Corona Chronicles • Volume #3 • 16th April 2020
Freekely
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PHOTO BY: @THATMCROBBIEGUY TAROTSCOPES
Look, listen and make. PG 2
A cosmic hint to be conscious.
TRICKY TRIVIA
your captures TaggeTdOWN Compiling since 2014. 5 #b yr on ba za
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TIDE WIND WAVES
THURSDAY
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Preparations for the next family ISO quiz.
DEAR KEENWA
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WELL READ
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EAR CANDY
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COMMUNITY NOTICES
Fondling from a distance.
SURF Forecast
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American Gods Neil Gaiman.
Treading Water Chris Kläfford.
1,000 Notes of Friendship.
SUNDAY 2-3ft SSE 8 SE 6:11AM
REPORT BASED ON BYRON MAIN BEACH | For live surf cams log onto coastalwatch.com
2+ft SE 13 SSE 12:30PM
LIKE YOU, I’M SPENDING TOO
much time on the couch, so the search for home bound entertainment continues. With lake fishing out, I’ve been casting for pods, and this week I managed to reel in a few that were keepers. For a musical podcast, try Alice Cooper’s Vintage Vault. In the latest episode Alice replays an interview with Ozzy Osbourne – which is like listening to a pending car crash, whilst drinking the finest champagne – anything could happen! Rolling Stone Music Now is another pod that looks behind the music - Taylor Swift, Stevie Nicks and Adam Schlesinger are recent subjects. For another take on the daily news – on No Such Thing as a Fish the panel discuss a few real and some random rubbish facts each week; and The Betoota Advocate provides an interesting local’s view of the headlines. Have a house party for two to arrange? Turn up the volume for 80 minutes of free music each fortnight on BRYHNH; and then chillout watching DiveFilm HD as you swim with fish.
high heat, without stirring, until sugar begins to melt and turn golden, about 3 minutes. Continue to cook, stirring occasionally, until sugar has melted and mixture turns golden amber, about 10 minutes. Remove pan from heat. Stir in peanuts, butter and baking soda. Immediately pour peanut mixture onto buttered baking sheet. Quickly spread mixture to 2mm thick using an oiled metal spatula. Refrigerate for 30 min. Break brittle into pieces. Brittle can be stored in an airtight container for up to 2 weeks.
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STOLEN TRAILER & HUSTLER MOWER
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PHOTO BY: CALUM LEWIS
Ever tried audiobooks? I started a trial of Apple’s free service. My first few downloads highlighted that you have to be careful here – look for both a good book and a good narrator. Two that ticked those boxes - The Time Machine by H.G.Wells, narrated by Kelsey Grammer; and for the kid in all of us, L.Frank Baum’s The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, narrated by Tituss Burgess. Have you tried the spiced walnuts from last week? This week I’m staying with the nut theme. Martha Stewart’s Peanut Brittle. Martha, of course, is America’s favourite cook, first female billionaire and most famous female felon. She was able to reproduce this tasty dish whilst serving time in Federal Prison Camp in Alderson, so it should be a cinch. Peanuts make a classic brittle, but you can substitute cashews or almonds for additional health benefits – just leave out the nail file. Ingredients: 2 Tablespoons unsalted butter, plus softened butter for baking sheet; 2 cups sugar; Pinch of salt; 1 teaspoon baking soda, 1½ cups salted peanuts. Directions: Butter a rimmed baking sheet; set aside. Stir together sugar, 1/2 cup water, and the salt in a medium saucepan. Cook over
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LOCALS DON’T JUST LIKE THE BYRON BAZAAR - THEY LOVE IT – AND VISITORS LOOK FOR IT. ABOUT US: Serving the community since 2014 ADVERTISING RATES: Call / SMS 0487 003 765, email hello@byronbazaar.com or go online at byronbazaar.com BUSINESS ADVERT DEADLINES: Noon Mondays CLASSIFIED AND JOB DEADLINES: Midnight Mondays INSERTS/PROGRAM DELIVERY: Enquiries welcome NORMAL SERVICE DISTRIBUTED TO: Byron Bay, Arts & Ind. Estate, Suffolk Park, Bangalow, Mullumbimby, Brunswick Heads, Ocean Shores and online. Found at local businesses, retailers, supermarkets, petrol stations, cafes/bars/ restaurants, visitor accommodation, visitor centres. DELIVERED: Every Thursday DISCLAIMER: Byron is a multicultural community, with a diversity of thoughts and views.Those expressed in the Byron Bazaar by contributors and advertisers are not necessarily shared by the publisher who cannot be held responsible for them.
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WHENEVER WE RUN Q&A’S IN THE BAZAAR WE ALWAYS ASK
our interviewees “If you could change one thing about Byron, what would it be?” The three most popular responses have been – “Nothing, I love it just the way it is”; “Less tourists” (that might change soon!); and “Fix the f%#king potholes!”. We’ve stopped printing these responses – it has become too boring. And yet, there I was at Easter lunch, enjoying my wife’s lovely pot roast chicken dinner, and without any prompting I jumped up and made a toast, “Now is the time to fix those f%#king potholes!” It may not have been the most religious of toasts, but think about it - we have no tourists, the roads are empty, council workers are looking for work, and State and Federal governments are throwing money at anything that moves. What better time to fix this irritation, properly, like the Romans would? In six months, when we’re getting back to some sort of post-CV normality, imagine taking a drive without swearing, swerving, bottoming out and blowing up. Some of the “character” of Byron may be sacrificed, but surely there’s plenty of other quirks we could promote. Speaking of sacrifices, to get into the Easter spirit I decided to make some myself. With the cancellations of Bluesfest, travel and boozy lunches with family and friends, I decided to keep the self-flagellation going by uninstalling Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and Twitter. I’m not sure how long I will last, but if I’m going to do isolation, let’s do it full throttle I say! To be fair, I don’t actually do Twitter and Insta, but I could, so I’m counting them as sacrifices too. There are some upsides to this isolation thing. My beautiful wife (cover your ears darling) seems to be finding me more attractive as the lockup goes on. Desperation perhaps, feelings of mortality maybe, but there is a definite twinkle in her eyes. I caught her winking at me the other day. True, it was glary outside, but I am enjoying the fantasy, and I wondered if others were experiencing this too, so I thought I’d FB them. (You can see why it’s just as well I’m off-line). It might be that she is finding the new rebellious me attractive. In an act of defiance I have taken to just walking ‘round the block for no particular reason. I drive to Woolies at least once a day, challenging the cameras to pick me out for over shopping. And I now clear my PO box every day, even though I only get one piece of mail a month – the Telstra bill. Where would I be without Telstra? They have become a real business partner since the CV broke out, sending me lots of useful txts. “Be safe; stay home; wash your hands; cover your face; keep 1.5 mtrs away; don’t go to your holiday house; don’t forget to pay your bill”. I hope your mobile providers are this thoughtful, I pray that you have found adequate supplies of toilet paper, and I send you all the good BB vibes I can muster. Stay safe – stay home – stay chilled. Tony Byron Bazaar
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Tarotscopes WEEKLY TAROT FORECAST
ASTROLOGICALLY WE ARE STILL IN THE hot-
zone of the Jupiter/Pluto union which lasts until the end of November. Simply put Jupiter’s energy is big and Pluto’s is deep. This could be an especially upsetting and difficult time for people who have planets in mid to late Capricorn, Cancer, Aries and Libra. Right now and until the weekend the Sun forms a challenging square to Jupiter and Pluto. It is very difficult to see the end of the tunnel and what reality will look like once we get there. All sorts of experts come up with theories, statistics and projections that trigger us into fear and compulsive behaviour. As antidote visualise Jupiter’s enlightenment shining a bright light into the deepest underworld of your psyche. Its purpose is transformation, letting go and rebirth. Also during the weekend Mercury, the planet that rules the intellect and communication, is in amicable sextile to Mars in Aquarius and Venus in Gemini. This is a cosmic hint to be conscious, mindful and benevolent in our interactions, and focus on resolving issues rather than creating new ones. On Monday the Sun moves into steady, determined and productive Taurus and instantly forms a tension-loaded square to Saturn in Aquarius. It focuses on limitations, the stuff we don’t have or the things we are not allowed to do. Taurus and Aquarius don’t have much in common other than a certain rigidity and inflexibility, but because they are fixated on different parts of the issue, huge inner and outer conflicts might arise and the astro weather stays stormy. For the bigger picture read your Sun, Moon and Rising signs. A Tarot card is drawn for each astrological sign.
Astrology and Tarot Forecast consultations by Gisela FOR AN APPOINTMENT: giselasunshine@gmail.com.au or text 0431 894 408
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g ARIES
The Prince of Disks symbolises a very steady, stable and down-to-earth approach to your daily life, which helps to take care of all the little things that are important. If you get agitated, resistant or frustrated with the slowness of everything, have a big physical workout to let off steam.
h TAURUS
The Priestess Tarot card appears as an incentive to see the silver-lining in your personal situation and also on a global level. Lucky you if you have time and space to slow down, meditate and feel the depth of your connection to nature! If you are extremely busy you may need to make time for inward replenishment as well…
i GEMINI
With Lady Venus in your sign for many months to come and the 6 of Disks drawn you feel worthy and successful if you can be of service. Lending an ear to listen, a hand to help or uplifting others in conversation, does much good for everyone involved. Just make sure that you only offer advice if it is really asked for.
j CANCER
The 4 of Swords symbolises inner or outer conflict that needs to come to a resolution. First of all you have to find a way to make peace in your own mind. This may come more from introspection than from social media, so why not give the mental overload a miss for a few days and just turn your gadgets off?
BY GISELA
k LEO
It is always good news when the 4 of Wands appears. You may see opportunities where others see trouble, or you might find that what were prescribed as restrictions, actually give you more personal freedom to follow your creative inspiration. Maybe you surprise yourself and a new part of yourself is born.
c SAGITTARIUS
The 5 of Cups paints a picture of a disappointed and empty heart. If people near you have been upsetting you big time lately, visualise your heart expanding and the heartbreak as growing pain. Let as much love and light flow into your wound, so it can heal naturally and beautifully.
d CAPRICORN
l VIRGO
The 9 of Cups is the quintessential wish card in the deck. Once you quieten your busy monkey-mind down, what is it that you really long for? Hold this in your heart and explore how marvellous it feels. Keep that feeling and nurture it often…
The theme of the Star Tarot card is self-appreciation. In a Capricornian world view this is applied conditionally, depending on how well you have been performing and if you have reached your latest goals. What would happen if you relax the standards a bit for now and treat yourself as the star of your universe?
a LIBRA
e AQUARIUS
The 5 of Disks appears when you have lost your equilibrium and worry has taken over. No matter how big your reasons are to feel so burdened, it might help you to take time and smell the roses somewhere close by. Find and appreciate the beauty and patience that nature offers you.
b SCORPIO
The Magician Tarot card comes as a reminder that you have the power and focus to skilfully create what you want. You are a master of resourcefulness and this would not be the first time in your live that you can flourish in the face of adversity. Your can-do attitude is refreshing for others too.
The Devil Tarot card appears when the time is ripe to deal with your own shadow, which means recognising and transforming all the parts of your personality that you deem dysfunctional, addictive or plainly crazy. Only if you know what enslaves you, can you make it your mission to set yourself free.
f PISCES
The 4 of Disks is all about setting clear boundaries, and being in charge and empowered. You might find it difficult to be assertive because you don’t want to upset anyone. Nevertheless you may have to stand up, set limits and teach others how you want to be treated and respected, even at the expense of ruffling a few feathers…
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YIN YOGA TEACHER TRAINING Join international yoga teacher Mel Mclaughlin for her signature 50 hour Yin Yoga Teacher Training at BodyMindLife Byron Bay. Bookings at bodymindlife.com/whats-on BODYMINDLIFE BYRON BAY | 6 - 10 MAY 2020
Tricky Trivia Answers - Questions on page 7 1. A, MOSS. 2. A, THE CALORIE. 3. TRUE. 4. B, 16TH.
5. FALSE, WHITE WILLOW TREE. 6. C, BIT. 7. C, A.
8. B, MYSPACE. 9. A, THE BEACH. 10. C, AMSTERDAM.
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a i v i r y T k c i Tr PG Answers 6
1. What are the first organisms to grow back after fire? A. Moss B. Lichen C. Bark 2. What measure of energy comes from the Latin word meaning “heat”? A. The Calorie B. The Kilojule C. The Scoville 3. Raw eggs will maintain their best quality for about 3 weeks after the "sell by", "use by", "best by", or "expiration" date on the carton, assuming continuous refrigeration has been maintained. True or false? 4. What century did mathematicians first use plus and minus signs? A. 14th Century B. 16th Century C. 18th Century 5. Early incarnations of the compound 'aspirin' were made by boiling the bark of the red cedar tree? True or false? 6. What’s short for “binary digit”? A. Digi B. Bigit C. Bit 7. Which is the only vowel on a standard Australian keyboard that is not on the top line of letters? A. U B. O C. A 8. What is the name of the social media platform that came out in 2003? A. Twitter B. Myspace C. Facebook 9. In the movie Grease, where do Sandy and Danny meet for the first time? A. The beach B. The country fair C. The movies 10. Anne Frank and her family hid in an attic during WWII. In which city was their hiding place? A. Rotterdam B. Berlin C. Amsterdam
a w n e r e a e K D om AncienTHtE Wisd er Grain Moth FR OM
DEAR KEENWA,
I am one of the “there's no way I would ever” but have joined an online dating app. My day is spent talking to people I will never meet up with. Yes we are taking it slow, and building connection virtually, but what if it's all just a waste of time? How do I know if these relationships will have a leg to stand on irl? - Virtual Reality
DEAR VIRTUAL REALITY,
Stats show that globally online dating messages have risen by 23 per cent, and in-app video calls by 31 per cent between users since mid-March. Another way of looking at this home time though, is to take the punishment that mother earth has sent us, and whilst we're in our rooms actually reclaim our primary relationship to Her. I wonder how making the earth the centre of our new daily rhythm, instead of you know, a virtual dating background canal in Italy might drastically change how we relate to one another eventually. Now that's sexy.
DEAR KEENWA,
I'm in a long-term, committed, long distance relationship. We had planned to meet up in The Shire in June but with the new tourist lockout rules, the chances of that happening look slim. Part of me thinks that the universe has decided for us, that we just can't be together. The other part is a hopeless romantic that feels like it should rent a boat and paddle across the oceans letting nothing get between us; like true soulmates would not be defeated by the plague would they? Whattya reckon? - Fondled Distance
DEAR FONDLED DISTANCE,
I reckon you're up shit creek without a paddle, my friend. So much is up in the air collectively, with life certainly never to be the same as we rebuild our health, the economy...and relationships. Can't you hear the Hollywood romance myth dying with the rest of patriarchy's outdated systems? Let this one go for now, it will return if it is meant to. Hopefully virus-free.
HAVE A QUESTION FOR KEENWA?
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D IN IN G G U ID E OUR WEEKLY DINING GUIDE WILL BE CHANGING OVER THE NEXT FEW WEEKS TO MAKE SURE YOU STAY IN THE KNOW.
d a e R l l e W
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UR BEACH BA
O BOOKS FOR Y
Many restaurants have been forced to close down their dining areas, or amend their services, due to the coronavirus. Some have been working on alternatives. We want to support our local businesses in the best way we can, so for any that are continuing to operate, we will give them a space to tell you about that here. Home Deliveries, Take-aways, In-home dining, even home cooking – this is the place we will pull it all together for you.
HAVE YOU CHANGED YOUR BUSINESS MODEL?
LET EVERYONE KNOW HOW THEY CAN CONTINUE TO GET YOUR YUMMY FOOD, DELIVERED OR TAKEAWAY
FOR MORE INFO CALL 0487 003 765
Farmers Markets
We are blessed to live in some of the greenest most lush landscapes in Australia and with that comes fantastic growing conditions. With a number of fresh food markets across the shire, local, organic and all round delicious food is only a short distance away. Here are some of the amazing weekly locations where you can fill the pantries and your belly.
TUESDAYS New Brighton Farmers Market 8am - 11am
WEDNESDAYS Murwillumbah Farmers Market 7am - 11am Newrybar Eats and Produce Market 4pm - 7pm
THURSDAYS Byron Bay Farmers Market 7am - 11am Note: location now Cavanbah Centre
FRIDAYS Mullumbimby Farmers Market 7am - 11am
SATURDAYS Bangalow Farmers Market 7am - 11am Lismore Farmers Market 8am - 11:30am
SUNDAYS Ballina Missingham Farmers 6-11am
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This week's review
TITLE: American Gods AUTHOR: Neil Gaiman NUMBER OF PAGES: 736 READING TIME: 14 hours 25 minutes PRICE: $19.95 WHAT IT'S ABOUT: This is a fantasy novel that blends
Americana, sci-fi, ancient and modern mythology and murder mystery into a sometimes slow, but mostly engaging story. We follow Shadow, an excon, as he searches the USA for his wife’s murderer. Early on in his journey he meets the mysterious Mr.Wednesday and they set off on a quest through the grim underbelly of America. Along the way they encounter all sorts of good and evil, in an America where Gods wander around like ordinary people.
WHO IT'S FOR: Gaiman may be best known as a graphic
novelist, with the Sandman series perhaps his standout contribution. But this is no comic book – at over 700 pages (without pictures) you will get plenty of value from your investment, if you are prepared to persist.
WHY YOU SHOULD READ IT: Don’t let the length put you
off, as this allows for detailed character development. And it is the many characters who are left to tell the story. The old Gods of ancient mythology take on modern names - Mr. Wednesday, Mr. Nancy, Mad Sweeney, Whiskey Jack - but they retain all the flawed strengths of their namesakes. They are on a collision course with the modern gods - Technical Boy, Media, The Intangibles, The Black Hats and their leader Mr. World – and the ensuing war uncovers a deeply unsettling American soul.
NOTABLE QUOTES: “I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease, so that one day we'll all be wiped out by the common cold like martians in War of the Worlds.” - “Gods die. And when they truly die they are unmourned and unremembered. Ideas are more difficult to kill than people, but they can be killed in the end.”
3. STONE & WOOD BREWERY
10. RUGGED LUXURY
4. B-LINE AUTO
11. BYRON FARMERS MARKET
5. C&C KITCHENS & BATHROOMS
12. YOUR BUSINESS HERE
Independent brewery Stone & Wood is currently running a takeaway window for locals to fill a 1L sharer bottle with their core range or one-off Pilot Batch beers, or grab a carton or merch takeaway. Open 12–5pm every day. stoneandwood.com.au
Your local auto parts store. Lots of parts and friendly service. Mon-Fri 7:30am-5pm. b-lineauto.com.au 02 6686 0588.
Custom quality at affordable prices. Showroom open Mon-Thu 9 to 5 (4pm Fridays). 02 6608 0522 cckitchens.com.au
Handcrafted Australian made leather luggage & accessories. Leather and Craft Supplies. 0401 203 603 ruggedluxury.com
Byron Farmers Market has the freshest range of locally grown produce direct from our farmers every Thursday 7-11am at the Cavanbah Centre, along with great coffee, live music and free parking.
To feauture on the Arts and Industrial Estate map for as little as $20 / week Contact hello@byronbazaar.com
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This week's recommendation
EP TITLE: Treading Water ARTIST: Chris Kläfford RELEASED: December 2017 GENRE: Pop Rock / Country BIO: Introduced through the 2019 “America’s Got
Talent”, Sweden’s Chris Kläfford blew the judges and the audience away with his interpretation of Lennon’s Imagine – now one of the most viewed on YouTube. It turns out Kläfford wasn’t all that new a talent, having won the Swedish version of Idol in 2017 – after 4 previous attempts! Treading Water was released as a single in Sweden in 2017 and soon became certified platinum.
WHAT TO EXPECT: The EP kicks off with the only original
song, Treading Water. Written by the Swedish idol show for the winner, it’s pretty safe and generic – but Kläfford’s interpretation gives it a real rock-ballad feel. This is a good introduction to a great voice. Add in four classic covers, each done with great style, and you have a very easy to listen to EP.
WHAT WE LIKE: When a musician does a cover, it
usually requires a personal emotional connection and interpretation to become memorable. Imagine does that in spades and is my new favourite version. I think even John Lennon would be happy with this. Take Me to Church is more a straight-out copy – but it takes a super voice to copy Hozier, and Kläfford pulls it off. Wicked Game adds the slide guitar to a very recognisable Chris Isaaks; and then I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing gives us a Bryan Adams version of Steven Tyler.
STANDOUT TRACKS: Imagine, Take Me to Church, Wicked Game.
PERFECT FOR: A wet Saturday afternoon, the chores are done, the beer is chilled and you’re ready to join it. With time to really listen, you can imagine one man’s journey from country hick to pop star.
LISTEN IN IF YOU LIKE: Hozier, Noiseworks, Chris Isaaks.
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Classifieds YOUR LOCAL LISTINGS
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FOR SALE SONY BRAVIA 40� LCD DIGITAL TV with manual, no longer needed; v. good
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WANTED LANDCRUISER & TRUCK Hi I'm currently looking to buy a Toyota hilux land cruiser or truck to make camper no rego needed please call me :) 0403 118 534
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WANTED HOMES TO BUY OR RENT Hello lovely people we do property
cond. $100. Can text photos. Phone: 0403 033 263
management with very high rental return . We need a house to buy totally any condition preferably Gold Coast area 0403 118 534
SKATEBOARD SMOOTH STAR Hardly used, comes w/ helmet /full set safety
WANTED COLLECTABLE OLD BOTTLES Old glass & stoneware bottles such as
gear set/ graphite powder/etc. 0459 338 909 for photo. $300 ONO
COUCH, 3 SEATER, Exc con, beige in colour, double stitched. Have had cover
soft drink, motor oil, milk, stone ginger beer, soda syphons, embossed chemist bottles etc. Ph 0439 779 577
over it, so very clean. $300, you need to collect. 0459 338 909 for photo ,etc
WORM WEE for healthier plants. 100% Pure worm wee. $3 per litre. To ORDER Ring / Text David on 0429 844 548 Delivery within reason.
PROPERTY FOR RENT. BARNSTAY EWINGSDALE Luxe barn stay 2 bed Kitch Bath living
dining porches carport POOL a/c Pet ok $650 - utilities / internet $50 6mth lease TEXT only 0476 134 901
6 MONTH LEASES IN BYRON CBD S/C Studio $275, 2 studio complex with outdoor kitchen $350, 4 bed 4 bath house $775. Contact 0431 055 407
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