Reverse English

Forceward-Aldo I was not claim to know de whol English gramaire, me, still I tink I got licens for pass few remark on wat I call de "Revers Hinglish." It seems to me, my frens, dat de Yankee, wen he talk, was alwavs put de engine en front de caboose. En course, I understan she's pretty dam hard for mak change en her, after all dese good many year dat they use heem, same as it has, but still, dere's room for improve some of de bis-ness.

Eef you talk an' talk an' don't say notting at all 'cept de difference of de opposite vl'at you mean, why, lvat's de use, hey ! Dat's wat I call "thot for food."-J. LaRue.

Wen I was come on State firs'tam, Dat's many year wats gone, I fine she's hard for spik Eng-lish, Lak Yankee gentilhomme. I try ldk hal for get her right, But she lak to broke my heart, Cause you Yankee always go an' put, De horse before de cart.

Tak fifteen year for me to learn Dat horse dat got four leg, Was not de same hoarse as you got, Wen have colt on de head.

Al-so, wen you h€ar "noise," I ask, Ain't she a Puget "sound ?"

Jus' lak "feel good" you say she's "well," All same "a hole en ground."

Anodder ting was bodder long

Was "flower" wat grow en fiel' She's not de same as buckwheat cake, Dat's made from Injun meal.

An', sacre bleu you know she's queer Dat "tie" on steam rail-way, Was lots of diff-rent from "tie" you wear, Wen pass on holiday.

But of all de ting dat mix me up 'Was wen I come to town, An fren' of mine wat's Jim LaPlante Was tak an' show me roun'. :We see mo\r-ee; play leetle pool; Smoke fine ten-cent cigar.

An' den for have wat's call a "smile." We go on Highland Bar.

An'Jim LaPlante, he says to me, "Come Joe, I buy you drink,"

"Tank you, my fren'," I answer back, "Dat's pretty good, I tink."

He tak hees glass an' hol' her up, An' spik, "Here's look at you," But he drink de whol bis-ness hisself, Jeem cris; dat's queer to do.

An'de whiskee's name was Green Rivaire, Rivaire, she's water, too; De ginger ale Jim say was "dry," Bedamme ! I can't see tru. Den I axe heem rvill he have encore, "Spik up, call out her name."

He say, "To hal wit have encore, Let's have sam'e thing again."

But fifteen year was pass since den, 'Wen firs' I come on State, An' she's easy now for mak de talk, Since I was educate. I use beeg word lak orator. As matter of de course, An' me, I'm ahvays careful to Put buggy'fore de n?*.;

So Canayen wat come on State, (You'll fine her hard, eet's true) Jus' write your fren', wat's "Speech Expert," Dat's me, Wat's Joe LaRue.

JL Bulletin.

He Dropped His Uatch

By Ranger Bill, U. S. Forcst Setvicc

"He dropped his match when he lit his cigaq And it fell in a bunch of grass, And he went on to shoot his ba'ar In the distant mountain pass.

And the wind it riz, and the fire it spread, Till it went all over the patch; And the melted pants buttons they found was his,The fellow that dropped the match."

Undue Credit

Salesman-No, you can't fool me. Do you think I'ye freen riding in sleepers all my life for nothing? :

Ticket Agent-I shouldn't be surprised-Jack o' [-ahtern.