responded with outrage and remarked, “We cannot keep losing our costumes to countries like Cuba and Germany. We need a [y]uge wall so that this outsourcing ends immediately. And who knows? Maybe the contest was rigged from the start!” Venberg did not answer our question but did tell us that she missed Vine dearly and that we should “Ju-Ju on that beat to the polls.” Clearly not ideal responses to our school’s problem, but we will have to take anything we can at this point. This year the presidential candidates may seem bad to some people; but, maybe with some luck, we can expect an Oktoberfest Guy-Castro ticket in 2020.
Faculty split on two "beloved" candidates By: Mark John Haak '18
With Election Day looming, candidates Mr. Tom Danforth '74 and Mrs. Kristin Venberg are locked in a battle to win the vote of the different faculty depart- ments. As the race has tightened in the past couple weeks, the fight to win these votes is now fiercer than ever. Venberg has already secured the votes of her own Social Studies Department. "It'll be really, really, really nice to finally have a woman in office," said social studies teacher Mr. Ryan Hubbell. Danforth, on the other hand, has had trouble gaining control of his own English Department. Many of his fellow teachers have abandoned him and formed a group known as "English Teachers for Venberg".
Other departments have proved challenging for either candidate to win over. Venberg may have gained the upper hand in the Math Department after Danforth's promise to allow students to use calculators on every test appalled many math teachers. The Science Department has been split with no candidate holding any sort of advantage. "I'm voting for Danforth, since it'll be interesting to observe the effects of a real nuclear apocalypse," said chemistry teacher Mr. Andy Mazzolini. "I'm voting Venberg, since Danforth will cut the curves I hand out!" said biology teacher Ms. Cheryl Lenox. However, some departments have made it very clear who they will be supporting. The Fine Arts
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Max Basile ‘17 Alex Bhatt '17 Cooper Dinowitz ‘17 Michael Murphy ‘18 Nik Kirk '19
Moderators
Mr. John Damaso ’97 Ms. Serena Crosson Mr. Steve Smith ’96
Monthly Punching Bag Mr. Danforth '29
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Department has had a strong history of voting for alternating parties in every election, and this year they have landed in support of Danforth. "The alternating red and blue on our voting history creates a really neat pattern" said art teacher Mr. Nate Hester. The Spanish Department has thrown their support behind Danforth. "Venberg is just out of touch with us. Name one Spanish-speaking country where people ski," said Spanish teacher Mr. Andy Schmidbauer '86. The Religious Studies department has chosen to abstain from voting in this election. "Only God can save us now," said religion teacher Dr. Donlan.
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