Beginnings: A Compilation by the Men of Chicago CRED by ConTextos Chicago

Beginnings A COMPILATION BY THE MEN OF CHICAGO CRED

"Until the lion learns to write their own story, tales of the hunt will always glorify the hunter." - African Proverb

In collaboration with:

The ConTextos Authors Circle was developed in collaboration with young people experiencing, navigating, surviving complex traumas in El Salvador. In 2017, this innovative program expanded into Chicago to create tangible, high quality opportunities that nourish the minds,

LION SPEAKS

expand the voices and share the personal truths of individuals who have long been underserved and underestimated. Through the process of drafting, revising, and publishing memoirs, participants strengthen self-reflection, critical thinking, camaraderie and positive self-projection to author new life narratives. This compilation grows out of the micro community built by the participants of CRED’s programming. The men present in this compilation undertook this journey of self-reflection and subsequent creation through ConTextos’ Authors Circle. All stories matter, and every human being has stories to tell. The pages of this compilation contain some of them. The writing in this compilation reveals the complex truths of powerful and beautiful Black men from Chicago’s South Side. There are existing narratives about who these men are and about the places they call home. The pages that follow complicate those narratives as only those who reside here can. Read on and listen. The times, the writing, the men, require that of you.

DIMITRI HEPBURN The men whose words are published on these pages inspire

INTRODUCTION

hope for the future of our communities. These Authors, with whom we gathered in Authors Circle, embody so many of the qualities that some prevailing narratives would have you believe are in short supply. They are caring fathers, thoughtful creators, hard-working providers, and insightful writers. They are students of the world and stewards of the next generation. They are an example to those who look up to them for inspiration and to those of us who have been privileged to share space with them in Authors Circle. Our time together became a space in which we were able to share our experiences, trials, hopes, and aspirations with one another. The writing compiled here contains reflections on both the experiences of these Authors and the conversations that propelled us along on a reflective journey. Trevor (YT) and I are honored to have been a part of this Authors Circle journey as facilitators and welcome readers to join us in uplifting the work of these admirable men. Dimitri Hepburn ConTextos Authors Circle Facilitator

TABLE OF CONTENTS

BEGINNINGS Introduction Bam Chris Corey Dee Durrell Isa Jack Kevin LC Monte Leontay Nathan Reginald D Steve G Zion

5 7 12 15 18 23 25 28 30 33 36 40 43 46 49 53

Bam IN SITUATIONS, NO LIMITATIONS. NO REPLACEMENT.

6 WORD MEMOIRS

BAM

NOT ALWAYS, BUT OFTEN I'LL SUCCEED. TIME IS WASTING. MIND IS RACING. IN SITUATIONS, NO LIMITATIONS. NO REPLACEMENT.

I am from the K blocks to the 100’s From weed rocks and blows

I AM FROM POEM

And “Where da h*es?” I am from 10-7 and 2323, Granny’s crib where everybody be. I am from “You better get home before the street lights.” But when OG go to sleep then we sneak out. I’m from Jordan and Rose. From bust up a 32. And from go hard or go home. I’m from don’t get caught lacking And from Sunday school as a child To not going to church in a while. I’m from Mt. Sinai on California Street. From six wings, lemon pepper, fried hard. From Juanita’s house. I am from where it’s time vs. life.

BAM

THIS WAS ALL A SETUP

BAM This was all a setup! They are not telling the whole story. The Daley’s destroyed Chicago in my opinion. Segregation, racism… Blacks never had shit in the 80s and 90s. They flooded our streets with crack and guns. They tore down the projects. Now everything is different. That block that was once peaceful is now a war zone. Now the kids can’t even have fun. Everyday bodies drop, especially in the summertime when it’s really hot. But how did it get like this? Crooked mayor and policies did this shit. No fair opportunities. The drugs tore our families apart. But ask yourself how the fuck it got here. The guns too.

NOT NORMAL

BAM

Growing up as a kid until an early adult, we were more active. We went outside and played for hours. We rode bikes, went swimming, played basketball, etc. Nowadays kids don’t bother to do these things we did. They’re either playing video games or playing on their cell phones/internet. Now we played games, but only for a few hours then we got active. But now everything’s changed.

lil chris

LIL CHRIS

6 WORD MEMOIR

PLAY DUMMY GAMES, WIN DUMMY PRIZES.

JUDGED

LIL CHRIS

I was working my normal security job when I was approached by a “Karen.” After a brief conversation, she asked me if my job is what I actually did for a living. After I told her “yes” she replied snidely, “that really sucks.”

corey

COREY

6 WORD MEMOIR

BEING BLACK COMES WITH A LOT

COREY

Being black comes with a lot. We get judged because of our history and what we still do til this day. Just because we listen to rap, it means we’re ghetto. If you have dreads they think you’re a gang banger. If we smoke weed, we’re lazy and don’t know nothing.

MISJUDGED

I get judged everyday because I’m black.

Dee

THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND. I DON’T CARE.

6 WORD MEMOIRS

DEE

MORE YOU SPEAK, LESS YOU LEARN.

SHE WASN’T RIGHT, SO I LEFT.

I AM FROM POEM

DEE

I’m from where the little girls turn into mommas. I’m from where you hit a lick or hit a jumper. I’m from where they only love you when you’re six feet under. I’m from where if you die with no funds, momma gotta burn ya. I’m from where they pray to God and still be a sinner. I’m from where the hypocrites turn out to be a winner.

FUTURE FATHERHOOD

DEE When it comes to raising my child, my child would have to experience obstacles and lessons growing up. Even though I want the best for my child, and I would want to give them everything I didn’t have, I feel like it’s necessary for them to have those lessons so they can have a more sharp adult experience without confusion.

DESENSITIZED

DEE

Something that’s not normal is the de-sensitivity of the internet and how it displays death and other negative things. Every time you turn on the news or you’re scrolling on social media, you’re hearing about an outrageous number of cases of a life-ending illness or a child or black man being murdered. The more people witness things of that nature on the internet, the more people are ok with death in reality.

Rell

RELL I am from Chicago.

I AM FROM POEM

From Trump Tower and pizza. I am from Mama’s house with all the kids. I am from dogs. I’m from Terry and Greg. From basketball and football, And from good good vibes. I’m from “Stop doing that before I tell.” And from “You gon get yo butt whipped.” I’m from God. I’m from the South Side. I’m from pizza and chips. From Barbara, my mom. I am loved.

isa "QUITTING’S A CHOICE. FAILURE IS WISDOM."

ISA

6 WORD MEMOIRS

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT. MEDITATION IS KEY. DON’T BUILD YOUR SHIELD ON THE BATTLEFIELD. PLAN YOUR WORK AND WORK YOUR

PLAN.

I AM FROM POEM

ISA I am from the 100’s. The city to the burbs From being a misfit and music being my hope. I am from ‘point them out knock them out’ At school And fighting at the Markham Fest. I am from sleeping and meditating while it’s raining. I’m from my cuz/bro Sumo And my homie Melo. From teaching how to be an artist and get girls And from being reliable when needed the most. I’m from not listening in school when told “No Talking in class” And from being told I can be anything I want to be If I put my mind to it. I’m from church on Sundays And trying to figure out why Jesus was white For the rest of the week. I’m from Ingalls Hospital. From BBQ jerk chicken And sneaking the Tito’s. From my Pops showing me it's other ways To live life. I am from troubles to trophies.

Jack

YOUNGEST

JACK I’m the youngest out of eight, so I pretty much saw the things my siblings went through and learned from that. When things they’ve experienced came my way, I knew what to do, what not to, and how to move around it.

a day without getting high. It wasn’t normal for females to want and look up to a toxic relationship. I feel like social media is the reason why certain things are normal now.

IT WASN'T NORMAL

It wasn’t normal to get high everyday. Now some don’t go

Kevin "I AM A PROTECTOR OF FAMILY."

KEVIN

6 WORD MEMOIRS

"I’M ONLY NEEDED WHEN THEY DOWN."

"WHEN YOU'RE DOWN, NOBODY IS THERE."

KEVIN

I AM FROM POEM

I am from the Garden’s blocks. From fights and shootouts. I am from 59th and Wabash. I am from the streets, The trenches. I’m from OG and Pops. From spending quality time with them And from two hustles. I’m from “Stop doing dumb shit.” And from “Sit the fuck down.” I’m from believing in Unity. I’m from Chicago. From chicken and greens From OG. I am from pain from all the losses.

LC "HUNGER FOR SAVIOR.

6 WORD MEMOIR

AIMING FOR SUCCESS."

SHOPPING TRIP

One day years ago, I remember going to the store with my mother. She was trying on clothes. Of course I was bored, and couldn’t wait to go. Out of nowhere we heard two loud popping sounds. My mother yelled for me to get down. I jumped to the floor thinking “What’s going on?” After some time had passed, we got off the floor. We went to the door where we seen people gathering looking over a man. He was shot twice right outside the store. To many, Chicago is good or bad. Chicago to me is home. I’m not blind, I don’t act like I don’t see the wrong. On a nice sunny day when it’s a beautiful day and the kids are playing, or even on a rainy day when it’s not the most beautiful, Chicago… to me it’s home.

Monte

MONTE

6 WORD MEMOIRS

"THEY ONLY LOVE YOU WHEN YOU'RE DYING."

"SPEAK YOUR NEEDS, YOU MIGHT SUCCEED."

NOT THE WHOLE STORY

MONTE That’s not the whole story. Judging a book by its cover Innocent until proven guilty Homeless people Sick people Mad people, Happy people, Depressed people, Successful people. City of Chicago My life / your life Vengeful people Hurt people Mourning people My country, your country Anything you look at in life has something that can be questioned Or has a backstory.

MONTE SHE THOUGHT When I was in school, I never liked going. So I was there and did nothing. She thought it was because I couldn't read. I just didn’t like going to school. Or maybe it was because I barely talked.

Leontay

LEONTAY

6 WORD MEMOIRS

"YOU ARE WHAT YOU SPEAK OF."

"GOOD THINGS COME TO GOOD PEOPLE."

LEONTAY I am from M.V.P. From basketballs and rocking white tees.

I AM FROM POEM

I am from the red brick house Where Ms. Fisher sold candy. I am from the cracks in the sidewalk, Much like my broken home. Only had my mom. Daddy left her on her own. I’m from Melissa and Ernest. One taught me to shine bright, One left me dark and hurting. I’m from motivation and passion, Sometimes hate, And from lack of communication and absence. I’m from “If you know better, you do better.” And “There’s more to life than what you see In the hood.” I’m from “It gets greater later.” “God got you. Just pray.” From fried chicken, macaroni, Greens, and cornbread. From Booky. That’s my momma. I am from M.V.P. That place made me me.

Nathan

NATHAN

6 WORD MEMOIRS

"CAPTAIN YOUR SHIP. MASTER YOUR FATE."

"WATCH YOUR COMPANY. YOUR COMPANY’S WATCHING."

NATHAN

I am from Racine Courts MVP, Mount Vernon Park From 103rd to 111th. I am from music playing through the speakers, With some females around

I AM FROM POEM

Smoking, drinking, talking with the guys, Getting to some money. I am from your neighborhood park, Surrounded with trees, basketball courts, Baseball fields, playgrounds, and football fields. I’m from my mom and my block. From her telling me what to do in the streets, To surviving the streets. And from the love that they both showed me. I’m from “Watch the company that you keep Because your company’s watching.” And from “You don’t work, you don’t eat. You don’t grind, you don’t shine.” “Know when to see the bluff, And how to play your cards.” And “When you take a shot, It might come with a charge.” I’m from a Christian home who believes in God. I’m from a military base. From summertime BBQ’s To Sunday dinners, From Kool-Aid to hard liquor. From the most loyal And fearless nigga I know, Scottie G. I am from a place of strength Where if you survive here, You can survive anywhere.

Reginald D

REGINALD D I am from Roseland, Where tomorrow ain’t promised.

I AM FROM POEM

From fighting and shooting. From a house where four cousins And one grandmother grew up. I am from Earth, air, birds, water, a lot. I’m from Pops and God. From leaving the house every Sunday To play basketball with my Pops, And from Pops looks like a bad person, But is a good one of God. I’m from Roseland, Where my grandmother had to keep telling me To “Stop being scared and fight.” And from “Stop lying.” I’m from God I believe in 100%. I’m from 107 Wabash. From chicken, greens, cornbread, and Kool-Aid. From Get Back, A name I got after fighting back. I am from a block Where we had our ups and downs, But we always come over them Before getting worse.

REGINALD D DECISIONS As I get older, I pay attention more and more to how life is important and how what decisions you make can affect what’s in front of you. Family, hold tight to them because tomorrow ain’t promised. For example, my aunt is brain dead now because everything she did in her past caught up with her. Now she’s in the hospital fighting for her life, and the part is my brothers want to pull the plug, because they don’t want her to suffer any more. But our granny lost almost all her children, and doesn’t want to pull the plug. She wants to let her fight it out. All I say is “pray for her and let God work.”

Steve G

STEVE G

6 WORD MEMOIRS

"WE GON’ MAKE IT MAKE SENSE. "

"LONG AS I’M BETTER THAN YESTERDAY."

I AM FROM POEM

STEVE G

I am from Mt. Vernon Park. From Hotspot and 108th. I am from 4 for a dollar chips. I am from tree stumps and corners. Really the streets. I’m from Skeet and Sinclair. From freestyling for fun And from thinking quick on my feet. I’m from “Them ain’t really your friends.” I’m from a higher power. I’m from the wild hundreds. From Don and Julio, From my Big Granny crib. I am from where you just trying to make it make sense.

SETBACK

STEVE G Some of the experiences I learned from is going to jail. That shit just really be a setback for everything. Time away from your kids, financially, having to figure shit out again, being dependent on the next person while you’re in there. Kids get attached to you when you live with them, so all that time you’re missing counts. You really be blew missing out on some of the milestones.

Zion "FACING YOUR FEARS COMES WITH SACRIFICE."

ZION

6 WORD MEMOIRS

"NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS. STRIVE FOR MORE." "MORE YOU LEARN, MORE YOU UNDERSTAND." "HAVING PATIENCE COMES WITH SELF CONTROL."

ZION I am from 107th and Eggleston.

I AM FROM POEM

From the trenches and the mud. I am from an unstable household. I am from a different cloth, Seeing different things, Comfortable with being uncomfortable. I’m from Grandma and God. From chillin, going with the flow, and strategies And from God helping me Throughout my tough times. I’m from “death and jail.” And from “You ain’t gone never learn.” I’m from belief in a higher power. I’m from Roseland Hospital. From soul food and liquor. From my friends Looking on how all the things changed Over the years. I am from anger, pain, Blood, sweat, and tears.

To learn more about our work, read memoirs, and other compilations written by our Authors visit: www.contextos.org Find us on social media: @contextoschi

All photographs by Dimitri Hepburn

Book design by Naimah Thomas 2022

Co-Facilitated by Trevor Lester and Dimitri Hepburn