My Heart
The ConTextos Authors Circle was developed in collaboration with young people at-risk of, victims of, or perpetrators of violence in El Salvador. In 2017 this innovative program expanded into Chicago to create tangible, high quality opportunities that nourish the minds,,expand the voices and share the personal truths of individuals who have long been underserved and underestimated. Through the process of drafting, revising and publishing memoirs, participants develop self-reflection, critical thinking, camaraderie and positive selfprojection to author new life narratives.
Since January 2017 ConTextos has partnered with Cook County Sheriff's Office to implement Authors Circle in Cook County Department of Corrections as part of a vision for reform that recognizes the value of mental health, rehabilitation and reflection. These powerful memoirs complicate the narratives of violence and peace building, and help author a hopeful future for human beings behind walls, their families and our collective communities.
While each author’s text is solely the work of the Author, the image used to create this book’s illustrations have been sourced by various print publications. Authors curate these images and then, using only their hands, manipulate the images through tearing, folding, layering and careful positioning. By applying these collage techniques, Authors transform their written memoirs into illustrated books.
This project is being supported, in whole or in part, by federal award number ALN 21.027 awarded to Cook County by the U.S. Department of the Treasury.
JT Krismanits My Heart
October 19th 1999, in Las Vegas Nevada, my mom had me. she raised me and my siblings there until I was about 3 years old.
We lived in a bad area so my mom moved us to Illinois hoping for a better lifestyle. My mom has always been my best friend, my heart, the person I can go to for anything. right or wrong, my mom has always had my back.
Ever since I was about 5 years old, I was in sports. I remember my mom never missing a single game or tournament out of the 13 years of me being in sports. But I remember this one time when I gave her a hard time for missing one tournament. LOL
I can remember seeing my mom cry because life was so hard and at that moment I knew when I grew up she was never going to have to work or cry again.
Ican
'timaginelifewithouther.Growingupitwasalwaysastruggle,Whetheritwasbillsbeingpaid,tofoodbeingputonthetable.
Body
But my mom always made sure we were good. There were times it was hard to keep a roof over our head.
I remember when I was a kid, we had to sleep at our friend's house or even in a motel and at one point a car.
MyoldersisterJaylynnwasalwaysreallyprotectiveevenifsomeonelookedatmethewrong wayshewasreadytofightlol.
ShewassomeoneIcanalwayscountonforanything.Everyoneknowsmeforalways playingaround.MyoldersisterhasOCDandneedseverythingspotless.
Sogrowingupweusedtowalktoherroom,knocksomethingoverandthenwalkoutjust laughing.MyfamilywouldgetmadbecauseallIdidwasplayaroundbuttheystilllovedme lmao.
Iremembersomekidontheteamranheroverandthoughtitwasfunny , solateron whenweweredoingangletacklingIcutafewpeopleinline , soIlinedupwithhim.Whenwegottoourturnhedidn'tknowthatIknewheranmysisterover. Sowhenthe coachblewthewhistle , IranandhithimsohardhewentstraightonhisbackandIinstantlystartedlaughing.
MylittlesisterJackie , that'smytwin. AnythingIdid/doinlife , shewasbymyside. Fromhangingoutwiththeguys , togoingtograbsomefood , toevenbeingon thesamefootballteamwhenwewerekids.
My sisters I would do anything for, they are my best friends.
Growing up me and my siblings were all always close. My older sister Jaylynn had my nephew a little before I got locked up. I remember holding him and he was literally the size of both my hands. That's my boy though.
Even though he's a baby I'm always playing around with him. While being locked up and they come to visit, it's like it makes me feel like I'm back out there with them.
Seeing my family smile and my nephew growing up so fast just gives me more motivation every day to be and to do better. To be back out there taking care of them and making sure they are good.
I can count on my hands how many people have been there for me at my lowest and they are a select few that I never had to question. Their love and loyalty will always be remembered and never forgotten.
There are peoplethat will come and goinlifebutblood and myfamilyisforever.Ilove you guys.No matter what,it'll alwaysbe you guys.
SittingheremakesmethinkbacktowhenIwasinmiddleschoolwhenIusedtogetin trouble,mymomhavingtomoveusawaytoadifferenthighschoolsowewerenot surroundedbybadinfluences.Bloodandmyfamilyisforever.Iloveyouguys.Nomatter what,it'llalwaysbeyouguys.
Thatmovemademeanewman.ItchangedmycircleandIstarteddoingbetterin school,turninginmyhomework,andactuallystudyingfortests.AfterIstartedchangingI realizedmymomwasn'tstressinganymore.Shewashappy.Changingmywayswaswhat gotmeintocollege.Notalotofpeoplecansaytheyevenhadthechancetogoto college.
Doing that made my mom proud and that's the only thing that matters. Also, getting out and making sure my nephew has me as a role model, showing him how to be a man. A huge reason for change is when I was younger I was always hanging around the wrong group of friends.
Ihadafriendwhowouldalwaysdodrugsanddrink.Ialwaystoldhimthat'snotthelife tolive.Hedidn'tlistenandendedupoverdosingonedayanddied.Thatmademeopen upmyeyesandstartgrowingandchoosingmypath.
Not coming home when my mom asked, since I was under her roof smoking and drinking at a young age, I thought it was cool to disobey my mom ' s rules. I remember my principal would always say ‘ show me your friends and I'll show you your future.” As I got older I realized that he just wanted to see me take the right path in life along with my mom.
I'm going to get out and start my career, and make sure my family will never be hungry again. I will start my own business by going back to college and pursuing my career, and being successful so my family can live life and relax.
I Am From
I am from Kankakee
JT Krismanits
From tough times and a happy family
I am from tears, dark times, happy moments, loved ones
I am from fresh air, and rainy days
Walking outside seeing rainy/sunny days
I’m from my mom and my sisters
From going on road trips to traveling the world
And from hope and love
I’m from you always been a leader not a follower
And from show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future
I’m from with God all things are possible
I’m from Las Vegas, Nevada
From Kung Pow chicken and chicken tacos
From pops aka Mom
I am from the struggle to never giving up
Until the lion learns to write their own story, tales of the hunt will always glorify the hunter - African Proverb
