Funn Facts and Filosophy

Different

Bounder-"What do you tell yo,ur wife when you've been out late? Everything?"

Rounder-"NO-anythin g."

Watch Yourself Go By

Just stand aside, and watch yourself go by: Think of yourself as "he" instead of "I." Note clearly, as the other men you note, The bag-kneed trousers, and the seedy coat. Pick flaws, find fault, forget the man is you And try to make your estimate ring true.

Despise your cowardice; condemn what'er You note of falseness in you, anywhere. Defend not one defect thatt shames your eyeJust stand aside, and watch yourself go by.

And then, with eyes unveiled to what you loatheTo sins that with sweet charity you'd clotheBack to your self-walled tenement you go With tolerance for those who dwell below. The faults of others will dwarf and shrink; Love's chain grow stronger by one mighty linkWhen you, with "he" as substitute for "I," Have stood aside, and watched yourself go by.

(Strickland W. Gillilan.)

IT PAYS TO ADVERTISE_IF_

A lion met a tiger

As they drank ,beside the pool, Said the tiger to the lion, "You're roaring like a fool."

"That's not foolish" said the lion, With a twinkle in his eyes, "They call me king of all the beasts Because I advertise."

A rabbit hear,d them talking, And ran home like a streak, He thought he'd try the lion's plan, But his roar was a squeak.

A fox came to investigate, Had luncheon in the woods, So when you advertise, my friend,' Be sure you've got the goods.

Will Power

After having shot his enemy:full of holes, with his trusty forty-five, the toughest citizen of Mud-in-your-eye immediately gave himself up to the authorities.

"'What made you shoot this man ?" asked the sheriff.

"Self control," was the reply," If it hadn't ,been for that I'd broke his neck and chewed both ears off.

Peddling And Selling

The parrot talks when you leave his cage uncove.red. He .cannot reason, hence he talks out of turn.

To be a successful salesman it is more necessarv to reason than to talk.

The parrot is a peddler.

When you want to se'll, put yourself in your customer's place, and then decide how you could be induced to'buy the thing yourself. Then use THAT method.

'EAVENS'ARRY

I'm goin' to 'ave a little'ome That's mine from end to end, Where I can smoke an'lounge about, An' entertain a friend.

I'm goin' to 'ave a garden too An' plant a shady tree, An' live so that a landlord Will 'ave no'old on me.

Originality

The two colored gents were brought into court, one of them, desperately mauled and beaten. Looking over the injured nigger, the judge turnbd to the other, whom he knew, and said: "M,ose, the Devil himself must have been in you to make you hurt that poor nigger that way."

Mose looked his victi'm over with the eye of an artist. "Jedge," said he, "th Debble may have tol me to bust his nose and black bofe eyes. but chewin his ear off-at was mah own idea."

R. 0. lYilson Lumhr Company

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