cAnDy ISSUE NINE APRIL/MAY
CONTRIBUTORS
contributors
Allison Tovey Founder and Editor
Arianna May Jamie VeZolles The Electrick Girls Verity Smiley-Jones Amy Ormsby Kaitlyn Tiffany Ella Sab Sascha G Anna Sewalson Céline Floyd Alexa Perruccio
TABLE OF CONTENTS toc
Arianna May page 4 Jamie VeZolles: Honey, It’s A Zoo Out There page 10 Our Interview With The Electrick Girls page 18 Allison Tovey: Red Ants page 22 Verity Smiley-Jones: Intimacy Series page 30 Amy Ormsby page 36 Kaitlyn Tiffany: Little Girl Lost page 38 Allison Tovey: Lost Highway Playlist page 46 Ella Sab | page 48 Arianna May | page 54 Sascha G: When The Girl Decides To Do Art page 57 Allison Tovey: Build Your Own Religion page 58 Kaitlyn Tiffany: Sick Sad World page 60 Céline Floyd page 66 Alexa Perruccio page 70 Anna Sewalson: What’s In The Books Today? page 76 Allison Tovey: Darkness On The Edge Of Town page 78
Ariana
Honey It’s A Zoo Out There... Jamie So I’ll Just Stay In My Backyard Jamie VeZolles
This issue we got to talk to super-cool girl collective, the Electrick Girls. Hope, Lola, Felicity, and Nicole are set out to redefine riot grrrl culture as a more inclusive space for girls of color. You can find their website electrickgirls.wordpress.com where they describe their mission as, “spreading intersectional feminism, helping each other survive teenagehood, and changing the world!” We’re so excited to see where these unstoppable girls go next. ⚡️⚡ ️ ⚡️ ⚡️ ⚡️ ⚡️ ⚡️ ⚡️ ⚡️ ⚡️ ⚡️ ⚡️
an interview with the
Tell us a little about who you (the core four members) are and how you met each other Hope: I'm a queer 13 year old Bengali and Italian girl from Vermont. I’m really into social justice! I’d always wanted to start a collective like this, but I’d always let fear get to the best of me. When Lola DM’ed us all with her idea, it was an immediate yes. Lola: I'm a 14-year-old artist of color from Connecticut. I met all of the girls on the Internet. I had worked with Felicity before, and I followed Nicole and Hope on Instagram. I contacted them with the idea of starting a movement for young punk girls. Felicity: I’m 15-years-old, soon to be 16. I love to draw, read, and especially write my heart out. I met the girls in a DM that Lola put us in(I’ve known Lola for a while and have joined her in a magazine before EG) and when she asked all of us to start a group of punk, (feminist) activists I was so intrigued I couldn’t say no. Nicole: I’m a queer 14 year old girl from Peru who loves cinema. I met the girls when Lola put us in a DM group but I’ve known her since 2014. I’ve always considered Lola one of the coolest persons on the internet and when she included me into the Electrick Girls I was super excited!
How did you come to develop the idea for The Electrick Girls? Lola: I was really inspired by the Riot Grrrl movement. After watching the Punk Singer, I felt like there needed to be a movement for all the girls of color that weren't given recognition in this era and for the girls of color who felt that Punk Culture wasn't for them because punks of color aren't represented enough. I had like Nirvana and The Doors at a very young age, and I knew that it made me an oddity in my community because I was a black girl listening to “white music�. But the truth is Punk wouldn't even exist without the African Americans who invented Rock and Metal. I knew that our generation needed a group of radical teenage girls of color who listen to alternative music and have angst and want to rebel. I contacted all the girls on Instagram to ask if they'd be interested and Electrick Girls started from there.
What was the inspiration for starting this platform? Hope: Rad feminists like Kathleen Hanna who use art forms like music and zines to protest inequality. Just seeing black punk girls on the Internet (or on the street if I'm lucky!) is motivation. My inspiration is to reclaim a culture that I, and many other colored girls, are alienated from today.
What are some of your plans for the future of The Electrick Girls? Nicole: This year we're looking forward selling zines, t-shirts, bracelets, and much more. We definitely want to reach out to more girls and spread the word about our movement, and we're brewing some cool plans of empowering young feminists and giving them a platform to express themselves.
How can somebody get involved with The Electrick Girls? Felicity: Our fellow Electrick girls can send in submissions, information is on our website ElectrickGirls.wordpress.com. And they can also tag #ElectrickGirl in their art, writing, or whatever they wanna show on Instagram or Tumblr! Other inquiries and questions can be sent to our email, electrickgirlz@gmail.com. We love to have more and more girls get involved with us, it lets us know the movement is growing!
Me-‐ Red Ants
Red Ants By Allison Tovey
“My childhood was elegant homes, milkman, building backyard forts, skies, picket fences, green grass, as it’s supposed to be. But on the oozing out– some black, some yellow ants crawling all over it. I discovered at this beautiful world, there are always
tree lined streets, the droning airplanes, blue cherry trees. Middle America cherry tree there’s this pitch and millions of red that if one looks closer red ants underneath.�
- David Lynch
Verity
Touch by Verity Smiley-Jones
art by Amy Ormsby
She Found Herself In a Ghost World: The Story of a Lost Little Girl Who Decided to Take Control of Her Life By Kaitlyn Tiffany Like many teens trapped in suburbia, I’ve had the tendency to get lost among the perfectly cut grass and white picket fences; unsure about my reality and confused about the future. This past year has been a very informative and important one, not for one good or bad reason, but I’m grateful that it happened, regardless of all the tears and laughter. I’m here today to tell all of you that feeling lost is okay, whether that means you don’t know what you want to do after high school, your sexuality, your moral/political beliefs, or simply who you are inside; it’s ok. I have been on that side throughout my life and have been confused about each and every one of those things, but as of today I can confidentially say that I have an answer for all of them.
1.) What do you want to do after high school? When I began high school, I honestly wanted to be in the movie industry, whether that meant being a director, a set designer, an editor, you name it, I wanted to do it. This idea had been brewing for years prior because films had always been my escape and because at the time I really didn’t think I had any future or passion in other fields, but that all changed this year. Junior year started off rocky (or so I though) because one of my classes had to be changed. I had signed up for video/media but got changed to Journalism due to a lack of space in the other class. Besides my brief passages on this zine and a couple failed blog attempts, I didn’t have much experience with people reading my work.
Through taking this class I learned to LOVE writing more than ever and even when I was assigned something I didn’t care about I still enjoyed the whole process. I am going to be a section editor next year and I’m very excited about the future. In regards to the question at hand, I have decided to peruse a career in Psychology, because this year I also realized how much I want to listen to others and really understand how the mind works, because the inner machinations of mine are an enigma. So if any of you are feeling confused, just know that it’s ok to change your mind, there will be many things (like taking a film studies class) that will show you how much you do and do not care about certain things. It might come to you right now or in a couple years; it doesn’t matter how long it takes because it lies deep inside you and will flourish eventually.
2.) What is your sexuality? Long story short, I have identified as straight for my entire life because I thought it was the only way I should be (family/religious pressure) and I convinced myself that it was who I was. Over the past few months I have really looked deep inside myself to find how I truly feel, which is that I dig girls (more than guys, but I’m not going to close that off completely just yet) and even though I don’t want to label myself, technically I am bisexual. I think it is total fine to identify with a sexuality and bisexual individuals are not confused (and neither am I). One day I might come to the realization that I only like girls, but as of today I can 100% say that I am sexually attracted to both, and there is nothing wrong with that.
3.) What are my moral/political beliefs? I am a democrat/green party and I stand by pretty much everything both parties stand for, but above all else I believe in myself. I feel that we should be taking social, environmental, and domestic issues seriously and BERNIE 2016 is the way to go. I feel this way not because I’m a crazy, delusional millennial, I feel this way because he is honest, genuine, and cares about the American people, yes other candidates claim that, but I actually believe him. Even birds like him. In regards to moral beliefs, I just follow where my spirituality takes me. I believe in love, nature, life, and the universe. I love to mediate and crystals are so helpful. Honestly, just do what works for you and don’t follow any religion unless it’s what YOU believe (you do you).
4.) Who are you on the inside? For far too long, I have let people influence, control, and hurt me. I have let people completely walk all over me and in the process got lost in my own mind. I have been very confused this year with a toxic relationships that I let into my life…as of today, in this moment, I have gotten rid of everyone that I doesn’t serve me. Right away this may seem selfish, but for someone who only cared about others needs and put others before themselves almost all of the time, this is ground breaking. Caring about yourself and “getting rid of relationships” is NOT a bad thing. This is probably the third time I have done something like this in my life and it’s important that ALL OF US look deep inside and shed the people that take advantage of us.
As the seasons change and the flowers begin to bloom again, I finally know who I am. This is the most honest version of myself that has been locked away for far too long. I am a feminist (+ I don’t need a platform to express my opinions), I am creative (+ I only need to make art for myself), I am attracted to women (+ some men), I am a vegan (+ going strong), I have a passion for people (+ for writing), and I love this planet (+ I know I can help save it). I hope in time you all can find yourselves as well, because you will love to meet them. XOXO, Kaitlyn
Lost Little Girl Playlist I Love You But I’m Lost // Sharon Van Etten White Rabbit // Jefferson Airplane Dreams // Fleetwood Mac Dazed And Confused // Led Zeppelin You’re Lost Little Girl // The Doors Where Is My Mind? // Pixies Hide And Seek // Imogen Heap Lost Cause // Beck Society // Eddie Vedder Dancing Barefoot // Patti Smith
Lost Highway
Temptation // new order This Magic Moment // Lou Reed 2000 Man // The Rolling Stones This Time tomorrow // the kinks
Spirit in the sky // norman greenbaum This is the day // the the Sweet emotion // aerosmith Tiny Dancer // Elton John Photo By Ella Sab
Playlist By Allison Tovey
Ella Sab
Arianna May
Sascha
When The Girl Decides To Do Art By Sascha G. When the girl decides to do art. She's a poser, a wanna be, a try hard or the tumblr hoe. We force her to create a message for her art, that fits best to us. We dismantle her from the riot grrrl artform. She's a girl, petite, pretty and sweet talking. She can't get angry. She can't show her sadness or aggression. She's a girl. When the girl decides to do art, why do we refurbish her into our perfect artist, persuading our perfect messages? Let her get angry, let her get aggressive, let her cry, let her yell and scream, take up space and spit. Let her be her, in her truest form. Art isn't supposed to fit everyone and art is not perfect nor is it always peaceful. Art is gross. Art is scary. Art is beautiful. Art is different. So why, if people supposedly appreciate and understand art, do they break down the artist if she's a girl?
SICK SA Time is meaningless. Humans in society are slaves to clock…tick tock, tick tock, only so they can get through the hour, day, week, or year…in order to get money, a certificate, or retirement. This endless cycle that we put ourselves in…needs to stop. We have the power to make the most of this life, but only if we chose to do so. Every “day” is an opportunity to do something great, although it is important to remember that life doesn’t begin and end when we fall asleep. Life is in continuous motion, all around the world, people are constantly being born and taking their last breath. Our brief time on this earth should not be spent staring at our phones, comparing ourselves to others, or caring about “tradition”/what people think of us. Life should be spent dancing barefoot…breathing in warm summer air…loving others regardless of age or gender…creating something new, like an art piece or a beautiful smile…and adding knowledge to this world for the future, as well as learning from the past. Death has been on recently, due to the back funerals that I one in April and one
my mind back to attended, in May.
Going to them did make me sad, but because I know that they are now free from pain which is all I could ever want, but they did however remind me how important it is to live without regrets. I recently turned seventeen, which is a landmark age for me. My sixteenth year on this planet was one for the scribes to tell, I grew so much as a person and it is hard to even describe how much these twelve months have meant to me. Looking back to where I was just 365 days ago…it’s utterly remarkable to see the difference. I am grown into my body more (which I never thought was possible), I expanded the horizons of my mind, I gained new interests, and most importantly…I enhanced my character. Looking at myself in the mirror with the glow of my red heart string lights hitting my skin, gazing at all the books, movies, records, and boxes of crayons that I have collected over the past year, and scrolling through my old photos, all give me a sense of nostalgia, along with pride for how far I’ve truly come.
Death is a natural thing…We should not fear it, Although we cannot forget that in the end, we are all merely mortal.
D WORLD Another thing that has been on my mind is the idea of “adventure” and the meaning of life. I recently read Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer (a story about the strange, marvelous, and unfortunate journey of Chris McCandless), along with revisiting the 2007 indie film. Reading this story almost brought me to tears and inspired me, while also frightened me. Fun Fact: My AP Lang teacher actually had dinner and still corresponds with his sister, Carine McCandless. My teacher is a woman of great intelligence and has helped me so much this past year. She once told our class that we should cherish our time after high school instead of wasting it, because one of her biggest regrets in life is that she did not explore the world early on. While McCandless’ trip did end with him losing his life (*spoiler alert*), his utter resilience and determination to break away from the beaten path is something to admire. I also re-watched Wild dir. Jean-Marc Vallee this month (along with neglecting to read past the first chapter), which gave me a more hopeful and relatable perspective. Learning about both of these stories has given me a new outlook on life.
I still am planning to go to college right after high school, but I know now how important it is to live life to the fullest, by setting priorities. Yes, school IS important, but so is your happiness/mental health (it truly should be your #1). Yes, grades DO matter, but so does your memories and experiences on this Earth. We should all choose the path of success, but in order to reach the destination, we must enjoy the journey. Those who live life with enjoyment and pleasure are truly successful. “So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man's living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.” - Christopher McCandless
BY KAITLYN
TIFFANY
This month I learned the importance of spending your time wisely. These can be little things like taking a lavender bath, meditating, watching your favorite movie, drawing a picture, going out with your friends/family, or doing something helpful for your community. We should be spending our days with smiles on our faces, while caring no regrets on our backs. Although I want you all to know that I am not encouraging suppressing feelings, sadness and anger are valid emotions just like any other and need to be expressed every once and awhile, but we must at least try to be happy (even a little effort makes all the difference).
Here are some of my favorite movies and songs about LIFE and DEATH
Now and Then (1995) dir. Lesli Linka Glatter “This wistful drama is set in the summer of 1970 and follows the adventures of four 12-yearold girls as they attempt to solve a murder.”
Always remember: Don’t track your life in days, count the moments, sunsets, and joyrides. TODAY was once your future and tomorrow will one day be your past, don’t spend too much time thinking about wither one. Congrats to those who are graduating! Just remember that this is not the end, this is just one chapter in your life and you have so much beautiful things ahead of you. For my fellow high schoolers and college goers, it will be over before we know it! XOXO Kaitlyn
The Darjeeling Limited (2007) dir. Wes Anderson “Three brothers re-forging family bonds. The eldest, hopes to reconnect with his two younger siblings by taking them on a train trip across the vibrant and sensual landscape of India.”
“Harold, the 20-year-old son of a wealthy, neglectful woman, tries to gain attention for himself with various hilariously staged "suicides." Obsessed with death, Harold meets a like-minded 79-yearold woman named Maude.” Rent (2005) dir. Chris Columbus “In New York's East Village, a group of bohemians struggle to express themselves through their art and strive for success and acceptance while enduring the obstacles of poverty, illness and the AIDS epidemic.”
Boyhood (2014) dir. Richard Linklater “Filmed over 12 years with the same cast, a groundbreaking story of growing up as seen through the eyes of a child named Mason (Ellar Coltrane), who literally grows up on screen before our eyes.”
One True Thing (1998) dir. Carl Franklin “The true story of a woman who is forced to put her life on hold in order to care for her mother who is dying of cancer.
Cobain: Montage of Heck (2015) dir. Brett Morgen “An authorized documentary on the late musician Kurt Cobain, from his early days in Aberdeen, Washington to his success and downfall with the grunge band Nirvana.”
Harold and Maude (1971) dir. Hal Ashby
The End of the Tour (2015) dir. James Ponsoldt “The story of the five-day interview between Rolling Stone reporter (and novelist) David Lipsky (Jesse Eisenberg) and acclaimed novelist David Foster Wallace (Jason Segel), which took place right after the 1996 publication of Wallace's groundbreaking epic novel, Infinite Jest.”
Seeking a Friend for the End of the World (2012) dir. Lorene Scafaria “In New York City, a news report is broadcast informing the world that a mission to stop an incoming asteroid has failed, and that the asteroid will make impact in three weeks, destroying all life on Earth.”
L I F E A N D D E A T H Dog Days Are Over // Florence + The Machine Dancing Barefoot // Patti Smith The Origin Of Love // Hedwig And The Angry Inch Good Day // The Kinks Both Sides Now // Joni Mitchell If You Want To Sing Out, Sing Out // Cat Stevens Imagine // John Lennon Wild Horses // The Rolling Stones Seven Wonders // Fleetwood Mac Send Me On My Way // Rusted Root
If You Had Stayed Céline Floyd
The Comfort of High School‌ High School generally has a bad rep among everyone. Students are usually anxious to graduate, escaping from early mornings, late nights, bad break ups, acne, authority... the list goes on. For me high school will always have a special place in my heart (yes I know that sounds lame). After graduating I realized there's some sort of comfort behind high school. There was so much going on at school that it acted as a distraction for most of my problems. I was to caught up with my friends, school work and activities to worry about everything disastrous going on at home. That all kind of went away after I graduated and sadly developed depression. I miss feeling safe in secure in my high school routine. Things were established for me; my classes were assigned and that was it. I didn't have to pay over $500 classes and not be able to afford my textbooks. I miss knowing everyone. Like Enid from "Ghost World" (2001), I also had a "Dennis", that I would never see again. It's unnerving not having those familiar faces around me. I remember the night I graduated. On the drive home from the prolonged ceremony, I rolled down the window, stuck my head out displaying my cap and tassel, presenting to the world it's newest and happiest graduate. Music filled our car's stereo and the wind was blowing through my hair.
Waves of adrenaline and excitement washed over me, but then I began to taste a bit of melancholy. I slid back into my seat, starting to think about everything that comes along with college: was I going to able to afford everything? Would I make friends? Was I smart enough? Eventually the high of excitement came back to me and I had a great night. Looking at it now, entering college was like having the rug pulled from under me. I had to start from scratch. I guess you can call that growing up, which I have much to do of. Things are a little rough now; still dealing with depression and anxiety, but things are better then they were when I first started school. What I'm trying to say or ramble about is although high school was really annoying and a bit of a bummer, I actually kind of enjoyed it and even appreciate it. If you're still in high school make the most out of it. Even if that means sitting in the smelly cafeteria, hanging out in your favorite classroom, going to lame school functions: football games, winter formal, prom... enjoy it. Because those 4 years may seem long and dreadful from the perspective of a freshman, but those 8 semesters go by extremely fast. For those of you who are in college, keep up the good work! It's hard, but I'm sure it'll be worth it for us in the end.
by Alexa Perruccio
Alexa • review
WHAT S IN THE BOOKS TODAY? BY ANNA
SEWALSON
When working as an employee at my local library, you would think it is pretty relaxing during my shifts. Some days its quite the opposite. Aside from the difficult visitors, some of the books, CD’s, and movies get returned in pretty bad condition. Sometimes they are sticky, with no distinct smell to decide what it is. Then there are books that are oily on the outside covers, and they smell like really bad old lady perfume. When those kinds appear, my hands smell like that all day long. It becomes really nauseating. I also find things inside the pages of the countless books. One time I found a note that said that a woman had to go to the airport at 1:30 pm, though I have no picture representation of it shown.
The first photo I have is of a laminated newspaper article that was being used as a bookmark. It was describing Prince William and Duchess Kate, and Prince George on Easter. In scrawled penmanship, it reads a date: April 21, 2014. Was this person obsessed with the royal family? Did they know everything about their family?
The next thing I found was a Polaroid photo, along with an appointment card to a Therapists office. The Polaroid was of a young boy, and on his little hat was the Nebraska Huskers logo. On the back of the appointment card was a date- it was five days away from when I found it. Did see go to therapy because the lost her son, the boy in the photo? Was that the only photo left of him in his youth? And was she left mentally corrupt because of whatever happened to her son? Or, did she just find the photo on the ground, and what made her use it as a book mark?
The last, and most recent thing I've found used as a bookmark at my library is a green Menards sale display card that is advertising for a Frogs Garden Fountain. On the back of it is a list of characteristics and their ratings. I found it in a book about 'being a better you'. I skimmed through it and there was a chart and quiz inside of what your main personality is. I’m guessing she (its feminine penmanship) wrote her results on the back. How did she get that card in the first place? Did she rip it off a display and run or by the fountain? Did she have bad self esteem and needed to be reassured? I don't think I will ever find the answers to my questions. Everyday, as people return their books, a few of them will leave their private belongings in between the pages. I will discover them and ponder their owners positions and pasts. In conclusion, we never know what we leave behind for others to find. I will never know what I'm going to discover next, which will unlock a new story and mystery. Â
Me There’s a darkness on the edge of town
There’s A Darkness On The Edge Of Town playlist In •Heaven // eraserhead soundtrack Can we go inside now // blood orange Cherry // chromatics Night time, my time // sky ferreira Yulia // princess chelsea Ghost of love // david lynch In dreams // Roy Orbison Lovers never say goodbye // the flamingos Blue velvet // lana del rey Twin peaks theme // angelo badalamenti
Playlist and photo by Allison tovey
Watercolor, glitter, and confetti-‐ think backgrounds in issue three of Cherry. Thank you so much for Pink square with the Thank You’s and contributor Instagram names reading the ninth issue
of The Candy Zine!!
Follow this issue’s lovely contributors on Instagram Allison Tovey @suzybish0p Arianna May @filthywitch Jamie VeZolles @jamievezolles The Electrick Girls @electrickgirls Verity Smiley-Jones @veritysmileyjones Amy Ormsby @amy_ormsby Ella Sab @ellasabo Sascha G @cerezaglazerr Céline Floyd @celflow Alexa Perruccio @lexcreeps Anna Sewalson @boohoogrrrl