.
meses de su vida.
En esta Edición Especial muestras de su extraordinar io tres de sus columnas más originalmente en el periód ico
POLITICAL
del Humor no podían fal tar algunas talento. Reproducimos a co ntinuación memorables, que fueron publicadas The San Juan Star y post eriormente
VERBIAGE
During/the years 1 have been cove ring the political scene 1 have had ño choice but to read through and. worse yet, listen to hun dreds of speeches by politici ans. : Not until this year, however, did | notice one significant aspect of these speeches: they are, as a rule, built around a group of key words that hardly ever varies from one speech to the next. These are words that are fa mili arto all, yet their meaning when used by. an inveterate poli tician ¡is quite different from that to which we have been acc ustomed by ordinary usage. For the benefit of people who are not familiar with political usage, 1] would like to offer here a list of definiti ons that will make it much easier to understand any speech by any past, present or future occupant of any appointive or elective post.
CHALLENGE:
Any
undertaking
to
be
faced
by
the
speaker with little hope of success because of his inabilit y to understand the problems: invo lved and his lack of imagination for devising feasible solutions. In common usage it is synonymous with the ordinary duties of the post to which the speaker has been elected or appoimte d.
PROFOUND: An adiective use dto modify any favorable quality which the speaker claims for himgelf or his political camp, such as “profound understanding” and “profound belief”, The connotation of dept h is useful in disguising the shallowness of the speaker's thou ght. ASPIRATIONS: The wishes of the people, filtered through the speaker'
s political prejudices. IDEALS: The speaker's current set of beliefs. FORCEFULLY (enérgicamente) : Adverb used to describe any action the speaker has had no choice but to take. ACH
IEVEMENTS (obra): Mistakes of the past. DEVELOPMENT: Mistakes of the present. GOALS: Mistakes of the future.
60
avance
- 30 de diciembre
de
JUSTICE: The process by which one 'satisfies the Cravings of registered voters.
DETERMINATION:
an expedient
sound advice.
The speaker's firm resolve to fol
low of action, generally that of disregarding
course
' STERILE DEBATE: A con venient label for any kin d of public discussion of major issues that would effective l y reveal. the weakness of the speaker's arg nts. E ALARMING: Adjective that umedes cri bes any development that jeopardizes the speake r's chances of remaining in office after the next election. : CROSSROADS: The mess we're in nów. PROGRESS: The méss we'll be in as soon as We get out of this one. et LOYAL ADVICE: A procedure for dic tat ing pol icy after one has been voted out of office.
CREATIVE:
Adjective applied to any ide a plagiarized by
the speaker.
DEMAGOGUERY:
:
Adjective
applied
plagiarized by the oppositio n.
THE HUMBLE
to
any
¡dea
:
ONES
(los humildes): Voters who live in places loo unpleasant to visit on non-election yea rs,
RESPONSIBILITY: Duties which the speake has r not yet been able to pass on to ano ther person. . COMPLEX: Adjective that , describes any problem tha t is beyond the speaker's compre hension,
MIDDLE CLASS: Yesterday's
humble ones, also known as “the. fat of the land”. The middle class is mad e up of dissatisfied citizens or ung rateful bums, depending on the speaker's po
intof view. ro DEDICATION: An Obsessive desire to boss people around. PATRIOTIC: DUTY: Politi cal equivalent of the cap e used by the bullfighter to conceal the sword, . REALITY: g0es
The convenient por PARTICIPATION: A way to tion of the truth. spread the *blame for what wrong, .
/Ha Sr
.r
1974
pe
ipato ad al
A
A
EPS
E
e
5
LA PELA
AA
a
Les REI
AA End
y
y
epale
mato 5
%
PU
ETE
