R F L L A F When Sheridon , Newcastle, opened up to her meahnim she never imagined it would b she ended up running from…
THE
G I BREAD WORDS BY HATTIE BISHOP AND LAEA MARSHALL PHOTOS: SWNS
T
entatively popping the wine cork, I was grateful when my boyfriend, Samuel Ford, 24, took over the pouring duties for me. ‘I’ve always been a bit clumsy and you’ve got white carpets!’ I explained with a laugh. Samuel smiled and leaned in to give me a kiss. ‘You’re too beautiful to be clumsy,’ he told me, sitting back down on the sofa and handing me a large glass of red wine. ‘Right, where were we?’ I asked, leaning back and settling into my story. I’d been confiding in him about my struggles with anxiety and depression, and although we’d been talking all night, there was still so much more to say. I’d never felt able to talk to anyone so honestly before, but I loved how open and sensitive he was to my needs and I really felt that he was listening. It was what had really attracted me to Samuel after
6
approve of. It would make him moody and aggressive. ‘You’re not wearing that, go and change,’ he’d nstruct me if he didn’t like my outfit choice. At first, I ried to fight my corner, but I quickly realised that t was better o just do as he said. He had a violent emper, too, and more often than not, it just wasn’t worth he hassle Samuel had of arguing seemed so kind with him. ‘You never wear makeup anymore, we’d met in a club in Newcastle trying a more natural look, are in August 2017. ‘He’s just seems so kind and I you?’ my friends would joke. ‘Yeah, just trying something quite like that he’s a bit shy,’ I’d new, girls,’ I’d laugh back. told my best mate, Steve, 26, I was desperate to the next day. tell them what was Things moved fast between going on with us, and before long, Samuel Samuel, but I was was declaring his undying love too scared. for me. He’d kill me if I We’d spend all our time ever said anything, I together, either at my flat, or at thought to myself his house. whenever I felt At first, I really liked how tempted to blurt it caring he was, and felt secure out to anyone. with him. After a month or two, But it wasn’t long before I though, I realised that I noticed that Samuel could be couldn’t carry on anymore. quite controlling. I was becoming increasingly He was also using cocaine on isolated from my family and occasion, which I didn’t
friends – and my anxiety and depression were being exacerbated by being around someone so volatile. ‘I really don’t think this is working,’ I said to Samuel one evening that October, after plucking up the courage to be honest with him. I started packing up my things, but he ripped the bag out of my hands, went over to double lock the door, and then started watching TV again. ‘You’re not going anywhere without me,’ he said without even looking up. Not knowing what to do, I tried to just get on with it and see if maybe he’d change, but things just got worse. In October 2018, I tried to talk to him again about breaking up. ‘I told you not to speak about this, you don’t get to decide these things,’ he raged, his face turning red from shouting. I tried to leave, but he caught up with me, grabbing and twisting my arm right back. ‘Owww,’ I cried out in sheer agony, as my arm painfully contorted. It felt like he had broken it, but I couldn’t be sure. Before I had time to think, Samuel had pushed me violently to the floor. ‘Call an ambulance, I think my arm is broken,’ I begged him. ‘No, you’re fine, stop moaning,’ he replied coldly. I lay there sobbing as he went to the bathroom for a shower, acting as if nothing had happened. Suddenly, seeing my chance to escape, I rushed over to the bedroom balcony. It was two floors up, but it
I knew he’d broken my arm
