Finally Heard: Stories From Students of Emil G. Hirsch High School

Finally Heard

In collaboration with:

"Until the lion learns to write their own story, tales of the hunt will always glorify the hunter."

- African Proverb

The ConTextos Authors Circle was developed in collaboration with young people experiencing, navigating, surviving complex traumas in El Salvador. In 2017, this innovative program expanded into Chicago to create tangible, high quality opportunities that nourish the minds, expand the voices and share the personal truths of individuals who have long been underserved and underestimated. Through the process of drafting, revising, and publishing memoirs, participants strengthen self-reflection, critical thinking, camaraderie and positive self-projection to author new life narratives.

Finally Heard is a compilation of memoirs from high school students of Emil G. Hirsch Metropolitan High School. ConTextos partnered with the Hirsch learning community to launch the Hirsch Authors Circle. Authors Circle reflects a space of meaningful connections, reflections, conversations and creation for important young people navigating multiple challenges and opportunities in Chicago.

The pieces in this compilation harness the power of personal truths and lift up important, authentic voices. Our thanks to everyone who made this journey possible: Hirsch’s leadership team, staff and the brave and talented authors!

May Finally Heard complicate narratives and embolden the vision of vibrant futures for young people of Hirsch and all generations of learners, teachers and seekers near and far.

Every iteration of Authors Circle is an opportunity to build a micro-community connected by the bonds that naturally form when people share their stories. In Authors Circle we get to know one another and we get to know ourselves as we reflect on our experiences. As a facilitator of this Authors Circle, I was honored to be welcomed into this learning community both by Authors in this Circle and the friendly faculty and staff at Emil G.Hirsch Metropolitan High School.

This Authors Circle journey was one of reflection and projection. Together we reflected on the commonality of our experiences as well as the unique paths each of our lives has taken. We also projected ourselves into the future, envisioning the possibilities that may lie ahead of us both as individuals and as a community.

Young people across the world, and perhaps especially here in Chicago, long to be heard. Finally Heard is an opportunity for the individuals in this Authors Circle to have their voices heard. At the same time, this publication presents an opportunity for everyone in Chicago and beyond to finally listen to what they have to say. These young Authors showed bravery, vulnerability, and creativity. They've been Finally heard.

Jonathan, ConTextos Author Circle Facilitator

Your heart broken you’llget stronger.

A SIX WORD MEMOIR

I am from West Englewood.

From animals and art.

I am from the people, the mother and father that raised me.

I am from the tall apartment buildings that shine their shadows over me.

The colorful flowers and trees packed with flowers and leaves.

I’m from the earth and nature.

From the money that put clothes on my back, And from the green grass that the animals run on.

I’m from the city with art and creativity, And from death that hasn’t taken me.

I’m from the earth that brings me pain but also life.

I’m from Chicago, Illinois.

From the Chinese food and sweets that fill me.

From the father who named me China girl.

I am from Anxiety.

Nobody, since you asked, I’ll tell you why I’m so creative…

Because I know how to draw.

Because I like art.

Because I can cook & bake.

Because I know how to create different things.

Because I can use My creativity to be myself.

Because you never asked me.

Because I can help people.

Because I can & will use my creativity to create things.

Because art can be anything.

Because I am creative.

Because I want to be.

Because I am me.

I am not a people person. I am creative. I want to start a business. I am a caring and thoughtful person. I don’t not call people my friends but I do have acquaintances and associates. I remember a time when I was in elementary school. I thought this person was my friend until I found out she wasn’t. She was talking crap and belittling me, and then I just snapped and I kicked her in the face.

I create a lot of art. I want to start a business with the things I learned I helped a lot of people; students and teachers by giving them cards, got paperwork for them, helped them with their work. I don’t have friends and never will.

Broken walls withafull room.

A SIX WORD MEMOIR

I am from 55th

From my Grandmother and the Corner Store

I am from green grass & outside smelling fresh & clean

I am from where the park is the spot

It’s loud, but fun but also violent.

I’m from where me and mama, we would go out

From 8-11 to SkyZone & McDonalds with me & my siblings. And from me asking my neighborhood friends if they want to play jump rope.

I’m from “don’t trust no one because they won’t get you nowhere but killed or in jail.”

And “boys only want one thing.”

I’m from trying to get a job at a young age to help I’m from 55th Street.

Since you asked I” ll tell you why I’m so sad.

Because I lost you at 13.

Because I thought you would be here

Because I thought you would wait for me.

Because I needed you when I had no one

Because I knew if I kept you I would hurt more.

I always wanted to go on a mountain and scream at the top of my lungs.

I’ve always wanted to see a rainbow cake.

I want to go to Miami to look around, meet new people, and take pictures. I’m going to get a job when I leave school and go to Florida for college. I am going to be a nurse.

My main goal is to accomplish the goals I set for myself after high school. A change I would like to see is to have more peace and less violence.

I am going somewhere far from negativity.

I am going to travel for the better.

I am going to be matured.

I am going to be rich.

I am going to be positive.

I am going to be great.

I am going to be happy.

I hope people remember me as a good person.

I can’t talk to you how I want to because you ' re someone I can’t see. I really miss you and want to speak to you one last time, so you can help me fix my emotions and tell me my next steps.

Don'tgive people to-go plates.

A SIX WORD MEMOIR

I am from K Town

From vacant lots and broken dreams.

I am from bold mosaic, red house with trees

I am from waterparks

I’m from my brother and cousin.

From gettin’ fried

And from loving.

I’m from “stop running in and out,”

And from “sit down.”

I’m from life is life

I’m from the West Side.

From pizza, From my brother Cap

I am from greatness.

Mom, Since you asked I’ll tell you why I’m So hurt.

Because I lost my brother at an early age.

Because I didn't expect to live the rest of my life without him.

Because my brother isn't in my room everyday any more.

Because without him I feel so lost

Because I lost both of my brothers in less than 5 months.

Because I lost my brother and didn't get to see him have kids.

Because he didn't have kids to continue his legacy.

Because I Don't like being sober

Because I can’t get Everything out my mind.

Because he did not live enough

Because I talked to him before he died and didn't know that was my last time talking to him.

Because both my brothers gone and I don’t how to handle it.

Because I lost too many people at an early age.

I lost my brother, my bestie, my everything, my rappy

Because I lost my Grandad, great auntie, both my uncles and both my brothers.

I am going above and beyond.

I am going to live my life.

I am going to the stars.

I am going to live my dream.

I am going to be a doctor

Help people survive.

I am going to take care of my Family

I am going to be rich.

I am going to be me.

Life is hard but you have to do everything in your power to make sure you ' re happy. Don’t try to make other people happy if you ' re not happy.

You're not gonna end up happy in the long run. You can’t really make people happy if you ' re not happy.

Live life to the fullest. Don’t try to be like anybody, be yourself, that’s how you ' re gonna……..

Loveme, hateme, neva change.

A SIX WORD MEMOIR

The world, since you asked, I’ll tell you why I’m so hurt and mad.

Because of my past

Because I’m lost and confused

Because I wake up and realize that my brother is not coming back.

Because I’m hurt I couldn’t say bye or I love you one last time.

Because I’m mad that I had to wake up to a text.

Because I’m hurt that I lost you.

Because I’m mad that you can’t be here.

Because I admit that I feel lost

And Because I admit that I’m hurt and mad

Because I lost my brother, my best friend, My Forever Friend.

I admit that, that is the reason I am the way I am.

I'm hurt, yes.

Because I realize I can't have you back as I reminisce about you throughout the Day.

So yes, I’m hurt and mad.

I always wanted to have my own hair salon and start my own business.

I always wanted to sit down and just see the mountains. If I could go anywhere in the world, I would go to the Bahamas, because it looks nice and enjoyable for a vacation, and I always wanted to go there.

I look forward to going to college and having my own business. A goal I’ve set for myself after high school is to accomplish all the goals I have.

My attitude is something I want to see change, as well as the violence.

I will leave behind my kindness and the business that I will have.

That will be my legacy.

Started Off

A time when I did a sport and started off bad was basketball. I didn't know all the rules and calls and I didn't know how to dribble or shoot. But as the years passed and I kept playing I got better and as I got better I started playing better in games.

Kind

I feel like I have a kind, caring, loving, thoughtful and very helpful personality that nobody really knows about.

Theysaw mebut didnt know me.

A SIX WORD MEMOIR

I am from 79th

From the Red line and gas stations.

I am from a big, green brick house with a little yard

I am from pretty plants and flowers of all kinds of colors, Especially the red ones.

I’m from my mom Shari and my sister Kiki. From going out to eat with both of them at the Cheesecake Factory Having chicken alfredo and strawberry cheesecake for dessert.

And from my mom and her boyfriend being funny and making me laugh.

I’m from “don’t have that school be calling me, ”

And from “don’t come home too late.”

I’m from being a Christian.

I’m from Belize.

From ribs and BBQ chicken.

From Kirk. I am from Home.

I’m from excitement.

Since you asked I’ll Tell you why I’m mad.

Because I didn't get to smoke and free my mind before school.

Because I don't like females hitting me in the face.

Because I don't like people being disrespectful and dumb things.

Because I’m hungry and I didn't bring my money.

Because I don't like to get lied on.

Because I will be in school sober.

Because I don't like being accused of things I didn't do.

Because these students be disrespectful to the older people who be looking out for them.

I am going to Jamaica

To see the land

I am going back home to Belize

To see my family

I am going to Mexico.

I am going to join the Army.

I am going to California.

I am going to join a soccer team.

My trip from Belize to Chicago was fun. So on this bright Saturday morning I was laying in my bed and I heard someone pulling something like a carry on bag, and it stopped at my room door, then I heard someone knock at my door. So I get up to open the door and it was my mom telling me I’m about to go to Chicago with my brother. I knew he was coming but I didn't know I was going too. I was so happy and excited.

So I got up and started to put on my outfit my mom bought for me to travel in, then later that afternoon I saw my other brother pull up at my house in a van and it was time to go and i got so emotional and my eyes was teary, then off we drove headed to the airport.

When we got there I was so sad because I had to leave my family behind and was not finna see them in a long time. Then it was time to leave and I got so sad looking at my family walking away from me and I went on the plane and started crying.

Dear Pops,

I miss you so much it’s been 1 year and 3 months since I’ve seen you. I love and appreciate you so much. I really want to reunite with you because I need you in my life, as a teenager to show me steps in life and how to be a man.

I can't wait to hug you when you come and see me dad. You are a special person I really need. I know you wasn't around when I was a kid, but I understand why you wasn’t around.

I understand now, like how I am as a teenager. You made mistakes, but I’m going to be one of your sons who gone make you proud pops.

Hope to see you soon pops. I love you.

A SIX WORD MEMOIR

Dad, since you asked I’ll tell you why I’m so lost.

Because you were not understanding.

Because you grew up different.

Because you chose me over the others.

Because you hit me for unnecessary reasons.

Because you yelled about everything.

Because you left.

Give, youtake, it'sacycle

A SIX WORD MEMOIR

I am from the 100s

From corner gas stations and back to school parties in front of my house

I am from fighting in the streets and running barefoot outside

I am from brick houses and gunshots and kids running everywhere

From flowers and bugs

I’m from dandelions and worms and roses

From you gonna fight her sisters

And from sculpture making with my little sister and mom

I’m from laughing til I cry and coloring in a book

And from “ come back before the street lights come on ”

I’m from “don’t talk to no boys and be fast.”

I’m from Chicago.

From gas station sandwiches and 99 cent pops

I am from “don’t let nobody push you around,” from my mama

I am from non stop arguing and parties around the block.

I am going to become an art seller

Watercolors and pastel. Purple is my favorite.

I am going to see a whale

I am going to France

It’s pretty out there.

I am going to college to study art and to become an entrepreneur

I am going to start my own business

The change I want to see is less violence in my city

I am going to leave something behind It will be my own business selling art and clothes.

Alex, since you asked, I’ll tell you why I’m so artistic.

Because my mind is open.

Because I wonder when I think.

Because I like things made by me.

Because I enjoy doing new things.

Because I like taking things and putting them together.

Because I’m an artistic person.

Because I love to draw and paint.

Because things look better in color

Because I love cartoons.

Because I love having fun.

Because my imagination runs wild.

Because the mind is so freely expressed.

Because that’s how I am.

I was around 10 when this happened. My mom and sisters were yelling at some girls. An half hour later we all ended up going to sleep. Hours later I got woken up by my brother. I was surrounded by smoke and flames. I was scared so my brother grabbed me and dragged me out the house through the backdoor. My family was already outside. It was around 3am and the fire fighters came and we left for the hospital for a check up because I was sick.

Wrestling and football was 2 of the main sports I played not professionally but my brothers who were good in those categories helped me and I would play with them in my back yard. I would either throw the ball or be on defense attacking the other team. I was struggling but soon got better and would play once in a while but that was when I was 12 and 13. Now I don't play anymore.

I feel like most people don't know that I’m a Very Dark person. Even though I don’t show it and I’m a good listener, but half the time I don't care if it's nothing big.

And I’m an artist person and a good cook.

When I say when I’m a good listener because I would sit with them and listen to them and give good advice.

And when I say I'm dark I would call you a monkey and etc. I like dark humor.

All photographs by Dimitri Hepburn

Book design by Naimah Thomas