Past That Leads To Our Future

"Until the lion learns to write their own story, tales of the hunt will always glorify the hunter."

- African Proverb

3

The ConTextos Authors Circle was developed in collaboration with young people experiencing, navigating, surviving complex traumas in El Salvador. In 2017, this innovative program expanded into Chicago to create tangible, high quality opportunities that nourish the minds, expand the voices

and

share

the

personal

truths

of

individuals

who

have

long

been

underserved

and

underestimated. Through the process of drafting, revising, and publishing memoirs, participants strengthen self-reflection, critical thinking, camaraderie and positive self-projection to author new life narratives.

Past That Leads to Our Future is a compilation of memoirs from students of Englewood Stem High School. ConTextos partnered with the Englewood Stem learning community to continue a second cycle of Authors Circles. Authors Circle is a space of meaningful connection, reflection and creation for important young people in Chicago navigating multiple challenges and opportunities in 2022.

Our thanks to everyone who made this journey possible: ESHS’s leadership team and staff, the IMC Foundation and most of all the brave, talented, powerful authors!

In collaboration with:

Introduction Kalief Dinkins and I have been facilitating Authors Circle sessions during sixth period every Tuesday and Thursday. The first time we walked into room 301 we were filled with optimism and excitement, feelings which only grew stronger throughout our time together. We were eager to embark on the Authors Circle journey anew with these bright and enthusiastic young people. We were also keenly aware that this can be a profoundly difficult time to be a teen in Chicago. We knew that we had a lot to share and that the students in the room would have even more to share with us. We were, and remain, grateful for the opportunity to provide a time and place for these Authors to engage in conversation, read together, write together, and offer feedback to one another in a setting that allows for the unfettered expression of ideas and emotions.

This Authors Circle journey was one of reflection and projection. Together we reflected on the commonality of our experiences as well as the unique paths each of our lives has taken. We also projected ourselves into the future, envisioning the possibilities that may lie ahead of us both as individuals and as a community. This idea is reflected in the cover of this book, created by Kalief, inspired by the vision of the Authors who participated in this Authors Circle.

The selections compiled in this volume reflect some of the thoughts and emotions of Englewood STEM high school students captured over the course of our time together in Authors Circle. We hope that when you read this book, you will embrace this opportunity to listen and learn as young people share their perspectives as only they can. We are grateful to the faculty and staff at Englewood STEM high school who made this Authors Circle possible, especially Ms. Hammond and Ms. Garner, who participated fully in each of our Authors Circle sessions.

Sincerely,

Dimitri Hepburn ConTextos Authors Circle Facilitator

5

Table of Contents Introduction

5

Jamir

60

Adrianna

7

Jaylen

63

Armani

12

Jeremiah

67

Audriana

19

Kartisha

71

Nay

28

Kimora

74

Bryans

30

Malik

80

Camaria

36

Marshawn

84

De'Andrea

39

Mikayla

87

De'John

41

Quinton

91

Dejohne

44

Radsheen

95

Dereon

47

Shariell

100

Felicia

49

Spirit

103

Jameel

53

Trevion

107

James

57

6

Adrianna

"Let your faith overpower your fears."

- Adrianna 6 Word Memoir

I Am From Written by Adrianna

I am from the Windy City.

From tall gates and big buildings.

I am from the house on the corner, Brown, made of bricks that smell like coffee.

I am from wet grass on the lawn.

I’m from family reunions and playing in big buildings.

From Odessa and John.

I’m from the funny jokes and loud noises.

From “Stop swinging on my gate” and “Water the flowers.”

I’m from opening presents at 12 AM on Christmas day.

I’m from Holy Cross, spaghetti, and fried chicken.

From being the only child to now the child of two.

From pictures in my grandma’s house, From memories never lost.

9

Reflections Perseverance A

time

I

showed

Written by Adrianna

perseverance

was

when I had a hard time doing my work for

each

class.

I

worked

my

way

through it by thinking about how good I would feel after I got all of my work done, which made me want to keep going.

Accomplishing Goals I think everyone could put their mind to anything they would want to achieve in life. If someone knows exactly what their goals are, does not let anything or anyone get in the way of them, and also staying persistent and consistent, things

could

work

out

in

your

favor

because of the positive mindset that you should set for yourself while trying to accomplish any goals.

10

Reflections Something I would tell my younger self

Written by Adrianna

Something I would tell my younger self is

to

never

give

up

and

pick

and

choose who needs to be in your life wisely.

I

say

pick

and

choose

who

needs to be in your life wisely because I

feel

that

some

people

are

very

genuine and some people have hidden agendas.

I

also

said

never

give

up

because I feel that if you go through something challenging and never give up,

then

you

would

have

a

better

Leaving Chicago

outcome.

I say yes and no on leaving Chicago, because I really don’t know if I would like to move out of Chicago right now. I know that in the future for college, I would want to go to a school that’s out of town just so I could get a new and different experience.

11

Armani

"Opening all locked doors I closed."

- Armani 6 Word Memoir

I Am From Written by Armani

I am from under the copper sun From state to state and house.

I am from chaos, conflict, and love.

Arguments, laughter, and the smell of shea butter.

I am from blue magic grease With braids too tight.

I’m from Santa isn’t real and God is.

From Nicole and Tyrone I’m hugs and kisses.

From “I love you” and “I’m glad I had you.”

I’m from a Christian that never goes to church every Sunday.

I’m from two places.

The cold and the sun fused into one.

I’m from collard greens and spaghetti with honey.

From the sound of church music on an early Saturday.

I’m from hundreds of pictures in a bin.

Memories collected, memories we can never touch.

I am from comments I’ll never understand, Questions I’ll already know the answer to.

14

Letter to My Younger Self Written by Armani

Hey, younger me.

I’ve done a lot. I’ve been to Japan and now I’m in high school.

I wish I could talk to you and tell you to speak up for yourself.

Don’t let anyone, not even yourself, question your value.

Read more books and ask mom to have you learn another language.

It’s not about you all the time. Take a step back and breathe. You grew up and I cut my hair (shocking).

Let me tell you it will be hard to keep going and to keep moving, because when you look back, all you will be thinking is what should’ve and could’ve, so try your hardest.

15

Reflections Math has been a hard subject

Written by Armani

Math has been a hard subject for me.

It

made

me

miserable

whenever

I

Chicago

stepped into math class. I would dread it. I hated it because I wasn’t good at it.

To

me

getting

a

question

I love the culture and food in the windy

wrong

city. I hate the culture of death and

meant I was a failure. It meant I wasn’t

mourning of families in the windy city.

good enough and that I wasn’t smart.

Math

made

would

cry.

made

me

me Now

so

so it

mad.

frustrated wasn’t To

be

that

math

I was born in Iowa. I moved here when

I

I was nine or ten. I remember being so

that

honest,

excited to get on the train. My mom

I

held me as I looked out the window.

wasn’t even bad at math. It was my

Now

mindset and my fear of being a failure

whenever

I

get

on

the

train,

I

dread it. It was so weird to me when

to my family. In reality it was the voices

my

in my head nitpicking me.

mom

told

surroundings

me and

to

beware

never

let

of

my

people

know I am afraid. I thought that was doing too much. I found it strange how people

go

emergency

car exit

to door

car

using

saying

the

“Loose

squares! Loose squares!” I asked her what were loose squares?

16

Reflections Dear Future Armani

Written by Armani

I don’t know why, but on the days that I’m

supposed

to

relax

(like

the

weekends) I always feel panicky. I feel I’m supposed to be doing something.

I’m

always

telling

myself

I

need

to

Success

study, I need to read, or improve on something. It’s like I can’t relax. I have Success

a lot of questions for you like how are

means

a

lot

of

money.

Not

worrying about bills, and if they are

you? Are you married?

going to get paid on time. Success is being comfortable and secure, proving to yourself that you could do it, that you

could

making

always

sure

my

do

it.

mother

It

means

and

little

brothers are safe and that gangs and violence isn’t their way out. It means that I will never see my little brothers behind a cell if I can help it. It means not living in Englewood or Fernwood where bullets echo, where you don’t hear

mothers

weeping

sons (and daughters).

17

for

their

lost

Reflections Dear Mr. President I

wholeheartedly

believe

that

Written by Armani

you

should refrain from involving the US in the

Ukraine

vs.

Russia

war.

Our

economy is already struggling. I’m tired of seeing $5 for half a gallon of gas.

Because of this, last week my mother told me I needed to get on the bus, in

Deflecting

Chicago. Do you know how bad being

I was watching my baby brother. He

on a CTA train is? I went on the train

was only around one year old. I was on

sometime last week. It was around 8

my phone and then I saw him out of

AM, early in the morning. I was on my

the corner of my eye pull my carpet

way

up.

because

to

gas

was

school

peaceful

and

it

I

live

was

of

yelling

at

him,

I

just

down my heater, step on it to climb on

screaming, and hitting this lady. That

my chair to get on my dresser to grab

would

a

someone

man

the get

started

second

my

I

saw

brush

that

I

took

from

him

school. I know you have a lot on your

guess I scared him, because when I

plate,

girl

said that he put the brush down and

complaining to get on the train is the

quickly climbed down my dresser and

least of your worries.

tried

year

way

hair

earlier. I asked him “What you doing?” I

fourteen

on

time

to

and

violent

Out

Instead

yelling,

be

wasn’t.

pretty

watched him. I watched this child push

this

it

high.

of

nowhere

until

too

old

to

deflecting.

18

dance.

I

think

he

was

Audriana

"Can’t control others' minds or thinking."

- Audriana 6 Word Memoir

I Am From Written by Audriana

I am from trench coats and hoodies.

From durags, ski masks, and bonnets.

I am from the smell of fried chicken And the sound of popping grease Godly quotes hung all along the wall.

Dora asking “Where’s the map?”

When it’s in her backpack.

I am from where dandelions will give you hope Close your eyes, make a wish.

It will come true.

I’m kinky full hair and pressing combs.

From Salter and Halls And all the way down to Lewis, Parker, and Robinson.

I’m from the dark freckles around my nose and also face moles.

From “You can’t run in my house” And “You smell like outside.”

21

I Am From (continued) Written by Audriana

I’m from the Baptist church background, Sunday school, Easter Sunday, choirs, wine, and cradles.

I’m from Chicago, Illinois, and Sardra, Mississippi.

Collard greens, neck bones, blackeye peas, and hot water cornbread From my momma almost had my little sister on the living room floor (Thankful she didn’t) The watching my oldest sister graduate and go on prom.

My grandma’s photo album is where it’s really at.

Memories are kept for future reunion stories To keep the family laughing, happy, and joyful.

I am from Chicago!

22

Letter to My Younger Self Written by Audriana

Hey Bestie! I know you’re probably like “Who is this?”

Well I’m Audrey from the past wondering about your life… well mine?!?

No I’m just going to say your life since I’m obviously in the past, which sucks.

I thought about what I was going to write to you in my head.

I had it planned, but now that I’m writing, I have a lot of curious questions, honestly!? How are you? How’s life!? Did you and you know who work it out?

What do you do as a job or career?! Did you get over him? LOL Well I just want to know. Did any of my current friends switch up?

I can’t wait to see what the future brings. I want to know the answers to these questions, but now that I think...if I cut the people out of my life now or change my life based on the things you tell me about my future, I’m not going to learn after making the mistakes I made.

Don’t get back to me.

I don’t care.

Live your life and learn from your mistakes.

On! Your! Own!

23

Dear Studio Owner Written by Audriana

I’m a freshman at Englewood STEM high school. Growing up, I’ve always thought music was cool. I wanted to be a singer. God knows I can’t sing. At least I think.

I’ve always been a good rapper, though, and I love making music (writing). My music isn’t always about the present, it’s even about the past music industry.

Writing music doesn’t always have to be about how much money you have, what type of guns you used/held/shot, how many “hoes” you have, nor should it be about any time you bought designer.

Music is what frees me from reality. I float away into my own little world rapping lyrics by lyrics. I don’t have any published music because I don’t have beats to rap to, but I don’t care. I randomly get inspired to write and sometimes it’s not much.

Writing raps for people is what I’m starting to like. I’d like to show people at my age I can rap without cussing or talking about guns or weed.

My life sometimes sucks and music helps me forget what I go through.

24

Englewood is Where I Grew Up Written by Audriana

When I was in third grade, I moved from Englewood and transferred to a new school. Englewood is where I grew up. That’s where my fun was. Playing in the sprinklers in the summer, fire hydrants sprinkling water everywhere with adults and kids everywhere, getting free things from the candy store because my best friend's mom owned it, knocking on my friend’s door to play hopscotch, writing with chalk, and jumping rope. Throwing water balloons at my siblings, going out to eat and putting salt in someone’s drink whenever they walk away, doing musically’s, going to block parties, and watching my family bop at family functions.

Going to Eddie’s, getting fifty cent juice and fifty cent bag of chips.

Coming back to Englewood, everything has changed. Eddie’s is gone. Knocked down, I guess. Kids don’t play in sprinklers, and I understand… Life was more free, fun, and vibrant. But now it isn’t the same as back then. I miss it, but then I’m glad I’ve grown and moved on with my life.

Seeing the world for what it is and not what I wanted it to be.

25

You Can Be What You Want to Be Written by Audriana

Dear Freshman Seminar 6th Period,

Yes. I think you can be what you want to be. Coming from a financially stable adult, you’ll be told you can be whatever you put your mind to. I agree! But you’re never told how long it takes nor the risks and things you’ll have to sacrifice. Once you have a goal, set your mind to it and focus. Sitting around wishing for things to occur without putting in effort won’t help at all.

Agreeing with one of my classmates, as long as you set your mind to believe you can reach the goal, you’re going to reach it. As long as you believe in yourself, you won’t need validation from anyone else other than yourself. Once you get there, it’s important to be humble, because karma doesn’t forget an address, and you’ll get knocked back down to where you started.

26

Reflections Cooking

Written by Audriana

Math has been a hard subject for me.

It

made

me

miserable

whenever

I

stepped into math class. I would dread it. I hated it because I wasn’t good at it.

To

me

getting

a

question

wrong

meant I was a failure. It meant I wasn’t good enough and that I wasn’t smart.

Math

made

would

cry.

made

me

me Now

so

so it

mad.

frustrated wasn’t To

be

that

math

I

that

honest,

I

Wave Pool

wasn’t even bad at math. It was my mindset and my fear of being a failure

I

to my family. In reality it was the voices

don’t remember where we were, but I

in my head nitpicking me.

was on a circle floaty and it started

almost

drowned

in

a

wave

pool.

I

floating towards the deep side. I fell through the hole of the floaty and held on to the wall. The waves were really big and people were pushing me, but I still held on. I let go and regretted it right after, but a lifeguard pulled me up by the side and I never went back. #traumatized

27

Nay

"Be proud of what you do."

- Nay 6 Word Memoir

Bryans

"Working on being a better person."

- Bryans 6 Word Memoir

I Am From Written by Bryans

I am from a big house in the cold city of Chicago.

From warmth in my family home.

I am from the different houses we stayed in With a lot of family members, Very big, lost space, ugly paint job, dead mouse in the room.

I am from lots of grass and flowers in the backyard, Very peaceful and quiet.

Eating dinner separately, but making it together Feet kicked up watching movies.

From Bryant and Mom, also my little sisters.

I’m from the hardworking and loving.

From being told “Never give up” and “Be independent.”

I’m from church sometimes, but prayers every night.

I’m from my parents who do the best they can.

Eating lasagna on Sundays And being very happy with my little sister.

32

To My Class Written by Bryans

To My Class,

Yes. I think you can be whatever you want to be. You are old enough to decide what you want to be. You just have to keep trying and keep pushing. You have to believe in your goals. I think I can be whatever I want to be.

Everybody has a chance to see what they want to do. For example, I want to get a job and get a house. To do that I will have to figure out which job I want and then try to get that job. If you don’t know what you want to do yet, you might figure it out when you get older.

I believe in y'all.

Sincerely, Bryans

33

Dear Bryans Written by Bryans

Dear Bryans,

Keep on pushing. Keep on doing what you are doing. You’re the best. I believe you can do all the things you want to do, like start working at a job, get a house, and pay your bills. I hope you will get your own car and customize it. I hope you will do what you got to do to be independent. You don’t have to rely on anyone, but find people who can help you reach your goals.

I love you.

Bryans

34

Reflections Focus I

kept

Written by Bryans

focusing.

I

kept

going

and

thinking to myself during class. It was hard about

because what

it

was

was

hard

going

to

on.

I

think was

thinking about other things like what’s going on and what had been going on in class. I was also thinking about what was going on outside of class.

"Being loyal does not cost anything."

- Bryans 35

Camaria

You Can Do Anything Written by Camaria

I think you can do anything you put your mind to

because if you really want something,

you will do anything you need to do

to get to the part in life that you want to be at.

There is no point of saying you want to be something but don’t do it.

You have to pick something that you really like doing and go on with your life.

You have to have a good mindset.

37

Reflections Dear School

Written by Camaria

My name is Camaria, and I think this school should give us more free time and stop treating us like we’re in fifth grade. I think we should be able to have

our

what

if

phones

in

something

school

happens

because and

we

need our phones to call home?

Mom's Advice When people that care about you tell you something, it’s because they want what’s best for you. I say this because one day I was at school and this girl was

being

always

start

messy stuff

and with

she

would

people.

One

day I got mad and said something to her, but my mom told me when people start stuff or say something, you don’t always have to fight or say something to

them,

because

there’s

always

a

reason why people act the way they act.

They’re

probably

something at home.

38

going

through

De'Andrea

Reflections Change in my lifetime Since

I

was

little,

kinda

a

lot

Written by De'Andrea

has

changed in my lifetime, but not really. I kinda have a better lifestyle. I grew up so

now

I’m

different

as

a

person.

Nothing hasn’t really changed but my living ways and my mindset, honestly. I think different now. I move different.

My life is kinda better, honestly. I’m a

I'm a hair stylist

more mature person now. I’m me.

I’m a hairstylist. Doing hair was difficult for

me

at

first.

I

couldn't

get

it

for

nothing. I would never know how, but I wanted

to

be

a

hairstylist.

If

I

think

about it, it actually didn’t take as long as I thought, but during the process, it felt

very

long.

My

auntie

was

a

hairstylist and my mom knew how to do hair, but wasn’t a hairstylist. I knew what I wanted, so I started by trying on myself. I knew if I could do it on myself, then it shouldn’t be hard for me to do it on somebody else.

40

De’John

I Am From Written by De’John

I am from the trenches.

From cold nights and guns blazing.

I am from the cheap floors creaking, Bullets flying, momma’s screaming.

I am from potholes, rats, roaches.

They all make up Chicago.

I’m from fighting with my cousins Tryna get bread cause we was struggling.

Mama paying all the bills.

We had no one but each other.

From Lawana and Chwanda From “You bet not trust them.”

And “They say they do, but they don’t love you.”

I’m from where the snakes teach you ‘Slime the city, but neva slime your brothers.’

I’m from St. Bernard, fried hard, eating chips With staying out in the dark.

From don’t get caught.

They give you life.

From the mama trying to do you right.

From photo books and my crazy family.

42

Dear Future Self Written by De'John

Aye Boa,

you better be greater and richer than now,

and be exploring the world doing what you wanna do.

I hope you ain’t let your battles now stop you.

Keep going. Keep trying.

You’re worth it.

43

Dejohne

"Can’t learn watching someone else run."

- Dejohne 6 Word Memoir

Reflections Football Game

Written by Dejohne

At a football game opening kickoff. I’m running and somebody hit me so hard, I almost forgot where I was at. Then I got back up and made the tackle and finished the game.

Success Is Success is when you have made it. But you’re

not

finished

when

you

have

made it. You can say you have made it, but it’s harder to maintain it. You can make it, but think of all the work

The System

you did to make it times two. That is

Back in my head, I was here last night

how hard it is, and if you can say “I’ve

talking

I’m

made it” and show you can maintain it,

doing the same thing right now. So the

that’s when you are the perfect picture

word system has come up a lot and I

of success!

about

my

feelings

and

would talk about what I think it means.

The

system

government.

is

made

Yeah,

the

by

the

ones

who

control if you have shelter or not. The systems

will

never

change

until

the

person who made it gets tired. That’s when they will hit the reset button.

46

Dereon

"Chocolate can be sweet or bitter."

- Dereon 6 Word Memoir

Felicia

I Am From Written by Felicia

I am from the crib, From the backyard and front porch.

I am from the three bedroom apartment, Warm, bright, with all the lights on.

I am from my natural hair, Where it’s never done.

I’m from game nights and jokes.

From Valentines and Roscoes.

I’m from the kind and comfortable.

From “don’t talk to strangers” and “look both ways.”

I’m from falling asleep in church, being popped and told to wake up.

I’m from Chicago, born and raised.

Mexican corn on the cob, McDonalds.

From the passing of my grandma and repping her name.

50

"Watching the rain, on the inside."

- Felicia 6 Word Memoir

Ask for help A

time

I

learned

a

lesson

is

when

instead of me waiting and asking for help,

I

wanted

to

do

it

myself.

That

was when I was cooking some noodles in a glass bowl and burned myself and dropped everything on me. Moral of the story: just ask for help and wait next time.

51

Letter to Myself Written by Felicia

Dear Self,

You are doing so good with holding yourself up. You are doing good at trying to keep your attitude together. I want you to keep that same positive energy you’ve been giving even though times get hard. I want you to pull through them. You once asked

Who am I?!!!

Well, you are an amazing, sweet sixteen year old girl who has a beautiful, creative mind that pushes through anything you put your mind to. You are smart, beautiful, intelligent, and outstanding. You don’t need no one to tell you different.

52

Jameel

"We remember times we spent together."

- Jameel 6 Word Memoir

68th 78th

I Am From Written by Jameel

I am from the green line From Bulls and Bears I am from the house full of people warm, smell good, loud house I am from running in the grass, with my socks off I’m from lil Durk and King Von From Harolds and Uncle Remus I’m from the White Sox and Cubs From stop going in and out and stay off the grass I’m from church on sundays, And Wednesdays I’m from Chicago Stuffing, Sweet potatoes From the grandma with 5 kids The uncle that went to Harvard Pictures everywhere in grandma house Without pictures you can forget what happened

55

Reflections How I've Changed

Written by Jameel

I started growing.

Hair got longer.

I learned how to fight.

My money got longer.

Moving

I never caught COVID 19.

My name is Jameel J, but my nickname is Milly. I was born in Chicago, Illinois on

March

grandma’s

31

in

house

‘06.

I

until

lived I

was

in

my

about

eight, then I moved with my mom to the East Side. I stayed over east for about two or three years, then I moved out South on 68th for three years, then I moved on 78th for like three years,

iPhone Lost I

got

a

crazy

story

like

then I moved back to my grandma’s King

Von.

house

I

my house. I had the iPhone XR. I got tired and went to sleep on the couch. I put my phone on the table like three away

from

the

two

years.

West by Madison.

remember I was fifteen and I was in

centimeters

for

couch.

When I woke up, it was 4 AM and my phone was gone. I couldn’t find it.

56

Now

I

live

out

James

I Am From Written by James

I am from chips and cheese sold everyday.

From the South Side of Chicago, the Windy City.

I am from the loud sirens, Shootings, screaming, and crying.

I am from “Stay off my grass!”

That’s what the nextdoor neighbor said.

I’m from going to church on Sunday, and funny things.

From Dez and Loski.

I’m from the jokes and sometimes sad.

From everyone telling me “Everyone is not your friend.”

And “Stay off the grass.”

I’m from church on Sunday, loud and proud.

I’m from Chicago, Pork chops, mac n cheese.

From being an only child.

58

Reflections Don't Ever Quit

Written by James

What success means to me is that you achieve

something

that

you

worked

hard for. When I was on a basketball team

in

fifth

grade,

we

were

losing

and I wanted to quit, but my brother told me “Don’t ever quit.” Then we won the basketball game.

"He can’t break bread, he’s false."

- James

59

Jamir

"Time waits for no one else."

- Jamir 6 Word Memoir

My Idea Of Success Written by Jamir

I feel as if success means that everyone made it, don’t got to worry about paying no bills, no car problems, none of that.

If you’re rich, you’re getting money, you’re successful.

62

Jaylen

"Just do it.

Don’t fake it."

- Jaylen 6 Word Memoir

I Am From Written by Jaylen

I am from Chicago.

From Jordans and Nikes.

I am from the South Side.

Shooting, running, police chasing.

I am from plants in the house, The ones you see in gardens.

I’m from Church and praying.

From Auntie and Uncle I’m from spending time with each other and caring about each other.

From “Don’t touch nothing in the store" and “Don’t play in the street.”

I’m from believing in God but don’t go to church all the time.

I’m from Lewis and Collins From grapes and strawberries.

From my dad teaching me how to drive, Then my mom teaching me how to cook.

65

Reflections Kindergarten Graduation

Written by Jaylen

When people ask about my past, I tell them I don’t remember. I never really asked what my childhood was like, but I would occasionally remember it like playing having

outside a

lot

of

with

my

friends

fun.

When

I’m

and

alone

and think about my past, I remember my Kindergarten graduation. I woke up early having my mom happy. We got dressed about

in

all

getting

remember

white. my

being

I

was

clothes extremely

Success

nervous dirty.

I

happy

going across the stage.

My idea of success means that you’re living good or comfortable with how you’re living. If you’re enjoying yourself, I would say you are successful. I also say that if you achieved everything you wanted

that

successful.

66

also

means

you

are

Jeremiah

"Leave me alone.

I’m chasing bags."

- Jeremiah 6 Word Memoir

68

Reflections I Didn't Quit

Written by Jeremiah

Something I didn’t quit was basketball.

In Your Own Way

I’ve been playing since I was a little child. People think I’m not good at it because I play a lot, but when I

I believe you can do anything you put

actually play, they see how good I

your

really am at it.

possible.

mind

saying

to

Just

you

because because

can’t

anything

is

someone

is

doesn’t

mean

you

can’t. You can do anything, probably not the way everyone else thinks, but you can do it in your own way.

My Younger Self Things changed a lot because before I used to be able to go outside and go

Things Changed

to the park and play basketball outside my house. Now we can’t

Things changed a lot because before I

because of all the killing and

used to be able to go outside and go

shootings.

to the park and play basketball outside my house. Now we can’t because of all the killing and shootings.

69

Reflections Written by Jeremiah

Dear Future Self I hope you’re doing well and I hope you’re successful as you say you were.

Did your future dream come true? Are you there where you’re supposed to be? I wish things are better than they used to be.

What keeps me going?

Music and money.

It’s going to get better.

Nice friends.

Better future.

Just knowing you gotta keep going.

Someone not stopping you.

70

Kartisha

"There’s beauty in music, dance, butterflies."

- Kartisha 6 Word Memoir

Everybody can be successful Written by Kartisha

I think everybody can be successful in life if they put their mind to it and do their best. I also think that if you get advice from people that already made it, they can give you life steps to do to become what you want to be.

My life probably changed by not doing the same stuff I used to do as a child, like playing in the park with friends and having block parties, eating good foods, jumping in the bouncy house with a lot of people outside and having fun riding bikes.

I learned from myself that everybody ain’t your friends. I learned this because of a day I thought someone was my real friend that I could tell stuff and talk to them about my problems at a young age, until I found out how they were talking behind my back to other people I didn’t know.

I know that I want to leave Chicago, because they take people’s lives almost every day, and it’s scary to stay here. I would want to visit different places to see different things and learn more about other places. Like just really having fun with your life, making money, and being happy.

73

Kimora

"Expect disappointment.

You’ll never be disappointed."

- Kimora 6 Word Memoir

I Am From Written by Kimora

I am from snow cones From the SouthSide and kids love summer I am from the shots that happen every other night Patched grass, too cold, too warm I am from dandelions, purple flowers and white butterflies, they say white butterflies mean someone you know that has passed is around you I’m from movie night sundays and I don’t know who that is From Chasity and Damon I’m from the caring and work hard From say what’s on your mind and out and be yourself I’m from you don’t need to believe in God, To God is not a man I’m from Chicago Don’t eat sweets before you go to sleep, Mac and cheese, Italian beef From the Chasity who work everyday to help her kids The Damon who has anger issues and OCD but makes sure you straight Pictures in my auntie house in a box To they’re all faded memories

76

Dear Dead Beat Written by Kimora

Dear Dead Beat,

I don’t like you. I hate you. I don’t claim you as family. You wrong for leaving. You was actually cool, but mannn you caused so many problems with your OCD and anger problem and drinking problem. I’m glad my momma left your sorry a**. You made her hate you and you was her first love, and I don’t need to look over my momma everyday because you’re mean and don’t deserve me. All them father daughter dances that I missed and wished you was there. I wished you was there just like my momma.

I don’t miss you. I just wish you was there for your first child like you are for them other kids. I just want the pain to go away. I don’t know man. I just really hate you and you’re an asshole. Sometimes I wish you was there. Other times I wanna scream and cry because you really hurt me.

77

Dear Everyone Written by Kimora

I think you could be anything if your reasoning is good. But if it’s something where you can’t see yourself in ten years, maybe it’s not for you.

Sometimes you have to have a backup plan.

Most people need one when they are trying to get to the NBA. Some people don’t make it and others give up.

If you’re trying to become a lawyer or a doctor, it’s possible, but something you need to give up if you’re not going to make plans or a SMART goal.

Maybe it’s not for you.

78

Reflections If I Had a Time Machine

Written by Kimora

If I had a time machine, I would change how I acted in the past and how I didn’t ask for help sooner or

Leaving Chicago

when I was in my darkest moment and was there by myself. Or when I didn’t

A

get a chance to tell my grandma or

lot

of

people

said

they

want

to

leave. Some said they didn’t cause it’s

uncle that I love them before they

home. Here’s my thing. When you travel

passed. There were a lot of things I

and been out the state and country, it

would change.

feels

so

Orland,

different. everything

When felt

I

was

more

in

alive.

Maybe because I don’t live there. I did watch my back, but it was different than what I feel in Chicago. But at the

What Keeps Me Going

same

What keeps me moving is my little

have to worry about getting killed and

brother and money and family and

getting shot. But as I grew up, I didn’t

friends and my future and what life’s

understand anything. I just want more

got planned for me.

for my brother.

time,

my

little

brother

doesn’t

need to live in Chicago. I want him to have a childhood and be free and not

79

Malik

"Hard workers around.

We win together" - Malik 6 Word Memoir

I Am From Written by Malik

I am from the ‘raq.

From chicken and nachos.

I am from a cold, dangerous, loving city.

Blue, dangerous, that smells like marijuana.

I am from dandelions, bright, calm, pretty.

I’m from early Christmas presents and eggnog.

From my momma and Drea.

I’m from the caring and loud.

From “You’re smart” and “You’re dumb.”

I’m from church on Sundays, loud and careful.

I’m from Chicago, Illinois.

Pizza and chicken wings.

From being the middle child, The golden money-maker.

Smart technicians, malls on Christmas.

82

Reflections Written by Malik

I Wanna Leave Chicago The whole society changed. Like everyone’s mindset and more people don’t act how they used to, and lots of people lose their morals.

I wanna leave Chicago during the winter, because it’s too cold out here during that time and it gets dangerous most of the time. So I would wanna go somewhere more safe and comfortable.

83

Marshawn

"Can’t play ball out of bounds."

- Marshawn 6 Word Memoir

I Am From Written by Marshawn

I am from the park From Jordans and Vlone I am from a full house Sister, mom, brother I am from grass, What I walk on I’m from long hair and money From LJ and Melly I’m from the cracking jokes and cleaning up From go to school and go outside I’m from I don’t go to church, I don’t know why I’m from Chicago Chicken, steak From the granny with 17 kids

86

Mikayla

"I stand my ground for me."

- Mikayla 6 Word Memoir

I Am From Written by Mikayla

I am from a city where nobody cares about other people.

From shoes and hoodies.

I am from the Southside of Chicago, JJ Fish, bowling, good.

I am from roses and trees, Red roses and big trees.

I am from a big family and lots of friends.

From Bre and Shay.

I’m from a family that’s late and clean.

From learning how to make money on my own And keep my room clean.

I’m from doing stuff I need to do as far as going to work.

I’m from dad’s side from Mississippi And mom’s side from Chicago.

From taking family trips with my sisters and brothers.

The family sticks together in India and LA.

89

Reflections What Chicago Needs

Written by Mikayla

I feel like my life changed because I used to go outside without worrying about getting killed, kidnapped, raped, anything. Now people feel like they can’t go outside at all.

I feel like Chicago really needs to do better at things they’re doing. Like all this killing does not need to be going on. We all just need to get along with each other. We all can come up with fun ideas we can do to be able to change all the killing.

"Be strong.

Be great.

Be healthy."

- Mikayla 90

Quinton

"Salt and sugar look the same."

- Quinton 6 Word Memoir

Dear Future Self Written by Quinton

Today we talked about if people determine what happens to them. I agree and disagree because I feel like you get what you deserve. Your actions determine your outcome.

I believe to be able to accomplish anything, you have to know it’s possible.

Something unrealistic is just not going to happen. Like if I say I’m going to be seven feet, no matter how hard I work, it just may not happen, because of genes or how I work. Maybe, but if it’s realistic, it’s possible in my eyes.

Always improve. Don’t let goofies hold you back. You’re great at everything. You’re gonna make it.

From you, duh.

93

Reflections Written by Quinton

Dear Black Jesus Yo! My name is Quinton and I just want to ask: What is the meaning of life and what purpose do I serve in this world? Why was I created and do I really have a purpose?

"My shoes tied.

I’m done tripping."

- Quinton

94

Radsheen

"Tony Hawk.

I’m on my grind."

- Radsheen 6 Word Memoir

I Am From Written by Radsheen

I am from WWE action figures.

From ACG boots and Timbs in the winter And white 1’s and Jordans in the summer.

I am from that house on 82nd and Green, big , full of family and good times.

I am from the South Side of Chicago, Drill rap, 6 piece fried hard, and Doritos with cheese and meat.

I’m from playing killer man and fighting my cousins, From my brothers, and my grandma’s crib.

I’m from the hothead, fashionable, and petty family.

From “You got McDonalds money?” and “We got food in the house.”

I’m from not going to church, but believing in God. I’m from Holy Cross, a real Chicago baby.

Gumbo, seafood, and wings.

From the hard headed, bad ass kids, always fighting, And gang banging family.

The child that has three sisters, and two brothers Who all have different mothers.

Who never really knew his father And was raised by his mother and grandmother.

Lack of family photos, Which is bad because very little moments were captured.

97

Dear Older Me Written by Radsheen

I am writing this because I want to know what life changing decisions did you have to make? What have we become? How are we doing mentally, physically, and financially? I know we can be dumb at times, so please don’t tell me you got us locked up. I’m hoping you become what you wanted to become in life, still date the girl you’re currently with, and sat down somewhere and maybe had one or two kids. I also hope that you have grown and matured. What I mean by that is balancing your schedule and is good with time management.

You should believe that you can be what you want to be in life because having that mindset is good, which means you have confidence. To get through life, you need to be strong and have confidence, because when chasing a dream, there’s going to be ups and downs. In life you also need balance, especially when doing something because a lot of the times in life things could be a hit or miss.

You’re doing ok. Keep thriving.

98

Life Isn’t How it Used to Be Written by Radsheen

Life isn’t how it used to be. I feel that way because as we get older, reality hits us. And with the youth now it hits early due to certain situations people put themselves in. In Chicago gang violence is a big thing.

Something that has changed was the way my mother treats me. I get treated as a young adult. I get way more freedom.

I don’t have to ask to go outside most of the time.

If you are young doing that you would have to think like an adult, and even be ready to go to jail. Most people think it’s cute or a game when it’s not.

A time I learned a lesson was when I was staying at my mom’s old house.

We were apparently living in a hood that “belonged” to gang members. The guys they were into it with would shoot at them a lot, and it caught them off guard every time.

That taught me to keep my head on a swivel.

99

Shariell

"They don’t believe you?

Show them!"

- Shariell 6 Word Memoir

I Am From Written by Shariell

I am from using my phone all day.

From sitting in the bed and not going outside.

I am from the West and South sides of Chicago.

Good food, violence, and CTA bus smell.

I am from where there’s a lot of grass and the back of my house.

I am from where my family goes outside every weekend And stays inside every week.

From Mother and Brother and Sister.

I am from the loudness and kindness.

From “Come in when the street lights come on.”

And “Don’t run in and out my house!”

102

Spirit

"I am lost in this world."

- Spirit 6 Word Memoir

I Am From Written by Spirit

I am from my grandma’s house.

From playing outside and no shoes.

I am from the South Side, Apartment, little expensive, chilling in bed on my phone.

I am from plants around the house, Medium green with a brown box.

I’m from throwing big parties and riding around listening to music.

From Pascha and Lawrence.

I’m from the loud and late.

From “Watch your surroundings” and “You something else.”

I’m from going to church on Sundays, even on holidays.

I’m from Chicago, Illinois, Mac n cheese, pot roast.

105

Reflections Written by Spirit

Im Lost in this World I’m lost in this world.

I don’t know who I am. I’m fifteen years old, ready to be on my own, not being told what to do. But in reality if I could relive my life, I would. I want to tell my younger self I’m sorry about everything.

Right now today I get deep in my thoughts, wanting to cry. I realize I’ll never get over what I experience. It hurts knowing that I'm really messed up about what I experienced when I was

Letting Go

younger.

It was hard letting go of things I really loved and was attached to. It’s still hard, but I’m realizing my life will be better and peaceful when I let it all go. My mind has let it go, but my heart seems like it would never.

106

Trevion

I Am From Written by Trevion

I am from good food, Hot wings and nachos.

I am from the park up the street, Dangerous, thoughtless, energy in the air.

I am from brown skin, Beautiful and natural.

I’m from eating seafood and getting presents on Christmas From Edwina and Twan I’m from the lying and caring From “Everybody aint your friend.” and “Be a leader not a follower.”

I’m from tacos Sunday when we used to go to church.

I’m from St. Bernards, crab legs and shrimp, Chicken wings and burgers.

From the loving auntie, stingy sister, bad brother.

The bad ass lil cousin, Photos in the living room to show family times.

108

Reflections Written by Trevion

My Idea of Success My idea of success is passing high school, passing college, getting on scholarship, and getting a degree, and doing big things, and running big companies and other businesses, taking care of your family and leading them

Dear Ms. Ambrose

through challenges the right way.

My name is Trevion. I wanted to write a

letter

to

my

math

teacher

for

helping me finish work that was very difficult

"Always stay low and never change."

for

me

and

helping

me

understand more so I can learn on my own. Thank you for teaching me and showing

me

how

to

obstacles. I am thankful.

Sincerely,

- Trevion 6 Word Memoir

109

Trevion

get

past

Around ESHS

"Until the lion learns to write their own story, tales of the hunt will always glorify the hunter."

- African Proverb

Front cover image by Kalief Dinkins

All photographs by Dimitri Hepburn

Book design by Naimah Thomas