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José tells his friends reports of his political death are premature

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José Chulvi, Jávea Mayor, chose the social media conduit Facebook to correct rumours of his retirement from municipal politics.

“Dear Facebook friends, It has been reported to me, that certain people linked to a particular local political party have been charged with spreading a completely false rumour about my political future.

They are saying I will be joining the Autonomous Parliament of Valencia and thus will abandon my position as Mayor, and because of this it would be best to vote for another candidate in the May 2015 Municipal Elections.

I can categorically state that this is completely and utterly false. My commitment to Jávea and its citizens is total and absolute. I will be running again for the office of Mayor in the May elections and wish to remove the slightest doubt which anyone might have, that if our citizens wish it, I will be here for the next four years in my Town.

I was born here, I have lived here all my life, I have my family here, my friends and a number of people to whom I owe so much.

I do not like falsehoods being used to deceive people, so now you know that if you hear this rumour, you have the information to respond to it.

José Chulvi will present himself as a candidate in Jávea and will remain here.

I believe that during these recent years I have demonstrated my commitment to all of you and to my town of Jávea.”

In his first paragraph José states ‘certain people linked to a particular local political party’ have been charged . . .

Was it in a Denuncia to the Civil Guard which will result in people being hauled before magistrates and asked if it is true or political invention?

Nº 20 Dec. 2014/Jan. 2015

The correct phrase might be 100% BEHIND you, but in Jávea it might be seen as a good place for ambush.

When Clive Read - who applied to be a MILITANTE in an application hand-delivered to Josefa at the Party HQ in Jávea, on 9th May TWENTY THIRTEEN and still awaits a reply - met with the Mayor at the opening of Parasol Care Centre in Jávea, Clive assured José of his TOTAL (100%) support for José and Jávea, the town Clive adopted as his own in 1985, when the family relocated here.

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Wot is were?

Page 2

Nº 20

Dec. 2014/Jan. 2015

.

4, 15 Advertising rates Agenda 21 .

4, 6, 12, 16 AMJASA look for energy savings 16 Bob Yareham’s English 7 Christmas Charity Shop Raffle 31 Community of owners clarfication 19 Duty Chemist Rota .

28 Humour . .

9, 24 Jávea Budget for 2015 .

10, 11 Jávea Players and Downtown 30 Jávea Postcodes .

2 José denies he’s ‘moving on’ 1 Leaving money to a Charity 18 Legal system deciphered 28,19 New Manager at Iceland 27 Oscar clarifies Spanish law 18 Podemos economy proposals 28 Residency Changes .

13, 14 Satellite Fact File .

8, 10 Scallops Voucher recycling 26 Spotlight on Sally Mar 21,23,25 Sunday morning invitation 9 Swiss Cable job offer .

27 Town Hall Monthly Meeting 3, 15 UK Magazine Service .

17 We will remember them .

31 Woman to Woman .

17, 20

JAVEA POSTCODES

Most towns have a single Postcode: Jávea has 4, but Correos discourage their use, claiming it is better to use 03730 (where 50% will be wrong) rather than the code for your area, which ‘some’ will get wrong.

Adsubia 03739 Alborada 03739 Arenal 03738 Cala Blanca, Urb 03738 Cap Martín 03738 Capsades 03739 Catarroja Partida 03737 Cerezos, Los 03739 Colomer 03737 Costa Nova, Urb 03738 Ermita, Urb 03737 Eurocondal, Urb. 03737 Fontanella 03737 Frechinall 03738

Granadella, La

03738 Lluca 03739 Mandarina, La 03739 Media Luna 03738 Montgó 03737 Montgó Carrasquetes 03737 Montgó Toscamar 03737 Panorama, Urb 03738 Pinosol 03739 Portichol 03738 Rebaldi 03739 Rimontgó 03737 Seniola 03737 Tarraulla 03739 Tosalet, Urb. 03739 Tosals 03737 Toscal 03738 Trencall 03738 Valls 03737 Valls Carrasquetes VA-CA 03737 Valls Planets VA-PN 03737 Valls Tosal VA-TS 03737 Everywhere else 03730

Jávea Jeard is published in Jávea by A2Z Publicaciones on behalf of Iglesia Grupo International de Divulgación del Evangelio (CIF: Q0300542H) at OASIS Centre, C/. Toni Llido 5, 03730

Articles published in these columns represent the views of the individual authors

It is impossible to provide ensure the accuracy or reliability of views expressed, and readers are advised to take independent unbiased advice, before commiting themselves to any action.

Contributions bearing the reference CR are made by Clive Read in good faith, and based on his living in Jávea with his wife and son for 29 years.

AEverW

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Jávea Councillors October Meeting

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The November meeting was a ‘bit of a formality’ as the most important item on the Agenda, - next year’s Budget - had been the subject of meetings with Xabia Democratica leader Oscar Anton in English at 6pm and Spanish at 7.30pm, the previous evening in the Casa de Cultura. More details of the Budget will be found elsewhere in this issue.

Oscar had taken the opportunity the previous evening, as leader of Xabia Democratica, Deputy Mayor and Finance Councillor, to talk to citizens in the language of their choice, in a way that even Brits could understand.

The Mayor introduced the new Townhall Treasurer and Secretary.

Point 1 as always was approval of the Minutes of the monthly meeting on 30th October, but clarification was sought about the roundabout close to Barclays Bank.

Point 2 approved the decisions made by the Mayor’s office. It is interesting that Councillors unanimously approve decisions taken by the Mayor’s office - and presumably a list is compiled and circulated to Councillors before the meeting - but the voters never get to find out what has been decided in their name.

Belen asked about Ramblars, but Councillor Doris suggested that explanations or claification could be obtained more quickly by approaching the appropriate Councillor, rather than waiting till the last Thursday of the month meeting.

Point 3 The Mayor said the Socialist group had appointed Antonio Miragell, the Councillor for Tourism, as their new Spokesperson and 6th Deputy Mayor.

Point 4 agreed to renew the contract with Ecovidrio for the recycling of glass separated by citizens into the appropriate containers.

Point 5 agreed that stall Nº 4 in the Indoor Market should be advertised to find a new

tenant. Once details are printed in the BOPA, interested people can submit as tender on the basis of the rent they think is appropriate.

Point 6 referred to a claim from Sra. Cardona McKimm in respect of damages to her car in December 2013, part of which will be covered by the Townhall’s insurers.

Point 7 approved that land in Cami XXV in poligon 29 must be opened to the public within 7 days.

Point 8 approved payment of 10,942€ for 2013 participation in the Marina Alta Culture Association.

Point 9 appproved payments as recommended by the Treasurer.

Point 10 approved payment to those who had supplied services to the Townhall during the period JulySeptember of this year.

Point 11 agreed that invoices that had not received the approval of the Treasurer should remain unpaid.

Point 12 approved the automatic payment by the FACe software for payment of approved invoices that are less than 5000€ in value.

Point 13 authorised the Townhall to take local business debts to a higher level.

Point 14 renewed the approval of Councillors in May 2013 to participate in the Federation of Municipalities and Autonomous regions in Spain.

Point 15 approved modification to the scale of charges at the Municipal Conservatory of Music. It is not an increase, but allows repayment in cases where people drop out.

Point 16 approved the Budget of 36 million €uros

Nº 20

Dec. 2014/Jan. 2015

for 2015, around 4 million €uros less than 2011. 13 million €uros was agreed for wages, a reduction of 0.03% on the current year.

Despite reducing the amount of outstanding loans, Councillors approved 900,000€ to pay interest during 2015.

Jose Luis (PP) described the Budget as more of a technical document than political. He said he would abstain when the vote was taken, because he believed greater savings were possible.

Page 3

Vicent Chorro recognised the 4 million€ reduction in expenditure since 2011, but said the main problem of unemployment in Jávea had not been addressed. There was nothing in the Budget in respect of hire of a floating stage that would be needed to launch fireworks in the bay, to comply with Valencia fire regulations and Vicente said he would vote against the Budget.

Belen thought more money should be allocated for aditional police and rubbish collection in the Summer.

Let you to the Airport

Continued on page 15

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Agenda 21 Jávea Updates

Nº 20

Page 4

Dec. 2014/Jan. 2015

Jávea police to increase surveillance for illegal fishing of sea urchins The black sea urchin, a delicacy known locally as the "bogamarí" is protected and can only be extracted from the sea between December 1st and February 28th by traditional fishing methods and maximum catch of 4 dozen urchins per person. Each year there are cases of illegal fishing, and once more the local police will be upping their vigilance.

Spain has the largest protected marine territory for birds

In two out of three countries the surface of Special Protection Areas for seabirds (SPA) does not exceed 3% of marine territory. According to the report of BirdLife International, the numbers are uneven across member states. Germany tops the list with almost 35% of its protected marine territory a 19,500 km 2 in total.

Meanwhile, Spain barely exceeds 5% of marine territory, but in absolute terms is the country with greater coverage, with more than 51,500 km 2.

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Jávea Jeard is grateful to Chris Jones for compiling the Agenda 21 reports, on which this report is based.

Chris acknowledges javeamigos.com in sourcing local information. http://agenda21-xabia.wikidot.com

Jávea's 2015 Budget - Steady as she goes

Councillor for Finance, Oscar Anton has briefed two public meetings about next year's budget.

The first was conducted in English, to cater for the expat community, and the second in Castellano and Valenciano. Only 8 people turned up for the briefing in English (Agenda 21 Ed's note: does this reflect apathy …or a contentment with the way things are going ? - since meetings are rarely well attended unless people have something to complain about!).

Mindful of the municipal elections in May 2015, the budget has no commitments to big capital investment, concentrating on financing projects already underway (Central Cinema, Clot building VAT) and essential expenditure, such as a vehicle for Civil Protection. An estimated 2million will be left in the kitty for the incoming administration to use as it sees fit. Some 37% of the €36.5 million budget goes on pay for the 345 municipal staff, and 42% on services such as rubbish collection, electricity etc.

The Municipal debt has been reduced from some €42 million to somewhere between €25 and 26 million over the period of the current administration. Discounts for paying municipal taxes will continue.

Foreign Tourist spending up

The Minister of Economy, Industry, Tourism and Employment noted that the spending by foreign tourists in the Comunidad Valenciana during the month of October reached 513 million €uros, a figure that represents an increase of 8.2% compared to the same period last year. France (54%), Belgium (42.8 %), Germany (20.3%), and Italy

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Jávea Jeard

(20.3 %) have been the main contributors to this increase. He said he would continue working with the tourism sector "to promote unique products to help generate tourism experiences that differentiate us from our competing destinations and contribute to the preservation of our environment." In this regard, he stressed the importance of cultural and religious tourism in boosting the economy and therefore in generating employment and attracting domestic and foreign tourists.

There are six UNESCO World Heritage assets in the Community: Three physical, and three intangible assets (e.g. the Elche Mystery Play).

Six out of 10 Spanish youths plan to move abroad to find a job

Spanish youths are among Europe’s most pessimistic when it comes to their future, a study of several EU member states suggests.

Spanish youngsters feel that they will be worse off than their own parents, while six out of every 10 polled are planning to move abroad in search of a job, according to a survey by the Vodafone Institute for Society and Communication, Spaniards and Italians showed the least confidence in finding a job in their own countries, while 58 percent of Spanish youths said they were planning to move abroad to find a job, compared with 21 percent of young Germans. Yet this open attitude toward emigration is in contrast with the fact that only one out of four young Spaniards report having ever lived in a different country.

Continued on page 6

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Jávea Jeard

December 2014,/January 2015 Nº 20

Page 5

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J1011 350.000€ Pretty Jávea villa for sale

Traditional south facing Pinosol villa of two levels: Ground floor: classic naya with a modern touch with access to the sitting /dining room with tosca fireplace, 1 fully fitted kitchen, 3 bedrooms with A / C, 2 bathrooms (1 with shower). External staircase leads to the upper floor with a separate apartment consisting of: 1 living/dining room with private balcony, 1 kitchen, 1 bedroom with fitted wardrobe, A/C and private balcony, 1 bathroom with sink & wc. Large easy maintained garden with automatic irrigation and barbecue area, private pool 10 X 5 m, 2 independent parking areas for 3 cars. IBI/Rates: 570€/year, rubbish bill: 124€/year. Construction: 168.20m2, semi flat plot: 1008 m2

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Page

6 December 2014/January 2015 Nº 20

Agenda 21

Continued from page 4

Half a million Euros to stabilise cliffs

The Provincial coastal service will shortly start on works to stabilise cliffs in Alicante Province: The cala de La Granadella in Jávea, la cala del Moraig in Benitachell, and the cala Amerador of l'alfàs del Pi. In addition there will be repair work to the promenade of La Mata, Torrevieja. These works will total approximately half a million euros, of which 202.864,61 euros will be allocated to the stabilization of the cliffs, with the repair to the promenade of La Mata amounting to 234.668,60 euros.

At Spain’s Door, a Welcome Mat for Entrepreneurs

The new law, known as the Ley de Emprendedores, is Spain’s latest effort to help domestic businesses and make the country more attractive to wealthy and talented people outside the European Union who want to start businesses, invest or work in the country.

Billed by the government as reforms that would help create jobs at a time of high unemployment, the legislation created five visa categories, covering investors who buy at least 500,000 euros (about $625,000) of real estate; entrepreneurs who plan to establish businesses; highly skilled professionals; researchers, scientists and teachers; and employees and trainees.

Once approved, recipients are allowed to move freely through most European Union countries, A sweetener that the Spanish government should highlight, he said, is its unsecured lending programme, which has about €100 million, or $125 million, to lend to innovative small and midsize companies annually. The loans, from €25,000 to €1.5 million, are available to all entrepreneurs, regardless of nationality, who have a business based in Spain (except for those running real estate or financial ventures).

34% of Spain's workers on €645 minimum wage

Just over a third of all Spanish employees earned the country's minimum wage of €9,034 in 2013, with almost all workers under 25 having to make do with that amount, official figures show.

Thirty-four percent of Spain's 16,682,861 employees earned the minimum wage of €645 a month spread over 14 payments, according to tax office statistics. Among the young, the

figure was much higher, with 86% of the 33,681 employees aged under 18 in Spain collecting the so-called SMI.

Jávea Jeard

Spain’s invisible drug problem

Spanish police last year seized 120% more amphetamines, 28% more cocaine and 3.2% more heroin than they did in 2012. The increases have raised fears that although the use of illegal substances has stabilized in recent years, consumption could easily be driven upward by cheap and plentiful supply.

Eusebio Megías, the technical director of the Foundation for Help Against Drugs (FAD), does not believe heroin is going to make a comeback in Spain, but that the country still faces a serious threat from the spread of recreational drug use. “Drug consumption has become a cultural phenomenon: people take them as though they were just another way of having fun. They take drugs to get on with their friends, and to be able to stay up all night partying,” he says.

AMJASA puts electricity supply contract out to tender

In an effort to reduce its electricity costs, AMJASA is putting the contract for its electricity supply, valued at some 774,000 Euros, out to tender. The municipal company will positively weigh green and renewable sources of energy in the bidding process.

Marina Alta using Time-Lapse photography

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Companies want language and IT skills

Educated, good language skills, having an intensive use of new technologies and with great expertise in their area of work. This is the profile most desired by Spanish businesses and, unfortunately the most lacking among potential employees.

Despite having an unemployment near 25% Spain, there are jobs that are not filled due to lack of suitable candidates meeting these demanding Continued on page 12 Consciencious English lady (speaks Spanish) seeks work, caring for the elderly, frail or vulnerable.

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Jávea Jeard

December 2014 /January 2015 Nº 20

The truth is, being English is not something that takes up much of my time. Most of that is dedicated to finding ways of having a quiet drink without rubbing the Missus up the wrong way, or getting through the week without running out of underpants. Important stuff, in other words.

I’m told we once had an Empire, I believe it’s now considered less provocative to call it a Commonwealth. Whatever we call it, I think it’s rather clever.

LAND OF HOPE AND GLORY

One of the peculiar things about living abroad, as I have done uninterruptedly since 1979, is that foreigners always have the impression that I must hold strong opinions about Englishness. As if I spend all my free time drinking tea at 5 o’clock or finding ways to look on the bright side of rain.

Of course, it’s the very fact of not living in England that makes Englishness an issue at all.

The fact is that it had never occurred to me to feel English before I lived somewhere else. And yet, here in Valencia I was once accosted by a Palestinian doctor who withheld his bandages until I agreed to renounce the Balfour Declaration. I was once lambasted by a Punjabi restaurant owner in Jávea for the unfortunate massacres of Indian civilians in various villages that I have not yet even begun to pronounce, and denied chutney until an apology was forthcoming.

I have been informed on innumerable occasions that Gibraltar is Spanish, and asked how I would like to wake up and find a Spanish colony on St Michael’s Mount; a notion that I do not find the least bit unpleasant.

I’m sure the Egyptians and all the other races we took under our cosy wing were tremendously relieved to have so many heavy artefacts taken off their hands, and surely at some point someone in some dark Asian Rainforest must have dialled 999 and, in a distressed manner, insinuated that they really needed to have their natural resources transferred abroad as quickly as possible please, before they became uncomfortable with putting up with the heritage of their millennial civilisations.

Probably But the truth is that for a nation that still hates the French because of 1066 and all that, we have been remarkably lucky to have pillaged so far and wide so successfully without any serious consequences. The British Empire is about as unlikely a success story as you’re likely to find.

Maybe it’s our sense of humour, or that inscrutable ability we have to act, dress and play cricket like complete idiots, both at home and overseas, so that no one can for a minute believe the frightful accusations hurled against us by the politically motivated.

The British Empire really was the perfect crime. It amazes me that they still let us stay in the Commonwealth, and that most people still think the Royal family is just a little bit of typical harmless fun.

Others think it’s time to try a Republic, although the idea of not having an unelected head of state to mock and revere, is for me at least, just a little bit unsettling.

I suspect that there is a genetically enhanced grovelling genome somewhere in our DNA that makes us shrivel like grateful bacon when confronted with the appalling, reptilian attraction of royalty.

Page 7

When I watch people genuflecting before royals there are two thoughts that enter my mind. (And two is serious rush hour traffic!) One is that humanity has progressed very little if we are still unable to distinguish between merit and inherit. The other is that the royal “we” is surely no more mildly unpleasant than anybody else’s.

It’s interesting that in the Spanish language the words “royal” and “real” are the same. Perhaps it’s also significant that in English they aren’t.

Some time this month we will all tune in, as is our penance, to the Queen’s Christmas broadcast and pretend not to listen, and hope that just this once she’ll say something radical, something moving; that she’ll remember the good old days when Kings spoke to their soldiers before battle to inspire, instead of speaking after lunch to deflate.

Read more by Bob Yareham at www.valencia-international.com

LET’S CLEAR THIS UP

In response to all the recent eMails about my dog: please be advised. I am sick and tired of answering questions about him.

Yes, up to now he has bitten 6 people wearing ‘Mr Ed’ - the talking house ‘Milliband’ T-shirts, 4 people carrying Harriet Harman banners, 2 car drivers with RAP music blasting from their vehicles, 9 teenagers with pants hanging past their bum cracks, three Union Jack flag burners, and 14 female Daleks going to the local mosque.

For the last time - the dog is NOT for sale.

And no, I do not approve of his smoking, but he says it helps him get the “Bad Taste” out of his mouth.

Page 8 December 2014/January 2015 Nº 20

Satellite Fact File

Astra 2A

For some time now I have been receiving complaints that in the afternoons in particular programmes transmitted using Astra 2A have proved rather difficult to receiver. Well the good news is that this should be shortly remedied. Astra are planning to replace this ageing transponder with Astra 2G and I understood this would take place around the 27th of November.

The bad news is that the launch date was cancelled due to electromechanical problems and it is now planned for sometime between the 12th and 28th December!

After the successful launch of 2G it will take time to nudge Astra 2G into the correct position as other important adjustments and testing will be taking place, and only when Astra 2G receives

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clearance on all checks will it be commissioned and brought into service.

A little warning here, slight variations may still take place depending on field reports, a very important consideration being that it is vital as part of the agreement that coverage (footprint) matches the agreed specification. For more information, watch this space!

Apple iPad 2, iPhones, P.C.s, Tablets etc More and more people are using their portable equipment to receive TV programmes in other rooms using the WiFi facility, but anyone attempting to use BBC player or other variations may hit the ‘Buffers’ as the fact that you are operating in Spain is spotted and you are refused entry.

I have found that by using a ‘Patch’ this ensures you are able to use the U.K. facility without any problems. How? Simply go into https://vpnuk and you will be able to check the terms and conditions and receive a great deal of help and advice. I have used this service myself for several years and from the feedback I receive, others are well satisfied with the service they offer.

Stacker/Destacker

As more and more people upgrade to a satellite receiver that also has the facility to view a live programme and at the same time select a programme to view at a more convenient time, then often its the case that a Twin LNB has to be installed and a second down lead fitted to supply to the second input in order that the full capability is enabled.

In most cases this is not a problem as the satellite dish is mounted and is within reach. On occasions, however, it’s found that a single down lead has been installed and owing to lack of forethought, or that since fitting the cable alterations have been made making it virtually impossible to install a second down lead, there are problems.

I have managed to overcome this problem by the installation of a stacker/destacker. The principle in electronic terms is quite simple,

Jávea Jeard

by Richard Pollock B.Ed I.Eng. FIEEIE Consultant Electronic Engineer

Formerly Lecturer in RTVE at Bradford College

Both signals are fed into the stacker and one signal frequency is shifted to be entirely above the other signal frequency, and then both signals are output into the single downlead. At the satellite receiver the single downlead is fed into the destacker and two signals emerge, which are fed into the respective two input sockets, one acting as live feed and the other for record purposes.

In practice this system works rather well, provided a good quality down lead cable was used.

Richard Pollock B.Ed I.Eng. FIEEIE Consultant Electronic Engineer Formerly Lecturer in RTVE at Bradford College and British Council. <richardpollockjavea@gmail.com>

The people who brought ‘care’, ‘comfort’ and ‘understanding’ to bereaved families in Spain

Sympathetic and prompt assistance starts with a phone call to BALBI on 610 204 864 Cremation, Repatriation or Interment

Thanksgiving and Memorial services arranged, religious or humanist Cami del Cementerio 2 JÁVEA - 96 579 0188 Fax: 96 579 4138

THE OLD ‘UNS ARE STILL THE BEST

Jávea Jeard

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

David Copperfield After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

Sasha Guitry By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Socrates Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

Zuma The great question, which I have not been able to answer... Is, "What does a woman want?"

Dumas I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

Sigmund Freud 'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant twice a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays' Red Skelton 'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.

It's called marriage.'

Sam Kinison I've had bad luck with both my wives The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'

James Holt McGavra Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming.

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

Patrick Murray The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...

Nash You know what I did before I married?

Anything I wanted to.

Naas Botha My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. Henny Youngman A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Rodney Dangerfield A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.' Pik Botha First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'

Second Guy : 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'

The Guy next door

YOU DESERVE A LAUGH

December 2014/ January 2015 Nº 20

THE QUEEN’S RIDDLE

David Cameron asked the Queen, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient commonwealth and government? Are there any tips you can give me?"

"Well," said the Queen, "The most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."

David Cameron then asked, "But how do I know if the people around me are really intelligent?"

The Queen took a sip of champagne.

"Oh, that's easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle, watch me and listen."

The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. "Please send Prince Charles in here, would you?"

Prince Charles walked into the room and said, "Yes, Mum?" The Queen smiled and said to Charles, "Answer me this please Charlie. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"

Without pausing for a moment, Prince Charles answered "That would be me."

"Yes! Very good," said the Queen.

“Ah ha,” I get it said David. “Thank you Mam!” and in a great rush he left.

David Cameron went back to Parliament. He decided to ask Nick Clegg the same question. "Nick, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"

"I'm not sure," said Nick Clegg. And then in True Nick Clegg Style he went on to say. "Let me get back to you on that one."

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Page 9

He went to his advisers and asked everyone, but none could give him an answer. Frustrated, Nick went to the toilet and found Nigel Farage in there.

Nick Clegg went up to Nigel Farage and asked, "Hey Nigel, see if you can answer this question."

"Shoot Nick" replied Nigel.

“Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister.

Who is it?"

Nigel Farage answered, without stalling said; "That's easy, it's me!"

Nick Clegg grinned, and said, "Good answer Nigel, I see it all now!"

Nick Clegg then, went back to find David Cameron and said to him; "David, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle, “if your mother and father have a child who is not your brother or your sister the child is Nigel Farage!"

David Cameron went red in the face, got up, stomped over to Nick Clegg, and angrily yelled into his face.

"No! You bloody idiot! It's Prince Charles!"

AND THAT MY FRIENDS IS PRECISELY WHY UKIP IS DOING SO WELL!

WHERE CAN I GO ON A SUNDAY? There’s lots of new friends waiting to meet you - and free tea, coffee, cake or biscuits afterwards, at

The ‘Oasis’ Centre

NEW Sunday venue

C/. Toni Llido, 5 GPS - N:38.793196 and E:0.180900 At the rear of ‘LA CAIXA” Bank at the ‘Dolphin Roundabout’

Sunday morning service 11am If you need transport,

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Page 10

Jávea’s Budget for 2015 is just short of 50 million €uros

December 2014/January 2015 Nº 19

Let’s Support our local Businesses

If we don’t we won’t have any

Azorin Restaurant C/. Toni Llido Tel: 96 579 4495

Bon Retir elderly care home C/. Cantallops 31 Tel: 96 579 0242 688 883 155 Building and Tiling by Victor victorjavea@hotmail.com Tel: 626 975 244

Butcher’s Block The English Butcher in Jávea Av del Pla (North of Yorkshire Linen) Tel: 96 579 2676 Cabo Casse Hire Tools and Machinery C/. Liverpool 11 (opposite the Moli) Tel: 96 579 2502 C B Installations Glazing, Reforms/Building works Rupert Cooper Tel: 606 662 991 622 872 991 vistaglaze@gmail.com

Jávea councillors agreed a Budget for 2015 that leaves room for investment by the Townhall team.

Oscar Anton, leader of Xabia Dmocratica, Deputy Mayor and Finance Councillor had explained the figures to two language groups the previous evening. At 46.5 million €uros, Oscar defined said his Budget was similar to 2014, explaining that submitting an ‘artificial’ budget because an election would be held in 6 months, was a recipe for disaster. “We have to comply with Fiscal Stability Law, ensuring that our anticipated outgoings are covered by the amount we believe we’ll receive as income.

“As Finance Councillor I have to ignore the fact that we have a municipal election in May 2015, and propose a budget ensuring that whoever forms the next Government has enough in the bank to provide quality government.”

Whoever wins - bills have to be paid.

The draft budget is similar to 2014.

One third of the money goes to staff

Jávea Jeard

costs (next year the municipal staff will have two retirements that will not be filled and there will be two fewer ‘positions of confidence’ chosen by the Mayor and his Deputy to serve the Community without needing to qualify by a competitive examination - positions of trust), and 42% is committed to current spending, with important responsibilities like waste management and street cleaning. An increase of 350,000 €uros is expected for nextyear compared to this year, and though we may not like it, we have contracts to honour. In the past two years, Property Taxes have been reduced and the Townhall is concentrating on ensuring that owners of ‘invisible’ propeties are identified and pay what they owe - and for previous years.

Bank interest fell by 2.4% while the current transfers (money for agreements with associations) remains at 890,437 €uros, with new collaborations with Handball Club, the Friends of the Museum Association or the School for Film as the Jávea Neighbourhood Forum.

In investments, the executive has budgeted for new municipal building (600,000 €uros) and the purchase of books for the library (13,000 €uros), completing the work in the Frechinal Continued on next page

If you live in a Community of Horizontal Owners, we will see if there are problems, and come up with the answers, IN SPANISH, for YOU to submit to the President or Administrator.

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Jávea Jeard

Townhall 2015 Budget

December 2014/January 2015 Nº 20 Page 11

Continued from previous page

(17,000) €uros and buying a support vehicle for Civil Protection. The most important item for a project is reforming the Central Cinema (535,900 €uros) which is financed as a transfer of capital and which must be entered into the accounts of the council, which will tender for the work.

Inherited obligations commit us to 3.5 million €uros in loan reayments. With this commitment, we have rediced bank debt to 42 million €uros (triggered mainly since 2010 for works such as the provision of Clot and Plaza del Constitucion underground parkings ) in 2015 which still remains at about 26 million €uros.

On the revenue side, 56% of indirect taxes such as the IBI (which this year brought in 16.3 million €uros that we believe in four years will generate 20 million €uros).

Bonuses remain in rates In indirect taxes it has been estimated that 462,000 €uros in ICIO (Buildings) while the Townhall will maintain the 100% reduction in the license fee for opening a business or a license of minor work.

The Townhall has projected its income to include less from the State as a result in the reduction of people who are registered on the padron. A total of 580,000 €uros income from temporary concessions on beaches is budgeted.

Oscar Anton said his budget reflected the economic health of Jávea, a situation that, as noted by the mayor, José Chulvi, has been possible thanks to the efforts of all departments to adjust expenses and seek grants and responsibility that, despite the ups and downs suffered in recent years by the cadastral situation, has maintained all services provided by the local administration and performance in areas such as education, social services and equality, in addition to undertake investments for most needed urban improvements.

A traffic warden's story

As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Traffic Wardens funeral, a voice from inside screams... “I’m not dead, I’m not dead. Let me out!”

The Vicar smiles, leans forward sucking air through his teeth and mutters “Too late pal, I’ve already done the paperwork!"

Let’s Support our local Businesses

If we don’t we won’t have any

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Independent Financial Advice Lee Hodges 699 966 914 lee@leehodges.es L P Catering Suplies Everything for restaurants at an affordable price Tel: 96 579 3893 Susana: 607 630 221 Sergio: 647 540 862

Milar Moragues The corner shop with trade prices Av. del Pla 43 Tel: 96 646 1677 www.milar.es

I want TV, Internet and Phone from a local provider who talks my Language - and answers my questions Jávea’s Main Internet Provider New Channel 5 test images already PHONE SERVICE More than 1,000 homes can´t be wrong. on our EXTENDED package.

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NEW HD channels coming soon to our BEAM/CABLE users, required by many LARGE SCREEN TVs. We plan to move channels starting 1st September, with SPORTS channels being first to move.

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Office Phone: (leave message if occupied) 96 577 1121 (Accounts Ext. 202, Tech. Help Ext. 220) Sales (Anne): 679 797 473 (General Enquiries) 865 667 123 Providing service to individuals, Urbanisations and Apartment Blocks in Jávea, Moraira, Benissa, Calpe, Benitachell, Gata, Jesús Pobre, Els Poblets and Vergel

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Agenda 21 update

December 2014/January 2015 Nº 20

Let’s Support our local Businesses

If we don’t we won’t have any

MPM Property Repairs Maintanance, Management and Repairs Tel: 96 577 0205 681 005 731

Gail McCafferty NURSE RGN.NMB regd/homologlomised gailm969@gmail.com 667 316 954

Painting and Decorating Pinturas Jaime Ortola 609 677 094 www.pinturasortola.net P C Highway Calle Niza 13 Tel: 96 646 2509 info@pc-highway.com

Pick-up and Deliver Service Covering Alicante to Gandia - they’ll even pay for an item and fetch it.

Andrea and Mark 633 294 509

Rent an Officiant For a Wedding, Funeral, Memorial or Thanksgiving occasion: Rev. Clive Read 669 386 702 www.divineservices.org clive@cliveread.com Second-hand furniture store Sheila’s Deals 609 827 753 sheilabond21@gmail.com

Septic (toilet) problems Limpiezas Jávea 608 861 153 www.limpiezasjavea.com Spanish Lessons www.languagecentremoraira.com 699 216 516

Swiss Cable - and much more Tlf: 96 577 1121 www.swisscable.es info@swisscable.es

Taxi www.eurotaxijavea.com reservas@eurotaxijavea.com Card payment OK - Airports - Tours 633 400 044 Tanatorio Jávea Undertaking in your language Tel: 610 204 864

Let’s Support our local Businesses

If we don’t we won’t have any

Continued from page 6

requirements, according to Infoempleo.

"We found this particularly in the areas of technology, engineering and telecommunications, where it is difficult to find qualified professionals who are actively seeking employment," explains Jorge Guelbenzu, Director of Infoempleo. "These positions are the ones that receive fewer candidates, so are more likely to remain vacant," he said. People with higher qualifications and training have more options to find employment. Last year over 61% of the bids that were published in Infoempleo requested candidates with a university degree, about 38% sought workers with vocational training and 6% of companies also demanded candidates to have postgraduate training. In addition, one in three jobs require knowledge of at least one language.

Among the most popular degrees include information technology, telecommunications, industry, business, economics and law.

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Jávea Jeard

Greenpeace activists injured after Navy blocks Canaries oil drilling protest

Two Greenpeace activists were injured when the Spanish Navy tried to stop them from protesting against oil prospecting off the coast of the Canary Islands. The environmental group has criticised the military’s excessive use of force in the operation, which resulted in one of their members suffering a broken leg.

Training for firefighters

The Jávea Department of Public Safety has provided training to the Civil Protection and Balcon al Mar firefighter groups, both of which have new volunteers who need knowledge to be able to fight fire. A class for 35 volunteers were trained in conjunction with the regional fire brigade, at the fire brigade facilities in Denia.

Drones to survey the Torre de Gerro

The Department of Infrastructure has launched a pilot project to use drones to take aerial photographs to facilitate archaeological surveys around the Torre de Gerro in Dénia, with the idea of finding possible architectural remains and eventually to enhance the l6th century tower's environment.

Continued on page 16

A year in the life of a Spanish town Xabia / Jávea

Words by the late Charlene Quince and photos by Billie Cook is still on sale at HUMPTY DUMPTY (Javea Park) LA RULLA and OASIS HELP CENTRE (both in the Port)

10€

Why not enjoy a nostalgic journey at www.memories-of-javea.com Artist / Photographer Tel: 636 161 941 You can ‘friend me’ on Facebook?

Billie Cook

RESIDENCY CHANGES

Jávea Jeard

On 10 July 2012 the Spanish government introduced details of the new residency requirements for all EU citizens, including British nationals.

Under the new rules, EU citizens applying for residency in Spain may be required to produce evidence of sufficient financial means to support themselves (and dependants). Applicants may also be asked for proof of private or public healthcare insurance. More details about the application process and documentation you need are available on the website of the Spanish Ministry for Work and Social Security.

The Ministerial Order sets out the new residency requirements and some of the documentation applicants may be asked to present. We have created an unofficial translation of the Ministerial Order below.

Residency requirements - for information only

This is an unofficial translation by the British Embassy* of the important parts of Spanish Order 1490 of 9 July 2012, setting out the rules on the entry, free movement and residence in Spain of nationals of other European Union (EU) Member States and European Economic Area states.

Article 1: Right of residence for a period of longer than three months: Nationals of a member state of the European Union.

Other States party to the Agreement on the European Economic Area Switzerland have a right to reside in Spain for a period of longer than three months if they meet the conditions laid down in Article 7 of Royal Decree 240/2007, of 16 February 2007, on entrance, free movement and residence in Spain of Nationals of European Union member states and of other states party to the Agreement on the European Economic Area.

Article 2: Attendance and registration on the Central Register of Foreign Nationals: Applications for registration as residents by the nationals mentioned in Article l shall comply with the provisions of sections 5 and 6 of Article 7 of Royal Decree 240/2007, of 16 February 2007.

Applications will be filed in person in the Immigration Office of the province where they intend to reside or in the relevant Police Station.

If the application for registration does not meet the necessary requirements for it to be processed, the interested person will be required to

December 2014/January 2015 Nº 20

correct any faults or attach the obligatory documents within a period of ten days and he will be informed that, if he does not do this, it will be assumed that he has abandoned his application, by reasoned decision, which does not exhaust the administrative procedure and which may be appealed against.

The certificate will be issued immediately, once compliance with the corresponding requirements has been confirmed. This certificate will give the name, nationality and address of the registered person, his foreign national identity number and the date of registration.

Article 3: Supporting documentation All applications for registration must be accompanied by the applicant’s passport or national identity document, which shall be valid and in force. If these documents have expired, a copy of these and the application for renewal must be produced.

In addition, the following documentation will be required, depending on the applicant’s circumstances: a) Employed workers must produce a declaration to the effect that they have been hired by the employer or a certificate of employment. These documents must include, as a minimum, details of the name and address of the company, tax identification and Employer’s Social Security Number.

Presentation of an employment contract registered with the corresponding Public Employment Service or a document of registration or situation similar to registration with the corresponding Social Security System will be accepted, although it will not be necessary to produce these documents if the interested party agrees to have his details checked against the General Social Security Finance Office files “Ficheros de la Tesoreria General de la Seguridad Social”. b) Self-employed workers must produce evidence to the effect that they are self-employed. Registration on the Economic Activities List “Censo de Actividades Economicos”, or proof of their establishment by means of registration in the Mercantile Registry “Registro Mercantil”, or a document of registration or situation similar to registration with nationals of a Member State of the European Union and accompany the national of a Member Continued on page 14

Page 13

Everything you need to survive the Spanish Health Service - for 6,50€

The Health Service in Spain is every bit as good - and many say MUCH better than in the UK, but no matter the level of professionalism and skill of the doctor or nursing staff - if you don’t speak Spanish, ‘Murphy’s Law’ says those who care for you will not understand English or Spanglish.

What they DO understand on the Costa Blanca, and instantly recognise, is the Booklet “Tell the Doctor” which lists all the words and phrases you are likely to need during your visit to the Health Centre or Hospital.

The book is NOT intended to replace a competent Interpreter for those visits when accuracy and understanding are essential.

Originally compiled by Jenny Bussey, founder of Jalon Valley HELP, copies can be obtained from the OASIS HELP CENTRE, C/. Toni Llido 5 (at the rear of La Caixa bank in the Port) for 6,50€ a copy.

Tell the Doctor is also published in French and German, but the OASIS generally only stocks the (blue covered) English edition.

Councillor Doris Courselles had to fly back after the monthly Townhall meeting to Belgium where her mother was unwell. She tells me she has since suffered from a virus but wishes our readers a Happy Christmas and prosperous and healthy 2015, when she will resume contributing to Jávea Jeard.

Residency changes

Page 14 December 2014/January 2015 Nº 20

Continued from previous page

State of the European Union or of another State party to the Agreement on the European Economic Area and of Switzerland or meet him in the Spanish State, provided that the conditions laid down in letters a), b) or c) of section 2 of Article 3 of this Order are met.

Family members who are nationals of a Member State of the European Union, or of another State party to the Agreement on the European Economic Area and of Switzerland, set out in sections l, 2 and 3 of this Article, must apply for registration in the Central Register of Foreign Nationals in accordance with the provisions of this Order.

Family members who are not nationals of a Member State of the European Union or of another State party to the Agreement on the European Economic State and of Switzerland, set out in Articles 2 and 3 of this Article, must apply for a residence card to be issued for a family member of a Union national, in accordance with the provisions of Article 8 of Royal Decree 240/2007, of l6 February 2007.

Single Interim Provision.

This Order will apply to applications presented after 24 April 2012.

First Final Provision: Competency Title This Ministerial Order is passed under the provisions of Article 149.1 .2 of the Spanish Constitution, which gives the State sole jurisdiction in matters of nationality, immigration, emigration, foreign affairs and right of asylum.

Second Final Provision: Entry into force. This Order will come into force on the day after its publication in the “State Official Bulletin”. (10 July 2012) *This translation is provided by the British Embassy with the intention of assisting English-speaking EU citizens to understand the new residency requirements. The British Embassy can take no responsibility for any errors or differences between this and any future official translation, nor for any inconvenience or expense caused by any error or difference.

Non-EU family members There is also provision for non-EU family members, who have entered on valid passports and visas (where required), to reside with EU citizens, providing they too register in person at the Oficina de Extranjeros or designated police stations within 3 months of entry.

They will be issued with Tarjetas de

Residencia de Familiar de Cuidadano de la Union (Residency cards for family members of EU citizens). Additional documents will be required.

Registering on the padron The padron is a list of all the people who live in a certain town.

Empadronarse is the act of registering yourself on this list with your local Townhall.

Who should register?

It is obligatory by Spanish law to register on the padron at the Townhall where you habitually reside, yet many British ex-pats still have not done so.

Perhaps some view the padron as a means of vigilance by the state, in ‘bigbrother’ fashion. However, in reality, it is simply a way for the Townhall to know how many people live in their area, without entering into investigations as to a person’s official residence status or financial affairs.

How you register You don’t have to own your house to register, just have an address where you habitually live, no matter whether you are the owner, you rent, or live with family or friends. Nor is registration a long drawn out registration process.

Simply go to the padron office of your Townhall and fill in the form they provide. Take along official identification, such as a passport, and also your NIE or residence certificate/card, a recent utility bill in your name, and the deeds to your house or a copy of your rental contract.

Although you may have to return to collect your certificate, the actual registration is completed all on the same day. Some Townhalls in the Balearic Islands make a small charge for issuing a 'Certificado de empadronamiento’ (eg 120 euros in Palma de Mallorca).

Benefits of padron registration Once you’ve completed the simple process, you can begin to enjoy all the advantages being on the padron offers, such as:

Better public services Central government allocates funds to the different municipalities according to how many people are on the padron.

Therefore, if you are not registered, your Townhall is losing money for the provision of health centres, police officers, fire fighters and schools.

Jávea Jeard

Access to benefits and social care You must be on the padron for a certain period of time in order to access some income-related benefits and other aspects of social care available through social services at your Townhall.

A reduction in taxes Depending on the Townhall, registration on the padron could mean reductions in certain community charges and inheritance tax. Furthermore, those on the padron can also often enjoy discounted courses, leisure and cultural activities run by the Townhall.

Discounted travel A current ‘Certificado de Empadronamiento’ can allow residents of Spanish islands to receive discounts of up to 50% on air fares and ferry tickets between the islands and the mainland.

Voting rights In order to register to vote in local or European elections, you must first be registered on the padron.

An easier life You’ll find you need your padron certificate to carry out various administrative tasks, such as register for healthcare, register your car with Spanish number plates or enrol your children in school.

More information can be found on Residentes Europeos website.

Padron status checks Our understanding from talking to local and national authorities is that there is currently a one-off exercise underway to check the accuracy of the padron registers. This means you may be contacted to confirm your status on the padron. If you are contacted, you will be asked to answer to remain active on the padron and if you don’t then you may be removed from the register. If you are not contacted, you are not required to confirm your status.

For certain services (eg social services) you may be required to show a recent padron certificate which is less than 3 months old. This is normal procedure and is not related to the above mentioned project.

Non-EU family members There is also provision for non-EU family members, who have entered on valid passports and visas. Non-EU citizens are required to renew their padron certificate in any case. Please contact your local authority about any changes to the padron registration process.

Jávea Jeard

Townhall November meeting Continued from page 3

Juan said the Budget lacked any incentives to the local economy, but was told by Finance Councillor Oscar Anton that he would listen to any proposals, as long as it complies to the rules by which expenditure is governed, and that funding can be found from outside of Jávea, or by reducing spending allocated to other local projects.

Mayor Jose Chulvi said Councillors had been given the Budget a week earlier at an extraordinary meeting.

When it came to the vote, Socialists voted in favour, Partida Popular abstained,and Compromis and Antonio Torres voted against.

Other Business Compromis said the region needed its own radio and TV service, to promote regional history and culture. The proposal was approved.

Questions and Answers Tere (PP) asked why the direction signs to Clot parking had been removed, acknowledging that they were originally temporary for Summer use, but not replaced since the question was raised a month ago. She was told that the new and permanent signs are on order.

Vicent Chorro asked what could be done about noise from manholes on Avenida Juan Carlos, the main road between the Port and Town.

And with that the November monthly was brought to a close. CR

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Jávea Council approves 2015 budget

Jávea Police surveillance campaign starts to avoid theft of sea urchins.

Local crime decreases to five points below the provincial average

December 2014/January 2015 Nº 20

Coucillors in their monthly meeting have approved the general budget for 2015, accounts which include 36.6 million of the entity itself and 9.8 million from the public water company, AMJASA. The accounts went ahead with the votes of the government team, PSOE, Jávea Democratic Citizens, and with the support of New Jávea and non-aligned Councillors Juan José Castelló, Rosa Cardona and Juan Planelles. The PP abstained and Compromís and Councilman Antonio Torres voted against.

The budget was the last point on the Agenda, and unanimously authorized.

Other matters included continuing the agreement with Ecovidrio for the management of waste glass. Politically, the socialist municipal group appointed its new spokesman, who from now on will be Antonio Miragall.

The meeting closed after a motion by Compromís seeking the reopening of RTVV, a motion that was passed with the votes of the nationalists, the PSOE, Citizens for Jávea and nonaligned Planelles, Cardona and Torres.

The Partida Popular, Nueva Jávea, and Jávea Democratic Castelló abstained.

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The local police in Jávea have begun a special surveillance campaign as the season for extraction of sea urchins, a species that is off limits to ensure balanced exploitation to avoid their disappearance, the rest of the year.

The period in which harvesting is permitted is December 1 to February 28 and can only be done with traditional arts and abiding by a quota per person of 4 dozen sea urchins. Chief Inspector of Police, José Antonio Monfort, says excess capture is strictly prohibited and it is for this reason that in the coming months, agents will intensify surveillance from both land and boat to avoid the presence of poachers.

Control of this type of legislation and coordination between all security forces with powers in Jávea is one of the matters discussed periodically in the Local Security Board, a biannual meeting at which the Councillor for Public Safety, Juan Ortolá and the Mayor, José Chulvi were informed by the commanders of the Local Police, Civil Guard and Regional Police of local crime statistics.

After the meeting, the head of the local security reported data from January to September 2014 following the positive trend of recent years, as the overall crime rate has dropped by 2% over the same period of 2013. thus, the crime rate stays five points in 33.81 per thousand inhabitants, below the provincial average, which is at 38.69 per thousand inhabitants and also significantly lower than the regional, which is 37.11 crimes per thousand inhabitants.

Specifically, this year Jávea has recorded a total of 1,121 complaints of crimes and misdemeanors, the most frequent property crimes (burglary without the presence of inhabitants).

Ortolá expressed his satisfaction for these good figures and highlighted that since the launch of the Local Safety Plan 2011 crime rate has been reduced by 5.07 points. Both Ortolá and the Mayor congratulated all officers serving in Jávea for continued work to improve safety, essential for citizens, and coordination that allows for a better service.

Agenda 21 Report Page 16

December 2014/January 2015 Nº 20

Continued from page 12

Pre-election musical chairs

Jávea's Political parties are getting geared up for next May's municipal elections. Xabia Democratica held its AGM in the Parador and we reported on the event in our October edition.

President Anton stated: "XD does not promise miracles, but wants to convey the idea that united we can achieve much more, and an improved well-being and sustainable future for all."

Compromis is also calling public meetings to discuss the possibility of having a joint candidature with the new political party Podemos-Xabia and the EUPV. In a statement they said: the "complexity of the political situation in Jávea requires far-reaching alliances" and notes that "10 years after the start of the development of the new General Plan and the sixth year since the start of the crisis, Jávea continues without having a substantive discussion about the town and model of development."

Xabia recycles more

The Department of Environment and Services has made available to the public all of the data on the management of rubbish generated in Jávea. These figures show that almost 21% of the 13,200 metric tons of rubbish that has been generated thus far this year has been deposited in the special recycling containers (glass, paper, cardboard and plastic packaging) during 2014, the highest figure ever recorded.

Government advises against Oil exploration in the Gulf of Valencia

The Directorate General of the Sustainability of the Coast and Sea (Ministry of Agriculture, Food and Environment) has accepted the environmentalist case against oil prospecting in the Gulf of Valencia, and concludes that cetaceans, turtles and birds would be harmed if prospecting went ahead.

Their report states the project area of some 2400 km2 is within the proposed ZEPIM area (Zonas especialmente protegidas de importancia para el Mar Mediterráneo) of a migration corridor for whales, dolphins and sea turtles which are protected by European, National and regional laws as well as various international agreements.

"Due to the huge area and the time period is considered that the negative potential effect on the marine fauna its of a magnitude great enough to advise against the development of the project"says the report. The report, which was requested by the regional Department of Industry and Energy a year ago will now be sent to the oil company Cairns for its response.

"Calpe Rock" natural park to be extended

27 years since the Natural park of the Peñon de Ifach was recognised, the Valencia Government's Department of Infrastructure, Planning and the Environment has published a draft decree extending the park by an additional 7 hectares.

The proposal affects an area of the north slope already designated by the Townhall as under special protection, and a plot of undeveloped municipal land near the Yacht Club. The total size is now 53.3 hectares.

Valencia Governent calls meeting with mayors about Montgó fire

The Diretor General of the Valencia Envronment Department has met with the mayors of Jávea and Denia to brief them on what the Generalitat intends to do about the after effects of the Montgo fire. Apparently work has already started, and there have been complaints about the use of heavy machinery to remove burned pines - the weight of which could damage already fragile soil.

Ironically, the Goveming Board of the Montgo Natural Park has not met since the fire.

AMJASA bids to reduce their 2015 power supply - currently 774,000 €uros

Jávea’s municipal water company has approved the opening of the procurement process for the supply of electricity for next year. The budget of 774,000 euros includes energy wells, the pumping system of the entire water network and offices. Continuing the strong commitment to reduce as far as possible the emission of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere (the last cars bought by the company are electric), the municipal precedence proposals to

Jávea Jeard

ensure a high percentage of renewable energy and low pollution.

AMJASA agreed to acquire two new tools with which to improve the overall office management and client care as geolocation their networks. The latter, a system of geographical information called GIS (with budget of 30,000 euros), is used by the company, but now the board considers it necessary to modernise and adapt to new needs, for example, including plans where network pressure data is shown on a graph.

In addition to the pipes, this geolocalizara can be loaned to other service networks such as sanitation, sewer or street lights, sharing it with other municipal departments.

The other purchase (for 100,000€) is more focused on the integration of all departments of the office, including recruitment, accounting or customer service, as it will send notices to subscribers.

The system of recruitment of both applications will be advertised shortly on the AMJASA website, together wth different economic reports of the municipal company.

Josep Lluis Henarejos CEO of Amjasa, announced they had closed the 3rd quarter wth "exceptionally good" economic performance, largely due to the continuous reduction of costs and increased water consumption in times of drought as we are suffering. Water consumption rose significantly in Jávea during the Summer but it still sold water to the Teulada- Benitachell water consortium, that increased to 180,000 cubic metres this summer).

Woman to Woman Jávea Jeard

(but men are welcome)

Christmas time is always very special to me. Money was scarce in our house but Mum used to pay some money into a club each week throughout the year so we had extra money to spend at Christmas.

I was the eldest of four children and when Mum bought Christmas gifts for my brother and sisters, she used to wrap them up and give them to me to hide. Very clever when you think of it, she knew that when we were searching for gifts before Christmas as children always do, I would steer them away from where they were hidden. Hiding the tin of Quality Street away

December 2014/January 2015 Nº 20

by Ann Read after her 5-year ‘rest’

until Christmas Day had its perks! I opened the tin and took out all the purple ones which I love and carefully shook the tin to make it look full before sealing it up again! There were complaints when the tin was finally opened and all the purple ones were missing, but I never confessed!

My Auntie Violet and Uncle Bill lived in Peckham a few miles away from us and spent Christmas Day with us each year.

They married late in life and didn't have any children but loved to spend time with our family.

Each year Violet would buy large empty Santa stockings and fill

Page 17

them with sweets, toys and chocolate for Carol, Derek, Linda and myself. Mum and Dad always went to the pub on Christmas Eve and when they came home, we were all in bed fast asleep. Dad would load himself up with presents and climb the stairs to put them on our beds. Problem was that when he had a few drinks he was unsteady on his feet and quite often he would fall up the stairs with a clatter which would wake my Sister Linda and I up.

Fortunately Derek who was four years younger than me and Carol who was eight, wouldn't wake up and for years they believed that Santa was real.

On Boxing Day Auntie Violet treated us all to a visit to Deptford to the Pantomime. One year there was a horse in the show (two men in costume) and the children were invited to go on

Continued on page 20

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Page 18

SPAIN’S LEGAL SYSTEM DECIPHERED contributed by Oscar Ricor

December 2014/January 2015 Nº 20

WOT’S IT ALL ABOUT

UNFAIRNESS OF THE LOCAL PLUS VALIA TAX IN SPAIN

Since the beginning of the twentieth century, each “intervivos” or “mortis causa” transmission of an urban property in Spain, is subject to the payment to the local authorities, of the commonly known “Plusvalia” tax.

a) Who is obliged to pay it?

Very briefly, in the case of a donation or inheritance, the person receiving the property. However, in a purchase transaction, the seller must pay it unless

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the vendor might be “non-resident” in Spain. In this case, if the seller might default in paying it, the buyer will then also be liable! (which is why we always prevent this situation by devising mechanisms aimed to ensure the payment of the tax is always made by the seller on completion at the Notary).

b) How is it calculated?

The main controversy about this tax resides precisely about this question.

This is a tax based on the increase of the value of the land from the date the owner acquired the property to the time of the present sale. (Do not get confused with the 3% retention, which is indeed calculated on the actual selling price of the property).

However, due to the significant decline in property prices since 2008 as a consequence of the economic crisis in Spain, local authorities are applying the cadastral value of the property (instead of its market price), basically in order to be able to raise more money from the taxpayer. The reason for this unfair practice is due to the fact that the local plusvalia tax implies an important source of income for all Spanish Town Halls.

Likewise, unfortunately for the moment, there is no final judgment rendered by the Supreme Court declaring the illegality of this tax.

What is happening at the moment in reality is that local authorities keep charging at the moment “fictitious gains” irrespective of the fact that the property owner might have lost money with his property investment.

In our view, to be obliged to pay for a tax regarding a property that has lost its value not only is illogical but also contrary to the principle of fairness.

Including a Charity in your Spanish Will. Can you do it?

What are the advantages?

The response is affirmative. Making a Will is obviously an important way of looking after the future of your family and closest friends. After you’ve taken care of your loved ones, you may also wish to leave a gift in your Will to your favourite charities.

Jávea Jeard

However, if you choose to leave a gift to a good cause you should bear in mind the following important considerations: 1. If you are English national and you make a Spanish Will, the law of your nationality will apply, so you will not be limited by the restrictions imposed by the Spanish law with regards to compulsory legal heirs. (For example, just for your information, a Spanish national married with children would only be able to dispose freely of 1/3 of his assets).

2. Make it clear exactly which charity you want to receive your gift.

Even if the charity might have an international scope, (i.e several centres all over the world), always remember to choose a charity with a registered Spanish tax identification number, (C.I.F number) and also with a physical real address in Spain, (specify its local branch in Spain).

Otherwise, the process of contacting the charity abroad will be extremely difficult and filled with all kind of bureaucratic obstacles.

3. In order to avoid possible legal disputes between coinheritors, if you are thinking of appointing more than one legal heir in your Will, it is highly advisable that you assign the charity a specific legacy, consisting of any easily identifiable asset, (like a property, shares, fixed sum of money...). Only if you are not planning to appoint any other coinheritors, would it then be feasible and safe to appoint the charity as your sole legal beneficiary.

4. It is important that after making the Will, you inform or preferably give a copy of the Will to the charity, for its own records.

5. Finally, if your estate is liable to Inheritance Tax, you will be able to reduce the amount due by choosing to give money to charity. In other words, if you leave a gift to a charity in your will, its value will be exempt from inheritance tax and it will be subsequently deducted from your estate (your money, possessions and property) before Inheritance Tax is worked out. (Gifts made before your death may also qualify for exemption).

Continued on page 19

Jávea Jeard

Spanish law deciphered

Problems with the Community of owners

Continued from previous page

Real consultation just received by a very good client; “The owner’s community has decided during the last AGM, to install an elevator in the building. Am I legally obliged to contribute to the installation’s cost, even though I am just the owner of a local for business and not the owner of any dwelling?”

Our response: YES, as the owner of a local for business located in a building of 10 apartments, you would be obliged to contribute to the payment in accordance to your ownership’s share.

The Spanish Horizontal Property Law is very specific in its articles 10 and 11 and it can oblige community of owners to take (and to pay) for all the necessary works required to make the common areas “accessible”, like lifts or other electromechanical devices, like wheelchair lifts. Likewise, the maintenance and upgrade of these new installations will be subjected to the same rules that any other common area facility.

This view is reinforced by recent jurisprudence of the Supreme Court, which widens or extends the meaning of habitability and subsequently it widens the scope and application of the “Law 51/2003, of 2 December, on Equal Opportunities, Non-discrimination and Universal Accessibility for People with Disabilities” as well as articles 9.2, 10,14 and 49 of the Spanish Constitution We hope you find this information useful and remember, should you ever need a reliable, 100% independent, honest, cost effective and efficient English speaking Spanish solicitor, to help you with your property conveyance matters, (or with any other legal dispute problem), make sure you visit our websites: www.ricorabogados.com and www.englishsolicitorinspain.com or alternatively, please do not hesitate to contact us by e-mail at ricorsolicitors@yahoo.co.uk Thank you very much for your kind attention and we look forward to helping you!

Señor Oscar Ricor “NON-PRACTISING ENGLISH SOLICITOR IN ENGLAND AND WALES”, under the “Solicitors Regulation Authority” (SRA) SRA number 519196 and practicing Spanish Solicitor Nº1247

The Christmas Flight

December 2014/January 2015 Nº 20

It was a few days before Christmas. The trip went reasonably well, and he was ready to go back home. The airport was a nightmare and loudspeakers blared elevator renditions of cherished Christmas Carols.

Being someone who didn't take Christmas very seriously, and being slightly tired, he was not in a particularly good mood. Going to check-in his luggage, he saw hanging mistletoe. Not real mistletoe, but very cheap plastic with red paint on some of the rounder parts and green paint on some of the flatter and pointer parts, that could be taken for mistletoe. With a considerable degree of irritation and nowhere else to vent it, he said to the attendant, "Even if we were married, I would not want to kiss you under such a ghastly mockery of mistletoe."

"Sir, look more closely at where the mistletoe is."

"OK, I see that it's above the luggage scale which is the place you'd have to step forward for a kiss."

"That's not why it's there."

Page 19

"OK, I give up. Why is it there?"

"It's there so you can kiss your luggage good-bye."

A CHRISTMAS TREAT

It was the day after Christmas at a church in San Francisco. Pastor Mike was looking at the nativity scene outside when he noticed the baby Jesus was missing from the figures.

Immediately, Pastor Mike turned towards the church to call the police. But as he was about to do so, he saw little Jimmy with a red wagon, and in the wagon was the figure of the little infant, Jesus.

Pastor Mike walked up to Jimmy and said, "Well, Jimmy, where did you get the little infant?" Jimmy replied, "I got him from the church."

"And why did you take him?"

With a sheepish smile, Jimmy said, "Well, about a week before Christmas I prayed to little Lord Jesus. I told him if he would bring me a red wagon for Christmas, I would give him a ride around the block in it."

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Woman to Woman

Page 20

December 2014/January 2015 Nº 20

Continued from page 17

the stage and have a ride. I begged Auntie Violet to take me up on stage, which she did, but when I was in front of the hundreds of people I got stage fright and persuaded Violet to ride on the horse first. She was a big lady and the horse was staggering with her weight. Finally, half way round the stage, the horse collapsed on the floor leaving Violet rolling about on the floor.

The audience just roared with laughter, but I wasn't very amused that they were laughing at my Auntie Violet.

One Christmas which made a great impact on my life was when I was living with my in-laws in Sidcup with our 6-month old son Peter. Clive's Mum and Dad hadn't spoken to each other for years, except when absolutely necessary. I don't think either of them could remember why they had fallen out, but the silent treatment carried on. Pop (as we affectionately called him) was a foreman bricklayer who came home from work each day about 5pm. Mum worked at Tiptop bakery (later to be Sunblest) and came home much later. Peter had a carrycot which was placed underneath the drop-down table of the kitchen cabinet and each day he seemed to be listening for Pop to come home. As soon as the back door opened Peter's little legs would pump up and down in the cot and he would squeal for Pop to pick him up. Pop would say as he came through the door "It's no good you making all that noise little one, you know I have to wash my hands before picking you up." Peter adored Pop. As soon as he picked him up he would sit him on his knee and give him spoonfuls of milky tea.

About two weeks before Christmas, Pop brought home a

Christmas tree complete with roots, much to Mum's disgust.

"What's the point, you know we have thrown away all the old decorations and besides that baby is far too small to appreciate a tree, leave it until next year when he is older. But no matter how much she nagged him, Pop took no notice of her. The only time she spoke to Pop was to criticise him! The next evening he came home with loads of decorations and baubles for the tree. He put the tree in a tub in the front room, (which was only used at Christmas time, we lived the rest of the time in the kitchen), lit a fire and took Peter in his carrycot into the front room when it was lovely and warm and proceeded to decorate the tree and room. All the time he was talking to Peter as if he could understand every word he said. I don't know who was enjoying it more, Peter or Pop. I just left him to it, he seemed to be enjoying Peter's company.

Christmas Day arrived and Pop appeared with presents for Peter and carefully unwrapped them while Peter watched, it was amazing to see how they bonded together, with Peter being still a baby of 6 months. After Christmas Pop took the tree and planted it in the garden, he really did have green fingers, and said that next year we wouldn't need to buy one because we could dig the one up he’d bought.

About three weeks later, Pop came home from work with pins and needles in his hands and after being treated by his doctor, was admitted to hospital. The pins and needles turned into stiffness and he could hardly move his hands and head, it was heartbreaking to see because he was such a fit 52year-old man. I used to walk to the hospital most days to visit him, pushing Peter in his pram but was never allowed to take

Jávea Jeard

him in. I had to leave him outside, trusting the watchful eye of the nurses. You couldn't risk leaving a baby alone these days.

All the time he was in hospital Mum never visited Pop and one Saturday afternoon there was a terrific row in the kitchen between Mum and my brother-inlaw Derek. He was furious that Mum hadn't been to see Pop and he told her that if she didn't go that weekend, he would never set foot in the house again. Mum was in tears and promised to go on the Sunday. But at 6am on the Sunday morning the hospital telephoned to say that Pop had died in his sleep. Mum was so full of remorse and she began to take it out on me, I think she was bitter that I had visited him so often in the hospital and she hadn't taken the opportunity to say goodbye.

What a blessing that Pop hadn't listened to Mum when she told him it was better to leave the tree and decorations for a year until Peter was old enough to appreciate them. Because next year never came for him! When I think back, I just remember the pleasure he had buying the tree, decorations and presents, he told me after Christmas that it was one of the best he had ever had. The joy and pleasure Peter gave him in those last months are something that I will never forget.

It's also a stark reminder to us all,

Concluded on page 26

Peter Ayling

Still here when others have left Tel.: 96 646 0933 Mob.: 616 375 608

Jávea Jeard Sp o Jávtlight ea on peo ple

‘White House’ Sally has unusual talent

This column is all about people in our community and their everyday lives that connect them to Jávea. Last month we turned the Spotlight to feature the young and talented footballer named Taylor Brown. This month’s spotlight falls on local artist Sally Mar who loves to paint flowers, animals and local views.

The story starts when my eMail pings with a confirmation from Clive that I have another assignment to follow up although his instructions to me are brief.

The email simply reads, Ian, Sally is a local artist who paints flowers and things and attached is an image of her art for you to look at.

While looking at the attached photo image of Sally’s art I was immediately captured by the floral painting, bright yellow stamens set against a fusion of subtle pink petals and deep green leaves hanging delicately from a creeping vine.

The floral vines are set against a lightly painted grey wooden background and the vines appear to be creeping through and between the gaps of each piece of wood which then drew my attention to the medium, an old wooden pallet. The rustic look of the pallet with the nails in situ gives the painting a three dimensional feel and a look of old age.

Oddly the style of this painting reminded me of the typical floral paintings usually found on narrow boats.

After exchanging a few emails with Sally we arranged to meet at the Oasis Centre in the Port. Turning up shortly after five I was greeted by a tall man who introduced himself to me as Sally’s other half and his name being Stafford.

Written by Ian Amer

who acknowledges and thanks Linda Jennings as Interpreter and Translator

December 2014/January 2015 Nº 20

Stafford confirmed Sally was on route and we went to await her arrival at The Noray Bar in the port.

While waiting for Sally, Stafford asked me if I had brought along a laptop? “No,” I replied. Stafford said the reason he’d asked was because he had brought with him a memory stick to show me more of Sally’s paintings. Not having my laptop with me meant I was not in a position to view the images on the memory stick and this could be a tricky interview as I thought Sally specialised in painting only floral artworks. Before any interview I usually study my subjects carefully by researching the internet but to be honest I could not find any references to Sally’s website on the internet and so I gathered that she did not have one.

Stafford then pulled out his iPad, plugged-in the memory stick to the USB port where, very quickly, he began scrolling through the many paintings which I was thankful to see before the interview, providing me with more of an idea of the work Sally produces. He connected his iPad to the internet and using the WiFi service provided by the bar I watched him type into his browser www.sallymar.com The website for Sally loaded up instantly and Stafford continued to show me more paintings in the form of personal greetings cards. Incidentally these can be purchased directly from this site.

The cards consisted of paintings ranging from floral bouquets, single stem flowers, fish where there are good examples of carp, poultry, seagulls, lighthouses, beach scenes and traditional Christmas cards all unique in Sally’s water colour style. It was evident to me that many of her paintings were weighted heavily towards poultry and in particular to cockerels. It was obvious that Sally had an important connection

to the cockerels and I wondered why.

The different paintings of the cockerels were each delicately hand painted and each portrait captured the bird’s intricate and colourful plumage.

Sally soon arrived at the restaurant where a bubbly voice called out “hello Ian,” she shook my hand confidently and then turned to Stafford to greet him in a loving and tender manner. You

Page 21

Stafford and Sally

could feel there is a natural chemistry between them. Sally pulled up a chair next to me and all three of us gave our individual drinks order to the camerero before commencing the interview.

Sally grew up in Cheshire, England and as a young student she enjoyed art and wanted to progress further in the subject but unfortunately her teachers at the school felt Sally should be steered more towards academic subjects as she was noted for being a good all round student.

At the age of twenty two, Sally took a job at IBM, Cheshire, where she worked in an office doing clerical duties but eventually grew bored of this and one day asked herself “What am I doing working here?”

Her father noticed she was not happy and so asked if she would like to borrow some money to open a shop.

After careful consideration Sally decided to open a florist shop in the village but before she could do this, had to travel from Cheshire to London for a short floral course where she quickly learned how to make up wedding bouquets, wreaths and other floral arrangements. She says “When I think back to when I decided to open a florist shop it was really the arty part in me coming out because for many years I had been a frustrated artist.”

The florist shop was a success for Sally and she thoroughly enjoyed her work because it was using her natural ability to be creative.

The story then jumps ahead to her then husband who worked for Shell, he was posted to Cairo, Egypt, in 1992 which meant that Sally would leave the shores of England to accompany him.

While living in Cairo, Sally became a lady of leisure because for expat housewives to find work was terribly difficult, in fact near on impossible.

Sally found a local artist who provided her with art lessons where she studied the mediums of pencil, pen and ink and water colours that helped her to experiment and bring out the best in her creative nature.

Continued on next page

Focus on Jávea people Page 22

December 2014/January 2015 Nº 20

Continued from previous page In 1996, Sally left Cairo for Beijing, China, another posting with Shell. She says her house was an American style house not far from Beijing Airport. The house was on a residential complex and had a small scruffy garden which gave Sally an idea and an architectural challenge. She decided to plot out a new landscape for the garden which included raised flower beds and other features.

After accomplishing her plan and completing the garden she was presented with an opportunity as the other residents had been admiring her garden design and asked Sally to redesign all four hundred gardens on the complex.

She said “can you imagine this was a big opportunity for me but also a major challenge. I did not speak the language and working with a local team of builders and gardeners with each team sharing my architectural plans, which were only drawn on scrap pieces of paper, seemed like it was a disaster waiting to happen.

“Somehow the plans were being adhered to by the workers and it was great to watch the featureless gardens slowly taking shape with new flower beds, raised borders, fountains and ponds. It was just unbelievable that in the end everything fell into place and went exactly to my plans.”

While in Beijing, Sally learnt Chinese Art which is the use of thick brush strokes to make stunning effects like flowers, writing, fish and wild animal artworks. Sally also learned how to produce fine intricate hand paintings on Porcelain China of fruits and flowers which she was taught by a French artist.

After her marriage breakdown Sally decided in 1999, to return to the UK but admits she found it very difficult to settle. Eventually and through friends she met Stafford who at the time was a successful children’s book publisher.

In 2003, both Sally and Stafford decided to move to Jávea, a place Sally knew well as her parents owned an apartment here and after the sad passing of her father her mother came here to live.

After moving to Jávea, Sally and Stafford became exclusive agents for The White Company, from where the

PRINTING

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can meet your EVERY printing need from personal and business stationery, canvas (framed) prints and T and Polo shirts and 1€ cards that no one else supply.

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603 513 702

Spanish shop partly took its name as “la casa blanca” (The White House).

Stafford confirmed that I should use a small “L” in the word “la”.

The shop was in Jávea Port and became successful for SELLING quality bed linen, towels and children’s ware. Sally also started to present her paintings as gift ideas for the shops customers and her flair for art helped in dressing the shop window where she produced some fine displays.

Both Stafford and Sally said it was a great business but unfortunately they had to take the decision and regrettably close the business down in 2012 as the recession tightened its grip.

Their next business venture came in early 2013 when the pair opened a Gite and Chambre d’hote (a Bed & Breakfast with an option for an evening meal) in the Dordogne, and so after packing up their possessions but keeping on their apartment in the port, Sally and Stafford left Jávea for France. During their first year working in the hospitality industry the popular company “Trip Advisor” awarded them a Certificate for Excellence.

I asked Sally if she managed to paint while running the Gite and Chambre d’hote, she said “very much so whether it was the French wine or the cheese my paint brushes did come out and I started to paint greeting cards using farmyard and other animals as my themes. I enjoyed painting poultry especially the cockerels as this is the national emblem of France and it was here that I found a lot of inspiration for my work.” This was the answer to why Sally’s paintings weighted heavily towards cockerels it was simply that she had found the inspiration to paint when she lived in France. Sally also exhibited her fine works of art at the local art exhibitions near Bergerac.

I then asked Stafford what are his favourite paintings, for a moment he paused, smiled and said “without doubt

Jávea Jeard

it has to be the collection of cockerels because of our French experience and of course the influences it had on Sally.

However I also enjoy looking at her paintings of hares and other woodland animals that she has done using water colours.”

After having a good year and with a bright future ahead of them in France a turn of unexpected personal events meant that they had to sell the Gite and Chambre d’hote and return to Jávea.

The interview then moved to how Sally finds her ideas and where does she start when producing her works of art.

Sally said the floral pallet idea came about when one day she was walking along the harbour with her Northern Spanish Sheepdog called Robbie. She said “I spotted a discarded pallet lying in the roadside near Club Nautica in Jávea Port and so decided to take the pallet home with me.” She had a rough idea as to the painting style but was not certain how the painting would develop and so Sally painted onto the pallet a light grey emulsion background then let her hands naturally coordinate the brushes and the flow of creativity using water colours saw the flowers, leaves Continued on page 23

Jávea Jeard

Focus on Jávea people

Continued from page 22 and vines emerge and sprout into the floral pallet painting.

Sally sometimes takes digital photos of local locations which she uses only for a reference but very often her paintings come from recollection. She prefers the beauty of simplicity and so for this reason some of her paintings are without backgrounds.

Her favourite medium is water colour but this may be about to change as Sally is just discovering acrylics and is beginning to experiment with them in more paintings. Sally likes to use Windsor Newton paint brushes and many years ago she was lucky to have received some as a gift from a friend who had been to Holland. She said believe it or not I am still using these old brushes as they are really fantastic although the wooden handles have now somewhat worn down.

She likes the styles of Claude Monet, the founder of French impressionist painting, but it was also evident that there are many other artists who provide Sally with inspiration and passion for the different styles and creativity in her art.

Sally told me “expression and passion to paint comes from deep within

December 2014/January 2015 Nº 20

and you need continuous inspiration to create art”. Her enthusiasm and inspiration for most of her paintings comes from being out of doors especially when she is out walking and listening to natural sounds. She added that her preference is to paint in natural light. Stafford then picks up on our conversation and says “an artists simply cannot turn up for work at nine and finish at five and it is important for the artist to feel in a creative mood before they start work”. He continued to comment that if he had met Sally earlier in life he would have certainly commissioned her artworks as illustrations for the children’s books he once published.

I asked Sally if she had any commissions lined up to which her reply was “let me tell you a secret, I have been asked to paint a floral pattern onto an interior wall in somebodies house. To Concluded on page 25

Page 23

Casa Segura Locksmiths Casa Segura Locksmiths was established in 2004.

Company Owner, Carl Barclay, fluent in Spanish (having grown up in Javea in the 1970's) and a well-established member of the local community, is a trusted source used by the Local Police and Guardia Civil.

Having an already established key-holding business, a security retail outlet and a mobile installation and emergency service, Carl offers a rapid response and quality service.

We take emergency lock-out situations seriously and will respond 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. If you need an emergency service please avoid calling numbers from stickers on your gate, these numbers connect you to call centres charging extortionate rates. Always confirm a call-out fee first.

Carl Barclay 659 853 645 www.locksmithspain.net

Pool Problems?

Page 24

Are you ready for

December 2014/January 2015 Nº 20

New pumps, filters, lights, timers etc.

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C/. Toni Llido, 03730 JAVEA-PORT (on the corner with Virgen de Loreto) Tel: 96 579 4495

More HUMOUR?

Wetherspoons . . . for Lunch?

A group of men, in their 40s, discussed where they should meet for lunch.

Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the waitresses had big breasts and wore mini-skirts.

Ten years later, in their 50s, the friends once again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the food and service was good and the beer selection was excellent.

Ten years later, in their 60s, the friends again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because there was plenty of parking, they could dine in peace and quiet, and it was good value for money.

Ten years later, in their 70s, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the restaurant was wheelchair accessible and had a toilet for the disabled.

Ten years later, in their 80s, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because they had never been there before. sent from Billie Cook

A HEARTY LAUGH

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a wellknown heart surgeon in his shop.

The surgeon was there, waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike.

The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?"

The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, fix ‘em, put ‘em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic... "'Try doing it with the engine running."

Jávea Jeard

Dublin Mortuary

“First body,” says the coroner, “Pierre Dubois, Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his 20-year old mistress. Hence the smile.

“Second body is Gregory Campbell, Scotsman, 25, won £50,000 on the lottery. Spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile,” he says.

The Police Inspector asked, “So what about this third body?”

“Ah," says the coroner " this is the most unusual one. Paddy, Irish, 30, struck by lightning.”

“Why the broad grin, then?” inquires the Inspector.

“He thought he was having his picture taken.”

DAFTLAND

We live in a country called Daftland The England we knew is no more, Where sensible people do ludicrous things Or risk breaking some Daftland law.

In Daftland we've police dogs with muzzles Less the villain has cause to complain, And to steal from a shop and say ‘sorry’ Means you’re free with no stain to your name.

You had better leave lights on in buildings When you lock up and go home at night, ‘cause the burglars might hurt themselves stealing And there's no way you'll be in the right.

When speaking be wary in Daftland As some terms that you've used all your life, Now have connotations unintended And you'll end up in all sorts of strife.

We elect politicians in Daftland To give us the laws of the land, Yet eight laws in ten now come from abroad The whole thing has got out-of-hand.

The borders are open in Daftland And of migrants there's no keeping track, Just a few of the thousands illegally here Will ever be caught and sent back.

The exception to this is the hero Who fought for this land in the war, He's old and he's sick, he might cost us a bit So he's not welcome here any more.

Millions on benefits in Daftland So cough up your taxes galore, You can claim at the DHSS office Cos its better if you don't work anymore.

When the history is written of Daftland Historians may just recall, That the craziest people in Daftland Were the public who put up with it all.

“Foreign aid is taking money from the poor people of a rich country and giving it to the rich people of a poor country.”

Jávea Jeard

Focus on Jávea people

Continued from page 23 find out how I would go about this commission I decided to empty out my wardrobe and on the back wall dabbled and experimented with a floral pattern and that’s all I can say for the moment”.

Sally has three children and three grandchildren who are Max, age 5, Ruby age 2 and Olivia age 1.

Her eldest daughter Amy is a budding artist where she is studying fine art at Nottingham University, the youngest daughter Rosie is also extremely creative while her son Jonathon is not artistic but is a chartered surveyor.

As the interview draws to a close I ask Sally if she is planning to exhibit her work in Jávea. The answer to my question is surprising. The local art school had tried to organise an art exhibition at the Casa de Cable in the port where it would have provided an equal opportunity for the local artists to promote and showcase their work but so far the powers to be have shown no interest.

If you would like to view Sally’s paintings, or purchase her personal greetings cards you can visit her website at www.sallymar.com or you can email her at sally@sallymar.com

CO-INCIDENCE OF LIFE

December 2014/January 2015 Nº 20

l. CHURCH has 6 letters so does MOSQUE. 2. BIBLE has 5 letters so does QURAN. 3. LIFE has 4 letters so does DEAD. 4. HATE has 4 letters, so does LOVE....

5. ENEMIES has 7, so does FRIENDS. 6. LYING has 5, so does TRUTH. 7. HURT has 4, so does HEAL. 8. NEGATIVE has 8, so does POSITIVE. 9. FAILURE has 7, so does SUCCESS. 10. BELOW has 5, but so does ABOVE. 11. CRY has 3 letters so does JOY. 12. ANGER has 5 so does HAPPY. 13. RIGHT has 5 so does WRONG. 14. RICH has 4 so does POOR. 15. FAIL has 4 so does PASS 16. KNOWLEDGE has 9 so does IGNORANCE. Are they all by Co-incidence? We should Choose wisely, this means LIFE is like a Double-Edged Sword.

If you think it is your alarm clock that woke you up this moming, try putting it beside a dead body and you will realise that it is the Grace of God that woke you up. from Adeyinka David Koyejo

Page 25

BRIC-A-BRAC, FOOD and Bottle Tops can be brought to OASIS HELP CENTRE in Toni LLido 5 (at the Dolphin roundabout) for CHARITY RECYCLING 10am - 2pm Mon-Sat.

When it’s URGENT LETTERS AND CARDS brought

to our office before 11am on a Monday, Wednesday or Friday will be in UK NEXT DAY. BIG CARDS - buy an A4 card from us, address the envelope with UK address and for a total outlay of 3,60€ it will be in UK next day. You can’t even buy a big card for that elsewhere in Jávea.

ELSEWHERE in SPAIN Overnight service - Monday to Friday using MRW. PASSPORT SERVICE, too.

Oasis Help Centre (open 10-2) C/. Toni Llido 5 (in Port) behind La Caixa bank.

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can now be sent to your own Jome!

All work carried out by Qualified Legal Tradesman

By law, all workmen should be legal.

Clients can be fined if illegal workers are used.

TREVOR SIMMONS & Co 606 007 246 / 96 647 0893

trevmsimmons@gmail.com

Don’t miss out on our News and Views if you live overseas or would prefer to jave a copy delivered to your Jávea Jome.

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Postal Address . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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The Annual Subscription for 2015 is 12€ in Spain, and £20 (UK cheque: A2Z Publications) to UK.

Send to: Apartado de Correos 227, VERGEL 03770 (Alicante)

Further details available from:

clive@cliveread.com or phone 669 386 702

Woman to Woman

Christmas Traditions

Page 26 December 2014/January 2015 Nº 20 Continued from page 20

that we never know if any of us will have a next year, a time to put things right that may have happened in the past. Life is too short to hold grudges against someone, Christmas is a good opportunity to send a card and letter to someone who won't expect it because there have been issues in the past.

The run-up to Christmas is always a busy time for Clive, Peter and I at the Oasis Centre.

We have been busy selling cards since the beginning of October, and we have printed and sold dozens of Jávea calendars, A4 size to put in the post for relatives and friends and A3, large enough to hang on the kitchen wall and enter all our hospital and doctor appointments! As well as other appointments of course! Next week we will decorate the Oasis and our Christmas tree. Last year we encouraged customers to bring small gifts or sweets and chocolates, which I wrapped and placed under the tree. They were passed on to the Harvest Store to give to needy children when they distribute their food. We will be doing the same this year so we would appreciate small toys or chocolate to give to the children once again in time for the Kings celebration.

We will be holding our Carol Service on Sunday 21st December at 11am, followed by tea and mince-pies and a Christmas Day service also at 11am, followed by refreshments.

Everyone is very welcome

Why not come and join us? May I take this opportunity to wish all our readers of Jávea Jeard a happy and peaceful Christmas and New Year, and a sincere THANK YOU to all the friends we’ve made at the Oasis Help Centre. YOUR support keeps the doors open.

in Spain

Christmas in Spain gets off to a rather peculiar and unofficial start on Dec. 22nd when children from San Ildefonso School can be heard calling out the numbers and prizes of the Lotería de Navidad, which is likely the most followed Spanish lottery during the entire year. In Spain, when you hear the melodic sounds of the prize draw on the radio, you think: “Christmas time has arrived.”

After the celebration of economic good fortune, Dec. 24th is Christmas Eve (Nochebuena in Spanish), which is a family celebration in which Spaniards often gather around a table loaded with exquisite delicacies to have dinner together (and when we say family in Spanish, the word suggests a great deal of people). The annual family affair is a joyful event, where the sumptuous meal and the high spirits carry on until late at night. Many Christians also attend the Misa del Gallo, a mass service offered at midnight on the 24th during which Christmas carols are sung and accompanied by traditional instruments such as the zambomba (a type of seasonal drum), the carraca (a ratchet like noisemaker), tambourine, and of course, the guitar.

Something of a new holiday tradition has been gaining in popularity in Spain for the last few decades inspired by the popular culture of other countries; Santa Claus, known in Spain as Papá Noel, brings gifts for children to open on Christmas Eve, which means that on Christmas Day parks and plazas fill with children playing with their friends and showing them their new toys. In some parts of Spain, you can find other types of traditional figures such as Olentzero (a coal vender who descends from the Basque mountains to leave gifts for good children and coal for the bad ones) and Tió de Nadal in Catalonia and Aragon, who deposits gifts and candy in the homes of children. These figures also make appearances on Christmas Day, figures that can be considered natives to the region in contrast to the more recent arrival of Papa Noel.

Another special day that comes around during Christmas time is Dec. 28th, the “Día de los Santos Inocentes”, a day that originally commemorated the young victims of a massacre ordered by biblical-age governor of Judea, Herodes.

The governor hoped to eliminate the future threat to his power after prophets announced the recent birth of a new

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“king of the Jewish people”. The word inocente in Spanish can also mean simple or naïve, and this day in Spain is celebrated in much the same way as April Fool’s Day is in other cultures, meaning Dec. 28th is a day to watch out for tricks or “inocentadas” that pranksters are looking to play on people.

While Christmas Eve is a family celebration, New Year’s Eve (called Nochebuena in Spanish) is a time for partying with friends. It is a night for throwing fiestas called “cotillones” or for gathering in town squares under the old clock tower waiting in anxious anticipation for it to strike twelve.

According to tradition, observers must wolf down 12 grapes at this time to guarantee good fortune for the New Year. Afterward, excited revellers often offer toasts to the New Year with glasses of cava. The festive spirit continues until the wee hours of the early morning and January 1st is a day of rest for those who have partied away the last night of the old year.

On Jan. 5th, many make their way to their favourite bakeries to order a Roscón de Reyes (a ring shaped cake eaten on Jan. 6th), which they will enjoy for breakfast the following day. Much more than a day for sweet traditions, the main focus here is on the children, as parades roll through town in which the Reyes Magos (three kings) and their pages shower candy over delighted children. After all the high emotions, nervous children will have a tough time falling asleep that night, particularly because the following morning is the feast day of the epiphany, when the three kings will traditionally arrive from the east to leave gifts for the well-behaved.

Christmas in Spain is a time of Christmas carols, decorations, festive street lighting, joy, and a festive atmosphere – religious or secular - made evident by the smiles on the faces of people as they look around town for gifts for their loved ones.

POPPY APPEAL We are grateful to our customers and congregation for a total of 82,38€ in the Poppy Collection Box at the Oasis Help Centre. Jávea Branch have given us a receipt.

Jávea Jeard It’s all smiles at Jávea Iceland

Shoppers at Jávea’s specialist frozen and UK food supermarket (operated under the ICELAND name) will spot another friendly face as they shop for FROZEN food at COOL prices but not because he wears the company uniform.

New Manager Conor Delaney, has transferred from the megastore in Torrevieja, and it is clear from looking at the smiling faces of the staff that Conor - who came to Spain from Southern Ireland - is as popular with them as he wants to be with shoppers.

When asked if we could have a photo of him for Jávea Jeard, he immediately suggested we include some of the employees. Left to right are Conor Delaney, Caroline Neale, Sally Knights, Tracy MacMillan and Ashley Flemming.

Asked for his first thoughts about the new appointment, Conor told us “I am very happy to be here in the Jávea store and have met some wonderful people and customers over the past few weeks.

For my interests I can’t beat working for Overseas supermarkets, where I get to work with some of the most friendly people in the business.

“We wish all our customers a merry Christmas and happy new year.”

BRAGGING RIGHTS

Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, ‘My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him £50.‘ The second boy says, ‘That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him £100.‘ The third boy says, ‘I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!‘

If you have Scallops vouchers you are unable to use, you can leave them in the box outside the OASIS CENTRE (in C/. Toni Llido, at the rear of La Caixa bank) and we will see that their value is not wasted.

It costs you nothing to give away what you cannot use.

December 2014/January 2015 Nº 20

Page 27

JOB OFFER: FULL TIME TELECOM TECHNICIAN and INSTALLER SWISS CABLE REF: TEC523

We are recruiting a full time technician telecom installer to help in our growth. Based in North Costa Blanca (Spain).

Start date Dec to Feb 2015.

Please email to jobs@swisscable.es and quote REF:TEC723 – Knowledge of instruments to measure Role and Responsibilities QPSK & QAM signals both TV SAT CABLE This is a hands-on technician job with 8 & Internet DOCSIS + Ethernet connectors hours on the street / customer house work.

The primary responsibility of this position – Capability to effectively communicate is the installation of Internet or telecom in English required. German or Spanish is a services for our customers in the Jávea / plus Marina Alta area including: – Understanding of telecom electronics – Installing wireless and cable TV and and schemes for cable networks Internet services – Driving license valid in Spain – Following the quality parameters of the company: technically and when in Personal Competencies contact with customers Team player - Able to communicate – Fault finding of problems at customers effectively in English - Good attention to sites and our own network detail - Well presented - Professional - Well – Reporting work results back to the organized - Good client facing skills company in written form – Communicating and liaise effectively Professional Competencies with the rest of the technicians and Effective and efficient - Proactive for work customer care department - Tidy - Daily planning required – Understanding of the service provided and the technology Anne Swain (Sales and Customer Care) Relevant experience and training Essential – Experience in towers and masts working at 20 or 30 meter heights – Experience in cable QAM networks: connectors all sizes (NK22, etc) and street boosters repairs – Experience in telecom installations: satellite QPSK signals, cable QAM signals, wifi, telephone copper pair, fibre knowledge is a plus

Balcón al Mar, Ctra. Cabo de la Nao, 67 03738 Jávea (Alicante) Tel: 96 577 1121 (Mon – Fri, 9 - 14 hrs.)

English, Deutsch Tel. 96 647 1201 (Lu – Vi, 9-14h) Español e-mail: anne@swisscable.es www.swisscable.es www.bogatel.es http://twitter.com/SWISSCABLENET

A Look at the new Podemos Economic Document

Page 28 December 2014/January 2015 Nº 20

Following the publication of Podemos’s new “economic framework document”, Spain Report takes a look at it and talks to a popular Spanish business columnist about its implications.

The meteoric rise of new Spanish political party Podemos is exciting imaginations across the political spectrum in Spain and abroad, especially with regard to their plans for the country’s ailing economy. Several recent polls putting the party in first or second place have led to a notable softening of some of their more radical economic positions, at least in public.

The party’s first proposals shocked economists, investors and political leaders and energised a large number of Spanish voters with ideas such as a democratic audit of the national debt, bringing the retirement age forward to 60, a universal wage for all and taking Spain out of the €uro.

The party’s new secretary general, Pablo Iglesias, announced a revised 68page economic “initial framework document” titled “An Economic Project For People“, co-authored by two university professors, Vicenç Navarro and Juan Torres, with which it intends to begin a “grand discussion” of the best way to drag Spain out of what Mr. Iglesias labelled “an emergency economic situation”.

The party’s populist starting point, says the new document, is “benefiting the majority of the population, and not the most powerful minority groups”, based on the premise that capitalism based on “neoliberal globalisation” is providing many people with “clearly unsatisfactory” results to their problems, and that “the situation we are in is not the result of some natural law” but “of many anti-democratic impositions” by those elitist groups.

Within that global context, Podemos argues: “the most adequate strategy […] is not submission but to fight to establish the conditions that benefit the interests of the majority of the population”, adding that it is “materially impossible” for that aim to be achieved “within the framework of the €uro as it is currently designed”.

“We must assume Spain does not benefit in any way from passively accepting the current way the €uro works, as has happened up to now. […]

It is an unacceptable hand-over of sovereignty, by parties that strangely define themselves as patriots, to have accepted without question the impositions of the European Commission, the European Central Bank and the German government that respond to a neoliberal ideology of private, minority interests that prejudice the popular classes of eurozone countries.”

Podemos would like to increase the EU budget and ease a “more democratised” ECB’s financing rules and statutes to force it aim for full employment and greater cooperation with governments looking to beef up their welfares states, as well as creating eurozone debt pooling and supervisory mechanisms, and a European tax authority.

It calls the electoral promises made by the main traditional parties in Spain— such as the governing Popular Party’s promise of 3.5 million new jobs—”an intellectual fraud”, and says its own economic proposals are based on ideas favoured by a host of Nobel Economics Prize winners.

Juan Ramón Rallo, a popular Spanish business columnist, author and lecturer who holds a doctorate in economics and a law degree, spoke to The Spain Report about the changes to the party’s economic plans.

“They have smoothed out their economic proposals since May”, said Dr. Rallo: “the best thing is that they’ve got rid of the weirder ideas” such as the debt audit or the universal wage for all:

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“but they’re still getting the diagnosis of Spain’s economic troubles wrong”.

Yesterday, the two professors agreed during the presentation of the new Podemos document that the causes of Spain’s current situation were a demand deficit caused by huge cuts to public spending and growing inequality.

“Their solution, though, is more of the same”, said Dr. Rallo: “More spending and more debt. They criticise Rajoy for leading Spain towards default but their proposals would get Spain to default even more quickly”.

The spring proposal that perhaps caused most shock and worry amongst international investors was the idea of a democratic audit of the national debt, but the new document suggests something much less radical.

“Now they’re talking about negotiated debt restructuring”, similar to what happened in Greece: “We are far from being in the Greek situation, but by talking of restructuring, it might not even need to be a haircut, it could just be delayed payment of the principal or interest”.

Their move towards the political centre with their economic proposals means much of their economic programme is now “strikingly similar” to that of the Spanish Socialist Party (PSOE), said Dr. Rallo, and Spaniards must be wary of public promises made at this stage.

Continued on next page

Jávea Jeard

December 2014/January 2015 Nº 20

PODEMOS economic document Continued from previous page

bargaining to Europe, greater social and employment rights and guarantees, an increase in the minimum wage, getting rid of Mariano Rajoy’s employment reform, and “an extraordinary increase in business salary costs or tax financing for as long as the crisis lasts”.

“I think they’re hoping there is another economic crisis next year”, says Dr. Rallo, in reference to the way the global, European and Spanish economic contexts are driving the political situation in Spain in Podemos’s favour as the country enters a triple election year in 2015: “and given the stagnation in Europe, they might get one”. www.thespainreport.com

by Matthew Bennett

“I don’t like to link them to Hugo Chávez as many do, but Chávez before 1998 held very reasonable positions on the economy, he could almost have been European, well within the limits of the script, but then of course things changed.”

Podemos suggests their should be a “fundamental right” to access credit, but when asked by El Mundo columnist John Muller to clarify how people would access their new right, Prof.

Navarro said it would be subject to certain unspecified restrictions. The full document talks of enshrining the right to access credit in the Spanish Constitution “as an essential public service”.

The party wants a “strictly controlled” public banking system and “citizen banks” controlled by voters “to avoid the generalised corruption of the past few years”, and new financial and stock market taxes, all in order to be able to invert what it sees as the elitist economic hierarchy and “put those at the bottom first”.

On unemployment, Spain’s biggest economic problem, Mr. Iglesias says full employment should be the priority of a Podemos government, and suggests, amongst other measures, the solution lies in increased public spending, a 35hour week, “new forms of consumer behaviour without promoting consumerism”, taking collective wage

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Page 29

and had formerly been used by the Morató family for artisanal fisheries.

Now, after an overhaul, it has become a craft that beautifies a public space, wth the much larger vessel looking out for it from the roundabout at the junction with Audius March.

The gift was accepted by Mayor José Chulvi and Services Councillor Doris Courcelles, from Pedro Morato.

MAYOR MAKES CHANGES TO HIS CABINET

José Chulvi, Mayor of Jávea said it was a privileged to have friends like Cesc Camprubi and Antonio Miragall when he announced changes in his governing Cabinet.

He praised Cesc Camprubi for always acting with honesty and sincerity, despite the demands of his daytime job.

It had been agreed that Cesc would no longer be a full-time councillor, but would revert to part’time, with Tourism and Culture Councillor Antonio Miragall (who has a business that promotes travel to travel agents) would become full-time and spokesperson for the Socialist group..

The Mayor explained the change recognised the magnificient contribution already made to the future of Jávea by Tony Miragall, who had expressed his willingness to take on additional responsibility.

The area between Calle Cristo del Mar and Avenida Lepanto, in the Port has been designated as the resting place of a traditional fishing boat, donated by Pedro (the sailor) Morato, that had been built following local tradition and caulked by Amadeo Ros 65 years ago in the worshop he had in Jávea.

The boat was christened "Joaquín"

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Page 30

Jávea Jeard

December 2014/January 2015 Nº 20

No, Mr Carr, She Is Not A Duvet

In Luke Kempner's spot-on spoof, 'The Only Way is Downton', which plays the Jávea Players' Studio Theatre in Jávea old town from Monday January 12 to Friday January 16, cultures clash and eras hilariously collide. So much so that one of the celebrities to turn up at the Abbey is the star of the modern day popular television programme, 'Chatty Man', Alan Carr.

The estate has run out of money. Things are so desperate that the Abbey is taking in paying guests. Of course, one has to be a little bit selective even if the wolf is at the door and only those blessed with serious money, are quite famous and well connected are welcome – television stars, top sportsmen, people with a bit of spare cash to invest in climbing the social ladder all the way to Downton.

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Written and performed by Luke Kempner, 'The Only Way is Downton' was a sell-out at the Edinburgh Festival and when it moved to London. Luke has enjoyed rave reviews and a very successful UK tour with his brilliant parody of the world's best loved period drama. Following its run – just five nights- at the Jávea Players' Studio Theatre, Luke will be taking his show to America for a three month tour Mr Kempner brings a 'cast' of thirty-two to the stage of the Jávea Players' Studio Theatre to tell his hilarious version of Downton which will play there from Monday January 12 to Friday January 16. Curtain-up each evening is at 8pm. Tickets are priced at 12 euros and are available from the box office on 96 579 5390 and online at boxofficejp@gmail.com Theatre-goers who wish to make their evening extra special can enjoy a pre-theatre dinner at the La Cocina restaurant from 6pm.Two courses 15 euros; three 19 euros both including a half-bottle of wine.

Reservations 96 579 5140.

Belts are being tightened – lobster only every other day. Staff are positively encouraged to participate in any venture that could conceivably bring in a little cash. To such end, Bates is planning to play Andy Murray in a tennis tournament; cook, Mrs Patmore and her assistant Daisy are going to compete in the Great British Bake-Off; Sarah O'Brien and Thomas Barrow are going on Pointless.

The Crawley family are making sacrifices. Violet, the Dowager Countess of Grantham is, for the second time, prepared to marry for money.

When she married the Earl of Grantham she brought her upper class blood to the marriage but very little money. This time, if she marries Tom Daley, she is in danger of bringing no money at all to the marriage. Mr Carr has arrived at the Abbey as the Reverend Carr. Should it be that he is going to officiate at the wedding he should swat up with the structure of the British aristocracy.

When he arrived he was heard to exclaim, “What's a dowager anyway? I always thought it was a type of duvet.”

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CHRISTMAS RAFFLE

Raffle tickets are now on sale in the Original Charity Shop and Library in Jávea Park for their usual Christmas raffle FIRST PRIZE 40" full HD, LED, TV - it plays multimedia direct from a memory stick and you can record programmes direct onto a memory stick.

Many other prizes include hampers, wine, chocolates, meal vouchers etc. kindly donated by local businesses.

All proceeds go to buy presents and equipment for the 70 children at Raquel Paya special school and CARITAS. The draw will take place on Saturday, 20th December at noon.

BOOK SALE IN THE LIBRARY

The Original Charity Shop Library in Jávea Park is having a book sale to reduce stock ONLY 1 EURO FOR 5 BOOKS.

and Atención Social Domestica ASocial At encion en on So Soc ocial Domestic yy Do D meesstic me stica ca

WELLIES and THERMALS

December 2014/January 2015 Nº 20

Get your wet weather supplies in now!

It's the time of year when thoughts turn to partying and Christmas, come and get a head start, we have a great selection of jewellery and other bling already and some lovely evening dresses. We also have a great selection of coats and scarves for those chilly, windy days!

Four worms and a lesson to be learned!

The minister decided a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.

Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.

The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.

The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.

The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results: The first worm in alcohol…Dead.

The second worm in cigarette smoke … Dead.

Third worm in chocolate syrup…

Dead.

Fourth worm in good clean soil… was alive and thriving.

So the Minister asked the congregation, "What did you learn from this demonstration?"

Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said… "If you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!"

That pretty much ended the service!

The Condemned man . . .

A man arrived at one of those Swiss suicide clinics. Cost him 44,000 Swiss Francs.

Do you know what was on the menu for breakfast the next morning ............. his last day on earth?

"Cheerios".

We will remember them i i

Page 31

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Nothing could be worse thanand being asked Care Social Domestic la seguidad y comodidad de su propia casa about theEnhealth of your by of your own Home In thespouse, safety and comfort Reliable and Practical support on a Telephone Christina on1 someone who isChunware they have Te l e fo n o Ch r is ti n a e n : 6 9 25 0 4 28 Te l e fo n o r is ti n a e n : 6 9 25 0 4 28 1 flexible, cost-effective basis In the safety and comfort of your own home recently died.

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Te lefono Ch ristina enen : 6 2504281 Telefóno Christina : 9692504281

Email aEmail : diamo erviceses@gmail.com Maureen Drewery atnd: sdiamondserviceses@gmail.com Cheryl Brown on 693 551 107 Stephen Harrison Philip Holmes info@sharecareonline.co.uk David Mark www.sharecareonline.co.uk Les Plum Colin Arthur Smith i i

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Jávea Duty Chemist 24h Each 24h period of duty starts at 9am

Antonio Marín 96 646 1954 Nov. Dec. Jan Avda. Augusta 30 (Rear of Mercadona Pla) 6,19 2,15,28 24, Concepción Rodrigo Gasque Avenida Colomer 3 7,20 3,16,29 11 Consuelo Espinós 96 579 1801 Plaza de la Iglesa 11 (Town) 8,21 4,17,30 12,25 96 579 1099 Belchi-Cholbi Ronda Colón 4 (Town) 9,22 5,18,31 13,26 Amparo Marsal 96 579 1955 Avda. Juan Carlos I, 33 10,23 6,19 1,14,27 Isabel Garcés 96 579 1520 C/. Sevilla 1, (Port) 11,24 7,20 2,15,28 Paz Uriol 96 579 3839 Avenida de la Libertad (Arenal-Playa) 12,25 8,21 3,16,29 Juanna Ripoll 97 577 0900 13,26 9,22 4,17,30 Ctra La Nao (Cala Blanca) Salome Martinez 96 646 2545 Avenida Lepanto 12 (Port) 1,14,27 10,23 5,18,31 Rosa Maria Pérez 96 646 3531 Ctra. Cabo La Nao Pla, 126 (Arenal) 15, 28 11,24 6,19 Antonio Almodóvar 96 646 3994 Plaza Joanot Martorell 5, Av. Amanecer 2, 29 12, 25 7,20 Lydia Gil 96 646 3142 Avda, Fontana 21 (Club de Tenis) 3, 16 13, 26 8,21 Ana Lillo 96 646 3947 Avda. de Palmela 16 (Southern By-Pass) 4,17,30 27 9,22 Vicente Salort 96 647 1133 Ctra la Nao Pla 165 (Barclays Roundabout) 5,18 1,14, 10,23 We are grateful to Antonio Marín (whose premises are 80m South of the rear entrance to Mercadona) for making this information available to our readers.

Julie and Diego welcome you to

BAR PICOTEO

SUNDAY CAN BE SUCH A BORING DAY

But not if you start it at the 11am Morning Service at the Oasis Help Centre, which is as much ‘an entertainment’ as a ‘spiritual experience’, whether it is Clive or Ann who has responsibility as the MC and preacher.

Every Sunday morning is different with refreshments afterwards and many go on to various nearby or Pedgreguer ‘eateries” and find that new friendships and eternal destinies have been carved.

If you need a ‘helping hand’ because we are ALL shy of new demands on our emotions - phone Ann on 669 386 701 or Clive on 669 386 702 and they will arrange for someone (or one of them) to meet you and act as your ‘buddy’.

Jávea Evangelical Church was established in 1992, now meets at the OASIS Help Centre it has created in the street belind LA CAIXA bank in the Port, where it offers 30,000 greeting cards for all occasions for 1€ each, as well as a huge range of print facilities, including one-off 4-colour T and polo shirts.

Av. Jaime 1, Jávea Port

MENU DEL DÍA - 9,50€ 7 starters and 8 main courses inc. drink, dessert, bread, ali oli

More than a dozen ‘one-plate’ meals More than 50 ‘Tapas’ (prepared in-house)

SPECIALITIES PAELLA to order - Tel.: 696 767 349

Fried and grilled mixed fish and shell fish (min order 2 people). Mixed Grilled Vegetables English Breakfast HAMBURGERS

Take-Away Service

Jávea Jeard is published in Jávea by A2Z Publicaciones on behalf of Iglesia Grupo International de Divulgación del Evangélio (CIF: Q0300542H) at OASIS Centre, C/. Toni Llido 5, Jávea 03730

Telephone Tracy on 677 253 488