DEIDRE & JUAN’YA

Credit : Belle Rouge Photography

Q. How did you and your spouse meet? A. We met at church. Q. What made you realize that this was the person you wanted to marry, and this was the one you wanted to be with for the rest of your life? A. DP- Well, for me, I wasn’t looking for anything. I was focused on myself and trying to love me again. He was a true friend first and I have never had anything this real in my life. So, knowing that he’s my friend and the way he wanted to see me grow and heal from such a hurtful place, I knew I needed him to be in my life.

A. JG- I was used to dating a certain type of female. But when I met Deidre, she was different. She was everything I didn’t know I was looking for. We just immediately clicked. She was a country girl; I was a country boy. We connected on levels that I had never connected on with any female I had ever dated before…

or I have even met for that matter. Q. What was one of the hardest experiences that you and your spouse had to go through? How did it make the relationship stronger? A. DP- Well, well, well. Although we met at church, that’s the place I got hurt the most. He holds a position there so to try and be his partner in a place where I don’t feel safe was and is still very hard. We dealt with the lack of support from his family, who goes to the church as well. With me being me, I always had love for them but when we started to date, the tables turn and so did people and that was just something I, still to this day, has always battled because it made me feel unwanted and unappreciated. I never had to go through this with anyone. I’m the one folks want their son to marry! LOL. But I guess why we’re still together is because he made it known that I’m not going anywhere, and he stood by me ten toes down.

A. JG- On one note it was family and on the other it was my spouse. For a great period of time, where I was fighting my family for my spouse, I had to fight my spouse to try and prove that I would fight for her like I said I would. And for a season where I thought it would draw us closer, more than anything it pulled us apart. During that season of not having my spouse with me and holding the position that I have, at times I questioned a lot of things and still kind of do. Q. Describe the love, the passion that you have for your spouse? A. DP- It’s child-like. Like I feel like a princess when I’m with him. Like if I don’t talk to him for a certain amount of time, I feel empty. The love I have for this man is so unusual because I haven’t given or thought I could love anyone this deep before. Regardless of all the hell that can go on in a relationship, the way he loves me makes me feel like royalty and how can I let that go un-noticed. I love him like chocolate and peanut butter because just like Reese’s, we are just meant for each other. (That’s our favorite candy by the way). I’m such a cornball!!! LOL

“...when we started to date, it was for a purpose. The ultimate goal for both of us was to be married and break generational curses while building generational wealth.“

Credit : Ariel Viees Photography

A. JG- The best way to describe our relationship, it just works. It’s complicated yet simple. We come from the same background, same beliefs and same country roots. It’s different, because when you come from the same upbringing, everyone won’t work for you. When you get into relationships with people that don’t have that in common so to have someone who shares the same morals and values and that can relate to you works for Deidre and I. Q. What do you think is the difference between being in a relationship and being engaged? A. DP- Well for one, you know what you’re doing. You know what you want. I think what works for me and my fiancé is that we are old school. So, when we started to date, it was for a purpose. The ultimate goal for both of us was to be married and break generational curses while building generational wealth. I think today’s society is a mess. Like priorities, values and morals are just gone but I’m thankful I have a God-fearing man who saw fit to ask me to be his wife because we share this same mindset.

A. JG- The difference is the dimensions change. Your arguments change, your mindset changes. Not for the worse but for the best. Because you’re finding out how to merge. What works for her, what works for you, what works for you’ll. Things you really don’t like and things that you really do like. For instance, who’s the spender vs. who’s the budgeter, who’s the cook, who’s the taste tester. And you have to remember, that it’s you all against the situation, not you all against each other because it’s all a part of the two becoming one. Q. How long do you think someone should date before they get married? A. DP- I think you know when you want someone, you just have to let go of any outside distractions. I know couples who’ve been married for 80 years and they only dated for three months and I know couples who dated for 4 years and barely made it down the aisle. You have to be equally yoked and you have to know that the person is GOD SENT, not someone YOU want but someone YOU NEED. A. JG- Until you know. There could be no measure of time to determine when you will know. As you date, you begin to remove layers from past relationships, scars, and wounds and there could be no gage to determine the length of time when you KNOW. Q. Do you think that people need a marriage counselor before marriage? A. Yes, we believe in pre-marital counseling. But different strokes for different folks. Q. What do you think is the definition of Love? A. DP- I can use the WORD on this one. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 New International Version (NIV)4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

A. JG- Love doesn’t have a definition. Men’s version of love equals respect. Women’s definition goes into the emotional aspect. It’s complicated. You can’t say “this is love”. You can say what it looks like. You can’t put a definition of love, but you do know what it’s not because that’s defined by different experiences. Q. Describe what you think a perfect date would be for your spouse? A. DP- For my fiancé’, I try to listen on what he likes. It’s not about what I think we should do but what he likes. For his birthday, I took him to the gun range. He’s been talking about getting a gun and all these stories of his military training, so I took him. I thought he really enjoyed it. But we’re both big kids, we like to explore and have fun…on a budget LOL

A. JG- Time well spent. No social media, no phones just intimate time uninterrupted. Q. Give some advice or inspiration for other couples? A. DP- Well I would like to really say to the ladies, be patient. I think the more I see on social media it’s like “Who hurt you”. No man wants a desperate, beat up woman. He needs to see that you are who you are without broadcasting you are single in every post. Then be careful how you treat people. If you want real love, you must know how to show it.

A. JG- Remember it’s not you and your spouse, when you have an issue or a situation. It’s you and your spouse against the issue or the situation.