Cw issue 838 by Canarian Weekly

E E R

SAFETY FIRST FOR CARNAVAL

Issue 838 31st January - 6th February 2014

Inside this week...

See page 3 for full story

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SAFETY FIRST IS THE NEW THEME FOR CARNAVAL NEW safety measures have been put in place for this year’s Santa Cruz Carnaval following the horrific accident during the 2013 crowning ceremony of the Queen.

The colourful spectacular begins officially on Wednesday with a presentation of the 16 girls vying to be Carnaval Queen. It heralds one of the world’s greatest fiestas - acknowledged as second only to the incredible Rio Festival. And most of the Carnaval’s extra 200,000 euros in the 2.8m euro budget is being spent to ensure the safety of the girls, as well as making safe all the floats, plus spectators and those taking part in the daily processions. For starters, all pyrotechnic devices have been banned, together with “any other aids which may pose even a minimal risk of causing damage or injury to another person” in any costumes. In addition, height restrictions for costumes have been reduced by 50cm, now limiting the height to 4.5metres for safety reasons. Costumes must also be easy to remove “without hindrance or impediment” in case an incident occurs. For 26-year-old Saida Prieto, however, the Carnival Queen event will bring stark reminders of her nightmare as she waited backstage, preparing to strut her stuff in front of the judges. The young beauty suffered horrific burns to around 40% of her body when a pyrotechnic device in the costume of a

home. Four other contestants were treated for first-degree burns by the Red Cross, and an on-the-spot TV reporter said: “The scene was horrific, terrifying. A curtain caught fire and in less than a second, 10-metre flames (32ft) shot to the ceiling.” All the girls’ costumes will be checked rigorously between 9am and midday on the day of the election (26th Feb) to ensure that they all comply with the new standard.

contestant behind her ignited prematurely. She was taken to Candelaria Hospital

initially, and then transferred to a specialist burns unit in Seville. Spain, where she was initially reported as

being in a “serious condition”. Happily, though scarred badly, she pulled through and was eventually allowed

There will be a minimum for each float of four people on foot, who will monitor safety. Animals are not allowed on or around the floats, which must all carry two fire extinguishers. Sound and lighting has also been tackled by organisers, and all installations will be required to have a design report and carry certification pertaining to electrical installations (sound systems, lights, and electrical panels). To reduce noise pollution, the output of each float’s sound system must not exceed 55 decibels, and failure to comply could mean expulsion from the event. The general public’s barbecues and camp-

ing stoves (unless powered by butane, and with cylinders of less than 6 kilos) are banned, as well as charcoal and electric barbecues. Finally, only drivers of floats and other vehicles will be allowed in the driver’s cabin, and all staff at the event are banned from boozing while working. These are all logical steps, but why has it taken such an accident to make this happen? On an upbeat note, countless people from all over the world - and Tenerifians, of course - flock to Santa Cruz each year to see and take part in this glorious fiesta. And as many as 230,000 visitors are expected daily to enjoy the festivities. The Carnaval, which this year has a cartoon theme, features parades, day and night, with musicians playing at every stage of the journey through the capital. The street parties begin on 28th February, with some 6,000 people taking part in various groups, performing anything and everything. The advice from Carnaval organiser Fernando Ballesteros to first-time visitors is simple: “Arrive dressed in costume to get into the spirit of the event, whether it’s a hat, your face painted or full costume.” Bus company TITSA lay on services in the South for the Carnaval and there’s more information is available from www.titsa.com

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Local hospitals need more beds PAULINO RIVERO’S controversial comments about people discharged from hospital continuing to occupy beds seem to have hit a nerve.

Yet the Canaries’ President has pointed out a serious problem regarding healthcare in the Islands. The World Health Organisation’s guidelines suggest that for every 1,000 people in the population over 65, there should be around 50 hospital beds available. In Spain, this figure sits at a paltry 31.1. Of the 7,663 beds in 12 public hospitals and a

further 11 private ones in the Canaries, just 200 are for medium and long-term care. It puts the Islands at the bottom of the list by autonomous region, and poles apart from the rest of Europe. According to Rivero, 400 discharged patients are still occupying beds - 300 in private hospitals and the remainder in State ones running up a daily cost

of 240,000 euros. And at 600 euros per patient per day, this cost is three times more than the norm. Last August, plans were set in motion to revise the enforcement of an order aiming to regulate the referral service: patients fit enough to be discharged from hospital could receive care at home. Unfortunately, enforcing the order appears to be nigh on impossible, because of the increasing age of the population in need, and the lack of sufficient facilities to provide adequate care for the increasing numbers of chronic patients.

Foreigners Domestic violence

spend, attacks on the slide spend, spend! INTERNATIONAL visitors to the Canary Islands spent 11,648 million euros in 2013, representing an increase of 11.6% over 2012.

It was the secondhighest increase in the whole of Spain (topped only by Cataluña, with a 13.4% rise). The survey of tourist spending (Egatur), developed by the Ministry for Industry, Energy and Tourism’s research department, indicates that the average daily spend per visitor rose by 4.5% to 113 euros. And the average expenditure per tourist for his/her entire stay rose by 6.4% to 1,099 euros. A strong close to a very good year saw

spending in the Canaries in December 2013 up 26.1% against the same period in 2012. José Manuel Soria, who heads the department, said this overall increase was down to not only the sharp rise in the number of visitors in the year (up 5.6%), but also to the increased expenditure per visitor. The stalwarts of the United Kingdom, Germany, France and Scandinavia were also joined to a degree by marked increases in the number of visitors from China and Russia, up 27.1% and 28.9% respectively. Meanwhile, a 20.2% increase in spending by visitors from Belgium accounted for 2.9% of the year’s total. During 2013, Brits again topped the list, accounting for 20.3% of the total (up 7.8% on 2012), followed by Germany (16.5%, up 7.9%).

THERE were 1,775 reports of violence against women in the Canary Islands in the third quarter of 2013.

This was down 309 from the previous year’s

total for the same period, recorded by the General Judiciary Council (CGPJ). The number of protection orders requested also fell last year by 115 to 552 over the same months. By province, Gran Canaria accounted for the

higher percentage of complaints and, at the end of the period, 1,066 of them were yet to be resolved. Despite the decline, the Canary Islands rank fifth-highest of all Spain’s autonomous communities. Andalusia topped the list with

7,340, followed by Madrid (4988), Valencia (4,519) and Catalonia (4,454). Nationally, a total of 33,050 complaints were made from July to September. La Rioja recorded the lowest figure, with just 135.

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PM Rajoy is keen to debate Abortion Law SPANISH Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy is open to debate on the thorny subject of abortion.

He is adamant that his Government’s desire to seek legislation as a result of talks “reflects the constitutional doctrine, respects the rights of all and can be accepted by the majority of society.” Of the new draft bill on protecting the life of the unborn, and the rights of pregnant women, he told ministers: “It may be subject to improvement, debate and new contributions, as well as a different approach”. He added: “I am willing to talk with everyone who has an opinion on this matter, because it would be good to reach some sort of understanding to avoid - as has been the case A LA PALMA town, ripped apart by recent storms, is hoping to be declared a “Disaster Zone”. Crops have been decimated in Los Llanos de Aridane, and properties in isolated areas there have been severely damaged. If the Canary Government, La Palma Cabildo and the European Commission all agree, financial aid will be made available for those affected. Whatever the outcome, there is still the

on other occasions - the unilateral rupture of a consensus that has existed since 1985.” Rajoy acknowledged that certain aspects of the draft bill were “controversial”. and he is fully aware that society

has a range of opinions on the matter. “It is an enormouslysensitive subject and I believe it should be treated with that same degree of sensitivity and a delicate touch,” said the Prime Minister.

La Palma ‘disaster zone’ plea question of insurance pay-outs to those affected, particularly as some of the damage was not sustained on agricultural land. The Cabildo’s Agriculture Minister, José Basilio Pérez, is confident that “all necessary

support” will be provided to everyone affected. Damage to the banana crop in Breña Alta, Puntagorda and Los Llanos de Aridane has been estimated at around 80%, and about 30-40% of avocados have been lost.

“The goal here is not to enact legislation that reflects the personal or individual principles of any one person or sector. “Instead, we want to produce a text that reflects the constitutional

doctrine, respects the rights of all and can be accepted by the majority of society. That is what this government seeks.” He also fielded questions concerning the right to public health-

care protection, saying: “This, fortunately, is public, universal, free, and - as things stand today - also sustainable. “And a pact has also been reached with all the healthcare professionals in the sector, which was never the case before.” Rajoy recalled that the long-term unemployed previously had to pay 40% of the cost of any medication, but they no longer have to pay a cent. He also stressed: “All those students who travel away from Spain are given a Spanish healthcare card. And all those who leave the country for work receive a healthcare card from their destination country within 90 days. “They can use it when they come back to Spain, and are re-issued with a Spanish healthcare card if they return for good.”

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Adeje Council clamps down on bullies in area ADEJE Council this week began an anti-bullying campaign in the borough’s secondary schools.

It involves series of workshops and informative talks to help equip students to deal with different situations within the school environment. The project’s directors, Education and Equality Councillors Andrés Pérez Ramos and Juan Desiderio Afonso Ruiz respectively, say: “These actions are part of the first ‘Strategic Plan for Equal Opportunities

between Adeje’s Women and Men’. “It will give students a series of know-hows and working tools to improve the quality of their lives inside and outside the school grounds. “Here in the Council, we understand that education which teaches respect for everyone is vitally important. And

teaching about how diversity enriches us and our society is developing respect among equals.” The programme will give answers to basic questions such as: *What exactly constitutes school bullying? *Who bullies and why? *How do you deal with situations like this?

*What are the emotional and physical injuries bullying in schools can cause? Above all, however, the team will be working to answer the bigger questions: “How can we find a solution to the problem.” For these workshops to have full effect, it is also important that the teachers are involved, as well as the whole student body, parents associations, etc. Students in these schools will also receive talks on related matters, on sexual behaviour, prevention of homophobia, transphobia (fear of trans-gender people) and the prevention of violence against women. The councillors added: “We are giving our young people the training and information needed to learn to develop an equalitarian society in which respect, harmonious co-existence and dialogue predominate and are the basic fundamental tools for the integration of all.” The workshops will be held in the Los Olivos and El Galeón secondary schools during the remainder of this school year.

Job hopes so slim for Canaries’ youngsters THERE were 23,100 unemployed people between the ages 16 and 24 in the Canary Islands in 2007.

Today that figure stands at 56,000 and, already, the National Statistics Institute’s quarterly report from the Labour Force Survey is hinting at a “lost generation”. But only time will tell. More worrying is the fact that these figures relate to the active population only, and do not include those in education, or seeking employment (those finishing education this year will add to the total). The Canaries show the second-highest rate of

youth unemployment in the whole of Spain, where a staggering 62.19% of those aged 1624 are out of work. That figure is topped only by Andalusia, with a whopping 63.91% jobless. These figures are way above the national average, which is still a worrying 55%. Considering the 2007 figures, the percentage of the jobless total in the 16-24 bracket has tripled (20.5% in 2007 to 62.19% now). A lack of policies for youth employment has been cited for the increase. In the boom years before the recession, many people left school knowing a job would be relatively easy to find, be it in tourism, construction, or one of many other striving industries.

Since the recession began, however, jobs for young people have be-

come sparser, and those leaving education to enter the labour force

have found themselves wanting. When young people enter the search

for work in a time where there is precious little on offer, they quickly become “long-term” unemployed, without training to enter the jobs market And they may never be equipped with the tools to find and hold down a job, even if one were to be available. Possibly, the most saddening part is that the current generation is among the best-educated in the islands’ history. More and more are receiving university education, only to find that there is nothing at the end of it. That is not to say there is no disparity because those who have a better education are still more likely to find work than those with lower qualifications.

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Swede’s marathon Atlantic challenge

The editor says...

Email: editor@canarianweekly.com

The right attitude...

WHEN you live on a sunshine island, life can seem rather sedate. I guess it’s one of the reasons why so many Senior Citizens choose to live here during the winter months.

And, coupled with our Spanish cousins “easy” attitude to work, it’s almost like a Del Amitri song. But I detect a change. Am I the only one who is amazed that most of the damage from December’s storms have been addressed and fixed? It’s as if it never happened. Walls have been fixed, potholes filled in, and almost every night they are working on the TF1. The Parque de la Reina turn-off is almost fixed. The storms set the repairs back, but the job is nearly complete.

In Las Americas, the car park renovations opposite Leonardos are done. I’m not sure what the point was as there seems to be fewer spaces, but it all looks rather nice. And it’s been completed inside the budget and nearly on time, which for here is a miracle. So what has changed? I’d like to think that the change of attitude at the top is having an effect lower down the chain. The local mayors are having a good spell, and the fresh, vibrant Carlos Alonso is impressing as boss of the Cabildo. Maybe their new “can do” attitude has woken up a few people. The manaña syndrome has held Spain back for so long. But in 2014 that doesn’t wash, and with more and more people looking for work, maybe this has led to workers actually working. Answers on the back of an email, but I do like this new feel around the place. I hope it lasts.

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A 34-YEAR-OLD Swede, who escaped serious injury after falling from a roof six years ago, has set himself an incredible challenge.

Peder Åström, aiming to become the first Swede ever to row solo across the Atlantic, should have started his 3,000-mile journey to Barbados on Monday from San Miguel Marina in a boat measuring 7m x 2m (22ft 9ins x 6ft 6ins), His target is to arrive there between 60 and 100 days, depending on the weather. But high winds, rough seas and a horrible cold delayed his departure until yesterday (Thursday). Apart from wanting to test his body to the limit, he is also part of the Atlantic Project, which supports environmental group Greenpeace. The Stockholm man, a roofer by trade, chose to set off from the Tenerife marina because of the usually gentle sea conditions in the area - tried and tested by a rowing team in 2010,

who made the same crossing in one month. He also wants to use his journey as a vehicle for denouncing the “irreparable damage caused by trawling”. It is his way of supporting Naturskyddsföreningen (Sweden’s Nature Conservation Group), which has been fighting for this cause. His horrifying 2008 accident, in which he fractured an elbow and broke some vertebrae, opened his eyes to the possibility of what his future might have entailed had be been

left paralysed, as was thought by surgeons initially. Peder’s subsequent recovery, from a nine-hour operation back to full health, persuaded him to complete his long spell of rehabilitation by taking on this monumental task, as well as supporting the environment. The Swede said: “A few years ago, I saw a documentary about Ben Fogel and James Cracknell rowing across the Atlantic. I was very impressed and decided I would one day like

to complete the same challenge. “After my accident, I had plenty of time to think about my life while in hospital, and I realised I could have been paralysed or even died. “I’ve always been interested in following the challenges and adventures of others, and I felt that if they could achieve their dreams, then why not me?” His only other experience at sea came several years ago when he joined nine other students in rowing a Viking boat around the north of Russia. His lightweight boat carries an AIS receiver and a navigational plotter, a VHS radio (to communicate with other boats) and six solar panels to charge the batteries. Peder plans two paddling shifts of two hours, with a two-hour break, and will sleep between 4-6 hours at night. He will be eating dried food and chocolate only, and has an electric water treatment installed to provide drinking water. To follow his progress at sea, check out www. atlanticproject.se

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Ticket short-cut for travellers

RESIDENTS in Tenerife and the other Canary Islands won’t have to purchase residence certificates to get 50% travel discounts - but not until November.

SARA system should be available for airlines and travel agents to make it easier for people trav-

elling to and from the mainland. It means that travellers will be automati-

cally recognised as eligible for the 50% discount when buying their tickets, as long as they are

in the pertinent database. In the meantime, they will still have to provide the residence certificate (available from local Citizens’ Information Centres or town halls) until the system is fully integrated.

The process actually started to be put into operation last year, and some companies are already compliant. Residents have been waiting years for the system to be simplified, so they probably won’t mind this delay.

Hi-tech ‘tree’ for youngsters

That’s the deadline for travel agents to make sure its systems will be converted for local authorities, who will be responsible for holding the relevant data. By then, with the new regulation in force, the

We’ll ban smoking with kids in cars, says Labour

PLANS for a “wifi tree” on Tenerife’s northern coast have been given the green light.

An 80,000-euro budget has been earmarked for the three-phase operation at the Parque de las Furnias, in Punta de Hidal. The first phase comprises installing the “tree”, which will be used as a meeting point

dfor youngsters, offering free wi-fi, powered by solar energy. The second and third phases consist of a climbing wall and exercise machines, which will generate energy to be stored to power the park’s facilities and lighting. The objective is to provide youngsters with an inviting new meeting point, right on the coast, and with free wifi, which is always an attraction.

Keep Arona tidy! Plain clothes police officers are set to patrol certain “black spots” in the municipality in an attempt to keep these areas free of unsightly rubbish.

A PLAN by Labour peers to ban smoking in cars carrying children in England was put to the vote in the House of Lords on Wednesday.

They tabled an amendment to the Children and Families Bill detailing their proposal. And if the vote is not

carried, it will be included in the party’s manifesto for next year’s General Election. But the Department of Health believes education campaigns are a better way to discourage people from smoking around children. Smoking is banned in England in workplaces and most enclosed public spaces. The amendment, brought jointly by Lord

Hunt, Lord Faulkner and Baroness Hughes, will penalise drivers of private vehicles from allowing smoking, or failing to prevent passengers from smoking with a child present. Shadow Health Secretary Andy Burnham told Sky News: “When it comes to improving the health of children, we are duty-bound to consider any measure that might make a differ-

ence. “Adults are free to make their own choices, but that often does not apply to children - and that’s why society has an obligation to protect them from preventable harm.” He added: “Evidence from other countries shows that stopping smoking in the confined space of a car carrying children can prevent damage to their health.”

The initiative was launched by Antonio Sosa, Arona’s Councillor for the Environment on Monday. Sosa said that there are several areas, particularly where there are large numbers of tourists, where bins are overflowing, and where rubbish is carelessly thrown near to, not in, the rubbish bins. The view, he says, is not at all inviting, and is frankly off-putting to residents and tourists alike. The same agents will also be on the lookout for pet owners who fail to clean up after their pets that foul public areas, and are also expected to monitor illegal street trading. Sosa expects to receive fund-

ing for twelve officers to carry out the tasks, hopefully reducing the problem and improving the image of the area in general. So called “Rapid Response” brigades will also be deployed to alert the relevant departments of any specific issues that may arise when the usual crews are out of operating hours. The agents involved will also be carrying out an awareness campaign, where they will “inform and educate citizens as to how they can contribute to proper waste management.” Finally, in the main commercial areas, it is hoped that a new plan will be put into operation to deal with and remove the masses of cardboard waste which accumulate, particularly between 7 and 11pm. For this initiative, Sosa has sought the cooperation of the San Isidro based paper and cardboard waste company Martínez Cano; and signs so far are promising.

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Home-owners in negative equity

Good luck, Linda! WHEN Linda Consterdine was transferred from the Royal Bank of Scotland to a Tenerife bank in 1991 for a threeyear period, she never dreamed she would still be here today. But she has remained with the Santander Bank on the Island for all that time, firstly at the Palm Beach branch in Las Americas, , and then as manager at Los Cristianos Church Square branch. Linda has now taken early retirement after 42 years in banking, having become a director of Santander’s Passarella Oasis branch, also in Los Cristianos. She sowed the seeds for her banking career as a 14-year-old when she was appointed “school bank manager” in charge of collecting

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money for school trips from her fellow pupils and paying it into the local TSB bank. Her first thought after saying goodbye to colleagues was to consider all the customers she had met during her career here. “I thank them for all their loyal custom over the years,” she said. Now, though, she is ready to relax and enjoy life to the full, which means she will not be putting her feet up. Linda has made plans for a busy, sporting retirement. Her great hobby is hiking (check her out on Facebook’s hiking pages) and her other aims are “to play golf and have the occasional gin and tonic”. Cheers, Linda. Have a fantastic life of leisure and pleasure.

AN estimated 25,000 home owners in the Canaries are expected to be in negative equity by the end of next year.

The number of properties where the outstanding balance of a mortgage exceeded the value of the property reached 18,991 in 2013, and it is

rising all the time. This alarming news comes from independent savings website Kelisto.es, which also predicts that by the end of the year, around 22,000 properties will be in negative equity. The gap between what properties are worth and the amount outstanding on them totals around 115 million euros, representing

7.2% of all mortgaged properties in the Archipelago. The study predicts that this gap will widen to 175m euros this year, and go up to 228,5m in 2015. The average debt per owner affected (dividing the gap by the number of affected owners) was 6.089 euros in 2013. That sum will increase by nearly 2,000 euros

this year, and will be up to 9,184 euros in 2015. When you consider the average property price in the Canary Islands (124,800 euros at the end of 2013), it means that the loan-to-value figure (comparing the value of the property to the amount owed on it) was 105% in 2013. It will reach 107% this year, and 108% next year.

Banks could be fined over their empty buildings SANTA CRUZ Council wants to penalise banks which own empty properties in the area. But at the moment, it has no power to sanction fines because it does not control housing. To get around this problem, officials have

asked the Government to grant such power. Housing chief Ángela Mena is confident that the plan will be pushed through, forcing banks to do something about their empty buildings - even leasing them to homeless families.

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The Prince and Princess drop in

ROYALTY descended on the Island this week when Prince Felipe and Princess Letizia made a brief visit.

They were received by Canarian Government President Paulino Rivero, who hosted a luncheon and gave a

speech calling for more national support, commitment and loyalty to aid economic recovery. “These are complex times we live in, where the economic crisis and institutional issues require a lot of commitment, loyalty and responsibility,” he said. Rivero addressed the Prince to guarantee loyalty and commit-

ment for the Canary Islands, saying: “This territory demands commitment and support to overcome the difficulties which affect everyone, but especially to the Archipelago.” Afterwards, the royal couple visited two Santa Cruz museums before making the short flight to Gran Canaria, where they later dined in Las Palmas.

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Adeje business booming

AROUND 230 new businesses opened in Adeje last year, with just 31 traders closing their doors.

And Councillor José María Álvarez Acosa, head of the Council’s Technical Department, is more than delighted. “These figures show that our borough continues to be a place to do business in, a place for investments,” he said. “They also show that we have earned the confidence of the businesses community, from large employers to medium and small enterprises.” Buoyant José María Álvarez added: “The good, economic state of the zone, as we see it, is a reflection of the healthy state of the tourism sector, which has responded well to the economic crisis. “Now is the time for those in enterprise, whether they are service providers or producers, to benefit.”

As well as helping to open the new businesses, his department also processed 718 decrees and dealt with over 4,000 petitions, most of

them concerning urban and works’ licences. No wonder he is pleased with the end-ofyear balance. “These figures reflect the ad-

Canarian Weekly Photo Challenge This week’s best photo: Dan OsorioPhotography

Theme: Something Touristy

This week’s theme is Something Blue

vantages of prompt and efficient dealing with petitions from people and investors,” he said. “We have made an effort to reduce the

amount of paperwork and bureaucracy needed for certain processes. “Under new regulations regarding classification of certain activi-

ties, granting opening licences for businesses is a simpler process, as is seeking licences for the development of leisure activities.”

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French stars off the hook!

Barclays bank wield the axe A HUGE Barclays restructuring project includes closing about 400 branches and axing hundreds of jobs.

It means 25% of its investment banking division will go, with as many as 400 senior managers, based mainly in London and New York, facing redundancy. Barclays will probably substitute the empty buildings for outlets in Asda supermarkets. It is another hammer

blow to the staff, following the 3,700 lay-offs early last year. Chief Executive Antony Jenkins, aiming to improve profitability in view of falling trading revenues and tougher regulations, is also expected to unveil his financial targets over a five year period in February. Mr Jenkins, who replaced Bob Diamond following the Libor rate scandal, plans to save £1.7bn on annual expenses this year alone. The latest cost-cutting venture will encourage customers to use new banking technology,

such as smartphone applications. Barclays is following in the footsteps of other major banks, forced into structural shuffles after feeling the effects of the weak global economy and the changing regulatory environment. Earlier this week, Lloyds Banking Group announced it would be getting rid of 1,080 jobs as part of a business overhaul announced in 2011. The Co-operative Bank also said it would trim down its branch network following a recent £1.5bn capital-raising exercise.

TWO of the world’s most famous footballers have been sensationally cleared of having sex with an under-age prostitute.

Bayern Munich’s Franck Ribery and Karim Benzema have always denied the charges in a case that has gripped France. Yesterday (Thursday), the judge ruled there was insufficient proof that the Internationals knew Zahia Dehar was only 17, and a minor, at the time the alleged offences took place.

Neither player, nor Ms Dehar, appeared at the trial, in which the men faced three years in jail. Dehar, 21, told investigators that Ribery had flown her to Munich as a birthday present to himself in 2009. She insists she lied about her age and didn’t tell the footballer she was only 17 at the time. Real Madrid’s Benzema is alleged to have met her the previous year in Paris. The prosecution said that he took her to his hotel, where he paid to have sex with her. Benzema denied there was any such encounter. After yesterday’s ruling, Ribery’s lawyer,

Carlo Alberto Brusa, said: “He is very happy with the verdict. We fought for him to be cleared without any stain on his name. This acquittal is the end of a sad story.” Benzema’s lawyer, Sylvain Cormier, said he “Could feel all the weight coming off. The case had been morally very trying and the decision is the end of a nightmare”. The age of consent is 15 in France, but paying for sex with anyone under 18 is a crime. Since the scandal first erupted, Dehar has became a celebrity in France.

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They still love you, yeah, yeah, yeah!

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Hello Prime Minister Fry!

BEATLES Sir Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr, surviving members of the Fab Four, reunited on stage at this year’s Grammys to perform a new song.

Sir Paul’s song Queenie Eye had Yoko Ono - widow of the late John Lennon - dancing in the audience in Los Angeles as the music legends performed. Lennon’s son Sean danced alongside his mother as McCartney played the piano and Starr got behind his drum kit. It was Beatles reunion in more ways than one because George Harrison’s widow, Olivia, and the wives of Sir Paul and Ringo were also in attendance at the Staples Centre. McCartney and Starr held hands at the end of the song during a standing ovation, embracing and bowing to an ecstatic audience. The performance came 50 years after the Beatles took the US by storm on their first visit there. And remarkably, it was only the fourth time they had appeared

on stage together since a 2002 concert to honour Harrison. The Beatles won eight Grammys during their illustrious career, including Best New Artist in 1964 and Album of the Year for Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band three years later. They are the best-selling band in history, with more than one billion unit sales worldwide. The 71-year-old McCartney also proved that the Fab Four survivors could still put one over fellow-veteran rockers the Rolling Stones.

His collaboration with Foo Fighters’ frontman Dave Grohl, plus former Nirvana duo Krist Novoselic and Pat Smear, entitled Cut Me Some Slack, beat the Stones’ Doom and Gloom to the Best Rock Song award. Modest McCartney, after sharing the stage with them, said: “It was magic for me playing with these guys. I found myself in the middle of a Nirvana reunion and I was very happy.” Earlier in the night 73-year-old Ringo performed his solo offering Photograph - a 1973

British hit for him. And actress Julia Roberts then topped it by announcing that the Beatles would receive the 2014 Recording Academy Lifetime Achievement Award next month. Yoko and Olivia later presented the Grammy for Album of the Year to French electro duo Daft Punk for Random Access Memories. The band were joined by Pharrell Williams, Nile Rodgers and Stevie Wonder for a showstopping Get Lucky, the record of the year.

STEPHEN FRY has joined the cast of 24: Live Another Day as Prime Minister Trevor Davies. The PM is a strong and charismatic leader, whose alliance with President Heller (William Devane) will come under tremendous pressure because of personal and political crises. The series also sees the return of Keifer Sutherland as Jack Bauer, Mary Lynn Rajskub as Chloe and Kim Raver as Audrey. Fry confirmed his role on Twitter, writing: “Well, this particular cat is out of the bag.” In the new series, set four years after the last one, counter-terrorist Bauer is on the run from the CIA in London, where Sutherland has recently been pho-

tographed filming in Aldgate. The opening episode, a two-hour special, will be featured on US TV with a two-hour special on 5th May. It will be broadcast on Sky 1 soon after. This shorter, 12-part series of 24 still take places over the course of a single day, but leaps around in time instead of following the usual, hour-by-hour structure. Sutherland says of his return: “I’m about as anxious and wound up as I’ve been in a long time. There’s a great impetus for all of us to create something new with the show.” He adds: “Hopefully, by the time you’re finished watching an episode, you’ll feel like you’ve been there - on the edge of your seat.”

Lions’ Charter Night’s a feast S A N T I A G O del Teide Lions Club members are holding their Charter Night at El Marques, Puerto Santiago on Saturday, 22nd February. As usual, the event will be a full sit-down, hot-and-cold buffet, followed by cabaret and dancing till late. The evening starts at 7.30pm for an eight o’clock sit down. And anyone who has experienced an El Marques buffet will know what an amazing selection of food is served up.

In addition to the superb entertainment, there will be our usual euro note draw, with great prizes donated by local businesses. This promises again to be a great fun night, and with the ticket price still held at 32.50 euros - including a half-bottle of wine per person - it is excellent value. There will be Happy Hour at the bar, and dress code is smartcasual. Tickets are available from El Marques Resales Office in Puerto de Santiago, or call Steve on 666 362 092.

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www.canarianweekly.com

News

31st January 2014 - 6th February 2014

Drug-taker Nigella is in the clear

Another Marlboro Man stubbed out! AN AMERICAN who portrayed the rugged Marlboro man in cigarette adverts during the late Seventies and early Eighties has died from lung disease.

Eric Lawson, who appeared in printed Marlboro adverts between 1978 and 1981, died of respiratory failure because of chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD). The 72-year-old, who had smoked since the age of 14, died at his Californian home on Sunday. And he is the third actor/model advertising Marlboro brand cigarettes to have died of a smoking-related disease. The other two were David Millar, who died of emphysema in 1987, and David McLean, who died of lung cancer eight years later. Lawson featured in episodes of hit US television drama serials Charlie’s Angels, Dynasty and Baywatch. He

also had bit parts on TV shows Baretta and The Streets of San Francisco among others. He later appeared in an anti-smoking commercial which parodied the Marlboro man, and discussed the negative effects of lighting-up on US television. His wife Susan said he was proud of the interview, even though he was smoking at the time - and he continued the habit until he was diagnosed with COPD. “He knew the cigarettes had a hold on him,” she said. “He knew, yet he still couldn’t stop.” Lawson’s acting career ended in 1997 when he was injured while filming a Western. The Marlboro Man campaign promoted the company’s products for more than 40 years after it was originally conceived to popularise filtered cigarettes, which were considered feminine. COPD is the name for a collection of lung diseases, including chronic bronchitis, emphysema and chronic obstructive airways disease.

POLICE have decided not to take action against TV cook Nigella Lawson following her admission in court that she took drugs.

She testified at a fraud trial involving her personal assistants -two sisters - that she had taken cocaine in the past, but she stressed that she wasn’t an addict. The Met decided a prosecution would not be in the public’s interest, following an investigation. Any action, police chiefs decided, could deter witnesses from giving evidence in future trials.

Sisters Francesca and Elisabetta Grillo, of Bayswater, west London, were cleared of defrauding Ms Lawson and Charles Saatchi, her former husband During their trial, at which the sisters testified that she was an habitual drug user, Ms Lawson said she took cocaine with her first husband, John Diamond, when he discovered he was terminally ill with cancer. She also said she indulged in July 2010, in the later years of her marriage to Mr Saatchi. In addition, Ms Lawson admitted to cannabis use in the last year of her marriage to the

businessman and art dealer. In an email read out at Isleworth Crown Court, Mr Saatchi claimed Ms Lawson’s drug use meant she allowed their former assistants to spend what they liked. Police said lasts month that a specialist team would examine the evidence as part of a review into the case. It has now been concluded and the Met said in a statement that any police action had to be “proportionate”. It went on: “There are serious public interest concerns about the message any prosecution would send out

to potential witnesses and victims in the future. “Whilst witnesses clearly cannot simply admit to any offence under oath without consequences, this has to be balanced with the requirement for victims and witnesses to tell the truth. “Further police activity may deter victims from being candid with police and in court, for fear of future investigation.” Ms Lawson had said previously that she was “disturbed” by the court process. Her spokesman said she would not be commenting on the police decision.

www.canarianweekly.com 31st January 2014 - 6th February 2014

Classic Bistro – Delicious Menu BISTRO 108, nestled in the back streets of Los Cristianos, has certainly made its mark since opening just over two months ago. The restaurant, owned by James Daly, has international cuisine as its inspiration, with seasonal menus from head chef Gabor Almasi. His dishes are a good mix of classic and contemporary styles, with a wealth of well-sourced ingredients. They have a strong influence from France, with nods to Britain, Spain and Italy. The freshest seasonal ingredients are also a huge priority for the kitchen, and the menus are evolving constantly as Gabor responds to customer feedback. James and Gabor were in harness together in Alicante, before the latter moved to Ireland and worked at Marco Pierre White’s acclaimed restaurant Dawson’s Steakhouse & Grill. He was there for two years before moving on to Dylan McGrath’s Rustic Stone. But with a love for outdoor sports and sunshine, Gabor decided to leave the cold and wet of Dublin behind to team up with James again in Tenerife. The menu is small but adequate, with enough choice for everyone. To start, we sampled grilled seta mushroom with blue cheese, pinenuts and wholegrain mustard dressing; chicken and chorizo skewers with grilled star fruit, served on corn tortilla drizzled with basil oil, smoked salmon with creamy horseradish, advocado and served with crispbreads. There was plenty of choice, including King Prawn Cocktail, Fig and Goat’s Cheese sprill roll, infused with red wine figs and pinenuts, and a Tris de Bruschetta. The presentation of all the dishes was excellent and plentiful, with superb flavours. For the main course we had a varied range of tempting dishes to choose from, such as Mushroom Risotto, Prawn Linguini, Crispy Sea Trout and Marinated Chicken. We opted for Prime Fillet Steak, served with a choice of pepper coat and served with a range of sauces, Duck Leg Confit with coriander honey and orange potatoes, slow-cooked Lamb Shank with creamy mash potatoes and rich red wine, and Pork Fillet Medallions with gratin potato and chorizo cream sauce. The food was presented beautifully and the flavours exquisite. The portions were excellent and we all agreed that another visit to Bistro 108 is a must to sample some of the other choices from the plentiful menu. After a little wait to find out if any of us actually had any room for desserts, we perused the menu and simply had no choice but to find room for two, to be shared between the four of us. The desserts are simple yet delicious, and the perfect way to finish a meal. Eton Mess, Banoffee Pie, warm chocolate fudge cake and the wonderful Mojito Sorbet. Booking in advance at Bistro 108 is advisable, and you can contact the restaurant on 922 751 626 (mobile 606 032 381), or email contact@bistro108.es. Bistro 108 also has a website at www.bistro108.es which has full details of all their menus and other information.

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The Ferguson Files

By Joe Ferguson

31st January 2014 - 6th February 2014

Spotlight is back on my Island of dreams

YOU can’t seem to look in a newspaper, or one of the thousands of gossip rags, to notice that Tenerife is getting quite a lot of publicity.

I say gossip mags because it amounts to page after page of celebrities and, let’s just say, others known only to ITV2 viewers, in beach gear, taking a long-needed break from doing whatever little they actually do. For the last few years, those who feel the need to be pictured in a swimsuit have flown off to the Bahamas or Los Angeles, to be greeted at an airport by a random photographer. Have you ever asked yourself how come a “performer” from The Only Way Is Essex seems to be recognised by someone who takes pictures of the Hollywood A-List for a living 3,000 miles away? They don’t! They’ve been on the flight beside them because it’s just a set up. Those shots on Hello or OK are not just taken by

someone looking for celebs. It’s all part of the game. But the good thing now is that the game is being played in Tenerife, and long may it continue. Obviously, there’s exceptions to just wanting to make it into the newspapers, and that was demonstrated over the past

Only in... Northern Ireland

YOU know the history of my home country. Along with the majority who have no wish to see the return of trouble, I have had to put up with so-called politicians talking about how to look to the future. All they have to do is talk to those of us who never wanted any trouble in the first place. But why should they? As long as they can be in the limelight for as long as is possible, the better it is for them. So what do they do?

They meet up in a fancy Belfast hotel, while the taxpayers pick up a bill, look at each other across a table and hold talks. But these are not any kind of talks on how to get on with it. These are called “Talks about talks”. Only in this country would you see grown men and woman acting like spoilt little kids. Oh, what I would give to hear simple, boring politics being spoken about - like health and the economy!

Contact Joe at: www.facebook.com/joeferguson.921 Twitter: @djjoeferguson

week or so with a visit from X Factor winner Shayne Ward. As I’m now based back in Belfast, I didn’t see his face in one of the tabloids. But if I saw one picture in Facebook, I saw a thousand. Even Roscoe, the very private Oasis Fm breakfast presenter, was seen in quite a few people’s timeline with Mr Ward. Turns out that he was here on a genuine holi-

day, had time for everyone who met him, and, from all accounts, had a great holiday. But it’s Tenerife which seems to be getting the headlines, along with the known people. I’m loving it because it’s no great secret that the Island took a knock, wrongly, in a lot of the press not that long ago. So to see it being given the recognition it so rightly deserves is fantastic. So I guess it really

doesn’t matter who the “celebs” are selling themselves to. As long as the Island is seen in a good light, that’s all that matters. Kerry Katona, the cast of TOWIE and pop stars are all flying off and staying in what is my second home. While I was on a train at the weekend, two ladies sitting opposite me were looking at Heat magazine and discussing with each other how beautiful Tenerife was, and asking why they’d never been? I seriously wanted to butt in and tell them why they should go, but anyone who knows me will be aware that I find it a nightmare just to sit in people’s company for more than 30 seconds! The early-morning TV shows have also cottoned on to the fact that Tenerife is cool. This Morning, on ITV, gave away a holiday to this wonderful place. The property shows have set up camp in Las Americas. And you can’t watch Take Me Out on Saturday nights without seeing the beaches. And a friend of mine who works for the local BBC is flying out next

month to do a special for the telly, so it’s all good. The only downside to all of this publicity, though, is that it leaves me so depressed as I reflect on all the many wonderful and happy memories I have of living there. Six years of the best times, and by friends, will never leave me. And I suppose that’s where I’m missing a trick. Maybe I should speak to total strangers and tell them to get off their backsides and book a holiday to Tenerife! Maybe not! But when I’m asked about the place by friends and family who’ve never been, I never seem to stop for breath, talking about how good it is. So what if Z-Listers come over for the photo opportunities? Perhaps I’m a little hard on them (don’t be silly. I’ll always be hard on them). But it’s so good to see an end to the dreaded “Tenegrief ”, and a return to a place full of so much happiness, people and a fabulous future. Tenerife? It’s the one place at work that always makes me smile!

www.canarianweekly.com 31st January 2014 - 6th February 2014

SIX NATIONS UNDERWAY IN CARDIFF

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Guide

Don't Miss...

Saturday 1st February, BBC1 2pm: Wales v Italy (Cardiff) 4.30pm: France v England (Paris) TITLE-HOLDERS Wales launch Rugby Union’s 2014 Six Nations Championship against Italy tomorrow in Cardiff’s Millennium Stadium. Setting aside the t bruising battles with New Zealand, Australia and South Africa, these are the most cherished matches for the home countries and Italy. And Wales will be going flatout to open their defence of the crown emphatically. But Italy aren’t the also-rans they used to be, just making up the numbers. In recent years, they have gone from strength to strength

and proved they can give any of their rivals a tough time by beating France last year. Wales have already suffered an early blow because skipper Sam Warburton has not fully recovered from a shoulder injury, even though he will be on the bench. Second-row Alun Wyn Jones leads the side, and Justin Tipuric takes Warburton’s place at open-side, with Rhys Priestland selected at fly-half. Coach Warren Gatland says: “We are looking for a good start. We started slowly last year and know we need to be ready from the off. Italy

started last year’s tournament with a win over France and they will be ready again, so we need to start well and build confidence and momentum.” Meanwhile, shock 2013 wooden spoonists France launch their bid for the title in Paris against old enemies England. Last season’s corresponding fixture saw England beat the French 23-13 in a bruising encounter at Twickenham. Wing Chris Ashton is set to be omitted from the England squad, and head coach Stuart Lancaster is expected to

hand a debut instead to 20-year-old Exeter wing Jack Nowell. And another inexperienced wing, Gloucester’s 23-year-old Jonny May, is likely to start on the other wing at the Stade de France. Lancaster, who has already proven to be a bold selector during his two years in charge of England, said: “If I feel they are ready, I will pick them.” BBC 1, which will be covering the entire tournament, will be in Dublin on Sunday from 2.30pm as Ireland and Scotland get their campaigns underway 30 minutes later.

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TV Guide

31st January 2014 - 6th February 2014

Friday Friday Frida 06:00 ............................Breakfast 09:15 ............................... Wanted Down Under 10:00 ................... Homes Under the Hammer 11:00 ................ The Sheriffs are Coming

06:00................. Homes Under the Hammer

06:00 ........................... Daybreak

07:00...................... The Sheriffs are Coming

09:25 ........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show

07:45 .........Helicopter Heroes Down Under

10:30 .................... This Morning

08:15 ...........Paul Hollywood’s Pies and Puds

11:30 .................... This Morning

11:45 ...........Helicopter Heroes Down Under

09:00 ........Cold War, Hot Jets

12:15.................... Bargain Hunt

10:00 ...............Question Time

13:00........... BBC News at One

11:00 ........................BBC News

13:30 ......... BBC London News

11:30 ...........BBC World News

13:45 .............................. Doctors

12:00 .......... The Daily Politics

14:10.................... Father Brown

13:00 ....................Britain’s First Photo Album

15:00.......................... Perfection 15:45.............................Escape to the Country 16:30................ Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 17:15............................ Pointless 18:00......... BBC News at Six 18:30 .... BBC London News 19:00............The One Show 19:30.................. A Question of Sport Sue Barker hosts the fast-paced sports quiz. Regular team captains Matt Dawson and Phil Tufnell are joined by Olympic heptathlete champion Denise Lewis, England batsman Mark Butcher, world champion canoeist David Florence and champion swimmer Mark Foster.

12:30 .................. Loose Women 13:30..............................ITV News and Weather 14:00 .........................Dickinson’s Real Deal 15:00 ............................. The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:00....... Britain’s Best Bakery 17:00 ..........................The Chase

14:15 ............The Great British Bake Off

18:00...... ITV News London

15:15 .................................Coast

18:30............. ITV News and Weather

16:15......................... Lost Land of the Tiger

19:00................ Emmerdale

17:15 .............................. Flog It!

19:30 ..... Coronation Street

18:00................. Eggheads

20:00 ....... The Martin Lewis Money Show

18:30 .............Great British Railway Journeys

20:30..... Coronation Street

19:00..... The Great Interior Design Challenge 20:30 ...... An Island Parish

David finds himself the focus of someone’s attentions, but will he be tempted? The Carters are thrown when a member of the family turns up out of the blue. And Masood continues on his downward spiral, but will he find a way out?

11:25............................ ITV News

13:30 ........... Cash in the Attic

20:00 .............Mastermind

20:00................. EastEnders

08:30...............................Lorraine

February brings freezing temperatures but unique opportunities to the islanders too: Mini McCusker leaps into the sea - as she does every day - on the high Spring Tide, while some hours later Dave Scott the shepherd takes the afternoon off with his wife Estelle to go ormering, the pursuit of a huge shellfish only findable on the low Spring Tide. The island is a-buzz with a forthcoming talent competition (‘Sark’s Got Talent’) in aid of charity, which sees a huge turnout and an eclectic range of acts, with children’s choirs, solo vocalists, stand up comedy and a man dressed as a chicken clucking the theme to Match of the Day. But away from all this, Methodist lay preacher Karen Le Mouton is juggling huge demands, as she seeks to clear the final hurdle to being accepted for ordination whilst her mother lies terminally ill at home.

21:00........Piers Morgan’s W C Life Stories choice Actor Martin Kemp joins Piers Morgan to look back over his extraordinary life and career. Martin found fame as the heartthrob bass player in Spandau Ballet before going on to star in EastEnders and The Krays. He talks about the brain tumours that nearly killed him and reveals that his friend George Michael helped him with everything from finding a wife to landing his TV soap role. Martin also opens up about his beloved parents who died within a few days of each other and how their passing prompted Spandau Ballet to reform.

22:00................ ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:35............The Americans

22:35................ The Graham Norton Show

21:00 ..........Natural World

23:25 .......... Football Focus

22:00 ..............................QI

Cold War drama series following two KGB agents posing as Americans. Elizabeth and Phillip are kidnapped by someone who knows they are agents and are pushed to their physical and mental limits to reveal covert information. Have the FBI finally discovered their identity? In the absence of their parents, Paige and Henry get into a potentially dangerous situation. Beeman uses Nina to set up Vasili big time.

22:30 ............... Newsnight

23:35 ...................Benidorm

20:30.................. Room 101 21:00........Silent Witness

ch oi ce

22:00........ BBC News at Ten 22:25 .... BBC London News

W C choice

Piers Morgan’s Life Stories ITV1, 21.00

Martin Kemp joins Piers Morgan to look back over his extraordinary life and career. Martin found fame as the heart-throb bass player in the hit band, Spandau Ballet, before going on to star in EastEnders and The Krays. He tells of the brain tumours that nearly killed him and reveals that his friend George Michael helped him with everything from finding a wife to landing his TV soap role. Martin opens up about his beloved parents who died within a few days of each other and how their passing prompted Spandau Ballet to reform when the band had a combined age of 246.

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

31st January 2014 - 6th February 2014

ay Friday Friday 31st January 06:25 ...................... Countdown

06:00.........................Children’s TV

07:10 ................. Will and Grace

08:30 ............................. Milkshake! Show Songs

06:00 ........................Emmerdale

06:10 .....................Real Rescues

06:00 ............................... Switched

06:25 ........................Emmerdale

07:00........................ MasterChef Australia

06:25 .............................Ugly Betty

08:00 .............Everybody Loves Raymond

08:35... Toby’s Travelling Circus

09:00................................. Frasier

08:50......... Bananas in Pyjamas

07:45 ........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show USA

10:00...Secret Millionaire USA

09:00 ............................Tickety Toc

11:00 ................... Sarah Beeny’s Selling Houses

09:15................. The Wright Stuff

08:30...................... Dinner Date

12:00 .............. Channel 4 News Summary

12:10............ 5 News Lunchtime

11:15.......... The Hotel Inspector

06:55 .....You’ve Been Framed!

09:30 ..... The Real Housewives of Atlanta 11:30 ..................The Millionaire Matchmaker

08:00.............. The Hairy Bikers: Mums Know Best 09:00 ................................The Bill 10:00 ................................The Bill 11:00...................... Doctor Who 12:00........................... Babylon 5 13:00........................ MasterChef Australia

07:10 ............................... Charmed 08:00 ......................................... Glee 09:00 ......Rules of Engagement 09:30 ......Rules of Engagement 10:00 ................Made in Chelsea 11:00 ............................... Charmed 12:00 ......Rules of Engagement

12:05 ...... Come Dine with Me

12:15 ....................Ultimate Police Interceptors

14:10.......... A Place in the Sun

12:30 ........................Emmerdale

13:15................ Home and Away

15:10 ...................... Countdown

13:00 ........................Emmerdale

13:45 ..........................Neighbours

16:00 ...............Deal or No Deal

13:30 .....You’ve Been Framed!

14:15 ...................... The Mentalist

17:00 ...... Come Dine with Me

15:15............................ Angels Fall

14:00...The Jeremy Kyle Show

15:00................. Fantasy Homes by the Sea

17:30 .........................Coach Trip

17:00........................... 5 News at 5

16:10 ..... The Real Housewives of Orange County

16:00...................... Doctor Who

16:00 ..............................The Jump

17:00........................... Babylon 5

17:00...How I Met Your Mother

18:00 .......... Home and Away

17:05 ..................The Millionaire Matchmaker

18:00 ...The Big Bang Theory

18:30................Newstalk Live

18:00 ............... Dinner Date

18:00 ....... The Hairy Bikers: Mums Know Best

19:00 ..................... Hollyoaks

19:00.... Building the London Underground

19:00 ......................... You’ve Been Framed!

19:00................ MasterChef Australia

19:30 ......................How I Met Your Mother

20:00......... Ice Road Truckers

20:00 .................... Sky Cops

20:00... Two and a Half Men

20:00 .......................... The Big Bang Theory

22:50.....Brooklyn Nine-Nine

21:00 ............ Ben Fogle: New Lives in the Wild

21:00................. The Bourne Supremacy

23:20 ........................ Saw IV

22:00 ......................The Siege

23:15 .............. Take Me Out

06:00................... Luton Airport

06:00 ................................. RSPCA Animal Rescue

07:10 ...................Megatruckers

07:00........ Nothing to Declare

18:00 ............The Simpsons 18:30 .................. Hollyoaks 19:00 ........ Channel 4 News 20:00 .... Jamie and Jimmy’s Friday Night Feast 21:00 ...................The Jump 22:00...........The Last Leg

ch oi ce

06:30 ...................Luton Airport 07:00......... Last Man Standing 08:00........................... Futurama 08:30........................... Futurama 09:00 ................... Hawaii Five-0 10:00 .......... NCIS: Los Angeles 11:00 .......... NCIS: Los Angeles 14:00 ................... Hawaii Five-0

17:30.......................... Neighbours

08:00................................. Maury 10:00.............. Obese: A Year to Save My Life USA 11:00................ Four Weddings 12:00 ............. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

21:00 ................ Traffic Cops 22:00 ................ Traffic Cops

13:00 ..............................How I Met Your Mother 14:00 ....... The Big Bang Theory 15:00 ................Made in Chelsea

20:30................. 2 Broke Girls

23:00 ........... Cars, Cops and Criminals

21:00...Terminator Salvation

07:35 ...................Megatruckers

06:00...........................The Devil’s Dinner Party

08:00........... The Gadget Show

07:00........................ Cleverdicks

09:00 .............................Top Gear

08:00........Star Trek: Enterprise

06:00 .................................Cricket 09:30 .......... Football’s Greatest International Teams 10:00 .............................Copa Del Rey Football 11:00 .............. Barclays Premier League World 11:30........... Football’s Greatest International Teams 12:00 ............................. Ringside 13:00............... The Rugby Club 14:00 ..................FL72 - Preview 15:00... Copa Del Rey Football 16:00 ............................. Ringside 17:00.................. FL72 - Preview 18:00..... Football’s Greatest International Teams 18:30 ........Barclays Premier League Preview 19:00 ................The Fantasy Football Club 20:00...... Deadline Day Live

10:00............................. Top Gear 11:00 ...................Megatruckers 12:00....................... Trawlermen 13:00 .............................Top Gear

14:00 ................Criminal Minds

14:00..............................Top Gear

16:00 ...........................Futurama

16:00 ................................. RSPCA Animal Rescue

15:00................... Megatruckers

17:00 .................. The Simpsons

17:00 .................Inside Gatwick

17:30 ................Modern Family

17:00............................. Top Gear

18:00... Nothing to Declare

18:30 ............The Simpsons

19:00 ............ Megatruckers

19:00 ...... My Kitchen Rules

20:00 ..........Modern Family

20:00 ................. CSI: Miami

20:00 ........................... Suits

21:00 ..........................Stella

21:00.......... Criminal Minds

22:00 ................A League of Their Own

22:00 ........CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

22:00 ..........Mock the Week

23:00................ A League of Their Own

23:00 ........CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

23:20 ................................QI

15:00......... Last Man Standing

14:00 ........ Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

12:30 .............................. Hollyoaks

16:00........................Trawlermen

21:00 .... Dynamo: Magician Impossible 22:40 ..........Mock the Week

09:00 .......................Blue Bloods 10:00....... Star Trek: Enterprise 11:00................... Stargate SG-1 12:00....................... Blue Bloods 13:00.................................. House 14:00 ..................................House 15:00....................... Blue Bloods 16:00....... Star Trek: Enterprise 17:00 ................... Stargate SG-1 18:00 .........................House 19:00 .........................House 20:00 ............... Blue Bloods 21:00 ....................Weight of the Nation 22:35.................... Mad Men 23:35.................... Mad Men

23:15..................... Rude Tube

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W C choice Silent Witness ITV1, 21:00

Forensic crime drama series. Jack’s world is blown apart by the discovery of Hannah’s dead body. Nikki uncovers the truth behind Jack and Ryan’s strained relationship, but Jack’s attempts to find evidence put his job at risk. While an angry Thomas wrestles with hiring forensic scientist Helen as Jack’s permanent replacement, Dr Christy Nash fears for his marriage and business when DI Carter learns of his relationship with 15-year-old Katie.

The Last Leg Channel 4, 22:00

The award-winning gang show returns live to Friday nights with a joyful, offbeat take on the week. Returning as host is 2013 British Comedy Award winner Adam Hills and co-hosts Josh Widdicombe and Alex Brooker. The trio take a look at the weird and wonderful talking points of the week including the stories and highlights from the Sochi 2014 Winter Olympic and Paralympic Games. Each week, Adam, Josh and Alex are joined by a live studio audience and a weekly special celebrity guest. The show also sees the return of the all-encompassing question: Is It OK?

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www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

31st January 2014 - 6th February 2014

Saturday Saturday S 06:00.............................Breakfast

06:00 ............. This is BBC Two

06:00..................... Pat and Stan

10:00............................. Saturday Kitchen Live

06:35............ Enchanted April

06:10 ..................... Pat and Stan

07:40.................... The Maggie

06:20 ..................... Pat and Stan

11:30 ............... Food and Drink

09:10 ...................Life on Earth

06:25 ............................Dino Dan

12:00 .................Football Focus

10:05....................Life on Earth

06:40............................ Dino Dan

12:45 .......Saturday Sportsday

11:00 ..................Fred Dibnah’s Made in Britain

06:50............................. Canimals

11:30.................... Great British Railway Journeys

07:05 ............................ Canimals

12:00 ................... The A to Z of TV Cooking

07:15 ...................................Sooty

13:00.......................... BBC News 13:10 ......... BBC London News 13:15 ....................Bargain Hunt 14:00 .........................Six Nations Rugby Union Wales v Italy. Jason Mohammad presents live coverage from the Millennium Stadium as defending Six Nations champions Wales kick off the 2014 competition by taking on Italy. 2013 was a vintage year for Welsh rugby union, with several members of their victorious Six Nations squad going on to play instrumental roles in the British and Irish Lions’ series victory over Australia. Will 2014 also be a successful year for captain Sam Warburton, BBC Sports Personality of the Year runner-up Leigh Halfpenny and company? Commentary comes from Andrew Cotter and Jonathan Davies, while Martyn Williams and Shane Williams offer expert opinion from the studio.

16:30...................Six Nations CW Rugby Union choice 18:55 .................. BBC News 19:05..... BBC London News 19:10 ............. The Voice UK Emma Willis and Marvin Humes present the fourth round of blind auditions in the singing competition, as Sir Tom Jones, will.i.am, Ricky Wilson and Kylie Minogue continue to build their talented teams based solely on vocal ability and their own musical intuition. Competing to secure the best voices, each coach has the power to change someone’s career with the push of a single button. For those that gain a coveted place on one of the four teams, this is just the beginning over the coming weeks they will be personally trained and mentored by their superstar coach, until one artist is named The Voice UK.

20:30 .............. The National Lottery: Who Dares Wins 21:20 .....................Casualty 22:10 .................. BBC News 22:30....... Match of the Day 23:55 ...............The Football League Show

12:45 .............The Good Cook 13:15 ................. The Big Bread Experiment 14:15 ...........Anchors Aweigh 16:30 ...................... Final Score 17:15 .................................Coast London to Antwerp. A journey around the British Isles and beyond to see how shared seas unite us all. The latest adventure begins in the historic heart of London, continues along the south coast of England and out across the channel to explore the curious coast of Belgium. Nick Crane discovers why the world’s biggest cargo ships are on course for London as he joins the struggle to construct a new mega-port as a gateway to the capital. Nick’s epic new voyage then takes a strange turn as he crosses the channel to Belgium. He rides one of the longest tramways in the world, the Kusttram, which runs the entire length of Belgium’s coastline and also hunts down a forgotten masterpiece of Surrealist artist Rene Magritte.

18:00 ..........Natural World 19:00 ......................Flog It! Members of the public try to make money out of their antiques by taking a risk at auction. Paul Martin and the Flog It team have descended on the good people of Warminster. Led by experts Kate Bliss and David Fletcher, the team are on hand to give the locals their expert opinions on all their antiques and collectibles, but will their valuations stack up when the items go under the hammer?

07:00 ............................ Canimals 07:10 ..............Om Nom Stories 07:30........................ Scrambled! 09:25 ............................ITV News 09:30 ...................... Dinner Date 10:30 ......... Murder, She Wrote 11:30 .............................ITV News and Weather 11:45 ................... The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 12:40.............................. Charade 14:50 ........ Midsomer Murders When a farmer is found horribly murdered in the middle of a stone circle, suspicion points at a group of druids. DCI John Barnaby and DS Jones hurry to the scene of the crime, where they are joined by new pathologist Kate Wilding on her first assignment. Druid high priest Leticia Clifford shows Barnaby that sacred ley lines run through the stone circle and later is convinced she has made an exciting discovery. But before she can share her theory, she is stabbed to death. When a third body is found, Barnaby starts to believe that basic human greed - rather than spiritualism - is the real motive for murder.

16:50 ................ Johnny English 18:25...... ITV News London 18:35............. ITV News and Weather 18:50 ....................... Splash! 20:20 .............. Take Me Out 21:35 ............. The Jonathan Ross Show

20:30 .........................QI XL

Jonathan welcomes more A-list guests from the worlds of film, television and music to his funfilled chat show. This week’s guests are film stars Goldie Hawn and Liam Neeson, singer and reality TV star Peter Andre and singing sensation Pixie Lott, who performs live in the studio.

21:15 .....................Made in Dagenham

22:35............. ITV News and Weather

23:00....................... Tennis

22:50.......... Bloody Sunday

20:00 .............. Dad’s Army

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

31st January 2014 - 6th February 2014

Saturday Saturday 1st February 06:10......................... The Hoobs

06:00..................... Children’s TV

07:00 ............Transworld Sport

07:35 ................Bert and Ernie’s Great Adventures

08:00 ...........The Morning Line 09:00 .............Everybody Loves Raymond

07:40 ................. City of Friends

09:30 .................................Frasier

08:05 ............... The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky

10:00 .....The Big Bang Theory 11:00 .......................... How I Met Your Mother

07:55 ...................Little Princess

06:00..........................Beauty and the Geek

06:15 .......... Helicopter Heroes

06:00 ......................... Ugly Betty

08:00................................ The Bill

06:50 ........................... Charmed

06:45 ....................The Hot Desk

09:00................................ The Bill

06:55 ............Coronation Street Omnibus

07:35..................................... Glee

10:00................................ The Bill

08:30.......... The Mindy Project

11:00 ................................The Bill

09:00 .......................... How I Met Your Mother

09:20 ........................ Emmerdale Omnibus 12:45 ................................. Honey

17:00 ...... Come Dine with Me

10:00 .........................Bewitched

17:25 ...... Come Dine with Me

12:00 ........................Blue Streak

Musical drama. Dance teacher Honey lives in a tough neighbourhood and dreams of the big time which may come her way when she is offered a break by a music video director. But the director’s motives are not altogether altruistic and the fame Honey craves may come at too high a price. Director: Bille Woodruff Starring: Jessica Alba, Lil’ Romeo, Mekhi Phifer, David Moscow, Zachary Williams, Joy Bryant

18:00... Come Dine with Me

13:45 ...........Diagnosis Murder

14:35 ............................Peter Pan

18:30......... Channel 4 News

14:45 ............... Columbo: Make Me a Perfect Murder

16:45 .....You’ve Been Framed!

16:45 ........................... Columbo

17:45 ......You’ve Been Framed! Kids Special

12:00................... The Simpsons 12:35........................ Undercover Boss USA 13:30 ........... Channel 4 Racing 15:55...... Come Dine with Me 16:25 ...... Come Dine with Me

19:00..................Speed with Guy Martin

08:25 ..........Angelina Ballerina 08:45...................... Rupert Bear 09:00 ................ Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 09:15........................ Jelly Jamm 09:30 .......................... LazyTown

20:00.............. Bigfoot Files

18:40 .......5 News Weekend

21:00 ................... Hostages

18:45 ........................... NCIS

CoiWce 20:30 ............ War on Terror 22:00.......................Priest ch 22:10 ............. The Contract 23:45 ..........28 Weeks Later

06:00 .....................................Glee 08:00 ....................... The Fantasy Football Club 09:00 .............Sky Sports Game Changers 10:00 .......................Soccer A.M. 12:00 ...............World Wrestling Entertainment Superstars 13:00 ...................Ashley Banjo’s Big Town Dance 14:00 ................................Sinbad 15:00 ...........................Futurama 16:00 .................The Armstrong Lie Special 16:30 ................Modern Family 17:00......... Greggs: More Than Meats the Pie 18:00 .......... Harrow: A Very British School 19:00 ............The Simpsons 20:00.......... Modern Family 21:00................ A League of Their Own

W C choice

06:00 ........Nothing to Declare 06:30 ........Nothing to Declare 08:00... RSPCA Animal Rescue 08:30... RSPCA Animal Rescue 11:00...............Obese: A Year to Save My Life USA 12:00 .............. Obese: A Year to Save My Life USA 13:00 .............. Obese: A Year to Save My Life USA 14:00 ............My Kitchen Rules 15:00 ...................The Face USA 16:00........ Nothing to Declare 16:30 ........Nothing to Declare 18:00 ... Nothing to Declare 20:00 ........CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 21:00......................... Bones 23:00 ........CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

17:15 .....You’ve Been Framed!

18:50 ..... Miss Congeniality 21:00.... Quantum of Solace 23:10 ............... The Magaluf Weekender

07:15 .......................... Meat Men 08:05 .............................Top Gear 10:00.............. Storage Hunters 11:00 ............................. Flip Men 11:30 ............................. Flip Men 12:00.......... Lizard Lick Towing 13:00 .............................Top Gear 15:00...............Storage Hunters 16:00.......... Lizard Lick Towing 17:00 .............................Top Gear 18:00..... Dynamo: Magician Impossible 19:00........ Storage Hunters 20:00 ................Have I Got a Bit More News for You 21:00 ........Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 22:00 ........Russell Howard’s Good News 23:00 ........Russell Howard’s Good News

Six Nations Rugby Union BBC1, 16:30 France v England. John Inverdale and studio guests Sir Clive Woodward, Jeremy Guscott and Thomas Castaignede are at the Stade de France as France and England get their 2014 Six Nations tournaments underway. Both countries suffered disappointment in 2013; England’s 30-3 record defeat to Wales on the final weekend saw them not only miss out on the Six Nations title but also the Grand Slam. France began the 2013 competition as tournament favourites but ended it with the wooden spoon, their first since 1969. England have a good recent record against Les Blues, winning six of their last eight meetings, including three of their last four at the Stade de France. Eddie Butler and Brian Moore provide the commentary.

12:00...................... 50 Things to Eat Before You Die 13:00 ............................Escape to the Country 14:00 ............................Escape to the Country 15:00............................ Escape to the Country 16:00 ....................... Traffic Cops 16:35....................... Traffic Cops 17:50 ....................... Traffic Cops 19:00..... Dynamo: Magician Impossible 20:00 .... Dynamo: Magician Impossible 21:00 .............. Men in Black Sci-fi comedy with Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith. They’re the titular heroes - agents who regulate the aliens who have settled on Earth, ensuring they remain undetected.

10:00 ... Rules of Engagement 12:30.......... The Mindy Project 13:00..... The Big Bang Theory 14:00.......................... How I Met Your Mother 15:00 ... Rules of Engagement 16:00 .......................... The Jump 17:00 .......... Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. 18:00 .......... How I Met Your Mother 19:00 ....................... The Big Bang Theory 20:00 ........... The Tomorrow People 21:00................ John Tucker Must Die 22:50.................. Rude Tube

23:00 ........The Happenings

23:50... The Midnight Beast

06:00 ...........The Devil’s Dinner Party

06:00................... Football Gold

07:00 ...............The Guest Wing

06:30 ............................. Ringside

08:00 .............................. Seinfeld

07:30 .............. Barclays Premier League Preview

09:00 ......... Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations 10:00 ......... Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations 12:00 ..........Kingdom of Plants 13:00.......... Kingdom of Plants 15:00 .......................Blue Bloods 16:00 .......................Blue Bloods 17:00 .......................Blue Bloods 18:00.. Star Trek: Enterprise 20:00......................... Smash 21:00............ The Following 22:00 ......................Looking 22:35 ............................Girls 23:10................ This is Jinsy 23:40 ............ The Sopranos

06:15 ................... Football Gold

08:00 ....................... The Fantasy Football Club John Fendley, Paul Merson and special guests from the worlds of sport and showbiz take a lighthearted look at fantasy football and the weekend’s Barclays Premier League matches.

09:00.............. Game Changers 10:00....................... Soccer A.M. 12:00 ............................FL72 Live 14:30 .................Saturday Night Football: Team Talk 15:00 .................. Gillette Soccer Saturday 18:00 ..................... Football 20:00 ................ Fight Night 23:30 ........................... FL72

25 CW

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Priest Channel 4, 22:00

Paul Bettany, Cam Gigandet and Maggie Q star in Scott Stewart’s violent fantasy action-thriller, which pits vampires against humans in a post-apocalyptic world. The outbreak, hundreds of years ago, of a war between humans and a species of vampiric creatures led to humanity taking refuge in fortresses, protected and ruled over by The Church, a theocracy underpinned by an innately gifted warriorclass of demon-killers called Priests. Now, the war is deemed over; humans mostly continue to live within the walls, the vampires have been banished to reservations and the Priests have had their authority to kill at will withdrawn. But, on learning that his niece has been abducted, one Priest abandons his obedience to The Church and sets out to either rescue her or, if she has been infected, kill her. He’s joined on his quest by a wasteland sheriff and a rogue Priestess, who both have links to Priest’s past.

CW 26

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

31st January 2014 - 6th February 2014

Sunday Sunday Sund 06:00 ............................Breakfast

06:00 ............. This is BBC Two

06:00..................... Pat and Stan

07:30............ Match of the Day

06:05..............The Whip Hand

06:10...................... Pat and Stan

09:00 .......................The Andrew Marr Show

07:25 .......... I’m All Right Jack

06:20 ..................... Pat and Stan

09:10..................... Countryfile

06:25............................ Dino Dan

10:00 ..........The Big Questions

10:05 ...........Saturday Kitchen Best Bites

06:40............................ Dino Dan

11:35 ................... The A to Z of TV Cooking

07:00............................ Canimals

11:00.................Sunday Politics 12:15.................... MOTD2 Extra 13:00 ..........................BBC News 13:15 ....................Bargain Hunt 13:45 ..........The Indian Doctor 14:30 .........................Six Nations Rugby Union 17:00 ................Songs of Praise 17:35 ..........................BBC News 17:50 ......... BBC London News 18:00 .......Fake or Fortune? Art series with Fiona Bruce and expert Philip Mould. The Fake or Fortune team plunge into the murky world of the Russian art market when they investigate a painting attributed to modern master Marc Chagall. The picture surfaced in Russia after the fall of communism and was sold at a fraction of its full value, but it had not been fully authenticated by the Chagall Committee in Paris. The search for clues leads Fiona to Chagall’s hometown of Vitebsk in the former Russian republic of Belarus, where she makes connections between the painting and the artist’s life story, but events take a more sinister turn when Fiona discovers a news report about the sale of a fake Chagall in the city of Minsk. Philip travels to Los Angeles to consult a notorious forger of Chagall’s work, and everything hinges on a test to determine the date of a suspicious pigment. When the dust settles, the owner of the piece is left with a difficult decision.

12:20............. The Good Cook 12:50............. The Good Cook 13:20....................... Funny Girl 15:45.......................... Escape to the Country 16:45.....................The Olympic Journey: Inspire 17:15...................... Ski Sunday Skiing magazine show. Graham Bell and Ed Leigh present the final episode of Ski Sunday from the Austrian ski resort of Schladming where the feature race is the spectacular men’s night slalom. Host to the 2013 World Championships, the Schladming crowd were delighted to see home favourite Marcel Hirscher claim gold on his way to his second overall World Cup crown. The Austrian will be hopeful of more of the same this year but compatriot Mario Matt is the man to beat this season in this final World Cup Slalom before the Winter Olympics. Ed Leigh catches up with reigning snowboard half-pipe gold medallist Torah Bright from Australia who is hoping to break records in Sochi in three different snowboard disciplines.

18:00 ...............Dan Snow’s History of the Winter Olympics 19:00 ......................Flog It!

19:00 ................ Countryfile

20:00 .................. Top Gear

20:00........ Call the Midwife

21:00 ...........Dragons’ Den

21:00......... The Musketeers 22:00................... BBC News 22:15 .... BBC London News 22:25............A Tribute to CW Roger Lloyd Pack choice 22:35 .................. Only Fools and Horses 23:10 ..... Who Do You Think You Are? USA 23:50............. Breaking and Entering

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Series in which budding entrepreneurs pitch business ideas to multimillionaires. A former Team GB triathlete pitches an innovative sports recovery drink, a tech savvy entrepreneur presents his taxi-booking app and one London based businessman raises some eyebrows with his bespoke male contraceptive solution.

22:00 ................. The Route Masters: Running London’s Roads 23:00....................... Tennis

06:50............................ Canimals 07:05............................ Canimals 07:10.............. Om Nom Stories 07:15 ...................................Sooty 07:30 ........................Scrambled! 09:25 .........................Dickinson’s Real Deal 10:20 ............................... Murder, She Wrote 11:20 .............................ITV News and Weather 11:25 ........................... Inside the National Trust 12:25 ................... The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 13:25 ..................... Catchphrase 14:10 ................................ Splash! 15:40 .........................Goldfinger 17:50 ........... ITV News London 18:00 ............. ITV News and Weather 18:15 ...........Dancing on Ice Phillip Schofield and Christine Bleakley host the fifth week of competition as the eight remaining stars take part in The Duel. The paired up celebrities battle it out against each other and it is up to the Ice Panel to decide which star gets a free pass to next week. The loser must skate again in a self-choreographed number in order to impress the viewers. Olympic legends Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean provide rink-side insight and there is a spectacular professional opening performance.

19:45 ............All Star Family Fortunes 20:30 ...........Dancing on Ice 21:00 ...............Mr Selfridge 22:00............. ITV News and Weather 22:15 ....................... Birds of a Feather 22:45 ........... Piers Morgan’s Life Stories 23:45 ...... Rugby Highlights

A Tribute to Roger Lloyd Pack BBC1, 22:25 A tribute to the star of stage and screen who will always be remembered as The Vicar of Dibley’s Owen and the deadpan Trigger from Only Fools and Horses.

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

31st January 2014 - 6th February 2014

day Sunday Sunday 2nd February 06:10 ........................ The Hoobs

06:00..................... Children’s TV

06:00..... Beauty and the Geek

06:10 ...................... Doctor Who

06:00........................... Switched

07:00............. Everybody Loves Raymond

08:40....................... Rupert Bear

07:25.....Emmerdale Omnibus

07:00 ...................... Doctor Who

06:25......................... Ugly Betty

07:25 .................................Frasier

08:55 ................ Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom

10:50 ............Coronation Street Omnibus

08:00....... Hollywood Treasure

07:10........................... Charmed

08:25 ........................... The Taste

09:05 .........Milkshake Monkey

09:00 .......Hollywood Treasure

07:55 ... Rules of Engagement

13:20 ..................... Take Me Out

09:30 ................Sunday Brunch

09:15 ........................Jelly Jamm

10:00 ...................... Doctor Who

08:25 ... Rules of Engagement

14:35..... You’ve Been Framed!

12:30 ................................The Big Bang Theory

09:30 .......................... LazyTown

11:00 ...................... Doctor Who

15:05 ................................ Dennis

10:00 ................Power Rangers: Super Samurai

12:00 ...................... Doctor Who

08:55 .......................... How I Met Your Mother

16:55 .................Despicable Me

13:00....................... Doctor Who

09:55....... Hollyoaks Omnibus

18:50 ....The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

14:00............................ The Truth about Killer Dinosaurs

12:30 ............................ Revenge 13:30 .....The Big Bang Theory

21:00............... The Magaluf Weekender

15:00............... The Truth about Killer Dinosaurs

15:30.......................... How I Met Your Mother

16:00 ......... Dynamo: Magician Impossible

16:00.......... Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

17:00......... Dynamo: Magician Impossible

17:00....................................... The Tomorrow People

13:00 ................................The Big Bang Theory 13:25 .......................... How I Met Your Mother 13:55.......................... How I Met Your Mother

10:35 ................Power Rangers: Megaforce 11:00 .................................Access

14:25.................. The Simpsons

11:10 ..............................Building the London Underground

14:55 .................. The Simpsons

12:10 ........... Ice Road Truckers

15:30 ................................Eragon

13:10 .....Ben Fogle: New Lives in the Wild

21:00................... The Jump

18:55 .......5 News Weekend

22:30 ........ The Super Bowl: American Football Live

19:00 .........Arachnophobia 21:00......... Drag Me to Hell 22:55 ................. The Matrix

Reality show following revellers on holiday in the notorious resort of Magaluf. Cameras follow the antics of two groups of holidaymakers and their four colourful resort reps - Jordan, Imogen, Tobi and Ali. Arriving at the Lively Hotel resort this time are Brighton girls Dani, Jasmine and Maddie, followed by self-confessed geeks Tom, Harry and Mike. Man-eater Maddie wastes no time in making a beeline for rep Jordan, but fellow rep Tobi could just turn her head as he makes a play for her during their first night out. Meanwhile, Jordan and Ali’s tryst earlier in the series continues to cause tension - should they come clean to head rep Imogen?

06:00 .........The Hour of Power

06:00 ........Nothing to Declare

07:10.......................... Hardliners

07:00 .....................................Glee

06:30........ Nothing to Declare

09:00 ......... Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit Special

07:00........ Nothing to Declare 07:30........ Nothing to Declare

17:30 ...............Deal or No Deal 18:30........ Channel 4 News 19:00.... Jamie and Jimmy’s Friday Night Feast 20:00..........Scandimania

ch oi ce

09:30 ......................... The Bolton Majorettes 10:00 ...............World Wrestling Entertainment Superstars 11:00 ............ WWE Experience 12:00 ................................Sinbad 13:00........................... Futurama 14:00 ................Modern Family 16:30 .................. The Simpsons 17:00........... Ashley Banjo’s Big Town Dance 18:00............. Irish Dancers 18:30 ............The Simpsons 21:00 ............ Hawaii Five-0 22:00 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles 23:00 .....................Banshee

14:10 .........Police Interceptors 15:10 .............Doctor Dolittle 2 16:50 ......Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

08:00 .. RSPCA Animal Rescue 09:00 .....Sports Women Week 09:30... RSPCA Animal Rescue 11:00 ...................The Face USA 12:00 ............My Kitchen Rules 13:00 ..............UK Border Force 16:00 .................Inside Gatwick 17:00 ........Nothing to Declare 17:30 ........Nothing to Declare 18:00 ... Nothing to Declare 18:30 ... Nothing to Declare

18:00 .... Dynamo: Magician Impossible 19:00 .... Dynamo: Magician Impossible 20:00 .............. Men in Black 22:00 .... Dynamo: Magician Impossible 23:00 .... Dynamo: Magician Impossible

18:30........................ The Big Bang Theory 19:00........................ The Big Bang Theory 20:00... The Addams Family 22:00.................. Rude Tube 23:00......... 8 Out of 10 Cats

08:00 .............................Top Gear

06:00 .................Saturday Night Football: Match Choice

10:00....................... Man v Food

07:00 .............................. Seinfeld

07:30 .............. Game Changers

11:00 ......................... Red Dwarf

07:30.............................. Seinfeld

08:30..................................... FL72

12:20 .......................... Have I Got News for You

08:00......... Friday Night Lights

09:00 ........................The Sunday Supplement

13:00 .............................Top Gear 14:00 .............................Top Gear 15:00......... Dynamo: Magician Impossible 16:00 .......................Man v Food 17:00 .............................Top Gear

09:00............................ Team Sky: Road to Glory

10:30 .............Goals on Sunday

11:00 ......... Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations

Chris Kamara and Ben Shephard present a round-up of the latest football news and goals, with guests on hand to analyse all the main talking point. Tweet your questions @GoalsOnSunday.

13:00 ...................Urban Secrets

12:30 .........Ford Super Sunday

10:00 ......... Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations

18:00.................. Red Dwarf

14:00......... Networks of Power

19:20....................Have I Got News for You

17:00 .......Star Trek: Enterprise

15:00 .......................Blue Bloods 18:00.....Star Trek: Enterprise

20:00................ Have I Got a Bit More News for You

21:00 ........ Obese: A Year to Save My Life USA

20:00 ..................Petrol Age

22:00 ..........Mock the Week

21:00 .......Game of Thrones

23:20 ................Have I Got a Bit More News for You

22:15 .......Game of Thrones

23:00 ........ Caribbean Cops

18:00..................... Brooklyn Nine-Nine

06:00 ....................The Mortified Sessions

20:00............. Harley Street

22:00 ........ Grey’s Anatomy

14:00..... The Big Bang Theory

23:30 .......Game of Thrones

West Bromwich Albion v Liverpool. West Bromwich Albion welcome Liverpool to the Hawthorns for this Barclays Premier League clash. The Reds were convincing winners when the teams met earlier in the season.

15:30 .........Ford Super Sunday 18:30 ..................... Football 20:00...................... Football 22:00 .... American Football

27 CW

W C choice

Scandimania Channel 4, 20:00

Sweden, Denmark and Norway have been officially voted the happiest countries in the world, and in this new series Hugh FearnleyWhittingstall is off to find out why. He starts his adventure in Sweden, arriving at Ekstedt restaurant in Stockholm, where everything is cooked over a wood burning fire. Over 70% of Sweden is covered in forest and the Swedes love to spend time in the outdoors, so Hugh flies north to Ume? to join an Elk hunt. Hugh cooks the hunters elk liver for dinner. In Gothenburg, he sees an IKEA ‘flatpack house’ being assembled in just one morning. He meets a group of stay-athome Dads. Hugh visits the ABBA museum and meets Bjorn Ulvaeus, one of the men behind the music, who explains the concept of ‘lagom’ - which means ‘just enough’, and sums up how Swedes approach life. But is the ‘Swedish model’ of equality and prosperity at risk? Hugh visits the set of the country’s number one sitcom, which mocks the materialistic aspirations of a new breed of wealthy citizens.

CW 28

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TV Guide

W C choice

31st January 2014 - 6th February 2014

Monday Monday Mon 06:00 ............................Breakfast 09:15 .................. Wanted Down Under Revisited 10:00 ................... Homes Under the Hammer 11:00 ....................... The Sheriffs are Coming 11:45 .......................... Saints and Scroungers 12:15.................... Bargain Hunt

DCI Banks ITV1, 21:00 Return of the gritty detective series based on the novels by Peter Robinson. When a man and a woman claiming to be social workers come to Katy Heath’s house and tell her that they need to take away her son Kyle, Katy complies. But when they fail to return her son and are unknown by social services, DCI Alan Banks is quickly drawn into a fullscale search for the missing boy. Why has Kyle been abducted and what are the chances that he can be found alive? When a search of Katy’s house reveals a drugs connection and different witnesses - including Kyle’s father - begin to contradict Katy’s version of events, even Banks begins to question the veracity of Katy’s story. Banks pushes DI Helen Morton to get close to Katy, but in the face of problems with her own son, the proximity to Kyle’s mother only appears to destabilise the detective. Meanwhile, returning from maternity leave to join the investigation, DS Annie Cabbot believes she has found a credible suspect for Kyle’s abduction at his school. Yet to Annie’s frustration, Banks appears to be distancing himself from her. With the search becoming ever more desperate, Banks must find a way to reconcile his colleagues conflicting attitudes to children and parenthood, before the hunt for Kyle is too late.

13:00 ............BBC News at One 13:30 ......... BBC London News 13:45 .............................. Doctors 14:15 ...............................WPC 56 15:00 ......................... Perfection 15:45 ............................Escape to the Country 16:30 ............... Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is Two well-known experts from the world of antiques go head-tohead over a week of challenges, buying and selling collectables to raise money for a charity of their choice. Eric Knowles takes on Catherine Southon at the Ardingly Antiques and Collectors Fair in West Sussex. Eric aims to avoid the porcelain and Catherine takes to the ice. But in their hunt for the best antiques, who will make the most profit?

06:05 ................. Homes Under the Hammer

06:00 ........................... Daybreak

07:05 ..................... The Sheriffs are Coming

09:25 ........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show

07:50 .........Helicopter Heroes Down Under

10:30 .................... This Morning

08:20.................... The A to Z of TV Cooking

11:30 .................... This Morning

09:05............... Ben and James Versus the Arabian Desert 10:05 ............... Britain’s Empty Homes 10:35 .................................. Click 11:00 ........................BBC News 11:30 ...........BBC World News 12:00 .......... The Daily Politics 13:00 ....................Britain’s First Photo Album 13:30........... Cash in the Attic 14:15.......................... The Great British Bake Off 15:15 .................................Coast 16:15 .................... Lost Land of the Tiger 17:15 .............................. Flog It! 18:00 .................Eggheads

17:15............................ Pointless

18:30 .... Great Continental Railway Journeys

18:00......... BBC News at Six

19:00 .................. Top Gear

18:30 .... BBC London News

20:00..................University Challenge

19:00 ...........The One Show 19:30 ..................Inside Out

20:30 ....... Food and Drink

Educating North Korea. Reporter Chris Rogers travels to the heart of North Korea, where a university paid for by the west is attempting to open the minds of the secretive state’s future elite. With unprecedented access to this unusual academic institution, which is educating the sons of the brutal regime, Panorama spends time living with them on campus and asks: can the class of 2014 help to bring the hermit nation in from the cold?

Chef Michel Roux Jr and drinks expert Kate Goodman return for another series highlighting British food as well as current trends, nostalgic classics and recipes from around the world. Tom Kerridge joins Michel in the kitchen and creates a meal for just £2 a head. Tom and Michel demonstrate that you can spend less and eat well without sacrificing flavour, and Kate reveals the hidden costs in bargain basement bottles of booze, plus there is lively debate about whether it is possible to eat well on a very small budget.

21:00 ....Britain’s Great War

21:00 .................... Horizon

20:00 ................ EastEnders 20:30 ..................Panorama

22:00 ....... BBC News at Ten 22:25 .... BBC London News 22:35.... Match of the Day 2 23:40 ............... The Graham Norton Show

22:00 ..............................QI 22:30 ............... Newsnight 23:20 ................ The Coffee Trail with Simon Reeve

08:30 ..............................Lorraine

11:25.............................ITV News 12:30 .................. Loose Women 13:30............................. ITV News and Weather 14:00 .........................Dickinson’s Real Deal 15:00 ............................. The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:00....... Britain’s Best Bakery 17:00.......................... The Chase 18:00...... ITV News London 18:30............. ITV News and Weather 19:00 ................ Emmerdale 19:30..... Coronation Street 20:00 ............ A Great Welsh Adventure with Griff Rhys Jones Series in which Griff Rhys Jones explores some of the most beautiful and enchanting parts of Wales. Griff wakes up in a tree house in the middle of an ancient wood and discovers that his challenge this time is to find the Holy Grail! In a land of myth, mystery and hidden treasures he tries his hand at panning for gold before meeting a modern myth maker who runs an old cinema. In Aberdyfi at the mouth of the River Dyfi, Griff begins to unravel the legend of Cantre’r Gwaelod - the Welsh Atlantis that reputedly lay in the Bay of Cardigan. The discovery of a petrified forest only stimulates his interest, but it is in Aberystwyth that Griff finally learns about the legend of the Holy Grail of Nanteos.

20:30..... Coronation Street

21:00...............DCI Banks CW

ch oi ce

22:00................ ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:35 .......Mickey Blue Eyes

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TV Guide

31st January 2014 - 6th February 2014

nday Monday Monday 3rd February 06:15......... The Treacle People 06:25...................... Countdown 07:10................. Will and Grace 08:00 .............Everybody Loves Raymond 09:00 .................................Frasier 10:00 ............. Undercover Boss Canada 11:00 ................... Sarah Beeny’s Selling Houses 12:05 ........... Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals 12:35 ...... Come Dine with Me 15:10 ...................... Countdown 16:00 ...............Deal or No Deal 17:00 ...... Come Dine with Me 17:30 .........................Coach Trip 18:00 ............The Simpsons 18:30 .................. Hollyoaks 19:00 ........ Channel 4 News 20:00.............Dispatches CWce ch oi W 20:30..Food Unwrapped Coi ch ce 21:00 ...................The Jump 22:30 .......Three Wives, One Husband: Married to the Mormons

06:00................... Luton Airport

06:00..................... Children’s TV

06:00 ........................Emmerdale 06:25 ...........Coronation Street 07:25 .....You’ve Been Framed! 07:45......................... The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 08:30 ...................... Dinner Date 09:30 ..... The Real Housewives of Atlanta 11:30.................. The Millionaire Matchmaker 12:30 ........................Emmerdale 13:00 ...........Coronation Street 14:00...The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:10 ..... The Real Housewives of Orange County 17:05.................. The Millionaire Matchmaker 18:00................ Dinner Date 19:00 ...You’ve Been Framed! 20:00 .. Two and a Half Men 21:00 ...........................Mom 21:30 ........................... Dads 22:00................. The Job Lot 22:30 .......................... Plebs 23:00 ..............ake Reaction 23:50... Two and a Half Men

06:10 ................ Fantasy Homes by the Sea

06:00 ......................... Ugly Betty

07:00 .....MasterChef Australia

07:35 .....................................Glee

08:00.............. The Hairy Bikers: Mums Know Best

08:25 ... Rules of Engagement

23:00............ Frozen Planet

22:00 ..... The Running Man

06:00... RSPCA Animal Rescue

07:10 ..............Storage Hunters

06:00 ..........................The Devil’s Dinner Party 07:00 .............Thirtysomething 08:00 .......Star Trek: Enterprise 09:00 .......................Blue Bloods 10:00 .......Star Trek: Enterprise 11:00 ................... Stargate SG-1 12:00 .......................Blue Bloods 13:00 ..................................House 15:00....................... Blue Bloods 16:00....... Star Trek: Enterprise 17:00 ................... Stargate SG-1 18:00......................... House 20:00.... Friday Night Lights 21:00 .........................Falcón 22:00 ............................Girls 22:35 ......................Looking 23:10 ...............Funny or Die Presents 23:45 ................... Curb Your Enthusiasm

06:00 ..................Good Morning Sports Fans 07:00 ..................Good Morning Sports Fans 09:00 .....Ford Football Special 10:30 ....................Spanish Gold 10:45 ....................Spanish Gold 11:00 ................................ La Liga 12:00 ....................Spanish Gold 12:15 ....................Spanish Gold 13:00 .....Ford Football Special 14:30 ................................ La Liga 15:30........................ The Fantasy Football Club 16:00 .............. Game Changers 17:00 ..................... Soccer A.M. The Best Bits 18:00............. FL72 - Review 19:00.... Ford Monday Night Football 23:00............. FL72 - Review

08:45 .......Bananas in Pyjamas 09:00........................ Tickety Toc 09:15 ..............The Wright Stuff 11:10 .......The Hotel Inspector 12:10 .........5 News Lunchtime 12:15 ......................Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead 13:15 .............Home and Away 13:45 ...................... Neighbours 14:15 .................................... NCIS 15:15 ...................... The Mystery of Natalie Wood 17:00 .......................5 News at 5 17:30 ...................... Neighbours 18:00 ........Home and Away 18:30 ............Newstalk Live 19:00 ................. Go Hard or Go Home 20:00.... Police Interceptors 21:00 ........ The Big Benefits Row: Live 22:00........................... Helix 23:00 ......Starship Troopers 3: Marauder

06:30 ...................Luton Airport

07:00 ........Nothing to Declare

07:35.............. Storage Hunters

07:00......... Last Man Standing

08:00 ................................. Maury

08:00....................... Man v Food

08:00 ...........................Futurama

09:00 ................................. Maury

08:30 .......................Man v Food

08:30 ...........................Futurama

10:00 .............. Obese: A Year to Save My Life USA

09:00 .............................Top Gear

09:00.................... Hawaii Five-0 10:00.......... NCIS: Los Angeles

11:00 ................Four Weddings

11:00.............. Storage Hunters

14:00 ................... Hawaii Five-0

12:00 ............. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

12:00........................Man v Food

14:00 ................Criminal Minds

15:00 ..............Storage Hunters

15:00......... Last Man Standing 16:00........................... Futurama 17:00 .................. The Simpsons 17:30 ................Modern Family 18:00 ..........Modern Family 18:30 ............The Simpsons 19:00 ............The Simpsons 20:00 ..........Modern Family 21:00 ..........................Stella

15:00 ................Criminal Minds 16:00... RSPCA Animal Rescue 17:00 .................Inside Gatwick 18:00 ... Nothing to Declare 18:30 ... Nothing to Declare 20:00 .........................Bones 21:00 ......... Criminal Minds

22:00 ................... Football’s Funniest Moments

22:00........ CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

23:00..................... Banshee

23:00 .........................Bones

10:00............................. Top Gear

13:00 .............................Top Gear 16:00 .......................Man v Food 17:00 .............................Top Gear 19:00 ........Storage Hunters 20:00 ...........................QI XL 21:00 ...........................QI XL 22:00 ....Would I Lie to You? 22:40 ........Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 23:40 ...................Alexander Armstrong’s Big Ask

06:50 ........................... Charmed

09:00 ................................The Bill

09:25 .......................... How I Met Your Mother

10:00 ................................The Bill

09:55 .............Made in Chelsea

11:00 ...................... Doctor Who

11:00........................... Charmed

12:00........................... Babylon 5

12:00... Rules of Engagement

13:00..... MasterChef Australia

12:30 ...........................Hollyoaks

14:00........ Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

13:00 .......................... How I Met Your Mother

15:00................ Fantasy Homes by the Sea

14:00 .....The Big Bang Theory

16:00 ...................... Doctor Who 17:00 ...........................Babylon 5 18:00 ....... The Hairy Bikers: Mums Know Best 19:00................ MasterChef Australia 20:00..... Dynamo: Magician Impossible 21:00 ........... Derren Brown: Messiah 22:00 ........The Happenings

15:00 .............Made in Chelsea 16:00 .......................... The Jump 17:30 .......................... How I Met Your Mother 18:00... The Big Bang Theory 19:00 .................. Hollyoaks 19:30 ...................How I Met Your Mother 20:00.....Brooklyn Nine-Nine 20:30 ..............2 Broke Girls 21:00 .................... Revenge

29 CW

W C choice

Dispatches Channel 4, 20:00

The floods that recently hit Britain have caused misery for thousands, but do you know what’s actually in the flood water that has engulfed our towns and streets? Channel 4 Dispatches meets homeowners unlucky enough to have found raw sewage in their gardens, basements and even kitchens. And this is not a rare event. Twenty-five years after water privatisation, reporter Antony Barnett investigates the state of our sewers and asks why prices have risen so fast while investment in our old pipes hasn’t materialised. And it’s not just homes; Dispatches can exclusively reveal the huge number of major sewage leaks into our nation’s rivers and streams.

Food Unwrapped Channel 4, 20:30

Jimmy Doherty, Kate Quilton and Matt Tebbutt lift the lid on what’s really in the food we eat. Jimmy finds out whether we should be eating cod or not and asks if there’s enough in the sea to go round. He visits Iceland to discover why they supply most of the cod in our supermarkets, instead of British cod. Is Iceland’s cod better?

CW 30

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TV Guide

W C choice

31st January 2014 - 6th February 2014

Tuesday Tuesday T 06:00 ............................Breakfast 09:15 .................. Wanted Down Under Revisited

09:25 ........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show

11:00................ The Sheriffs are Coming

09:05 .................... Great British Garden Revival

11:45.......................... Saints and Scroungers

10:05 ............... Britain’s Empty Homes

12:15 ....................Bargain Hunt

10:35........................ HARDtalk

13:00 ............BBC News at One

11:00 ........................BBC News

13:30 ......... BBC London News

12:00 .......... The Daily Politics

13:45.............................. Doctors

13:00 ....................Britain’s First Photo Album

15:45 ............................Escape to the Country

“Registration is a great leveller whether you’re a prince or a pauper; everybody has to use the service.” Alison Cathcart, Superintendent Registrar Westminster register office is the most famous in the UK, as the backdrop to the key points in the lives of iconic British figures from royalty to politics to show business. Based, until recently, in Old Marylebone Town Hall, it holds the birth, death and marriage records for a huge array of famous names such as Joan Collins, Brooklyn Beckham, Winston Churchill and Margaret Thatcher as well as generations of the Royal family. It is the rock and roll wedding venue of choice; Paul McCartney and Liam Gallagher have both been married there (twice) and it is one of the most popular wedding venues in the country. Thousands of marriages are registered there every year. For the series, cameras were granted full access behind the scenes to capture a unique insight into the full spectrum of real life human drama that is the every day work of the team at Marylebone. Produced by Wall To Wall Media (makers of popular ITV series Long Lost Family), Births, Deaths and Marriages features the office’s dedicated staff, led by head registrar Alison Cathcart, guiding people from all backgrounds through the often intensely emotional process of recording the fundamental events in their lives and revealing how they approach their work and how it shapes their views on human nature and our society. From offering an insight into the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge registering the birth of Prince George last summer, to a young couple frantically press-ganging random strangers off the street to bear witness to their wedding and the tragedy of young parents registering the death of their baby a fortnight after recording its birth. The series focuses on the incredible range of human stories which play out in the register office. In the first episode, Head Registrar Alison Cathcart, who registered Prince George’s birth, conducts a wedding for couple Hollie, 27, and Simon, 41 who have no witnesses so have to pluck two willing volunteers from outside the town hall. They have a separate party planned but have come to complete the official ceremony. Alison has been a registrar for 22 years and has conducted around 5000 weddings. Despite a large number of people divorcing nowadays, the registrars at Westminster have not noticed a decline in the number of weddings. Alison says: “We see people getting married the second, third time, it’s not that uncommon - people want love in their lives and, they want to celebrate the fact that they found it. Whether they’ve done it two or three times before doesn’t necessarily matter.” Although the numbers of weddings taking place hasn’t decreased, the registrars have noticed that the reasons people get married has changed. Registrar Tommy Hanover presides over the wedding of couple Jennifer, 40, and Dave, 45, who have been together for 10 years before deciding to tie the knot at Old Marylebone Town Hall. He says: “I think one of the main reasons that people choose to get married these days is purely love - because they don’t have to. There’s no societal obligation or no legal obligation or financial obligation to get married. Why else would you do it, it’s purely emotional.” One of the biggest changes for registration was the introduction of civil partnerships in 2005. Patricia Gordon, a registrar for 28 years, reveals how her views of changed. She says: “I was brought up to believe marriage is between a man and a woman. Before I met Tommy I, this might sound horrible, but I wouldn’t entertain a gay person. Meeting Tommy has changed a lot of my ways, possibly attitude. Tommy made me understand that a gay person is just an ordinary person.

07:50...Saints and Scroungers 08:20 ................... The A to Z of TV Cooking

15:00 ......................... Perfection

ITV1, 21.00

06:00 ........................... Daybreak

10:00 ................... Homes Under the Hammer

14:15 ...............................WPC 56

Births Deaths and Marriages

07:05 ..................... The Sheriffs are Coming

16:30 ............... Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 17:15 ............................ Pointless 18:00......... BBC News at Six 18:30 .... BBC London News 19:00 ...........The One Show 19:30................. EastEnders 20:00.................. Holby City 21:00..Death in Paradise

ch oi ce

22:00........ BBC News at Ten 22:25 .... BBC London News

22:35 ................The Richard Dimbleby Lecture 2014 23:20 ......... Away From Her

W C choice

13:30............ Cash in the Attic 14:15 ............The Great British Bake Off 15:15 .................................Coast 16:15 .................... Lost Land of the Jaguar 17:15.............................. Flog It! 18:00 .................Eggheads 18:30..... Great Continental Railway Journeys 19:00..... The Great Interior Design Challenge 20:00...................Children’s Emergency Rescue 21:00.................. Inside the Animal Mind 22:00 .........House of Fools 22:30 ............... Newsnight 23:20 ...........Dragons’ Den

08:30.............................. Lorraine

10:30 .................... This Morning 11:25............................ ITV News 11:30.................... This Morning 12:30.................. Loose Women 13:30 .............................ITV News and Weather 14:00 .........................Dickinson’s Real Deal 15:00.............................. The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:00 ................................Britain’s Best Bakery 17:00.......................... The Chase 18:00...... ITV News London 18:30 ............. ITV News and Weather 19:00................. Emmerdale 19:30 .......... River Monsters 20:00.......Celebrity Who CW Wants to be choice a Millionaire? 21:00........Births, Deaths CW and Marriages choice 22:00................ ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:35..... Sports Life Stories 23:35............. The Crocodile Hunter Diaries

Death In Paradise BBC1, 21.00

In the fourth episode of the new series, DI Goodman and the team are called to a hotel to investigate the death of air stewardess Natasha Thiebert, who appears to have been poisoned during the crew’s overnight stay on the island. With a lack of evidence as to how Natasha was killed, the team is left to question all of her colleagues, including suave flight attendant Adam Frost and gambling addict Paul Bevans. With so many suspects and so little to go on, the team finds it tricky to link a strong-enough motive to any of the potential culprits. Frustrated, Dwayne goes rogue to pursue his own line of enquiry and see if the answer lies further afield. Is hotel receptionist Simone Magon more involved than they previously thought?

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TV Guide

31st January 2014 - 6th February 2014

Tuesday Tuesday 4th February 06:15 .........The Treacle People 06:25...................... Countdown 07:10 ................. Will and Grace 08:00 .............Everybody Loves Raymond 09:00 .................................Frasier 10:00 ............. Undercover Boss Canada 11:00 ................... Sarah Beeny’s Selling Houses 12:05 ...........................Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals 12:35 ...... Come Dine with Me 15:10 ...................... Countdown 16:00 ...............Deal or No Deal 17:00 ...... Come Dine with Me 17:30......................... Coach Trip 18:00............ The Simpsons 18:30 .................. Hollyoaks 19:00 ........ Channel 4 News 20:00.... Location, Location, Location CoiWce 21:00................The Taste ch 22:00............. Secrets of the Pickpockets 23:00....... The Undateables

06:00..................... Children’s TV

06:00 ........................Emmerdale

09:15 ..............The Wright Stuff

06:25 ...........Coronation Street

11:10 .......The Hotel Inspector

06:55 ...........Coronation Street

06:00................... Luton Airport

06:00... RSPCA Animal Rescue

07:10 ..............Storage Hunters

07:00......... Last Man Standing

07:00.........Nothing to Declare

08:00 ...........................Futurama 09:00................... Hawaii Five-0 10:00 .......... NCIS: Los Angeles 11:00 .......... NCIS: Los Angeles 14:00 ................... Hawaii Five-0 15:00 .........Last Man Standing 16:00 ...........................Futurama 16:30 ...........................Futurama 17:00 .................. The Simpsons 17:30................ Modern Family 18:00 ..........Modern Family 18:30 ............The Simpsons 20:00 ............ Hawaii Five-0 21:00 ................ Ross Kemp: Extreme World 22:00 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles 23:00 ................A League of Their Own

06:10 ................ Fantasy Homes by the Sea

06:00.......................... Ugly Betty

07:00 .....MasterChef Australia

07:35 .....................................Glee

08:00 ..............The Hairy Bikers: Mums Know Best

08:30 ... Rules of Engagement

12:10..........5 News Lunchtime

07:25..... You’ve Been Framed!

12:15 ............................. Ultimate Emergency Bikers

07:45......................... The Jeremy Kyle Show USA

13:15 .............Home and Away

08:30 ...................... Dinner Date

11:00 ...................... Doctor Who

13:45 ...................... Neighbours 14:15 .................................... NCIS

09:30 ..... The Real Housewives of Atlanta

13:00 .....MasterChef Australia

15:15 ................. The Mystery of Natalie Wood

10:30 ..... The Real Housewives of Orange County

14:00 ........ Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

17:00 .......................5 News at 5 17:30 ...................... Neighbours

11:30.................. The Millionaire Matchmaker

15:00 ................ Fantasy Homes by the Sea

18:00 ........Home and Away

12:30 ........................Emmerdale

18:30 ....................... The Big Benefits Row

13:00 ...........Coronation Street

19:00...... The Dog Rescuers

16:10..... The Real Housewives of Orange County

19:30..................... Highland Emergency 20:00........ Gibraltar: Britain in the Sun

14:00...The Jeremy Kyle Show

17:05 ..................The Millionaire Matchmaker 18:00................ Dinner Date

21:00........ She’s 78, He’s 39: Age Gap Love

19:00....You’ve Been Framed!

22:00 ..........Law and Order: Special Victims Unit

21:00.... Quantum of Solace

20:00... Two and a Half Men

09:00 ................................The Bill 12:00 ...........................Babylon 5

06:50........................... Charmed

09:30...How I Met Your Mother 10:00 .............................New Girl 10:30 ..........The Mindy Project 11:00 ........................... Charmed 12:00... Rules of Engagement 12:30 ...........................Hollyoaks 13:00...How I Met Your Mother 14:00 .....The Big Bang Theory

16:00....................... Doctor Who

15:00 .............................New Girl

17:00 ............................. abylon 5

15:30.......... The Mindy Project

18:00........ The Hairy Bikers: Mums Know Best

16:00 .......................... The Jump

19:00................ MasterChef Australia

18:00....The Big Bang Theory

20:00..... Who Do You Think You Are? USA

19:30 ...................How I Met Your Mother

21:00 ............ Frozen Planet 22:00 ............Nature’s Great Events

17:35...How I Met Your Mother 19:00 .................. Hollyoaks

20:00 .....Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

23:00..... Dynamo: Magician Impossible

22:20 ................. Rude Tube

07:35 ..............Storage Hunters

06:00.......................... The Devil’s Dinner Party

06:00 ..................Good Morning Sports Fans

08:00.................................. Maury

08:00 .......................Man v Food

07:00 .............Thirtysomething

10:00 .............. Obese: A Year to Save My Life USA

08:30 .......................Man v Food

08:00 .......Star Trek: Enterprise

07:00 ..................Good Morning Sports Fans

09:00 .............................Top Gear

09:00....................... Blue Bloods

11:00 ................Four Weddings

10:00 .............................Top Gear

10:00....... Star Trek: Enterprise

12:00 ............. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

11:00 ..............Storage Hunters

11:00 ................... Stargate SG-1

13:00 ............. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

12:00 .......................Man v Food

12:00....................... Blue Bloods

12:30 .......................Man v Food

13:00.................................. House

13:00 .............................Top Gear

14:00.................................. House

14:00 .............................Top Gear

15:00....................... Blue Bloods

15:00 ..............Storage Hunters

16:00....... Star Trek: Enterprise

16:00 .......................Man v Food

17:00 ................... Stargate SG-1

17:00 .............................Top Gear

18:00......................... House

19:00 ..................... Flip Men

19:00......................... House

18:00..... Football’s Greatest International Teams

20:00 ........Storage Hunters

20:00............ Urban Secrets

18:30...... Revista de la Liga

21:00 ...........................QI XL

21:00 ........................ Awake

19:30 ....... Live Coppa Italia

22:00 ..........Mock the Week

22:00 ............The Following

22:00 ...... Revista de la Liga

23:20 .......... Never Mind the Buzzcocks

23:00 .................. Spartacus: Vengeance

23:00 ........Barclays Premier League Review

23:00.............Body of Proof

14:00 ................Criminal Minds 15:00 ................Criminal Minds 16:00... RSPCA Animal Rescue 17:00..................Inside Gatwick 18:00.... Nothing to Declare 18:30.... Nothing to Declare 20:00....... My Kitchen Rules 21:00........................... Signs 22:50..........................Bones 23:50......... Caribbean Cops

23:10........................ Tricked

23:20 ........ 8 Out of 10 Cats

09:00 ........ Ford Monday Night Football 11:30 ................SPFL Round Up 12:00 ...................FL72 - Review 13:00 ........ Ford Monday Night Football 15:30 ................SPFL Round Up 16:00 ...................FL72 - Review 17:00 .............. Barclays Premier League Review

31 CW

W C choice Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? ITV1, 20.00

Celebrity contestants James Nesbitt & Dom Joly, Sir Chris Hoy & Kevin Bridges, and Dave Myers & Rachel Riley will attempt to win that magical million in the final ever Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Celebrity Special. Not only are the celebrities playing for their favourite charities, they are also playing for the viewer at home, one of whom can take home half the money won on this week’s show.

The Taste Channel 4, 21:00

This time the cooks keep it in the family as they take recipes passed down through the generations and turn them into food fit for Anthony, Ludo and Nigella. Emotions run high as the contestants try to make their mums, dads, grandparents and godparents proud. But, as always after the blind tastings, somebody must head home. Guest chef is Ruth Rogers, who sets the immunity challenge.

CW 32

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

31st January 2014 - 6th February 2014

Wednesday 06:00 ............................Breakfast 09:15 .................. Wanted Down Under Revisited 10:00................... Homes Under the Hammer 11:00 ................ The Sheriffs are Coming 11:45.. Saints and Scroungers 12:15 ....................Bargain Hunt 13:00........... BBC News at One 13:30 ......... BBC London News 13:45 .............................. Doctors

Wednesd

06:00................. Homes Under the Hammer

06:00 ........................... Daybreak

07:00 ..................... The Sheriffs are Coming

09:25 ........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show

07:45 ........................ Saints and Scroungers

10:30.................... This Morning

08:15 ................... The A to Z of TV Cooking

11:30 .................... This Morning

09:00 .............................Nature’s Weirdest Events 10:00 ...................Rip Off Food 10:30 .......................... See Hear 11:00 ........................BBC News

08:30 ..............................Lorraine

11:25............................ ITV News 12:30 .................. Loose Women 13:30............................. ITV News and Weather 14:00 .........................Dickinson’s Real Deal

11:30.......... The Daily Politics

15:00.............................. The Alan Titchmarsh Show

15:45 ............................Escape to the Country

13:00 ....................Britain’s First Photo Album

16:00................................ Britain’s Best Bakery

16:30.. Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is

13:30 ........... Cash in the Attic

14:15 ...............................WPC 56 15:00 ......................... Perfection

17:15............................ Pointless

14:15 ......................... The Great British Bake Off

18:00 ........ BBC News at Six

15:15................................. Coast

19:00............The One Show

16:10 .................... Lost Land of the Jaguar

20:00 .......... Waterloo Road 21:00 ........... Outnumbered Sitcom following the hectic lives of the Brockman family. Karen indulges her competitive instincts, Ben delves into the mysteries of human psychology and Jake appoints himself as a parenting expert. Meanwhile, Mum falls victim to a dysfunctional printer and Dad is hounded by a vigilant Daily Mail reader.

21:30 .....Mrs. Brown’s Boys Comedy series about a loudmouthed Irish matriarch and her family. Agnes is upset that her son Trevor has been called back to the missions in Africa, but is determined to give him a massive send-off to remind him what a loving family he has back home in Ireland. Meanwhile, daughter Cathy’s family counselling session descends into chaos, and Buster and Dermot run into trouble with a circus lion. The only person having a good day is neighbour Winnie: thanks to his new medication, her husband Jackos’s libido is back. But while Winnie delights in reminiscing about her former bedroom antics, Agnes makes a shocking discovery.

22:00 ....... BBC News at Ten 22:35 ................. A Question of Sport 23:05 ...................Film 2014 23:35.............. The Matador

17:10 .............................. Flog It! 17:55 ..................Party Political Broadcast by the Liberal Democrats 18:00 .................Eggheads 18:30 .... Great Continental Railway Journeys 19:00 .... The Great Interior Design Challenge Architectural historian Tom Dyckhoff presents the series searching for untapped interior design talent, judged by interior designers Sophie Robinson and Daniel Hopwood. This time the stakes are raised as each amateur interior designer is given a grand Georgian house where they must redesign the hallway, front room, guest room and a child’s bedroom. It is a huge undertaking. The money has gone up to £4,400 and they now have 72 hours, the help of two builders and a decorator.

20:00 ........ The Restaurant Man

The competitive baking show is in the Home Counties today where a British traditionalist raises the bar with his bloomer loaf. A pair of young cake makers feel the heat making shortcrust pastry, and a perfectionist baker brings scientific precision to the competition. The task to bake some deceptively simple cottage rolls gives all the bakers a run for their money.

17:00 ..........................The Chase 18:00....... ITV News London 18:25 ............ Party Political Broadcast by the Liberal Democrats 18:30............. ITV News and Weather 19:00................ Emmerdale Declan makes Charity an offer she cannot refuse. Priya pushes herself too far. James’s feelings for Moira start to surface.

19:30 ..... Coronation Street 20:00 ... Midsomer Murders Crime drama series. When a body drops out of a plane and is discovered in a reservoir, Barnaby and Nelson find that the world of stunt pilots and aviation heroes hides many dark secrets. Are campaigners against the local airfield behind Bernard King’s murder or does it date back to a tragic story from the Second World War?

21:00........Royal Cousins W C at War choice 22:00................ ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:00............... Inside No 9 22:30 ............... Newsnight 23:20 ................. Inside the Animal Mind

22:35 ............. The Jonathan Ross Show 23:40 ....................The Cube

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

31st January 2014 - 6th February 2014

day

Wednesday

5th

06:15 .........The Treacle People

06:00..................... Children’s TV

06:00........................ Emmerdale

06:25 ...................... Countdown

09:00........................ Tickety Toc

06:25 ................Holiday Airport

07:10 ................. Will and Grace

09:15 ..............The Wright Stuff

07:25 .....You’ve Been Framed!

08:00 .............Everybody Loves Raymond

11:10 .......The Hotel Inspector

07:45......................... The Jeremy Kyle Show USA

09:00 .................................Frasier 10:00 ............. Undercover Boss Canada 11:00 ................... Sarah Beeny’s Selling Houses 12:00 ..............Channel 4 News 12:05 ...........................Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals 12:35 ...... Come Dine with Me 15:10...................... Countdown 16:00 ...............Deal or No Deal 17:00 ...... Come Dine with Me 17:30 .........................Coach Trip 18:00 ............The Simpsons 18:30................... Hollyoaks 19:00........ Channel 4 News 20:00... The Restoration Man 21:00... 24 Hours in A and E 22:00...................Hunted

ch oi ce

23:00 ......Don’t Look Down

06:00....................Luton Airport 06:30 ...................Luton Airport 07:00 .........Last Man Standing 07:30......... Last Man Standing 08:00........................... Futurama 08:30........................... Futurama 09:00 ................... Hawaii Five-0 10:00.......... NCIS: Los Angeles 14:00................... Hawaii Five-0 15:00......... Last Man Standing 16:00 ...........................Futurama 17:00 .................. The Simpsons 17:30 ................Modern Family 18:30 ............The Simpsons 20:00 ..... Ashley Banjo’s Big Town Dance 21:00 ............... The Kumars 22:00................ A League of Their Own 23:00................ A League of Their Own

12:10 .........5 News Lunchtime 12:15 ....................World’s Worst Holiday Horrors 13:15 .............Home and Away 13:45 ...................... Neighbours 14:15.................................... NCIS 15:15 ...............Chinese Food in Minutes 15:20 ..................... Prairie Fever 17:00....................... 5 News at 5 17:30....................... Neighbours 18:00........ Home and Away 18:30 ............Newstalk Live 19:00 ....Caught on Camera 20:00 .....................Ultimate Emergency Bikers

08:30...................... Dinner Date 09:30..... The Real Housewives of Atlanta

February

06:10 ................ Fantasy Homes by the Sea 07:00 ........................MasterChef Australia 08:00.............. The Hairy Bikers: Mums Know Best 09:00 ................................The Bill 10:00 ................................The Bill

11:30 ..................The Millionaire Matchmaker

11:00 ...................... Doctor Who

12:30 ........................Emmerdale

13:00 .....MasterChef Australia

13:00 ........................... The Cube

14:00 ........ Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

14:00...The Jeremy Kyle Show

12:00 ...........................Babylon 5

16:10 ..... The Real Housewives of Orange County

15:00................. Fantasy Homes by the Sea

17:05 ..................The Millionaire Matchmaker

16:00 ...................... Doctor Who 17:00 ...........................Babylon 5

18:00 ............... Dinner Date

18:00........ The Hairy Bikers: Mums Know Best

19:00.......................... You’ve Been Framed! 20:00... Two and a Half Men

19:00................ MasterChef Australia

21:00 ........................... NCIS

21:00....................Benidorm

20:00 ........................ Grimm

22:00 .............Sherlock: The First CSI

22:00................ The Magaluf Weekender

21:00 ........................ Grimm 22:00 ........The Happenings

23:00....................... The Big Benefits Row

23:05.............Fake Reaction

23:00 .............Stansted: The Inside Story

06:00... RSPCA Animal Rescue

06:00 ..............Home Shopping

07:00 ........Nothing to Declare

07:10 ..............Storage Hunters

06:00 ..........................The Devil’s Dinner Party

07:30 ........Nothing to Declare

07:35 ..............Storage Hunters

07:00 .............Thirtysomething

08:00................................. Maury

08:00............................. Flip Men

08:00....... Star Trek: Enterprise

09:00................................. Maury

08:30 ............................. Flip Men

09:00 .......................Blue Bloods

10:00................... Obese: A Year to Save My Life USA

09:00 .............................Top Gear

10:00 .......Star Trek: Enterprise

11:00 ..............Storage Hunters

11:00................... Stargate SG-1

11:00 ................Four Weddings

12:00 ............................. Flip Men

12:00 .......................Blue Bloods

12:00............. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

13:00 .............................Top Gear

13:00 ..................................House

15:00 ..............Storage Hunters

15:00 .......................Blue Bloods

16:00 ............................. Flip Men

16:00....... Star Trek: Enterprise

17:00 .............................Top Gear

17:00 ................... Stargate SG-1

19:00........ Storage Hunters

18:00 .........................House

20:00 ................Man v Food

20:00 .................... Mankind

21:00 .......... Have I Got a Bit More News for You

21:00 ......... Alan Partridge’s Mid-Morning Matters

22:00 .......... Russell Howard Live: Dingledodies

21:30 ......... Alan Partridge’s Mid-Morning Matters

23:30 ................. Dave’s One Night Stand

22:00................ This is Jinsy

13:00 ............. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 14:00 ................Criminal Minds 16:00... RSPCA Animal Rescue 17:00..................Inside Gatwick 18:00.... Nothing to Declare 20:00.........UK Border Force 21:00..........................Bones 22:00......... Grey’s Anatomy 23:00..........................Bones

23:50... Two and a Half Men

22:30 ................The Borgias

06:00 ........................... Switched 06:25 ..................................90210 07:10 ......................... Ugly Betty 08:00 ........................... Charmed 09:00 .....................................Glee 10:00 .............................New Girl 10:30 ..........The Mindy Project 11:00 ........................... Charmed 12:00 ... Rules of Engagement 12:30 ...........................Hollyoaks 13:05...How I Met Your Mother 14:05 .....The Big Bang Theory 15:00 .............................New Girl 15:30 ..........The Mindy Project 16:00 ... Rules of Engagement 17:00...How I Met Your Mother 18:00....The Big Bang Theory 19:00 .................. Hollyoaks 19:30 .......... How I Met Your Mother 20:00 ..........Rude(Ish) Tube 20:30....The Big Bang Theory 21:00 ........... The Tomorrow People 22:00............ Derren Brown 23:40... The Midnight Beast

06:00 ..................Good Morning Sports Fans 09:00............ Revista de la Liga 10:00 .......... Football’s Greatest International Teams 10:30 .....................Football Asia 11:00 .............. Barclays Premier League Review 12:00 .......... Football’s Greatest International Teams 12:30 .....................Football Asia 13:00 ............ Revista de la Liga 14:00 .............. Barclays Premier League Review 15:00 .......... Football’s Greatest International Teams 15:30 ............ Revista de la Liga 16:30 .............. Barclays Premier League Review 17:30 .......... Football’s Greatest International Teams 18:00 ............ Football Gold 21:30...... What’s the Story?

33 CW

W C choice Royal Cousins at War BBC2, 21:00

At the outbreak of the First World War three cousins reigned over Europe’s greatest powers - Tsar Nicholas II of Russia, Kaiser Wilhelm II of Germany and King George V of England. This looks at the role played by the three monarchs, and their relationships with each other, in the outbreak of war. The first episode tells the story of the emerging divisions and rivalries between the interrelated royal houses of Europe and features the little known story of the two Danish sisters, Princess Alexandra and Princess Dagmar, who had pulled off the dynastic coup of the 19th century by marrying the heirs to both the British and Russian thrones.

Hunted Channel 4, 22:00

On the eve of the Sochi Winter Olympics, Russia is officially welcoming gay athletes and spectators. But in a country where it’s thought only 1% of gay people dare to live completely openly, it appears to be a hollow gesture. This Dispatches film - directed by Ben Steele and presented Liz MacKean - has gained unique access to the vigilante gangs that target gay men and women.

CW 34

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

31st January 2014 - 6th February 2014

Thursday Thursday T 06:00 ............................Breakfast 09:15 .................. Wanted Down Under Revisited 10:00 ................... Homes Under the Hammer 11:00........................ The Sheriffs are Coming 11:45 .......................... Saints and Scroungers

06:05 ................. Homes Under the Hammer

06:00 ........................... Daybreak

07:05 ..................... The Sheriffs are Coming

09:25........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show

07:50........................ Saints and Scroungers

10:30 .................... This Morning

08:20 ................... The A to Z of TV Cooking

11:30..................... This Morning

09:05 ..............Italy Unpacked

08:30 ..............................Lorraine

11:25 ............................ITV News 12:30.................. Loose Women 13:30............................. ITV News and Weather

12:15 ....................Bargain Hunt

10:05................... Rip Off Food

13:00 ............BBC News at One

10:35........................ HARDtalk

13:30 ......... BBC London News

11:00 ........................BBC News

13:45 .............................. Doctors

11:30............BBC World News

14:15 ...............................WPC 56

12:00 .......... The Daily Politics

15:00 ......................... Perfection

13:00 ....................Britain’s First Photo Album

16:00 .......Britain’s Best Bakery

13:30........... Cash in the Attic

18:00...... ITV News London

14:15 ............The Great British Bake Off Masterclass

19:00 ................ Emmerdale

15:45.............................Escape to the Country 16:30 ............... Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 17:15 ............................ Pointless 18:00 ........ BBC News at Six 18:30..... BBC London News 19:00........... The One Show 19:30 ................ EastEnders 20:00 ..... Pound Shop Wars The Battle of the Bra. Documentary series following the competition between pound shop chains. When Poundworld’s biggest rival, Poundland, reduces all of its prices by 3p in East Ham, Poundworld CEO Chris Edwards retaliates by launching the £1 bra in the hopes of attracting more shoppers. Meanwhile, when the fairground comes to town, Chris and his 86-year-old mother Alice go along to meet up with relatives and friends. And Chris believes he needs to raise money to open more shops by cutting back on staff, while regional manager Craig thinks this is damaging customer service; Chris sends his cost-cutting expert Ian Hamilton onto the shop floor to check.

20:30...............Inspector George Gently

ch oi ce

22:00 ....... BBC News at Ten 22:25 .... BBC London News 22:35 ...........Question Time David Dimbleby presents the topical debate from Gillingham in Kent, with a panel including former Labour cabinet minister Dame Tessa Jowell MP and Respect MP George Galloway.

23:35 .................. This Week

W C choice

15:15 .................................Coast 16:15 .................... Lost Land of the Jaguar 17:15 .............................. Flog It! 18:00..................Eggheads 18:30..... Great Continental Railway Journeys 19:00 .................... Horizon 20:00 .............. Restoration Home One Year on 21:00 ...........Royal Cousins at War Into the Abyss. Two-part documentary looking at how Europe’s royal relatives ended up at war with each other. This looks at the realignment of the European powers and the emergence of the alliance system in the years following the death of Queen Victoria in 1901. It examines the key role played by royalty in smoothing the path to the Anglo-Russian entente of 1907, and at the part played by the Kaiser’s erratic, unstable personality in the growing isolation of Germany in the years leading up to 1914.

22:00..Charlie Brooker’s W C Weekly Wipe choice

14:00 .........................Dickinson’s Real Deal 15:00.............................. The Alan Titchmarsh Show 17:00 ..........................The Chase

19:30 ...................... Tonight 20:00 ................ Emmerdale 20:30 ......Birds of a Feather Essex-based sitcom about sisters Tracey and Sharon and their larger-than-life friend Dorien. Sharon’s estranged husband Chris gets in touch. The new woman in his life is Angie, who is friendly, vivacious and blind. Chris now wants a divorce from Sharon so they can get married, but Tracey has her doubts. Then, at Chris and Angie’s engagement party, Dorien meets a good-looking blind guy who takes a shine to her.

21:00................... Benidorm Madge is making the most of her last few days in the sun, while Janice frantically tries to contact her doctor back home. Mick finally takes the call and breaks the news of Madge’s diagnosis to the family. Michael reacts by heading to the beach with Tiger, who suggests that they hire a pedalo and take the pedalo hire girl with them. In search of calm elsewhere, Janice accompanies Tonya to a spa resort. Kenneth decides to go on a health drive, roping in Liam as his personal trainer. The Solana holds a Man v Food competition, and new assistant manager Cyril is keen to make sure that all the ingredients are as cheap as possible. The resulting hog roast means the competitors get a lot more than they bargained for.

22:30............... Newsnight

22:00 ......... ITV News at Ten

23:20 ...... Don’t Panic - The Truth About Population

23:35........ The Late Debate

22:35 ..... Exposure: Fashion Factories Undercover

Inspector George Gently: Gently Between The Lines BBC1, 20.30

Gently is shocked when he learns of Bacchus’ resignation and annoyed that John hasn’t told him directly. He visits Bacchus in the convalescent home where he has been recuperating and realises that his sergeant has lost his confidence. Still suffering his own mental and physical scars from the Cathedral, Gently sets about fixing Bacchus - by insisting that he helps him with a case while he serves out his notice. Gently has been tasked with investigating a death in custody. The death has taken place in police cells in Newcastle and was discovered by WPC Rachel Coles and reported to the station sergeant, Dawson. They say the victim was one of several people arrested after a street protest and had to be manhandled into the cells. His body shows signs of injury, but there isn’t yet a clear cause of death.

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TV Guide

31st January 2014 - 6th February 2014

Thursday Thursday 6th February 06:25 ...................... Countdown

06:00..................... Children’s TV

07:10................. Will and Grace

08:55 .........Milkshake Monkey

08:00 .............Everybody Loves Raymond

09:00 ........................ Tickety Toc

06:10................ Fantasy Homes by the Sea

23:55 ........................ Access

06:00 ........................Emmerdale 06:25 ...........Coronation Street 06:55 .....You’ve Been Framed! 07:45 ........................ The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 08:30 ...................... Dinner Date 09:30 ..... The Real Housewives of Atlanta 10:30 ..... The Real Housewives of Orange County 11:30.................. The Millionaire Matchmaker 12:30 ........................Emmerdale 13:00 ...........Coronation Street 13:30 .....You’ve Been Framed! 14:00...The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:10 ..... The Real Housewives of New Jersey 17:30....................... Dinner Date 18:30 ...You’ve Been Framed! 20:00... Two and a Half Men 21:00....The Big Reunion CWce ch oi 22:00 ............Fake Reaction 22:50........................... Mom 23:15 ........................... Dads 23:45 .. Two and a Half Men

23:00...... Rescue: Code One

06:00 ................ Rude(Ish) Tube 06:25 ..................................90210 07:10......................... Ugly Betty 08:00 ........................... Charmed 09:00......................................Glee 10:00 .............................New Girl 10:30 ..........The Mindy Project 11:00 ........................... Charmed 12:00 ... Rules of Engagement 12:30.......................... Hollyoaks 13:00 .. How I Met Your Mother 14:00 .....The Big Bang Theory 15:00 .............................New Girl 15:30 ..........The Mindy Project 16:00 ... Rules of Engagement 17:00 .. How I Met Your Mother 18:00....The Big Bang Theory 19:00................... Hollyoaks 19:30 ...The Big Bang Theory 20:00 .......... How I Met Your Mother 21:00.. Brooklyn Nine-Nine 21:30......The Inbetweeners 22:00... The Midnight Beast 22:35.............. The IT Crowd 23:05.................. Rude Tube

06:00................... Luton Airport

06:00.. RSPCA Animal Rescue

07:10.............. Storage Hunters

07:00 .........Last Man Standing

07:00 ........Nothing to Declare

07:35 ..............Storage Hunters

06:00 ..........................The Devil’s Dinner Party

06:00 ..................Good Morning Sports Fans

08:00 ...........................Futurama

08:00 ................................. Maury

08:00 .......................Man v Food

07:00............. Thirtysomething

08:30 ...........................Futurama

09:00 ................................. Maury

08:30 .......................Man v Food

08:00 .......Star Trek: Enterprise

07:00................. Good Morning Sports Fans

09:00 ................... Hawaii Five-0

10:00 .............. Obese: A Year to Save My Life USA

09:00 .............................Top Gear

09:00 .......................Blue Bloods

10:00............................. Top Gear

10:00....... Star Trek: Enterprise

11:00 ................Four Weddings

11:00.............. Storage Hunters

11:00................... Stargate SG-1

12:00 ............. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

12:00....................... Man v Food

12:00 .......................Blue Bloods

13:00............. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

13:00............................. Top Gear

13:00 ..................................House

15:00.............. Storage Hunters

15:00........................Blue Bloods

16:00....................... Man v Food

16:00....... Star Trek: Enterprise

17:00............................. Top Gear

17:00 ................... Stargate SG-1

18:00..................... Top Gear

18:00 .........................House

19:00 ........Storage Hunters

19:00 .........................House

20:00 ...........................QI XL

20:00 ............Urban Secrets

18:30 ........Barclays Premier League World

21:00 ........................... Suits

21:00........ Richard E Grant’s Hotel Secrets

19:00 .......................Premier League Darts

22:00 ............... Blue Bloods

22:30............ FL72 - Preview

22:55.......... Mock the Week

23:00 ............................Girls

23:35........................... QI XL

23:35...................... Looking

23:30 ........Barclays Premier League World

09:15...............The Wright Stuff

09:00 .................................Frasier

11:10 .......The Hotel Inspector

09:30 .................................Frasier

12:10 .........5 News Lunchtime

10:00 ....................... Undercover Boss Canada

12:15 ......Building the London Underground

11:00 ................... Sarah Beeny’s Selling Houses

13:15 .............Home and Away

12:05............................Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals

14:15 .................................... NCIS

12:35...... Come Dine with Me 15:10...................... Countdown 16:00 ...............Deal or No Deal 17:00 ...... Come Dine with Me 17:30 .........................Coach Trip 18:00............ The Simpsons 18:30................... Hollyoaks 19:00 ........ Channel 4 News 20:00 ................ Supersize v Superskinny 21:00.................... Big Ballet 22:00............ Bodyshockers 23:05......... My Baggy Body

10:00 .......... NCIS: Los Angeles 14:00 ................... Hawaii Five-0 15:00 .........Last Man Standing 16:00............................Futurama 17:00 .................. The Simpsons 17:30 ................Modern Family 18:30 ............The Simpsons 19:00 ............The Simpsons 20:00.......... Modern Family 20:30 ..........Modern Family 21:00 ........ An Idiot Abroad 22:00 ................ Ross Kemp: Extreme World 23:00 ................A League of Their Own

W C choice

13:45...................... Neighbours 15:15 .....................Mcbride: The Doctor is Out, Really Out 17:00 .......................5 News at 5 17:30 ...................... Neighbours 18:00 ........Home and Away 18:30 ............Newstalk Live 19:00 . Winter Road Rescue 20:00 .....................Help! I’m Snowtrapped 21:00...The Hotel Inspector 22:00........... Brain Hospital: Saving Lives 23:00 ....................... CSI: NY

14:00 ................Criminal Minds 16:00... RSPCA Animal Rescue 17:00 .................Inside Gatwick 18:00.... Nothing to Declare 18:30.... Nothing to Declare 20:00............. The Face USA 21:00...... My Kitchen Rules 22:00 ................. CSI: Miami 23:00 .........................Bones

22:00 .......... Have I Got a Bit More News for You

07:00..... MasterChef Australia 08:00 ..............The Hairy Bikers: Mums Know Best 09:00 ................................The Bill 11:00 ...................... Doctor Who 12:00 ...........................Babylon 5 13:00 .....MasterChef Australia 14:00......... Extreme Makeover: Home Edition 15:00 ................ Fantasy Homes by the Sea 16:00...................... Doctor Who 17:00 ...........................Babylon 5 18:00 ....... The Hairy Bikers: Mums Know Best 19:00................. MasterChef Australia 20:00 ........................ Grimm 21:00 .............Stansted: The Inside Story 22:00 .....Flights and Fights: Inside the Low Cost Airlines

09:00.......... JP Trophy Football 10:00 ................Premier League 100 Club 10:30................ Premier League 100 Club 11:30 ..........JP Trophy Football

35 CW

W C choice Charlie Brooker’s Weekly Wipe BBC2, 22:00

Charlie Brooker returns with his unique brand of satirical commentary, as he and his guests attempt to squeeze some fun from a troubled world. Whether it’s news or film, TV or Twitter, if it is making the agenda and is worth pointing a finger and laughing at, Charlie will tackle it. And if there is nothing else to tackle, then expect lengthy chunks on the worst adverts or most pointless events. Charlie’s weekly take on what’s happening in the world addresses all the big issues in the news, on TV and the latest internet phenomena and sometimes the really weird tiny issues that no-one else has noticed. There are the usual mix of guests including American misanthrope and comedian Doug Stanhope taking on subjects as varied as America’s reputation for violence and immigration.

12:30 ............What’s the Story? 13:30 .................................Cricket 14:30 ...................................Dubai Racing Carnival

The Big Reunion 2014 ITV2, 21.00

The Big Reunion 2014 features exclusive and explosive accounts from former pop heroes, with revelations about drugs, fisticuffs, rows, eating disorders, shattered dreams and how the music industry can leave even apparently successful stars penniless. Each band has just two weeks of intense rehearsals before they step back onto the stage to perform once again in front of thousands of fans. The first episode features R&B pioneers Damage and Simon Cowell’s answer to the Spice Girls, Girl Thing, as they reveal the intense highs and lows of life at the peak of the pop world. After a million pound launch, Girl Thing’s dreams of becoming the new Spice Girls quickly fell apart. Plus, the band reveals the real story behind the fastestselling debut single at the time, ‘Pure and Simple’. From schoolyard to stage, north London’s urban soul boys Damage smashed the charts with a string of top ten hits including the iconic ‘Ghetto Romance’. The band reveals how sex, drugs and overspending destroyed their dream. Episode 1 also offers a taster from new band 5th Story. Gareth says: “My life changed overnight. Everything I seemed to release went to number one. I just enjoyed everything that was thrown at me.” He continues: “The band all sound very interesting, I know a few of them. Myself and Dane share a mutual friend.” Kavana says: “I was a very good boy to begin, I was very well behaved. It looked like everything was rosy, but I was getting more and more unhappy.” On whether the band will work, Kavana says: “Is there going to be a lead singer? Is there going to be a lot of egos in the room? Is it going to be a case of ‘well, I sold more records than you… you only get to number 8, well I got to number 1.’ How’s that going to work? Can we all sing together? Can we all sing?”

CW 36

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Entertainment

By Jamie Drew

31st January 2014 - 6th February 2014

Yes we All Love Karaoke again!

OUR extremely successful Tenerife Loves Karaoke competition will shortly be touring South Tenerife for the fourth year running.

I had the pleasure of hosting the first two years and fellow-Oasis Fm DJ Maggie Lennard, who hosted last year’s event, improved the format and scoring system, making it more efficient and less timeconsuming. Each year, this competition has produced some fabulous singers. Most of the contestants are looking for a way into showbiz. The organisers are aware of this, and they understand that they may need a little more support than somebody who is already working in the industry. It can be really daunting while waiting to be judged, especially when you are putting your ability and talent on the line for others to review. This is also a showcase for the extremelytalented workforce we have in Tenerife’s Karaoke and Show bars. I have yet to visit a venue here that doesn’t have a secret superstar behind the bar, or work-

ing the floor: someone who has a party piece or a certain song that he/she delivers well. Or maybe something so bad that it’s actually just as entertaining as a show-stopper. Over the years, there has been a variety of entrants competing in Tenerife’s Love Karaoke, and the comedic entries have actually managed to get a placing at heat level. In the first year, I remember a young man called Jamie (cool name!) at the Harbour Club in Puerto Colon. He tore the place up completely with his

version of Star Trekkin’ by The Farm. Under the scoring system, vocal ability accounted for 30 of the 50 points available. And though this song really doesn’t have a melody, it does take a great deal of ability to produce every vocal character in the song. Therefore, he scored high and sailed through to the sing-off at the heat’s final stage. Unfortunately, his second choice of song didn’t have the same impact on the judges, and that’s as far as he went in the competition. However, the enter-

tainment value produced on the stage during that heat was unsurpassed throughout the rest of the competition. The first-ever TLK winner was Paula Leeming, who has gone on to work within many areas of entertainment. She has performed in various duos, is also a compere and works for Playaway, the company which helps youngsters wishing to work abroad achieve their ambition. Incidentally, the current DJ at Linekers, Adam, started life in Tenerife with Playaway. Back then, he had no idea that years later he

would be resident DJ in a prime location - and in a top bar. The same can be said for second-year winner Yasmin Khan, who had dreamed for a long time of being a singer but had no idea how to begin. Her opportunity came through TLK - and after getting to the final in the first year and entering again the next year and winning the competition outright, she immediately gained recognition. I find it pleasing that, almost two years down the line, she is now a full-time singer in hotels and restaurants around

the Island. Last year’s grand final saw another packed house at Showtime, Las Americas, and the 2014 format has again proved a hit, with 12 venues booked already. There are normally 15 heats leading up to the final, which means that if you are reading this and you have a karaoke bar, your next move should be towards a phone to get this format booked into your venue. Tenerife Loves Karaoke can be found on Facebook, and further details can be obtained via email to info@oasisfm. com

SOUL TRAIN AT GARFIELDS THERE is always an air of anticipation when a new bar opens, or an existing bar reopens after a refurb or a facelift.

In some cases, a complete change of management and direction for a bar can be a big risk. Garfields Bar, in San

Eugenio, has re-opened its doors and now presents Soul Train, every night. It is all being headed up by American Soul singer Sebastian Whittaker, from New York. He, along with some of the Island’s finest soul voices, performs every night. Sebastian begins the night on the terrace,

where he showcases his amazing voice with some heavenly soul. There are two acts every night and so far, everything is going exceptionally well. Soul Train has achieved what it set out to do, and this venue will not have a problem succeeding. It has secured top names from the circuit

and is attracting many of the Islands ex-pat residents, as well as tourists. The terrace atmosphere can be mellow early on, and you can enjoy the voices on stage. Then, a little later, things move to the inside stage, where soul fans can dance the night away.

www.canarianweekly.com

Entertainment

31st January 2014 - 6th February 2014

37 CW

Bandits are cleaning up! AS is always the case at the start of a new year, it’s taken a few weeks for the new hits to make their mark.

This week will see a host of new songs in the UK top 40, and there are signs that this will be another strong year for British acts. Both singles and album sales have been strong, and if the money is tight after Christmas, nobody has told the music-buying public! This week, we look at a history-making No.1, the return of a muchtouted act, the next big boyband and an international superstar.

Clean Bandit WOW! Talk about an unknown act who come from nowhere and blow everyone’s mind. Three weeks ago, even the most clued-up of industry insiders would haven’t known who or what Clean Bandit were. The four-piece met at Jesus College in Cambridge University, where they were studying. Grace Chatto and Milan Neil AminSmith quickly became friends and they were part of a string quartet. Chatto’s boyfriend, Jack Patterson, would often record their performances and, from time to time, he remixed these recordings with drum beats and electronic music. This quickly led to them forming a band with Jack’s brother, Luke. Clean Bandit took their time creating their sound. The fusion of classical music and electro beats was unique, and they had little trouble getting a record deal. Early songs found a modest fan base, but the release of Rather Be changed everything. Popular “guest” singer Jess Glynne laid down the vocals and, with a stronger string section, the song was an instant smash. When it was released

last week, it became the fastest-selling January single of the Millennium, shifting nearly 200,000 units. It’s topping the airplay charts and is certain to keep will.i.am’s big comeback single at bay this week. Mozarts House will be remixed and reissued in March, and their debut album is keenly anticipated.

Will.i.am WILL is riding the crest of a wave at the moment. He is starring in the third series of The Voice on BBC and the show looks as though it will finally be a success. Viewing figures are up by over two million and off the back of this, his new single Feelin’ Myself is doing the business. Since his days as the Black Eye Peas jefe, he has recorded four multimillion selling albums. But he’s not the most prolific of artists. These have been spaced out over 13 years, and maybe the constant two or three years hiatus is the key to his success. This new track will be part of a re-released or “deluxe” edition of the fourth album, and he has called in some big

names to help him out. Rappers French Montana and Wiz Khalifa join forces with Miley Cyrus who takes charge of the female lead vocals. It’s the third time Will and Miley have worked together in a year, and this is their best work yet. The bass-heavy track is easy enough on the ear to gain favour with commercial radio, while the remixes have been popular on the dance stations. The air time on national TV helps as well! Katy B At 24 years of age, Katy B - or Kathleen Anne Brien to her mother - is in make-or-break territory. A graduate from the Brit School, she has all the ingredients for a long music career. She was nominated for the Mercury Prize in 2011, and has also been up for MOBO, MTV Europe and Q Award gongs. But for some reason, she is lagging behind her contemporaries. While the likes of Jessie J, Ellie Goulding and Lily Allen have kicked on and become household names, Katy is still on the outside looking in. She has performed across the spectrum, from Jazz festivals to work for Ministry of Sound. Maybe the Jackof-all-trades banner is holding her back. She had three top 10 singles in 2010, and new song Crying For No Reason needs to put her back to the level. But the signs are good. It’s a stripped-down bal-

lad which is a return to form. She will do a brief tour in the UK this week, and the song sets the stage for her second album, Little Red, which is out in a few weeks. Timed to hit the Valentines market, it should be a big hit. The Vamps DON’T call these lads a boy band to their faces! They have talent baked through them. Formed in 2012 they were instantly signed to Mercury records and put on tour as the backup for McFly. They showed their worth and got an instant fan base. Debut single Can We Dance steamed to No.2 in September after they backed Selena Gomez on her tour. They clearly love playing live because they will be backing Taylor Swift on the UK

leg of her Red Tour at the O2 next month. New single Wild Heart continues the good work and is already settled into the top five. All four members of the band co wrote the song, along with veteran pop writer Espen Lind. The Norwegian is said to be keen to do more

with the band and, at the moment, his songs are highly sort after. His Hey Soul Sister, which Train recorded, was the third-most-played on commercial radio around the world in 2013. The Vamps will release their debut album in May.

ARTIST SONG TITLE A Great Big World Say Something Alesso vs One Republic If I Lose Myself Angel Us Bruce Springsteen High Hopes Chris Malinchak If U Got It Clean Bandit ft Jess Glynne Rather Be Editors Honesty Ella Eyre Deeper Ellie Goulding Goodness Gracious Elyar Fox Do It All Over Again Fall Out Boy Young Volcanoes Gabrielle Aplin Salvation Gorgon City ft MNEK Ready for Your Love Grouplove Ways to Go Jake Bugg A Song About Love Jason Derulo Trumpets Katy B Crying for No Reason Kylie Into the Blue Lily Allen Air Balloon Lorde Team Luminites Do Something Miley Cyrus Adore You Neon Jungle Braveheart Nina Nesbitt Selfies Paloma Faith Can’t Rely on You Paolo Nutini Scream Pharrell Williams Happy Pitbull ft. Kesha Timber Pixie Lott Nasty Route 94 ft. Jess Glynne My Love Sam Smith Money on My Mind Shakira ft. Rihanna Can’t remember to Forget You The 1975 Settle Down The Vamps Wild Heart Vance Joy Riptide will.i.am Feelin’ Myself You Me at Six Fresh Start Fever Zedd ft. Hayley Williams Stay the Night

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Home and Lifestyle

31st January 2014 - 6th February 2014

Ace deal for Liberty Seguros LIBERTY Seguros has been elected by Spanish group AEGG) (Association of Directors and Managers of Clubs and Golf Courses) as the preferred insurer for golf insurances.

The agreement ensures that all AEGG members are entitled to the best benefits when taking out Liberty Seguros golf insurance. It was signed by AEGG Manager Manuel Lozano Pose and Francisco Javier Muñoz Postigo, Commercial Director for Liberty Seguros in Malaga. The insurance group is a non-profit organisation, which looks to boost, develop and present the role of golf club director/management, making it the ideal organisation for Liberty Seguros to team up with to enable the company to grow in the field

of specialist golf insurance. As Sr Pose said: “This agreement is very ben-

eficial to the organisation. To be able to count on a partner such as Liberty Seguros is a

Leaden reply to LED bulbs LED light bulbs are all the rage these days, yet they seldom live up to their billing as a provider of “ever-lasting” brightness.

In fact, consumer watchdog Which? has proved in tests that some fail well before their advertised lifespan - not even reaching the EU minimum of 6,000 hours, - despite costing up to £10 each. Others packed up before they reached 10,000 hours, though the manufacturers claimed they would last at least 15,000 hours and, in some cases, 25,000. Of the 46 types tested across Europe, only bulbs from TCP and Ikea were sold in the UK. But both companies say the bulbs tested have now been discontinued. Which? researcher Matt Clear said: “LED

lightbulbs have a tendency to make grand claims about their lifespan. “It’s common to see manufacturers promise bulbs will last 25,000 or even 50,000 hours, but we’ve found many failing well before this. “One of the attractions of LED bulbs is that they’re supposed to last a long time because they are, typically, more expensive than other types of light bulb.” LED stands for light emitting diode. A 7.5-watt LED bulb produces as much light as a traditional 60watt bulb and claims to save almost 80% on electricity. They are powered by small semi-conductors, however, and these can fail if they are made from poor-quality material. The LEDs are also prone to burn-out from power surges because semi-conductors are sensitive to voltage

fluctuations. And overheating can also lead to their downfall. An EU ban on cheap, traditional light bulbs came into force two years ago. The first, non-LED, energy-saving bulbs which replaced them have been criticised for emitting low levels of light and also for the time they take to reach full brightness. They are also disliked because some types cannot be used with a dimmer switch. From 1st March 1, though, EU regulations state that 90% of any batch of LED bulbs should last at least 6,000 hours. The bulbs tested by Which? were switched on for 165 minutes, then off for 15 minutes, in a continuous cycle. Five types stopped working before the 6,000-hour mark, and another five failed before the 10,000 mark.

breakthrough because the company will be able to offer us comprehensive cover that can

be adapted to our specific needs.” The policy covers: *Breakage and/or

damage to equipment and clubs during the course of play *Cover against fire and theft as a result of intimidation or violence while being transported by the insured *Cover while stored with the caddy-master, or at the pro shop Even more importantly, it provides Personal Accident Cover for death, permanent disability and medical expenses resulting from accidental injury on the golf course. Third Party Liability is included up to 100,000 euros, and it also covers accidents while playing abroad, provided that liability would have applied to the insured had the same accident occurred in Spain. Ask your Liberty Seguros broker about these competitively-priced golf policies and ensure you tee off with absolute peace of mind, at any officially-recognised club ANYWHERE in the world! Go to www.libertyexpatriates.es to find the nearest broker that speaks your language.

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Garden

31st January 2014 - 6th February 2014

By Margaret Tully THE daisy (asteraceae) family includes some 30-40 different flowers, and in Tenerife there are loads of different daisies popping up everywhere.

The most commonsighted one here in the Canaries, I would say, is the Marguerite Daisy (Argyranthemum gracile). This particular daisy, named by the RHS as “Chelsea Girl”, is native to the Canaries. At this time of year there are white waves of huge bunches that appear in all types of soil situations: coastal, mountainous, etc. Although the Marguerite is recognised as being from the daisy family, it is often put in the chrysanthemum family as well. It can be bought from garden centres as a cultivated plant, but you should never take

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Going crazy over daisies!

plants from the wild only seeds occasionally, if not protected, and only if there is an abundance of the plants. This applies to all plants growing naturally. This plant is quite obviously related to the little daisies I can certainly remember popping up in my Nana’s lawn, where my sister and I

used to sit and make daisy chains for hours and hours. They look exactly like these flowers, except the plants themselves are much more vigorous and have strong, woody bases. They die back to sticklike skeletons of themselves, but regenerate the year after. And for me, it is like the snowdrops of the UK signalling a step towards Spring. The other plant I would like to talk about is the Pot Marigold (Calendula officinalis), which is also from the daisy family. The best way to describe this most adorable plant is to quote a couple of excerpts from my book Journeywork. It includes a journey through an imaginary herbal garden, and, for

me, the Calendula must be in such a garden. “Your eyes are drawn to the meaty calendulas, some orange, some yellow in colour, like big daisies, full of goodness, the woman’s balancer. Skin complaints of any dry nature are eased with this herb. “You notice a small glass bottle, just beside one of the clumps of calendulas. It is a bottle of calendula water I have made for you to use on your eyelids - it will cool and soothe them from the bright sunlight. “Wait a few moments and look in front of you to the bottom end of the garden, just under the apple tree. Can you see them? Look really closely at their tiny little frames and delicate wings. This flower water is said to help you see fairies…”

Although gardening doesn’t entail making things with what you grow, I always try to find a link between the two because it seems logical to me to grow things with a purpose. Growing Calendulas couldn’t be easier. The crescent, moon-shaped seeds are really easy to collect from plants that have flowered. But make sure you get Calendula and not African Marigold, which is a totally different plant with different properties. You can purchase plants from many garden centres, but make sure you remove the flowers once they have opened. You can use them to make flower waters, add to salads, make a tea, or ointment or oil for the skin. And the more you pick them, the more flowers they will produce.

Some will evade being picked and will turn to seed heads, so remove the seeds once they are dry and store for next year, or sow straight away. There is, in fact, the Field Marigold (Calendula arvensis), which grows naturally in Tenerife, near the coast. It is said to be a cultivated flower, yet it is still growing wildly and comes up year after year. The flower heads are much smaller than the Pot Marigold and certainly not as meaty. But they have the same spicy, bitter scent and have the same properties, so they can be used in exactly the same way. Again, though, I would stress that if you see them when out and about, pick some flower heads and take some seeds, but never dig up plants. The Calendula leaves are long and slim, with a sticky, furry feel to them. They are also edible but can be very bitter. All daisies are ideal for butterflies and dragonflies, and they bring a bit of colour to a garden at this time of year. Also, the Calendulas will flower well into the late summer months. You can grow a succession of them. Calendula petals can be used as an alternative to saffron, as their orange petals contain a natural dye. And in India today, they still use this plant to dye fabric.

SOW IT, GROW IT, TASTE IT Ingredients *1kg fresh or frozen cauliflower *50g unsalted butter *500ml semi-skimmed milk *50g cornflour *75g mature cheddar cheese *2-3 cloves *1 bay leaf *Petals from 4-5 calendula flowers *Black cracked pepper Method *Heat the oven to 180ºC *Cut fresh cauliflower

Cauliflower with Cheese and Calendula Sauce into florets and boil or steam until just tender. Frozen cauliflower is already in florets and may need less cooking. *Set cauliflower aside for later. To make the sauce This is my way of making a smooth, nonlumpy sauce: *Take the milk and add the bay leaf, most of the

calendula petals, and the cloves *Heat milk to just before boiling, take off the heat and set aside for 15 minutes *Then strain and keep for next part of the recipe *Melt butter in a saucepan and then add the infused, strained milk and stir until nearly

boiling *Put cornflour in a cup and add a little water at a time to make a thick liquid, ensuring that all the flour is mixed well with the water. You can then add this milky liquid to the saucepan *Stir constantly until it begins to thicken, then turn heat down and continue to stir for a few

moments. Set aside. *Grate the cheese and keep a small amount back for later. Put the rest into saucepan with thickened liquid and stir constantly, allowing cheese to melt, and keep stirring to prevent sauce from splitting. *Take off the heat. Putting it all together *Put cauliflower into

an oven-proof dish and pour over sauce *Sprinkle remainder of grated cheese and calendula petals over top of the sauce and season with black cracked pepper *Bake in oven for 25-35 minutes The calendula adds a unique flavour to this dish and turns it a lovely yellow/orange colour. It looks so tasty – and it is!

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Health and Beauty

By Val Sainsbury USING some mouthwashes is a “disaster” for health, and increases the risk of heart attacks and strokes.

That’s the warning from a group of research scientists, who maintain: “Swilling kills off ‘good’ bacteria that help blood vessels relax - so increasing blood pressure.” But dentist Richard Guyver said he would be “very cautious about drawing conclusions” from such a small study. When healthy volunteers, under the watchful eye of the Londonbased scientists used Corsodyl - a brand containing a powerful antiseptic - their blood pressure rose within hours. Professor Amrita Ahluwalia, who led the study, condemned the widespread use of antiseptic mouthwash. “Killing off all these bugs each day is a disaster, when small rises in blood pressure have significant impact on

31st January 2014 - 6th February 2014

Mouthwash benefits are hard to swallow morbidity and mortality from heart disease and stroke,” she said. GlaxoSmithKline, which makes Corsodyl, stressed that its product was for short-term use to stop plaque and prevent gum disease. The company added that it also made another product, Corsodyl Daily, which contains 0.06% chlorhexidine for everyday use. The GlaxoSmithKline spokesman said: “Our own research has not highlighted any concerns regarding the use of Corsodyl 0.2% mouthwash as directed, or increases in blood pressure.” More than half of British adults use a mouthwash regularly, creating a £180-a-year market. The study compared blood pressure levels in 19 healthy volunteers, who started using Corsodyl twice daily. Their blood pressure rose by between 2 and 3.5 units. Researchers wrote in the Free Radical Biology And Medicine journal: “This effect ‘appeared within one day’ of using the mouthwash.”

For each two-point rise in blood pressure, the risk of dying from heart disease rises by 7%, according to separate research. Such a rise also increases the risk of dying from a stroke by 10%. Heart disease and stroke are the biggest killer in Britain, and

Prof Ahluwalia, from London’s Queen Mary University, said: “We are not telling people to stop using antiseptic mouthwashes if they have a gum or tooth infection. But we would ask, ‘Why would anyone else would want to?’” Corsodyl contains 0.2% by volume of the

antiseptic chlorhexidine. Other antiseptic mouthwashes made by Boots and Superdrug contain the chemical in the same concentration. It kills microbes needed to help create nitrite, which is essential for blood vessels to dilate properly. But the mouthwash caused nitrite produc-

tion in the mouth to fall by over 90%, and blood nitrite to fall by 25%. Not all mouthwashes contain chlorhexidine: Listerine, for example, does not. But Prof Ahluwalia said: “Other mouthwashes could still disrupt the healthy bacteria.”

Sunshine could be life-saver PEOPLE could slash their risk of heart attacks and stroke by enjoying more sunlight. Scientists have found that regular time spent in sunshine, soaking up doses of UVA (ultra-violet light), helps reduce blood pressure, which is a key trigger for both killer diseases. And they believe the benefits of sunlight exposure outweigh the risks of skin cancer, About one-third of British adults have high blood pressure, known as the “silent killer” because there are often no obvious symptoms. Scientists at the universities of Southampton and Edinburgh hope their research into the benefits of

sunlight can provide ways of preventing and treating potentially fatal conditions. They found UVA rays alter levels of nitric oxide in the body, causing blood vessels to dilate and reducing blood pressure. Martin Feelisch, professor of experimental medicine and integrative biology at Southampton, said: “As blood pressure drops, so does the risk of heart attacks and stroke. “It is a moderate drop, but we are talking about a chronic effect - and a small drop in blood pressure regularly can be significant. “In fact, we think the benefits of exposure to the sun far outweigh

the risks from skin cancer.” High blood pressure is the main risk-factor for strokes, contributing to about half of all cases. But it is also linked to heart attacks, heart failure and kidney disease. Professor Graham MacGregor, chairman of Blood Pressure UK, said: “This is a very interesting study that suggests exposure to sunlight may cause a small but immediate fall in blood pressure.” Dr Ian Campbell, a GP based in Nottingham, added: “This is another example of how being active and getting outdoors is very good for your health. “But it is important

to stress that people should keep up a healthy lifestyle and take appropriate advice about medication where needed.” The study, published in the Journal Of Investigative Dermatology, looked at the effect of UVA sun-lamps on 24 healthy adults. Prof Feelisch said that although the research was carried out on healthy people, the findings suggest that sunlight may help those who already have high blood pressure. He added: “Warnings to keep out of the sun and to wear sunblock, even in the winter, could increase the risk of high blood pressure, which is a continual risk-factor for cardio-

vascular disease. “Even a small reduction is significant, so well-meaning warnings to stay out of the sun could be putting people at increased risk.” The latest findings tie in with earlier research, which links blood pressure and heart disease risk to seasonal changes in sunlight intensity. Research also reveals that people in sunny parts of the world have lower blood pressure and a lower risk of cardiovascular disease. Although sunlight triggers the production of Vitamin D in the body, Professor Feelisch said this was not the reason for reduced risk. “We know it is not the effect of vitamin D, as

this takes longer to be made in the body than the time frame of the experiment,” he added. Figures from the Stroke Association reveal that strokes caused almost 50,000 deaths in the UK in 2010, making it the fourth-largest cause of death after cancer, heart disease and respiratory disease, About one in five strokes is fatal, causing around 7% of deaths in men and 10% in women. Almost one in six men and one in 10 women die from coronary heart disease, according to the British Heart Foundation. The condition kills 74,000 people each year, averaging 200 people a day.

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Health and Fashion

31st January 2014 - 6th February 2014

Thongs for the memory

Try a different point of view… By Carl from Robot

By Ruth Benson

YOUR hair talks about you - and even when you haven’t bothered to do it, it’s saying things about you personally.

WE are now entering what is known as the awards’ season and last weekend at the Grammys, one outfit and performance caused a lot of controversy.

Hair isn’t a garment you can just take off if it doesn’t look good; it’s not something you can disguise very well if you don’t do something with it. After teeth and eyes, hair is what we look at first in a person. We make contact with eyes, check over teeth, and then check out the hair! If you don’t believe me, wait till you next meet a friend or colleague. Even if we don’t like a certain person, we still show interest in these things. So if your hair isn’t looking its best, or you’ve had the same style for a while, maybe you should think about your image a little more. Ask yourself these questions: *Does my hair complement my wardrobe? *Do I get compliments about my hair? *When I’ve styled my hair, does it make me feel good? If the answer to any of these questions is No, then it really is time you visited your stylist for advice.

I always check out my clients’ clothing, their make-up … everything, down to the time they spend on styling to their methods of keeping up to their “look”. Because, without this, you will leave the salon with something you dislike. That’s bad for me

and even worse for you. I sometimes have to give a client a style or colour that I don’t recommend, but this is down to personal choice. If you’re happy with the end result, then so are we - as long as the cut is there and the colours are not causing damage. I can’t just send out of the salon the styles I want to achieve because it is all about compromise - and keeping both sides happy. So, if what I’ve mentioned has made you look in the mirror, maybe this is your first step to finding a new you. Always ask your stylists for their free advice, and try to think out of the “norm” and attempt something different.

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I am talking about Beyoncé and the opening act of the ceremony with her husband Jay Z. It was deemed unsuitable viewing for 8pm, and she was criticised for her choice of outfit. Angry viewers have been on Twitter comparing her display with that of Miley Cyrus at the MTV MVA awards last August. And viewers were disgusted that, as a mother and a role model for many young girls, she performed in a thong body suit. This leads me to look into the debate regarding celebrities as role models and fashion. Let’s first of all go back to last August and Miley Cyrus. Most people were shocked at the transformation of the sweet and

innocent Hannah Montana actress. Miley had been known for her role in the Disney TV show and was looked up to by many young girls. Some say the choice of clothing and the famous twerking with Robin Thicke was unsuitable, projecting the wrong image to impressionable girls, while others saw it as Miley’s coming-of-age. Unfortunately it has not stopped there because Miley has gone from one provocative outfit to the next. But this is not a new phenomenon. Pop stars in particular have been known for going out to shock. Probably the most famous was Madonna during the Eighties and Nineties. But is it going too far? Is there a difference between making a statement and showing how strong women are by using sex to sell the artist’s record and image. Feminists say we have gone full circle. From women being exploited for their sexuality, to women now using that sexuality for their own means. Women are stronger role models, now more

than ever, but is this using their high profiles responsibly? Do we want young women and girls to look up to celebrities for their bodies, clothing and behaviour, or for using their influence to change opinions and not see women just as objects? Women have also used fashion in a proactive way. No better example is the burning of the bra to allow women to vote. And Lady Gaga has used fashion to get her point across on many occasions; most famously with her “meat dress”. Here, she used a highprofile event to get over what she called a “political statement”. And when asked why she wore the meat, she said: “If we don’t stand up for what we believe in, pretty soon we are going to have the same rights as the meat on our bodies.” Events such as the Grammys and MTV have now become more about how celebrities behave, or what they wear - and the more shocking the better. With the BAFTAS and the Oscars coming up, watch this space to see who hits the headlines.

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Food and Drink

31st January 2014 - 6th February 2014

Mouth-watering pizza so cheap WE sampled one of the newer restaurants in Los Cristianos a few weeks ago - La Taberna in the Apolo Centre.

It was so good that we decided to head back there this week to sample their pizzas as they have a new chef added to their team. We were greeted by Marco, and this time we were seated in the warm indoor area as it was a bit cooler than our previous visit. Marco, who owns the restaurant, was delighted to introduce us to new chef Paulo, from Napoli. He has been on the Island for six years. and has been cheffing for the past 20 years - 14 of those in Switzerland and many other countries. Naturally, he has a varied, unique style of cuisine, which means the menu will soon include some new and interesting specialties. As for tonight, we decided to keep it simple

and go for the FourCheese pizza and the Pescatora pizza with

Salmon and Prawns. Both were huge in size and delicious in taste. Paulo did, however, recommend the restaurant’s specialty: Pizza topped with fresh Rocket, Parmesan cheese and cured Parma ham. And for fish lovers, the Pasta frutto di mare is a definite must. The amazing thing is that these mouth-wa-

tering Pizza creations start from only 3.50 euros, so you really can’t go wrong. After the pizzas we were stuffed, but we did manage to squeeze in a dessert to share: Panna Cotta - a vanilla cream pudding with a firm texture, topped with dark chocolate sauce. Heavenly Sin! We weren’t in an alcohol-drinking mood so, instead of the offered liqueur, we finished off our meal with hot chocolate, topped with whipped cream (all New Year diets now start in February, in case you hadn’t heard). Just to add to the traditional Italian ambiance, the restaurant has recently started live music evenings, with a bit of Italianstyle Karaoke thrown in for those who are up for it. There were some English songs as well, in case you were wondering. La Taberna is open all day from 12noon till midnight and, in addition to the daily special offers, all residents get a 10% discount!

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Food and Drink

31st January 2014 - 6th February 2014

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Amazing La Martina NOBODY ever makes a bad recommendation. It’s like a Seinfeld sketch: “Every time somebody recommends a doctor, he’s always the best. They can’t all be the best! Someone’s graduating at the bottom of these classes. Where are those doctors?” We’ve all been there. We go to a restaurant with high hopes, only to feel let down. “How can someone like this place?” And then there are those places where the recommendation is spoton. Your friends’ favourite restaurant becomes your favourite. This is La Martina. Hand on heart, I don’t know anyone who doesn’t rave about it. Simply put, you have to go. While La Martina, like all Gourmetland restaurants, does a range of dishes, you really have to have the meat. The chefs are so proud of their meat that they introduce you to your dish as you walk in. Literally, on your righthand side, there is a

mammoth open front fridge displaying all the fresh options. When you look at the menu, you read it and then walk to fridge. You can choose which cut you want. And if you want it sliced a certain way or cut slightly differently, it’s never a problem. In fact, that is the mantra at La Martina. And all the credit for this goes to the manager, Pepe. He has been in charge from day one. La Martina opened in July 2009 and

the restaurant breathes Pepe’s style and class. He has been on the Island for over 20 years after arriving from his home city of Naples. His influence is everywhere, from the professional staff to the amazing open-glass wine cellar, through to the little touches to the menu. La Martina is like no other restaurant in Tenerife, and it’s the reason why you will return. As I’ve mentioned, there is a full and wide

wine cellar. The buffs can peruse the list and make their selection. Or you can join Pepe or Thomas, his dedicated wine waiter, to make the perfect choice for you. They have exclusive wines and it’s a menu that you will enjoy exploring. Just like the food menu itself which, while based on Argentine and other South American cuisine, has the manager’s Italian touch to it. On this occasion, we opted for the large pimiento de padron and one of the signature dishes, the provoleta. In layman’s terms, it’s cheese with toast and spicy sausages! But it’s nothing like that. The thinly-toasted dry bread is designed for the amazing provoleta cheese. It’s an Argentine grilling cheese, which is popular in Italy. I wonder how it ended up on the menu? It’s stored as a hard cheese and is best served slow-baked. This helps the cheese retain its rich full flavour, and the slow roasting or grilling stops the gorgeous, tangy cure from

evaporating. It is served in the oven dish and is eaten a little like a fondue. Combined with the spicy chorizo sausage slices, it’s dynamite. Great to share, unique and the perfect starter. The main course was tricky. As I’ve mentioned, the open fridge contains so many juicy cuts. The pork steaks, ribs and chops are on offer, along with lamb chops, skillet, sirloins, fillet and the usual cuts. And then there are the specials. The chateaubriand is the perfect sharing dish, as is the monster Ox chop, which can be part-cooked and served on your own grilling plate. And for the connoisseurs, there is the famous aged rib eye with the marble effect, which gives it that flavour. This you can have on the bone or off. The steaks are cooked to your liking on the large public, open grill. It’s always nice to see this is as it gives a restaurant atmosphere and a wonderful aroma. For some restaurants, less is more - and while I subscribe to that view, more is more at La Martina Gentlemen, you have to see the size of these steaks. Skip lunch before you go! Steaks are a very personal thing. Everyone likes them a different way, but let me make a suggestion for you which will change your life. Firstly, ask for the Mal-

don salt. This is a flaked sea salt which is lightly applied to the warm meat. It caramelises on touch and changes the texture and flavour of the meat. Next, order some Chimichurri. This is an Argentine sauce, specifically designed for meat dishes. The ingredients include garlic, parsley, vinegar and a couple of spices which are the restaurant’s secret. No amount of bribery could get Pepe to reveal what it was. The chimichurri, combined with the Maldon, brings the meat alive in a way that will change your palette forever. I cannot praise the chefs enough. The accompanying potatoes and special vegetables complete the meal perfectly. La Martina has a variety dessert menu if you still have any room left. Or, like us, you can go for the first-rate cheese selection, served with walnuts and grapes. The restaurant has live entertainment nightly with dance shows and flamenco, along with singers and instrumentalists. Whether you are on holiday or a resident, you must experience La Martina. And I guarantee you will go again. La Martina is in Americas Plaza in central Las Américas. For reservations, call 922 751 398.

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Community News

31st January 2014 - 6th February 2014

Whitlock and Wade a wow at Showtime

TWO of the world’s finest darts players were in superb form when they entertained a large crowd at Showtime last week. World No.3 Simon Whitlock and former World Masters winner James Wade brought the house down with a series on exhibition matches against players from the Oasis Fm Darts league. World No.6 Wade

soaked up the atmosphere as he took on Ladies winner Sara from La Caña and Division 1’s Rob, from Bar 180 C. Wade set the tone for the evening when he hit a 180 on his very first visit! Australian Whitlock also hit a 180 on his first throw as he beat Division 2 winner Alan from Sundowners Bar, then Mick from the Premier League’s

Bar 180 A. The evening started with a threecourse meal, followed by a question-and-answer session. Threetime world champion John Lowe was on hand to conduct the Heads & Tails - and later in the evening there was a standing ovation for the night’s surprise guest – two-time world champion Dennis Priestley, who is on holiday here for a few weeks.

After an auction which saw the players’ signed shirts, and a trip to the Premier League final, go for big money, it was time for the EZE Group Cup. It was best of 13 legs and both Whitlock and Wade were desperate to win. Whitlock started quicker and a plethora of 180s, backed up with some sharp finishing, saw him take a 4-2 lead at the mini break.

But the Englishman fought back. Cheered on by the noisy “Wade Army” James took the next two legs to level, only for Simon to find a little more. Wade missed a double to level the match at 6-5 and Whitlock finished it off to take the spoils. It was a fine end, to an excellent night, which raised lots of money for the EZE Group foundation. Afterwards,

both stars said they were keen to return and it is hoped that this will become an annual event. Thanks must go out to Daniel for scoring, Chris for his excellent score announcing - “The best I’ve seen outside of the UK,” said John Lowe - Dominic and everyone at EZE Group, plus the Oasis Fm Darts League committee.

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Community News

31st January 2014 - 6th February 2014

Live Arico news

Nacho - dog of the week Found abandoned in Las Chafiras last summer, Nacho is still looking for a permanent home. He is around 18 months old, playful, sweet and fully vaccinated and sterilised.

He is medium-sized, and our usual adoption fee of 110 euros includes all his injections and chip. Call Sue on 629 388 102 for more information. Live Arico’s support Today (Friday), on the Top Square, San Blas, Golf del Sur, we will be raising money for the following animal welfare organisations: Cats Welfare, Adepac refuge, SOS Peludos and

MADAT. All do sterling work and we are happy to assist with fund-raising, so do come down. The lineup includes Kerry Rail-

ton, Vici Denton, Cara as Cher, Micky Glamz, Darren Carr, Danny Bianco, Michaela as Tina Turner and Charlie Volare, all hosted by Suzy

Accion del Sol news

All aboard for Saturday fun CHILDREN aged between five and 12 are invited by Accion del Sol to visit the refuge every Saturday for educational and recreational activities. The two-hour sessions start tomorrow (Saturday) at 1pm, and they will provide an opportunity for the youngsters to have fun while learning about pets and the natural environment of the refuge. We will also include such things as learning to cook, embroider, paint, dance, act, etc. And, of most importance, how to train and care for pets. The various weekly events will add up to an entertaining, fun time for the children. Parents are welcome to join in, or maybe they can use those hours to take a walk with some of our many dogs. Ongoing activities every Saturday will be published quarterly on

Accion’s Facebook page “Aktion Tier Accion”, so do not hesitate to contact the refuge for further information on 922 778 630. Planned activities for February 1st - Basic dog training. Learn how to teach our dogs to sit, lie down, give paw, etc. We will also have some fun teaching dog agility. 8th - Preparation of cakes. We’ll have fun preparing, mixing, baking cakes, and then decorating them. 15th - Learn to crochet and knit to decorate shirts, pants, bags, etc. 22nd - You’ll be working with our ponies, learning how to groom, feed and care for them, and you will have an opportunity to ride them. Future animal-lovers Accion del Sol last week welcomed 40-strong group of three-year-olds from a San Isidro school, who came to learn about animal care and welfare.

There was a mixture of many nationalities, all coming together to help our many unfortunate dogs on the Island. We’re Germany bound Here are three lucky dogs starting their new lives in Germany. Accion is always looking for people to escort the animals on their flights to Germany and if you would like to help in any way please call the refuge on 922 778 630. Revised opening times Please remember the refuge’s new opening times (from tomorrow (Saturday): Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday: 2-5pm. Saturday 1-4pm. Accion will be closed on Wednesday, Sunday and holidays. Please call for more information. The refuge is situated at Granadilla Industrial Estate, Exit 51 on the TF1, directly next to ITER, the ecological park, where the windmills are.

Q, with a finale by the Spice Girls … don’t ask! Have a great night with us, from 8pm until we drop! Stock our shops If you have quality unwanted clothes, cds, dvds, shoes, household items or children’s clothing, call Siobhan now on 630 857 626. And do come and see us. We have shops in Los Cristianos, Calle Revron near Churchills Bar, and San Eugenio, opposite Hotel La Nina by Amandas bar at las Carabelas complex. Both shops open from 10am-4pm, Monday to Friday, and until 2pm Saturday. The Los Cristianos shop is also on Sundays. Come and have a browse, bag a bargain and help the animals.

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Moira Sanderson RIP SADLY, Moira Sanderson, loving wife of Willie and mother of two beautiful girls, Linda and Donna passed away on Saturday (25th January). Moira spent over 20 years in Tenerife and was well known in The Patch, Las Americas. And although she travelled all over the world on holiday, her happiest times were here in Tenerife - her second home Moira, though small and frail, was down to earth. She was a real character and there was no messing with her. She could lash you with her tongue from 100 yards! She grew up in Edinburgh and, though Scottish, she was very generous, as was demonstrated on numerous occasions. Robert Bennett, who, after finishing a game of golf at Berwick-upon-Tweed with her husband Willie, and six other hungry, thirsty Jocks, appear at Moira’s door. Robert recalls: “Moira, without a moan, produces a

can of corned beef and makes enough sandwiches and finds enough beer for all of us to go round, Now that’s what you call a lady.” That was the old days, but things prospered. Along came Linda and Donna, and Moira became very successful. She worked hard and enjoyed all the finest restaurants in Tenerife and all over the world. She was always polite and graceful, never forgetting her roots. And Moira enjoyed the odd breakfast in Scotch Corner and the more frequent glass of wine in Bad Bobs in the afternoon. A great lady, very sadly missed in Tenerife. God bless.

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Motoring

By Jav

31st January 2014 - 6th February 2014

Accord is still an eye-catcher

HONDA’S Accord, which seems to have been around forever, is starting to look a little dated.

And especially when you compare it with its quirky, Civic stablemate. Yet it is still considered a premium alternative to mainstream saloons, even though it is not the largest car in its class. On the plus side, it is luxurious inside and well-equipped with superb build quality, plenty of soft-touch plastics and solid-feeling switchgear. The interior is definitely more upmarket than those found in the Ford Mondeo or Vauxhall Insignia, and it’s a pity the Accord lacks the image and appeal of a BMW, Audi or Mercedes. Back in its heyday, the Accord provided a stern challenge to the likes of the BMW 3 Series and Audi A4. Now, however, it sits somewhere between more mainstream saloons such as the Ford Mondeo or Vauxhall Insignia and the lower end of the premium market where you’ll find Audi’s A4 and the BMW 3 Series. The Accord is available as a saloon or estate, but, unfortunately, there is no hatchback

alternative. And practicality is not a strong point, either, with boot size and rear legroom unable to match that of its competitors. It is available in four trim levels: entry-level ES, ES GT, EX and topof-the-range Type S. Okay, it is not particularly a high-achiever, but it’s definitely an allrounder with many safety features and equipment. It also offers lots of accessories and a decent driving experience. If you want the large alloy wheels, which sets the car off, you will have to opt for top-spec Type S models - at a cost! Yet even entry-level

ES cars are given smart touches like a leather steering wheel and gear knob, USB connectivity and cruise control. The line-up features two petrol engines and one diesel, with all offering decent performances. The entry-level 2.0-litre i-VTEC petrol comes with 154bhp and is generally quite smooth, while the 2.4-litre iVTEC is the quickest in the line-up, reaching 0-62mph in an impressive 8.1secs. Both petrol versions, however, have poor fuel consumption at 41.0mpg and 33.0mpg respectively. The attractive 148bhp

2.2-litre i-DTEC diesel, which is refined and smooth - manages 53.0mpg and looks favourite to come out top of the pile. The Accord won’t thrill on the road, as does the BMW 3 Series, but it does come with precise steering and minimal body roll. All models have been given lots of safety equipment, including electronic stability control (ESP), six airbags and anti-whiplash front headrests all as standard. Meanwhile, optional extras include lanekeep assist and adaptive cruise control.

Curiously, despite its large dimensions, it isn’t as spacious as it ought to be inside. A narrow boot opening on the saloon model makes loading large items of luggage a touch problematic. There’s actually just 467 litres of boot space on offer - leaving the Accord trailing behind most of its rivals. All the models come with 60:40 split/fold rear seats as standard, but passengers won’t find as much rear legroom as they would in a Skoda Superb. But another big tick for the model is intuitive climate and stereo controls. Standard features

include dual-zone, automatic climate control, Bluetooth, a back-up camera, a four-speaker stereo and a USB port. Options include a seven-speaker stereo, navigation and satellite radio. And safety equipment includes forward collision warning and a blind-spot camera mounted on the passenger side mirror. There is no doubt the new Honda Accord delivers a smooth, comfortable ride, and at a price range of around £20,000-£28,000, it still represents good value for money against its superior BMW and Audi rivals.

Skoda promising a Superb treat! SKODA’S new Superb model is already a “revelation” in the eyes of company chief Winfried Vahland.

He is genuinely excited about this new offering, which will be based on the VW Group’s MQB platform and will share up to 50% of its parts with the Volkswagen Passat. It will again be offered as a saloon and an estate, and Vahland says: “The new Superb will, in terms of styling and execution, be a revela-

tion,” he said. “For the next 10 years, it will be the top of the line.” There were some suggestions that a full-sized SUV would replace the Superb in Skoda’s line-up, but the boss says that car will also be replaced in 2016 or 2017. A 2.0-litre, four-cylinder engine will be the largest offered in the Superb as part of Skoda’s pursuit of lighter weight and better fuel economy. The Czech Republic company are also focusing on improving aerodynamic efficiency.

Though it’s an 80-yearold brand in Europe, the Superb has also been around in India for many years. One constant is its value-for-money offer for an aggressively-priced, premium saloon with

luxury features. Skoda have decided to re-skin its flagship model to give it a few more years in the market, before an all-new Superb is launched in two years. And what makes the Superb somewhat spe-

cial is that it’s now the only diesel premium sedan in the market. The facelifted Superb, with its sharper, new design, is expected to be unveiled at India’s Auto Expo next month, although the mechanics and interiors stay the same in the main. The only change on the inside is a new fourspoke steering wheel similar to the Octavia. But the outside has really gone under the knife. Gone are the bulky, beefy looks and on the back, the number plate has moved to

the boot lid from the rear bumper, while taillights have been redesigned with LEDs for a more premium look akin to the rest of the VW family sedans. At the front, the bi-xenon headlights now incorporate daytime running LEDs. There is also the all-new Skoda logo, with the green making way for black and silver, and new alloys for the wheels. And with prices starting from £18,555, the range is certainly worth more than just a glance when it reaches the showroom.

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Puzzle

31st January 2014 - 6th February 2014

NEW Godoku!

The rules of Godoku are simple - just enter the letters stated below once in each row, column and 3 x 3 square within the puzzle grid. When you have completed it a word will appear.

This week’s letters: A D E H I K N R T This week’s mystery clue: It happens here in the title of the 11th Kathleen Mallory mystery by Carol O’Connell (9 letters).

H K

K E I T N A E H

T R

A I T D I T H A

30-Second Brain Training

What better way to train your brain. Starting at the left with the number provided, work across each of these lines applying the mathematical instructions to your running total. Don´t reach for the calculator - that´s cheating! Write your final answer in the last box of the line. Aim to complete each round in about 30 seconds. Good Luck!

Making you think... Which numbers should replace the question marks?

Beginner Starter Number

+13

-1

+14

÷8

-50

4/11 of this

+36

Answer

Intermediate Starter Number

x57

-27

÷3

-26

÷6

+19

+95

÷2

Answer

Advanced Starter Number

117

-83

x15

÷9

x3 +130 ÷8 +106 -45

7/9 of this

Answer

Quick Wordsearch Find the words on: The Muscular System abdominal biceps gluteusmedius latissimusdorsi quadriceps trapezius deltoid hamstrings obliques triceps gastrocnemius gluteusmaximus iliopsoas pectoralis tibalias

N T Sudoku X... Just enter the numbers 1 - 9 once in each row, column and 3 x 3 square within the sudoku X puzzle grid. In addition to standard sudoku, the numbers must only occur once in each side of the ‘X’ that is marked on the grid.

6 9 9 5 6 4 2 3 8 9 5 4 3 5 8 7 5 1 8 7 4 6 7 1 5

Last Issue's Answers:

8 4

Brain Training: Beginner: 2 Intermediate: 102

1 9

1 4

9 2 4 3

8 4 5 6

9 3 7

2 9 8

3 6 4 2

4 1

4 8 5 1

2 1 5 4 7 3

6 1 4 3

5 9 7 6

6 4

Advanced: 301

Making you think: Answer: 10. In each star diagram, the number in the centre equals the sum of the top three numbers, subtracting the sum of the bottom two numbers.

And 2 normal sudokus for you aswell...

47 CW

7 5 9

4 7 9

9 6

Godoku:

Sudoku X: 5 8 4 6 2 1 7 3 9 1 9 3 4 5 7 6 2 8 6 2 7 9 3 8 1 4 5 9 1 6 3 8 4 5 7 2 7 3 2 5 6 9 8 1 4 8 4 5 7 1 2 3 9 6 2 6 8 1 9 3 4 5 7 4 5 1 2 7 6 9 8 3 3 7 9 8 4 5 2 6 1

Sudoku: 7 1 8 9 6 5 3 2 4

2 9 8 1 6 5 4 3 7

6 3 9 4 2 7 8 5 1

3 6 7 8 2 4 1 9 5

4 2 5 3 8 1 6 7 9

5 1 4 9 3 7 8 6 2

8 9 1 7 5 2 4 3 6

4 3 9 6 7 2 5 1 8

5 7 4 1 3 6 9 8 2

8 5 6 3 4 1 7 2 9

2 6 3 8 9 4 7 1 5

7 2 1 5 9 8 6 4 3

1 8 2 6 4 3 5 9 7

9 8 3 7 1 6 2 5 4

3 5 6 2 7 9 1 4 8

1 7 2 4 5 3 9 8 6

9 4 7 5 1 8 2 6 3

6 4 5 2 8 9 3 7 1

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Free Ads / Classified

How to submit your free adverts: PHONE 902 232 102 Email: classified@canarianweekly.com Just pop in the office in Las Chafiras (next to the Golf Shop). Deadline for Free ads is Tuesdays at 4pm. Upto 500 euros only.

Grey marl 3 piece suit, jacket and waistcoat, 40L and trousers, 34L, 20 euros. Timberland juumper, XL, 10 euros. Sonnetti combats, 34L, 10 euros. Jane, pink and orange pregnancy sleeping/feeding cushion, also turns into cushion for baby to lay in, 20 euros. Second hand mens golf shoes, size 11, 20 euros ONO. Events management level 3 course from www.openstudycollege.com, 300 euros including name change. Tel: 637 206 026 Front-loading washing machine, 135 euros. Top-loading washing machine, 130 euros. Can deliver. Tel: 635 911 337 Chris Brasher Hillmaster leather walking boots, as new, size 42 (8), 39 euros. Tel: 922 794 495 10.5 degree golf driver with carbon shaft, excellent cond, 30 euros. Tel: 922 797 888 Candy fridge excellent cond, 70 euros ono. Tel: 922 724 635 or 611 247 046 Brand new Pulse mp3 master, professional DJ mp3/usb/sd card player. rack mounted in flight case, 40 euros. Tel: 669 385 107 Onkyo professional home cinema theatre amplifier with unused Yamaha speakers, 5 + sub. 600 watts. 4 HDMI out. 2 optical out, radio plus many other features. Still with warranty, connects easily TV, sat box, game consoles, DVD, hard disc etc. Instructions in several languages. 250 euros ono. Tel: 610 838 327 Nearly-new Intex inflatable bed, queen size, with integrated air pump and storage bag. Inflates/deflates a couple of minutes. 18in deep mattress., still boxed with instructions, 30 euros ono. Habitex VTS-40 electric fan, vgc, 15 euros ono. Tel: (+44) 751 702 8742 Black work trousers with gold zips, size 18, brand-new, 15 euros. Black and white single wardrobe, 70 euros, 4 brand-new vest tops size XXL, 20 euros. Small dog harness, coat

31st January 2014 - 6th February 2014

and raincoat, 15 euros. Tel: 611 270 859. Folding moped 50cc, Di Blasi, road legal, English number plate, 250 euros. Tel: 672 892 665 Treatment couch, good condition, little usage, 50 euros ono. Tel: 619 624 743 Microwave and grill, 35 euros. TDT with remote, 15 euros. Ceiling fan with lamp, 25 euros. Camping gas, 20 euros. DVD player/ video recorder combo remote, 45 euros. DVD player, 25 euros. VCR player, 20 euros, Butane gas bottles, 40 euros each, 3 for 110 euros. Two orange juicers, 10 euros each. Deep fat fryer, 20 euros, VCR player, 20 euros. Cordless home phone, 10 euros. Table lamp with shade, 10 euros. Computer monitor, 25 euros. Child’s car seat, 20 euros. Tel: 632 526 710 Computer tower, 70 euros, PC monitor, 30 euros. DVD player, 20 euros. VCR player, 25 euros. Foot bath massager, 20 euros. Playstation 2 with controller + two games, 45 euros. Microwave 25 euros. Microwave dishes, 8 euros each. Vacuum cleaner, (bagless), 20 euros. 21in TV, 30 euros. Mini oven, 20 euros. Tel: 686 336 904 New gent’s dinner suit c/w lurex thread (Greiff ). Also, white dinner jacket (Weidenmann) size 42 regular, 400 euros. Tel: 922 715 183 Sony laptop, 500mb storage unit, printer, 175 euros. Tel: 672 599 411 Hostess trolley 80 euros. Tel: 922 750 298 Lady’s mountain bike Shimano gears, Tel: 697 746 885. Antique style, drop-down front writing desk, two drawers and glass fronted cupboard, 85 euros. 1960s glass-fronted cabinet, 45 euros. Silver gas cylinder, 25 euros. Beech computer desk, 15 euros. Tel: 629 570 945 Quick sale, LG 32ins flat screen, HD ready TV, genuine reason for selling, can be seen working. 75 euros. Tel: 636 626 669 Boys’ clothes age 5-11, T-shirts, shorts, jeans, jackets and shoes, plus good assortment ladies’ clothes, size 10-12, 50 cents an item. Brother electric typewriter, 40 euros. Binatone mobile phone, 10 euros. China cabinet, quality wood and glass dome top with light, 55 euros. Assorted suitcases all different sizes, 7 euros. Tel: 922 742 257 or 661 084 981

Mobile phone, Nokia Asha 305, 3-inch touchscreen, 1 GHz processor and 2 megapíxel camera, with charger and earphones, 35 euros. Tel: 635 232 327. Mothercare insect net for prams, strollers, push chairs, playpens etc, 3 euros. Outdoor summer fun for small kids, hard plastic double animal seal seesaw, 15 euros. Mookie Dragonfly trike bike/scooter, (folds up for carrying), 15 euros. Playskool Poppin ball park, 10 euros. Girl’s pink plastic Moto/ motorbike with horn, 10 euros. Disney Pixar Cars 2 brand McQueen and Mack Trailer walkie-talkies, hardly used, 15 euros. Teletubbies DVDs, Musical Rhyme Time 2 euros. Ready Steady Dance, 2 euros. Time for Teletubbies, 2 euros, Naughty Noonoo, 2 euros, Aqui Llegan Los Teltubbies (also in English), 2 euros. Tweenies party games, laughs and giggles, 2 euros. Genuine Escada, black long-sleeved, pretty top with sequin, size 12-18 months, 8 euros. Tommee Tipee manual breast pump with box and instructions, 5 euros. Tel: 922 716 350 or 652 291 182 Trama white cot with mattress, 60 euros. Prenatal baby car seat & carrier 0-13kg, 20 euros. Child’s pushchair, 5 euros. Men’s leather jacket, 30 euros. 2 bedroom chairs, Queen Anne style, 40 euros for both. 2 single beds with mattresses and covers, 30 euros each. Fluorescent strip light, 5 euros. Pro electric car polisher/buffer, 15 euros. Brother electronic knitting machine KH910, full package, 180 euros. Wooden -framed chair/lounger, 20 euros. Earlex 4.5-litre steamer with many attachments, 25 euros. Black swivel office chair, 20 euros. Tel: 665 934 280, 662 354 391 or 680 366 217 Silver JVC portable radio, CD & cassette player, battery & mains with remote, 20 euros. Tel: 600 553 073.

Property for SALE

4 car lock-up garage for sale Golf del Sur. Tel: 637 819 680 or 922 709 984 Property for rent 3 bed apartment in El Medano, quiet area, bathroom, lounge with balcony, kitchen, washing machine, pool, parking space, €540 monthly electric & water extra, 1 month deposit required. Call 607 371 034.

Private Sale: Playa San Juan Spacious, sunny 2 bed apt, 5 minutes from beach, 78,000 euros. Tel: 922 710 675

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Classified

31st January 2014 - 6th February 2014

Property for rent (cont.)

Cars/BIKES (cont.)

49 CW

Air-conditioning

Jobs Brand new telemarketing company requires hard working money hungry Telephone Canvassers to create leads for a UK based utility company. The hours are Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm with a basic plus uncapped bonus. Please call 902 848 287 to book an interview for immediate start A resort in South West Tenerife requires a Personal Assistant to the Director / Administration. Must be a hard working, energetic, responsible person, admin experienced and computer literate. Mother tongue English and must speak Spanish, other languages a plus. Please send CV to: cvtobereceived@gmail.com Experienced Fractional Sales Representatives needed for established Resort for the beginning of their fractional launch. Excellent working conditions, great spiffs and incentives, Age 35-50. Please send CVs and references to justine@pearlygrey.com or greta@pearlygrey.com

Cars wanted CARS BOUGHT FOR CASH - Offer made once seen, we will come to you. WANTED small cars to medium cars, 4 X 4â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, small vans, people carriers, runners and non runners, accident damaged, etc. ANYTHING CONSIDERED.

Call us now on 678 451 641

Cars/BIKES 2007 Mercedes 280SLK Silver, 3000cc V6 engine, Tiptronic gearbox, one owner from new only 50,000 Kms. Owner leaving the island. 22,000 euros, call 922 718 061 Year 2000 renault megane coupe,1.4 very good mechanically, ITV oct 2014, 1450 euros including change of ownership and taxes.

Antiques ALADDINS CAVE. Antiques & Vintage Goods bought & sold Tel: 922 720 493

Blinds

Marketing office in Torviscas requires Czech / Slovak person with good English to work as part of a team, knowledge of computers an advantage You will be working with existing clients and be involved in new programs. Hours 9am till 4.30pm Monday to Friday. Salary plus commission. Please contact Sue on 922 714 632 or email c.v. to mail@destinationtenerife.com Oasis Fm requires a part time experienced Accounts Clerk for day to day book keeping and accountancy. Applicants must be fluent in both English and Spanish and have suitable knowledge of computing. Terms and conditions to be agreed. Please send your CV to jobs@oasisfm.com CLC World Resorts & Hotels are currently looking for professional, motivated, British sales consultants and Managers to join their In-house and Fly-Buy teams. Successful applicants will enjoy high volume commissions and fantastic quality resorts. Full training is provided. For a confidential interview, please call Kinder Singh on 659 067 438 or Christine Gibson on 607 849 900

Chiropodist Ann Malpass M.A.F.H.P. M.C.F.H.P. Qualified Chiropodist. All your foot care needs solved in the comfort of your own home/hotel. Tel 625 799 570 Elaine Watson Jones MSSCh MBChA - making happy feet between El Medano and Los Gigantes for 18 years. Tel: 608 029 790

Cleaning

Tel: 674 388 147

PERGEOT 107 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Dec 2009, 5 door, Triptronic gears, 16,000 km, immaculate, 4 new tyres, 4,900 euros. Tel: 693 867 248 or email: rigbygolf@talktalk.net

Elite Cleaning Services is an established cleaning company who can provide a professional cleaning service for Apartments, Villas and Offices. Call us today on 922 789 795 or 696 922 597.

CW 50

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Service Point

31st January 2014 - 6th February 2014

Electrician

CLUBS & SOCIETIES An opportunity for residents & holidaymakers to meet & socialise at the Restaurante Castañuelas, seafront, Los Cristianos near the Sunday market, 3 course meal with ½ bottle of wine for only 12 euros. To reserve call Nancy on 655 679 033. (closed after 18th December until 15th January).

Kitchens & bathrooms (Cont.) Colin Taylor – Renovations & Maintenance, Bathrooms, Kitchens, Tiling, Plumbing etc. (e.g. complete bathroom & kitchen refurbishments, including all materials & labour from under 2000 euros) Tel 661 081 843 for quotation.

Lawyers

Computers

Telephone: 922 736 728 E-mail: Computer Service Provider BT Authorised Dealer Dell Registered Partner

info@act-tenerife.com

Web:

www.act-tenerife.com

Construction Gardening

Mechanics

Garden Furniture

Patio Doors & Windows Health & Beauty www.fitnesswithdebbie.com Tel: 664 576 779 Yoga Vibe Tenerife. Complete Mind & Body workout! Classes throughout South Tenerife. Tel: 678 71 21 51

Insurance

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Service Point

31st January 2014 - 6th February 2014

Personal ServiceS

Pool tables

51 CW

security

Patricia a Venezuelan in Los Cristianos, true Photo, lets get together for an unbelievable time without limits, in front of the Hotel Aguamar, 24 hour service, hotel-home visits, call 610 127 223.

Removals UNIVERSAL EXPORTS S.L. PROFESSIONAL REMOVALS TO AND FROM THE U.K. Email: info@removals-tenerife.com Transport Licence: No. 11572932 C.I.F. No. B38820395 Tel: 922 720 711

repairs Gaby a Columbian girl, come & enjoy yourself with my natural French, erotic massage, no limits, 24 hour service, hotel-home visits. In front of the Hotel Aguamar in Los Cristianos. Call 660 938 631.

I am a good looking girl called Patricia who is willing to give you enjoyment to the limit! You will find me in front of the Hotel Aguamar, 24 hour service, hotel-home visits available, call 610 127 223.

Translation Second-hand Shops

Alejandra, the perfect lover, passionate, obliging, inmoral, abundance of pleasure without limit, 24 hour service, in front of the hotel Aguamar in Los Cristianos, hotel-home visits, call 650 442 665. English model, showgirl, professional striptease, quality service, general entertainment. Stag night, dominatrix, fetish, luxury conditions, visits 24 hours, escort service available, 697 227 139. Eva, the girl youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been looking for in Las Galletas, all services, to fulfill your fantasies, call now on 669 738 298. SISSY LOS CRISTIANOS SLIM, SEXY, DOMINATING GOODLOOKING, PRIVATE APARTMENT, CALL : 634 273 126. Very elegant young European couples for escort service, hotel visits and also private apartment available, 24 hours. Tel: (0034) 604 145 884 Please call to make appointment. Very attractive young ladies (Polish, Russian, Romanian) for escort service, hotel visits and also private apartment available, 24 hours. Tel (0034) 603 365 938. 2 friends in Las Galletas, slim, big breasts, erotic massage, obliging, fantasies, threesomes, lesbianism, call 669 738 298.

Furniture & Household Items bought for cash Immediate decisions

Phone Freddie 609 303 634

Nice, sporty, 30 plus, Spanish lady, certified masseur, toys and naughty lingerie also available. Discrete hotel/home visits. Reasonable prices. English speaking. Viagra available. Las Americas - Buzanada. Tel: 602 506 793.

Plumbing security

Boiler King: All plumbing works undertaken including boiler replacements, drain clearance, swimming pool pump repair & maintenance. Tel: 680 278 579

TENERIFE TRANSLATION SERVICES: Legally registered with over 25 years experience. Official, Medical, Notary, Wills, Utilities, Probate, Pensions, car paperwork and much more. Professionalism and confidentiality guaranteed. Transport available. Call Tracey on 666 857 991 or email on info@tenerifetranslationservices.com

TV and Satellite Menny Fix, Satellite TV Tel 922 792 116 Avnd; Antonio Dominguez 18, Edif: MarOLa Local 2, Los Cristianos. EST 1994, Repairs, Maintenance and Sales.

Windows

CW 52

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Sport

By Roscoe

31st January 2014 - 6th February 2014

Herculean win for CD Tenerife

Hercules 2 CD Tenerife 3 THIS was classic Tenerife. Just when you think they are in trouble and going backwards, they find a result like this.

At 10 past five last Sunday afternoon, and I’m not making this up, I had one of those moments where you don’t trust your brain. I see it, I understand it, but it just cannot be. The strap at the top of the screen said Hercules 0 CD Tenerife 2 after seven minutes of action. Bang! Wonderkid Ayoze Perez caught the home defence cold to steal the opener. Bang! With the hosts licking their wounds, up pops Carlos Ruiz to nick his second goal of the season. If Hercules were stunned, so were we! Blimey, what a difference a week makes. AfPosition

ter the 4-0 home thrashing by Alcorcon (who themselves were being turned over at home by rock-bottom Real Madrid Castilla), Tenerife suddenly looked like world-beaters. The usual “away” midfield of Sanz, Ricardo and Chechu were joined by Aday, who replaced the suspended Suso. And fair play to Aday, who had one of his best games for the club. Hercules were pulled apart by Ayoze’s speed and when they did have the ball, Tenerife were working hard to win it back. Had it been a horse Points

race, there would have been a stewards’ inquiry because Tenerife were everything they were not last weekend in Santa Cruz. I don’t know why, but Tenerife almost seem happier on the road, or in the air, this season. But the hosts were always going to find a way back into the match. Wise old owls Javi Portillo, Hector Yuste and well-travelled ex-Man City player Gai Assulin started to go through the gears as the first half wore on. And they had a life line just before the break. Portillo still needs only a F

1º RC Deportivo

PLD Won Draw Lost 23

2º Real Sporting

3º SD Eibar

7 29

4º Real Zaragoza

7 30

5º RC Recreativo

6º UD Las Palmas

7º RCD Mallorca

8º Córdoba CF

9º CD Lugo

8 25

10º CD Numancia

11º CE Sabadell FC

12º Real Murcia CF

13º CD Tenerife

9 23

14º SD Ponferradina

15º Real Jaén CF

10 27

16º AD Alcorcón

17º FC Barcelona B

18º Hércules CF

9 27

19º CD Mirandés

10 23

20º Deportivo Alavés

21º Girona FC

22º Real Madrid CF Castilla

13 23

half-chance, and his eye for goal changed the team talks at the break. “Keep it tight first 10 minutes,” would have been the mantra from coach Alvaro Cervera. But Tenerife lasted barely 10 seconds. The very first attack saw the ball sweep to Assulin, who couldn’t miss. Cervera’s face said it all. They had thrown it all away, and Hercules would spend the next half-an-hour chasing the win. But it never really happened for them. Aday had run himself into the ground, and the fresh legs of Cristo cut off one wing. Chechu was tracking back on the other, and when Inigo Ros made up a three-man midfield at the expense of Aridane, a draw was a heavy odds-on favourite. Yet, Cervera had one ace in the hole. Local lad Nano had a satisfactory debut last week and he was thrown on with 13 minutes to go. His mission was simple: run at the tired legs of the Hercules defence. Four minutes later and we had another hero. Nano’s slide-rule pass found fellow youngster Ayoze, who calmly slotted the ball past Falcon. The pair of them went nuts. They were jumping around like a couple of teenagers. Sorry! Credit goes to Director of Football Quique Medina and Cervera for blooding these two. The kids are all right.

They are saving the club a fortune, and the win pushed Tenerife out of the drop-zone and up to 13th. Centre-back Carlos Ruiz was delighted. “It was a great start and when I then got the second, we knew we would have to defend and hit them on the counter,” he said. “But those early goals have been psychologically important. This victory strengthens us emotionally, and we expect to take the three points in the next match.” Nano said: “I’m happy because I’m helping the team. The coach trusts me and I want to answer his questions. I saw Ayoze break and saw I could make the pass. I’m happy for him because he is very good player. “Actually, I felt more comfortable in this match than when I made my debut. My comrades have helped me and I thank them. We have come off a loss and we had a hard time. But we have a very good team and we’re a group who want to move and go forward.” The players were bouncing afterwards, and even a normallyreserved Ayoze Perez was talkative. “ I must highlight the team effort, and to get a win in a very challenging field reaffirms us as a team that can continue to improve,” he said. “We had strength, and their goals came from

small mistakes that are easy to improve. I have a connection to Nano. It was a decisive pass. I did not hesitate at any time. I hit the ball and we got the three points.” The thorny subject of his new contract has been raised this week and, while it’s not a priority, Ayoze said he understands the fans nervousness. “I’m happy,” he said. “On the subject of my renewal, you have to have patience.” Quique Medina said: “I have been very busy trying to arrange new signings and players leaving, so it’s not something we have had any real time to address. But we will after a few days.” He is referring to the closing of the transfer window, and he has been busy. Experienced Ayoze Diaz has returned after 12 years, and he fills the problem left-back slot. The former Deportivo man said it was an easy deal to make, adding: “Since I was called about the chance to come back, both the club and I put on our best heads to reach an agreement, so it was easy. “I am very happy to be here. With the desire that I have and the way the fans are, I hope it goes really well.” Diaz has been joined by Edgar Mendez, who can play as a wide player, just off the striker, or as the main man. At 6ft 2ins, he is just the sort of player to aid Ayoze. He has joined from La Liga Almeria, and had a short spell at Real Jaen. Mendez, who seems a back-up option, replaces Guillem Marti who has left to try his luck in Greece. Also on the move is Salva Ruiz. The young defender clearly has talent, but is not physically ready for the demands of this league. He returns to Valencia and will surely be loaned out again.

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The countdown to glory WITH just seven weeks of the league season remaining, we are getting right down to the nittygritty.

collapse, will be a welcome addition to the top flight. They will almost certainly be joined by Gaffers B, but Emerald Lounge and Chipeque still have

some unfinished business in the battle for promotion. Amistad 1 and Marilyns are on the verge of the drop, but the other relegation spot is by

no means decided. Barracuda Bytes have a horrendous run-in, with six of their last eight matches against teams in the top half of the table. After a storming

Bar 180 A and Palms Sports Bar, still battling it out at the top of the Premier League, have to play each other twice during the run-in, while the third place pot seems destined for The Pub or Phoenix Bar. Down at the bottom, Gaffers A, Ourplace Playboys and Scruffy Macs are well adrift and, seemingly, doomed. Rood have been top of Division 1 for almost the whole season and, barring a complete

PRemier division ResultS

La Caña Pirates Ourplace Naturals Phoenix Bar Target Army Vikings Ensecan

Division 1 ResultS

5-3 6-2 5-3 1-7 8-0

Ourplace Playboys Scruffy Macs Target Titans Bar 180 A Gaffers A

Amistad 1 Bar 180 B Barracuda Bytes Gaffers B Naughty Nautas

Premier Division Table

Division 1 Table

Table P W D L F A +- PTS 1 Bar 180 A 25 21 3 1 157 43 114 157 2 Palms Sports Bar 25 19 2 4 144 56 88 144 3 Phoenix Bar 26 17 6 3 137 71 66 137 4 The Pub 26 17 3 6 133 75 58 133 5 Target Army 26 14 4 8 124 84 40 124 6 Target Titans 26 9 5 12 96 112 -16 96 7 La Caña Pirates 26 10 3 13 95 113 -18 95 8 Vikings Ensecan 26 7 5 14 94 114 -20 94 9 Ourplace Naturals 26 9 4 13 94 114 -20 94 10 Gaffers A 26 3 5 18 58 150 -92 58 11 Ourplace Playboys 26 2 5 19 55 153 -98 55 12 Scruffy Macs 26 2 5 19 53 155 -102 53

Table 1 Rood 2 Gaffers B 3 Emerald Lounge 4 Chipeque Pool Bar 5 Bar 180 B 6 Bar 180 C 7 Trap Door 8 Naughty Nautas 9 Barracuda Bytes 10 Summerland 11 Marilyns 12 Amistad 1

campaign, Tenerife Sun will be promoted from Division 2 within the next couple of matches, while new boys Emerald Shamrocks, who must be delighted with their debut in the league, won’t be far behind them. Third place looks a tricky one, with La Caña Lancers holding on to it with a game in hand over Picasso’s. The problem for the Lancers is that they have to travel to Tenerife Sun twice during the next three fixtures. Lastly, we have the gallant Playgirls propping up everyone. They turn up every week, enjoy the darts, enjoy the evening … and a few Strongbows!

It’s what this league is all about. John Lowe Team Handicap Trophy results Tenerife Sun 5 Bar 180 B 2, Gaffers B v Summerland (p) Bar 180 A 6 Pas O Nadas 1 Bar 180 D v Sundowners (p) Plate results Phoenix Flights 5 Phoenix Bar 2 Barracuda Hunters v Picasso’s (p) Target Army 4 Target Titans 3 Amistad 1 3 Marilyns 4 *Some matches were postponed to enable players to attend Showtime’s fantastic darts exhibition night. Read more about that elsewhere in the paper.

Division 2 ResultS

2-6 5-3 3-5 5-3 1-7

Rood Marilyns Summerland Emerald Lounge Chipeque Pool Bar

Bar 180 D 6-2 Amistad 2 Emerald Shamrocks 7-1 Ourplace Playgirls Pas ‘O’ Nadas 3-5 La Caña Lancers Picassos 3-5 Barracuda Hunters Sundowners Bar 1-7 Tenerife Sun The Rebels 4-4 Phoenix Flights Division 2 Table

P W D L F A +- PTS 27 21 5 1 145 71 74 145 27 18 5 4 136 80 56 136 26 14 4 8 124 84 40 124 27 14 3 10 121 95 26 121 26 12 6 8 109 99 10 109 26 9 7 10 108 100 8 108 26 7 11 8 103 105 -2 103 26 6 7 13 96 112 -16 96 26 9 6 11 95 113 -18 95 26 7 6 13 88 120 -32 88 26 4 3 19 72 136 -64 72 27 3 5 19 67 149 -82 67

Table P W D L F A +- PTS 1 Tenerife Sun 26 19 5 2 150 58 92 150 2 Emerald Shamrocks 26 19 2 5 135 73 62 135 3 La Caña Lancers 26 14 6 6 118 90 28 118 4 Picassos 27 11 8 8 116 100 16 116 5 Pas ‘O’ Nadas 27 12 3 12 110 106 4 110 6 Bar 180 D 27 11 7 9 107 109 -2 107 7 The Rebels 27 11 5 11 106 110 -4 106 8 Sundowners Bar 26 11 4 11 104 104 0 104 9 Barracuda Hunters 26 8 3 15 94 114 -20 94 10 Phoenix Flights 26 7 8 11 91 117 -26 91 11 Amistad 2 26 6 5 15 82 126 -44 82 12 Ourplace Playgirls 26 0 2 24 51 157 -106 51

FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE I HAVE looked for many words to describe this year’s Premier League, and, although it’s not the most exciting word, “unpredictable” sums it up perfectly. It is getting more difficult each week as a Fantasy League manager to pick a squad, work on transfers and settle on a team. Results are all over the place, points from top to bottom are very close

and individual players are shining. This week’s “Dream Team” was another mix of players from various clubs, Liverpool were well represented with three players making the team, but only one from Man City - Edin Dzeko, the week’s top point-scorer. So what of the Oasis Fm Fantasy League? Well, it is getting a little old-hat each week,

but still top of the pile is Steve Schofield’s Tenerife Hotspurs, who leads Andy Palmer’s Prem Sat Utd by 98 points. But the law of averages states he will have a few bad weeks, so maybe there is a chance to reel him in. No change at the bottom, either, with Per Kersoe nailed on for the wooden spoon! This week’s Team of the Week title goes

to one of our female managers, and the honour is bestowed upon Katerina Brookshaw’s Czech This Out, who scored an impressive 77 points. So now it’s time to work out this weekend’s team, and I’ll be thinking a little bit cleverer this week, as I have been studying Big Sam Allardyce’s Guide to 19th Century Football!

Top Ten standings Pos

team name

player

this week

total pts

Tenerife Hotspur

Steven Schofield

1,470

Premier Sat Utd

Andy Palmer

1,372

Summerland Saints

Jeff Hall

1,370

The Spartans

Jamie Palmer

1,347

Shankly’s Best

Michael Dwyer

1,340

Over land and sea

Paul Tregent

1,339

Burghill Rovers

Stephen Snook

1,330

Blacktower Finance

Laura Mann

1,304

@Jony_TF

Jonay Diaz

1,303

Run-DMC-11

David Clarke

1,294

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Hammers and Gaffers march on IT is still incredibly tight at the top of Division One, and this really is going to be a case of who blinks first between Hammers A and Gaffers A. Still only a point separates the two teams, and it’s difficult to predict the eventual winner because the teams will meet each other in early April. Hammers A kept their place at the top of the table with a victory over Phoenix Potters in Los Abrigos. But they had to work hard for the points, and it is one game they will be pleased to have put behind them. Gaffers A kept up the pressure with a win against Palms A. The scoreline depicts a comfortable win but,

apparently, it doesn’t tell the whole story. Their captain Neil said: “We certainly had a bit of luck tonight. But that’s pool!” Phoenix Knights, who had a stuttering start to the season, look comfortable now for third place, brushing aside Hammers C 10-2, Fellow Los Abrigons La Caña A, who had hopes of third place themselves, went down 10-2 to Treehouse A. It was a rough night for the La Caña lads - and I believe Sergio is still sulking! Dreamers A kept up their good form in Los Cristianos with a win against Exiles A. They have moved nicely away from the relegation fight after having

Tenerife Pool Tables Cup - 2 -Round Draw Exiles A v Dreamers A Toscales B v Hammers C Next Door v Hoppys James Place v Gaffers B Phoenix Potters v Inn The P B Gaffers A v Toscales A Palms B v Phoenix Knights Hammers A v Terrace A nd

Tenerife Pool Tables Plate - 1st Round Bluebell B v Bluebell A Picasso’s v Treehouse B Inn The Pink A v Gaffers C Terrace B v Exiles B Peacocks v 2JZs Kandi 13 v Palms A La Caña A v La Caña B TPT v Treehouse A

Division 2 results

Division 1 Results Toscales A Bar La Cana A Dreamers A Palms Bar A Phoenix Potters Tenerife Hammers C Terrace Bar A Toscales A The Treehouse A

7-5 Terrace Bar A 2-10 The Treehouse A 8-4 Exiles A 4-8 Gaffers A 5-7 Tenerife Hammers A 2-10 Phoenix Knights 6-6 The Peacocks 3-9 Inn The Pink A 5-7 Toscales A

Division 1 Table

9-3 Bluebell A 4-8 Terrace Bar B 8-4 Next Door 9-3 Bar La Cana B 7-5 Toscales B 5-7 Picasso’s A 8-4 Tenerife Pool Tables 12-0 Cosy Corner A 5-7 Kandi 13

Division 2 table

Table P W D L F A +- PTS 1 Tenerife Hammers A 22 19 1 2 175 89 86 58 2 Gaffers A 22 18 3 1 176 88 88 57 3 Phoenix Knights 22 11 6 5 154 110 44 39 4 Bar La Cana A 22 10 4 8 127 137 -10 34 5 Phoenix Potters 20 9 5 6 118 122 -4 32 6 Inn The Pink A 22 9 3 10 141 123 18 30 7 Dreamers A 21 8 4 9 125 127 -2 28 8 Exiles A 21 8 4 9 124 128 -4 28 9 Palms Bar A 22 7 5 10 125 139 -14 26 10 The Treehouse A 20 7 4 9 119 121 -2 25 11 Terrace Bar A 22 6 4 12 109 155 -46 22 12 The Peacocks 21 6 3 12 108 144 -36 21 13 Tenerife Hammers C 22 5 2 15 114 150 -36 17 14 Toscales A 23 2 4 17 97 179 -82 10 an awful start to the season. Toscales A are still bottom of the table, but they won a couple of games this week. Following on from their win over Treehouse A, they lost at home to Inn the Pink A on Tuesday, before getting another win on Wednesday, again at home. They grabbed three points with victory over the Terrace Bar Suicide Squad, who really are living up to that name. It comes to something when captain Adi

Palms Bar B 2JZ Bluebell B Exiles B Gaffers C Hoppys Bar Inn The Pink B James Place Shorty’s

is your best stick. He won all three against Toscales, and won the last frame to salvage a draw against The Peacocks on Tuesday. In Division Two, things are also still tight. Inn the Pink B are top dogs, keeping up their title quest with a comfortable win over Tenerife Pool Table. Palms B kept up the pressure with a smooth win over Bluebell A, and James Place are also there. Bluebell B and Gaffers B are both in with a chance of gate-crashing the promotion plac-

Table P W D L F A +- PTS 1 Inn The Pink B 21 16 3 2 163 89 74 51 2 Palms Bar B 20 16 2 2 164 76 88 50 3 James Place 21 15 3 3 173 79 94 48 4 Bluebell B 19 14 1 4 131 97 34 43 5 Gaffers B 18 13 3 2 141 75 66 42 6 Exiles B 20 12 3 5 149 91 58 39 7 Bluebell A 21 10 5 6 139 113 26 35 8 Kandi 13 21 10 5 6 132 120 12 35 9 Terrace Bar B 21 10 4 7 141 111 30 34 10 Hoppys Bar 20 9 6 5 128 112 16 33 11 2JZ 20 9 4 7 126 114 12 31 12 Toscales B 21 8 2 11 115 137 -22 26 13 Gaffers C 20 6 6 8 118 122 -4 24 14 Tenerife Pool Tables 21 7 3 11 117 135 -18 24 15 Next Door 20 6 2 12 110 130 -20 20 16 Bar La Cana B 19 5 1 13 90 138 -48 16 17 Treehouse B 19 5 0 14 90 138 -48 15 18 Cosy Corner A 18 3 1 14 55 161 -106 10 19 Picasso’s A 19 2 3 14 80 148 -68 9 20 Shorty’s 20 2 1 17 80 160 -80 7 21 Dreamers B 19 1 2 16 66 162 -96 5 es, as they both have games in hand over the teams above them. Bluebell B took the points from their game against Next Door, but Gaffers B were not in action. Down at the bottom, Shorty’s could not help their cause, losing at home to Kandi 13, and Bar La Caña B couldn’t overcome Exiles B.

In a mid-table clash, Gaffers C took the points from Tosclaes B, while 2JZ’s had a disappointing night at home against Terrace Bar B, who could give a few tips to their A team! Next week sees a return to the Tenerife Pool Tables Cup and Plate Competitions.

Super Bowl’s freezing farce? IT’S Super Bowl weekend, and this year’s extravaganza could be one to remember. Around 160 million Americans will settle down to watch the Seattle Seahawks and the Denver Broncos lock horns. Traditionally, the Super Bowl is played in warm-weather states, but this year’s Super Bowl XLVIII is being staged in the cold.

The huge Metlife Stadium, just outside New York City, hosts what is being called a gamble for the NFL. So why the controversy? Well, in brief, it’s freezing in New York! Many purists feel the icy conditions will make the match a farce. As you can imagine, cold temperatures make scoring tricky - and in freezing conditions, it

can turn into a lottery. American Football has a unique rule when it comes to weather. If the ref can stand underneath one goal and see the other, the match is on, regardless of temperature or the state of the pitch. Imagine that in the Premier League. And it’s the same for the spectators. Foul weather has claimed many a match in

England because of health and safety. Again, that’s not the case in the US. If the weather is not a factor, then this could be a classic match as there is little to choose between the two sides. It’s Seattle’s firstever Super Bowl, and the neutrals will be screaming them home. They are a powerful side, designed to blast the life out of

you. They are mean, aggressive and have handled the pre-season expectations in style. The Denver Broncos are Super Bowl veterans. This is their seventh Bowl and they won twice during the glory years of legendary quarterback John Elway. Even the most oneeyed Broncos’ fan would never have thought they would ever have a better

QB, but in Peyton Manning they have the best ever. The 37-year-old made his name at the Indianapolis Colts and, after a careerthreatening injury sidelined him for a year, it looked all over. But he has roared back with the Broncos, and there will not be a dry eye in America if he were to win his second Super Bowl.

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31st January 2014 - 6th February 2014

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Premier League Review By Adi Benson WE got through the FA Cup weekend without too many giants being killed, and there was a full round of midweek Premier League matches. Liverpool slapped down Mersey rivals Everton, Southampton secured an excellent point against Arsenal side, while Man City gave a master class to Spurs. And West Ham earned a point at Chelsea, despite touching the ball about nine times in all!. So what does this weekend hold? West Ham v Swansea (Saturday, 12.45pm) West Ham have apparently invented “No Possession” football: they go through games without touching the ball but still emerge with a point! They’re in the bottom three, they need results and Swansea did see off a poor Fulham side in their last game, which was their first win in 12. Their tails will be up and they will fancy this game. Prediction: Away win Newcastle v Sunderland (Saturday, 12.45pm) Newcastle got a point against Norwich, while Sunderland beat Stoke and moved out of the relegation places. But rip up the form book - this is a North East Derby. I In the words of the next Mrs Benson, Ellie Goulding: “Anything could happen.” This should be a full blood-and-guts encounter. Newcastle sold Cabaye this week, and Sunderland are so confident, with a Wembley cup final to look forward to. The big factor will be the home support; there really is no under-estimating the 12th man, especially the Geordies! Prediction: Home win Stoke v Man Utd (Saturday, 3pm) So ‘Sparky’ Hughes takes on his old club at the Brittania after not having the best of weeks. Knocked out of

the FA Cup by Chelsea, beaten in the league by Sunderland … and now Man Utd roll in to town. Stoke will need a strong home performance if they are to get anything from this game. United took three points against Cardiff, managed by another old boy, but again looked far from convincing. This will provide a tougher test, but United fans, buoyant after the return of RVP and the introduction of £37m Juan Mata from Chelsea, will believe the three points are for the taking. Prediction: Draw Hull v Spurs (Saturday, 3pm) Hull had a great first half of the season, but they’ve been off-form for some weeks and should be casting worried glances over their shoulder. A midweek defeat at Crystal Palace must have hurt and they need to bounce back quickly. Spurs will be licking their wounds after a 5-1 mauling by Man City. Time and again this season, Hull have been difficult to beat at home,

so Tim Sherwood will have to get his tactics right. Prediction: Away win Fulham v Southampton (Saturday, 3pm) Rumours abound that Fulham will be sponsored by Help the Aged next season as their squad is so old., and it’s difficult to see them surviving this season. Home form is always critical, but Fulham’s has been poor, which is why they are languishing at the bottom. Southampton are back on track. A great draw against Arsenal, and they looked the better team, will give them a confidence boost and they will see nothing more than three points at Fulham. Prediction: Away win Everton v Aston Villa (Saturday, 3pm) Nothing stings like a Derby defeat, and Everton will be hurting. The flip side is that nothing gives a confidence boost like a Derby win, and Villa will be bouncing after beating West Brom on Wednesday. This is a real test of

Roberto Martinez’s management skills because he needs to pick his players up and get them back into a winning mentality. Everton are difficult to beat at home, so Villa will have to be at their best. But how much of a loss will Lukaku prove to be for Everton? Prediction: Away win Cardiff v Norwich (Saturday, 3pm) Both teams had difficult midweek games, but Norwich would have been the happier of the two teams after picking up a point against Newcastle. Cardiff were beaten by

an average Man Utd side, and this is now a must-win game for them. They’re rooted to the bottom of the league and need to start amassing points - or start preparing for life in the Championship. However, it is so close at the bottom, with just six points covering 10th place downtown to Cardiff, a win for either side could see a climb up the table. Prediction: Draw West Brom v Liverpool (Sunday, 1.30pm) West Brom will be wondering how, after being two goals up inside 10 minutes, they lost to local rivals Villa. But Liverpool are still on cloud nine after strolling to a win over Everton. Pepe Mel needs to ensure his defence stands strong against a strong Liverpool attack. while Brendan Rodgers is a manager who learns from his mistakes. He got his team selection against Villa wrong two weeks ago but got it right against Everton, and he will be looking for a similar performance. Prediction: Away win Arsenal v Crystal Palace (Sunday, 4pm) A tough midweek game against Southampton cost Arsenal

two points and Flamini a red card, so they will be looking to get back to winning ways against a Palace side who have moved themselves nicely up the table. A good three points against Hull last time out has seen them rise to 14th place, putting a little distance between them and the relegation places. However, Arsenal will be too strong for them, so they will be hoping the teams below them don’t pick points up. Prediction: Home win Man City v Chelsea (Monday, 8pm) Games don’t come much bigger than this one - and it could, in effect, end Chelsea’s title challenge. It takes a brave man to bet against City at home, especially with their attacking line-up. Jose Mourinho may need to park the team bus in front of the Chelsea goal as his defence have not been at their best this season. Or he could call up his mate Big Sam and get some tips on 19th century football. City will go into this game full of confidence. Chelsea have a decent attacking lineup - but if City keep that nullified, the points are theirs. Prediction: Home win

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