MONIQUE & TONY

“...Keep your business, “your business”! “

Q. How did you and your spouse meet?

A. We met at work. Q. What made you realize this was the person you wanted to marry and spend the rest of your life?

A. MW- I can’t say there was a specific day. There were several life altering situations that came into my life while we we’re dating, and my husband tony was there every step of the way before we were married.

TW- One day I got off work and I wasn’t feeling good. Monique suggested to get some Pepto and brought it to me. That was the day I told her “You are the one”!

Q. What was one of the hardest experiences you and yourspouse had to go through? How did it make the relationship stronger?

A. MW- One of the hardest experiences was being without a home. My husband stood right by my side through it all.

Nothing he did for us was by obligation. Everything he did was because he wanted to with 5 children in tow! Many people make references to being without a home and how they would still be together.

But, we actually lived through it without a legally binding document! TW- The time we were homeless this experience was eye opening and put a battery in my back to go harder for “my family” even though the relationship was still fresh.

Q. Describe the love, the passion you have for your spouse?

A. MW- The love I have for my husband is indescribable. I do not onlyhave a husband, but a friend. Tony allows me to be free, goofy and all. He operates on “No Judgement” completely and unconditional, not to say he agrees with everything I say or do... (That’s a topic for another day) But, I can just be myself.

TW- The love and passion comes from trust. I have never put my trust in other women besides “Momdukes”. It was very hard for me to trust anyone and allow myself to be vulnerable. She is one the smartest people I know, and I lean on her for Everything.

Q. What do you think is the difference between being a relationship and being married?

A. MW- One simple word…” WORK” then why not!

TW- When you’re dating things are more adventurous. Marriage is serious, it’s not all about the fun!

Q. How long do you think someone should date before they get married?

A. MW- I think it varies... Everyone is different... If you share a connection, a bond like nothing else you’ve experienced and all areas of the relationship are a go- meaning RESPECT, COMMUNICATION, UNDERSTANDING, AND FINANCES, then why not.

TW- I feel at least year to a year and half... I never understood why some people would be together for ten to twelve years and not get married... What is the point?

Q. Do you think people need a marriage counselor before marriage?

A. MW- I totally recommend seeking counseling before marriage. You’re both in a controlled environment, where both parties can be open and honest. The counselor(s) can give advice, wisdom, and real-life scenarios.

TW- Yes, you need to know if you’re even ready to be married. I believe a marriage counselor can help you find this out. A lot of people want to get married just to post on social media….

Q. What do you think the definition of Love?

A. MW-Love has so many facets... Since, we’re discussing love in a romantic context... It’s a BALANCE of emotions, connections, surrounded by respect, communication, and understanding.

TW- My definition of love is being there for a person no matter what with flaws and all.

Q. Describe what you think a perfect date would be for your spouse?

A. MW- I would say” anytime that is spent with my spouse “ALONE”

“NO KIDS” ” The intimate time alone Laughing and joking or whatever we want to do just the two us.

TW- My spouse isn’t materialistic just as long were together... But I do like to surprise her on occasion to let her know I put thought into it.

Q. Give some advice or inspiration for other couples?

A. MW- Don’t expect marriage to be what you see in fairy tales and storybooks. Real marriage is nothing like that. It will require work and it is a never-ending journey of learning and growing with each other.

TW- Keep your business “your business” …Because you going to go through things. Always refer back to the love that brought the two of you together. As long as the foundation is there ... Everything will work itself out.

My Tears on Your Face

Through my skin, I pull you in. The pleasure, the pain, it all feels the same. Your heartbeat, my breath, You’re crushing my chest. My chaos, your calm, goosebumps on my arms. My tears on your face, Your feeling’s misplaced. I give you the pen, You write how it ends. My truth is, your lies, you swallow my pride. I turn on our song, you tell me I’m wrong. You throw back the sheet, The floor hits your feet. I’m empty. You’re full, We both know it’s cruel. Just moments before, our bodies were raw. You turn on your heel and walk out the door. I move to the place, that held our embrace. You move to the place My memories erased. Kim Chia 2020

A Common Thread

When we talk about love, we use the same words, we write the same poems, we sing the same verse. We tell the same stories, of our first clumsy kiss, of our broken hearts, and the one that we miss.

Our cheeks flush the same, when our eyes are locked, when our hand is held, when our world is rocked. We all ache the same way after a fight, burn the same way when in the spell of desire. We laugh, and we weep, we spoon when we sleep, we save things from dates, in a box that we keep.

Love’s like a ribbon that weaves it’s way through, it ties us together in ways we don’t choose. There’s no combination that feels “better love.” The ribbon’s the same, what’s different is us. We believe that we know, who should be wrapped, we say love is wrong, when it crosses the map. We try to pull it, in ways we believe, we shape ideal hearts in ways it can’t see.

The ribbon is blind to our world view, Love will be love, it moves how it moves. It existed before us, and will live on after. It’s wiser It’s braver It’s purer It’s smarter. The ribbon is light, it exists in perfection Our rules don’t apply, we are just love’s reflection.

Kim Chia 2020

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Love Her or Lose Her A Novel by Tessa Bailey • 2020

Spotlight CHALLENGE QUESTION

Q. What do you think is the most important factor of keeping love alive in a relationship?

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One of Oprah Magazine’s 21 Romance Novels That Are Set to Be the Best of 2020 + Marie Claire’s Best New Books of 2020

New York Times bestselling author Tessa Bailey returns with a unique, sexy romantic comedy about a young married couple whose rocky relationship needs a serious renovation...

Rosie and Dominic Vega are the perfect couple: high school sweethearts, best friends, madly in love. Well, they used to be anyway. Now Rosie’s lucky to get a caveman grunt from the ex-soldier every time she walks in the door. Dom is faithful and a great provider, but the man she fell in love with ten years ago is nowhere to be found. When her girlfriends encourage Rosie to demand more out of life and pursue her dream of opening a restaurant, she decides to demand more out of love, too. Three words: marriage boot camp.

Never in a million years did Rosie believe her stoic, too-manly-to-emote husband would agree to relationship rehab with a weed-smoking hippie. Dom talking about feelings? Sitting on pillows? Communing with nature? Learning love languages? Nope. But to her surprise, he’s all in, and it forces her to admit her own role in their cracked foundation. As they complete one ridiculous—yet surprisingly helpful—assignment after another, their remodeled relationship gets stronger than ever. Except just as they’re getting back on track, Rosie discovers Dom has a secret... and it could demolish everything.

“Her voice feels as fresh and contemporary as a Netflix romcom.” —Entertainment Weekly