STORMS DON’T LAST FOREVER
E. Thomas
The ConTextos Authors Circle was developed in collaboration with young people at-risk of, victims of, or perpetrators of violence in El Salvador. In 2017 this innovative program expanded into Chicago to create tangible, high quality opportunities that nourish the minds,,expand the voices and share the personal truths of individuals who have long been underserved and underestimated. Through the process of drafting, revising and publishing memoirs, participants develop self-reflection, critical thinking, camaraderie and positive selfprojection to author new life narratives.
Since January 2017 ConTextos has partnered with Cook County Sheriff's Office to implement Authors Circle in Cook County Department of Corrections as part of a vision for reform that recognizes the value of mental health, rehabilitation and reflection. These powerful memoirs complicate the narratives of violence and peace building, and help author a hopeful future for human beings behind walls, their families and our collective communities.
While each author’s text is solely the work of the Author, the image used to create this book’s illustrations have been sourced by various print publications. Authors curate these images and then, using only their hands, manipulate the images through tearing, folding, layering and careful positioning. By applying these collage techniques, Authors transform their written memoirs into illustrated books.
This project is being supported, in whole or in part, by federal award number ALN 21.027 awarded to Cook County by the U.S. Department of the Treasury.
E. Thomas STORMS DON’T LAST FOREVER
I will never forget the day God brought my first child into this world. It was 04-2-21. I was outside having a good time riding around and I got a call from the mother of my child telling me she was hungry. I pulled up to get her so we could get something to eat. I asked where she wanted to eat from and she said she didn't care, she just wanted some shrimp so I took her to this spot on Sacramento. I tried to get her to stay out with me but she wanted to go home.
I ended up taking her home then like an hour later I called to check on her and she said she was having pain in her back but she remembered that three days before she was having the same pain so I took her to the hospital and they told her she was having minor contractions. They said they couldn't do anything until she was 9 cm so we left.
Now as we drove home she got mad at me because the doctor said it was not time but she kept saying she was ready to have this baby and that they were blowing her.
So I made it back to her house, I helped her inside and made sure she was cool. Then I went outside and got me a drink.
I was nervous, I was about to have my first child any moment now. I pulled up to the liquor store and got a fifth of Anejo, then I rode around with my two brothers. I wanted that comfortability.
We rode around and I told them how my kid was going to change my life. They gave me the talk letting me know that I'm going to be a good father cuz I make sure I take care of our little sister, so they knew I would be a good father to my own child.
AsI'mtalkingtothemmymindgoesbacktothemotherofmychild,Igocallherand shetellsmeshe 'soutsidewithhernieceandhergodsisterdoingUberEats.
Shesaid shewasfeelingbettersoItoldhertocallmeifanythingchangedandshesaidokay.
I went back to sipping my drink and talking with my brothers telling them it was time to slow down, have kids, sit back and chill cuz the life we live has no joy to it at the end.
The only place we are going to end up is dead or in jail. We can sit down, have kids and do better with ourselves. Let our OG see their grandkids before they never see their grandkids or see you because we died in the streets before someone took on your name.
That night I open my eyes and I see I have more to live for than what I thought I did. It started to get late. It was like 2:00 a.m. I called the mother of my child and asked if she was okay. She said no she was back in pain and that she needed to go to the hospital.
So I hurry to get her so we can get to the hospital. I picked her up from home, she came outside moving slowly so I got out of the car to help her in.
When she got in the car she laid on her side balled up. I was asking her what happened because she was just cool when I talked to her earlier and she said while she was in the car doing Uber Eats with her niece and god sister, they kept on hitting potholes and bumps and that made her back start hurting again.
She made them drop her off at home thinking the pain would stop but it didn't so she called me.
I pulled up to the emergency room and they told me I can't stay cuz it's still Covid at the time, and if she was to be in labor when they take her up to the room I can come up. I told her to go ahead. I'm about to drop my brothers off and come back up here cuz she seemed like she was in a lot of pain.
I hurried back to my car so I could drop my brothers off. I didn't want to miss one second of bringing my little girl into this world.
I was speeding to drop them off. Once I got to my brother's crib. I got a call from the doctors telling me I need to get to the hospital because she was telling them she is not pushing the baby out til you get here.
I was speeding to get back there running red lights. it was 3:00 a.m. And I'm praying I don't get stopped by the police.
I made it to the hospital and I got to the room and I heard the doctors tell her to stay awake. Once I made it they started to tell her it was time to push that she had waited long enough. She kept on telling me she couldn't do it and that she was tired. I told her to push three hard times so she can go to sleep.
She grabbed my hand and squeezed it very hard. the next thing I know on 04-03-21 at 3:32 a.m. I had a little girl that was 5 lb and 7 oz. Her name was Emiliah Thomas. I was ecstatic. The person I have been waiting on for 9 months to meet was finally here and she was so cute.
Most of the time when a person has a child they come out and they are crying. But not Emiliah. She came out looking around and trying to find out where she was and trying to get herself cleaned up.
I got the chance to cut my baby's umbilical cord, then they took her to get her cleaned up. I sat waiting for the doctors to bring her back. When she came back I sat up and held my baby.
I was watching TV while her mother went to sleep from all the stuff that doctors gave her. I looked down in my arms, and Emiliah was watching TV with me. She was so quiet I thought she went to sleep on me just like her mother but no she stayed woke with me and we were just chilling.
At about 4:30 a.m. we both were sleep but I was woken up by the nurse. They took my baby to get some tests done.
When the mother of my child was awoken, I told her I was about to run home to get her and the baby a change of clothes cuz the doctor said they was going to be here for a couple of days. They would be waiting on the test results.
I went home and got their things and then came back. My baby had a scar on her back and her mother started going crazy on the doctors and nurses trying to figure out what happened to her back.
They tried to say they didn't know, so her mother told them she was going to take them to court since don't none of them knew what happened. Then they told her it came from them washing her up because they were wiping her too hard so it left a bruise on her back. So her mother left it alone.
Now it was time for her to go home and for me to get time to bond with my child more because I didn't have to worry about the nurse coming together and taking her away from me while I'm enjoying my time with her.
I didn't really get to enjoy being in my child's life because I ended up going to jail 6 months later. Right now I'm fighting to get back to her so I can be in her life. I've been gone for 2 years, when I left her she couldn't walk or talk and now she's walking and talking.
My little girl is very smart. She talks to me on the phone and sings her ABCs. She even knows her name. For a baby to be 2 years old she knows a lot for me to not be in her life and for my little girl to remember me even though I was only in her life for 6 months.
That let me know I play a big role in her life, that's what keeps me getting up every day fighting to get back to her because I know it hurts her knowing that she can't be with me. Some days she wakes up asking her mother to call me or she is trying to FaceTime me but she doesn't know that I have to be the one to call or to send the Zoom. She gets mad when I tell her I have to go, she gets sad and then asks when I am coming home. It hurts me cuz I don't know what to say, cuz I don't want to lie to her so I tell her real soon. Her mom tells me everytime she puts her clothes on she says she's about to go see her dad and her mom says not today. She gets sad.
It's to the point where as soon as she sees Cook County she says I'm about to go see my dad. The only thing is I tell myself I got to go home, I can't let her see me behind these walls the rest of her life.
Until the lion learns to write their own story, tales of the hunt will always glorify the hunter - African Proverb
