I can’t compete with my
PARTY ANIMAL MUM WORDS: EIMEAR O’HAGAN ©THE SUN/NEWS LICENSING. PHOTO: LANCTON/FABULOUS/NEWS LICENSING
One mother-daughter duo explain why their roles are reversed when it comes to going out and having a good time
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THE DAUGHTER ‘SHE CAN DRINK MOST PEOPLE UNDER THE TABLE’ Eileen Roell, 31, manages a doggrooming salon and lives in London. Lying in bed the other night, I was falling asleep when a familiar noise woke me. Downstairs, I could hear my housemate Sue tottering around in her heels, the clink of a glass as she poured some wine, then music blaring from the living room. Sighing with exasperation, I shouted, ‘Keep the noise down, some of us are trying to sleep!’ Sue is my 60-year-old mother. She’s a party animal and shows no signs of calming down. She can drink most people under the table, owns the dance floor at a party and never knows when to call it a night. By contrast, I’m the sensible one. My parents separated when I was a toddler, but remained friends. I had a happy childhood, but Mum was definitely more bohemian than the other mothers at the school gates. She’s always loved to have a good time. When I was a
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teenager, it would be me telling her to turn the music down, and four years ago she broke her leg at Christmas, because of some over-enthusiastic dancing at a festive party. I’d cringe when I started bringing boyfriends home and they’d comment on how ‘hot’ Mum was, while my friends sometimes seemed more interested in hanging out with her than me, because she was ‘so much fun’. We clashed more when I was a teenager. I never felt I could measure up to her big personality. It’s not unusual for teens to rebel against their parents, and for me that meant becoming very sensible. When friends started experimenting with alcohol and getting drunk, I tried it but hated the taste and just didn’t feel the need. I moved out aged 18 to go and work as an au pair in New York, and when I returned to London I rented a flat of my own.
Then, five years ago, I moved back in with Mum as it made financial sense for us to share. While she does exasperate me at times, now I’m older I’m able to appreciate her fun side. I do feel overshadowed at times. I’m not a boring person and when I’m with my own friends I can be bubbly and loud, too, but with Mum I’m quieter and let her take the limelight. The secret to our relationship is that we accept who we both are. I might nag her about the fact she smokes when she drinks, and I text her at 2am telling her it’s time to come home, but I don’t try to curtail her social life. It’s her life and she should live it as she wants. And vice versa, she would never pressure me to stay out late when she wants a big night. When I was younger, I might have wished she was more like other mums – sensible and a bit dull. Now I wouldn’t change her for the world.
