Cw issue 947

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WORLD Exclusive!

Issue 947

Britons facing a Tenerife exit

1st April - 7th April 2016

THE world´s leading European Union Constitutional Expert has dropped a major bombshell, just a couple of months before Britain’s EU referendum vote.

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1st April - 7th April 2016

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Is the Tenerife dream over?

Continued from front British ex-pats will be forced to sell up and leave Tenerife if the vote is to leave the European Union, says Snr Juan Broma.

After spending the last six months pouring over European Union law, he told Canarian Weekly exclusively that there is no way we can stay here.

“I don´t know why people are confused on this matter.,” he said. “It really is very simple. If you British think you can do things on your own, and you vote to leave, then you literally vote to leave.

“You have no rights to live here whatsoever. The EU will be within their rights to enforce clause 01-04 of the constitution. This means you will have a year, maybe less, to sell up and move back to the UK before all your assets become the legal right of Spain and the EU.” This shock development will stun the 80,000 hard-working, tax-paying Brits who live in Tenerife. It was assumed that we would be able to carry on as normal if the LEAVE vote won the day.

But Juan Broma says that is not the case, although he did reveal a few exceptions.

“As is always the case with EU laws, there are a few ways for you to dodge the bullet and remain here,” he said.

“First of all, if you are a home or apartmentowner and have been so for 20 years, you can stay … but not if you own a studio or a caravan.

Secondly, if you have a child who was born in Tenerife before 1985, and

you can prove you have paid all the correct childsupport, you can stay.

“If you own a business with a full, legallystamped opening licence, you can also live in Tenerife.

“There are a couple of other ways. You can stay if both your parents live here and they are over the age of 85.”

Despite these encouraging clauses, it seems that most of us will have to leave, which has outraged many in our community.

We spoke with Joseph King, who is praying the Brits vote to stay in the

EU. “This is a bloody outrage,” he said. “I have been living in Tenerife for donkey’s years. I started off as a PR and worked my way up to glass collector.

“I have worked really hard to live here. Over the years, I have spent countless hours updating and changing my residencia, renewing NIE documents every month,

trying every avenue to get a travel document from the town hall, and all for what? So they can just chuck us out?”

The 23rd June EU referendum is remarkably close, and opinion polls show that the LEAVE camp is making real headway.

And, says Juan Broma, this means the countdown to departure is already underway.

“If it´s a No to staying in the EU on 23rd June, you will have a year to leave,” he stresses.

“One full calendar year.

“If Brits give Spain and the EU the old Spanish archer, the El-Bow, then you must leave by 24th June 2017. Remember, you must practise what you preach. Many Brits don´t want illegal immigrants to take jobs from locals and tax-payers and it will be the same in Spain.

“If you are out of the EU then you must leave.

Catch the boat to Cadiz, jump on a plane, whatever. You are out.”

The shock “get out” ruling has led some to believe that the EU vote

is all part of a big conspiracy theory.

In Westminster, we tracked down Lord Lirpa Loof, who told Canarian Weekly that this may be a part of something bigger. “I´m not the least bit surprised,” he said. “Look, this is just a smokescreen. I reckon that if the vote is to LEAVE, the Government will just do a deal.

They’ll something like, ‘let´s swap Tenerife for Gibraltar.’”

And there are also financial implications.

One money expert, Mr Crystal Ball, told us “This could be a disaster. If all the Brits have to leave, the value of their homes will plummet. And the knock-on effect will hit those who are lucky enough to stay. But who will drink all the low-grade, oneeuro-a-pint beer, or the cartons of wine?

“There will be thousands of unsold twoeuro breakfasts, and all-you-can-eat six-euro buffets.”

In response to this story, the government has set up a free phone hotline. It is 900-01-04-16 and calls cost just two euros a minute. There is also a website www.aprilfoolsday.com.

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Fracking ban possible THE Congress of Deputies, Spain’s lower house of parliament, have adopted a draft law which, if carried, will ban oil and gas companies from production involving hydraulic fracturing, known as fracking.

It was proposed by the Left Republicans of Catalonia party, and supported by the parliamentary majority. Two parties - the right-wing conservative People’s Party, and the centre-right regionalist Asturias Forum - voted against the proposal. The Citizens’ party abstained from voting.

The law requires the Government to ban all fracking-related activi-

ties, citing environmental concerns.

Over 120 companies have been granted a licence for fracking across Spain. Canadian energy company, BNK, which plans to extract oil in the Burgos province, is ready to start work in late 2016.

Fracking is a process in which water, mixed with chemicals, is pumped underground at high pressure, to break apart rock formations which block the flow of oil - or natural gas - to the wellhead.

Environmental groups have warned, repeatedly, that chemical residues, left over from fracking, contaminate underground supplies of drinking water.

Easter road tragedies IT has been another tragic holiday period on Spanish roads, with 41 people dying in 28 major accidents between Good Friday and Easter Monday.

And, according to data from the General Directorate of Traffic (DGT), the figures are worse than last year.

Seven more people died, even though the number of major accidents decreased by five.

But the figures are a little spiked because Easter was marked by a Tarragona bus accident, in which 13 young foreigners travelling from Valencia to Barcelona were killed.

Transplant generosity CANARIAN hospitals have performed more than 7,800 transplants since 1982, thanks to the selfless and generous gesture of 1,721 donors and their families.

This figure was announced by the Ministry of Health of the Canary Islands Government to mark international Day of Transplantation.

Canaries’ Health Service (SCS) chief Roberto Moreno congratulated the transplant beneficiaries, and thanked the work of those who performed the opera-

tions, as well as the gesture of donors and their families.

A Ministry of Health statement recognised that in 1982, the kidney transplant programme at the University Hospital of the Canary Islands (HUC), which houses the University Children’s Hospital Materno-Insular Complex, was launched.

Up to 31st December last year, there were 2,853 kidney transplants.

In addition, since 1996, the Candelaria hospital has completed 593 liver transplants.

And since 2002, the HUC has conducted nearly 100 pancreas transplants.

1st April - 7th April 2016

Rajoy’s about-turn!

MARIANO Rajoy, Spain’s acting Prime Minister, has performed an about-turn and will now report to parliament on his latest European Council meetings, having refused previously to have his caretaker government overseen.

The dispute between parliament and Rajoy’s People’s Party (PP), which lost its parliamentary majority in a December national election, has added to political deadlock in the country, which has been without a government for more than 100 days.

He simply would not answer to a parliament which, he said, did not support him.

That means many bills passed have not become law.

Now, though, Rajoy, who had declined to inform parliament about previous EU meetings, such as one on expulsion of refugees to Turkey, yielded to pressure from opposition parties on Tuesday and said he would appear before lawmakers on Wednesday (6th April).

Rajoy told Onda Cero radio: “It will be an informative hearing to

tell the public what was discussed in Brussels, and to say that I have listened and defended Spain’s mandate, according to parliament.”

He said his shift did not represent a Uturn from his previous stance, and that he would still contest parliament’s control over his government.

Spanish parties have failed to form a govern-

ment after more than three months of fruitless negotiations - and two unsuccessful parliamentary votes to back a coalition led by the Socialists, the second-largest party.

On Wednesday, Socialist leader Pedro Sanchez met Pablo Iglesias, head of anti-austerity party Podemos, in an attempt to find a breakthrough in negotiations.

Iglesias has so far refused to join Sanchez’s proposed “government of change” with Ciudadanos, the other newcomer party.

Parties have until 2nd May to produce an alternative majority, or parliament will be dissolved and Spaniards will have to return to the ballot box, probably in late June.

Opinion polls show that a new election would be likely to deliver a similarly-fractured result as in December.

Which would again leave Spain without a government!

Job-flop project

by Government THE Spanish Government’s star initiative to help the long-term unemployed has fallen significantly short of its goals.

Slightly over 25% of all estimated potential beneficiaries - 105,544 out of 400,000 - are collecting their monthly 426-euro pay-cheques.

And though the Government set aside 1.2bn euros for the project, just 182m has been spent ahead of the programme’s 15th April close, according to Labour Ministry figures.

The Employment Activation Plan was the only major initiative of the past political term to enjoy a broad consensus from social agents.

The UGT and CCOO labour unions and the CEOE and Cepyme employer associations, together with Labour Minister Fátima Báñez,

signed the agreement in December 2014, witnessed by then Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy.

In theory, it was to be a stepping stone to a more ambitious plan: the reorganisation of all the various state, regional and local subsidies to make the system more efficient.

But the programme, which began on 15th January last year, has failed to meet its own goals, with scarcely 15% of the allocated budget spent.

Data also shows that 14,000 participants only, who collected the check for six months, went on to rejoin the job market.

The project was fraught with problems from the beginning. The public employment services originally restricted eligibility to individuals who had previously collected all other existing unemployment subsidies, in a bid to make the cheque a last-resort option.

The unions complained, and the Government back-tracked. But of the 52,135 applications turned down, around 20% were still rejected for that reason.

“The only explanation I can find is that the Government had no interest in actually spending the allocated credit,” says Carlos Bravo, head of public policies at the CCOO labour union. “In other words, the political will was missing” His UGT colleague, Mari Carmen Barrera, feels the same way, adding: “It is the result of a policy. If this Government’s first step was to fire the 2,000 job counsellors hired by the previous Government, it means that it doesn’t believe in these types of measures.”

Both experts note that the Labour Ministry repeatedly ignored their suggestion that potential beneficiaries of the plan should be sent a let-

ter with information.

Two weeks ago, the unions asked for a programme extension and requested a meeting with the Government.

So far, only the second request has been granted, although the meeting will not take place until “a couple of weeks from now”, according to sources in the executive.

The Labour Ministry is not offering any explanations for the plan’s poor performance, and a spokesman said it has asked regional governments - in charge of implementing employment policies - to come up with their own assessments.

There are nearly two million jobless people in Spain who are not collecting any unemployment benefits, according to state employment agency SEPE. But the National Statistics Institute’s Active Population Survey (EPA) puts this figure at 3.5 million.

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1st April - 7th April 2016

JUST days after the Brussels’ terrorist attacks, Spain’s Minister for Home Affairs, Jorge Fernández Díaz, attended the Extraordinary Meeting of the European Union Justice and Home Affairs Council (JHA).

As a show of strength, it was held in the Belgian capital - and the message could not have been stronger!

“Defeating terrorism will require a constant and long-term effort from the European Union, as well as close co-operation with our partners and allies”, said Díaz.

During his speech, the minister expressed his sincere condolences for the victims of the 22nd March terrorist attacks in Brussels and offered Spain’s support and assistance to the Bel-

We are committed to beating the terrorists

gian authorities in their fight against terrorism.

Diaz said: “This was an attack against our democratic ways of life, not only against Belgium but against all of us.”

He stressed that terrorism was, currently,

the greatest show of aggression against the European Union and, therefore, required ongoing support for the measures adopted to combat this threat.

And he highlighted the essential need to adopt the Framework

Regional approval for modernisation scheme ADEJE Council has approved a number of plans under the PMMI - the plan for improvements and growth - which could soon see upgrades to zones in Callao Salvaje, Playa Paraíso and La Caleta.

According to Adeje Urban Councillor José María Álvarez Acostain, the plans will form part of the regeneration of tourist areas and establishments in the borough.

“The plan opens up the door to a range of possibilities to ensure that the borough of Adeje continues to be a competitive destination, both from a tourism point of view as well as from the business development viewpoint,” he said.

“The full document will give Adeje room to develop and act, which is a step forward and will benefit everyone in the borough.” The plan addresses “projects covering public and private spaces in terms of improvements

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that will energise the tourist centre along the lines of the overall territorial plan”.

Among the potential projects the plan could see activated are the creation of a new maritime pathway along La Enramada, in La Caleta, improvements to the access path by Las Salinas, in Playa Paraíso, and also the creation of a proper pathway along the Callao Salvaje coastline.

There is also approval for street upgrades to

Calle La Lava in Callao Salvaje, improvements to the pedestrian area by the Ajabo beach, and the link between Callao Salvaje and Playa Paraíso.

There is mention of improvements and changes to certain sections of La Caleta’s Calle Las Artes, and Calle El Jable, in Callao Salvaje.

Finally, the plan has approved a road-building project, connecting the Iboibo sector with Callao Salvaje village.

Decision on Terrorism at the Justice Council because legislation must be standardised at a Europe-wide level, specifically including the characteristic offences of Jihadi terrorism.

As regards the exchange of information, he underscored January’s creation of the European CounterTerrorism Centre and recalled that “Spain has contributed to this effort” by sending additional personnel to EUROPOL with counterterrorism experience - both to the Liaison Office and the “Fraternité” Special Group, set up to support the investigations stemming from the Paris attacks.

Within the framework of these measures, Díaz underlined the “significant progress” being made in the fight against illegal armstrafficking and violent radicalisation, and

asked his partners “to expedite efforts on the lines of action we have set”.

He also called for additional efforts to improve border control, as well as increased and better use of SIS II for the exchange of information.

He also spotlighted the need for greater interoperability between EU databases, and to build greater co-operation between the relevant European Union agencies.

In short, the Spanish Home Affairs Minister reiterated the need for effective execution of the measures already identified because, “faced with terrorist threats and attacks, we must react with actions; in other words, effective solutions”.

In the final part of his speech, Jorge Fernández Díaz said: “Our experience shows us that this terrorism can be defeated.

“This requires a firm,

political and social commitment, decisive and constant police and judicial action, as well as essential overseas support through international co-operation.”

Along this line, he conveyed to his European colleagues the need to give a voice to the victims of terrorist attacks because, he said: “They are especially capable of impressing on public opinion the need for a firm rejection of terrorist violence.”

Finally, Díaz said: “Defeating terrorism will require a constant and long-term effort from the European Union, as well as close co-operation with our partners and allies.”

He cited the importance of the Declaration adopted last Thursday by the EU Home Affairs Ministers, saying: “It reflects our firm commitment to the fight against terrorism and to democracy.”

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1st April - 7th April 2016

Billboards

banned IT seems you cannot drive along any Tenerife road these days without seeing a plethora of advertising billboards … and the authorities have now had enough!

The Cabildo has given the green light to the withdrawal of up to 80 hoardings in the vicinity of main roads. Officials say it is because of the risk they pose to road safety, and also because they “threaten the environment, landscape and tourist image of the Island”.

Miguel Becerra, insular director of Public Works, announced the

measure, saying this action was being undertaken “quickly and urgently”.

The removal order was agreed unanimously by all political groups in Parliament in a rare action of togetherness.

Becerra said: “The need to act as quickly as possible was universally agreed as we need to halt this plague.”

He added: “Ending the indiscriminate and massive proliferation of these billboards is one of the priorities of the Roads and Landscape department. We have been looking at this since last summer.”

The first phase will see the removal of 80 billboards, 20 of which

are located on the TF5, TF-1 and TF-4. Another 15 are being processed for removal, and the Cabildo has asked for the “voluntary withdrawal by advertising companies”.

Becerra said a further 45 hoardings would be taken from stretches of the TF-1, TF-5 and TF-2 this month.

The insular director stressed: “The intention is to have all the removal measures in place as soon as possible, and we can then make sure they are all removed within 15 days.

“We are convinced this will prevent further spread of this plague of billboards, and other distractions on the roads.”

There are jobs around - if you want to work MORE than 1,350 people found work through Adeje initiatives last year, to the delight of local Job Creation Councillor Manuel Luis Méndez Martín.

“Job creation is our priority” said Méndez Martín, also responsible for Adeje’s Economic Development, who met recently with representatives of the business sector to review last year’s employment creation and training.

Of the total of people back in work last year, more than 75% lived in Adeje. Most found work in hostelry (4031%), the service industry (19.19%), shops (13.47%) and agriculture (8.21%).

The others found em-

ployment in construction, sales and industry.

And the Island-wide nature of the local employment agency, and training courses, resulted in people from other boroughs, including Guía de Isora, Arona and Granadilla, benefiting.

There were successful courses aimed at those on the margins of society, and in danger of social exclusion. Some of these were run in conjunction with the Red Cross, and 92 individuals were placed in jobs.

Training programmes were created for young people with no formal qualifications, and more than 100 are now in their first jobs.

The over-30s were offered courses, in various service areas, and over 3,000 individuals took part in180 training schemes covering hostelry, tourism, commerce and languages,

as well as new technologies and business assistance.

Under the “Convive [co-exist]Adeje” banner, some training was aimed at promoting youth activities.

“One of the important duties of my department is to assess businesses, to combine jobcreation projects, and provide new companies with business skills,” added Méndez Martín.

“It’s something that plays a key role in the economic advancement in the borough, engaging the development of economic activities to meet the local population’s needs.

“Last year, over 300 assessments were carried out and 335 new businesses created. There are now over 2,000 companies registered as active in the borough, which adds up to a 25% increase in business activity in the region.”

Puerto de la Cruz finds its feet again FOLLOWING the economic crisis, Puerto de la Cruz has had some dark days and difficult years as a holiday destination, but the green shoots of recovery are there.

The authorities are working hard to regain the number of visitors seen during the heady days of 2006, and there are signs that they are succeeding.

“The Barometer of

Profitability of Spanish Destinations”, an annual report by the Alliance for Tourism Excellence (Exceltur), shows that between 2010 and 2015, tourism employment in the municipality was around the national average of 5,500 jobs.

Despite the global and local crisis, Puerto de la Cruz has managed to maintain between 10th and 11th position in Spain - as regards the

total number of tourism jobs - compared with the 52 main holiday destinations.

In the past six years, this figure has not fallen below 5,393 tourism jobs in 2013 (the worst year of this period), and it reached 5,669 in 2014 (the best year).

Last year, 5,534 people had jobs in tourism, a higher figure than in 2010 (5,440) and 2012 (5,432), and very similar

to the numbers of 2011 (5,568).

In 2015, Puerto de la Cruz achieved 11th position in the National Ranking, and tourism employment figures were almost as high as those of Ibiza. They were higher than destinations such as Tias, Yaiza, Salou and Lloret de Mar. In the same year, six Canary-Island municipalities were placed in

the top 11. In first place was San Bartolome de Tirajana (19,029); third was Adeje (12,835); fifth, Arona (10,314); seventh and eighth, Mogan (6,863) and Pájara (6,735), and 11th in the table was Puerto de la Cruz (5,534).

In 2010, 2012, 2013 and 2014, Puerto was placed 10th, (11th in 2011), and ahead of destinations such as Ibiza, Tias, Yaiza, Salou, Lloret de

Mar, Cartagena and Benalmádena.

Tourism jobs are important for a city in which 3,645 people were registered unemployed, this February.

In 2015, the Puerto de la Cruz tourism sector generated a total of 5,534 jobs, which exceeds the total number of registered unemployed in February 2016 in La Orotava (5,382) or Los Realejos (5,014).

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Bullfight ban would cost country dearly THE so-called sport of bullfighting has been banned in the Canary Islands, but it still takes place on the mainland.

The editor says...

Email: editor@canarianweekly.com

No place like home THEY say a sign of a good holiday is that you do not want to go home, and I’m sure there is lots in that.

Personally, I feel the sign of a good home is that you want to go home. Last week I was in Dorset for a long weekend to celebrate my baby brother´s 40th birthday.

I had a perfectly-enjoyable trip and, as always, it was lovely to catch up with family and friends. That said, I couldn’t wait to get back to Tenerife.

From 2,000 miles away, you can only get a grasp of what is really going on back in the UK. What has happened to the place? Seriously.

Okay, the shopping is better, there is a wider selection in the supermarkets and it’s nice to pay just 50p for a newspaper. Apart from that?

A few national newspapers will tell you that the country is over-run by immigrants. Well, I didn’t see many. What I did see was a lot of job va-

cancies that needed filling.

Walking down a high street, I counted 10 businesses which had very similar jobs being advertised. Some were retail sales, a couple at a bookies - that sort of thing.

Okay, the money was only what is now called a “Living Wage”, which is around £7.50 an hour. But most of them were full-time, with benefits and overtime options.

A very decent start, bearing in mind the so-called size of the dole queue. I asked one of the managers about it.

He said, chillingly: “I’ve had that sign up for a week now and had no one ask. I bet it goes to a foreigner as they seem happy to work.”

His shop already had three Europeans on the pay-roll.

Foreigners are happy to work … remember that next time you read an anti-EU hatchet-piece in a paper.

And finally, hope you enjoyed our front page April Fool!

Tel: 902 232 102 info@canarianweekly.com Publisher, proprietor and Editor: MES ONCE SL Depósito Legal TF 1209/97 CIF: B- 38753802

There, calls to ban this cruel activity are growing louder and louder, despite a new report which claims the economic impact on the country could be enormous.

Spain could lose an estimated 3.6 billion euros a year, if it were to impose a ban, according to data from the National Association of Bullfighting Organisers (ANOET).

The figures, quoted by Europa Press, are based on the 6.1 million tickets sold last year, as well as the 199,000 jobs and 57,000 positions directly linked to bullfighting.

Madrid would face a 244m-euro revenue loss if the Spanish Government banned it. And 232m would be lost, indirectly, while 12.2m would be lost, directly. Ángel Garrido, the regional government’s adviser and spokesman, said: “Many tourists who come to Madrid include a trip to the Las Ventas bullring to see the bullfights.

“At a time when employment is so necessary, we have to

strengthen the cultural - or touristic - aspects which allow us to increase the number of businesses and jobs in Madrid.”

Some 900,000 visitors attended various events at Las Ventas last season, with 80,000 taking part in a tour of the arena itself.

The city has also reopened the newly-renovated bullfighting museum, and expects more than 100,000 visitors.

Towns in the Community of Madrid celebrated 942 bull-running events last year, attract-

ing than one million spectators.

Spain’s traditionalists have long locked horns with animal-rights activists, who have called for bans on the centuriesold practice.

The city’s typicallyconservative, regional government cut bullfight subsidies last year, to aid domestic-violence victims.

And Madrid City Hall, under left-wing Mayor Manuela Carmena, gave up the Council’s private bullfighting box at Las Ventas.

Carmena also

scrapped an annual subsidy to a bullfighting school, because it “goes against animal rights”.

Catalonia banned bullfights in 2012, after the Canary Islands became the first region to pass a ban in 1991.

But San Sebastian brought back bullfighting, after it had been outlawed for three years.

Pro-bullfighting groups have fought back against restrictions by trying to get the tradition protected under Unesco’s cultural-heritage list.

Nursery boom in Granadilla

THE new Municipal Nursery School Sanipeques, in Granadilla de Abona, is already proving a great success. Built to respond to local demand, it serves 109 children up to the age of three years.

And already, it is being hailed as “a muchsneeded facilitate that is helping the work-life balance of families.”

The Town Hall has invested 900,000 euros in the centre, saying it is “a state of the art nurs-

ery school and something of which we can all be proud.”

This municipal nursery, in the heart of San Isidro, is already working at full capacity, with all seats occupied from Monday to Friday, from 7am-7pm.

The facility has eight classrooms, a dining room and kitchen, reception, toilets for users and staff, common areas and management, a small school garden and a nursing area. Students are divided by age

and have adapted toilets.

The centre’s entertainment areas are equipped with a covered patio, with rubber floor and playgrounds. The current staff comprises 16 people: eight nursery workers, six auxiliary, a manager and a maintenance man.

Granadilla Mayor Jaime González Cejas said: “This centre highlights the importance of the implementation of this school. It responds to the demand

for services by neighbours, who spent years asking for a centre like this to allow parents to balance work and family life.”

Education Minister Georgina Molina said: “The commitment to education and social policies is a priority of this local government.

“We feel happy to provide the area with such an important service as it has a high infant population through the population growth in recent years. “

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Cameron finds Canary sun after a Lanza-grote week!

DAVID Cameron came back from a stress-free holiday in Lanzarote on Wednesday, having set aside a week of budget U-turns and the resignation of Iain DuncanSmith.

But the British Prime Minister’s return to No.10 was greeted with

the shock news that India will close its TATA Steel’s UK business if a buyer can’t be found, which could lead to 40,000 job losses.

Meanwhile, 2,000 miles away and enjoying his sunshine break with wife Samantha, he probably wasn’t aware that his

Pregnant teenager is ‘beaten’ by boyfriend DOMESTIC violence remains high on the police radar, with another brutal attack this week making the headlines.

This week, local police in Santa Cruz arrested a 22-year-old man who, allegedly, beat up his young girlfriend after she revealed that she was pregnant.

The 17-year-old suffered nasty injuries to her face and abdomen during a sustained attack.

According to a police statement the detainee, identified only as J.A.A.G, assaulted her at his Barranco

Grande home, where police found the girl on the stairs.

She said her partner struck her repeatedly in the face and kneed her in the abdomen when she announced the pregnancy. The man then fled.

Neighbours called the police, and officers from the National Police helped capture him. They had to physically restrain the man because of his aggression.

And it is understood that he harmed himself in his home and in the patrol car on its way to the police station.

five-star hotel, the Gran Castillo in Playa Blanca, was deemed an illegal building in 2007 by the Canary Islands Supreme Court.

It was said to have breached the 1991 building plan, as well as exceeding the permitted capacity of the area, exceeding the permitted height and flouting numerous building regulations.

Cameron is fond of this part of the world, having stayed around the corner in San Bartolome two years ago, and the town hall believes it has received an advertising value of more than 1.2m euros through his presence.

The British media was asked to leave Cameron and his wife alone during their Easter holiday, though the Prime Minister agreed to pose for the usual photograph with Samantha at the start of their break.

But privacy requests do not apply to British tourists or Spanish newspapers, so, from the moment he arrived

in Lanzarote, Cameron’s every move was shared on social media.

Scottish international rugby player Jim Hamilton bumped into the PM and tweeted: “Nice chatting to David Cameron about all things, in Lanzarote of all places.”

The Eldiario website recorded his arrival, with pictures of him and his wife being driven in a Volvo, after the pair landed at Guacimeta airport on an easyJet flight, and naming their hotel.

Spanish newspaper El Pais published online pictures of Cameron on the beach, dressed in a polo shirt and shorts.

He skipped the last day of Parliament to catch a flight to the Canaries, prompting criticism that he was jetting off to the sun after he had told British tourists to take a break in flood-hit areas of the country. else, the added bonus is that you seem guaranteed not to bump into him.”

At an end-of-term meeting with the Conservative Party’s 1922

backbench committee earlier last week, Cameron told MPs: “I could do with time to think. It has been a tough week, but let’s not lose sight of what we do.”

Cameron was not the only world leader to grace our Archipelago over Easter. German Chancellor Angela Merkel enjoyed a few days in La Gomera. She is a regular visitor to the is-

land and stayed at the Hotel Jardín Tecina.

Merkel flew into the Reina Sofia airport in the south of Tenerife before taking the Fred Olsen ferry to San Sebastian.

She had a large entourage as you would expect. 15 National Police Officers and 12 German security guards ensured the German leader enjoyed her Easter break.

Primark all the rage Homeless don’t even reside in Santa Cruz THE Santa Cruz homeless problem is getting worse, and concerned authorities are seeking a long-term solution.

PRIMARK, one of Europe’s leading budget fashion stores, has made a huge impression in Spain, with sales of nearly 1.17bn euros between September 2014 and August 2015, which was a 20% leap from the previous year.

Of this total, 248m euros represent sales by the Spanish branch to its Irish headquarters,which means Primark’s prod-

uct sales in Spain totalled 919m euros - up 16.2% from the same period the previous year.

Overall, the figures consolidate Primark as Spain’s second-largest fashion chain by sales.

Inditex, owner of Zara and other popular brands, continues to top the chart with 4bneuro sales But the Irish chain has topped other well-established brands such as Mango (360m), H&M (830m and Cortefiel (700m).

The company’s growth in Spain (now up to 40 stores) is higher than in the other countries in which owner Associat-

ed British Food (ABF) operates the fashion brand. In these 10 markets, Primark sales grew 8%.

Its flagship Madrid store on Gran Vía, whose inauguration drew long queue lines and strong media attention, opened last October and will be included in the 2016 accounts.

Because of the Spanish branch’s payments to headquarters, it is difficult to gauge whether the company’s profits are tied to its Spanish activities. But it paid 7.8m euros in Spanish taxes on a gross profit of 54.4m.

This week it was revealed that 65% of homeless people served by the capital’s Social Services are not even registered there but come from other towns and islands - and even other countries!

This is reflected in a Municipal Social Care Institute (IMAS) report, produced before a meeting convened by Santa Cruz Mayor Jose Manuel Bermudez, to address the homeless problems.

The document was presented at a press conference by Social Care Councillor Oscar Garcia and IMAS chief Javier Gutierrez.

According to the report, the profile of this group is that of a man (78.15%) of Spanish nationality (64.72%), aged between 35-55, single (55.11%) and born outside the municipality (76.13%).

By nationality, Europeans make up the majority (82.96%), followed by Africa (7.81%) and Americans (6.21%).

Gutierrez explained about the economic dynamism of Santa Cruz, the supply of general resources and expertise to all people, and especially for those in social vulnerability situations. And that the absence of such resources elsewhere in the province act as a “pull factor” for these people.

On those subjects, Oscar Garcia said that in 2015, nearly 500 people were treated at the Municipal Reception Centre. Yet the total

population of the city’s homeless was approximately 300-350 people.

But Garcia defended the care provided by Social Services in the capital, and stressed that this year’s IMAS budget - nearly two million euros - will be spent on the projects and care programmes for the homeless. He added: “The municipality does not look the other way.”

Mayor Bermudez said: “If we want to improve the care of the homeless in the capital, we must go a step further and involve other authorities with greater resources, better care-protocols and social awareness. That is something we sometimes miss.”

And Bermudez has called for a meeting with representatives of the Canaries’ Government and Tenerife Cabildo to discuss issues.

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Spain’s serious exit threat to Gibraltar SPAIN’S long-standing anger over disputed peninsula Gibraltar could escalate should there be a Brexit because it threatens to cut the territory adrift.

The country’s government views the Rock as a territory under “illegal occupation” and could exploit the EU referendum as a chance to get revenge over Gibraltar.

A senior Spanish official has warned that the country could tear up its obligations to Gibraltar, and even close the border with the Rock, if Britain leaves the European Union.

Madrid could isolate the controversial territory once they no longer have to abide by Brussels’ directives,which would mark a dangerous escalation in tensions.

Britain’s EU membership means Spain has to respect free movement of capital, goods and labour towards the overseas territory.

That thrives on its services-based economy, which relies on the EU. But, the Spanish officials has revealed: “If Brexit happened, it would change our obligations to Gibraltar.

“No longer would we have to respect the free movement of labour, not having long queues and the free movement of capital and goods, which Brussels demands. We could even close the border if we wanted.”

Gibraltar has faced repeated threats from the Spanish Government, including increased border checks and legal battles.

Spain has wanted the Rock back since 1713, when it had to cede the territory to Britain.

But the EU allows companies approved to operate there to carry out business in any other nation of the bloc, without having to reapply for permission.

Zika total growing SPAIN’S Ministry of Health, Social Services and Equality has confirmed a total of 58 cases of the Zika virus infection in the country.

Every case has been imported by people infected while visiting countries where the virus, thought to cause birth defects in some cases, is prevalent.

No case has yet been acquired locally in Spain and, though that possibility has not been ruled out, health

authorities highlight the fact that the only mosquito in Spain capable of transporting the virus, the Tiger Mosquito (Aedes Albopictus) has a limited habitat - mainly down the east coast.

And the chance of one biting a person infected by the virus and becoming a carrier is remote.

The number of confirmed cases in Spain has risen by 15 over the past two weeks, and nine of the confirmed cases are pregnant women.

Pensioner’s foolish splash A WOMAN tourist, aged 65 was found shivering and clinging to her handbag, some 500 metres out to sea after attempting to swim out to the cruise ship she had missed.

She left the Marco Polo ship in the port of Funchal, in Portugal’s Madeira region, with her husband, with whom she had an onshore row.

But while he went

back to the boat, she returned to the port and threw herself into the water, apparently trying to swim to the departing cruiser.

But she quickly ran into trouble, swimming just half-a-kilometre before nearby fishermen heard her screams and came to her aid.

Port boss Captain Felix Marques said she was clutching a bag and shivering from the cold.

The pensioner was taken by ambulance to the local hospital, but, fortunately, her condition was not serious.

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A return of the lynx, but will UK want it?

A CAPTIVE breeding programme, which has tripled the numbers of lynx in Spain in the last 15 years, could see their UK return after a 1,000-year absence.

But though the return of a major predator will worry British farmers, the tuftyeared cat is proving a major hit with others in Spain and Germany.

Things were looking bad for the Iberian lynx. It was once widespread in Portugal, Spain and southern France. But in 2002, there were fewer than 100 adults left - all in southern Spain - and just 25 females available for breeding.

Cork oak forests, the lynx’s favourite habitat, had been felled or thinned for more than a century, and the move to screw-top wine bottles was threatening the remaining few.

And at the same time the rabbit population, the lynx’s main food, had been ravaged by disease.

It was at this point that urgent steps were taken to capture young animals and start a breeding programme.

The first animals born in captivity were

released in 2010. Then, in 2014 and 2015, 124 animals were set free.

By the end of last year there were 400 lynx on the Iberian peninsula.

The vast majority were in Andalusia, in southern Spain, with smaller, new populations in the hills near Toledo, in Extremadura (south-western Spain) and in southern Portugal.

Just occasionally, the breeders have been surprised by one of these reintroduced lynx. Most of them scent-mark a territory of 20sq/km and stay there to defend it - though the territory of males and females may overlap. But four of the released animals have gone wandering.

Two brothers, Kahn and Kentaro, have been followed, via the GPS transmitters they wear, with Kahn heading north and west, Kentaro south and west. Contact with Kentaro, who is now surviving on roe deer rather than rabbits, is about to be lost, because the battery in his transmitter is running out.

Efforts to capture him over the last month - to replace the battery - have proved fruitless.

“He is not entering the traps and, whenever he sees anything strange, he goes the other way,” says Ramon Perez de Ayala, head of the WWF-

backed LIFE-Iberlince recovery programme.

“Some animals just like travelling. Males, especially, need to move so populations don’t have genetic breeding problems.”

The Iberian lynx differs in some respects from the Eurasian lynx, the species that populates other parts of Europe. It’s smaller, with shorter fur and darker spots.

And while the Iberian lynx eats mostly rabbit, the Eurasian lynx eats deer mainly - it’s the third largest predator in Europe after the brown bear and the wolf. One competes with the fox for food - the other eats fox!

But the success of the Iberian lynx programme provides encouragement to those hoping to reintroduce the Eurasian lynx to Britain.

Most European lynx are found in Scandinavia and Eastern Europe - the population has been estimated at 9,000 to 10,000 (excluding Russia and Belarus).

The largest Western Europe population is in the Alps - about 130 lynx inhabit Austria, France, Italy, Slovenia and Switzerland “The Iberian lynx project has been incredibly successful, and we hope to emulate that in the UK,” says Dr Paul O’Donoghue, an adviser to the Interna-

tional Union for Conservation of Nature cat specialist group.

While the UK could support hundreds of lynx, he says, the Lynx UK Trust aims to start with a five-year pilot project, which will see the release of three male and three female animals of breeding age from Romania.

Any offspring will be “the first lynx born in the UK for 1,300 years” he says - an estimate based on carbon-dating of lynx skeletons.

“It’s incredibly exciting.”

The Trust will apply in July for a licence for a single, unfenced site in one of five locations in Cumbria, Norfolk, Northumberland, Argyll and Aberdeenshire. This could see the lynx released as soon as the autumn, though it may take longer to persuade people in the community that they do not present a threat.

Completely harmless to humans, they have been known to kill sheep in Norway, and in the French Jura mountains.

“They’re reputed to do a lot of their hunting within a 200250m area surrounding woodland, and there is an awful lot of grassland grazed by sheep surrounding woodland,” says a concerned Phil Stocker, Chief Executive of the National Sheep Association (NSA).

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The Passion draws huge numbers to Adeje again THOUSANDS of spectators, including those from all over Europe and beyond, poured into Adeje on Good Friday to witness the borough’s 20th annual version of The Passion, along the Calle Grande.

And they brought along their own passion for the spectacular event, which spanned at least two hours.

More than 300 people participated in the staging of the last days and death of Jesus Christ.

And Mayor Jose Miguel Rodríguez Fraga congratulated all the amateur actors.

He singled out José Antonio Lopez and Ana Oneida, who played Jesus and Mary, for special praise, saying: “Today, Mary moved

me, in particular. She always does, but today more than ever because she is a symbol of so many mothers who ask, ‘Why’?

“Why their children have died? In an accident, or have been killed in Belgium, in Syria...

“Today, this is happening and this is something we need to think about.”

The Mayor also paid tribute to all who took part in the event: actors, the director, operations and back-stage staff, security, communications,

artists, sound, music, etc.

Rodríguez Fraga also told the youngsters taking part: “You have to follow this, and take part again. It’s fantastic to see our young people involved in this collective event.

“Apart from the faith that each one may have, we are telling a story; something that had huge implications for humanity; a story that shows the pain of treason, of death, and of

love and generosity.”

He was accompanied by many local councillors, including Adolfo

Alonso Ferrera, head of the Creative Development department, together with Cristina

Fuente Carballo and Desiderio Afonso Ruiz, who also took part in the street theatre.

And he spoke of his immense pride in his borough staging “an event of such importance”, which has now achieved international status.

The astonishing pageant featured a number of changes this year, including the addition of the two robbers crucified alongside Jesus Christ in the final scene.

There were also new costumes, dances and additional music and songs, all composed by Adeje School of Music members.

This open-air theatre, which has taken place annually since 1996, began with a small group of residents staging the representation.

So popular has it proved in Adeje that The Passion has grown over the years into an enormous, prestigious event.

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Brussels airport still feels terror backlash BRUSSELS airport, scene of last week’s atrocities, will not be fully operative for several months, warned CEO Arnaud Feist as his staff returned to the site on Tuesday - a week after it was targeted by Islamist bombers.

Mr Feist said he hoped Zaventem airport would open at 20% capacity on Wednesday but added: “It will take months before we are running at full capacity.”

Thirty-five people were killed and 96 more are still in hospital after bombs targeted Zaventem and a metro train last Tuesday (22nd March). The airport has had to carry out tests to assess whether it can resume flights.

Meanwhile, EU institutions reopened on Tuesday, amid muchstrengthened security measures.

Increased searches on bags and vehicles are being introduced at the European Parliament, but many events organised by non-EU bodies have been suspended.

Some 800 airport

workers were asked to return to work on Monday to test provisional arrangements involving a temporary check-in area.

Enhanced security measures are being introduced in the temporary building, and further baggage-screening will take place before passengers reach the departure lounge.

Commuters showed their mettle by returning to work by metro on Tuesday after the Easter break The airport will be allowed to reopen only if the government gives the go-ahead, with an initial target of 8001,000 passengers per

hour, as opposed to the 5,000 average.

Mr Feist told Belgian media: “The provisional structure will not be able to absorb the usual number we had before the attacks.

“Although the structure of the building is intact, it will all have to be rebuilt, from the air-conditioning to the check-in desks. And that will take months,” he predicted.

Police have resumed their hunt for one of the three men who blew up the airport on Sunday, after they released a man named by Belgian media as Faycal Cheffou for lack of evidence.

Women damage a statue of Jesus TWO women were arrested in southern Spain after damaging a 17th Century statue of Jesus during Holy Week celebrations.

They were said to have disfigured the Nuestro Padre Jesús Nazareno de Osuna statue, a 400 year-old likeness of Jesus used in Holy Week processions in the town of Osuna, near Seville, in southern Spain.

But, in fact, just one of the woman was said to be culpable, while the

other was her “lookout. Police sources said the women entered the church - Iglesia de la Victoria - in Osuna at around 7.30am on Easter Thursday.

One of the women then, reportedly, climbed on to a table next to the altar, took out a “small object” and slashed the face of the statue of Jesus.

Both women fled the scene immediately and the damage was discovered by a member of the church’s brotherhood, who reported it to the Guardia Civil.

After checking the church’s security and

appealing for witnesses, officers were able to identify the two women.

They confirmed that one was an Osuna resident, with previous convictions.

The second woman’s role, said police, was to prevent parishioners from entering the church while her accomplice attacked the statue.

Both were charged with offences against Spain’s Historic Heritage, and also with offending religious freedom and sentiment.

They were released on Monday as the investigation continued.

He had been suspected, wrongly, of being the man pictured by CCTV wearing a hat and a light jacket. But he still faces allegations of “terrorist assassination”.

The federal prosecutor said: “Clues that led to his arrest were not sub-

stantiated by the ongoing inquiry.”

Four people have died in hospital since the attacks, which were claimed by the jihadist Islamic State group (IS). Dozens more are still being treated in intensive care. Three of the 35 people murdered

at the airport and on the metro train at Maelbeek station are yet to be identified.

Several suspects have been arrested in Belgium and other countries in recent days. An Algerian, named as Djamal Eddine Ouali, was being questioned in Italy on suspicion of forging identity documents used by Paris attackers, including detained Belgian suspect Salah Abdeslam Yassine A, Mohamed B and Aboubaker O were held after raids on Saturday in Belgium, accused of belonging to a terrorist group.

Reda Kriket, 34, was arrested in Rotterdam on suspicion of planning another attack in France And Abderamane A was arrested in Brussels when he was shot in the leg at a tram stop last Thursday.

Irn Bru not so sweet IRN BRU will have substantially-reduced sugar content because makers AG Barr has weighed up the impact of new tax measures set to hit the industry.

The Scottish-based company’s decision came as it reported a fall in annual revenues.

Barr said it expected up to one-third of its product portfolio to be affected by the sugar tax. But it hopes the strength of its brands, and changes to products, will help minimise the financial impact.

The firm is now shifting focus to “no-sugar” and “low-sugar” products.

Chancellor George Osborne said last month that from 2018, the Government would introduce a levy on soft drinks based on their sugar content, amid the growing problem of childhood obesity.

Barr, whose brands also include Tizer, Rubicon and Strathmore Water, had previously described the proposals as “extremely disappointing”.

It set out a further re-

sponse as it published latest financial results showing pre-tax profits up 7% to £41.3m, thanks largely to costcutting.

Annual revenues were down 1% to £258.6m for the year to 30th January, amid a struggling UK soft drinks market.

Chief Executive Roger White said conditions were “not expected to substantially change as we look forward”.

He added: “To ensure success in the UK market, we are focusing our marketing efforts on our ‘lower’ and ‘no’ sugar products, and we are substantially reducing the sugar content of our portfolio to reflect consumers’ changing preferences.”

Mr White said the

company had already been cutting back on high-sugar products, and that it was “playing an important part in addressing the complex and very important UK consumer health issues”.

On the sugar-tax measures, he said Barr believed “ongoing product reformulation and consumer-driven innovation will allow us to minimise the financial impact on the business”.

He added: “Based on the Government’s currently-proposed metrics, should a levy be introduced, we expect at least two-thirds of our portfolio will be lower or no sugar, and would, therefore, be levy-free at that time.”

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Buy-to-let lenders a worry for Bank THE Bank of England is planning to bring in new, tougher, quality checks on buy-to-let lenders, amid worries about a bubble in the property-investment market.

The Bank’s Prudential Regulation Authority is installing a “guardrail”, to prevent banks from making dangerous loans, warning that onein-five lenders is not carrying out the correct checks.

It believes that the possible buy-to-let market bubble could cause a wider slowdown in the housing market.

In recent years, the vast majority of the increase in total, netmortgage lending in the UK was because of buyto-let lending.

But the Chancellor last year imposed a 3% stamp-duty surcharge on the sector, and limited the amount of interest landlords could write off against tax bills.

Now the Bank has weighed in, saying lenders should impose affordability checks on

buy-to-let landlords.

It said that lenders should take into account how much cash the borrowers had to cover their interest payments, even if borrowing costs went up to 5.5%.

At present, five of the 20 lenders scrutinised by the bank do not impose those standards.

The Bank said the measures should reduce the expected growth-rate of buy-tolet mortgage lending, from about 20% a year, to around 17%.

It is also considering imposing further measures later in the year, if it remains concerned.

The actions were less aggressive than some had feared, but many

expect house-price inflation to dip later in the year, as the Chancellor’s stamp-duty levy kicks in.

The Bank also said that the outlook for financial stability in the UK had deteriorated since last November, and signalled that the EU referendum was causing volatility in the exchange rate.

The ResidentialLandlords’ Association, a group representing 40,000 private-sector landlords in England in Wales, said the buy-tolet proposals were premature.

Policy director David Smith said: “The Bank needs to be careful that it does not over-react to the current surge in buy-to-let-applications, which are aimed at beating this month’s tax increases.

“We would urge the Bank to tread carefully, and avoid any premature moves that could stifle the supply of the one million rental properties the country desperately needs.”

Credit-crunch forces women to turn tricks MANY Canarian women are turning to the world´s oldest profession for survival, says Canarian Equality Institute (ICI) chief, Marián Franquet, who believes something has to be done.

“Prostitution is a form of gender violence,” he said. “It is difficult to deal with, but we cannot look away.”

The organisation runs centres and programmes to help these women, and is preparing the first comprehensive assessment of the situation in the islands, which includes all aspects of prostitution.

Franquet said: “Experts from around the world have informed us that many women, who were able to leave prostitution because they had found a job with a salary on which they could survive, had to return to their previous ‘occupation’ at a later stage.

“They may have found an apartment and had more money, but they couldn’t pay all the bills, which meant that they had to return.”

She added: “To address this issue properly, it is essential to have accurate information.

We need a comprehensive study to tell us what the reality is of women prostituting themselves in the Canary Islands.

“There are different types of prostitution, and we cannot use the same method to attack the problem for all of them.

The situation is different, for example, for prostituted women in general, compared with trafficked women, or women engaged in prostitution at irregular intervals, or women with substance-abuse problems.

“There are prostitutes on the street, in clubs or on the floor of a whorehouse. It is a commit-

ment of the institute to diagnose this. We always talk about prostitution, but never address it. It is socially controversial - and difficult to work against - but we cannot forget that we are talking about a very clear form of gender violence.”

“The fact that this practice is socially accepted makes the rate of complaints very low, and there are not many complaints, except when they involve a problem in neighbourhoods.”

The ICI wants to meet with all groups linked to the problem, including universities, to produce a document of action.

And a prevention programme will be held in classrooms.

“Young people need to know what is behind prostitution, when they decide to hire a woman,” said Franquet. “It is essential to tackle the problem at the very beginning.”

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To be… or not to be, Shakespeare’s skull?

THE skull of William Shakespeare has probably been stolen, claim archaeologists, and that backs up a story that trophy hunters nicked it in 1794.

An underground survey of the Bard’s final resting place, using ground-penetrating radar, displayed “an odd disturbance at the head end”.

The archaeological project manager at Staffordshire University, Mr Colls, said: “We have Shakespeare’s burial, with that odd disturbance, and we have a story which

suggests that, at some point in history, someone’s come in and taken the skull of Shakespeare.”

He added: “It’s very, very convincing to me that his skull isn’t at Holy Trinity at all.”

French wine crown slips

FRANCE, renowned for having the true connoisseurs of wine, lost its title as the world’s largest wine producers and exporters to Italy on Sunday.

The 2015 figures from the International Organisation of Vine and Wine showed that France was closely followed by Spain, and then the US and Argentina.

Italy produced 48.9 million hectolitres from the 2015 harvest, ahead of France’s 47.4m.

French media expressed their anguish at being “dethroned” by their neighbour, Le Parisien newspaper writing:

“France falls from her pedestal. Some news is hard to swallow.”

It said France had been “dethroned by Italy, teased by Chile and Argentina, and tormented by South Africa and California”.

The publication added that the French got through an average of 100 litres of wine per person in 1960, a figure which had dropped to just 42 litres last year.

Just 12 months ago, when the figures for 2014 were released, France were toasting a successful year after earning first place, having produced 46,804 million hectolitres.

France was the world’s largest wine producer until 2011, when Italy led the field.

A worn tombstone, inside the Holy Trinity Church, in Stratfordupon-Avon, marks the place where Shakespeare is thought to rest.

It bears the inscription: “Good friend, for

Jesus’ sake forbear, to dig the dust enclosed here.

“Blessed be the man that spares these stones, and cursed be he that moves my bones.”

Experts were allowed to carry out the survey

because the technology meant it could be done without disturbing the grave.

Mr Colls said that evidence of a significant repair at the head end of the grave may have been needed to correct the sinking floor, which, in turn, was triggered by an historic disturbance - possibly graverobbers.

Following on from the tomb study, researchers were also granted access to a skull in St Leonard’s Church, in the Worcestershire village of Beoley, 17 miles from Stratford, which is said to have belonged to the playwright.

But a scan revealed that it belonged to an unknown female, who was in her seventies

when she died. However, local vicar Patrick Taylor, of Holy Trinity Church, is not convinced by Mr Colls’ theory. He said: “We now know much more about how Shakespeare was buried, and the structure that lies underneath his ledger (grave) stone.

“We are not convinced, however, that there is sufficient evidence to conclude that his skull has been taken. We shall have to live with the mystery of not knowing fully what lies beneath the stone.”

The survey findings feature in a Channel 4 documentary tomorrow (Saturday), to coincide with the 400th anniversary of the Bard’s death.

Falklands baffled by Argentina expansion OFFICIALS on the Falkland Islands have asked the UK to clarify the meaning of an international commission judgement, which would leave the islands surrounded

by Argentina’s territorial waters.

The decision, not yet final, follows a 2009 request by Argentina to expand its maritime territory to include that of the islands, known as the Malvinas in Argentina. It would increase its waters in the South Atlantic Ocean by 35%.

But the UK government has played down the commission’s ruling, The Prime Minister’s official spokeswoman saying: “At this stage, we have yet to receive details of the report. It is important to note that this is an advisory committee. It makes recommendations, but they are not legally binding.”

And a Foreign Office spokeswoman said: “The UK Government remains in no doubt over the sovereignty of the Falkland Islands; nor of the right of the islanders to determine their own future.”

The Falkland Islands’ government said the UN did not make changes in sovereignty in areas where the territory is disputed.

Mike Summers, Chairman of the Legislative Assembly of the Falkland Islands, which governs the islands’ internal affairs, said: “Our understanding has always been that the UN would not make any determination on applications for continental-shelf extension in areas where there are competing claims.”

Although not binding, the move raises the stakes in the claims by the UK and Argentina to the Falkland Islands region, whose waters are being explored closely for oil and gas deposits.

The Commission on the Limits of the Continental Shelf is a group of ex-

perts established under the 1982 United Nations Convention on the Law of the Sea. But it is not a United Nations’ Commission.

The Commission notes that the islands are the subject of a dispute between the UK and Argentina, who went to war over the group in 1982.

Tuesday marks the anniversary of the ordering of the naval task force to the Falkland Islands by then Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher.

The UK has held the Falklands since 1833, and the vast majority of its

3,000 citizens want the islands to remain a British overseas territory.

Many islanders remain concerned about Argentina’s claim, as well as the potential for problems from rapid change, brought by the oil exploration industry.

Drilling for oil in the territorial waters around the Falklands has been carried out, despite opposition from Buenos Aires.

Shares in Rockhopper International, one of the companies drilling in the region, were down 9% on Tuesday.

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Acid-attack mother stole in desperation A DESPERATE mother-ofsix, rendered homeless and blind in one eye

after an acid attack one night, has been fined for stealing groceries.

Two-year ordeal is over for kidnapped teenager A TEENAGE girl, kidnapped and held captive in a man’s apartment for nearly two years, is celebrating her great escape.

The 15-year-old, who ran from the Tokyo flat while her captor was shopping, called her family from a payphone on Sunday.

She told police she managed to escape because the man forgot to lock the door from outside when he went out to Akihabara, an area popular with comicbook and video-game fans.

Her mother reported the phone call to the police, and officers raided the apartment.

A 23-year-old man, Kabu Terauchi, has been held on suspicion of kidnapping after being captured on Monday near a forest to the west of Tokyo. Officers say he was bleeding from the neck.

The girl, who cannot be named, disappeared from her hometown Saitama, on the outskirts of the Japanese

capital, in March 2014.

She was last seen speaking to a man in front of her home, and a note in her handwriting was found in her letterbox saying: “Don’t look for me.”

Police say the girl told them she had spent most of the past two years in Terauchi’s apartment, near his university in Chiba.

He moved to Tokyo last month after receiving a job offer, and took his captive with him.

She said she was always locked up in the apartment and closely watched, but was not tied up.

She was taken outside the apartment sometimes, but he always accompanied her.

Phew! that was close

A TODDLER escaped the attention of her mother for just a few seconds and wandered through an open shop door … straight into an armed robbery.

Terrifying CCTV footage showed a gunman ordering staff and customers at the pharmacy to get on the ground as he robs them, before breaking into the till.

Suddenly, the little girl wanders into the store, just a few feet away from the armed

thief.

He ignores her at first, but when the mum comes looking for her, the gunman orders them to move to a corner of the shop, next to other petrified customers.

He then left, leaving everyone unharmed, and police are investigating the incident, though he has not been identified.

The robbery was captured on CCTV at a chemist’s shop in Brazil.

Carla Whitlock, 37, and her partner, Matthew Wedgner, were caught trying to push a trolley filled with food worth nearly £150 out of their local Tesco store last November, a court heard.

When 39-year-old Wedgner was stopped by security guards, he launched a tirade of “religious or racially-aggravated” verbal abuse.

Whitlock, from Southampton, was blinded in one eye and suffered extensive burn injuries after acid was thrown in her face on a night out two months earlier.

She and Wedgner later became homeless when they left accommodation in Portsmouth, provided by police, and began sleeping in a tent in a multi-story car park in a bid to stay together.

They were then nabbed after attempting to steal groceries amounting to £149.43 from the Southampton Tesco store.

The jobless pair both admitted theft, and Wedgner also accepted several harassment charges at Southampton Magistrates Court.

Dan O’Neil, prosecuting, said: “The offence is theft of a shopping trolley full of groceries.

Pushing the trolley out the store, Mr Wedgner was stopped and, as he tried to leave, was brought back by a security guard.”

Magistrates heard how he then verbally abused two Tesco security guards, making comments of a religious or racially-aggravated nature.

Julie Macey, defending, told the court the pair had “trouble with their benefits” and had stolen the items in an attempt raise funds.

She added: “You may recognise Ms Whitlock from the press. She was the victim of an acid attack back in September last year.

“Both her and her partner were put in police protection and moved to a bed-and-breakfast in Portsmouth

for their own safety.

“Ms Whitlock was receiving treatment for her injuries, and that was being done in Southampton.

“Neither of them work, and they were having trouble with their benefits. After some treatment, their police liaison officer was not able to take them back to their accommodation in Portsmouth.

“They decided, in desperation, they would go to Tesco and sell the goods from there to raise the funds to go back to Portsmouth

and their accommodation.” Whitlock was fined £15, and magistrates reduced outstanding fines she had already accrued to £300.

David Hunter, Chairman of the bench, said: “We accept that you have had a really bad run of luck, but you don’t always help yourself.

“You have an enormous backlog of fines and, given your current financial situation, there is no way you are going to be able to pay them off.

“We are going to take

a pragmatic approach, and you will pay back what we think is a fair amount.”

Since the incident, the pair have been able to secure a home. Wedgner was released on unconditional bail and will be sentenced this month.

Meanwhile, two brothers have been charged with the acid attack on Whitlock. Geoffrey Midmore, 26, admitted the attack, at Southampton Crown Court last November. His brother Billy, 22, who denied being involved, was in court this week.

Ex-Cuba dictator scoffs at visit by US President

FORMER Cuba dictator Fidel Castro believes President Obama’s visit there was simply a farce, and he has said so in a spiky letter, published in state-run newspaper Granma.

Fidel, who stepped down in favour of his brother Raul a decade ago, said Cuba did not need any gifts from the “empire”.

He described Mr Obama’s words of reconciliation as “syrupy” and even said they could give Cubans “a heart attack”.

The US President had suggested it was time to bury the last rem-

nant of the Cold War in the Americas.

But Fidel Castro, in his 1,500-word letter, also reminded readers of the Bay of Pigs invasion of 1961, in which a CIA-sponsored para-military force of Cuban exiles attempted to take over the island.

And the 89-year-old ex-leader also said his “modest suggestion” was that Obama “reflects and doesn’t try to develop theories about Cuban politics”.

During his visit, Obama invoked “a future of hope” for Cuba in an unprecedented live TV address, delivered from

the Grand Theatre in Havana.

Obama told President Raul Castro that he need not fear a threat from the US; nor from “the voice of the Cuban people”.

He also called for the 54-year old US trade embargo against Cuba to be lifted, which was greeted with loud applause.

The embargo remains one of the main sticking points in US-Cuban relations, but it can be lifted only by the US Congress.

Obama’s visit to Cuba was the first by a President since the 1959 Communist revolution.

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www.canarianweekly.com 1st April - 7th April 2016

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21 CW

Guide

Marcella

Don't Miss...

Monday 4th April, ITV1, 21.00 After 11 years’ absence away from the force, DS Marcella Backland finds herself drawn back to police work following the return of the Grove Park Killer, her last case before she left to start a family. In 2005, the killer tied the victims’ hands and feet with cable ties before taping a plastic bag around their heads.

The case went cold. But now, over ten years later, it seems he has returned.

Marcella is driven by the news that her previous lead suspect, Peter Cullen, is out of prison for manslaughter and now working in a bakery on a prison placement scheme. But nobody else on her team thinks it could be Peter, and Marcella’s lone wolf approach quickly alienates her new colleagues.

But Marcella’s also preoccupied with the breakdown of her 15-year marriage to Jason Backland. It’s a huge blow to her when he tells her he no longer loves her. She believed they were happy.

Marcella suspects Jason may be having an affair and she follows him in her car. But what will she discover?

Marcella is next seen sitting, crying in her bath, covered in mud and blood. A nasty gash on her forehead.

But how has she come to be in this state?

Throughout the course of the episode, we’re introduced to the Gibson family and their company, DTG Construction: one of the country’s largest developers. Tension is rife within the family as CEO Sylvie Gibson clashes with her errant stepson Henry over the best way to take their development in Lambeth forward. Caught in the crossfire is DTG’s Head of Legal, Jason and Sylvie’s daughter and Head of Finance, Grace Gibson. We also meet Cara, a young, spirited woman who has devised a con to steal from people using the casual affairs app, Sinnr.

Boomers Friday 1st April, BBC1, 21:00 Comedy series following the ups and downs of three retired couples. Alan’s in mid loft clear-out, having hired a skip for the purpose, when new couple Matt and Seb pop by to invite them to their housewarming party that night. The party is in full flow when the gang arrive. John - having confessed to Alan that he’s catnip to gay men instead immediately attracts the attentions of Matt and Seb’s dog Becks. Carol’s keen to leave early as she and Trevor are coming to the end of a period of sexual lent, which has raised Trevor’s anxiety levels. Maureen’s just excited to be at a ‘real gay party’ - she used to be a regular at all the clubs back in the day - but Joyce has told her to keep a lid on it, as she doesn’t want anyone thinking they’re old fogies. Meanwhile, Alan’s spotted one of Joyce’s old bedside tables that he had recently thrown out and thinks his hosts have stolen it, which they deny. Unconvinced, Alan tells John he’s going to steal it back and enlists his help.

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TV Guide

1st April - 7th April 2016

Fri 1st April 06:00...................... Breakfast

06:15 ......... Call the Council

09:15 ............... Heir Hunters

07:00 ...... Homes Under the Hammer

10:00 ...... Homes Under the Hammer

08:00 ..................... Sea Cities

11:00.......... Call the Council

09:00........................... Victoria Derbyshire

11:45...Caught Red Handed

11:00 ...........BBC Newsroom Live

12:15............... Bargain Hunt 13:00....... BBC News at One 13:45..........................Doctors 14:15.................... Think Tank 15:00................Escape to the Country 15:45................... The TV That Made Me 16:30............................Flog It!

20:00............. EastEnders 20:30..........MasterChef

21:00.................Boomers

13:30 .............ITV Lunchtime News

12:35........................... Wogan: The Best of

16:00.............. Tipping Point

13:20.......... Talking Pictures

18:00 ................ ITV News London

18:00............... Eggheads

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12:30 .........Gok’s Lunchbox

15:00 ................... Dickinson’s Real Deal

17:15.........................Antiques Road Trip

19:30..............A Question of Sport

10:30 .............. This Morning

14:00.............. Judge Rinder

16:25............Coast Australia

19:00........The One Show

09:25 ...................The Jeremy Kyle Show

12:05......................The Chef’s Protege

15:40..... The Indian Doctor

18:00..... BBC News at Six

08:30........................ Lorraine

12:00 .......... The A to Z of TV Cooking

14:05......... Angels One Five

17:15........................Pointless

06:00 ............ Good Morning Britain

18:30.......... Too Much TV 19:00.....The Enemy Files

17:00 ....................The Chase

18:30............ ITV Evening News 19:00............ Emmerdale 19:30..............Coronation Street 20:00...... Best Walks with a View with Julia Bradbury

21:30..Mrs. Brown’s Boys

20:00......Perry and Croft: Made in Britain

22:00.... BBC News at Ten

20:30...Gardeners’ World

22:35............ The Graham Norton Show

21:00................. Celebrity Mastermind

23:25...............Room 101

22:00... Two Doors Down

00:05........... Into the Sun

22:30..............Newsnight

22:00...... ITV News at Ten and Weather

01:40..................Weather

23:05..................... Lilting

22:40....... A View to a Kill

01:45............... BBC News

00:25............... I Am Love

01:10............ Jackpot247

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20:30..............Coronation Street 21:00....Billy Connolly’s CW Tracks Across choice America

Billy Connolly’s Tracks Across America ITV1, 21.00

Welcome to an epic journey that puts Billy Connolly in the company of three things he loves dearly – trains, America and his banjo.

In these three episodes, Billy Connolly will circumnavigate the four corners of the United States on the magic carpet made of steel that is America’s rail network.

Beginning in Chicago and finishing in New York, Billy will head into the vast and astonishing landscapes that make up America’s backyard. An epic 26 states and over 6,000 miles of cities, coast, mountains, desert and swamp.

Rich in the romance of the American dream, this is a travelogue in the tracks of the pioneers who built a nation. A glimpse into modern America and the states we rarely get to see onscreen.

It’s a journey rich in people and places, chock-a-block full of moments you could only have in the company of Billy Connolly, a man who can move you to laughter and tears on the turn of a dime.

A series painted in visuals straight from the silver screen, with Billy on the banjo strumming along to the ‘chug chug’ rhythm of the ride.

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

1st April - 7th April 2016

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06:00 .................Countdown

06:00............. The Wotwots!

06:45 .................................. The Goldbergs

06:10 .............Chloe’s Closet

07:10 .................................. The Goldbergs

06:00 ..............The Hot Desk 06:10 ........Planet’s Funniest Animals 06:30................ Dinner Date 07:20 ....................... The Ellen DeGeneres Show 08:00...................Emmerdale 09:00............ Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 09:35................ Catchphrase 10:15................. Dinner Date 11:15................... Royal Pains 12:10...................Emmerdale 13:15 ................. You’ve Been Framed!

13:45........................ The Ellen DeGeneres Show 14:35................... The Jeremy Kyle Show 17:50................ Take Me Out 18:50 ........ The Hot Desk 19:00 ........... You’ve Been Framed!

20:00................Two and a Half Men 21:00.....The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift

06:00 .........Betty White’s Off Their Rockers 06:25 ..... Who Do You Think You Are? USA 07:20................... EastEnders 08:00 ...................MasterChef Australia 09:00 ......... The Hairy Bikers’ Mississippi Adventure 10:00.......................... The Bill 11:00 ..............Tipping Point 12:00 .............Wanted Down Under 13:00 .......My Dream Home 14:00 ..... Who Do You Think You Are? USA 16:00 .............Wanted Down Under 17:00........My Dream Home 18:00......... Tipping Point 20:00.... The Hairy Bikers’ Mississippi Adventure 21:00.................... Grimm 22:00............. EastEnders 22:35........Team America: World Police

08:55 .............Jamie’s Money Saving Meals

06:00 ................................Glee

07:00 ........ Storage Hunters

07:00 ................................Glee

07:20....................... Top Gear

08:00 ..................... Futurama

08:10....................... Top Gear

08:30 ..................... Futurama

09:00...... American Pickers

13:15.............................. Home and Away

09:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0

10:00.. The Indestructibles

11:00 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles

10:30.. The Indestructibles

13:45..................Neighbours

12:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0

11:00 ........ Storage Hunters

14:15 ............................... NCIS

14:00 ...................... Supergirl

12:00 .......................Top Gear

15:15............. Family Secrets

16:00 ................. Yonderland

13:00 .......................Top Gear

17:25...................5 News at 5

16:30 ................. Yonderland

14:00 ...... American Pickers

17:30..................Neighbours

17:00 .............The Simpsons

15:00 ...... American Pickers

18:00.......................Home and Away

17:30 ..................... Futurama

16:00........ Storage Hunters

18:00............... Futurama

18:30...... 5 News Tonight

17:00 .......................Top Gear

18:30 ....... The Simpsons

19:00............. The Gadget Show

20:00 ............... Supergirl

18:00...American Pickers

06:00 ............. Football Gold 06:30 .......WWE Main Event 07:30 ......Live Super Rugby 09:20 ................Sky Scholars 09:30........... Premier League Darts 13:00............. Football Gold 13:30.................. The Premier League Years 15:30.... La Liga Show 2015 16:00.......... Premier League 100 Club 16:30..........Barclays Premier League World 17:00..........Game Changers 17:30.... La Liga Show 2015 18:00............ The Fantasy Football Club 19:00..................Football 22:15.... Barclays Premier League Preview 22:45.. Sporting Triumphs 23:00........... Boxing Gold

06:20 ...........Lily’s Driftwood Bay 06:30.............. Fireman Sam

07:35 .................................. The Goldbergs

06:40 .........................Wissper

08:00 .................... Everybody Loves Raymond

06:55 ......................Pip Ahoy!

06:50 .....................Peppa Pig 07:10 ............. Little Princess

08:30..................... Everybody Loves Raymond

07:20...........Bob the Builder

09:00 ........................... Frasier

07:50 ....................... Noddy in Toyland

09:30 ........................... Frasier 10:00........................... The Big Bang Theory 10:30 ...........................The Big Bang Theory 11:00 ....................... Shipping Wars 11:25 ....................... Shipping Wars 11:50......................... Channel 4 News Summary 11:55.................... Formula 1 13:35........................... The Big Bang Theory 14:05 ........................... Deal or No Deal 15:05................. Countdown 15:55.................... Formula 1 17:35 .............The Simpsons 18:00........ The Simpsons 18:30 .............. Hollyoaks 19:00 ..................Channel 4 News 19:30.............Unreported World 20:00 ....................... Food Unwrapped 20:30 ............ Travel Man

07:35..................Thomas and Friends

08:00 ........... Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 08:15 .....................Peppa Pig 08:25 .....................Peppa Pig 08:35 ....................Paw Patrol 08:50 ....................Bananas in Pajamas 09:00 ................Toot the Tiny Tugboat

12:10 ........................... 5 News Lunchtime 12:15..............Pets Make You Laugh Out Loud

20:00.....That’s So... 1994

21:00............ A League of Their Own

21:00.......................Police Interceptors

22:00...........Duck Quacks Don’t Echo

23:40 .............First Dates

22:00...................The Last Stand

23:00........ The Simpsons

00:40 ............... The Keep

00:10..........Super Casino

01:00 ........ Hawaii Five-0

21:00 ............ Gogglebox 22:00 ..........The Last Leg 23:05................ Raised by Wolves

09:35 ......Food Unwrapped 10:05 ......... Come Dine with Me Abroad 11:10 ...............Four in a Bed 11:45 ...............Four in a Bed 12:15 ...............Four in a Bed 12:50 ...............Four in a Bed 13:25................Four in a Bed 13:55.. Come Dine with Me 14:25.. Come Dine with Me 15:00.. Come Dine with Me 16:40......A Place in the Sun 17:45......A Place in the Sun 18:50............. Great Canal Journeys 19:55....... Grand Designs 21:00................Blue Eyes 22:10.............Kingdom of Heaven 00:55....... Grand Designs

09:15 ....................The Wright Stuff 11:15 ......................... Cowboy Builders

00:00..NCIS: Los Angeles

23 CW

19:00...American Pickers 20:00.. Ice Road Truckers 21:00............Dangerman 22:00................... Sin City 00:20....... Not Going Out 01:00....... Not Going Out 01:40....... Not Going Out

MasterChef BBC1, 20:30

It’s the quarterfinal and the six talented heat winners have no time to rest on their laurels as they continue to fight for their place in the competition.

The week’s best amateurs will be put through the mill with a seriously daunting test set by one of the country’s toughest food critics.

Charles Campion’s challenge is for the amateur cooks to make an exceptional dish centred on one ingredient - brill.

After cooking their dish based on this brief, the contestants must stand before Charles, John and Gregg to hear what each thinks of their dish and how well they have kept to the brief. At the end, the best cooks will go through to Knockout Week, taking another step closer to being crowned MasterChef Champion 2016.

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TV Guide

1st April - 7th April 2016

Sat 2nd April 06:00 ...................... Breakfast 10:00 ........................Saturday Kitchen Live 11:30 ..................MasterChef 12:00.................... BBC News 12:05........................ Weather 12:10............ Football Focus 12:50...Saturday Sportsday 13:00.............. Bargain Hunt 14:00.............. Homes Under the Hammer 15:00................Escape to the Continent 16:00....................Final Score 17:20 ...........Now You See It 17:50 .....................BBC News 18:00.......Regional News 18:05 .................Weather 18:10.....Can’t Touch This 19:00 ......... The Voice UK

06:30................. I Remember Mama

06:00......... Bottom Knocker Street

08:40 ............... The Women’s Football Show

06:15......... Bottom Knocker Street

09:10........................ A Distant Trumpet

06:25...........Dino Dan: Trek’s Adventures

11:00 .............Natural World

06:35.......... Dino Dan: Trek’s Adventures

12:00...........Rick Stein: From Venice to Istanbul 13:00......................... The Best Dishes Ever 13:30 ......... Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers Talking Pictures

07:15 ......................... Looped

14:20...............Easter Parade

07:50.............. Horrid Henry

16:00........................... Flog It! 17:00 ......Big Dreams, Small Spaces 18:00.............. Gardeners’ World

21:05 ................ Casualty

18:30.......Bake Off Crème de la Crème

21:55 .......... The National Lottery Live

19:30.... Tribes, Predators and Me

22:05............... BBC News

20:30.............Dad’s Army

22:20..................Weather 23:55 ................. Salvage

21:00...John Le Mesurier: It’s All Been Rather Lovely

01:10...... Weather for the Week Ahead

22:00...................Quartet 23:35.................The Lady

01:15............... BBC News

01:40...... This is BBC Two

22:25... Match of the Day

06:45 .............. Share a Story 06:50............................. Sooty 07:05......................... Super 4 07:30.................. Scrambled!

07:35 ..................Scrambled!

08:10.................. Scrambled!

08:30...................Scrambled!

09:05 ..................Scrambled!

09:25 .......................... Murder, She Wrote 10:20 .......................... Murder, She Wrote 11:15 ......... The Jeremy Kyle Show 12:20.............. ITV News and Weather 12:30................... The Jeremy Kyle Show 13:30.............. Judge Rinder 14:30.................... The Chase 15:35 .......................... Planet’s Got Talent 16:00.......... Nanny McPhee

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Ant & Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway

That’s So Last Century

18:00....... Regional News and Weather

More 4, 23:05

18:15......... ITV News and Weather

The pace of modern life, with entertainment and technological advances so rapid, leaves the marvels and wonders of just a few short years ago looking and feeling terribly dated. That’s So Last Century invites celebrities to take a warm and funny walk down memory lane, to reacquaint themselves with the gadgets, games and gizmos of their childhood and gifts from Christmas past, and see how well they’ve stood the test of time. This episode is all about playtime, as the celebs relive how they misspent their youth.

Jimmy Carr, James Corden, Dom Joly, Will Mellor and family, Doc Brown and family, and Vic Reeves and family rediscover late-20th-century toys like Magic Eye books, Domino Rally, Crossfire, Subbuteo, the Game Boy, some very unusual dolls, and the Omnibot robot butler. How will the kids of today cope?

18:30 ........... You’ve Been Framed!

19:00.......Ant and Dec’s W C Saturday Night choice Takeaway 20:30............. You’re Back in the Room 21:35..........The Jonathan Ross Show 22:30..........ITV News and Weather 22:45................. Hot Fuzz 00:50............ Jackpot247

ITV1, 19.00 It’s all aboard for the dazzling grand finale of the series, live from the deck of a cruise ship in Barcelona!

It’s a suitably star-studded affair as star of stage and screen James Nesbitt takes the helm as the Guest Announcer, the UK’s greatest tennis player and Wimbledon legend Andy Murray meets cheeky Little Ant & Dec and 80’s pop sensation super hunk Peter Andre gets to Singalong Live with his classic Mysterious Girl.

The truth finally comes out in the last thrilling installment of Who Shot Simon Cowell? and the boys do battle once again in Ant vs Dec - but who will beat The Cube to win the series? There’s a huge surprise for one unsuspecting Cruise passenger and we round off the series with one of the most spectacular all-singing, all-dancing End Of The Show Shows that has ever been seen.

All that plus one lucky audience member gets to find out what the Fickle Finger Of Fate has in store for them in the only show that says ‘Don’t just watch the adverts – Win ‘em!”

Formula 1 Channel 4, 15:00 Bahrain Grand Prix Qualifying Live. Steve Jones presents live coverage of Qualifying for the Bahrain Grand Prix.

Current world champion Lewis Hamilton will be after a repeat of last season’s pole position as he vies for his third consecutive Bahrain win. However, Mercedes team-mate Nico Rosberg is still hoping to avenge his defeat by Hamilton in 2014 when the two drivers fought out a sensational race under the floodlights. Ferrari’s Sebastian Vettel, who secured a front row start last year, will also be looking to set up a third Bahrain win.

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

1st April - 7th April 2016

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06:15............ How I Met Your Mother 06:40............ How I Met Your Mother 07:05.........................Freerider World Tour 07:30........ Mobil 1 The Grid 08:00........ Everybody Loves Raymond 08:30.........Everybody Loves Raymond 09:00 ..... The Morning Line 10:00.......... Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. 11:00 ..... The Superhumans Show 11:30........................... The Big Bang Theory 12:00........................... The Big Bang Theory 12:30 ...........................The Big Bang Theory 12:55......................Formula 1 14:05 ......Channel 4 Racing 15:00..................Formula 1

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17:30................... Speed with Guy Martin 18:30..... Channel 4 News

19:00............. The World’s Weirdest Weather 20:00 ........ Beatrix Potter with Patricia Routledge

06:00..................... Peppa Pig 06:05 ....................Bananas in Pajamas 06:20.... Angelina Ballerina 06:30 ..........Bob the Builder 06:45 ...................Tickety Toc 06:55 .........Zack and Quack 07:05 ...............Make Way for Noddy 07:20 ....................Paw Patrol 07:35 ............. Little Princess 07:45...................... Pip Ahoy!

08:00............... Blaze and the Monster Machines 08:25........... Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 08:40 ........... Wanda and the Alien 08:55 .............The Fairly Odd Parents 09:13 .............The Fairly Odd Parents 09:30................ The Saturday Show Live

13:25.............................. Police Interceptors 14:25 .........................The Dog Rescuers 15:20 .........................The Dog Rescuers 16:20...... The Dog Rescuers with Alan Davies 17:15 ......The Dog Rescuers with Alan Davies 18:10................. NCIS: Los Angeles 19:00............... NCIS: New Orleans 20:00........................NCIS 20:55... 5 News Weekend 21:00 ..........................The Championship

21:00......Identity Thief

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23:15...................... Sliver

01:10................Hollyoaks Omnibus

06:00 ...................Emmerdale Omnibus 08:35....... Coronation Street Omnibus 11:00............... Ant and Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway 12:35 ...................The Almost Impossible Gameshow 13:30........................Scorpion 14:25.............................A Little Princess 16:25...................Britain’s Got More Talent 17:30 ..................Happy Feet 19:35........... The Mummy Returns 22:00....... Celebrity Juice 22:50............. Family Guy 23:45.......American Dad! 00:45........... The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift

06:10...... Who Do You Think You Are? USA

08:55 ...................Time Team

07:00...... Who Do You Think You Are? USA

11:50 ......................Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals

06:00 ............. Ashley Banjo’s Secret Street Crew 08:00......... Game Changers 08:30.... The 1986 Masters Jack’s Glorious 18th 09:00...................The Fantasy Football Club 10:00 ................. Soccer A.M. 12:00 ...............The F1 Show 12:30........... Modern Family 14:30............ Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams 16:30 .............The Simpsons 17:00...................... Supergirl 18:00 ...............The Flash 19:00....NCIS: Los Angeles 20:00......... Hawaii Five-0 21:00.................Limitless 22:00.....An Idiot Abroad 23:00.............A League of Their Own 00:00...........Duck Quacks Don’t Echo

07:10 ..........Extreme Fishing with Robson Green 08:00 ...... American Pickers 09:00 ...... American Pickers 10:00....................... Top Gear 11:00 .......................Top Gear 12:00 .........Motorway Cops 13:00 .........Motorway Cops 14:00 ........ Storage Hunters 15:00........ Storage Hunters 17:00 ......Ice Road Truckers 18:00.. Ice Road Truckers 19:00...... Blackadder the Third 19:40....... Blackadder the Third 21:00...Gavin and Stacey 22:20...Gavin and Stacey 23:00........ Dave Gorman: Modern Life is Goodish 00:00....................... QI XL 01:00..... 8 Out of 10 Cats 01:30..... 8 Out of 10 Cats

08:00...... Who Do You Think You Are? USA 09:00 .......................... The Bill 14:00.................... EastEnders Omnibus 16:30..... Dynamo: Magician Impossible 17:30..... Dynamo: Magician Impossible 18:30.Dynamo: Magician Impossible 19:30........ Derren Brown: Trick of the Mind 20:00............Doctor Who 21:00................ Bad Boys 23:15..... Neighbourhood Blues 00:15.......... Saving Hope 01:15...Being Human USA

10:00............ Bugsy Malone

12:20............... Four in a Bed 15:00..........................Channel 4 Racing 16:45 ........... Grand Designs 17:50............. Vet on the Hill 18:55............ Great Canal Journeys 20:00.............. Father Ted 20:30.............. Father Ted 21:00......It Was Alright in the 1960s 22:00......It Was Alright in the 1990s 23:05......That’s So Last Century

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00:15...... 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown 01:15..............Speed with Guy Martin

11:30.............................. Police Interceptors 12:25.............................. Police Interceptors

22:00...............Goal Rush 22:30........................NCIS 23:25........................NCIS 00:15..........Super Casino

25 CW

06:00 ............Barclays Premier League Preview 06:30 ................ Football Gold 07:00 ................ Football Gold 07:30 ............Barclays Premier League Preview 08:00 ...........Game Changers 08:30 ........................Nick Kicks 09:00..................... The Fantasy Football Club 10:00 .....................Soccer A.M. 12:00 ............................Football 14:45 ....... Live Pro 12 Rugby 17:00 .......Live Ford Saturday Night Football 20:00....... Live Fight Night 23:30 ...........Super League Highlights 00:00...................... La Liga 00:15. Sporting Mavericks 00:45.. Sporting Triumphs 01:00...SNF: Match Choice

Identity Thief, Channel 4, 21:00

Jason Bateman and Melissa McCarthy star in Seth Gordon’s crime comedy.

Accountant Sandy Patterson is at work when he gets a call from a credit card fraud protection company and unthinkingly confirms his personal details before returning to pondering why he’s not had a bonus in three years.

Unfortunately, the call wasn’t legitimate.

It was made by con woman Diana, who, now she’s stolen his identity, embarks on a massive booze and spending binge. Sandy is soon arrested for a variety of crimes committed by Diana, and while the police are prepared to believe him, circumstances conspire to mean that Sandy alone can stop her.

But first he must track her down in Florida and then drag her, violently unwilling, back to Denver and justice.

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TV Guide

Undercover BBC1, 21.00

For the past 20 years Maya Cobbina (Sophie Okonedo) has defended Rudy Jones (Dennis Haysbert), a man falsely imprisoned for murder. Today he is to be executed by lethal injection in Louisiana. Rudy’s parting words are “Go big” - he wants her to change the system that allows such injustices to occur.

With Rudy’s appeal ringing in her ears, Maya returns to London and discovers that she’s been pegged to take the role of Director of Public Prosecutions, a prominent position that might allow her to finally bring to justice the death of her friend Michael Antwi (Sope Dirisu), a charismatic anti-racism campaigner.

Maya’s husband Nick Johnson (Adrian Lester) is a man dedicated to his wife and children. When the hidden past threatens to destroy his world, to what lengths will he go to protect his family?

The Durrells ITV1, 20.00 Louisa Durrell’s (Keeley Hawes) life is in meltdown. Her four unruly children are going off the rails. 11-year-old Gerald (Milo Parker) is about to be thrown out of school, Larry (Josh O’Connor), the eldest is a would-be novelist but the worst estate agent in Bournemouth and the middle two, neurotic Margo (Daisy Waterstone) and gun mad Leslie (Callum Woodhouse) are hitting adulthood like a car crash. It is 1935 and a woman’s options are limited. Much to Larry’s bemusement she takes his flippant advice and makes a radical change by whisking her family away to the sun drenched island of Corfu. A cheap and untamed paradise - which also happens to have no electricity.

Having barely enough money to survive they find themselves relying on charismatic local, Spiro Hakaiopulos (Alexis Georgoulis). Spiro not only finds them a ramshackle house to live in, he also installs Lugaretzia (Anna Savva) as their home-help who is very cheap but a complete hypochondriac.

Despite the beauty of the island, the children soon fall back into their old ways. Corfu provides the perfect inspiration for Larry’s writing and he exacts his revenge on Leslie who insists upon shooting at anything and everything, driving the family mad. Margo takes advantage of the idyllic weather but soon runs into trouble with a local monk (Nick Orestis Chaniotakis) and has to use her feminine guile to win him round.

Words fail Margo however, when Larry’s wealthy, party loving friends Max (Max Befort) and Donald (Ben Hall) arrive and she finds herself instantly besotted with Max. For Gerry the island is his paradise. Rich in exciting species he happily spends his days exploring with Roger the dog and his new found friend and kindred spirit, Dr Theodore (Theo) Stephanides (Yorgos Karamihos). Much to the family’s bewilderment the terrace is soon filled with an eclectic menagerie of animals (pelican and tortoise) and insects (wolf spider), which Gerry eagerly brings home to study.

Believing their mother needs a love interest, Larry invites Captain Creech (James Cosmo) for dinner. However, his suitability for Louisa’s affections quickly proves doubtful when it appears that Larry has brought an old sea dog to the table.

1st April - 7th April 2016

Sun 3rd april

06:00 ...................... Breakfast 07:25 ...... Match of the Day 09:00 ................. The Andrew Marr Show 10:00 .... The Big Questions 11:00 .............Wanted Down Under Revisited 12:00 .............. Bargain Hunt 13:00 .....................BBC News 13:10 .......... Weather for the Week Ahead 13:15....... Homes Under the Hammer 14:15.............. Secret Britain 15:15 ...............Escape to the Country 16:00............. Points of View 16:15........... Songs of Praise 17:00 .............. Life in the Air 18:00..........Paul O Grady: The Sally Army and Me 18:30............... BBC News 18:55..................Weather 19:00.............Countryfile 20:00................. Antiques Roadshow W 21:00.........Undercover Coice ch 22:00............... BBC News 22:25..................Weather 22:30.. Match of the Day 2 23:35............ Butterfly on a Wheel

W C c h oice

06:45 .......This Farming Life 07:45...... Gardeners’ World

06:00......... Bottom Knocker Street

08:15................. Island Parish Shetland

06:15.......... Bottom Knocker Street

08:45 ........ The Beechgrove Garden

06:25 ..........Dino Dan: Trek’s Adventures

09:15................... Countryfile

06:35...........Dino Dan: Trek’s Adventures

10:15.........Saturday Kitchen Best Bites

06:45 .............. Share a Story

11:45.The Best Dishes Ever

06:50 .............................Sooty

12:15.............. MOTD2 Extra

07:05......................... Super 4

13:00............. Silk Stockings

07:15 ......................... Looped

14:55........................... Flog It!

07:30 ..................Scrambled!

15:30............ Figure Skating

07:35 ..................Scrambled!

17:00......... The Hairy Bikers’ Northern Exposure

07:50 ..................Scrambled!

18:00............... The Secret History of My Family

08:30 ..................Scrambled!

19:00....... Bletchley Park: Codebreaking’s Forgotten Genius 20:00........... Natural Born Winners 21:00.... Tribes, Predators and Me 22:00................. Thirteen 23:00...... The People v OJ Simpson: American Crime Story 23:40............. Snow Cake 01:25............ Countryfile

Home Fires ITV1, 21.00

It’s June 1940, and Britain faces the threat of imminent invasion. As the Battle of Britain looms, the villagers of Great Paxford live under a cloud of fear and suspicion.

Pat (Claire Rushbrook) strikes up a friendship with a Czech soldier stationed nearby, but her joy at independence from Bob (Mark Bazeley) is short lived. Meanwhile, Laura (Leila Mimmack) is forced to face the consequences of her affair with Richard Bowers (Philip McGinley), whilst Spencer (Mike Noble) and Claire’s (Daisy Badger) relationship takes an unexpected turn.

08:10 ..................Scrambled!

09:05 ..................Scrambled!

09:25 .............. FIA Formula e Championship Highlights 10:20........................... Murder, She Wrote 11:20 ...................The Jeremy Kyle Show 12:25.............. ITV News and Weather 12:35....................The Jeremy Kyle Show 13:40................................ River Monsters 14:40........................ Big Star’s Little Star 15:40 ........................ Off Their Rockers 16:10 .....................The Living Daylights 18:35 .......Regional News and Weather 19:00............... The Chase Celebrity Special

CW 21:00...........Home Fires CW oice 20:00........The Durrells

ch oice ch

22:00 .........ITV News and Weather 22:15...........The Olivier Awards

CW

ch oice

00:00......................Rugby Highlights 00:55............ Jackpot247

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TV Guide

1st April - 7th April 2016

27 CW

W C c h oice 06:15 ........... How I Met Your Mother 06:40............ How I Met Your Mother 07:00 ........Everybody Loves Raymond 07:30.........Everybody Loves Raymond 08:00.........Everybody Loves Raymond 08:30 ........................... Frasier 09:00 ........................... Frasier

06:00................Children’s TV

06:00.............. The Hot Desk

06:05 ..............Bondi Rescue

07:55................Blaze and the Monster Machines

06:10........ Planet’s Funniest Animals

06:30...............Bondi Rescue

08:20............ Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom

06:30 ...................Emmerdale Omnibus

07:30.............. Bondi Rescue

08:35 ...................Wanda and the Alien

09:00....... Coronation Street Omnibus

08:50..........Toby’s Travelling Circus

11:30................ Take Me Out

09:00................... Jelly Jamm

13:45.......................Peter Pan

09:20..................... LazyTown

15:55.................. Britain’s Got More Talent

12:45............... Catchphrase

07:00.............. Bondi Rescue 08:00.............. Bondi Rescue 09:00........My Dream Home 10:00....... My Dream Home 11:00....... My Dream Home 12:00.................... EastEnders Omnibus 14:30 ................ Doctor Who

09:30 .......... Sunday Brunch

09:45......... Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 10:20....The Championship

16:55............... Ant and Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway

15:30................ Doctor Who

12:30 ...........George Clarke’s Amazing Spaces 13:35 ...........................The Big Bang Theory

11:20.................... Goal Rush

18:25 ............. King Kong

20:00 .... The Musketeers

11:50..... The Gadget Show

22:00............ Family Guy

12:45 ... Police Interceptors

23:30........... Bordertown

21:15 .........Dynamo: Live at the O2

13:45 ....Greatest Animated Movies

00:00 ......American Dad!

14:00 ...........................The Big Bang Theory 15:00.................... Formula 1 18:30..... Speed with Guy Martin: F1 Special 19:30..... Channel 4 News 20:00............. Great Canal Journeys 21:00...Indian Summers

CW

ch oice

22:00............. Gogglebox

23:00...............Formula 1 00:00................I Love You Phillip Morris 01:45......... Embarrassing Bodies

W C c h oice

16:40............. Legends of Oz: Dorothy’s Return 18:20..... Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

00:55 ........The Cleveland Show 01:25.........The Cleveland Show

17:30................. Doctor Who

23:35..........Get Me to the Church 00:35..... Neighbourhood Blues

01:50.............@Elevenish

01:35..........Being Human USA

06:00 ... The Hour of Power 07:00 ............. RSPCA Animal Rescue 08:00................ Monkey Life 09:00 ...................... Supergirl 10:00.......................The Flash 11:00..................... WWE Raw 12:00 ..................... Futurama 13:00..................... Futurama 17:00 .............The Simpsons 17:30 .............. The Muppets 18:00 ..... Modern Family 18:30 ....... The Simpsons 19:00 ..... Dogs Might Fly 20:00...........Duck Quacks Don’t Echo 21:00......... Hawaii Five-0 22:00..NCIS: Los Angeles 23:00............ Ross Kemp’s Britain 00:00.. Stop, Search, Seize 01:00............... The Force: Manchester

07:10............. Megatruckers 07:35 ............. Megatruckers 08:00 ......................... Red Bull Soapbox Race 09:00 .........Motorway Cops 11:00 ........ Storage Hunters 13:00 ........ Storage Hunters 14:00 ....................Red Dwarf 14:40 ....................Red Dwarf 15:20.................... Red Dwarf 16:00 ............Blackadder the Third 18:00.................. Red Bull Soapbox Race 19:00................ Top Gear 20:00................ Top Gear 21:00.......Have I Got a Bit More News for You 22:00....................... QI XL 23:00................ Parks and Recreation 00:00...... Mock the Week 00:40...... Mock the Week

08:55....River Cottage Bites 09:25...................Discovering Britain 10:20............. Selling Houses with Amanda Lamb 11:25 ......................Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals 12:00.....Come Dine with Me 13:35....Come Dine with Me 14:40................Four in a Bed 16:15................Four in a Bed 17:20.................... Come Dine with Me 17:55.............. Come Dine with Me 20:00 ................Car S.O.S 21:00............ Kingdom of Heaven 23:50............. 24 Hours in A and E 00:50..............Speed with Guy Martin 01:55.................... Thicker Than Water

20:00.Now That’s Funny!

20:55... 5 News Weekend 21:00......Penn and Teller: Fool Us in Vegas 22:00......................Carrie 00:00... Johnstone’s Paint Trophy Final 00:55..........Super Casino

Indian Summers Channel 4, 21:00

of the epic drama picks up in 1935, where India dreams of independence, but the British are clinging to power. A fashion show at the club ends with a horrifying attack on one of the guests, but who is really responsible? Ralph plays detective to find the culprit, but the truth is more terrible than he could have imagined and threatens to leave his political career in tatters. Elsewhere, Sirene continues to cause chaos in Simla, as she clashes with Cynthia and wreaks havoc in Ralph and Madeleine’s marriage.

06:00.... Sporting Triumphs 07:00.......... Premier League 07:30.... SNF: Match Choice 09:00................... The Sunday Supplement 10:30........ Goals on Sunday 12:30............Live Ford Super Sunday 15:30............Live Ford Super Sunday 19:00... Sir Alex Ferguson Interview 19:30.................... Boxing 20:00..... Football League Goals 21:00... Goals on Sunday 22:00.................... Boxing 22:30... Sir Alex Ferguson Interview 23:00.......... Ford Football Special 00:30.........Football Gold 00:50..................Football

The Olivier Awards 2016 ITV1, 22.15

ITV will broadcast highlights from the 40th anniversary Olivier Awards 2016 on Sunday 3rd April, hosted by Michael Ball.

The illustrious event promises to be one of the most spectacular in the history of the West End, as a host of theatre luminaries, entertainment icons and celebrated guests come together to applaud the performers, directors and productions that have stood out over the past year.

A show-stopping evening of celebration, awardgiving and live performances, last year’s ceremony saw hit musical Wicked scoop the prestigious Audience Award, Penelope Wilton take home the Best Actress award, Angela Lansbury win Best Actress in a Supporting Role and Hollywood star Kevin Spacey scoop the Society Special Award.

CW 28

W C c h oice

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TV Guide

Sex Box Channel 4, 22:00

Sex Box returns, full of frank and funny information on how we can all improve our sex lives. Presented by Steve Jones and the Belgian sexologist Goedele Liekens, this series of new episodes is packed full of insight and laughter. In each episode, couples go into the ‘box’ to try something new, after receiving expert guidance from Goedele.

They then emerge to talk about the experience. In the first episode, Goedele meets a student who wants to lose her lesbian virginity and gives her a master class in oral sex. She coaches a young couple in erotic massage and gives advice to a couple of best friends who want to make their relationship sexual. And Steve Jones reviews the latest weird and wonderful sex news from around the world, including perhaps the most unusual and surprising sex toy ever created.

1st April - 7th April 2016

Mon 4th April 06:00 ...................... Breakfast

06:00 ...........................Flog It!

09:15................. Fake Britain

06:30 ......... Call the Council

06:00 ............ Good Morning Britain

10:00...... Homes Under the Hammer

07:15 ................... Think Tank

08:30 ........................ Lorraine

08:00 .................. Caught Red Handed

09:25 ...................The Jeremy Kyle Show

08:30 ...... Gardeners’ World

10:30 .............. This Morning

09:00........................... Victoria Derbyshire

12:30 .........Gok’s Lunchbox

12:15 .............. Bargain Hunt 13:00.................... BBC News

11:00....BBC Newsroom Live

13:30............. ITV Lunchtime News

13:30........... Regional News

12:00.... The Chef’s Protege

14:00 .............. Judge Rinder

13:45 .........................Doctors

12:30 ............... Pressure Pad

14:15 ................... Think Tank

13:15 ........................... Becket

15:00 ..........Dickinson’s Real Deal

15:00............... Escape to the Country

15:40 .... The Indian Doctor

15:45 ........................... My Life on a Plate

17:15............... Bargain Hunt

16:30 ...........................Flog It!

18:30........... Great British Railway Journeys

11:00 ......... Call the Council 11:45 .................. Caught Red Handed

17:15 .......................Pointless 18:00.............. BBC News 18:30...... Regional News 19:00....... The One Show 19:30.............. Panorama 20:00............ EastEnders 20:30 ............ The Vikings Uncovered

16:25............Coast Australia 18:00.............. Eggheads

19:00.... The Hairy Bikers’ Northern Exposure 20:00............... University Challenge 20:30........... Island Parish Shetland

Plebs

22:00 .............. BBC News

21:00...... The People v OJ Simpson: American Crime Story

22:30 ......Regional News

ITV2, 22.00

21:45...................... QI XL

22:40 .................Weather

22:30 .............Newsnight

It’s one year on in the Eternal City, as we flash forward all the way to 25BC. The new series picks up where the last one left off, with our three lowly Plebs still living in a squalid block in the worst part of town, which is

22:45 .................. Cuckoo

23:10 .................Weather

23:15 ........... The Graham Norton Show

23:15 .......... Natural Born Winners

00:05...... Weather for the Week Ahead

00:15 ........... MasterChef

00:10............... BBC News

01:15 ......... The Celebrity Apprentice USA

16:00.............. Tipping Point 17:00 ....................The Chase 18:00....... Regional News and Weather 18:25......... Party Election Broadcast by the Conservative Party 18:30............ ITV Evening News 19:00............ Emmerdale 19:30..Coronation Street 20:00.......Further Tales CW from Northumberland choice with Robson Green 20:30..Coronation Street 21:00................. Marcella 22:00...... ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:45............The Agenda 23:20..........The Jonathan Ross Show 00:20............ Jackpot247

now presided over by the ruthless Landlady (Maureen Lipman), as the fate of the unscrupulous Landlord (Karl Theobald) is still to be revealed.

They work dead-end jobs for Rome’s third largest grain supply company, under the direction of their fearsome boss Flavia (Doon Mackichan), and although the Games are in town, they can’t get tickets for any event - not even the pig chase.

However, an encounter with a fiery Gallic activist, Delphine (Bella Dayne), might at least improve Marcus’ romantic stakes. Could she possibly become his Gaul-friend? Or is she just a bit too real for him? Let the Games begin...

The boys are desperate for tickets to one of the ‘Beast shows’ at the Games.

Marcus meets Delphine, a fiery activist from Gaul, whom he hopes will become his ‘Gaul-friend’. Grumio clashes with Landlady, their missing Landlord’s formidable mother.

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TV Guide

1st April - 7th April 2016

W C c h oice

06:00 .................Countdown

06:00 ............. The Wotwots!

06:45 .................................. The Goldbergs

06:10............. Chloe’s Closet

07:10 .................................. The Goldbergs 07:35 .................................. The Goldbergs 08:00 ........Everybody Loves Raymond 08:30 ........Everybody Loves Raymond 09:00........................... Frasier 09:30 ........................... Frasier 10:00 ...........................The Big Bang Theory

06:20........... Lily’s Driftwood Bay 06:30 .............. Fireman Sam 06:40 .........................Wissper 06:50..................... Peppa Pig 06:55 ......................Pip Ahoy!

07:10 ............. Little Princess 07:20.......... Bob the Builder 07:35................. Thomas and Friends 07:50...... Noddy in Toyland 08:00 ........... Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom

10:30........................... The Big Bang Theory

08:15 .....................Peppa Pig

11:00.............Shipping Wars

08:25 .....................Peppa Pig

11:30............ Shipping Wars

08:35.....................Paw Patrol

12:00 ......... Channel 4 News Summary

08:50.................... Bananas in Pajamas

12:05 ...................... A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun

09:00................ Toot the Tiny Tugboat

13:10...................... A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun

11:15 .......Cowboy Builders

14:10........................... Deal or No Deal

12:15 ........... Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away

15:10 .................Countdown 16:00 .............Couples Come Dine with Me 17:00............... Four in a Bed 17:30 ........Too Many Cooks 18:00 ....... The Simpsons 18:30 .............. Hollyoaks 19:00 ..................Channel 4 News 20:00............. Dispatches 20:30 .....The Food Chain 21:00 ......The Island with Bear Grylls 22:00...............Sex Box

CW

ch oice

23:05................... 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown 00:10...... One Born Every Minute 01:05.................President Trump: Can He Really Win?

29 CW

09:15 ........ The Wright Stuff

06:00.............. The Hot Desk 06:10........ Planet’s Funniest Animals 06:30................ Dinner Date 07:20........................ The Ellen DeGeneres Show 08:00.................. Emmerdale 08:30 .....Coronation Street 09:35 ............... Catchphrase 10:15................ Dinner Date 11:15.................. Royal Pains 12:10.................. Emmerdale 12:45 .....Coronation Street 13:45........................ The Ellen DeGeneres Show 14:35 ...................The Jeremy Kyle Show 17:50................ Take Me Out 19:00............ You’ve Been Framed!

20:00............... Two and a Half Men 21:00............ Family Guy 22:00....................Plebs CW ch oice 23:00 ............ Family Guy 23:30 ......American Dad!

06:00 .........Betty White’s Off Their Rockers 06:25 ..... Who Do You Think You Are? USA 07:20 ...................EastEnders 08:00 ...................MasterChef Australia 09:00 ......... The Hairy Bikers’ Mississippi Adventure 10:00 .......................... The Bill 11:00 ..............Tipping Point 12:00 .............Wanted Down Under 13:00 .......My Dream Home 14:00 ......... The Hairy Bikers’ Mississippi Adventure 15:00...... Who Do You Think You Are? USA 16:00 .............Wanted Down Under 17:00........My Dream Home 18:00......... Tipping Point 19:00.............Battlechefs 20:00...... One Born: What Happened Next?

21:00..........Get Me to the Church 22:00............. EastEnders

08:55..............Jamie’s Money Saving Meals

06:00 .........................The Dog Whisperer

07:00........ Storage Hunters

07:00 ................................Glee

09:00 ...... American Pickers

06:00 ............. Football Gold 07:00 .................... WWE Raw 08:00 ....... Goals on Sunday 09:00 ............... Ford Football Special 10:30 ..................The Premier League Years 12:30............... Ford Football Special 14:00........ Goals on Sunday 15:00 ............. Football Gold 15:30......... Football League Goals 16:30......... Fantasy Football Club Highlights 17:00........ Soccer A.M. - The Best Bits 18:00.... Anthony Joshua: The Knockouts 19:30.... Live Elite League Speedway 21:30.................... Boxing 22:00.... Anthony Joshua: The Knockouts 23:30......SPFL Round Up

09:35...... Food Unwrapped 10:05............... Four in a Bed 11:10............... Four in a Bed 12:15............... Four in a Bed 12:50. Come Dine with Me 13:55. Come Dine with Me 15:00. Come Dine with Me 15:35.................... A New Life in the Sun 16:40...................... A Place in the Sun 18:50 ............ Great Canal Journeys 19:55...... Grand Designs 21:00....... Vet on the Hill 22:00............. 24 Hours in A and E 00:10................. Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 01:10........ Vet on the Hill

12:10 ........................... 5 News Lunchtime

13:15 ........Home and Away 13:45 .................Neighbours 14:15 ... NCIS: New Orleans 15:15............................ Access 15:20.......Deadly Suspicion 17:00 ..................5 News at 5 17:30 .................Neighbours 18:00.... Home and Away 18:30 ..... 5 News Tonight 19:00...... World’s Biggest Beasts 20:00...... Police Interceptors: Deadly Pursuits

08:00 ................................Glee 09:00........... Dogs Might Fly 10:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0 12:00 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles 13:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0 15:00........... Modern Family 16:00..................... Futurama 17:00 .............The Simpsons 17:30..................... Futurama 18:00............... Futurama 18:30........ The Simpsons

07:20....................... Top Gear 10:00 .. The Indestructibles 10:30 .. The Indestructibles 11:00 ........ Storage Hunters 12:00 .......................Top Gear 13:00 .......................Top Gear 14:00 ...... American Pickers 15:00 .......... Sin City Motors 16:00 ........ Storage Hunters 17:00........................Top Gear 18:00................ American Pickers

21:00..... The Tube: Going Underground

20:00 .........The Muppets

22:00............Neighbours

21:00 ....An Idiot Abroad

21:00...... Mock the Week

23:00..................... Person of Interest

22:00........... Ross Kemp’s Britain

22:20...... Mock the Week 23:00. Last Man on Earth

23:55..................... Person of Interest

23:00.................Limitless

23:30............................ QI

00:00..NCIS: Los Angeles

00:10............................ QI

00:45..........Super Casino

01:00 ........ Hawaii Five-0

01:30...............Room 101

20:30 ..... Modern Family

20:00.................. Ice Road Truckers

Further Tales from Northumberland with Robson Green ITV1, 20.00

In this sixth episode, Robson is travelling along the route of the mighty Tyne - a river steeped in history and tradition.

His journey starts close to the border with Scotland at Kielder Water and Forest Park, where he has a messy encounter with some rare osprey chicks and learns about the plight of the river’s salmon.

Robson visits Cherryburn, former home of one of Britain’s greatest wildlife illustrators, Thomas Bewick.

Finally, Robson joins the Tyne Rowing Club and learns the story of the great NorthEast rower Harry Clasper.

CW 30

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TV Guide

1st April - 7th April 2016

Tue 5th April 06:00 ...................... Breakfast 09:15................. Fake Britain 10:00...... Homes Under the Hammer 11:00 ......... Call the Council 11:45................... Caught Red Handed 12:15 .............. Bargain Hunt 13:00 .....................BBC News 13:30 ...........Regional News 13:45 .........................Doctors 14:15................... Think Tank 15:00 ...............Escape to the Country 15:45 .....................My Life on a Plate 16:30........................... Flog It! 17:15....................... Pointless 18:00............... BBC News 18:30 ......Regional News 19:00 .......The One Show 19:30............ EastEnders 20:00 ............. Holby City 21:00..........The A Word

CW

ch oice

22:00 .............. BBC News 22:30 ......Regional News

22:40 .................Weather 22:45 ..........Murdered by My Father 00:00...... Weather for the Week Ahead 00:05............... BBC News

W C c h oice

06:00 ...........................Flog It! 06:30 ......... Call the Council 07:15 ................... Think Tank 08:00...Caught Red Handed 08:30..................Great British Railway Journeys 09:00... Victoria Derbyshire 11:00..BBC Newsroom Live 12:00.... The Chef’s Protege 12:30...................... The Super League Show 13:15 ................................ Golf 14:15............ The Man in the White Suit 15:40..... The Indian Doctor 16:25........... Coast Australia 17:15.............. Bargain Hunt 18:0.............. 0 Eggheads 18:30 .......... Great British Railway Journeys 19:00.... The Hairy Bikers’ Northern Exposure 20:00.......Bake Off Crème de la Crème 21:00....... Inside Obama’s White House 22:00............... Scrappers 22:30..............Newsnight 23:10..................Weather 23:15.................. Horizon 00:15............ MasterChef 01:15...........This Farming Life

06:00 ............ Good Morning Britain 08:30......................... Lorraine 09:25 ...................The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30 .............. This Morning 12:30......... Gok’s Lunchbox 13:30............. ITV Lunchtime News 14:00.............. Judge Rinder 15:00 ................... Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:00 ..............Tipping Point 17:00 ....................The Chase 18:00....... Regional News and Weather 18:25 ........ Party Election Broadcast by the Labour Party 18:30 ........... ITV Evening News 19:00............ Emmerdale 19:30 .......The Inspectors are Coming 20:00...... How Not to DIY

W Coice 21:00.....................Drive ch 22:00...... ITV News at Ten and Weather 22:45......On Assignment 23:15.......The Goodwood Members’ Meeting 00:15............ Jackpot247

Drive ITV1, 21.00

ITV’s brand new entertainment series, Drive, features the thrills and spills of motor racing and pitches eight well known celebrities against each other in an adrenalin charged race with a difference.

In the first show of the series host Vernon Kay meets the eight celebrities - rapper Professor Green; singer Ella Eyre; TV personality Louis Walsh; actor and comedian Johnny Vegas; Olympic athlete Colin Jackson; TV presenter Mariella Frostrup; weather expert Laura Tobin and broadcaster Angus Deayton. UK racing legend and double British Touring Car Champion Jason Plato is also on hand with his expert advice and introduces the group to their first challenge of the series; Banger Racing.

Banger Racing is one of the hardest of all motor sports - it’s rough and it’s tough and the celebrities will have to prove they have what it takes to blast over the finish line and through to next week’s show.

In the first race of the series to determine who goes straight through to the following week’s show the eight celebrities are split into two groups. Each group of four have to race against each other in their banger cars completing 10 laps around the track. But it’s not just each other that they are up against… Four menacing ‘Wreckers’ will also be joining the race with the sole purpose of wreaking havoc. The winner from each of these groups will automatically go through to next week’s driving challenge, leaving the other remaining six celebrities to battle it out and compete in a second banger race.

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TV Guide

1st April - 7th April 2016

31 CW

W C c h oice 06:00 .................Countdown

06:00 ............. The Wotwots!

06:45 ........... The Goldbergs

06:10 .............Chloe’s Closet

07:10........... The Goldbergs 07:35 ........... The Goldbergs

06:20 ...........Lily’s Driftwood Bay

08:00........ Everybody Loves Raymond

06:30.............. Fireman Sam 06:40 .........................Wissper

08:30.........Everybody Loves Raymond

06:50 .....................Peppa Pig

06:00 .........Betty White’s Off Their Rockers 06:25...... Who Do You Think You Are? USA 07:20 ...................EastEnders 08:00 ...................MasterChef Australia 09:00.................. Battlechefs 10:00 .......................... The Bill 11:00.............. Tipping Point 12:00 .............Wanted Down Under 13:00 .......My Dream Home 14:00 .................. Battlechefs 15:00 ..... Who Do You Think You Are? USA 16:00 .............Wanted Down Under 17:00 .......My Dream Home 18:00........ Tipping Point 19:00.............Battlechefs 20:00 ..... One Born: What Happened Next?

21:00 ................... Grimm 22:00 ............ EastEnders 22:40 .........Get Me to the Church

08:55 .............Jamie’s Money Saving Meals

09:00 ........................... Frasier

07:10 ............. Little Princess

09:30 ........................... Frasier

07:20 ..........Bob the Builder

10:00 ...........................The Big Bang Theory

07:35 .................Thomas and Friends

10:30........................... The Big Bang Theory

07:50 ......Noddy in Toyland

06:00 .........................The Dog Whisperer

07:00............Storage Hunters

07:00 ................................Glee

08:10.......................... Top Gear

13:15 ........Home and Away

08:00 ................................Glee

09:00......... American Pickers

13:45................. Neighbours

09:00 ...........Modern Family

10:00..... The Indestructibles

20:00 ...............Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners

14:20............................... NCIS

10:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0

11:00........... Storage Hunters

15:20................ Stolen Child

12:00 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles

12:00 ..........................Top Gear

17:00.................. 5 News at 5

13:00.............. Hawaii Five-0

17:30 .................Neighbours

15:00 ...........Modern Family

14:00 .........American Pickers

21:00...... One Born Every Minute 22:00 .............First Dates

18:00...................... Home and Away

16:00..................... Futurama

23:05 ............ 24 Hours in A and E

18:30..... 5 News Tonight

17:00............. The Simpsons

19:00.......................Police Interceptors: Deadly Pursuits

17:30 ..................... Futurama

06:00 ............. Football Gold 07:00 ...WWE SmackDown!

08:00 ........Soccer A.M. - The Best Bits 09:00 ............. Football Gold 09:30 ..........SPFL Round Up 10:00........... Premier League Legends 10:30 ..................The Premier League Years 12:30 ..........SPFL Round Up 13:00................. Elite League Speedway 15:00.........Soccer A.M. - The Best Bits 16:00..........Barclays Premier League Review 17:00...........SPFL Round Up 17:30.................Boxing Gold 18:00.................... Boxing 18:30.... Barclays Premier League Review 19:30.................... Boxing 22:30.....................La Liga World 2015 23:00.... Barclays Premier League Review

06:55.......................Pip Ahoy!

11:00 ............Shipping Wars

08:00 ........... Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom

11:30 ............Shipping Wars

08:15..................... Peppa Pig

12:00 ......... Channel 4 News Summary

08:25 .....................Peppa Pig

12:05............... A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun

08:45 ....................Bananas in Pajamas

13:10 ...............A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun

08:35 ....................Paw Patrol

09:00 ................Toot the Tiny Tugboat

14:10......... Deal or No Deal

09:15 ........ The Wright Stuff

15:10 .................Countdown

11:15 ......................... Cowboy Builders

16:00 .............Couples Come Dine with Me 17:00 ...............Four in a Bed 17:30.........Too Many Cooks 18:00........ The Simpsons 18:30 .............. Hollyoaks 19:00...................Channel 4 News

00:10 ..... Poker Stars and Monte-Carlo Casino Ept Grand Final 01:05...........KOTV Boxing Weekly 01:30......... Gillette World Sport 01:55.................... Mobil 1 The Grid

12:10 ........................... 5 News Lunchtime 12:15 .........Trauma Doctors: Every Second Counts

20:00.......Britain’s Horror Homes 21:00....... Benefits by the Sea: Jaywick

06:00 ..............The Hot Desk 06:10........ Planet’s Funniest Animals 06:30................. Dinner Date 07:20........................ The Ellen DeGeneres Show 08:00 ..................Emmerdale 08:30..... Coronation Street 09:35............... Catchphrase 10:15 ................ Dinner Date 11:15 .................. Royal Pains 12:10 ..................Emmerdale 12:45 .....Coronation Street 13:45........................ The Ellen DeGeneres Show 14:35 ......... The Jeremy Kyle Show 17:50 ................Take Me Out 18:50 ........ The Hot Desk 19:00 ........... You’ve Been Framed!

20:00............... Two and a Half Men 21:00.......... The Wedding Planner 23:10 ............ Family Guy 00:10 ......American Dad! 01:05 ...............Two and a Half Men

09:35...... Food Unwrapped 10:05 ...............Four in a Bed 11:10 ...............Four in a Bed 12:50 ...Come Dine with Me 13:55 ...Come Dine with Me 15:35 ........A New Life in the Sun 17:45 .....A Place in the Sun 18:50 ............ Great Canal Journeys 19:55....... Grand Designs 21:00 .......Selling Houses with Amanda Lamb 22:00 ...........The Hoarder Next Door 23:05... Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 00:05.... More Sex Please, We’re British 01:10........Selling Houses with Amanda Lamb

16:30..................... Futurama

18:00............... Futurama 18:30........ The Simpsons 20:00................The Flash 21:00............ Ross Kemp’s Britain 22:00.... Childhood’s End

22:00........Most Shocking TV Moments

23:45..NCIS: Los Angeles

00:55..........Super Casino

01:45 ........ Hawaii Five-0

00:45......... Hawaii Five-0

07:20 ..........................Top Gear

15:00 .............Sin City Motors 16:00........... Storage Hunters 17:00.......................... Top Gear 18:00.....American Pickers 19:00.....American Pickers 20:00............................... QI 20:40............................... QI 22:00................. Room 101 22:40................. Room 101 23:20.. Would I Lie to You? 00:00............................... QI 00:40........ Mock the Week 01:20.. Would I Lie to You?

The A Word BBC1, 21.00

Alison is faced with a blast from her past when Maggie, a speech and language therapist, arrives to assess Joe. Her visit brings Paul, Alison, Eddie, Nicola, Maurice and Rebecca together, but exposes some uncomfortable truths, as Maggie highlights the family’s inability to communicate.

For the first time, they’re made to realise how hard it must be for Joe. Confident that she’s found a miracle -worker in Maggie, Alison goes all-out to secure her help, leaving Rebecca feeling ignored. As Rebecca turns to boyfriend Luke for attention, Maurice finds himself succumbing to Louise’s request for physical contact... but can he deliver the goods? Meanwhile, Eddie is determined to put his own stamp on the brewery and prove to Maurice he’s much more than failed businessman and celebrity cuckold.

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TV Guide

The Supervet Channel 4, 20:00

Hetty the Labrador is unique. She is believed to be the first dog to have been trained both as a guide for the blind and a seizure alert dog. Not only does she help Toni, a mother-of-two who is blind, to live an active life, but she also warns Toni if she is about to have an epileptic fit. However, Hetty has become lame on both her front legs, and has been referred to Professor Noel Fitzpatrick. Invasive surgery could mean Toni being without her lifeline. Also, Ella and Rob bring their Rhodesian Ridgeback to Noel to see if surgery can save his leg from a cancerous tumour. And Fitzpatrick Referrals receptionist Natalie finds herself on the other side of the counter when her Tibetan terrier becomes unwell.

1st April - 7th April 2016

Wed 6th April 06:00 ...................... Breakfast 09:15 ................. Fake Britain 10:00....... Homes Under the Hammer 11:00 ......... Call the Council 11:45 .................. Caught Red Handed 12:15 .............. Bargain Hunt 13:00 .....................BBC News 13:30 ...........Regional News 13:45 .........................Doctors 14:15 ................... Think Tank 15:00 ...............Escape to the Country 15:45..................... My Life on a Plate 16:30 ...........................Flog It! 17:15 .......................Pointless 18:00 .............. BBC News 18:30 ......Regional News 19:00 .......The One Show 20:00 ........... MasterChef 21:00 ........Secret Britain 22:00 .............. BBC News 22:30 ......Regional News 22:40 .................Weather 22:45 .........A Question of Sport

Grantchester ITV1, 21.00

23:15................ Boomers 23:45..................... Live at the Apollo

06:00 ...........................Flog It! 06:30 ......... Call the Council 07:15................... Think Tank 08:00 .......................See Hear 08:30 ... Great British Menu 09:00 ....Victoria Derbyshire 11:00 ...........BBC Newsroom Live 12:00 ... The Chef’s Protege 12:30............ James Martin’s Food Map of Britain 13:00.......................... A to z of TV Cooking 13:05............... Pressure Pad 13:50 ......The Charge of the Light Brigade 15:40 .... The Indian Doctor 16:25 ...........Coast Australia 17:15 .............. Bargain Hunt 18:00.............. Eggheads 18:30........... Great British Railway Journeys 19:00.... The Hairy Bikers’ Northern Exposure 20:00.................. Horizon W 21:00...Employable Me Coice ch 22:00...... Mock the Week 22:30..............Newsnight 23:10..................Weather 23:15.........................Golf 23:45....... Inside Obama’s White House 00:45.................See Hear 01:15............ MasterChef 01:45............... The Secret History of My Family

06:00 ............ Good Morning Britain 08:30........................ Lorraine 09:25 ......... The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30 .............. This Morning 12:30 .........Gok’s Lunchbox 13:30 .............ITV Lunchtime News 14:00 .............. Judge Rinder 15:00................... Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:00 ..............Tipping Point 17:00 ....................The Chase 18:00....... Regional News and Weather 18:25 ........ Party Election Broadcast by the Liberal Democrats 18:30............ ITV Evening News 19:00 ........... Emmerdale 19:30 .............Coronation Street 20:00 ................ Big Star’s Little Star 21:00.......Grantchester

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22:00 ..... ITV News at Ten and Weather

22:45........................UEFA Champions League Highlights

00:30...... Weather for the 23:45............. Bear Grylls: Sidney Chambers has given up. Following the difficult events of the Week Ahead Mission Survive past few weeks, he is drinking like never before, and even worse, seems 00:35............... BBC News 00:40............ Jackpot247 to have entirely stopped caring about his responsibilities as a clergyman.

With Mrs Maguire and Leonard both deeply worried about him, it is left to them to try and find a way to help their friend before it is too late. But with Geordie and Amanda seemingly unwilling to help, and with an attempt to remove Sidney from the vicarage seemingly gathering strength, things are not looking good.

However, when old friend Reverend Sam Milburn returns to the parish, Sidney is thrown into even greater emotional turmoil. Claiming to be seeking forgiveness for his crimes, Sam’s return leaves Sidney torn. Is Sam really here to seek forgiveness? And is it even within Sidney’s gift to forgive him for crimes committed against others?

Matters are complicated further when Harding and Agatha discover that Sam has returned to the village. With Harding making threats against his life, Sam flees. But when evidence of a struggle is later found, Sidney fears the worst may have happened – could Harding have murdered Sam? Meanwhile, as Leonard continues to wrestle with his feelings for Daniel, he also struggles to make sense of a life-changing proposal from the Archdeacon. And a visit from Mrs Maguire leads to Amanda having a heart to heart with Guy. With Sam missing, Sidney and Geordie are forced, once again, to investigate a crime together. However, when they uncover a dark secret about Sam, Sidney’s fragile emotional state is pushed even further, putting even greater strain on the investigation. With tensions between the two of them at an all-time high, will they be able to put their differences to one side for long enough to stop a murder being committed?

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

1st April - 7th April 2016

W C c h oice

06:00 .................Countdown

06:00 ............. The Wotwots!

06:45.................................. The Goldbergs

06:10 .............Chloe’s Closet

07:10................................... The Goldbergs

06:20 ...........Lily’s Driftwood Bay 06:30 .............. Fireman Sam

07:35 .................................. The Goldbergs

06:40 .........................Wissper

08:00.........Everybody Loves Raymond

06:55...................... Pip Ahoy!

08:30.........Everybody Loves Raymond 09:00 ........................... Frasier 09:30 ........................... Frasier 10:00 ...........................The Big Bang Theory 10:30............................The Big Bang Theory 11:00............ Shipping Wars 11:30 ............Shipping Wars 12:00.......... Channel 4 News Summary 12:05 .....A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 13:10..... A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 14:10 ......... Deal or No Deal 15:10 .................Countdown 16:00 .............Couples Come Dine with Me 17:00 ...............Four in a Bed 17:30........ Too Many Cooks 18:00........ The Simpsons

06:50..................... Peppa Pig 07:10............. Little Princess 07:20 ..........Bob the Builder 07:35 .................Thomas and Friends 07:50 ......Noddy in Toyland 08:00 ........... Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 08:15 .....................Peppa Pig 08:25 .....................Peppa Pig 08:35 ....................Paw Patrol 08:50 ....................Bananas in Pajama 09:00................ Toot the Tiny Tugboat 09:15 ........ The Wright Stuff

12:15..... The Gadget Show 13:15........ Home and Away 13:45 .................Neighbours 14:15 ..... NCIS: Los Angeles 15:10 ...............Out of Reach

19:00.................. Channel 4 News

17:30 .................Neighbours 18:00 ... Home and Away

20:00......The Supervet

18:30 ..... 5 News Tonight

22:00................ Raised by Wolves 22:30 ............ Gogglebox 23:35 ......The Island with Bear Grylls 00:35................ Live From Abbey Road Classics 01:05... Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 01:55...............The River’s Edge

06:00......... Betty White’s Off Their Rockers 06:25 ..... Who Do You Think You Are? USA 07:20.....................EastEnders 08:00 ...................MasterChef Australia 09:00.................. Battlechefs 10:00.......................... The Bill 11:00.............. Tipping Point 12:00 .............Wanted Down Under 13:00........My Dream Home 14:00 .................. Battlechefs 15:00 ..... Who Do You Think You Are? USA 16:00 .............Wanted Down Under 17:00....... My Dream Home 18:00 ........ Tipping Point 19:00 ............Battlechefs 20:00 ..... One Born: What Happened Next?

21:00..... Jonathan Creek 23:00..... The Honourable Woman 00:10......... The Catherine Tate Show

19:00...................The Dog Rescuers with Alan Davies

06:00.. The Dog Whisperer

07:00........ Storage Hunters

06:30.. The Dog Whisperer

07:20....................... Top Gear

07:00 ................................Glee

09:00 ......................... Red Bull Soapbox Race

08:00 ................................Glee 09:00 ...........Modern Family 09:30 ...........Modern Family 10:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0 12:00..... NCIS: Los Angeles 13:00.............. Hawaii Five-0 15:00........... Modern Family 16:00..................... Futurama

20:00............ GPs: Behind Closed Doors

17:00............. The Simpsons

21:00.............. Nightmare Tenants, Slum Landlords

18:00............... Futurama

22:00.......Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away!

19:00 ....... The Simpsons

17:30..................... Futurama 18:30 ....... The Simpsons 20:00 .....................Arrow

10:00...... American Pickers 11:00........ Storage Hunters 12:00....................... Top Gear 14:00 ...... American Pickers 15:00 .......... Sin City Motors 16:00 ........ Storage Hunters 17:00........................Top Gear 18:00...American Pickers 20:00................ Top Gear 21:00.......Have I Got a Bit More News for You 22:00............................ QI 22:40...... Mock the Week

21:00 ................Limitless

23:20....................Would I Lie to You?

00:00 ......................Police Interceptors

22:00.............. Ascension

00:00........................qI XL

00:00..NCIS: Los Angeles

01:00...... Mock the Week

00:55..........Super Casino

01:00........ Hawaii Five-0

01:40...... Mock the Week

23:00...My Million Pound Council House

08:55............. Jamie’s Money Saving Meals 09:35.......Food Unwrapped 10:05................Four in a Bed 11:10................Four in a Bed 12:15................Four in a Bed 12:50....Come Dine with Me 15:00....Come Dine with Me 15:35........ A New Life in the Sun 16:40 .....A Place in the Sun 17:45. A Place in the Sun 18:50............ Great Canal Journeys 19:55....... Grand Designs 21:00................. Location, Location, Location 22:00...... 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown 23:05............. 24 Hours in A and E 01:20................. Location, Location, Location

12:10........................... 5 News Lunchtime

18:30.............. Hollyoaks

21:00............. The People Next Door

06:00.............. The Hot Desk 06:10........ Planet’s Funniest Animals 06:30 ................ Dinner Date 07:20 ....................... The Ellen DeGeneres Show 08:00.................. Emmerdale 08:30 ......................The Cube 09:35............... Catchphrase 10:15 ................ Dinner Date 11:15 .................. Royal Pains 12:10 ..................Emmerdale 12:45...................... The Cube 13:45 ....................... The Ellen DeGeneres Show 14:35 ...................The Jeremy Kyle Show 17:50 ................Take Me Out 19:00 ........... You’ve Been Framed!

20:00............... Two and a Half Men 21:00..............The Almost Impossible Gameshow 22:00.......................Plebs 23:00............. Family Guy 00:00.......American Dad!

11:15....... Cowboy Builders

17:00 ..................5 News at 5

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33 CW

06:00 .......... Premier League 100 Club 07:00....... WWE Experience 08:00......... Fantasy Football Club Highlights 08:30 .......... Premier League Legends 09:00 .........Barclays Premier League Review 10:00.................. The Premier League Years 12:00... La Liga World 2015 12:30......... Fantasy Football Club Highlights 13:00 ........Soccer A.M. - The Best Bits 14:00......... Barclays Premier League Review 15:00... La Liga World 2015 15:30 .......... Premier League Legends 16:00.......... SPFL Round Up 16:30 .........Fantasy Football Club Highlights 17:00 ........Soccer A.M. - The Best Bits 18:00 ................... Boxing 19:00 ....... Masters - Par 3 Live 22:30 ................... Boxing

Employable Me BBC2, 21.00

There are radical, emerging ideas in science which suggest that neurological conditions shouldn’t always be viewed in negative terms. This series follows Britain’s most extraordinary job-seekers as they seek to prove that having a condition such as Tourette’s or autism shouldn’t make them unemployable.

By working with experts, the job seekers are shown how the strengths and unique skillsets that accompany neuro - develop mental conditions can be harnessed in order to help land them their dream job.

Twenty three year-old Ellie led a perfectly normal life until two years ago when, out of the blue, she started yelling ‘marshmallow’ in a supermarket. At 21, Ellie developed full-blown Tourette’s and was forced to leave her job as a youth worker because she can’t control the (often highly offensive) words that come out of her mouth.

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TV Guide

W C c h oice

How To Stay Young BBC1, 21.00

Angela Rippon and Dr Chris van Tulleken are on a remarkable journey into our bodies and our minds.

In How To Stay Young, a two-part series for BBC One, they travel the world investigating the latest experiments and new research that could help put the brakes on the ageing process.

In the first episode, The Body, Angela and Chris discover that scientists now know how much of the way we age is down to genetics - and how much of it is down to the way we live our lives. They look at the latest science that reveals the best lifestyle choices we can make to combat the effects of ageing.

Angela travels to Germany where she follows a study comparing the benefits of dancing with conventional gym exercises and reveals which activity best keeps us fit and strong into old age. Chris visits a community outside Los Angeles that has one of the lowest levels of heart disease in America and high life expectancy, and looks at how their good health could be down to diet.

With studies showing that positive attitude towards ageing can add years to our lives, Chris turns 80 years old for a day thanks to Hollywood-style prosthetics. Since how we feel about old age is hugely influenced by society’s treatment of the older generation, Chris decides to experience the public’s reaction to the elderly first-hand.

Along the way, Chris and Angela have their own wake up calls about how well they are ageing. Chris takes a newly pioneered test that reveals on a molecular level how quickly his body is getting old, by comparing his biological age with his actual age. Will his body be as young as he feels, or older than it should be? Meanwhile, Angela has a startling wake-up call when she learns that despite her active, healthy lifestyle a body scan reveals she is carrying seven kilos of excess internal fat that has the potential to be dangerous.

The programme goes on to look at what is happening at the frontiers of science to tackle ageing. In Ecuador Chris meets Yannick Castilo, who looks like a young child but is actually 17 years old. He has Laron syndrome and could hold the key to curing ageing, as the syndrome means he is virtually immune from cancer and diabetes and he will never grow old like the rest of us.

How To Stay Young is a fascinating, eye-opening guide to how science is enabling all of us to overcome the obstacles of getting old - and reveals the secrets of how we can stay young and healthy for longer.

1st April - 7th April 2016

T hur s day 06:00...................... Breakfast

06:00 ...........................Flog It!

09:15 ................. Fake Britain

06:30......... Call the Council

06:00............ Good Morning Britain

10:00 ...... Homes Under the Hammer

07:15 ................... Think Tank

08:30........................ Lorraine

11:00 ......... Call the Council

08:00............... Great Interior Design Challenge

09:25.......... The Jeremy Kyle Show

11:45 .................. Caught Red Handed

09:00........................... Victoria Derbyshire

10:30 .............. This Morning

12:15............... Bargain Hunt

11:00..BBC Newsroom Live

13:00 .....................BBC News

12:00.... The Chef’s Protege

13:30 .............ITV Lunchtime News

13:30 ...........Regional News 13:45 .........................Doctors

12:30............. James Martin’s Food Map of Britain

14:15 ................... Think Tank

13:00 ............... Pressure Pad

15:00 ................... Dickinson’s Real Deal

15:00............... Escape to the Country

13:45 ..............Little Women

16:00 ..............Tipping Point

15:40..... The Indian Doctor

17:00 ....................The Chase

15:45 ......My Life on a Plate

16:25........... Coast Australia

18:00....... Regional News and Weather

16:30 ...........................Flog It!

17:15 .............. Bargain Hunt

17:15....................... Pointless

18:00.............. Eggheads

18:00............... BBC News

18:30 .......... Great British Railway Journeys

18:30...... Regional News 19:00 .......The One Show

19:00.... The Hairy Bikers’ Northern Exposure

19:30 ............ EastEnders

12:30 .........Gok’s Lunchbox

14:00 .............. Judge Rinder

18:25......... Party Election Broadcast by the UK Independence Party 18:30. ITV Evening News 19:00............ Emmerdale 19:30.................. Tonight

21:00..................How to CW Stay Young choice

20:00...........Workers or CW Shirkers? Ian Hislop’s choice Victorian Benefits

20:00............ Emmerdale

22:00 .............. BBC News

21:00........... Line of Duty

21:00...Mission Survive

22:30 ......Regional News

22:00...........Stewart Lee’s Comedy Vehicle

22:00...... ITV News at Ten and Weather

22:45 ...... Question Time

22:30..............Newsnight

23:45 ............ The Vikings Uncovered

23:10..................Weather

22:40...........UEFA Europa League Highlights

23:15......Employable Me

23:40...Murder, She Wrote

20:00 ........... MasterChef

22:40 .................Weather

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20:30 ............. The Cruise

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Workers Or Shirkers? Ian Hi Victorian Benefits BBC2, 20.00

Ian Hislop’s entertaining and provocative look at Victorian attit light on today: controversial benefits cuts, anxieties about scro reports, arguments about who does and doesn’t deserve welfare - it’s all there!

Ian explores the views of five colourful individuals whose Victorian attitudes remain the workhouse Edwin Chadwick feared that hand-outs would lead to scrounging and ers were always better-off than the unemployed. That sounds fair - but was his soluti James Greenwood, Britain’s first undercover reporter, made poverty a cause célèbre voyeuristic?

Helen Bosanquet, an early social worker, believed that poverty was caused by ‘bad simply more deserving than others. Bosanquet came to blows with Beatrice Webb, w of the causes of poverty, leading her to argue for the first foundations of the welfare s Finally, even if we want to be generous, are there limits on how much we can afford to h garet Bondfield, Britain’s first female cabinet minister who, despite her impeccable controversial welfare cuts in the 1930s, a time of national austerity.

www.canarianweekly.com

TV Guide

1st April - 7th April 2016

day

7 th

06:00 .................Countdown 06:45........... The Goldbergs 07:10........... The Goldbergs 07:35 ........... The Goldbergs 08:00 ..... The Morning Line 09:00 ........................... Frasier 09:30........................... Frasier 10:00 ...........................The Big Bang Theory 10:30 ...........................The Big Bang Theory 11:00............ Shipping Wars 11:30 ............Shipping Wars 12:00 ......... Channel 4 News Summary 12:05................A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun 13:10.......Food Unwrapped 13:45............ Grand National Festival 17:00................Four in a Bed 17:30.........Too Many Cooks 18:00........ The Simpsons 18:30............... Hollyoaks 19:00..... Channel 4 News 20:00............ Millionaires’ Mansions 21:00.............. Army Girls 22:00................ Alan Carr: Chatty Man 23:05.......... Tattoo Fixers

islop’s

tudes to the poor sheds a sharp oungers, sensational newspaper

incredibly resonant. Pioneer of sought to make sure that workion simply too unkind?

- but is that kind of journalism

d character’ - that some people who took a more economic view state. help? That dilemma faced MarLabour credentials, advocated

A pril

06:00 ..............The Hot Desk 06:10 ........Planet’s Funniest Animals 06:30 ................ Dinner Date 07:20 ....................... The Ellen DeGeneres Show 08:00.................. Emmerdale 08:30 .....Coronation Street 09:00 ........... Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 09:35 ............... Catchphrase 10:15 ................ Dinner Date 11:15.................. Royal Pains 12:10.................. Emmerdale 12:45..... Coronation Street 13:15.................. You’ve Been Framed!

13:45 ....................... The Ellen DeGeneres Show 14:35.......... The Jeremy Kyle Show 17:50 ................Take Me Out 18:50 ........ The Hot Desk 19:00 ........... You’ve Been Framed!

20:00................Two and a Half Men 21:00.................Scorpion W 22:00....... Celebrity JuiceCoice

06:15 ..... Who Do You Think You Are? USA 07:00 .....Emergency Bikers 08:00 ...................MasterChef Australia 09:00 .................. Battlechefs 10:00 .......................... The Bill 11:00...............Tipping Point 12:00 .............Wanted Down Under 13:00.........My Dream Home 14:00................... Battlechefs 15:00..... Who Do You Think You Are? USA 16:00............. Wanted Down Under 17:00 .......My Dream Home 18:00 ........ Tipping Point 19:00............ Battlechefs 20:00 ..... One Born: What Happened Next?

22:00............. EastEnders 22:40............... Life is Toff 23:20..... Motorway Cops

08:55 .............Jamie’s Money Saving Meals

13:15........ Home and Away

06:00......................... The Dog Whisperer

07:00........... torage Hunters

06:00.............. Football Gold

13:45................. Neighbours

07:00 ................................Glee

07:20........................Top Gear

14:15 ............................... NCIS

08:00 ................ Monkey Life

08:10........................Top Gear

07:00............................... WWE SmackDown!

15:15 ........................... Access

09:00........... Modern Family

15:25 ......... Deadly Daycare

10:00.............. Hawaii Five-0

17:00 ..................5 News at 5

12:00.................. Kingdom of Plants 2D

06:00 ............. The Wotwots!

06:10 .............Chloe’s Closet 06:20 ...........Lily’s Driftwood Bay 06:30.............. Fireman Sam 06:40 .........................Wissper 06:50 .....................Peppa Pig 06:55 ......................Pip Ahoy!

07:10............. Little Princess 07:20.......... Bob the Builder 07:35 .................Thomas and Friends 07:50 ......Noddy in Toyland 08:00 ........... Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 08:15 .....................Peppa Pig 08:25 .....................Peppa Pig 08:35 ....................Paw Patrol 08:50 ....................Bananas in Pajamas 09:00 ................Toot the Tiny Tugboat 09:15 ........ The Wright Stuff

ch

09:35 ......Food Unwrapped 10:05............... Four in a Bed 11:10 ...............Four in a Bed 12:15 ...............Four in a Bed 12:50....Come Dine with Me 13:55....Come Dine with Me 15:00....Come Dine with Me 15:35.................... A New Life in the Sun 16:40....................... A Place in the Sun 17:45....................... A Place in the Sun 18:50............. Great Canal Journeys 19:55....... Grand Designs 21:00....... The Good Wife 22:00........... Thicker Than Water 23:20............. 24 Hours in A and E

11:15 .......Cowboy Builders 12:10... 5 News Lunchtime 12:15 ............Britain’s Horror Homes

17:30 .................Neighbours 18:00.... Home and Away

13:00 ..............Hawaii Five-0

18:30 ..... 5 News Tonight

15:00 ...........Modern Family

19:00 ......Ben Fogle: New Lives in the Wild UK

15:30 ...........Modern Family 16:00 ..................... Futurama

20:00.........My Face Won’t Stop Growing...

And Other Medical Mysteries

17:00 .............The Simpsons

21:00.....Trauma Doctors: Every Second Counts 22:00................Big Boobs Gone Bad: A Botched Up Bodies Special 23:00..............Baby Faced Binge Eaters

09:00....... American Pickers 10:00....... American Pickers 11:00......... Storage Hunters 11:30......... Storage Hunters 12:00........................Top Gear 13:00 .......................Top Gear 14:00....... American Pickers 15:00........... Sin City Motors 16:00......... Storage Hunters

08:00.......... Premier League Legends 09:00........... Premier League 100 Club 10:00..........Barclays Premier League Review 11:00...................The Premier League Years 13:00.......................... Football League Goals

16:30......... Storage Hunters

14:00..........Barclays Premier League Review

18:30........ The Simpsons

17:00........................Top Gear

15:00............................Boxing

19:00........ The Simpsons

18:00...American Pickers

15:30.................Boxing Gold

20:00.......... DC’s Legends of Tomorrow

20:00...American Pickers

17:00............................Boxing

21:00.......Have I Got a Bit More News for You

17:30............................Boxing

22:00...........Duck Quacks Don’t Echo

22:00....................... QI XL

18:30.. Sporting Triumphs

23:00....NCIS: Los Angeles

23:40...... Mock the Week

17:30 ..................... Futurama

21:00.................... Colony

23:00...... Mock the Week

18:00.................... Boxing 18:45.. Sporting Triumphs 19:00.........Masters - Live

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W C c h oice

Bear Grylls: Mission Survive ITV1, 21.00

It’s Day 11 and three celebrities are on the final leg of the journey. So far, they have endured and overcome everything that Bear has thrown at them, but who will prove themselves to be his ultimate Mission Survivor?

The day begins with Meg and Scott stripping back the celebrities’ kit– including rations. Just getting to their first mission is a test of nerve - the celebrities face a traverse around the rocky coastline. Attached to a rope they must navigate the edge of cliff faces. When they eventually reach Bear, they must get across a military Commando Crawl.

Suspended 80ft above the crashing waves, and at 131ft long – this will push them to their physical limits.

For their next challenge the tide is rushing in fast and the group have 20 minutes to forage in the shallows and remaining rock pools for as much seafood as they can find.

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What’s On

1st April - 7th April 2016

Naturajazz Festival 2016 Enjoy the best Jazz, learn about science and revel in the beauty of nature all at once! This is the third annual edition of Naturajazz, the Jazz and nature photography festival.

It is focused on the dissemination of the natural wealth of the Canary Islands and the Macaronesia. Something different for open minds!

When: from April 7 to May 26 Where: Museo de la Naturaleza y el Hombre in Santa Cruz More Info: www.museosdetenerife.org/

Elvis is back!

One of the world´s finest Elvis impersonators Greg Miller returns to Tenerife for a one off show. Last year he brought the house down with his tribute the King of rock and roll.

When: April 17th

Photography exhibition of Chema Madoz With the elegance which characterises him, always in black and white and with a very personal style, Chema Madoz gives new meanings to objects that he takes pictures of, mixing the real and the everyday with the unreal and imagined. Be surprised and listen to what the objects have to day in ‘Chema Madoz XXI’.

Tegueste Tour Enjoy the scenery and explore the history of the town of Tegueste via over 30 thematic routes that take place throughout the year.

Specialised guides will show you the most beautiful scenery of the town, its historical, artistic and archaeological heritage and, of course, vineyards and everything related to its great wine tradition.

There are hiking trails, dramatised routes that will transport you to the past or night routes for a unique experience under the moon.

When: Every Day More Info www.tegueste.org

Where: Los Cristianos auditorium When: Until May 28th

More details: 922 724 343 or 608 284 663

Where: Espacio Cultural CajaCanarias, Santa Cruz More details: www.cajacanarias.com/microsites/chema_ madoz

Tenerife Walking Festival If you like hiking, Tenerife Walking Festival is for you! This unique event with hikers from all over Europe offers trips around the islands and complementary activities.

When: From March 29 to April 2nd More info: tenerifewalkingfestival.com

www.canarianweekly.com

Entertainment

1st April - 7th April 2016

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Tenerife Loves Karaoke

It’s double the excitement T E N E R I F E Loves Karaoke returned with a bang after a short break, with two heats in a week. And there was hardly a seat left by the end of the night when Palms Sport Bar, in San Eugenio Alto, hosted a rare Saturday night contest.

Support for competitors in the seventh heat - the first time we have had an early start - was just as vibrant as in all the previous rounds.

And again, the scoring was so close that the judges took ages to select their sing-off finalists, all females.

And from the trio, Viktorai Marr emerged triumphant with her version of the opera clasic Nessun Dorma to win a Final place.

The seventh heat,

staged four days later at Crystals Palace on The Patch in Las Americas, took us to nearly half way in this year’s contest.

Like all other heats it was a fun night with great support for the entrants, creating a fantastic atmosphere for them in which to perform.

Congratulations to Alfie Havenhand-Bai-

ley whose New Shoes,

by Paolo Nutini, transported him through as only the third male to reach the 2016 Final.

As always, huge congratulations go to all the performers, and those who came along to contribute to these excellent entertainment nights.

The competition this year is proudly sponsored by Bombay

Babu Authentic Indian Tandoori Restaurants, giving you three perfect places to enjoy the finest Indian food in Tenerife: Torviscas Playa, Callao Salvaje and their newest restaurant in the La Tatejita commercial centre, between Los Abrigos and El Medano.

Bombay Babu also offer a full take-away and free delivery ser-

vice, either by calling 922 705 092 or on-line at bombay-babu.com The Grand Final takes place on 4th June at Showtime Las Americas, where all 12 heat-winners will compete for the 1,000-euro cash prize and the title of Tenerife Loves Karaoke 2016.

If you would like to compete for this fabulous prize, please hurry because venues and

chances are running out because places are being filled quickly.

So if you are interested in competing at any or all of the remaining heats, open to everyone over the age of 13, every nationally and to anyone who has entered before, call Oasis Fm on 902 232 102, register at the relevant venues or at facebook oasisfm Tenerife.

Otherwise, if you just want to enjoy one of the best nights out, come along and see what all the talk is about.

REMAINING VENUES April: 8th - Springers, El Mirador; 13th Skybar, Puerto Colon; 22nd - Churchills, Los Cristianos; 27th - The Pub, Torviscas May: 2nd - Palms Bar, Golf del Sur; 11th - Dylans Bar, El Mirador; 22nd - Albatross Bar, Silencio; 27th - Leonardos, Las Americas

And it’s goodnight from him…

RONNIE Corbett, one of Britain’s finest funny-men and renowned for his BBC comedy sketch show The Two Ronnies, with Ronnie Barker, has died at the age of 85.

His double act with Barker, always a TV highlight and jampacked with quality gags and sketches, was prominent on the small screen throughout the Seventies and Eighties.

Corbett had been suffering ill-health for some time, after spending time in hospital in 2014 with gall bladder problems.

His publicist said: “Ronnie Corbett CBE, one of the nation’s best-loved entertainers, passed away this morning, surrounded by his loving family.

They have asked that their privacy is respected at this very sad

time.”

Following Barker’s death in 2005, the diminutive Corbett continued to be a regular fixture on UK TV, especially with his “shaggy dog” sketches, delivered from an armchair.

His most memorable solo projects include the sitcom Sorry! and the Small Talk game show. He starred most recently in the BBC Radio 4 sitcom When the Dog Dies.

Corbett is survived by his wife, Anne Hart, with whom he celebrated his golden wedding anniversary last year, and the couple’s two daughters, actresses Emma and Sophie Corbett.

Scottish-born Corbett began his career on David Frost’s satirical comedy, The Frost Report, in 1960.

It was here that he first met Barker and, subsequently, formed the duo whose TV sketch show became a British TV classic, cited regularly by the

public as one of their endearing, and enduring, favourites - and by other comics as a big influence on their careers.

The Two Ronnies ran from 1971 to 1987, featuring the comedians taking part in musical performances and sketches.

In 2013, in an inter-

view with the Daily Telegraph about their partnership and how well they got on, Corbett said of Barker: “We were a real couple, with matching tastes and styles.

“Of course, we were quite different, but somehow we fitted so well together. I think it’s a more pleasant

and palatable thing to see people being funny together because you’re touching areas of truth. Dinner parties or falling out with people - it’s the naturalness of it.”

Sir Bruce Forsyth spoke emotionally about his friend, colleague and fellow golf enthusiast, saying: “One of the saddest days of my life. Ronnie was someone I admired so much. It’s a very, very sad day. I’m going to miss him like crazy, I really will.

“He was very adaptable. He could work with anybody, even me. We always say a one-off, but he certainly was a one-off-and-a-half. He really was.”

Brucie said the “four candles” sketch, with Ronnie Barker, was “one of the all-time greats”, describing Corbett as “such a genius”.

Monty Python’s Michael Palin said: “His sense of comedy timing was absolutely perfect.

Ronnie had a great sense of silliness, which I responded to.

“He could also do the serious stuff, but there was a lovely sort of mischief. His eyes twinkled … and he was absolutely delightful to play with and against.

And he was also a good friend.”

Former BBC chairman Michael Grade spoke of his sadness at the loss of a “huge talent”. He said Corbett was “one of the all-time greats of British comedy, no question”.

He added: “I’m so sad for Anne and the family - and the nation, really. We’ve lost a great friend and entertainer.

“He learned his craft the hard way. He was a master of comedy of all kinds - TV, cabaret, variety.”

And Miranda Hart tweeted: Having a little weep at the death of one of my heroes, Ronnie Corbett. As he would say, “Miranda you can’t look up to me”. Goodbye from me.

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Travel

By Vanessa Vee ALWAYS on the search for exciting direct destinations, this week we take a sneaky peek at the beautiful city of Rome.

I have visited Rome on quite a few occasions and always love a chance to explore this magical city, though, unfortunately, I tend only to get day-trips there from cruise ships visiting the nearby port of Citiviettchia.

Though the primary aim of the trips has been for sight-seeing, I have discovered that there is a lot more to Rome than meets the eye.

Undoubtedly, its majestic ruins form a large basis for the appeal.

Wandering among them, it is incredible to consider that this city was once at the centre of a vast, highly-sophisticated empire, with public and private buildings easily comparable with the most lavish of today’s palaces.

The so-called “Eternal

1st April - 7th April 2016

The most magical of cities

City” today is, as it has always been, the sort of place where there is a surprise around every corner - and where one is continually aware of its long and vibrant history. It is something for which neither written descriptions nor photographs can prepare you.

Often glimpsed unexpectedly at the end of long, narrow backstreets is Rome’s most famous monument, the Colosseum, the sheer scale of which will take your breath away. And a guided tour around the Colosseum is an absolute must!

The guides will have you believing you really are transported back in time as you actually begin to relive the life they must have led in ancient times.

Sharing Rome’s surprises with family and friends for the first time is a joy in itself and, undoubtedly, the most satisfying is introducing someone to the Trevi Fountain for the first time.

The fountain has been seen so often in films that you would expect this to lessen its impact.

But this is actually impossible.

The sudden appearance of this romantic landmark, after a short

stroll through a series of narrow Roman streets, evokes such surprise and delight in firsttime visitors and Rome veterans alike that it’s easy to see why it is so famous.

The roaring waters of the fountain, supplied by an ancient Roman aqueduct from a source

20km away, combine with its breathtaking scale to overwhelm the small piazza in which it is situated.

No visit to Rome is complete without the obligatory ritual of tossing a coin over one’s shoulder into the waters of the Trevi, said to ensure good luck and

your return to Rome.

A visit to the Vatican City is also an absolute must because, you never know, you may get to glimpse the Pope.

I haven’t yet, unfortunately, but all my other co-cruisers have at some stage.

This independent city within a city has its own railway station, stamps and post office, national anthem, flag, own security service and a real police force. A minimum of one full day is really because of the enormous tourist numbers,

you may spend time in line for the Basilica, Sistine Chapel and the Vatican Museum.

I have touched on just a few of the well-known sights, but Italy is a country that oozes history and romance. We only live once, and this city should be on your bucket list, believe me.

I’m always happy when I’m in Rome: I love the climate; the food and wine; the cool, crystal-clear drinking water which flows from the innumerable fountains that always seem to crop up when most needed, plus the hustle and bustle of city life.

And I love checking out the amazing shops.

A day-trip is certainly not long enough, because this is one city that needs to be given the time to be discovered in depth.

Visit Rome direct from Tenerife this November from only 459 euros per person (based on two sharing). Price includes return flights, resort transfers and 7 nights in a central 4* hotel on a bed-and-breakfast basis.

Contact the Tenerife Sunshine Travel Team for further information on 922 751 867 ext 1, or email travel@tenerifesunshine.com

Routine police checks

By Emma at Motorworld

SPANISH police, like all global security services as part of their dayto-day duties, stop drivers at various places or checkpoints.

These checks, albeit rarely, can be conducted because of increased security threats, of which they are aware.

We often feel daunted and frightened, although we have nothing to fear - as long as everything is in order.

Yes, it is natural that an element of fear will be present, but you must remember, firstly,

that these checks are primarily for your benefit and safety.

And such road-checks do, sometimes, catch criminals. For instance, those drivers risking their own safety or that of others. But generally, most people are permitted to go on their way without any fuss.

You should remain calm and respond to any instructions given to you. If they are given

in Spanish and you do not understand, calmly state that you do not speak Spanish and you will usually find that most officers speak some English. Handsignals often come in handy at this time, but keep them clean!

You may be asked to leave your vehicle at a designated point because they may wish to check the contents of your car, including doc-

umentation for both car and driver.

It is easier and simpler to let the officers get on with their job, and they will normally allow you to continue your journey as quickly as possible.

While we all like to warn other people of impending check-points, it is not advisable to post such items on Facebook or Twitter.

That’s because you may, possibly, be alerting criminals or those who have a need to dodge a police check, enabling them to take an alternative route.

It is also illegal to warn other drivers of a police spot-check location.

Do not be alarmed if you notice more police presence on the roads and streets. This is not necessarily an indication of an increased threat level; nor indeed

any specific information held by the police.

The Spanish Interior Ministry publish details of the current threat level of the country on their website www.interior.gob.es And if you visit this site, you will find a green box on the right-hand side marked NAA, or Nivel de Alerta Antiterrorista (levels of terrorist threats).

If you then click on this, you will see the level shown. It has been at Stage 4 high since June 2015, and all this information is listed on the page for your information and peace of mind.

And though the information is in Spanish, you can always use Google to translate if you wish to read it in full.

You should always stay calm, act politely, follow the instructions and re-

member that, provided you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear.

If you do receive a fine (multa) for an offence committed or missing paperwork, etc, make sure you pay up quickly because there is often a reduction in the sums payable within a certain time-limit. But these sums cannot be altered if there are points involved.

So, drive safely, within speed limits, adhere to road-markings, traffic lights and the rules of the highway code, etc.

And always ensure you have the correct paperwork with you for the car and for yourself at all times. Residents and non-residents fall into different categories for personal paperwork, as do hire-cars and personal or professional vehicles.

www.canarianweekly.com 1st April - 7th April 2016

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Wine and Dine

1st April - 7th April 2016

Adeje Chicken in Buzanada Bryan is back but now he is the owner with his mum in the kitchen for the famous home-made food & all her excuisite & authentic recipes of mojo & Ali-oli.

Still serving their chicken dishes including grilled chicken breast, spicy chicken & honey chicken garlic chicken, with a pint of beer for only 1 euro!! Open for breakfast & sandwiches all day until 10pm. A new addition to the menu, which starts at 12noon until 4pm, includes 2 courses & a drink for only 6.80 euros & will change daily (not only chicken dishes).

Buzanada Roundabout, Buzanada.

Open: Tues-Sun, 8am-10pm. Closed Mondays

Call: 922 728 290 / 629 331 124

Lupita Parque de la Reina has a secret - Lupita restaurant is fast becoming the place to eat, and it has a well-deserved reputation.

All the usual Mexican specialities are on offer, but from midday until 4pm, check out its 3.95euro menu. You can have a bowl of soup or garlic bread, main meal (selection of 20) and ice cream or coffee to finish, which is excellent value for money. Also, evening and weekend menus are available from 4.95-euros. Now open Mondays!

FREE 1/2ltr Margarita when 2 people dine from the A La Carte menu!

The Swan Fresh food served 7 days a week, all with good quality produce. We also cater for any special requirements.

Daily Specials. Friday: Cod and chips night.

Sunday Lunch: 12noon - 8pm.

24hr notice for paella, lamb shank, fillet steak or ask us for anything you fancy.

Or just pop in for a drink, with live entertainment every night, 9pm - midnight, and your favourite quiz on Sunday evenings. Great entertainment, even greater value!

Cañada Blanca 2, Parque de la Reina

In front of Margarita Apartments, Los Cristianos

Open: 12noon - 11pm. Closed Tuesdays

Open: 10am - Late. Food until 8pm

Call: 922 739 250

Call: 602 601 634

Lucky 7’s Bar and Burger Joint Specialising in burgers made with the finest, freshest, selected cuts cooked to your liking. Delicious cocktails and amazing views.

Burgers, booze and views!

James’ Place The only British bar and the jewel in the crown in La Caleta. Something for all the family with stylish dining area, sun drenched terrace, games room, all your Live Sport and a fantastic menu.

Freshly beer-battered fish and home to ‘The Best’ Sunday Roast!

1pm-6pm James’s Place - Where we just haven’t met you yet!

La Caleta

Open: Food served Mon-Sat: 10am - 10pm.

Sun: 10am - 6pm. Open til late.

Call: 922 168 139

50€

eek

per w

San Telmo Strip, Los Cristianos Open: Everyday, 1pm - midnight

Call: 922 17 35 25

Advertise your restaurant here!

www.canarianweekly.com

Wine & Dine

1st April - 7th April 2016

41 CW

Laser blast for food poisoning FOOD poisoning is something we wouldn’t wish on our worst enemy because it is so debilitating and unpleasant, and we should all try to reduce the risks of suffering from it.

Every year, in the US, about 50 million people are affected. This figure includes more than a million cases of potentially-lethal salmonella. And in the UK, over half-a-million people suffer annually from this illness.

Now, however, relief could be at hand. Dr Jonghee Yoon, with a team at the South Korean Advanced Institutes of Science and Technology, have invented a method of detecting bacteria in seconds, by using a laser beam, and without having to touch the food.

The devices could be utilised in domestic fridges, or in food processing, and could help prevent food poisoning.

In most cases of the illness, the food is contaminated by bacteria, such as salmonella or

Escherichia coli (E. coli), or a virus, like the norovirus.

Finding ways to prevent the spread of bacteria is an important goal for the food industry, but it is hard to detect in food products.

The most-common detection techniques have to be done inside a lab, by trained professionals.

When a laser beam hits biological tissue, it is scattered through the material, causing the light to interfere and creating a random pattern known as laser speckle.

Bacteria on the surface of food changes the speckle by causing scattering. As the bacteria move, the speckle pattern changes.

A camera was used which took 30 pictures a second, and the images were then processed, to reveal any difference. The research scientists tested the detector using chicken breast, purchased at a local food market on the day of the experiments.

Samples were contaminated with bacteria E. coli and Bacillus cereus, both common causes of food poisoning.

They then looked at the samples, while

shining a laser, and recorded the speckles.

The technique showed which samples were contaminated, and to what degree.

Bacteria, like salmonella, have hair-like flagella, which are lashlike appendages that stick out from the cell.

They use these to propel themselves across surfaces.

This movement turns the surface of contaminated food into an ocean of writhing micro-organisms, and it is this movement that Dr Yoon has worked out how to spot.

The technique picked up both types of bacterial contamination, although it could not distinguish between them.

It also demonstrated that uncontaminated meat shows little or no change in the laser speckle pattern over time.

One advantage is that it does not require contact with the food, so it can be done at a distance. It can also be performed through transparent, plastic packaging.

There are a couple of downsides, however.

The technique can detect different types of bacteria, but it cannot distinguish between

them. And it cannot spot contaminants which do not change the laser speckle over

time, so it wouldn’t pick up viruses like norovirus.

But it’s a start and

could, eventually, provide relief for those who suffer food poisoning!

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Lifestyle

1st April - 7th April 2016

Drumming up a depression cure

THEY’RE NOT SO SQUEAKY-CLEAN

By Carl Pattison IT’S not a miracle in a bottle, and it’s not going to clean up your home or make you more interesting … it’s SHAMPOO. Every week, on TV ads and in magazines, I see new wonder-products that will - and shall - give you the hair of your dreams.

Major companies must sit and wonder what concoctions they can throw in your direction, to make you believe in their dream products.

Your hair is a living thing. It cannot be brought back to life with these products, if it has been abused.

I sell just two varie-

ties of shampoo in the salon, which cater for the type of hair that 99% of my clients have: normal/dry, or very dry.

It’s amazing to see the statements made by leading companies to sell their products … words that bend the truth. Yet they’re all there - at the bottom of the TV screen - for you to read for yourself.

Statements that claim: “69% of users agreed”. Great! But what about the other 31% who didn’t?

In my salon, I don’t use the two major companies’ products for a reason. Apart from “selling out” years ago, they still maintain that they don’t test on animals. Their products may not be tested, but the ingredients are.

It’s all so hypocritical, but anyone can check them out using Google.

Put in “Who owns..?”,

then the name of the product, and you will be surprised to see what’s hidden behind most of the big hairstyling names.

Most shampoos are detergent-based.

In other words, washingup liquid, filled with plastics, which will coat your hair in a layer of artificial goo.

All to make it “look and feel healthy”, and it will. But it’s not your hair you’re feeling afterwards. Think about what goes on your hair before grabbing the nearest bottle off the shelf.

Is it going to do what it says, or is the marketing so clever that you really do fall for it? As with all things in life, you get what you pay for.

And I wouldn’t wash my dog in most of the major shampoo brands!

STRAPPING HEELS

By Carl Pattison

WE often think of fashion shows and runway events as purely for clothing, but the items which carry the models down the catwalk tend to be overlooked.

So many women have a secret little fetish, and that’s SHOES. Even if you have more than a cupboard-full, you just can’t resist another pair, can you?

A good pair will carry off any outfit, taking something simple to another level, if you pick the right ones.

So what’s hot this

Spring/Summer in the fashion world of shoes?

One of the most-seen styles on many runways - and in many style magazines - is the elegant, strappy, Roman stiletto.

From ankle-high to just below the knee, this look is set to be seen in all major stores through this summer, and into the autumn.

Whether you go for the shoestring-size straps or the chunkier, broader version, the Roman sandal will enhance most leg shapes.

As long as the strapping isn’t cutting into the skin, this style of shoe looks so elegant with most outfits.

If you’re looking for something more casu-

al, then take a leaf out of Mrs Beckham’s style pages. She was seen, recently, sporting elegant “flats”, a rarity for her, as she’s always in killer heels.

Brogue-style flats are also abundant in the stores, giving a new edge on what is, normally, a chunkier style of shoe.

They match in with the “tassle” look, which is seen on everything this year, from jewellery to clothing, bags and now shoes.

So, on your next “browse” around the shops, if you’re going to impulse-buy, look around for these hot styles. They will get you noticed, for all the right reasons.

By Val Sainsbury MOST of us enjoy the benefits that music can bring, and listening to our favourite artistes can lift our mood.

What we probably don’t realise, though, is that letting rip on a drum kit can help beat depression.

Scientists have discovered that weekly sessions on the drums reduced those feelings of depression by 38%. Anxiety symptoms fell 20%, while general, mental well-being improved by 16%.

The Royal College of Music study saw 76 mental-health-service users take part in weekly drumming sessions for 2½ months.

And even three months after the study the benefits were evident, suggesting that drumming could be both an economical, and effective, treatment.

Aaron Williamson, the college’s Professor of Performance Science, said the results chimed with other research into music-making and mental health.

“We went with drums, partly because they are quite easy for most to play, without too much of a learning curve,” he said.

“Our study shows that making music can be a powerful tool for promoting mental health.”

The research is the first to bring together psychological and bio-

logical results, to investigate how making music helps people with mental-health problems.

The findings echo existing research on the effects of anti-depressant medication and psychotherapy on depression.

Many mental-health conditions, including depression, are thought to be linked to inflammation in the body’s immune system.

Tests on saliva showed that weekly drumming sessions reduced those levels of inflammation.

Professor Williamson

said the “social interaction” of making music in groups of up to 20 people was another factor in reducing depression symptoms.

The participants revealed in interviews that drumming provided a “form of expression and communication”, and that the shared experience “boosted feelings of belonging and acceptance”.

There were also benefits to be had in making new social contacts and learning new skills - in an “inclusive and relaxed musical activity”.

www.canarianweekly.com

Lifestyle

1st April - 7th April 2016

43 CW

Most dementia caused by knock on the head

By Val Sainsbury

MOST of us have had our lives touched by dementia, usually because a relative, or friend, has suffered with this unforgiving, cruel disease.

We are advised about how to reduce the chances of it developing, and scientists have now revealed that even repeated, minor-head traumas can trigger the early form of this condition.

The world of sport is no stranger to knocks on the head, and concussions sustained by footballers, boxers and rugby players are often in the news.

This type of injury has long been a subject of discussion by the medical profession, because of the long-term dan-

gers. The link between early dementia and concussion was first found by forensic neuropathologist Dr Bennet Omalu, a Nigerian-American who made the discovery when performing an autopsy on a former American-football player.

The condition he discovered, a type of dementia known as chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE), is a progressive, degenerative disease, found in people who have had a severe blow to the head.

It affects the bodies of brain neurons which specialise in memory, language, perception, thought and attention.

The CTE condition was previously called dementia pugilistica (DP), and sufferers were said to be “punchdrunk”, because it was noticed, initially, in those with a history of boxing.

Experts from Massey

University, in New Zealand, found that nearly 75% of people with dementia had previously suffered some sort of traumatic head injury.

Long-term effects of repeated blows to the head are just as damaging as a single episode

of a higher-grade head trauma.

The findings suggest that the brain is affected by the way the body responds to such injuries, which may cause micro -haemorrhages, inflammatory responses and nerve death.

Study author Virginia Westerberg said: “The conclusion was that the direct, and indirect, consequences of traumatic injury - not only to the head, but also to other body areas - could constitute a plausible risk-factor for the earlier development, or faster progression, of dementia.”

In the current study, scientists analysed data from 7,000 patients, treated at Palmerston North Hospital.

They found that a history of traumatic injury was found, more frequently, in cases with dementia.

Of the study cases, 73% of dementia patients had endured a past, traumatic injury, significant enough to warrant an emergencyroom visit. In contrast, just 26% of the non-dementia patients had a history of trauma.

The data didn’t spec-

ify whether the injuries were sustained through falls, blows, accidents, or playing sport.

Ms Westerberg said: “The long-term effects of repeated, mild blows to the head were as exceedingly common as a single episode of a higher-grade brain trauma and as damaging.”

Further research could provide evidence that a repeated, minor traumatic event could cause organic or functional brain damage, leading to progressive cognitive impairment, such as dementia.

The scientist added: “For the time being, because there is no treatment or cure for CTE, risk awareness of your sport - and injury prevention - are vital.

“Most official sports organisations emphasise that protective headgear should be worn during training, and in competitions.”

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Community News

Live Arico news

Our Top Square bonanza WHAT a superb night we had, raising 560 euros. Many thanks to entertainers Aidy Evans, Steve Delsey, Nigel Walker, Colin Stevens, Jay Francis, Tanya Tevaro, Coco Page and Debbie Diamond.

Thanks, also, to Derrick and Vicki Lynes, Becky and John, and Cathy and Debbie for invaluable help with getting the money in.

And thanks to everyone who supported us.

You never let us down, and we hope you had a good evening. See you at the end of June for the next one.

Upcoming events Next Saturday (9th April) sees us at Amanda’s Bar, near our San Eugenio charity shop, opposite Hotel la Nina, from 2pm.

Have fun in the sun and help us to raise much-needed funds.

There will be lots of acts, singing for free, and also a raffle, tombola - and more.

We will also have some designer clothes on sale, so bring your purses, girls.

Our Charity shops There are plenty of bargains for all, so have a good root around at any of our three shops:

*San Eugenio, opposite Hotel La Nina, at las Carabelas near Amanda’s Bar. Open MondaySaturday (10am-4pm) *Los Cristianos, Calle Revron, near Thistle and Dragon Bar and playpark. Open daily (10am-4pm) *Golf del Sur, Golf Park, just before the lottery kiosk. Open MondayFriday (10am-to 6pm), Saturday (10am-4pm), Sunday (10.30am3.30pm) Save them for us!

Don’t throw things away! Call 629 388 102, and we’ll sell your unwanted items to help the dogs.

Dogs of the week Two-year-old Nevada (the grey one pictured) was dumped on us, recently, with her three babies. We have already homed one, but these girls also need homes, as does Nevada.

They are all lovely, sweet dogs of medium size. Sadly, they are at the refuge at the moment, which is not the best start in life.

Please consider adopting one of them.

You can have a week’s trial to see how things go. Call Sue for more information on 629 388 102.

1st April - 7th April 2016

Nigel Benn ba WE are just two weeks away from what promises to be one of the events of the year at Showtime. It’s for one night only and “the only time both men will sit around a table together in Europe”.

Former WBO and WBC champion Nigel Benn, and Ireland’s most successful boxer, ex-WBO champion Steve Collins, will headline an “Evening With” show.

The boxing legends will be joined by Nigel’s son, Conor Benn, who

is a special guest, just a week after his professional debut.

He has been making headlines this week after his slot on the big Anthony Joshua card at London’s O2 was confirmed.

Conor said: “Until I’ve become the youngest world champion, or won more belts, I’ll always be Nigel Benn’s son. Achieving more will be very hard.

The 19-year-old has signed a deal with Matchroom Boxing, and his father is confident he can succeed - having “thrown the kitchen sink at him” in a sparring session.

“My dad didn’t really want me to fight,” said

Accion del Sol news

It’s Puppy Love again WE have again taken in a large number of puppies, all of which need four-hourly feeds, which means we had an extremely busy Easter period.

That has led to a genuine shortage of puppy milk, so if you would like to donate some, or help us with the many hungry mouths we have to feed, please call 922 778 630.

Many Accion dogs are sent to Germany for rehoming, especially the bigger breeds because they have a better chance of being taken in by loving families.

Marion, who runs the refuge, is always looking for people travelling to Germany with Condor, Air Berlin or TuiFly and would like to help an animal.

It costs you nothing but a little bit of time at the airport while our staff check the dogs in - the reservations will be made and paid by the charity, naturally.

You will be met at your destination by staff from our German sponsors, the Aktion Tier charity, who will then transport the dogs to their new homes.

If you are travelling to Germany and would like to help, please call Marion on 922 778 630.

Grateful thanks We are so thankful for all the support we receive from our many volunteers and support-

ers of all nationalities.

You help us in so many ways … adoptions, dogwalking, plus donations of bedding, sheets and towels.

You also help ease the pain and suffering of some of the many

strays, who may have endured years of physical, and mental, abuse.

Please call us on the number stated if you can help in any way, or visit the refuge on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday afternoons, from 2-5pm, and Saturdays (1-4pm).

Find us here We are situated directly under the Ecological Park (exit 52) on the north-bound TF-1.

Head for the giant windmills and you’ll find us in the buildings on the right-hand side.

Email the refuge at teneriffa@aktiontier.org or visit our Facebook page: action tier Accion del SOL for further details.

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Community News

1st April - 7th April 2016

ack in Tenerife Conor. “He thought I would give it a try and have it as a hobby, but it escalated really quickly. He said there were a million other things to do. But I have no choice but to fight because it’s in me. It’s what I want to do. I want to be the best.”

Conor, who will also be on the top table, will talk about his life as a boxing novice, his first pro fight and what it was like growing up as the son of a legend.

Tickets are selling fast for the 16th April event.

The evening starts at 7pm with a meet-andgreet, for VIP ticketholders, with Nigel Benn and Steve Collins.

The general admission is at 7.45pm, and a three-course meal with wine follows. Both legends will then give an after-dinner speech, followed by questions from the floor.

The fun night includes a raffle, headsand-tails and a photo opportunity, plus an auction with some magnificent prizes.

These include autographed gloves, specially-signed shorts, signed canvas pictures and exclusive pad sessions in the gym with Benn and Collins!

Tickets, on sale priced 60-150 euros, can be bought from www. showtimetenerife.com - or call 649 081 211.

Cake-morning kids putting charity first

Cats Welfare

It’s raining kittens WE are now in the midst of the “kitten season”, and they will continue to be born - and, sadly, abandoned - throughout the summer, which means it’s a really busy time for us.

Cats Welfare neuters many hundreds of stray cats every year, but there are still too many kittens born. The easiest way to help reduce the overwhelming numbers is to have your own cat neutered, and encourage other catowners to do the same.

Mating just once can start a domino effect,which results in dozens, hundreds or even thousands, of unwanted animals.

Please remember that at just five months, a female can become pregnant when she is a baby herself.

Unwanted cats and kittens, when not left on the street to fend for themselves, often result in emergency phone calls to us by concerned residents and holidaymakers.

We are busy all year round, but during kitten season our resources - like food, money

for vet bills, and foster space - are stretched to the limit.

If you would like to join our foster-care team, please contact us because we always need more foster spaces. We provide food, litter, cover vet bills and find them permanent homes, etc.

All you supply are the cuddles.

And it’s not a problem if you don’t live in Tenerife permanently, because most fostering is just for a couple of weeks, so there is no long-term commit-

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ment. If you would like to adopt a kitten, or find out more about fostering, please call or Whatsapp Theresa on 680 475 500 (9am-6pm, every day), or message our website on www. cats-welfare-tenerife. com/contacts Kittens or pregnant cats?

If you know of/find any kittens or even pregnant mothers, please contact us immediately.

Don’t leave it until the kittens are big and running around to ask for help.

If they are with a

mother and safe, we will probably leave them where they are for a few days/weeks and monitor them.

But if they are in danger, or without a mum, we might remove them immediately.

Check those ears Just as a cautionary note If you see a cat in the street with a little piece of its ear missing its because it has been neutered as part of the Trap, Neuter, Return TNR scheme.

We are called to get a “pregnant female” so many times, only to find it’s a fat, castrated tom! So check its ears before you contact us and, if possible, get a photo.

Big clear-out?

If you have good quality/condition items to donate, please consider donating them to our charity shop. Smaller items can be dropped into the shop on San Blas in Golf del Sur (behind HiperDino). It is open 7 days a week (10am-6pm), and Saturdays from 11am to 4pm.

If you don’t have transport or have bulky items such as furniture and household effects, donate please ring Mark on 636 590 557 and he will arrange collection.

AFTER the success of the 1st Los Cristianos Rainbows, Brownies and Guides’ bag-packing and cake morning last month, the girls have now been spending their well-earned money on a great cause.

They were seen in Mercadona and Iceland, at Las Chafiras, buying Easter goodies and treats, as well as essential food items to

pass on to the Friends of Gillian Banks Theatre school charity.

The group helps the under-privileged Children of Guaidyl by providing everyday necessities, from education, clothes and shoes, games and toys, etc.

Many thanks to the staff of Iceland for allowing the children to host their cake morning there.

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www.canarianweekly.com 1st April - 7th April 2016

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Puzzle Page

1st April - 7th April 2016

Quick quiz CW Crossword Which number replaces the question mark?

Godoku!

This week’s letters: A D E G K L O R W This week’s mystery clue: Anna Hopkins has this profession in a mystery series by Annie Dalton (9 letters).

A W L K

R

A

K G W D W R

E R

L O

R K D A

K D

E G O L Sudoku X...

Just enter the numbers 1 - 9 once in each row, column and 3 x 3 square within the sudoku X puzzle grid. In addition to standard sudoku, the numbers must only occur once in each side of the ‘X’ that is marked on the grid.

30-Second Brain Training

What better way to train your brain. Starting at the left with the number provided, work across each of these lines applying the mathematical instructions to your running total. Don´t reach for the calculator - that´s cheating! Write your final answer in the last box of the line. Aim to complete each round in about 30 seconds.

Good Luck!

Beginner

41 6

Starter Number

7

+99

1

-7

2

3

÷2

+83

7

8

9

÷4

÷4

20%

of this

Intermediate Starter Number

8 9

87

1 8 6 9 5

1

2

2 3 8 And 2 normal sudokus for you as well...

1

-53

2

3

x6

3/4

of this

6

7

of this

-133

9

+652

8

2/7

-87

5/6

of this

Answer

x2

121

1

2

3

4/11 of this

+376

3/7

6

7

8

-87

÷4 +234

of this

Face Mix

Can you name the three famous faces in this picture?

Top ______________________

Last Issue's Answers:

5

4

CW Crossword

ACROSS. 1 SCUM, 3 STOMACHS, 9 BASHFUL, 10 CRUEL, 11 EXTRA, 12 PASSION, 13 COLDER, 15 PRONTO, 18 LEGUMES, 20 SWEAR, 22 EBBED, 23 FRETTED, 25 THERMALS, 26 ARID. DOWN. 1 SOB, 2 UPSET, 4 TULIPS. 5 MOCKS, 6 CAUTION, 7 SPLENDOUR. 8 AFLAME, 11 EXCELLENT, 14 LEGIBLE, 16 RISKED, 17 USEFUL, 19 MADAM, 21 EATER, 24 DID.

Advanced Starter Number

DOWN 1 Type of tree (8) 2 Firm, dense (5) 3 Egg white (7) 4 Required (6) 5 Girls’ toys (5) 6 Numbers (7) 7 Dash, flit (4) 12 Reversed (6,2) 14 Advance showing (7) 16 Pander to (7) 17 Rats and mice (6) 19 One who gives (5) 21 Accumulate (5) 22 Magician’s stick (4)

Bottom ______________________

3 5

7 9 4

ACROSS 1 Prolonged (9) 6 Whimsy, craze (3) 8 Firearm bore (7) 9 Light beer (5) 10 Computer router (5) 11 Make sure (6) 13 Be contrite (6) 15 Afternoon nap (6) 18 Interfere (6) 20 Consumed liquid (5) 23 Foreign (5) 24 Breed of duck (7) 25 Moisture (3) 26 2nd and 3rd (7,2)

Middle ______________________

Answer

x3

-12

5

4

by Trevor Kirton

47 CW

4

-55

9

5/6

5

x3

Answer

of this

8 5 7

5 7 3 6 8

6 4 2 1 8

2

6 1

8 9 1

4 3 2

7

Quick Quiz Answer: 3

In each group of 3 numbers, the lower number equals the average of the top two numbers.

Brain Training: Beginner: 43 Intermediate: 12 Advanced: 50 Godoku:

Face Mix:

Rihanna Victoria Beckham Cheryl Fernandez-Versini Sudoku X:

4 8 7 3 9 6 2 5 1

5

5 3 9 4 1 2 8 7 6

1 2 6 5 8 7 3 9 4

5

8

2

3 5 4 9 7 8 6 1 2

7 6 1 2 5 4 9 8 3

3

8

1 7 9 2 4 9 8 3

6 1 2 8 4 5 7 3 9

8 4 3 7 6 9 1 2 5

1 6 4 5 7

5 3 4

2 9 8 6 3 1 5 4 7

6

9 7 5 1 2 3 4 6 8

Sudoku:

4 5 9 8 2 9 1 2 2 4

3 6 4 1 9

1 8 3 4 2 5 7 6 9

7 1 4 9 6 8 2 3 5

7 5 6 1 8 9 3 4 2

8 3 9 7 2 5 1 6 4

4 9 2 7 6 3 8 5 1

5 6 2 4 1 3 9 8 7

6 3 5 8 7 1 2 9 4

6 7 1 5 3 9 4 2 8

9 2 7 3 5 4 1 8 6

4 2 3 8 7 1 5 9 6

8 4 1 6 9 2 5 7 3

9 8 5 2 4 6 7 1 3

2 6 8 9 3 7 4 1 5

2 9 7 6 8 4 3 5 1

5 7 4 2 1 6 9 3 8

3 5 6 1 9 7 8 4 2

3 1 9 5 4 8 6 2 7

1 4 8 3 5 2 6 7 9

CW 48

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Information

1st April - 7th April 2016

How to Advertise: Page 48

PHONE 902 232 102 / FAX 902 232 102 / Email: classified@canarianweekly.com Or just pop in the office in Las Chafiras (above Juno, next to Bar Acuario). Upto 500 euros.

Page 49

Page 49 Lineage 0.50c per word FREE: 1 telephone number Basic box advert Classic box advert

Advertise your property or classified advert here.

20 euros per week (30 words maximum) double size box

Advertise your property or classified advert here.

25 euros per week (30 words maximum) Classic DBLE box

Advertise Advertise your your property property or or classified classified advert here. advert here.

40 euros 35 euros per week per week (60 words (60 words maximum) maximum)

British Consulate Address: Plaza Weyler, 8, 1º, 38003 Santa Cruz de Tenerife.

Public opening hours: Tuesdays & Fridays: 08.30hrs – 13.30hrs Notarial services: Please consult our webpage or call 902 109 356 or alternatively +34 913 342 194 for further information on how to make an appointment. Please note, we are no longer able to provide notarial services without prior appointment.

Emergency Assistance: Assistance is available 24hrs a day, 7 days a week by calling us on 902 109 356 or alternatively +34 913 342 194 E-mail: info.consulate@fco.gov.uk Web:http//: ukin spain.fco.gov.uk Cosumer Office Tel: 922 76 16 00 Town Hall Tel: 922 76 16 00 Emergencies Emergency Services (All) Tel: 112 National Police - Tel: 091 Local Police Tel: 092 Ambulance Tel: 061 Fire Brigade Tel: 080 Guardia Civil Tel: 062 Multi-lingual police central office Tel: 902 102 112 Call this number and ask to speak to an English operator to make a report or official complaint.

Local Police Tel: 922 75 70 06

Red Cross Emergencies and Ambulances Tel: 922 28 18 00 Information and Blood Bank Tel: 922 28 29 24 International MEDSERVICE Tel: 922 79 05 63 Medical Benefits Agency Tel: (00 44) 191 218 7547 For if you find yourself in medical difficulties whilst on holiday and without the proper holiday insurance.

Lineage 35 euros for 4 weeks 1 module box advert

Advertise your service advert here. 80 euros for 4 weeks* advertising (20 euros per week) Please ask us for prices for larger size adverts.

All property, classified and service point have to be paid for in cash at our officces in Las Chafiras. *Service point adverts have to be in for a minimum of 4 weeks.

Deadline: Tuesday 4pm

Shopping Most shops open from Mon - Sat 09:00 - 13:00 then 16:00 - 20:00 Some shops may open for just Saturday Morning, and many shops are closed on Sundays and Tourist Offices, Bank Holidays, with the exception of souvenir shops which tend to open 7 days a week.

Pharmacy Information and Locator (24 hours) Tel: 922 28 24 24 Citizen Information Tel: 010 Postal Services Tel: 902 19 71 97 International Operator Tel: 11825 Local Operator Tel: 11818 Tourist Information Tel: 922 60 55 90 Hospitals & Medical Centres (Answering Machine) Tel: 094 Hospital Las Americas, Playa de las Americas Tel: 922 75 00 22 Playa de Las Americas Centro Medicos Del Sur Tel: 922 79 10 00 Candelaria Hospital Tel: 922 60 20 00

Tourist Offices Tenerife Sur Tourist Office (Main Tourist Office) Tel: 902 00 31 21 Santa Cruz de Tenerife Tel: 922 28 93 94 Santiago de Teide Tel: 922 86 03 48 Costa Adeje Tel: 922 75 06 33 Puerto de la Cruz Tel: 922 38 60 00 El Medano Tel: 922 17 60 02 La Laguna Tel: 922 63 11 94 La Orotava Tel: 922 32 30 41 Las Galletas Tel: 922 73 01 33 Los Cristianos Tel: 922 75 71 37 Los Llanos de Aridane Tel: 922 40 18 99 Playa de las Américas Tel: 922 79 76 68 Playa de las Vistas Tel: 922 78 70 11

Beach Safety Obey the beach warning flags and always supervise children when near water.

Red - Strong currents do not swim

Tour Operators TUI/ Thomson Tel: 922 761 201 Thomas Cook Tel: 922 757 409 Cosmos Tel: 922 793 802

Discounts available for more than one edition.

N.B. there is a 50% premium for a property/Business for sale classified adverts.

Page 49

Yellow - Strong winds and turbulent sea conditions. Take care.

Green - Safe to swim

Almost new KUNFT fridge in perfect working order size 85cm x 55 x 55, 60 euros. Can deliver if local to Adeje. Tel: Peter on 666 328 439 Viewsonic VGA/DVi 19in graphic series flat-screen black PC monitor, perfect, 25 euros. Tel: 659 036 393.

Lexmark printer/scanner with instruction book & new ink refill kit, 25 euros. 3 old Man City football shirts, asnew, 10 euros each. Large office desk, with cupboard & 3 drawers, 50 euros. Three-quarter to double bedspread with valance, plain cream,10 euros ono. King-size duvet 8 euros, ono. Double yellow quilt cover, 4 euros. 2 single quilt covers in blue with dolphins, 5 euros. Double throw with valance & 2 matching pillow shams in cream, 20 euros. Pair of single sheets, flower pattern, 5 euros.

Pine oval dining table and 3 chairs, 50 euros ono. Dining table in white-painted cane with glass top, square, plus 4 chairs with cushions, 60 euros. TV small flat screen 50cm with remote, good cond, 65 euros. Child carrier for back of adult, storage pockets, 15 euros. Microwave

Transport TFS - Tenerife Sur Airport (Reina Sofia) For flights from the Spanish mainland and nearly all scheduled international flights.

Telephone numbers: Flight Information 902 404 704 (lines open 24 hours) Airport Information Tel: 922 75 90 00 Tourist Information Tel: 922 392 037 TFN - Tenerife Norte airport (Los Rodeos) For all domestic flights and some scheduled international and mainland services.

Telephone numbers: Flight Information Tel: 902 404 704 (lines open 24 hours) General Information Tel: 922 635 800 Buses TITSA is Tenerife´s public bus company.

Tel: 922 53 13 00 The ´Bono-Bus´ discount card can be purchased from all TITSA stations and terminals of TITSA and reduces the cost of transport by up to 30%.

Radio Taxis Tel: 922 64 11 12 N.B. Taxi cabs display a special SP (Servico Público) licence plate.

Arona Taxis Tel: 922 74 75 11 National Ferry Services Fred Olsen Tel: 922 62 82 52

(Whirlpool) with grill, steam, jet and crisp features, 40 euros. Acer computer keyboard and mouse, 10 euros.

Mirror set on pine wood surround, 20 euros. Large wall mirror with cane surround, 20 euros. Logitech Wireless keyboard, as-new, 10 euros. Black & white, scene of Eiffel Tower at night. 15 euros. Small elec fan heater, 12 euros.

Nador elec 4-ring hob, must be connected to oven, 45 euros. 4 black soft blankets, 15 euros the lot. White cane unit with 3 drawers at bottom, glass doors at top & shelves, 40 euros. Small grey metal filing cabinet on wheels, 20 euros. Lady’s glam, long coat knitted style in cotton beige, Size 14 UK approx, as-new, 20 euros. Wood & wrought-iron 2 seater park bench with 2 matching 1-seater chairs, all with arms & small table, varnished wood, 50 euros. Queen-size bed and mattress, inc solid wood headboard and 2 matching bedside tables with 1 drawer in each. 50 euros. Tel: 922 794 790 or 699 199 392 Overhead fan with white light and remote control, brandnew, 50 euros. Artificial grass, brand-new, 7m x 2m, 150 euros. 10 large plant pots, almost new, plastic, pottery colour, 15 euros each, Las Americas. Tel 922 797 565, or email privat3001@yahoo.de Moulinex microwave & grill, perfect cond, 35 euros. Tel: 922 799 088 or 651 524 137.

14k gold bangle with 3 emeralds and 4 diamonds, 495 euros. Electric sander with triangle head, 35 euros. White

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Classified

1st April - 7th April 2016

Free Ads (cont.) lady’s Puma trainers with diamante detail, pure leather, size 38, nearly new, 65 euros. Toaster, 10 euros. New men’s grey/blue trainers, UK size 11, 25 euros. Tel: 608 653 260

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Property for Sale

Jobs Adeslas Group the leading Medical/Dental insurance organisation in Spain. seeks professional part-time and full-time agents to spearhead their new top promotional campaign in home, business, accident and funeral insurance. Call 648 899 761 for an interview.

Club Olympus require experienced reps for their thriving In-House programme. Excellent working environment, good commissions paid, contract & nomina supplied.

Must have NIE number. Contact Sue on 922 795 606 or Ray on 600 526 647

Cars/BIKES

Due to massive expansion, a busy marketing office based in the south of Tenerife is looking to recruit a number of new telemarketers. Awesome leads, great pitches and fantastic destinations to sizzle. Fantastic packages are available to interested and enthusiastic canvassers.

A variety of hours and shift patterns for mornings and evenings are available. Please call 922 715 610 and ask for Nicola or Neil or email telemarketing@regencyshoressl. com to apply.

C1709. SAN ISIDRO. Very pretty refurbished 2 bedroom apartment in San Isidro.

59.000 Euros

B1582. ORLANDO, TORVISCAS.

Totally renovated 1 bedroom apt, in excellent condition and with views to the pool, sea and mountains.

147.000 Euros

Property for renT

Rentals: 922 797 438 Sales: 922 751 072 Mobile: 693 713 686

www.tenerifeislandrentals.com

C1659. TERRAZAS DEL CONDE, TORVISCAS

ALTO. 2 bed duplex penthouse on 134 m2 construction, 2 terraces with views of the coast & the sea.

180.000 Euros

D1307. ROQUE DEL CONDE, TORVISCAS ALTO. Attractive modern villa at the top of the hill with stunning views. Top quality building materials + the very exclusive furniture and fittings.

895.000 Euros

www.thepropertygallery.com

Parque De La Reina - 495€

Los Cristianos - 1250€

2 bed 2 bath ground floor apartment with large terrace, independent fully fitted kitchen, pool on complex and you have a garage parking space.

3 bed 2 bath penthouse apartment centrally located within walking distance to the beach front and all amenities. Large terrace with fantastic views and all bedrooms of double size.

Urgently Required areas

properties for all

San Eugenio Alto - 875€ 2 bed 2 bath bungalow with south facing terrace/ garden area, fully fitted kitchen, master bedroom with en suite shower and has a walk in shower and pool on complex.

Cars wanted CARS BOUGHT FOR CASH - Offer made once seen, we will come to you. WANTED small cars to medium cars, 4 X 4’s, small vans, people carriers, runners and non runners, accident damaged, etc. ANYTHING CONSIDERED.

Call us now on 678 451 641

Chayofa - 945€ 2 bed 2 bath townhouse, has a small garden to the front entrance, large south facing terrace with private plunge pool and sea views and has an enclosed garage for parking.

Air-Conditioning

CW 50

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Service Point

1st April - 7th April 2016

Construction

Auction Fortnightly General Auctions at Tenerife Auction Rooms, Las Chafiras. Buy and sell almost anything! Collection & delivery available. Call 609 303 634

Health & Beauty www.fitnesswithdebbie.com Tel: 664 576 779 www.yogavibetenerife.com

Antiques ALADDINS CAVE. Antiques bought & sold Tel: 922 720 493

&

Vintage

Goods

Blinds

Home removal

Cars

Kitchens & bathrooms Colin Taylor – Renovations & Maintenance, Bathrooms, Kitchens, Tiling, Plumbing, Decorating, Plastering etc. Tel: 661 081 843 for quotation.

Lawyers Long term car rental (1 x week) from 200 euro per month. We pick up full insurance and breakdown. Please telephone 642 756 473 for fast polite service

Chiropodist Ann Malpass M.A.F.H.P. M.C.F.H.P. Qualified Chiropodist.

All your foot care needs solved in the comfort of your own home/hotel. Tel 625 799 570 Elaine Watson Jones MSSCh MBChA. Home/Hotel visits from Los Gigantes to El Medano. Tel: 608 029 790.

Email: canarianfeet@gmail.com

Cleaning

Mechanics Electrician Elite Cleaning Services is an established cleaning company who can provide a professional cleaning service for Apartments, Villas and Offices. Call us today on 922 789 795 or 696 922 597.

Clubs

Furniture New Bed Bases & Mattresses for sale at Tenerife Auction Rooms, Las Chafiras. Excellent Quality, Low Prices, Next Day Delivery. Call 609 303 634

Computers

Garden Furniture

Telephone: 922 736 728 E-mail:

Computer Service Provider BT Authorised Dealer Dell Registered Partner

info@act-tenerife.com

Web:

www.act-tenerife.com

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Service Point

1st April - 7th April 2016

Mechanics (Cont.)

Plumbing

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Storage Short and Long Term Storage available at Tenerife Auction Rooms, anything from a suitcase to complete removals. Collection available. Call 609 303 634

Tiling Boiler King: All plumbing works undertaken including boiler replacements, drain clearance, swimming pool pump repair & maintenance. Tel: 680 278 579

Pool tables

Patio Doors & Windows

Translation Property services

TENERIFE TRANSLATION SERVICES: Legally registered with over 25 years experience. Official, Medical, Notary, Wills, Utilities, Probate, Pensions, car paperwork and much more. Professionalism and confidentiality guaranteed.

Transport available. Call Tracey on 666 857 991 or email on info@tenerifetranslationservices.com

Travel agents

Removals UNIVERSAL EXPORTS S.L. PROFESSIONAL REMOVALS TO AND FROM THE U.K. Email: info@removals-tenerife.com Transport Licence: No. 11572932 C.I.F. No. B38820395 Tel: 922 720 711

Second-hand Shops

Wanted:

Furniture and household items 路 Bought for Cash 路 Immediate Decisions 路 Immediate Payment

Call Freddie on 609 303 634 repairs

security Personal ServiceS Los Cristianos. Patrica returns from Venezuela. Larges breast, without limits. Calle Noruega near the Supermarket ALTAVISTA. 610 359 339.

Las Galletas, novelty 2 friends, sensual friendly services.

Come and enjoy with us, kisses. Tel: 669 738 298 Las Galletas , novelty Kelly , Sexy, hot, erotic massage.

SPEAK ENGLISH 634 727 121 Pest control

TV and Satellite ElectroSat TV S.L. C/Encarnacion No 1. Valle San Lorenzo, Tenerife. Tel: 922 72 22 27 Mobile 670 277 772, email: info@electrosat.com Menny Fix, Satellite TV Tel 922 792 116 Avnd; Antonio Dominguez 18, Edif: MarOLa Local 2, Los Cristianos. EST 1994, Repairs, Maintenance and Sales.

Windows

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Sport

1st April - 7th April 2016

Hammers C all at sea!

WITH the Division One top spots in the Direct Telecom Pool League decided last week, attention turned to the bottom of the table - and the relegation battle as the last round of matches took place.

Bluebell A finished their season last week and occupied the second-from-bottom spot, so all that remained was to determine who would accompany them going down.

Tenerife Hammers C were bottom of the table but with two games left to play compared with Terrace Roosters’ one, they still had a chance of staying up.

But that chance disappeared on Monday when they played The Phoenix in their catchup game at Palms Bar. The Phoenix soon raced into a 6-1 lead and the Hammers’ survival hopes were up in smoke.

They were back in action on Tuesday, against Terrace Bantams on Amarilla Golf. But despite a really tight game, they couldn’t end their Division One stay with a win, going down 7-5 in a tight encounter.

The Monday result

meant Terrace Roosters could breathe easily They ended their season with a trip to Los Abrigos to play The Phoenix, who had done them a favour the night before.

The home team again did the damage early as they took a 4-0 lead.

Roosters came back with a few frames but, with bragging rights at stake with regards league positions, The Phoenix quickly wrapped up the win.

Phoenix Potters were away at Exiles A and knew they needed their bar-mates to drop points if they were to finish above them.

That was assuming they won, but Exiles is a tough place to go and so it proved again. It was a close game, with frames being traded, and it came as no surprise when it finished all-square.

The point was enough to keep Exiles A above Potters - and bragging rights went to The Phoenix.

With safety secured a few weeks ago, Palms A wanted to put one over rivals Palms B in the final game of the season. It was a wellcontested derby with little to choose between the sides.

The A team, former league and cup winners, were shaking their heads as they went 3-0 down after some wretched luck.

division 1 ResultS

Dreamers A Exiles A Gaffers A Palms Bar A Tenerife Hammers A Terrace Bantams The Phoenix Tenerife Hammers C

4-8 6-6 3-9 5-7 5-7 7-5 8-4 4-8

Treehouse A Phoenix Potters Rewind A Palms Bar B Gaffers B Tenerife Hammers C Terrace Roosters The Phoenix

division 1 Table Table

P W D L F

A +- PTS

1 Gaffers A

27 22

3

2 220 104 116 69

2 Tenerife Hammers A

28 20

4

4 199 137 62

64

3 Dreamers A

28 19

4

5 194 142 52

61

4 Treehouse A

28 16

6

6 197 139 58

54

5 Palms Bar B

28 15

6

7 188 148 40

51

6 Rewind A

27 13

2

12 170 154 16

41

7 The Phoenix

28 11

5

12 166 170

-4

38

8 Gaffers B

28

9

9

10 164 172 -8

36

9 Exiles A

28 11

3

14 156 180 -24 36

10 Phoenix Potters

28

9

8

11 161 175 -14 35

11 Terrace Bantams

28 10

3

15 160 176 -16 33

12 Palms Bar A

28

3

18 136 200 -64 24

7

13 Terrace Roosters

28

6

2

20 123 213 -90 20

14 Bluebell A

28

6

1

21 137 199 -62 19

15 Tenerife Hammers C 28

4

3

21 137 199 -62 15

But they hung in and, with a slice of fortune, could have taken something from the contest.

That said, Wayne was top drawer for the B team. He took a break clearance in his first frame, then a fine visit gave them a sevenballer against Taliban.

A team skipper Roscoe was also in fine form winning all three frames. But it was not enough as the B team edged it 7-5.

At the top end of the table, with all the places already decided, we saw

some interesting results. Champions Gaffers A finished with a home game against Rewind A and, maybe with the title secure, took their foot off the gas.

However, not to take anything away from Rewind A because they were excellent on the night. Finding themselves 3-2 down, Danny then beat Kev to level the scores, which inspired his team-mates to win the next six games, giving Rewind a fine victory.

League runners-up Hammers A also found themselves losing against Gaffers B, who have had a superb first season at the top table.

Gaffers B couldn’t believe their luck when they took a 6-2 lead and, despite a fightback from Hammers A, they took the all-important seventh frame and the win.

In the final game of the night, fourthplaced Treehouse A got one over third-placed Dreamers A to finish

division 2 ResultS Picasso’s A Tenerife Pool Tables Bluebell B The Crown B

7-5 The Crown B 12 - 0 Hoppys A 6-6 Picasso’s A 8-4 Treehouse B

division 2 Table Table

P

W D

1 The Crown B

29 22

3

4 228 120 108 69

2 Picasso’s A

30 21

4

5 223 137 86 67

3 Rewind Rewired

29 21

2

6 237 111 126 65

4 Bluebell B

30 17

3

10 208 152 56 54

5 Splash Bar

30 16

5

9 207 153 54 53

6 Treehouse B

29 15

5

9 187 161

26 50

7 Tenerife Pool Tables

30 14

4

12 201 159

42 46

8 Hoppys B

29 10

2

17 144 204 -60 32

9 Hoppys A

30

6

3

21 134 226 -92 21

10 Dreamers B

30

3

0

27 82

11 Sabores

30

2

1

27 105 255 -150 7

their season off with a win.

Both teams gave a good account of themselves this season, and I’m sure both will be back stronger next season - with title ambitions!

In Division Two, Crown B were crowned champions after picking up six points this week from their games in hand over their title rivals.

They had two games against Treehouse B, which they won by the same scoreline. But were pegged back by Picasso’s A who, with that win, might just have done enough to secure the second automatic promotion spot.

They could have secured it but for dropping points in Monday’s catch-up game against Bluebell B. Picasso’s played well, but were matched by the team from Los Cristianos, who secured a creditable draw.

Fran and her Picasso’s team knew they needed to win against Crown B on Tuesday or lose second spot to Rewind Rewired. Fortunately, they bought their A game with them and, in a close contest, just did enough to edge the win.

L

F

A

+- PTS

278 -196 9

They are now sweating on the final game of the season, between Rewind Rewired and Crown B. If Rewind can win, they will secure second spot. But lose and Picasso’s A will be runners-up.

This Tuesday it´s the semi-finals of the Tenerife Pool Tables Plates. Both matches are at Palms Sports Bar and it should be a fine night.

On table one, Rewind Rewired will fancy a giant-killing over topflight Gaffers B. Rewired have been taking apart Division Two for fun, but their opponents are quietly confident.

They beat Tenerife Hammers A last week on merit, so Rewind will not scare them.

They also made the Plate final last season, so they have the pedigree.

On table two, Picasso’s have nothing to lose against Dreamers A. The Torviscas team can blow hot and cold. However, when they are on the bunny, they can give anyone a game, as Crown B will testify.

That said, Dreamers A have had a fine season and will see a Plate final as a just reward for their efforts.

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1st April - 7th April 2016

53 CW

Sanchez holds the key Osasuna 0 CD Tenerife 0

By Roscoe ANOTHER trip to the mainland brought another point and another clean sheet. The fans could get use to this!

Jose Marti has certainly got the defence at the top of their game because they never looked like conceding against an Osasuna side who normally find a way to goal.

This shut-out made it four straight cleansheets and they have leaked just four goals in eight matches. That is top drawer - and promotion-winning form!

Especially when

you consider that defence has never been Tenerife´s strong point.

The key at the moment is in the middle. Carlos Ruiz is fast-heading towards legendary status at the club, but the man alongside him is getting the plaudits right now.

German Sanchez is fast-growing into the role and, recently, it has been easy to forget that it’s his first season at this level.

Last weekend he snuffed out the Osasuna attack with ease, and he said how much he was enjoying his football.

“When I first started, it was easy to see it was a little different,” he recalled. “But now I have a great understanding with Carlos. The team spirit is great and it’s

been getting better.

“The clean-sheets are generating confidence.

We are a team who attack a lot, and, if we keep a clean-sheet, it’s obviously easier to win!”

The draw with Osasuna keeps Tenerife just five points from the play-offs, and German says the players are eyeing a promotion charge, adding: “That is the goal. It is something we think we can do.”

Club captain Suso agreed, saying: “It would be disappointing not to get to the playoffs. We are trying to get to sixth spot.

“We know the first 10 games were not good, and that’s made it hard, but we are close now.

Osasuna was a decent point and showed we

can tough it out. We are going well now - six without a defeat and four games without conceding a goal.

“Last year we did well at home, but then it was hard to get points away.

This season, we are doing it away and now need to win at home.”

Suso is spot-on. Tenerife will need to remain unbeaten at home, and nick the odd away win, to make the post-season action.

Position

This weekend, Lugo come to Santa Cruz, and Suso is playing a few mind games. “They are a few points above us, but we are not worried about Lugo,” he said.

“We are just thinking of our own game and what we can do. The opposition? We are just going to do what we do.”

Lugo’s arrival brings back former favourite Iriome, who is relishing the trip. “Tenerife is my Points

PLD

club and my home,” he said. “I always get a tingle at the Heliodoro.

“I will see my friends and my family. But I am a Lugo player and we are doing very well.

I signed for two years at the start of my time here and I am happy I did.”

Iriome has done well for Lugo, but he will pull on a CDT jersey again. And there’s every chance it will be this August.

Won

Draw

Lost

F

A

1

CD Leganés

54

31

14

12

5

42

23

2

Deportivo Alavés

53

31

15

8

8

35

28

3

Gimnàstic de Tarragona

51

31

13

12

6

41

30

4

Real Oviedo

49

31

13

10

8

44

35

5

Club Atlético Osasuna

47

31

13

8

10

34

33

6

Córdoba CF

47

31

14

5

12

42

41

7

Real Zaragoza

46

31

12

10

9

33

28

8

CD Lugo

46

31

11

13

7

36

35

9

AD Alcorcón

45

31

12

9

10

33

33

10

Elche CF

45

31

11

12

8

28

31

11

Girona FC

44

31

11

11

9

35

25

12

CD Mirandés

44

31

11

11

9

48

39

13

Real Valladolid CF

44

31

11

11

9

38

33

14

CD Tenerife

42

31

10

12

9

35

35

15

CD Numancia de Soria

39

31

8

15

8

40

38

16

RCD Mallorca

35

31

8

11

12

27

35

17

SD Ponferradina

35

31

9

8

14

31

40

18

SD Huesca

33

31

7

12

12

30

36

19

UD Almería

32

31

6

14

11

28

37

20

Albacete Balompié

29

31

7

8

16

31

45

21

UE Llagostera

28

31

8

4

19

30

43

22

Athletic Club B

24

31

6

6

19

23

41

Tennis event a smash hit TENERIFE Tennis Academy held its 12th tournament over the Easter weekend at the group’s Chayofa headquarters, attracting players from every part of Tenerife and other Canary Islands.

Everyone had a superb time, and there were some spectacular matches in what was again hailed as an impressive event.

The pressure and standard of competi-

tion was extreme, especially during Sunday’s final day.

Winners of the junior categories were home players Javier Cueto Ramos, who beat Alvaro Arce 6-4, 3-6, 6-2, and Mila Saric, who took the girls’ prize with a 6-4, 6-3 win over Marta Perez.

Winners in other categories were: Laura Tapia, Daniil Makhorin, Lara Velasco, Javier Garcia Del Rey, Maria Salome, Elijah Falconbridge, Luis Tapia and Gritti Mirella.

The organisers thank everyone for their participation and support!

CW 54

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Sport

1st April - 7th April 2016

Villa can wave farewell real chance of a top-four finish. With no losses in the last five games, they are in fine form and will be looking to continue in that vein. Without a little mid-season dip, they could have been challenging at the top.

Palace started the season really well, but have gone backwards since. They have taken just two points from the last 10 games, which has dragged them towards the bottom three. If any of the basement clubs put a decent run together, they could find themselves in even more trouble.

Prediction: Home win Last season: 1-3

By Adi Benson WITH just a handful of games remaining, we are now really into the final furlong of what has been an interesting Premier League season.

Aston Villa v Chelsea

Villa have parted company with a manager for the second time this season, but Remi Garde had a thankless task when he arrived at the club.

He was unable to move them away from the relegation zone and they sit rock-bottom, 12 points from safety.

Their next appointment will surely be a manager with Championship experience.

Chelsea are in midtable and they haven’t lost in 10 games, though drawing six, which means they are unlikely to sneak into a Europa League spot. It is going to be a summer of rebuilding at the club for whoever takes on the manager’s job, but with no European football, it won’t be easy.

Prediction: Away win Last season: 1-2

Arsenal v Watford

Arsenal’s title bid is over for another season as they are 11 points behind the league leaders. Surely, the board must now be considering a managerial change to freshen things up, or have they really become happy with a top-four finish every year - and the occasional cup?

Watford have had a real up-and-down season and their form has spluttered to a halt in recent games.

But they will be happy as they have avoided a relegation battle and can look forward to another season of Premier League football.

They need to keep hold of Ighalo and Deeney for next

season, or it could be a completely different story.

Prediction: Home win Last season: N/A

Bournemouth v Man City

The Cherries, with three wins from their last four games, have moved to within two points of the magical 40-point total which guarantees their survival at this level.

They lost key players to long-term injuries early in the season and they struggled for a while.

But Eddie Howe has managed them well and done a great job.

Man City have been in poor form, which has seen them drop to fourth spot and put them in real danger of missing out on a Champions League spot. They need to turn this around and will see this game as an opportunity to do just that and ease the pressure they are currently under. Pep Guardiola must be wondering what he is taking on!

Prediction: Away win Last season: N/A

Norwich v Newcastle

Norwich could really boost their survival chances with a win.

They won their last fixture to move out of the bottom three, and it is vital they continue that winning streak.

Defeat would see their opponents move on to the same points total, although they have a better goal difference.

If Newcastle are to stay up, they need to

start winning games - and this one is an absolute necessity.

Lose and Norwich will move six points clear of them. Benitez is an astute coach who knows how to set teams up to get results, so this will be a real test of his ability. Can he become a Tyneside hero?

Prediction: Draw Last season: N/A

Stoke v Swansea

Stoke are still in with a chance of grabbing a European place, and certainly a top-10 finish, as they look to continue a decent run. They are strong at home, which is where they have taken the majority of points this season. This will be seen as another winnable game.

Swansea were in real relegation danger at one point, but they’ve managed to distance themselves from the bottom three in recent matches. A managerial change helped and, if the gossip columns are to be believed, another one is planned for the summer, with Brendan Rodgers tipped to make a return to the Liberty stadium.

Prediction: Home win Last season: 2-1

Sunderland v West Bromwich

Sunderland have drawn their last three games, which has not really helped their relegation battle. But with two of their rivals playing each other this weekend, a win could

see them move out of the bottom three.

Jermain Defoe has been scoring the goals for them, and they will be hoping for a few more.

West Brom are in midtable and the fans are unhappy with the Tony Pulis style of football.

But if they can achieve a top-10 finish, I am not sure what they will have to complain about.

It is not pretty but it’s effective, and he was bought in to steady the ship, which he has achieved.

Prediction: Draw Last season: 0-0

Liverpool v Spurs

Liverpool’s form has been patchy in recent games, but they always seem to pull a

performance out of the bag when they play the bigger teams. They still have European hopes and, with games in hand of their rivals, they are in with a chance - but only if they can add to their points tally Spurs are five points behind league leaders Leicester and know they cannot afford any slip-ups. This will be a big test for their title credentials and it is imperative they take all three points.

Prediction: Draw Last season: 3-2

West Ham v Crystal Palace

West Ham are snapping at the heels of Manchester City in fifth spot and are in with a

Leicester v Southampton

With Spurs playing the previous day, Leicester have a slight advantage in knowing their result.

That doesn’t mean they can take this game any more lightly. They need to keep going and try not to be distracted.

Another victory will take them a step closer to the title in what has been an amazing season. Saints are just four points from fourth spot and will be looking for another win in the hope of teams above them dropping points, to allow them to bridge the gap. They need to improve their away form, though, as they have struggled on their travels this season.

Prediction: Draw Last season: 2-0

Man Utd v Everton

A derby win against bitter rivals Man City last time out saw United move to within a point of the Champions League places and gave them a huge confidence boost.

They will try to use that momentum to pick up another three points in this game, but they face tough opponents.

Everton have not been in great form, but they always seem to do well against United.

Lukaku is in good form, scoring goals, and his size and style will cause the United defence problems. If they can get a win here, a spot in the top half of the table is still possible.

Prediction: Away win Last season: 2-1

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