Forever Young June 2020

JUNE 2020 |

FREE

Western New York’s FREE Monthly Magazine For Adults 50+, With More Than 85,000 Readers

Get Out in the Garden Helpful hints from local experts The Primrose Path | ‘Bee’ Good to Pollinators | Artist Deanna Weinholtz

Burning Feet?

Electric Shocks?

Pain & Numbness?

Pins & Needles?

Creepy Crawlies?

Are you experiencing sharp pain in your back, legs or buttocks? Do you have difficulty sitting or sleeping and experience cramping, weakness, tingling, numbness, balance issues?

FREE Seminar Wed., June 24th

1pm

Limited seating Call to reserve your space today!

You Might Have

NEUROPATHY

You may be experiencing symptoms of

SCIATICA

Sciatica will affect up to 50% of people at some point in their life. It is often the result of the aging process, STENOSIS, disc bulges/herniations or trauma to the spine which can cause the soft tissue and bones in the spine to harden or grow excessively. These changes may inflame muscles, narrow and put pressure on the spinal nerve roots causing symptoms described above. Sciatica is seen in any age group but most often greatly affects adults older than age 50. Other causes include piriformis syndrome. Prolonged pain without treatment could even lead to NEUROPATHY. We utilize a completely NEW TREATMENT PROTOCOL that may eliminate most if not all your pain and symptoms. It’s safe, FDA approved and highly effective for most people.

If you have had or want to avoid surgery, drugs or injections or have tried other therapies with little or no relief, then Call NOW to schedule a FREE consultation with one of our doctors to see if you are a candidate for this procedure.

Live your life again without pain, numbness, or medications with our NATURAL SOLUTION TO PAIN RELIEF! Our protocol is evidence based and researched backed, reducing the symptoms of neuropathy up to 90%. Some causes of neuropathy are due to, Diabetes, Restless legs, drug induced neuropathy, Stenosis, chemotherapy, and Idiopathic neuropathy. Peripheral neuropathy is a condition that affects nearly 20 million Americans. It usually begins in the feet and lower legs, but over time can advance into the hands and fingers. Until now the only treatment has been pain medications that are now becoming part of the opioid crisis, and in many cases simply do not help. We have utilized a completely NEW TREATMENT protocol, addressing the roots of neuropathy. Our procedures are safe and effective for all. Call NOW to schedule your free evaluation and consultation (normally $249) to see how we have revolutionized neuropathy treatment today.

WE CAN HELP YOU!!

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716-650-7246

4415 Union Rd., Buffalo, NY 14225 www.buffalopainrelief.com Serving Buffalo and Surrounding Areas

JUNE 2020

Grave situation

6

Early spring blooms

10

Painting through pain

16

On the cover: One of the many varieties of flowers found in the garden of Carole and John Hajnosz Photo by kc kratt

Genealogy 6

Cemetery Research......................... Carol DiPirro-Stipkovits

Features: Primroses and Pollinators 10 First Flowers............................................. Carol Ann Harlos 12 Bee Kind..................................................... Rebecca Cuthbert

Let's Talk About...

14 Loving Your Political Opposite........................Judith A. Rucki

My WNY 16 Artist Deanna Weinholtz.............................Judith A. Rucki

Being Well 18 Social Distance Health Tips.............................. StatePoint

Gardening is a perfect way to enjoy the outdoors while social distancing.

Ever y Issue: Calendars 3 | Crossword 5 | Bingo Buzz 8 | Classifieds 20 | Noteworthy 21

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EDITOR’S NOTE OUR 32ND YEAR 1738 Elmwood Avenue, Suite 103 Buffalo, NY 14207 Phone 716.783.9119 Fax 716.783.9983 www.foreveryoungwny.com

PUBLISHER

Barbara E. Macks Editor-In-Chief............................................................................Elizabeth Licata elicata@foreveryoungwny.com

Editor......................................................................... Wendy Guild Swearingen wswearingen@foreveryoungwny.com

Creative Director..................................................................... Jean-Pierre Thimot Production Director........................................................................ Jennifer Tudor jtudor@foreveryoungwny.com

Production Manager......................................................... Adam Van Schoonhoven Lead Designer............................................................................ Nicholas Vitello Senior Graphic Designers.............................................. Josh Flanigan, Kim Miers,

Andrea Rowley Graphic Designer........................................................................ Kristen Thomas Director of Marketing & Sales........................................................... Brittany Frey

bfrey@foreveryoungwny.com

Director of Advertising............................................................. Barbara E. Macks

bmacks@foreveryoungwny.com Director of Audience Development & Sales Coordinator.................... Robin Lenhard Senior Account Executives..................................... Mary Beth Holly, Keren Green, Caroline Kunze, Robin Kurss, Robin Lenhard, Betty Tata, Lori Teibel National Ad Director...................................................................... Terri Downey Administrative & Finance Director.......................................................................Michele Ferguson Classifieds Sales............................................................................... Robin Kurss BUFFALO SPREE PUBLISHING, INC.

President & CEO....................................................................... Sharon C. Levite Publisher/Chief Revenue Officer............................................... Barbara E. Macks Associate Publisher/Editor-In-Chief............................................... Elizabeth Licata Vice President/Production & Advertising.......................................... Jennifer Tudor Vice President/Administrative & Finance.....................................Michele Ferguson Corporate Counsel....................................................... Timothy M. O’Mara, Esq. Forever Young is published monthly, with an annual Senior Directory. Copyright ©2020 by Buffalo Spree Publishing, Inc. 1738 Elmwood Avenue, Suite 103, Buffalo, NY 14207 and is open Mon.–Fri. 8:30 a.m.–5 p.m. The entire contents of Forever Young are copyrighted 2020 by Buffalo Spree Publishing, Inc. and may not be reproduced in any manner, either whole or in part without written permission from the publishers. All rights reserved. Display advertising information and rates may be obtained by calling (716) 783-9119 ext 2250. For home delivery by mail, send check or money order for $12.00 payable to Forever Young. Standard mail postage paid at Buffalo, NY 14207. POSTMASTER send change of address to Forever Young, 1738 Elmwood Avenue, Suite 103, Buffalo, NY 14207. Manuscripts and free calendar listings should be sent to the editor (wswearingen@foreveryoungwny.com) at 1738 Elmwood Avenue, Suite 103, Buffalo, NY 14207. Material cannot be returned unless accompanied by a self addressed, stamped envelope of adequate size and strength. The publisher does not take responsibility for the accuracy or legitimacy of the advertising message or any aspect of the business operation or conduct of the advertisers in the paper.

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Membership in NAMPA includes verification of member’s print & circulation totals.

2

www.foreveryoungwny.com | June 2020

Dream on

Hello, dear readers.

I hope you all are doing well and coping with the coronavirus pandemic and its effects. I know it has taken a toll on all of us physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially.

As Western New York slowly reopens in stages, we have an opportunity to reset and reimagine what our lives could be. Now is the time to realize that dream you've always wanted to pursue, if only the timing were right. As we all know, there's no time like the present, because, really, that's all we ever have.

So, if you've ever thought about writing that novel, training for a 10K, trying new paint colors throughout your living space, or perfecting your sourdough bread recipe, get started!

June promises warmer weather at last, along with the prospect of getting out in the garden again.

Growing your own food or flowers is rewarding and easy to do. Whether your growing space is a back yard garden, forty acres, or a few pots set out on your patio or balcony,

Never miss a Forever Young!

Subscribe for $12/year!

Call 716-972-2238 or fill out and mail in the subscription form on page 8.

planting seeds or seedlings, nurturing them, and watching them grow is a life-affirming endeavor. If you have questions, Master Gardener and Forever Young garden columnist Carol Ann Harlos welcomes emails at caharlos@verizon.net. Get your hands dirty!

Wishing you good health and good spirits. Be well,

Wendy Guild Swearingen wswearingen@foreveryoungwny.com 783-9119 ext. 2253

FOREVER YOUNG JUNE *CALENDAR *DUE TO THE CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC, MOST, IF NOT ALL REGULARLY SCHEDULED MEETINGS AND EVENTS HAVE BEEN CANCELED IN COMPLIANCE WITH NEW YORK STATE LAW. WE'RE INCLUDING ONGOING EVENTS BELOW FOR CONTINUITY.

Ongoing Erie County STAY FIT DINING PROGRAM offers a hot noon meal at 45 locations in Erie County. Menus and site list at erie.gov/stayfit or 858-7639.

Gowanda HEALTH COMMUNITY ALLIANCE Activities open to the public age 50+, (no residency requirements), Concord Senior Center, 1 School Street, Gowanda; for schedule visit communityalliance.org; 5321010, or beemana@hcanetwork.org Niagara Falls SENIOR COMPANION/FOSTER GRANDPARENT PROGRAM Looking for seniors who enjoy working with their peers or children. Volunteers receive a tax-free stipend, transportation assistance, and supplemental insurance coverage while volunteering. If you are 55+, have a minimum of 15 hours per week to give, and want to make a difference, contact Nora Aloian (SCP) at 285-8224 ext. 217or Jennifer Britton (FGP) at 285-8224 ext. 228 Williamsville MEDICARE EDUCATION PROGRAM offers complimentary services through the WNY Medicare Resource Center.

Appointments encouraged, 833-0252 Buffalo MEDITATION, 2:30 p.m., El Buen Amigo, 114 Elmwood Ave. Free every Sunday. Meditation unites with creative arts and pain management.

Practitioner Sondra Holland welcomes people of all ages. Wear comfortable clothes. For information, Sondra: 9475092; store: 885-6343 Tonawanda TONAWANDA TOPS CLUB #50 Weekly meetings on Mondays, weigh-in 6 p.m./meeting starts at 6:25 p.m., Zion United Church Koenig & Parker Tonawanda; 912-6875 Farnham T.O.P.S. CLUB weekly meetings held Tuesdays at Holy Cross Lutheran Church, 10633 Church St., starting at 9 a.m. Call 934-9619.

Tonawanda T.O.P.S. CLUB, weekly meetings on Tuesdays, 9:30 a.m. at Blessed Sacrament Parish, Claremont Avenue. For information, call 693-5161

Kenmore UKULELE SING ALONG Ukuleles provided during class. All levels welcome beginner- experienced.

Tuesdays 8 p.m. Church of the Advent, 54 Delaware Rd., Kenmore $5 suggested donation. 481-5735 Buffalo TAI CHI FOR BETTER BALANCE 10:30 a.m. Tuesdays, Tosh Collins Senior Center, 35 Cazenovia St. $3 For more information, contact monicazucco@gmail.com.

Buffalo GENTLE YOGA, 11:15 a.m.

Tuesdays at Tosh Collins Senior Center, 35 Cazenovia St. $3 Bring a yoga mat.

Info: 828-1093 Tonawanda UKULELE SING ALONG Ukuleles provided during class.

All levels welcome. Tuesdays 5:30 p.m. and Thursdays 1:30 p.m. Brighton Place Library 999 Eggert Rd. Call to register 332-4375, $5 suggested donation Orchard Park ZUMBA Day and evening classes, Tuesdays at 6 p.m. and Thursdays at 11 a.m. $30 for an 8-week session. Orchard Park Senior Center, 70 Linwood Ave., Ph: 662-6452.

West Falls MEMORY CAFE A gathering place for friends with Alzhiemer's and their caretakers. 10-11:30 a.m. the 1st & 3rd Wednesday each month, with free refreshment and concerts11:30 a.m.–1 p.m. West Falls Center for the Arts, Center, 1863 Davis Rd., info: westfallsartcenter.org or 570-6520 Amherst FREE RESPITE CARE PROGRAM, 10:30 a.m.–2:30 p.m., Trinity Old Lutheran Church 3445 Sheridan Drive. First Wednesday of the month, for those caring for loved ones with Alzheimer’s or any form of dementia.

A morning snack and nutritious lunch are provided. Info: 836-4868 Boston HATHA YOGA Wednesdays at 7 pm. Gentle and meditative. Bring your own mat. Faith United Church of Christ, 8651 Boston State Road. For more info call church office 716-9413529

Holland FREE RESPITE CARE First Thursday, 10:30 a.m.–2:30 p.m. for those caring for loved ones with any form of dementia. Lunch included. Presented

by Holland Methodist Church, 11699 Partridge Rd.; 388-3150 Akron T.O.P.S. CLUB Thursdays, 5:30– 6:45p.m. at the Akron/Newstead Senior Center, 5691 Cummings Rd. We offer tools, programs, support, fellowship and recognition for healthy living and weight management. For information call Diane 542-4980 Tonawanda LAUGHTER YOGA Come as you are, just bring your laughter!

Thursdays 11 a.m. Brighton Place Library, 999 Eggert Rd., Tonawanda. FREE Cheektowaga T.O.P.S. MEETING, Thursdays at 9 a.m., St. Luke’s Lutheran Church, 900 Maryvale Dr. (corner of Union Road). Come for the love, support and friendship. For information, call Karen at 247-2334

Buffalo HEADWAY SUPPORT GROUPS, 2635 Delaware Ave. For individuals who have sustained brain injuries, their families, and caregivers; exchange information and resources, and find mutual support and encouragement. Peer Support (Suite B), 1st & 3rd Tuesday, 6:30–8 p.m.; Caregivers Support (Suite B), first Tuesday, 6:30–8 p.m. Info: 408-3100 or headwayofwny.org Cheektowaga T.O.P.S. #391 Meets Wednesdays, 9–10:30 a.m. upstairs at Cheektowaga Recreation Center, 2600 Harlem Rd. Info: MaryAnn 895-4414 Orchard Park TAI CHI Classes are Wednesdays at 1 pm.

8-week session costs $30. Orchard Park Senior Center, 70 Linwood Ave., Ph: 662-6452.

Williamsville WOMEN’S LYMPHEDEMA SUPPORT GROUP 5:45 p.m. the first Wednesday of each month. Sheridan Surgical room, 4510 Bailey Ave., Williamsville. Call 908-4149

Dr. Endl is reminding everyone to Wear Your Masks and Stay Safe!

WWW.FICHTE.COM

1-800-309-2020

June 2020 | www.foreveryoungwny.com 3

FOREVER YOUNG *JUNE CALENDAR *DUE TO THE CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC, MOST, IF NOT ALL REGULARLY SCHEDULED MEETINGS AND EVENTS HAVE BEEN CANCELED IN COMPLIANCE WITH NEW YORK STATE LAW. WE'RE INCLUDING ONGOING EVENTS BELOW FOR CONTINUITY. Niagara Falls NIAGARA FALLS SINGLES SOCIAL CLUB, An active 50+ crowd, Game Night 1st Saturday of each month,Wheatfield; contact for location or for more info 550-1232 Southtowns NEW HORIZONS MUSIC Calling all musicians interested in music. New Horizons Music meets in the daytime and is for people 50+. For info, email Janet Stout at 354janet@gmail. com and visit newhorizonsmusic.org.

Hamburg ALZHEIMER’S CAREGIVER SUPPORT GROUP for males at Wesleyan Church, 4999 McKinley Pkwy. 2nd Tuesday. 6260600, alz.org/wnyc Orchard Park ALIENATED GRANDPARENTS ANONYMOUS meetings 1 p.m. the 2nd Tuesday of month, 4295 S. Buffalo St. Depew BREAST CANCER NETWORK OF WNY Monthly meeting 2nd Tuesday, 6 p.m., Bella

Moglie Bldg., 3297 Walden Ave. Call 7060060 or visit bcnwny.org. Professional support group will be held at 8 p.m.

West Seneca AMANA GARDEN CLUB OF WEST SENECA, is welcoming new members interested in gardening, floral arrangement, and more the 2nd Wednesday of month, 11 a.m., Ebenezer United Church of Christ, 630 Main St. Info, Marie: 884-8543 Williamsville MCGUIRE GROUP MEMORY CARE SUPPORT GROUPS: General Support Group is 2nd Wednesday, 3 p.m. at Harris Hill Nursing Facility, 2699 Wehrle Dr., Williamsville; Daughters’ Support Group, 5 p.m.

Coordinated with the Alzheimer’s Association, with caregiving tips and coping mechanisms. Info: 632-3700 or mcguiregroup.com Hamburg SOUTHTOWNS OSTOMY SUPPORT GROUP Please join us and learn about the latest products, receive help, and meet new friends. Family

and friends welcome. 2nd Thursdays, March–November, 11:30 a.m. ZJ's Restaurant, 140 Pine St. (Please do not call the restaurant.) Info: Mike: 725-7126 Niagara Falls NIAGARA FALLS SINGLES SOCIAL CLUB, An active 50+ crowd, Meet & Greet, 2nd Friday of each month, 6 to 8 pm at Tim Hortons, 8500 Niagara Falls Blvd., NF. Call for more info 550-1232.

Buffalo LGBTQ MEMORY LOSS CAREGIVERS PROGRAM: The Pride Center of WNY offers the LGBTQ Memory Loss Caregivers Program

–

MONDAYS

Sloan CLOGGING LESSONS by Kickin’ Rhythm Cloggers, 6:30 p.m. @ St. Andrew’s Parish Hall, 111 Crocker St., Bldg. 1. (585) 457-4455.

Buffalo HUSTLE FOR HEALTH URBAN LINE DANCING with Phyllis Caver at Gloria Parks: 3242 Main St, Buffalo. noon–1 p.m. FREE for ages 55+ Call 832-1010 ext. 4

TUESDAYS

Buffalo LINDY FIX 8–10 p.m. @ Polish Cadets Hall, 927 Grant St. lindyfix.com, swingbuffalo.com.

WEDNESDAYS

4th Wednesdays @ VFW Post in Village of Williamsville. 7 p.m. Info: Geraldine, 877-0222 or amherstvictoriandance.org

THURSDAYS

Kenmore JACKIE’S THURSDAY NIGHT DANCES @ Brounshidle Post, 3354 Delaware Ave. Lessons: 7 p.m. Open dancing: 8 p.m. 691-8654.

SATURDAYS

Buffalo HUSTLE FOR HEALTH URBAN LINE DANCING at East Community High School 820 Northampton St, Buffalo. 11:30 a.m.– 12:30 p.m. FREE for all ages. Free Lunch. Www.HustleforHealth.com

ONGOING

WNY BELLYDANCE CLASSES 5601891, nadiaibrahim.com.

N. Ton. DANCING WITH DOTTIE AND FRIENDS country-style line lessons, 7:30 p.m. @ Pendleton Center Meth. Church, 6864 Campbell Blvd.

625-8306.

WNY BALLROOM SOCIAL DANCE, Argentine tango and belly dance instruction with Carol Allen; N. Collins and Amherst. 337-3092 or callen8801@aol.com.

Buffalo HUSTLE FOR HEALTH URBAN LINE DANCING with Phyllis Caver at Gloria Parks: 3242 Main St, Buffalo. 11 a.m.–12 p.m.

FREE for ages 55+ Call 716 832 1010

West Seneca BALLROOM DANCE classes @ 1761 Orchard Park Rd., 7713110, ballroomiliana.com.

Amherst AMHERST VICTORIAN DANCE SOCIETY Authentic music, dress and dance of Queen Victoria's time. New members and guests welcome! 1st Wednesdays @ Buffalo Niagara Heritage Village in Amherst & www.foreveryoungwny.com | June 2020

Niagara Falls NIAGARA FALLS SINGLES SOCIAL CLUB, An active 50+ crowd. Dances are the 3rd Friday of each month, 7 to 11 pm at Buffalo Social Club 2565 Young St., Niagara Falls. Monthly activites include Picnics, restaurants and parties. 50-50 raffles, and door prizes.

FaceBook: SINGLES SOCIAL CLUB or call for more info 550-1232

*DANCE CALENDAR

Kenmore JACKIE’S DANCE Two lessons, 7–9 p.m. dance. Call 407914-5251 for details.

4

providing support and education for people providing care for a person with Alzheimer’s Disease and other dementias.

3rd Tuesday each month at 5:30 p.m., Pride Center, 200 South Elmwood Ave., Buffalo, 852-7743 or pridecenterwny.org

WNY DANCE W/ ERIN BAHN 9977190 ARGENTINE TANGO IN BUFFALO Dancing & Classes. traviswidricktango.com. Contact Travis @ 517-7047

GENEALOGY 21. Dojo turf

40. What Deep Throat did

22. Was sick

43. Stumblebums

23. Parkinson's disease drug

45. Type of shards

24. African antelope, pl.

47. *Announcement device

25. Gaspar, Balthasar and Melchior

48. Island off Manhattan

26. Veranda in Honolulu

49. Head of family

27. "____ came a spider..."

50. All over again

28. European finch

51. Silly talk or writing

31. *"Excellent in all we do" org.

52. *____-de-camp

32. None left when on E

53. Letter opening

35. *____ formation, or on diagonal

54. Flash dancers

37. Make synchronous

57. NaOH

39. Credit card payment alternative, acr.

THEME: ARMY AND NAVY ACROSS 1. Smoothing tool

47. *Omaha ____

5. Broadband access overseeing org.

49. Baby whale

8. Attorneys' org.

51. *It's a wall to a civilian

11. Length times width

54. Hands, to #12 Down

12. *Lined up single ____

55. Check out

13. Lump of stuff

56. Cambodian money

14. Carpet attribute

58. Welcoming sign

15. Cut the crop

59. Went down slippery slope

16. Lingo

60. *Date of Allied landing

17. *Entire ship's company 19. Toothy wheel 20. Gives a helping hand 21. They're from mars?

22. Language family, includes Turkic and Mongolian 25. Indian spice mix, pl.

29. Bachelor's last words 30. Baby Ruth component 33. One of the Earnhardts 34. She goes by Lo? 36. Actors' grp.

37. Mister in Madrid 38. Colossal 39. With no effort 41. American cuckoo

61. *Opposite of stern 62. "For ____ a jolly good.."

63. Dried-up DOWN 1. Grammy category 2. Diva's solo 3. Unload 4. Saffron-flavored rice dish 5. Evil one 6. Wears 7. Porcini mushrooms 8. Aquarium scum 9. Uncouth one 10. Address abbreviation

42. Leave hastily, two words

12. Spanish dictator, 1939-1975

44. *Commissioned officer of the lowest rank

13. *Throwing weapon 16. Ice, dark, and middle, e.g.

46. "____, drink, and be merry"

18. Pittsburgh Steelers' ____ Field

The solution for this month’s puzzle can be found on page 20.

June 2020 | www.foreveryoungwny.com 5

GENEALOGY

Cemetery Research STORY AND PHOTO

BY CAROL DIPIRRO-STIPKOVITS

W

ith warmer temperatures and social distancing still in place, there’s no better time to get out of the house and do a bit of hands-on cemetery research. Where your ancestors are buried can give you a peek into who they were and what was important to them. Why should you visit the cemetery if you already have a birth and death date for your ancestor? Because you never know what you may find. Nearby gravestones can lead you to other family members. Little grave markers can tell the story of children who died in infancy for whom no other records exist. Flowers left on a grave may lead you to living descendants.

If you think about it, cemeteries can be an excellent source of military service and membership of a larger plot of family land. Did provide lessons in family history. dates, birthplaces, maiden names, in a fraternal organization. If you you find your ancestor in a church While not considered a primary spouses’ names, and parents’ names. find your ancestor buried in a cemetery? This would indicate they information source, gravestones They can also provide evidence of family cemetery, it was likely part were involved in a faith community.

The first step in your cemetery research is locating where your COME HOME TO ancestor was buried. Death records, obituaries, and funeral home records can help identify this. Also look at close relatives of the ancestor. If you’ve located a sibling grave already, reach out to the cemetery office to inquire about others with the same surname.

I did this recently when visiting 1 & 2 BEDROOM STYLES my grandparent’s cemetery and 834.3711 found an uncle’s grave that had 410 Hartford Road been hiding from me for years. Ask Amherst, NY 14226 family members too, as they may (off Millersport - 1 Block, North of Sheridan) A quiet senior community nestled in the heart of Amherst.

Shaarey Zedek Apartments

6

www.foreveryoungwny.com | June 2020

ARTS

CAROL DIPIRRO-STIPKOVITS know the location, have a mass or prayer card, or even possess a longlost family Bible. Keep in mind that where your ancestor lived may not be the same place they died and vice-versa.

Newspapers can also be a fantastic place to discover obituaries that often include the burial site.

In New York, we are lucky to have fultonhistory.com, which gives free access to so many newspapers across the state. Newspapers.com,

an extension of ancestry.com, also offers millions of newspapers from around the world with a subscription.

Now that you have the cemetery name in hand, you’ll need to locate it. Findagrave.com and billiongraves.com allow users to search for cemeteries around the world. On the findagrave.com home page, you can search by an ancestor’s name, cemetery, or location. The map view shows the exact location, should you want to visit. Billiongraves.com allows users to collect photos of headstones and upload them to the site using a phone camera app. Once uploaded, the photo is tagged with the GPS location and becomes available to all users. (I located an ancestor’s tombstone in Italy!)

Let’s say you’ve found the cemetery, but discover the grave is not marked. This can be so disappointing. At the very least, you want to know where the grave

is located, so you can pay your respects. But, as a genealogist, you’d also like a photo for your family history records. My suggestion is to reach out to the cemetery office. Not all of them have an office, but if the one you’re exploring does, request a map of burials. The office will have information on where they are located, even if they are unmarked.

No cemetery office? Try calling the town or city hall and find out which department oversees cemeteries so you can obtain a map of burials in that particular cemetery. I had great luck find an ancestor’s “pauper” grave this way and put a marker up myself. (It’s not weird, lots of genealogists do this!)

Most important, notice the graves in the same area as your ancestor. I learned to never overlook what’s right in front of me when I photographed the graves surrounding my grandparents on a whim. After a little research, I found the husband and wife next to them, although not

related, held a significant connection.

The women had traveled from Italy to Ellis Island together in 1912. I like to think they were friends until the end.

Planning a cemetery research trip is a wonderful way to learn more while paying respect to previous generations. I consider cemeteries sacred ground where tombstones stand as monuments to an ancestor’s life. Implementing these tips should make your next adventure into finding your ancestors’ resting place a bit more productive. Stay safe, and happy hunting! FY Carol DiPirro-Stipkovits is a member of the National Genealogical Society and Association of Professional Genealogists. She is a Board member and President of the Niagara County Genealogical Society, guest lecturer and freelance writer. Send questions or comments to her at noellasdaughter@ gmail.com.

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June 2020 | www.foreveryoungwny.com 7 5/19/20 10:15 AM

Bingo Calendar

Bingo Calendar All Bingo is likely canceled due to the COVID-19 pandemic. This calendar serves as a placeholder.

MONDAY AMERICAN LEGION #1322 STEPHEN SIKORA POST 950 Payne Ave., Nort Tonawanda 7:25 p.m...................................... 693-1740 CONGREGATION SHIR SHALOM 4660 Sheridan Dr., Williamsville 7:30 p.m...................................... 633-8877 AMERICAN LEGION MCKEEVER POST 1770 South Park Ave., Buffalo 7:30 p.m...................................... 822-6400

HOLY MOTHER OF THE ROSARY CATHEDRAL Fellowship Hall, 6298 Broadway, Lancaster 11:30 am...................................... 683-7527 FATHER JUSTIN K OF C 2735 Union Rd., Cheektowaga 7:30 p.m...................................... 681-7251 AMERICAN LEGION POST 1041 533 Amherst St., Buffalo 7 p.m........................................... 875-9276 AM. LEG. POST NO. 567 3740 N. Buffalo Rd., O. Park 7:30 p.m...................................... 662-9780 ST. AMELIA 2999 Eggert Rd., Tonawanda 7:15 p.m...................................... 836-0011

SENECA GAMING AND ENTERTAINMENT 11099 Route 5, Irving 7 p.m........................................... 549-4389 DOWNTOWN POST NO. 64 A.L. INC. 1770 South Park Ave., Buffalo 7:30 p.m.

VALLEY COMMUNITY ASSOCIATION 93 Leddy, Buffalo 7:30 p.m...................................... 823-4707 MATTHEW GLAB POST 1965 Abbott Rd., Lackawanna 7:30 p.m..................................... 825-3733 HAMBURG–KNIGHTS OF COLUMBUS 36 Pierce Ave., Hamburg 7:30 p.m.................. 649-9830/649-4340

TUESDAY AMVETS MEDALLION POST NO. 13 25 Review Pl., Buffalo 7:30 p.m...................................... 874-0559 ASSUMPTION PARISH 435 Amherst St., Buffalo 1 p.m........................................... 876-1038 FATHER JUSTIN K OF C 2735 Union Rd., Cheektowaga 1 p.m........................................... 681-7251

ST. ANDREW’S CHURCH 1525 Sheridan Dr., Kenmore 7:30 p.m...................................... 873-6716 OUR LADY OF POMPEII 129 Laverack, Lancaster 7 p.m........................................... 683-6522 WHEATFIELD NO. 1451 6525 Ward Rd., Sanborn 7:25 p.m...................................... 731-4712 GEORGE F. LAMM POST 962 Wehrle Dr., Williamsville 7:30 p.m...................................... 204-2405 RESURRECTION BINGO 130 Como Park Blvd.

7 p.m........................................... 683-3712 HARTLAND VFC 8945 Ridge Rd., Hartland 7:30 p.m.

ARMOR VOL. FIRE CO. 4932 Clark St., Hamburg 7:30 p.m...................................... 649-9821 ST. ANDREW CHURCH 111 Crocker St., Sloan 7:30 p.m...................................... 892-0425 SENECA GAMING AND ENTERTAINMENT 11099 Route 5, Irving 7 p.m........................................... 549-4389

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Bingo Calendar B.O.Y.S. ASSOCIATION OF LACKAWANNA VFW, 2909 South Park St., Lackawanna 7:20 p.m...................................... 948-0316

WEDNESDAY ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI 4263 St. Francis Dr., Athol Springs 7:30 p.m..................................... 627-2710 SHAWNEE VOL. FIRE COMPANY 3747 Lockport Rd., Sanborn 7:30 p.m. ................................... 731-3666 AM. LEG. MCKEEVER POST 1770 S. Park Ave., Buffalo 7:30 p.m..................................... 822-6400 KENMORE K OF C 1530 Kenmore Ave., Buffalo 1 p.m........................................... 875-5780 FATHER JUSTIN K OF C — SPONSORED BY THE JUSTINETTES 2735 Union Rd., Cheektowaga 7:30 p.m...................................... 681-7251 FATHER BAKER K OF C at the Matthew Glab Post 1965 Abbott Rd., Lackawanna (on hiatus until 4/22) 825-3733 LANCASTER K OF C 6114 Broadway, Lancaster 11:45 a.m..................................... 684-2901 SENECA GAMING AND ENTERTAINMENT 11099 Route 5, Irving 1 & 7 p.m.................................... 549-4389 ST. ALOYSIUS RCC 156 Franklin, Springville 7:30 p.m...................................... 592-2701 ST. AMELIA 2999 Eggert Rd., Tonawanda 7:15 p.m...................................... 836-0011 ST. MICHAEL’S BINGO 140 Warsaw, Lackawanna 7:15 p.m...................................... 825-9415

THURSDAY FATHER JUSTIN K OF C 2735 Union Rd., Cheektowaga 1 p.m............................................ 681-7251 BLESSED TRINITY 317 Leroy Ave., Buffalo 8 p.m........................................... 833-0301 ST. BERNARD’S CHURCH Clinton @ S. Ogden, Buffalo 7:30 p.m...................................... 822-8856 PVT. LEONARD POST 2450 Walden Ave., Cheektowaga 7:30 p.m...................................... 684-4371 ST. JAMES DEPEW 500 Terrace Blvd., Depew 7:30 p.m.......................................683-2746

ST. ANDREW’S CHURCH 1525 Sheridan Dr., Kenmore 7:30 p.m.......................................873-6716 SENECA GAMING AND ENTERTAINMENT 11099 Route 5, Irving 7 p.m........................................... 549-4389 FOURTEEN HOLY HELPERS 1345 Indian Church Rd., West Seneca 7:00 p.m....................................... 674-2374 K OF C MADONNA COUNCIL NO. 2535 755 Erie Ave., North Tonawanda 7:20 p.m.......................................693-5470 VFW COL. WEBER POST 989 2909 South Park Ave., Lackawana 7:30 p.m...................................... 823-9605

FRIDAY AM. LEG. MCKEEVER POST 1770 South Park Ave., Buffalo 7:30 p.m..................................... 822-6400 ASSUMPTION PARISH 435 Amherst St., Buffalo 7:30 p.m...................................... 876-1038 KENMORE K OF C 1530 Kenmore Ave., Buffalo 7:30 p.m...................................... 875-5780 OUR LADY HELP OF CHRISTIANS 4125 Union Rd., Cheektowaga 7:30 p.m...................................... 634-3420 SENECA GAMING AND ENTERTAINMENT 11099 Route 5, Irving 7 p.m.......................................... 549-4389 ST. ALOYSIUS GONZAGA 157 Cleveland Dr., Cheektowaga 7:30 p.m...................................... 833-1715 ST. ANDREW’S CHURCH 1525 Sheridan Dr., Kenmore 7:30 p.m...................................... 873-6716 DALE ASSOCIATION CENT. 33 Ontario St., Lockport 7 p.m........................................... 433-1886 SANBORN VFC 5811 Buffalo St., Sanborn 7:45 p.m...................................... 731-4616 MILLGROVE VFC 11621 Genesee St., Alden 7:45 p.m...................................... 937-7612 GASPORT CHEMICAL HOSE 8412 State St., Gasport 7:30 p.m...................................... 772-7751 OUR LADY OF PERP. HELP 115 O’Connell St., Buffalo 7:30 p.m...................................... 852-2671 ST. PHILIP THE APOSTLE 950 Lossen Rd., Cheektowaga 7:00 p.m...................................... 668-8370

(continued)

SATURDAY ST. AMELIA’S RCC 2999 Eggert Rd., Tonawanda 1 p.m........................................... 836-0011 ASSUMPTION PARISH 435 Amherst St., Buffalo 7:30 p.m...................................... 876-1038 BLESSED TRINITY 317 Leroy Ave., Buffalo 8 p.m........................................... 833-0301 CARINAL O'HARA HIGH SCHOOL 39 O'Hara Rd., Tonawanda 7:30 p.m........................... 695-2600 x326 ST. JOHN XXIII 1 Arcade St., W. Seneca 7 p.m........................................... 823-1090 INFANT OF PRAGUE 921 Cleveland Dr., Cheektowaga 7:15 p.m...................................... 634-3660 ST. ALOYSIUS GONZAGA 157 Cleveland Dr., Cheektowaga 1 p.m........................................... 833-1715 OUR LADY OF POMPEII 129 Laverack, Lancaster 7 p.m. (1st Sat.).......................... 683-6522 SENECA GAMING AND ENTERTAINMENT 11099 Route 5, Irving 1 & 7 p.m.................................... 549-4389 ST. ANDREW CHURCH 111 Crocker St., Sloan 7:30 p.m...................................... 892-0425 PALLOTTINE FATHERS 3452 N. Falls Blvd., Wheatfield 7 p.m........................................... 694-4313 SOUTH WILSON VFC 4193 Chestnut Rd., Wilson 7:30 p.m...................................... 751-6079 CORPUS CHRISTI CHURCH 199 Clark St., Buffalo 2 p.m........................................... 896-1050 OUR LADY OF BISTRICA 1619 Abbott Rd., Lackawanna 7:15 p.m...................................... 822-0818 BUFFALO GAY BINGO/ AIDS PLUS FUND OF WNY Westminster Church, 724 Delaware Ave., Buffalo 7 p.m (2nd Sat.)........................... 882-7840

ST. BERNARD’S CHURCH Clinton @ S. Ogden, Buffalo 7:30 p.m...................................... 822-8856 OUR LADY HELP OF CHRISTIANS 4125 Union Rd., Cheektowaga 7 p.m........................................... 634-3420 SENECA GAMING AND ENTERTAINMENT 11099 Route 5, Irving 1 & 7 p.m.................................... 549-4389 DELEVAN VFC N. Main St., Delevan 7 p.m........................................... 492-1910 ST. ANDREW’S CHURCH 1525 Sheridan Dr., Kenmore 7 p.m........................................... 873-6716 OUR LADY OF POMPEII 129 Laverack, Lancaster 7 p.m........................................... 683-6522 LOCKPORT ELKS LODGE 41 6791 N. Canal Rd., Lockport 7 p.m........................................... 434-2798 PVT. LEONARD POST 2450 Walden, Cheektowaga 7 p.m.........................................684-43710

BINGO IN CANADA UNCLE SAM’S 427 Garrison Rd., Fort Erie 905-994-0505 GOLDEN NUGGET 655 Garrison Rd., Fort Erie 905-871-1277 DELTA MONTE CARLO 4735 Drummond, N. Falls 905-356-8104

CASINO SENECA GAMING Broad St., Salamanca 945-4080, 877-860-5130 ONEIDA INDIAN HIGH STAKES BINGO AT TURNING STONE 5218 Patrick Rd., Verona 800-782-1938

SUNDAY CARDINAL O'HARA HIGH SCHOOL 39 O'Hara Rd., Tonawanda 1 p.m..695-2600 x326 OUR LADY OF THE SACRED HEART 3148 Abbott Rd., O. Park 2 p.m........................................... 824-2935 KENMORE K OF C 1530 Kenmore Ave., Buffalo 7 p.m........................................... 875-5780 June 2020 | www.foreveryoungwny.com 9

FEATURE

Primroses

So much to love!

I

am so happy to be with all of you again. Between many phone calls, FaceTime, writing, working on a quilt, learning to weave, and then redoing some of the gardens, I have been quite busy. And now I am teaching online using Zoom and Webex. But I do miss human contact!

CAROL ANN HARLOS Do you grow primroses in your gardens? You must grow them, even if you may have room for only one or two! These middle- to late-spring bloomers are such a welcome sight, and rabbits and deer don't seem to pay attention to them.

True primroses belong to the family Primulaceae. Don't confuse them with native evening primroses, which belong to an unrelated plant family.

Evening primroses are naturalized throughout much of North America.

True primroses were imported from

all over the world including Europe, Tibet, and Western Africa.

Back to our garden (true) primroses.

They are not really “prim” but “prime” meaning that they are among the first spring flowers to bloom. The commonest primroses are called Primulus vulgaris which means they are a common (“vulgaris” means common not vulgar!) plant that blooms early.

There are several types that bloom all season long if it doesn't get too hot and dry. I grow them under trees, which keeps them out of the hot summer sun but enables the primroses to receive spring sun before the trees have leafed out.

There are several types of primroses. I love the candelabra primroses (Primula beesiana) as well as the common primroses. Whorls of flowers are carried on strong upright stems. They are very hardy and often bloom from spring into summer. Cut off the spent blossoms, give them some compost and some moisture, and you will be rewarded with a long season of bloom.

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Primroses are some of the first flowers to bloom. Photos by Carol Ann Harlos

You can let some of the flowers go to seed, by the way, and after a few years, you will have a nice clump of flowers.

I have had them seem to disappear for a year or two and suddenly there they are again. From seedlings, perhaps.

Then there are the alpine auricula primroses, Primula auricula. These come in many colors. The flowers look like clusters of little ears. ( I read somewhere that the ears resemble

those of bears that live near the Tatras mountains!)

Double primroses make people ask, “What are those plants?” The flowers look so much like small roses and, to me, they smell fragrant. They also come in many colors. These primroses tend to disappear from my garden after a few years. I believe they are simply a short-lived perennial much like my beloved lupines.

FEATURE Allioni’s primrose is a very early spring flowering plant. The flowers cover up the leaves. You can recognize them because the center of each flower usually is white.

Giant cowslip is a large, tall primrose growing up to several feet. The flowers are in umbels (like an umbrella). The base of each flower looks silvery. These didn't show up this year.

Primroses are pollinated by many different insects—I have seen bumblebees on the flowers. Such a pretty sight!

The seeds of primroses are spread by ants who take the seeds to the nest. The ant larvae eat a part that is attached to the seeds. Then the ants move the seed itself to their “garbage dump” where the seeds germinate.

Voila! More primroses.

I understand that the leaves of primroses are edible. They can also be used to make tea (properly called a tisane), but I have tried neither the leaves nor the tisane. Better safe than sorry, I say!

This year, I sent away for some primrose seeds. I sprinkled the tiny seeds on top of moistened seed starter mix. They are presently very tiny plants. I will need to harden them off before placing them in the garden.

I hope they overwinter well and successfully grow into new plants. I will place metal garden cloches over them, so I don't accidentally disturb them during the growing season and when they, hopefully, emerge next spring. (I also placed the cloches over the lupines as they died down last autumn so I would avoid damaging them as they re-emerged this spring. I had grown some lupines from seed, and they were still so tiny in the autumn.) It's a good thing to protect them, as it is so easy to uproot young plants in the spring. FY I so look forward to hearing from you again and thank those of you who took the time to send email questions and comments during our hiatus. Email me at caharlos@verizon.net.

The sweet flowers come in many colors and shapes and thrive in shady spots.

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June 2020 | www.foreveryoungwny.com 11

FEATURE

‘Bee’ Kind to Pollinators!

BY REBECCA CUTHBERT

E

very gardener, from the casual petunia planter to the competitive crookneck squash grower, has gotten the memo: make your gardens pollinator friendly, because if we lose our bees, we lose our flowers and our food!

But how does that awareness translate to actionable steps we can all take in our own backyards?

Jeff Tome, senior nature educator, marketing director, and “bee guy” at the Audubon Community Nature Center, spends a great deal of time and energy studying these tiny heroes and how to best preserve their numbers.

“What’s fascinating to me is that a lot of times, when people think about bees, they just think about honeybees,” Tome says. “But New

York has over 350 different species of bees—there is just an incredible range and diversity of bees in this state.”

Regardless of species, though, all those buzzin’ cousins share the same short list of must-haves. They need steady food sources, constant access to water, places to nest and ride out the cold months, and to not be poisoned with fertilizers and pesticides.

Ring the dinner bell As for what to plant in your garden, think variety and longevity.

“At the Audubon, we have pollinator gardens and butterfly gardens and native plant gardens,” explains Tome. “When we create them, we are focused on blossoms that last through all three seasons.

Bees like a range of flowers, too.”

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According to the Xerces Society for Invertebrate Conservation (xerces.org), gardeners in the Great Lakes region can do the most good by providing habitats for bees that are rich in wildflowers. Nectar is bees’ primary food source, and female bees bring pollen home to feed their little ones. Native wildflowers have the advantage of being low maintenance, as well— they require less water than nonnative blooms and don’t need to be pampered. Plants like wild lupine, dotted mint, purple coneflower, and calico aster will keep the pollen party going all summer long.

But, notes Tome, don’t forget to think big.

“When you are planting a garden with bees in mind, think about trees and shrubs,” he says. “They like maples and redbuds. Flowering trees are one of bees’ main food sources in early spring.”

Broadening your definition of beauty might also be helpful. Think of it this way: every time you pull out a dandelion, a bee loses its dinner.

“Let the dandelions and violets grow!” says Tome. “Bees often depend on the nectar from all those colorful yard ‘weeds’ to survive.”

Less work for you and more food for them? It’s a win-win!

Provide fresh (shallow) water This one is easy. All living things need water, but keep it shallow for bees, to reduce their chances of drowning or becoming exhausted by trying to swim. This can be as simple as filling a bowl with pebbles and water or setting out saucers in a few places throughout your garden. Make sure to check them often and refill as needed—bees won’t be the only thirsty visitors this growing season.

Give them shelter Not all bees live in hives they build themselves. Some species live in ground nests or in hollow crevices in trees or dead logs. Some bees live in groups, while others prefer a solitary lifestyle. Also, bees may spend the winter months in different digs than they move into

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for the spring and summer, kind of like Western New York snowbirds!

“Bees in New York have different ways of ‘winterizing,’” says Tome.

“There is no simple answer to how bees spend the winter.”

To help bees find the shelter they need, don’t do too much cleanup in the fall. If there is a dead log at the edge of your yard, leave it there. If a pile of leaves gets swept against your back fence, don’t rake it up.

If you need to cut a tree down, consider leaving the stump alone to decompose naturally.

In warmer months, look for bee activity around trees and yard debris and along the ground, especially before you mow. If you notice several bees hanging around in one spot, steer clear, and keep pets out of the area. The bees probably have a nest there and disturbing it could lead to stings.

Ditch the poisons Harmful garden chemicals like fertilizers, fungicides, herbicides, and pesticides are killing bees at alarming rates. Bees are exposed to these toxins directly, through sprays; and indirectly, by eating poisoned nectar and nesting on or with contaminated material. The less clean, green space bees can access, the more their numbers will shrink.

“Forget the pesticides,” says Tome. “If you want bees to have

a long life, you can’t poison their flowers and you can’t poison your yard.”

Instead, expand your garden horizons with new knowledge and adjusted thinking. Skip synthetic fertilizers and research natural compost. Plant native species that you won’t need to fuss over.

Learn to love the cheerfulness of dandelions. Look up organic pest deterrents and plant insect- and disease-resistant varieties of flowers and vegetables. After all, isn’t the joy of discovery why you fell in love with gardening in the first place?

Creating a bee-friendly garden isn’t as hard as you may have thought. By letting the dandelions grow and leaving the brush pile to rot, it means less work for you!

To increase your positive impact, encourage your neighbors to adopt the same practices, so bees feel welcome up and down your street.

As a reward, you’ll all have healthier gardens, enjoy more flowers and vegetables, and hear the best song of the summer—the contented drone of bees buzzing around your backyard! FY Rebecca Cuthbert lives, writes, and cares for shelter dogs in Dunkirk. She is a frequent contributor to Forever Young.

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McGuire Group Facilities Rank Top in the State, Nation The federal Centers for Medicare and Medicaid, CMS, recently ranked the McGuire Group’s five WNY facilities in the top 2 percent in the nation for quality metrics. In addition, the group’s Autumn View Health Care Facility in Hamburg was rated No. 1 in the state and No. 2 in the nation out of more than 15,000 nursing homes.

The McGuire Group’s other WNY facilities include: Garden Gate Health Care Facility in Cheektowaga, Harris Hill Nursing Facility in Williamsville, Northgate Health Care Facility in North Tonawanda and Seneca Health Care Center in Wet Seneca.

The metrics take into account consistency in monitoring and managing best practices, quality assurance, performance improvement, hospital readmissions and more.

“Care at the bedside translates into success with outcomes,” stated Aaron Polanski, Autumn View’s administrator. “It’s important to be consistent while focusing on best practices, system development and team communication; together, that results in high quality patient care.”

To efficiently monitor metrics, the company utilizes StarPro data analytics software to assist in identifying potential triggers. Clinicians then utilize this information to create care plans, targeted rehabilitative programs and strategic goals to proactively treat those who indicate a potential for decline.

The McGuire Group’s facilities are also rated five stars out of five by CMS based on data that includes health inspections, staffing and quality measures.

The McGuire Group facilities provide subacute and outpatient rehabilitation, skilled nursing care, memory care, palliative care and respite/short-term care. For more information visit www. mcguiregroup.com, www.medicare. gov or www.getstarpro.com.

June 2020 | www.foreveryoungwny.com 13

LET’S TALK ABOUT...

Loving Your Political Opposite

BY JUDITH A. RUCKI

A

nyone who has survived a few Buffalo winters knows what it means to hunker down during a storm. As long as the household is safe and has provisions, it can be fun to have a little down time. Curl up by the fireplace, read a good book, make some cocoa, and, before you know it, you’re back out in the world.

But, these days, it’s a whole different world. As of this writing, we don’t know when things will return to normal, or some semblance thereof.

Needing a trip to the hair salon is one thing, but suffering financial hardship can make things tense, to say the least.

Wherever we are in the mix, living in proximity day in and day out to one or more loved ones can be trying. After a while, everything from the way she chews to the way he cracks his knuckles can be cause for a row.

Add politics to the mix, and fireworks can happen, especially if our nearest and dearest is on the opposite side of the political spectrum.

Anyone who looks at social media (and many of us are doing too much of that these days) can see that things are getting ugly. There are wildly varying 14

opinions on who to believe and trust and everything in-between.

So, what coping mechanisms can we use to keep our marriages and relationships intact?

For starters, we might remind ourselves that no matter how passionate we are about politics, it’s likely we are more passionate about our loved ones.

Adopt the mantra, “It’s just politics.”

No matter how much you might disagree, political views are no reason to ruin a loving relationship.

If you have been married or in a relationship for a good amount of time, chances are you have similar values regarding family and what you want from life. The appropriate role of government in our lives may mean something different to each of us and be cause for arguments. But, how

www.foreveryoungwny.com | June 2020

important is being “right” when it can cost you a relationship?

Discussing issues with cool heads can lead to a better understanding of the other side. Skip the yelling and hurling of insults. If we really listen to each other, we might see where the other is coming from and gain a better understanding of each other.

It’s OK to define and defend your beliefs, but remember to be patient and kind while doing so. Relationships run much more smoothly when each party respects the other’s differences.

Sometimes we need to agree to disagree. This works best when both partners feel like they’ve been heard.

Couples need to know how each other thinks and make an effort to acknowledge the other’s point of view.

If that isn’t working, there is always

marriage counseling. Or else we can turn off the TV and stay away from social media.

Still looking for ways to talk things out without going for your beloved’s jugular?

The book Couple Talk: How to Talk Your Way to a Great Relationship shows us how to become “response-able” communicators with the ability to respond appropriately and effectively while encountering everyday situations.

Authors Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman advise couples to encourage each other to keep talking. And no tuning each other out. We each need to demonstrate a willingness to listen and discuss the issue, rather than cutting each other off.

No matter how hard couples try to stay cool, arguments can happen.

Haller and Moorman suggest talking about how you and your partner argued. Figure out what was good or productive about the way you treated each other during the argument.

Disagreeing does not necessarily doom a relationship. Figure out why you think differently from each other.

Consider ignoring a party affiliation and focus on specific issues. You may find you agree on more than you realized. At the same time, it is unrealistic to expect two people to agree on everything.

When you do sit down to talk—not argue—keep a few things in mind: Stay calm and make eye contact. No raging around the room.

Yelling does not get your point across.

Ask questions. If you really listen to each other, and care what the other has to say, you should feel more connected to each other.

Now for an anecdote. A couple I knew had completely different political beliefs. He constantly offered his opinions. She rarely said anything.

When asked how they managed to not argue, she said she just let him talk.

Then she would vote for whomever she wanted and never reveal her choice.

Sometimes playing it close to the vest is the best option of all. FY Judith A. Rucki is a public relations consultant and freelance writer.

thank you

♥

MY WNY STORY now, once we get past Toronto and get into the countryside, I feel peaceful and that I am home.”

Weinholtz graduated from Buffalo State College with a degree in graphic design and worked in that field for several years before her husband John and she started a family. “I was always doing something artistic, even when raising the kids; making floral arrangements, dressmaking, and more.” Now that her three kids are grown, it’s come full circle, she says. “Drawing and painting are my artistic outlets; it’s not just a job, it’s who I am.”

Artist Deanna Weinholtz BY CHRISTINE A. SMYCZYNSKI

Local watermedia artist Deanna Weinholtz at work in her studio Photo by Christine A. Smyczynski

W

hen you’re an artist, it’s not just a job, it’s your identity. Watermedia artist Deanna Weinholtz was always drawing as a young girl. She credits one of her aunts, who is also an artist, as her inspiration. “I looked up to her and we always talked about art when she came to visit,” Weinholtz says.

Her work is informed by weekends and summers spent at Redwing Cottages, the summer resort built by her great-grandfather on Lake Chemong, located two hours north of Toronto, Ontario.

“A lot of my inspiration comes

from being outside; there was no television at the cottage until I was in high school, so we had to find our own entertainment,” says Weinholtz. As a child and teen, she spent her time at the cottage watching the Northern Lights,

lying on the beach at night looking at the stars, and sitting by the lake listening to the water lap against the rocks lining the shore.

“A lot of my water-themed paintings are inspired by this,” says Weinholtz. “When we go out there

Painting techniques Weinholtz’s art, which features seascapes and landscapes, can best be described as Representational Abstract; realistic, but not; it’s bit looser than realism. She uses optical mixing of her paints, mixing her colors in thin layers on the painting, rather than on a pallet. When working with acrylic paints, she uses them almost like watercolors, adding layer upon layer to create depth and dimension, sometimes using her fingers and rags as tools to achieve the effect.

When she paints during the day, she plays loud music and dances and sings. “I feel joy while I paint!”

In the evening, she puts on more mellow classical or Italian music and draws. “Drawing is my happy place,” says Weinholtz. Her inhome art studio was designed and built by Weinholtz and her father.

Buyers identify with the themes in her paintings, for example, sunsets over water. “Many people go to the same place for vacation every year; some will say, ‘That painting reminds me of__’”.

Art as therapy Two years ago, when she and her husband took a trip to Italy to celebrate their thirtieth anniversary, Weinholtz was injured while touring Pompeii. She fell three feet off an elevated area, fracturing her spine and breaking both her wrists, an injury that would be bad for anyone, but devastating for an artist.

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www.foreveryoungwny.com | June 2020

MY WNY STORY Teaching art “I never saw myself as a teacher,” says Weinholtz. But, when she was invited to give a demonstration to the Niagara Frontier Watercolor Society, she agreed to do it. “I was terrified to speak in front of people and was nervous at first about painting in front of my peers for two hours. However, once I got started, I relaxed and thoroughly enjoyed it.” During intermission, people came up to her and asked if she taught classes. “I heard myself saying, ‘Why, yes, yes I do!’”

Weinholtz normally teaches classes at the River Art Gallery and Gift Shop (www.riverartgalleryandgifts. com) in North Tonawanda, where she is a resident artist, as well as at Hyatt’s on Elmwood Avenue in Buffalo. (www.hyatts.com). This spring, due to the pandemic, she was unable to continue in-person classes for current students, so she experimented with teaching online classes on Zoom.

Her work was included as part of 20/20 Vision: Women Artists in Western New York at the Castellani Art Museum, (www. castellaniartmuseum.org) on the campus of Niagara University and she was selected to be an exhibitor in the 100 American Craftsmen 50th Golden Anniversary Show at the Kenan Center, Lockport, which was canceled due to the coronavirus pandemic, but has artist work available online at www.100americancraftsmen.com.

Weinholtz also submits her artwork to local, regional, and national art shows and has won several local and national awards.

To find out more about Deanna Weinholtz and to see examples of her artwork, visit her website www. deannaweinholtz.com. FY Christine Smyczynski is the author of Explorers Guide Buffalo Niagara Falls and Backroads & Byways of Upstate New York.

The BEST Care is Delivered by

McGUIRE MISSION MAKERS! “The best part of my job is knowing that I make a difference in the residents’ lives; they know they can depend on me.”

- Amy Lovelace

Weinholtz with her work Purple Mist at NU's Castellani Photo courtesy Deanna Weinoltz

Weinholtz spent almost a year recovering while working with an occupational therapist and then a personal trainer. While she was first recuperating from wrist surgery and had casts on, she spent her time playing DVDs of her favorite artists at work and studied color theory and design. Once the casts came off, she had to wear splints, which she took off only for therapy and drawing. However, her wrists were still fractured, and drawing was painful. Her therapist encouraged her to paint, rather than draw, but Weinholtz insisted on drawing because it calmed and centered her.

As she healed, her therapist continued to encourage her to paint

with large brush strokes to help regain movement in her wrists and fingers. She finally decided to try painting with watercolors. Her first painting was In Un Prossimo Futuro this means “in the near future” in Italian. It was based on the last photo she took in Italy before she fell. This painting won “People’s Choice Award” in the Buffalo Society of Artists Member’s Exhibition.

“While the fall was bad, it actually was the best thing to happen to me, because it caused me to reevaluate my life. I met amazing therapists who helped me; friends and family stepped in; and I was able to get back to the basics with my art and strengthen my art skills.”

5-STAR REHAB & NURSING CARE

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Autumn View • Hamburg Garden Gate • Cheektowaga Harris Hill • Williamsville Northgate • N. Tonawanda Seneca • West Seneca

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BEING WELL

How to Stay Healthy While Social Distancing COURTESY OF STATEPOINT

C

OVID-19 has the public rethinking how they stay healthy—both physically and mentally. Even those in good health can start to feel anxious and fearful when the words “pandemic” and “social distancing” are mentioned.

Can you stay active and mentally healthy while social distancing? The answer is a resounding yes.

While routines have changed, it’s critical that people keep exercising and eating nutritious meals, since the body is better able to fight off illnesses when it’s healthy and strong. Taking these steps helps reduce stress, which most people are experiencing right now in one way or another.

Here is some advice from Cigna chief nursing officer Mary Picerno to help stay healthy, both physically and mentally, during this time.

• Get outside. While it’s important to limit physical interactions with others, getting outside for a run, walk or bicycle ride is a great way to boost endorphins and enjoy fresh air. Just make sure to maintain six feet between yourself and others. If weather or other reasons limit your ability to go outside, many companies and gyms are offering free online exercise classes right now.

Endorphins have been found to reduce stress, increase feelings of happiness, and help fight against depression.

• Get proper nutrition. Add fruits and vegetables to your plate for colorful, nutrient-rich meals. Vegetables also are a good source of fiber. Eating well will help you feel better and give you energy to keep moving. Now is a great time to try that new recipe or food subscription box!

• Stay hydrated. Drinking plenty of water can help prevent dehydration.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, dehydration can cause unclear thinking and mood swings. Not sure how much to drink?

Many medical professionals suggest following the 8x8 rule, eight ounces of water eight times a day.

• Stay connected. Just because you can’t be with friends and family in person doesn’t mean you can’t stay in touch. Set up time to connect with video chats, phone calls, and emails.

Staying connected doesn’t have to be high-tech. Have kids or just a kid at heart? Write encouraging messages in chalk on your driveway or hang signs in your windows for your neighbors, postal carrier, and delivery workers.

Eat well, stay hydrated, and move your body.

Photo ©Kerkez/iStock via Getty Images Plus

• Know your options. One of the best ways to prepare is knowing what to do if you start to show symptoms.

Cigna and many other health insurers are now waiving the costs of doctor visits related to a COVID-19 diagnosis as well as the cost of COVID-19 FDAapproved testing. To minimize your

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www.foreveryoungwny.com | June 2020

exposure, call or email your doctor or a local health system about a telehealth visit to be screened for COVID-19.

The provider will then identify what steps you should take next.

• Get support. Talking through concerns and fears can help put them in perspective and make you feel calmer. You may want to reach out for professional support if you’re struggling. Cigna offers many resources and tools, including a 24-hour tollfree help line (1-855-287-8400) to speak with qualified behavior health clinicians, view a webinar focused on managing anxiety, fears and concerns, and listen to mindfulness podcasts (available in English and Spanish) focused on improving resiliency and stress management.

During this challenging time, taking care of your health is your first priority. FY

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YOUR PAGE Forever Young readers: we want to hear from you! Do you know someone who deserves to be recognized? Tell us more.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Drop us a line.

We want to devote space in Forever Young to what matters most: you. Send your story ideas to editor Wendy Guild Swearingen at wswearingen@ foreveryoung.com or 1738 Elmwood Ave., Suite 103, Buffalo, NY 14207.

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FEEL GOOD RADIO The past few months have been different, but there’s an escape on your radio at WECK. You’ve made us the #1 Oldies station not only in Buffalo, but in all of America.

There’s a reason for that: you want to feel good, remember, and listen to the soundtrack of some great times! We are right there living the old days with you, having fun, and staying away from politics and bad news.

Join Tom Donahue for the More Music Morning show 6–10 am, Roger Christian 10 am–3 pm, and Mr. Fun, Bobby O. 3–7 pm on weekdays, along with Dick Bartley’s ‘60s celebration Saturdays 6–9 pm and Dick Clark’s Rock, Roll & Remember Sundays 6 to 10 pm.

Listen at 100.1 FM—perfect if you live in Clarence, Amherst, Lancaster, Alden, East Amherst, or Williamsville, and at weckbuffalo. com, free mobile app, and any voice-activated device.

With so much going in the world, tune into WECK to feel good again.

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www.foreveryoungwny.com | June 2020

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NOTEWORTHY

Osprey photo courtesy of Tifft Nature Preserve

Chautauqua Institution Online This venerable cultural organization has postponed live events this summer, but it’s offering a ton of great content on its Facebook page, including lectures, music, performances, and even workouts!

www.facebook.com/chq1874

The Himalayan Institute Buffalo All classes, including yoga, meditation, lectures, and seminars are now available online via Zoom. Please check the website at www.hibuffalo.org for more information. Homeopathic remedies may be picked up by appointment, call 883-2223 to arrange.

Buffalo Philharmonic Orchestra/WNED The BPO is partnering with WNED Classical, Buffalo Toronto Public Media’s Classical music station, to broadcast free archived live recordings of BPO concerts. To access the broadcast, tune in to 94.5 FM, stream via wned.org/classical, or listen to WNED Classical via smart speaker. June 5, Prokofiev’s Fifth; June 9, Grieg Piano Concerto; June 16, The Mermaid.

Tifft Nature Preserve Most trails are currently open, but the restrooms, boardwalks, and parking lots are closed. Online, check out the Osprey Cam at tifft.org/osprey and see two adult Osprey take care of their three fledglings!

1200 Fuhrmann Blvd., Buffalo

I Love NY Check out the I Love NY website for links to a collection of New York State’s best online events, virtual tours, and livecams, including Buffalo’s own Albright-Knox Art Gallery, Burchfield Center Art Center, Explore & More Children’s Museum, Buffalo Zoo, and the Buffalo & Erie County Botanical Gardens.

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June 2020 | www.foreveryoungwny.com 21

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