Cutting the "Bunk" From Your Business Correspondence

It is high time to begin cutting the useless and aimless "bunk" out of business eorrespondence. It is really pitiful the line of stuff that creeps into the business correspondence of the average firm, things' that mean nothing, that are not sincere, that just "gum up" ,the letter with useless words. "'Thompson'S colt" was the legendary animal that had so little sense he swam across a river.to get a drink. There are a world of Thompson's Colt's in the business offices of this indutsry.

Mr. W. P. Southard, of the J. P. Burton CoaI Company, Cleveland, Ohio, recently wrote a letter on this subject to all the members of his organization who handle correspondence, which every business man should read and digest, in which he said:

" Sincerity is the keynote of success in letter writing. I notice a great many of our letters going out of the office earry some of the old. insincere phrases that so much general correspondence is afflictecl with. I-iet's set the example in this office, and omit from our letters mueh of the sterotyped bunk that through the years has become a habit and appears in so many of the ordinary business letters. Our letters can be simple and dignified without them.

"Think a minute! When you are writing a letter, you are talking to the party addressed, aren't you, Do you say'wtren you speak to a man, "'We duly received your esteemed. favor of the 2nd ult., and in reply beg to advice that we duly transmittecl the contents thereof, etc.nl" No ! I hope you don't ! You do say: "Mr. Jones, we shipped that car you ordered on the 29th of last month. I-.,et me know if you don't get it promp.tly," or something of that sort. Now let's analyze some of this bunk we read in letters we get, and, heaven help us, send out of this office every duy."

Mr. Southard then proceeds Io analyze this "bunk" as he calls it, and finds eighteen high spots upon which to focus his attention.

No. 1-"We wish to acknowled[e."

When a man's wishbone is where his backbone ought to be, he usually ends up at the bottom of the heap. We don't "wish" in this office to do anything-we either do it or we don't; that's one thing we can stop. Let's do it.

No. 2-"1[e are in receipt of your letter."

Of course we received his letter or we wouldn't be answering it. Why is it neeessary to take your time and the stenographer's time to tell a man something he alread.y knows, or must know, because you are, replying to him? Let's cut that out and get to the point.

No. 3-'"We sincerely tru$t."

Ilow many times when we say that do we really mean it? About the only time I know when we sincerely trust a man.is when we sell him coal on op.en account. This is the most sincere evid.ence of trust that I know. If we don't mean that let's not say it.

l{o. 4-"Your kind letter."

This is a business office. We don't expect kinclness or charity. We do expect courtesy. If we want to tell a man his letter is courteous, let's say so, and if we appreeiate his courtesy, it is very easy ro express that appreciation by telling him that we appreciatn the courteous manner in which he is cooperating with us, or something of that sort.

No. 5--"We would appreciate receiving a rep,ly."

That's an old time phrase that has come down all through the centuries. It doesir't mean anything, particularly, ancl if we want to be courteous, we can be so in a much more direct manner than following some of these old, hackneyed phrases.

No. 6-"\Me arJo.owledge receipt."

This is the same class as item No. 2, only worse. Unlcss we want to be strictly formal, we do not have to acknowledgo anything. This phrase is good in its proper place, but it is so badly misused ordinarily that we will have to watch ourselves when we use it.

No. 7-"Beg to advise."

This is one of the worst ones. Why ilo we beg anytlring? Great heavens, if we have to beg, let's get out on the corner and sell lead pencils, and as to "advise," I think everybody knows that advice is the cheapest commodity in the world, for everybocly likes to give it and nobody. likes to receive it, so why t'advise".a man anything? If you want to suggest something, do it, but let's NEVER, put this one in any of our letters.

No. 8-"Your estoemed favor."

That's all "bunk." A man's letter is seldom an esteemed favor. He may favor us sometime by writing us a letter and giving us an ord.er in preference to somebod.y else, but why the "esteemed?" I don't like it and I don't think any other red-blooded man does. That's anotirer une that ean be happily omitted.

No. 9-"Contents dlrl;r noted'"

Now just set that phrase up and. look at it. 'Would you say that to a man if you were, talking to him? You know you wouldn't. WeIl, thbn, don't say it in a letter,.

No. l0--"Instant and Ultimo."

These old l-ratin derivatives, originally brought intb our correspondence by the old eleries four or five hundred years ago, were meant to impress upon the recipient the superior education of the writer. lMe don't need. to do that any more. When a man tries to impress another man with his superior education, he is only laying up trouble and. ill-will for himself, and we don't want either of those commodities in our business.

No. ll-"lihis is to infom,."

That starts out like a sentence to six months in jail, and every old legal.writ or warrant used similar phrases in order to impress the ctignified import of their contents upon the read.er. It isn't necessary and I don't think we would miss that phrase if we left it out hereafter. f don't think either of these needs any comment, as they are so ridiculously superfluous and meaningless that if anyone is thinking at alllvhen he writes a letter, he won't use them. fn these days when anybody uses the words "hand you," they mean they are going to hand you something, and giving that the slang significance that it deserves, you know rvhat TIIAT means? If we want to tell our custorners we are going to hand them something, they'll know what to expect and they will naturally shy off, so let's cut that one out too.

No. l2-"Attarhed hereto," "Inclosed herewith."

It can't be attached if it isn't "heteto," and. it can't be 'enclosed if it isn't "herewith." You can't make an enclosure in another envelope, so you are just saying something that is entirely superfluous.

No. 13-"1f,te would state," "We would sug:gest."

Why the use of the "would?" That's going round Robin Hood.'s barn to make a direct statement. Let's make our statements direct, courteous always, but never in a roundabout way.

No. 14-"Sa,me."

That's an adjective. ft cannot be correctly used. as a substitute for ttthisrt' tttheser" ttthose,t' "itr" tttheyrt' or "them." Itts rotten bad form, anyway, so if we want to make reference to any particular thing, let's call it by name and not hide behind the shadow of that "same."

No. 15-"To hand," "At ha,nd."

No.16-"Iland you."

No. 17-"Per yortr request."

"As requested" sounds a lot better. I rvould like to see the latter phrase used in substitution, every time.

No. 18-"Trrrsting," "Hoping," "Tba,nking," etc.

Anyone of these words when merged with "Yours truly," or any other ending of that sort, weakens the last paragraph of your letter. It cant help but do so. It's an anticlimax, and the last paragraph of your letter ought to carry punch. Make the climax, and then do not weaken it by sloughing ofr at the end.

Ibese eighte€n rules are designed to keep insincerity out of the business letter.

COBNELL WIR,ED FOR, FR,ONT COVER, SPACE

It sure makes a fellow feel keen in a new proposition like THE CALIFORNIA LUMBER, MERCHANT when old friends show an interest.

The last issue of The Gulf Coast l-,umbermarl contained an announcement of the new California paper.

Ilere came a paid wire from The CorneII Wood Products Co., of Chicago, makers of Cornell fibre board, asking if they could buy the outsicle front cover. Nothing less.

'We wired that they could.

They DID.

Irook at the front cover and see if they didn't.