Vagabond Editorials

Bv Jack Dionne

1937, they say, will be a salesman's year.

:ff:F

Which brings up the best salesman story. In Pasadena, California, a high bridge crosses the Arroyo close to the famous Rose Bowl of football fame. There is a 200 foot drop from that bridge center to the rocks below. And sq many people have used that drop as a manner and means of suddenly and deliberately shuffling off this mortal coil that they call it "Suicide Bridge."

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One day a man driving across the bridge saw another man starting to climb over the outer rail of the bridge. He slammed on his brakes, jumped from his car, and got to the would-be jumper just in time to grab his leg. Then a violent argument ensued, one man claiming his right as well as determination to get out of a world that had grdwn intolerable, and the othor trying to convince him that he was wrong to suicide. ***

"It's my life, and I'm tired of it, and I'm going to end it," said the despondent man. "Life isn't worth living, and this world is a good place to get out of." "You're wrong,t' said the other, and then made him a proposition. "Come with me and let me talk to you for just fifteen minutes, and if I cannot convince you that you are wrong to suicide, I'll withdraw my objections and you can go ahead. What do you say?" The would-be suicide agreed that the proposition was fair, and climbed down off the concrete rail. Arm in arm and in deep conversation the two men walked off the bridge.

**:F

In about fifteen minutes they came back, walked to the place where they had first met, AND BOTH OF THEM JUMPED OVER ! :k**

The trouble was the wrong man was the best salesman. +**

This is the way a big sign reads alongside a highway in West Texas: "This is God's country; quit driving like hell."

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A man is drunk, says the modern definition, when he feels sophisticated, but can't spell it. ***

The suicide left a note behind, saying he was taking ofr because he had discovered he had no more chance in this world than a bow-legged girl in her own home town. ***

"The ladder of life is fult of splinters," says Uncle Eph' "but they don't hurt you none when you're climbing up."

The employee who *orL" n..U ."U earnestly at his job, and gives his boss the best he has in him, has nothing to worry about. Then, some day, he may become the boss and work sixteen hours a day and have everything to worry about.

It is worthy of note ,n", an" ,rlora ,rr""".sful magazine of recent times published and edited exclusively for parents, was founded and edited by a bachelor. llowever, he saw the light and married later. Sold himself the idea, I guess. ***

Honey, according to reliable information, is the one useful product that has never been over-supplied. While the vinegar supply is generally in surplus. fs there a moral there?

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"Any old beer bottles for sale, lady?" asked the secondhand man of the sour-faced wornan at the kitchen door. "I don't drink beer," she sirapped at him. "Well then, any vinegar bottles?" he wanted to know. *** td<* t**

There are over two and one-half million automobiles in the country today equipped with radios. There's an idea that really grew. And the number of cars sold with radio equipment grows constantlY.

Just to give you a rough idea of what some people think about advertising, the Lydia E. Pinkham Conrpany has been spending 86 per cent of its GROSS income for advertising. I'm satisfied some of my lumber friends will think that's over-doing the thing a wee bit.

Lots of mathematicians debate whether our bank deposits have been rising or dropping. At the close o'f 1932 the total deposits in the national banks of this country were thirtyeight billions of dollars. In the middle of 1936 the total passed fifty billidns. One school of pencil pushers says this is a large percentage increase. Another school calls attention to the fact that the 1936 dollar is only 59/o of the value of the 1932 dollar, so we have in fact suffered a loss, if gold value is still a basis of measuring worth. I really can't say, myself. If I can get some of them, I'm going to be content to count's6-n9f weigh'em. 't** rt**

And there is another school of thought which says that prosperity has undoubtedly returned, because the discarded cigar butts in the gutters are an inch longer than they were two years back.

Someone wants to know if there is any law to prevent the Chinese barber in San Francisco's Chinatown from putting up a sign over the door, "The China Clipper"?

There may be some doubt as to the United States still being "the land of the free," but it is mighty certairi that Mr. John Citizen of "the home of the brave" is going to need all his bravery when he faces his tax bill from now on. According to the Dallas News, poor John Citizen is going to have to pay 102 Federal Taxes in l93Z on ..just about everything he sees, feels, hears, or tastes." They could have added "wears, uses, or possesses."

A tax giant of staggering proportions moved into all our homes, Iives, and businesses on January first when the Social Security law became efiective. And he came to stay. He will be a permanent boarder. He may be changed a lot, but he will never be gotten rid of. Regardless of what the employee or the employer thinks about it, from now on the social security taxes will have to be paid in ever-increasing volume. It will in time become a pot,.the like of which was never dreamed of before in this world. In a few years every worker will be having three dollars deducted from every hundred he earns, and the employer will be matching that amount, and sending it all to Washington. Six dollars a hundred out of all wages and salaries. ***

A generation hence, so say the Social Security pencil pushers, that pot will reach a size of sixty or seventy BILLIONS OF DOLLARS. Who's going to take care of that much money? And who's going on his bond? And what could the bondsman do if he skipped? And how would you like to see Tammany handling that pot?

S. F. LUMBERMAN MOVES INTO NEW HOME

Mr. and Mrs. Arthur B. Griswold moved into their new home at 99 Santa Rita Avenue in the Forest Hill district of San Francisco shortly before Christmas.

The exterior is of brick veneer, and all the lumber that went into the construction of this beautiful home was kiln dried and came from the plant of C. D. Johnson Lumber Corporation, Toledo, Ore., for which Mr. Griswold is Northern California representative.

All lumber from the first floor down was pressure treated with creosote.