Le Bébé
“Until the lion writes his own story, the tale of the hunt will always glorify the hunter.” The Soy Autor writing process was developed in collaboration with young affected by violence in El Salvador. In 2017, this innovative program expanded into Chicago to create tangible, high quality opportunities that nourish the minds, expand the voices and share the personal truths of individuals who have long been underserved and underestimated.Through the process of drafting, revising, illustrating and publishing memoirs, the Authors’ Circle participants develop self-reflection, critical thinking, camaraderie, and positive self-projection to create new life narratives.
In collaboration with:
Le Bébé Christian Ruiz
I didn’t have her in none of my classes, but I would always see her in the hallways. I decided to go up to her and start talking to her. We clicked right away. I would meet her in the foyer and walk her to all her classes. As we walked to her classes she would laugh at all my jokes, even if they weren’t funny.
We would hang out a lot aaer school and were inseparable like thorns on a rose. I was hanging out at my brother in law’s house and I texted her to come over. We hung out and smoked, then she told me she had to go.
I didn’t want her to go because I loved spending me with her, but I let her go. I walked her all the way to the front of the hood, then “BAM!” she kissed me goodbye. That was our first kiss. I was in shock and she kissed me goodbye again. So that was that.
I didn’t see her in school the next day or the day aaer that. So I called her. She didn’t answer. I texted her. She didn’t reply. AAer a week, she finally answered my texts. It turns out the day that she had to go, the day of our first kiss, she almost lost her life in a car accident. She was with her friends cruising around and they were all high and drunk. So they decided to cruise on a road called Cuba Road, which is a road many of my friends have lost their lives on. Not just my friends, but many others as well.
Anyways my girl at the me went with her friends over to that road. She was siing in the middle back seat of a Nissan Allma. They were driving fast on a back road up a hill. The car flipped over and people said that it rolled like a soccer ball being passed around a soccer field. When the car came to a complete stop aaer being rolled over, the car was upside down.
As she struggled to get out of the car, the person next to her kicked the window and smashed it open. My girl got out, took two steps and fell on the ground. She woke up at the hospital aaer all that commooon. AAer she told me what happened to her, I immediately wanted to see her. She wasn’t going to school because she had a broken leg or knee.
So I had stopped going to school because I was too busy going over to her house and taking care of her. So we grew much closer to each other by me just being there for her. By the me she healed, we hadn’t gone to school for about a whole year. We got so used to being together and not going to school. I had talked her into us going back to school, so we decided to do so.
I had only went for half of a school year, then I stopped going once again. That was the last me I went to high school. AAer a couple of months of me leaving high school and never ever going back, she had stopped going as well. AAer us not having much to do, all I did was spend me with her. I would wake up early, get ready as if I’m going to school. AAer I walked out the door I would go straight to her house.
We had a rouune where I would wait a couple of minutes for her mother to leave for work. Once she lee that was my cue to walk right in. Our sneakiness caught up with us and from all that she ended up living with me at my house. We would wake up to each other every day. Everything was good.
My family one day ended up movin out and I didn’t want to go with them. So we both packed our things and moved right into her house. We both ended up geeng jobs so we can help each other, and also help her mother and father, with the expenses.
We did everything together. We were living together. We were a team. Like Bonnie and Clyde. Like the Joker and Harley Quinn type of relaaonship We were partners in crime. The world was ours.
It was New Year’s Eve and 2014 was upon us. We were both in the comfort of our own home. We decide to celebrate there. We were drinking, having a good me. Super wasted. The new year came and she had started throwing up a lot!! I knew that was not herself. Something is up!
“Damn, Babe, you that drunk? You never thrown up.” She said, “I’m not even that drunk. All the liquor is just coming out.”
I believed her because I know her so well. she could speak right and walk perfect. I thought to myself, “Hmm that’s a lil weird. This has never happened.” A few weeks later we were laying down watching TV one night. I caught her looking at her stomach. It seemed to me then and there that she had somewhat of a bump. So I told her, “You look pregnant!” She got angry at me because she thought I was basically telling her that she looked fat.
AAer a few weeks passed, her stomach was looking a liile suspect to me. Meaning now I was freaking out, but in an excited way. So I bought about five pregnancy tests and I told her to use all five of them at once to let me know the outcome of it. We waited and waited a few minutes which to me felt like hours and hours. So finally all five tests came up to say pregnant!
We were so excited as a liile kid at a toy store. Her mom and dad were the first to know. A few days later her mom had made liile beanies in colors that could be for a boy and a girl. She had made four of them. At that point we ssll did not know the sex of the baby yet. The day had finally come when I had to let my mom know the good news. I was really nervous. One because I am her only son and also because I am the youngest.
My mom was in her room watching TV as calm as a swan in a lake. As I turn the door knob to her room, my heart was beaang really fast.
Goosebumps on my arms and chills down my neck and spine. I opened her door and told her I needed to show her something. She was already looking at me with her, “Que Paso ahora? (What happened now)?” face. I take out my phone and go to a picture of the four liile beanies and say, “Cual de esta te gusta?” (Which one do you like beeer?)
She looks at me as if I‘m crazy. Then she asks me, “Kate esta prena? (Is Kate having a baby?)” I told her, “Si (Yeah).” She starts crying of joy and calls my sisters and tells them the good news. My mom asked me if it’s a boy or a girl. I told her I don’t know yet. Me and my girl had made an appointment to see what’s the deal.
So we went to the doctor’s and went to a liile dark lit room with a monitor and a bed. She lays down and I sat next to her. The doctor puts jelly on her stomach and turns on the monitor to start looking at the baby. As I saw the head of my child on the screen I felt some type of happiness over me. It was the best feeling in the world. Turns out that my baby’s mother has been pregnant for five months! So that very same day we were able to find out if we were having a boy or a girl.
The doctor keeps looking at the screen invessgaang the baby. She asked us if we were ready to find out the sex of the baby. We both said yea. So she tells us the baby is a girl. We looked at each other with excitement. Knowing that I was going to have a liile princess made me feel like the king of the world.
We were done with the appointment and headed out that door. I felt unstoppable, like nothing could stop me. But there was a weight on my shoulders that just got a liile more heavier on me which was my life on the streets.
Gangbanging and geeng arrested. Longgme enemies waiing to confront me. I mean come on, they lived right across the street.
We got home and I immediately called my mother and sisters to share the good news. My mother instantly started to cry tears of joy. My sisters were happy to know they were going to be aunts to a beauuful girl. This would be my mother’s third grandchild.
Days and weeks pass by and liile by liile, we’re buying clothes for our beauuful liile princess. I had gooen a job at a landscaping company because they were paying me good money in cash. My girl’s sister would always drop me off at 6:30am in the morning. Shovels, lawn mowers, gas and other tools would be thrown in the trunk of a van. Even though I didn’t have a license, I was ssll be the one driving.
Around the first week of working at my new job, I was at a house with my team in downtown Arlington Heights. It was a really hot day. Sweat racing down my eyes and down my back. One of my co-workers had told me that my mother had called and to call her back ASAP. I didn’t have a phone at the me. So when I was done construccng a parking way at a house, I called my mom back and she told me in a hurried voice,“Donde estas? Mandame la direccion de donde estas trabajando?” (Send me the address so I can go pick you up.) tr
She told me that my girl was at the hospital with countless various contraccons. We hung up aaer my mom saying she is on her way. I told my supervisor that I was leaving due to my baby being born. Of course he said it’s fine, because he already knew the situaaon. As my mom picked me up, we hurried home so I can quickly shower and change due to the fact that I was dirty from work.
As we lee the house on our way to the hospital, I was nervous scared, worried. Just full of overflowing emooons. As I got to the hospital I was in search of my girl. I checked in aaer I told the nurse that’s my child. As I walk in the room, my baby’s mother was laying down on the bed all prepared to have a baby. The nurse said the baby was geeng into posiion.
I had to walk around with her through the hospital so she can dilate a few cennmeters. Holding hands, walking in the hallways, two pieces of bread with much love between us. We were silent, anxious and ready for our lives to change forever!!!
We went back to the room. The team of doctors checked her. They said the baby is ready to come out. Another team of doctors came rushing in. They set her up for labor. The only people I wanted there was her mom and my mother. As she began to push I felt within myself that my life was changing in seconds.
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I never experienced pregnancy and birth first hand. Since high school I never learned or knew how it looked. So as she is pushing I was curious to take a peek. I stood up and saw a head coming out. I sat back down, super freaked out by what I just saw. She kept pushing and pushing unnl I heard my child for the first me ever.
Her cries were like a church choir to my ears.
They quickly gave me some type of clippers to snap off her umbilical cord. I snapped it off then quickly put her on a liile bed. SSll crying while I watch over her. They cleaned her up, wrapped her up and gave her to mama. As calm as a newborn puppy I looked over at my child and her mother. Our mother’s drowning us with pictures.
I haven’t revealed my daughter’s name yet. When the doctors came in for me to sign papers we filled out her name to be Isabella Angelynn Ruiz. My baby’s mother had wanted her name to be Angelynn. I liked it, but not for a first name. So I came up with Isabella and we decided to use Angelynn as her middle name. I chose Isabella because it’s a princess name so she deserved that.
She responds to Isabella, Bella for short. She likes Bella beeer. So aaer a long day on May 6th, 2014 at around 5 o’clock pm, Isabella Angelynn Ruiz was born. The birth of my beauuful princess Isabella changed my view on life and the way I see my life and the streets.
The weight of the world was on my shoulders about my past life on the streets. Bella’s birth has taught me how to be a great father and to take care of the responsibiliies that come with it. My views and prioriies in my present, and our future have shiied because of being her father.
I am Christian Ruiz I am from Puerto Rico, La Isla de incanto I am from Cayey to Wheeling, IL I am from the streets of Lollipop Lane Clubhouse parties, gang banging, everything’s blue I am from God’s Image May you find him now! I am from two older sisters, one long lost brother I am from the Ruiz dynasty I am from an unknown father and known beautiful mother I am from Destiny and Anthony, beloved peas in a pod I am a King to a princess, May god bless you always Bella - I LOVE YOU