Costa LInk Magazine March 2012 by Costalink Magazine

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COSTA LINK

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March 2012 No 60

Covering the Costa del Sol

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www.costalinkmagazine.com

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We are Five years old this month, so thanks to all our readers and our clients for sticking with us over the last five years and continuing to make us THE most popular A5 on the Costa Del Sol. Other than our own celebrations, there is loads happening this month, St David’s day on the 1st and St Patrick’s day on the 17th, so we are bound to see a few drunken Welsh or Irish people staggering about! And don’t forget Mum – its Mother’s day on the 18th Now that the clocks are going forward on the 25th, it seems that summer is on its way, we have to thankful for such a mild winter. Also this month, after the success with the Retro competitions that we have run for the last two months, I am please to be able to offer a 60€ voucher for Spltzhair.com the details are all on page 73 and the good thing is that the voucher will cover any of their services and can be used again if you wanted to take advantage of one of the cheaper services, so it could be used for a full colour or even five visits for a gentleman’s cut and blow dry! Enjoy!

Happy Birthday Us!

ink! L a st o C he t es v o L e on ry Eve What’s On

Guide

Bar & Resta ura nt

Guide

Puzzles

TH E JOK ES PA GE

Kids STUFF

Contact Us Call: 663 061 669 Email:sales@costalinkmagazine.com Website: www.costalinkmagazine.com Skype: costalink.magazine Tweet: @costa_link Deposito Legal: MA-228-2007 Deadline Date: 18th of each month

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A W o m a n’ s W o r l d A women’s random thoughts..... • If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it will always be yours. If it doesn’t come back, it was never yours to begin with. But, if it sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats you out of house and home, uses your telephone, takes your money, and doesn’t appear to realize that you set it free….. Then you either married it or gave birth to it! • It’s amazing! You hang up something in your wardrobe you go back to it and it seems to have shrunk by two sizes?!?!

Meaning of Wife: Husband asks: “Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means: ‘Without Information Fighting Everyday’!” Wife replies: 'No, it means 'With Idiot For Ever'!!!'

WOMEN’S GUIDE

to love & lasting relationships 1. Find a Man Who Makes You Laugh. 2. Find a Man Who Has A Good Job & Can Cook. 3. Find A Man Who Is Honest. 4. Find A Man Who Will Pamper You With Gifts. 5. Find A Man Who Is Unbelievably Good In Bed. 6. MOST OF ALL. It Is VERY IMPORTANT That These Five Men NEVER Meet!

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BABY NEWS.....

HOT GOSS!

Spring has sprung and it’s seems the cold winter nights have brought something of a baby boom in celeb world… Sienna Millers sister let the cat out of the bag over her suspicious bump last month now lucky Gary Barlow is going to be a father again for the fourth time. Gary and his wife Dawn already have three children, Daniel, Emily and Daisy but they’ve decided to add another sprog to the brood. Gary said to The Sun: "It's brilliant, we couldn't be happier with the news. We're all just really excited about the new arrival."A source also told the newspaper: "Gary is constantly beaming from ear to ear. The news couldn't have come at a better time because he's a real family man and now he can be around more."Last year was such a whirlwind with the Take That tour and then the X Factor. Now he can kick back and fully appreciate all that's going on."We don't want to put any pressure on Gary and Dawn, but if they had one more child they could have their own Take That tribute band. Jordan tweets suspicious pic! Oh Jordan, you know how to set tongues wagging, don't you! If this picture doesn't set rumours flying all over the show, we don't know what will... Miss Price uploaded a photo on twitter with a suspicious looking swollen belly. The model, thought to be reconciled with on/off lover Leandro Penna, claims the bloated stomach is a result of a night of binging on junk food. The picture shows her surrounded by chocolate and biscuit wrappers. Sounds like most week nights for us... We will have to see what news we hear from the Pricey camp in the following month’s but I’ve never known a Hob-Nob to do this?!

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HOT GOSS!

MOVIE NEWS.....

What is it with all the 3D re-releases going on at the cinema at the moment? First we hear that the Star Wars trilogy is coming back AGAIN??? What’s next JAWS 3D in 3D?....Although we can’t wait to see Titanic revamped and in full 3D glory when it arrives at cinemas in April. We’re excited, but Kate Winslet’s reaction to seeing footage from the film was less excitement and more toe-curling embarrassment! The 36-year-old actress has admitted that she didn’t exactly enjoy seeing 17 minutes of 3D preview footage of herself in the blockbuster movie, revealing to USA Today that she wanted it to “make it f***ing stop”, “I was literally like, ‘Oh my God, make it stop! Is that me? Oh my God, that's me. Block my ears, somebody! “I'm sure I wasn't really a very good actress,” she continues. “Seriously, we are talking about something that happened 15 years ago. It is a very long time ago, I've learned so much, and I've changed as a person so much since then. It is really quite weird. Can you imagine anything stranger? It's going to be like famous all over again, Titanic all over again!” While Kate cringed at seeing at seeing her 21-year-old self as Rose, she is excited to sit down and watch the film with her two children Mia, 11, and eight-year-old Joe. “A whole new generation is going to get to experience the film. It's very exciting that I can actually sit with [my children] - together - and we can all watch it in a movie theatre. That is going to be quite amazing, actually.” Are you looking forward to seeing Titanic back in on the big screen?

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1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas. 2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use WD-40; if it moves and shouldn't, use the tape. 3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship "I apologise" and "You are right." 4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. 5. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. 6. The only really good advice that your mother ever gave you was, "Go! You might meet somebody!" 7. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her, believe them. 8. Learn to pick your battles: Ask yourself, "Will this matter one year from now?" How about one month? One week? One day?" 9. Never pass up an opportunity to pee. 10. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance! 11. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you. 12. Work is good, but it's not that important. 13. Be really nice to your family and friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan. 14. Don't be an idiot. 15. Never trust women who can't put their lipstick on straight. They are invariably crazy. 16. Know your way home. 17. Don't talk to yourself. 18. Bathâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s make good beds - if you like waking up sore all over the next day. 19. If you like the music, dance. Continued on page 20 20. You'll feel better if you throw up.

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1) What is the capital of the Ukraine? 2) What is the full name of the illness commonly referred to as flu? 3) Which TV chef also plays the drums in a band? 4) Which cocktail consists of Tia Maria, Vodka and Coke? 5) Which British Queen is buried under platform 8 at King’s Cross Station? 6) The Clifton Suspension Bridge spans which river? 7) How high, in feet, is the crossbar on a football goal? 8) What is the UK’s most dialled telephone number? 9) Which Beatle received a star on the Hollywood walk of fame last month? 10) What was the name of the controversial Refugee camp near Calais? 11) Who took over the role of Q in the James Bond films following the death of Desmond Llewellyn? 12) Which book records debates in Parliament? 13) Who plays the role of Harry Potter? 14) What name is given to the medical condition when you suffer from a dangerous loss of body heat?

15) What colour flag would a motor racing driver receive if he were disqualified? 16) ‘The mole had been working very hard all morning’ is the first line of which famous book? 17) What name did Dickens give the character Jack Dawkins? 18) Which country won last years 2011 Eurovision Song Contest? 19) What two words appear on the Victoria Cross? 20) What is the highest mountain in Africa? 21) Who killed MacBeth? 22) Which soul singer had a hit with ‘You’re My First, My Last, My Everything’? 23) For which newspaper did Superman work? 24) In which state is the Grand Canyon? 25) What was the name of the first cloned sheep? 26) Of which Asian country was Benazir Bhutto a former Prime Minister? 27) Which of the Bronte sisters wrote Wuthering Heights? 28) On which river do Halifax and Wakefield stand? 29) Where is the next Olympic games to be held? 30) Which members of the Royal Family have just got a black cocker spaniel puppy?

TRIVIA QUIZ

Answers on page 88

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STUPID DEATHS!

10 Incredibly Bizarre Death Statistics

We all know about the major statistics - thousands of people die from things like cancer, accidents, or other illnesses every day. But did you know that enough people die from falling out of bed or getting a snack out of a vending machine that these things qualify as death statistics? Texting while driving kills 6,000 annually in the U.S. alone: A study by the Virginia Tech Transportation Institute (VTTI) reports that a driver's risk of collision is 23 times greater when they are texting. Hippos kill 2,900 people annually in Africa: Many experts believe that the Hippopotamus is the most dangerous animal in all of Africa. Weighing up to 8,000 pounds, a Hippo can gallop 18 mph and have been known to upset boats for no reason and bite the passengers with their huge, sharp teeth. Not only that, but Hippos are aggressive, unpredictable and have no fear of humans. People die most often when they get between a hippo and deep water or between a mother and her calf. Autoerotic Asphyxiation Kills 600 people annually: Autoerotic asphyxiation is the act of strangling or suffocating yourself to heighten sexual arousal and orgasm. Depriving the brain of oxygen gives a person a dizzy, high feeling, however it's all too easy to make a mistake and accidentally kill yourself while practicing this dangerous sex act. Just ask the 600 people per year who die while pleasuring themselves. Oh wait, you can't ask them... because they're dead. Con’t on page 22....

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21. No matter how certain you might be of any given situation, there is invariably another creature who will teach you the meaning of certainty. 22. Never try to take apart a computer with a monkey wrench. 23. Learn to say "Where is the nude beach?" in at least three languages. 24. Do not use your work laptop while eating Coco Pops. 25. Children do not want clothes for birthday gifts. 26. Running into your wife's gynaecologist at Starbucks is awkward. Somewhat surprisingly, you won't have much to talk about. 27. He who makes a beast of himself takes away the pain of being a man. 28. If you talk to yourself (see 17), don't answer in a different voice; it tends to seriously scare those around you. 29. Don't hit your own head. 30. Even though it doesn't appear it to us, everyone considers themself an above average driver. 31. donÂŁt trtry to type stufff whebn yu are reallly"yy drunk.... 32. One good turn gets most of the blankets. 33. One day you can get screwed out of what is rightfully yours, the next day you may become world renowned and respected just for being yourself (See Ozzy Osbourne). 34. Carrot sticks and blue cheese vegetable dip lead to multiple instances of explosive diarrhea. 35. He who hesitates is lost. 36. Schizophrenia means never having to be alone. 37. Everybody needs a good ass kicking now and again. Continued on page 38 38. Fart jokes never stop being funny.

Conâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t

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STUPID DEATHS!

10 Incredibly Bizarre Death Statistics Continued

Falling out of bed kills 450 people annually in the U.S: According to the Center for Disease Control, falling out of bed accounts for 1.8 million ER visits and over 400 thousand hospital admissions each year. The very young and the very old are most at risk, and with decreased stability as we age, people over the age of 65 tend to fare the worst when falling. Icicles kill 100 people per year in Russia: Each year dozens are killed when sharp icicles fall from snowy rooftops and land on hapless victims on the pavements below. Jellyfish kill 20-40 people per year in the Philippines alone: While most jellyfish are not deadly, some varieties can cause anaphylaxis, which can be fatal. Dogs are the source of 99% of human rabies, which causes 55,000 deaths worldwide annual: Rabies occurs in more than 150 countries and territories. 40% of people who are bitten by suspect rabid animals are children under 15 years of age. Wound cleansing and immunization within a few hours after contact with a suspect rabid animal can prevent the onset of rabies and death. Every year, more than 15 million people worldwide receive a post-exposure preventive regimen to avert the disease â&#x20AC;&#x201C; this is estimated to prevent 327,000 rabies deaths annually. Ants kill 30 people per year: There are over 280 different species of ants that can kill, and the fire ant and Siafu ants of Africa are among the most deadly. Since they live in colonies up to 20 million strong, once an attack begins ants can easily overpower their prey. Most reports of deaths are due to people falling asleep near an ant hill and succumbing to anaphylactic shock from countless ant bites and venom. Vending machines kill 13 people per year: Each year vending machines topple over and crush about 10-13 people. Death by snacking! Roller Coasters kill 4 people per year: Overall, the risk of injury while riding a roller coaster is very low. In the U.S. people take about 900 million rides per year, and only about 1 in 124,000 result in an injury. However, studies show that between the years 1994-2004 there were 40 deaths from roller coasters total, and currently the annual death rate is about 4 per year in the U.S.A.

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Things that make you feel like a man.... 1: OPENING JARS - nnng, she's struggling. You take it from her hands, open it effortlessly and pretend she loosened it for you. She didn't. Jars are men's work.

A Manâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s World

2: CALLING SOMEONE 'SON' - Especially policeman but even saying it to kids makes you the man. 3: DOING A PROPER SLIDE TACKLE - Beckham free kicks? Gay. A Stuart Pearce tackle is the pinnacle of the game, simultaneously winning the ball and crippling the man. Magic.

4: SHARPENING A PENCIL WITH A STANLEY KNIFE - Blunt, is it? Hand it here love. No, I don't need a sharpener, you think I can't whittle. 5: GOING TO THE TIP - A manly act which combines driving, lifting and - as you thrillingly drop your rubbish into another huge pile of other rubbish - noisy destruction. 6: DRINKING UP - Specifically, rising from the table, slinging your coat on and downing two thirds of a pint in one fluid movement. Then nodding towards the door, saying, "Let's go" and striding out while everyone else struggles to catch up with you. God, you're hard. 7: HAVING A THIN BIT OF WOOD - in the shed, solely to stir paint with. 8: HAVING A SCAR - Ideally it'll be a facial knife wound, but even an iron burn on the wrist is good. "Ooh, did it hurt". "Nah". 9: HAVING A HANGOVER AND THICK STUBBLE - When birds have been partying they just whinge. You, on the other hand have physical evidence of your hardness, sprouting from your face. "Big night?" Grr, what does it look like. 10: WINKING - turns women to putty. Doesn't it?

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Shopping or sex... Long winded, but worth the read This was written by a man... it's very clever.

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realising that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping in El Corte Ingles in Puerto Banus. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. Conâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t on page 36

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Identification for dogs and cats... Micro chipping is essential for your dog & cat to help keep them safe first & foremost. In most European Countries it is now a legal requirement. A microchip will only work well however as long as you keep your pets information up to date including correct telephone numbers & addresses. Remember if you move with your pet you must update the information on their microchip & if you move to another country you must re-register the chip in the country of residence. If your pets have a UK ID chip you can possibly do this yourself on-line visit www.petlog.org.uk or www.pettrac.co.uk A pet tag is a far quicker means of identification than a microchip. You, the owner, can be contacted immediately avoiding a stressful search for your beloved pet or the potential waiting that comes with microchip identification. It is also easier for the person who has found the pet to contact the first available number on an identification tag. Many animals end up at animal shelters because they simply have no means of identification, this can be traumatic for both the pet & owner, so why not increase the chance of being re-united with your pet by ordering an ID tag as well. In most European Countries now it is not only law that a dog should have a microchip but also display an ID tag with the owners address / location details on it. Keep your pets safe & order an ID Tag with us; pop into our shop or order on-line

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C COSTA D L S TA EL CO OS ST TA TA A DEL DE EL E L SOL SO OL OL L TTreatment reatment ffor or w eight lloss oss weight ;;ŐĂƐƚƌŝĐ ďĂŶĚ ŚǇƉŶŽƐŝƐͿ͕ ŐĂƐƚƌŝĐ ďĂŶĚ ŚǇƉŶŽƐŝƐͿ͕ Ă ĚĚŝĐƟŽŶƐ͕ ĂŶǆŝĞƚǇ͕ ƉŚŽďŝĂƐ͕ ƐƚƌĞƐƐ͕ ĂĚĚŝĐƟŽŶƐ͕ ĂŶǆŝĞƚǇ͕ ƉŚŽďŝĂƐ͕ ƐƚƌĞƐƐ͕ ƐƐĞǆƵĂů ƉƌŽďůĞŵƐ͕ ƌĞůĂƟŽŶƐŚŝƉƐ͕ ĞǆƵĂů ƉƌŽďůĞŵƐ͕ ƌĞůĂƟŽŶƐŚŝƉƐ͕ ď ĞĚͲǁĞƫŶŐ ŝŶ ĐŚŝůĚƌĞŶ͕ ďĞĚͲǁĞƫŶŐ ŝŶ ĐŚŝůĚƌĞŶ͕ Ɖ ŽƐƚͲŶĂƚĂů ĚĞƉƌĞƐƐŝŽŶ ƉŽƐƚͲŶĂƚĂů ĚĞƉƌĞƐƐŝŽŶ Ă ŶĚ ŵĂŶǇ ŵŽƌĞ͘͘͘ ĂŶĚ ŵĂŶǇ ŵŽƌĞ͘͘͘ BOOK Y OUR FREE YOUR APPOINTMENT TTODAY ODAY

Contact Contact me today today for for details: details: Neil Paterson Paterson BA. BA. Dhp. Hypno-Band Weight Loss System TTel: el: 952 199 298 info@hypnotherapycostadelsol.com in fo@hypnotherapycostadelsol.com www.hypnotherapycostadelsol.com www.hypnother ypnotherap apycostadelsol.com Licensed Practitioner

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To advertise in the most popular A5 magazine on the Costa del Sol with rates starting at 25€ call: 663 061 669 email: sales@costalinkmagazine.com

March 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 2/21/12 6:29 PM Page 34

Medical Tips

Shoes are they damaging your feet? Recent studies on ladies who wear high heels frequently (5cm or more) show that they could be shortening and damaging their calf muscle fibers. Ultrasound scans revealed that muscle fibers were approximately 13% shorter than in women who did not wear heels. The consequence of wearing high heels is that the weight is carried too far forward and creates pressure on the forefeet. Unfortunately today, shoes are worn by many in the name of culture, fashion, image, fame and prestige. It is good fun to get dressed up to enjoy a night out but to wear as normal day shoes can cause irreparable damage. Shoes should be wide on the base for ease of walking and working. If the toes are squashed and not allowed to spread it will cause problems with maximum balance which, if disturbed can cause many issues. Some time spent in flatter footwear as well as stretching exercises would help to combat the effect. The advice of experts is not to wear high heels and flat shoes all the time but to wear a variety of heel heights. When you go out to buy your next pair of shoes consider the following: before trying to squeeze your foot into a new shoe hold the sole of the left shoe against the sole of your right foot (or vice versa) and judge for yourself if the new shoe surface would take the shape of your whole foot. It is a myth that shoes will hurt until you “ break them in” sorry , you are not” breaking in” a shoe, if a shoe hurts it is the shoe that is , slowly but surely breaking your foot in the form of bunions, hammer toes and poor stability. As soon as you start wearing shoes that have been chosen sensibly remembering all the points that have been discussed, should in time improve your feet this in turn will help improve posture and enable more activity. If you carry on with ill fitting shoes then the damage already done will become worse. Janet Van Craeyenest is a Preferred Partner of “medilink” and is a qualified chiropodist based in Estepona. For more information on Janet or any of our other Preferred Partners call “medilink” on 952 93 38 76

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Are you fed up with trying to locate good, reliable and accurate information, unsure who to turn to when it comes to health and health related issues here on the Costa del Sol...

…solving the puzzle of healthcar e in healthcare Spain! Tel: T el: (0034) 952 93 38 76 Email: medilinkspain@gmail.com only you'll ever medilink the onl y tel no y ou'll e ver need

SANITAS HEALTH PLAN Whether you require a worldwide policy, or healthcare for Spain only, Sanitas have the solution

The Xanit is now covered by Sanitas The Hospiten Estepona is now covered by Sanitas Health Plans to Suit all Budgets

Contact your English Agent, Susan Warner T: 951 272 124 M: 615 655 348 www.healthinsurance-spain.com info@healthinsurance-spain.com

March 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 2/21/12 6:30 PM Page 36

Shopping or sex... Continued... She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit." We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis outfit when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think it threw her when I said, "That's fine, darling." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No darling, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?" I then said, "Darling! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.... but at least she knows I'm smarter than her.

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39. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 40. Have your own sense of style. 41. It's not so bad because it could always be worse. 42. It's a small world after all. 43. Midgets are people too. 44. No great music was ever made on a recorder. 45. Everything that can possibly happen, will happen. 46. Cry once in a while, it's cathartic. If you need to hide from others to do so, then do, but still cry. 47. Follow it up with a beer/phone call with a friend who laughs a lot. 48. Eat cheese, it is marvellous tasting and, purportedly, scrubs your teeth. 49. When you see a little child in the supermarket, make a fart noise with your mouth. They laugh every time. 50. Beggars CAN be choosers. 51. Monkeys cheat at monopoly. 52. If someone tells you, "You're dreaming, pal!" kick them in the shin. It's okay, because after all, it's a dream. 53. Never rub another man's rhubarb! 54. There's more than one way to skin a cat. There are more than two ways to serve it. 55. Cheesy fantasy movies have at least one Queen track in them. 56. Always check to see if there is anyone else in a public bathroom when you enter. 57. If someone else enters, cough to let them know you are there. If not, you may have to listen to something you didn't intend. 58. Know someone who gives good foot massages. 59. Even when you know there is nobody there, dark, long hallways are creepy. 60. You can never teach an old dog new tricks, unless you have a peanut butter filled Kong.

Conâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t

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BAR & RESTAURANT

Guide.....

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RESTAURANTReview... India Lucia, Torrenueva Tel 951 40 76 95 When our friends suggested going to the new Indian Restaurant in Torrenueva, between La Cala and Riviera, I must admit we were slightly reluctant! We had been there before when it was under different ownership and had a different name and although the food was good, it was very expensive! But we were assured that the new owners had a policy of offering good quality food at reasonable prices, so we went along. When we arrived, we made to feel so welcome, our party of four were met by two waiters who introduced themselves and showed us to our table, the newly decorated restaurant had a lovely comfortable feel and the décor was lovely. We all decided to have something a little different to the madrases and tikka massalas that we usually have and chose, a chicken and ginger dish with so much flavour, a lamb Kadahi which was lovely, a chicken and chilli dish called a Khyber special, and a fantastic dish called a Mix Handi which came with lamb, chicken and king prawns, we also went with the normal bhargees, sag aloo and rice and nam breads that we all know and love! It has to be said the food was exceptional, so nice to have such a variation of Indian food and really good quality and flavour, and the best thing of all was the price it came to less than 100€ for four people including a couple of bottles of wine and a good few beers!!! This new restaurant is a must for any curry lover……….

Don & Gina, Riviera

HONG KONG

CHINESE RESTAURANT

SPECIAL LUNCHTIME MENU 12PM - 4PM STARTERS ONLY €6.90

Spring Roll, Special Salad, Chicken and Sweetcorn/Tomato/Hot and Sour Soup or Spare Ribs.

MAIN COURSE

Beef with Blackbean/Oyster/Chinese Mushroom and Bamboo/Curry or Chicken with Cashew Nuts/Sweet and Sour/Curry or Prawns with Vegetables or Sweet and Sour Fish (Hake)

RICE AND NOODLES

Special House Fried Rice, Boiled Rice or Noodles with Soya Bean Sprouts or Chips

DESSERTS

Coffee, Tea, Ice Cream, Cream Caramel or Fruit Main restaurant serving usual delicacies 6pm - 12pm

Jardin Botanico, Local 16, La Cala de Mijas. 44

Tel: 952 599 236. Mob: 685 578 743

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INDIA LUCIA Indian Cuisine in Andalucia

Frozen Cocktail Lychee & Mint Get the weekend off to a flying start with these quick cocktails

Ingredients:

400g can lychees A small bunch of mint leaves 100ml vodka (or use lychee juice for a non-alcoholic version)

Juice 2 limes 2 handfuls ice

Good Quality, Quality, Great VValue alue Calle Jerez Urb. Torrenue Torrenueva T orrenueva

Tel: T el: 951 40 76 95 Mama Nostra

Method Take a can of lychees and drain the syrup into a blender. Add 4 of the lychees, a small bunch of mint leaves (reserving a few to garnish), the vodka and lime juice. Add ice and blend until slushy. Serve in glasses garnished with a mint sprig and a lychee.

Per Serving Traditional Italian food & grill. Fresh pasta, wood burning pizza oven, Open every day 12 - 11. Riviera Commercial, Tel: 952 934 496

98 kcalories, protein 0g, carbohydrate 11g, fat 0 g, saturated fat 0g, fibre 0g, sugar 11g, salt 0 g

Golden Sun

Harrys Sports Bar

Traditional Chinese Food. Takeaway menu. Special lunch menu only â&#x201A;Ź6.95. Open 12.00-16.00 and 18.30-24.00 everyday. Riviera Commercial. Tel: 952 931 737

All live sports and premiere league football. Six TVâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s and big screen. Full menu, Sunday roast and homemade tapas. Large sun terrace. Open 10amlate, seven days a week. Upstairs Los Jarales, Calahonda

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Spanish Chicken Pie... Serves 4

Preparation 10 mins Cook time 30 mins

Ingredients:

1kg potatoes , chopped 3 tsp paprika (use smoked paprika if you have it) 2 tsp olive oil 2 onions , sliced 2 garlic cloves , crushed 2 x 400g cans chopped tomatoes 300g cooked chicken , shredded 140g roasted peppers from a jar, sliced (we like Karyatis) Handful of olives, halved

Method:

1) Heat oven to 200C/fan 180C/gas 6. Boil the potatoes for 15-20 mins until tender. Drain, return to the pan, then mash with some seasoning and 2 tsp of the paprika. 2) Meanwhile, heat the oil in a large pan, then fry the onions and garlic for a few mins until softened. Stir in the remaining paprika for 1 min, add the tomatoes , then, bring to a simmer. Tip into a large ovenproof dish, then stir in the chicken, peppers, olives and some seasoning. 3) Spoon over the mash, then bake for 15 mins until the mash is golden on top and the sauce is bubbling.

Y TR

Make it with tuna Make the mash as before. Heat the tomatoes and paprika with the onion and garlic, then stir in 2 x 200g cans yellowfin tuna in spring water, drained, a 198g can sweetcorn, drained, 100g frozen peas and the pepper. Top with mash in an ovenproof dish, then cook as before.

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Click“ok”,“ok?”

The following conversation you may find hilarious if you have ever tried talking an aged parent/relative or some may say dinosaur, through using a PC… Tech Support: “All right. Now click ‘OK’.” Customer: “Click ‘OK’?” Tech Support: “Yes, click ‘OK’.” Customer: “Click ‘OK’?” Tech Support: “That’s right. Click ‘OK’.” Customer: “So I click ‘OK’, right?” Tech Support: “Right. Click ‘OK’.” Pause. Customer: “I clicked ‘Cancel’.” Tech Support: “YOU CLICKED ‘CANCEL’???” Customer: “That’s what I was supposed to do?” Tech Support: “No, you were supposed to click ‘OK’.” Customer: “I thought you said to click ‘Cancel’.” Tech Support: “NO. I said to click ‘OK’.” Customer: “Oh.” Tech Support: “Now we have to start again.” Customer: “Why?”

Tech Support: “Because you clicked ‘Cancel’.” Customer: “Wasn’t I supposed to click ‘Cancel’?” Tech Support: “No. Forget that. Let’s start from the top.” Customer: “Ok.” I spent the next fifteen minutes re-constructing the carefully crafted setup for this lady’s unique computer. Tech Support: “All right. Now, are you ready to click ‘OK’?” Customer: “Yes.” Tech Support: “Great. Now click ‘OK’.” Pause. Customer: “I clicked ‘Cancel’.” And people wonder why my mouse pad has a target on it labeled “BANG HEAD HERE.”

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HOW TO BE A GOOD WIFE... This is an extract from Good Housekeeping in May 1955, it’s would be a brave man today who took this home with expectations:

• Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite one) is part of the warm welcome needed. • Prepare yourself. Take about 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh touting. He has just been with a lot of work weary people. • Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it. • Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc and then run a dust cloth over the tables. • Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with an intense personal satisfaction. • Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces. If they are small comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing part. Continued on page 70...

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Ways to relax & de-stress....

Health&

Laugh a little: By now you've heard that laughter is a good internal medicine. It relieves tension and loosens the muscles. It causes blood to flow to the heart and brain. More importantly, laughter releases a chemical that rids the body Well Being of pains. Every day, researchers discover new benefits of laughter. Let me ask you this question: "Can you use a good dose of belly-shaking laughter every now and then?" Of course you can. What you are waiting for? Go to a comedy club or read the Costa Link. Make stress your friend: Acknowledge that stress is good and make stress your friend! Based on the body's natural "fight or flight" response that burst of energy will enhance your performance at the right moment. I've yet to see a top sportsman totally relaxed before a big competition. Use stress wisely to push yourself that little bit harder when it counts most. Use heavy breathing: You can encourage your body into relaxing by using heavy breathing. Breathe in slowly for a count of 7 then breathe out for a count of 11. Repeat the 7-11 breathing until your heart rate slows down, your sweaty palms dry off and things start to feel more normal. Know your stress hot spots and trigger points: Presentations, interviews, meetings, giving difficult feedback, tight deadlines, money, relationships. My heart rate is cranking up just writing these down! Make your own list of stress trigger points or hot spots. Be specific. Is it only presentations to a certain audience that get you worked up? Does one project cause more stress than another? Did you drink too much coffee? (This is one of my biggest challenges - reduce the coffee intake).Knowing what causes your stress is powerful information, as you can take action to make it less stressful. Do you need to learn some new skills? Do you need extra resources? Do you need to switch to de-caffeinated coffee? We hope these pointers have helped you relax and de-stress a little.....

March 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 2/21/12 6:34 PM Page 59

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March 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 2/21/12 6:34 PM Page 60

ocal Info ---

Emergency Numbers

Central number for Fire, Police & Ambulance 112 National Police 091 Local Police 092 Guardia Civil 062 dica

Medical

Emergency 061 Ambulance Marbella 902 505 061 Ambulance Coin 952 453 267

Health Centres

Town Halls Marbella 952 761 100 San Pedro 952 453 020 La Cala de Mijas 952 493 208 Fuengirola 952 589 300 Estepona 952 801 100

Fire Brigade Emergency number 080 Marbella 952 774 349 Estepona 952 804 483 Fuengirola 952 461 046

Markets

Consulates 952 952 952 952 952 952 952

352 475 226 604 212 226 474

300 108 373 383 442 590 891

Tourist Information Marbella 952 771 442 Coin 952 822 818 Estepona 952 822 818 Fuengirola 952 467 457 San Pedro 952 785 252

Bus Stations Marbella 952 764 400 Coin 952 450 366 San Pedro 952 781 396 Estepona 952 800249 For a list of complete times www.andalucia.com/travel/bus Train Timetables 902 240 202 Airports Malaga 952 048 844 Gibraltar 956 773 026

Marbella 952 769 946 Coin 952 452 767 San Pedro 952 787 700

British Ireland Denmark Sweden Germany France U.S.A

Transport

Monday - Marbella (fairground site on east side) Tuesday - Fuengirola (fairground near Los Boliches) Wednesday - Estepona (Avda. Juan Carlos) La Cala - Feria ground Thursday - San Pedro (Recinto Ferial) Alhaurin el Grande - (La Fama) Friday - Alhaurin el Grande (Bar Aquamania) Saturday - Coin (Calle Urbano Pineda) La Cala - Feria ground. Sunday - Puerto Estepona

(Marina)

Cinemas

All the Cinemas listed below show films in English as well as Spanish. Call first to check what is showing that week. Marbella: Cinesur Plaza del Mar 952 766 941 La Cañada 902 333 231 Puerto Banus: Gran Marbella 952 810 077 Coin: La Trocha 951 315 039 Fuengirola Cinesur Miramar 902 221 622

Chemists 24 hour chemist Urb. Artola, Ctra. Cadiz Km 194. Marbella. Tel: 952 83 25 89

Taxis Marbella Taxis 952 774 488 Mijas Costa Taxis 952 476 593

Diary Dates March 1st: St. David's Day March 12th: Commonwealth Day March 17th: St. Patrick's Day March 18th: Mothering Sunday (Mother's Day) March 25th: Clocks go forward

if you would like to sponsor this page please call 663 061 669

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Thursday 1st - Wednesday 14th: Estepona Port Business and Internet Centre will be exhibiting a selection of works by an accomplished wildlife artist who wishes to remain anonymous. From the feral, cruel beauty of the Iberian lynx to the charming but deadly otter this artist captures the essential nature of the subject on canvas. As shy as the Scops owl, caught at an unguarded moment, this artist has never exhibited before. The works display a rare talent that has previously only been appreciated by friends and family. Thursday 1st - Saturday 31st March: The Butterfly Park in Benalmadena has a special offer running throughout March with special promotion entry fee of €5 every Tuesday and Thursday. The park usually charges €8.50 for adults or €5 for kids (or save a euro

What’s On

Guide

each if you book via the website).

Monday 27th February to Friday 2nd March: Half Term (Semana Blanca) club to be held at the Multisports Centre from 10am-2pm. Fun activities and sports for aged 4-14 years. €20 per day or €80 for the week. www.themultisportsclub.com Every Monday: 1st Coin Brownies meet 5pm-6.30pm at El Centro Nazareno in Coin. Suitable for ages 7-10 years. Great fun for the girls. To enquire about places contact www.1stcoinbrownies.info Every Tuesday: Mum & Baby Pilates class at 11am at the San Roque International Nursery, Sotogrande with stimulating toys, ball pool and much more. www.pilatesparati.es Every Wednesday: Curry Night & Karaoke at Ray’s Bar, With Allstars - Mark James, Dona Lola. Every Wednesday: Mums and Tots group in Coin will meet every Wednesday 9.30am-11.30am at Bambu Ball Park (opposite Mercadona). Play facilities for the kids and cafe for the parents. All welcome from any area and €1.50 per hour with monitors. Make friends whilst the kids play safely. Every Thursday: The Ladies that Lunch group meets every second Thursday at 10am – 12.30pm for coffee, chats and other activities and is a social group designed to get ladies of all ages together. The group meets at various venues inland and it’s best to join the group via Facebook or contact Emma on 608 408 771 Every Thursday: Pilates Stroller workout class on the Torreguadiaro Beachfront at 11am. This is a post natal workout for Mums along with their little ones in their stroller, walking exercises and Pilates pitstops. www.pilatesparati.es Every Thursday: Steak Night at Ray’s Bar, With live Music, Dona Lola, Beach Side Calahonda, opposite El Zoco Tel 634 840 364 Every Friday: Fish and Chips Night at Ray’s Bar, Dona Lola, Beach Side Calahonda, opposite El Zoco Tel 634 840 364 Every Saturday: Costa AllStars Cheerleader classes now running Coin at Aqua Gym in La Trocha. All ages in one class from 10.30am-12pm. Call Vanessa on 677 493 280 to reserve a place and info. Every Saturday: The Wildside Forest School for Kids held every Saturday. 10am-12pm for aged 4-7 years and 1-3pm for 7-10 year olds. Two hour classes for children in nature. Tree rubbings, building a camp, safety, insects etc. See www.wildsidesurvivaleurope.com for info. Every Saturday and/or Sunday: The Interactive Museum of Music in Malaga (MIMMA) holds MUSICAL LEARNING ACTIVITIES for kids every weekend. These include theatre, workshops, story telling and more. Saturday, Sunday and holidays at 12 noon. Just €3 entry which includes the activity and guided tour of the museum Every Sunday: Traditional Sunday lunch at Santiago del Calvario, Alhaurin, Roast beef, Lamb Pork, or chicken with fish and Vegetarian options available. Every Sunday: Karaoke at Ray’s Bar, With Allstars - Mark James, Dona Lola, Beach Side Calahonda, opposite El Zoco Tel 634 840 364 Every Sunday: Barbeque night at Riviera Grand Palms Cyber Cafe, from 6pm, Families welcome, loads of home cooked food from 7€, Calle Sirocco 370 Phase 7 Urb. Riveria del Sol, follow the signs from the lady in the bath, booking advised Tel 952 932 112. Every Last Sunday of the Month: The Picasso Museum has free admission on this day so a great day to visit the 3,500 plus pieces of art. Open from 10am until 8pm in the weekend and 9pm weekends. Guided tours in English on Wednesdays at 11.30am. Tel: 952 602 731. If you would like to list your events, days out or any else you have going on please contact us on: 663 061 669 or email editor@costalinkmagazine.com

Sponsored by SPAIN

WWW.ROUNDABOUTSPAIN.COM

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Strange but true... Have you ever wondered the origin of a saying? Here are a few old classic’s to “wet your whistle”… Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim or handle of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle," is the phrase inspired by this practice. In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes...when you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. That's where the phrase, "good night, sleep tight" came from. When black powder cannons were still in use the sailors used a brass box to carry the powder ashore. This box was known as a Brass Monkey as it replaced the small boy who used to retrieve the powder from below decks who was called a Powder Monkey. When ashore the Brass Monkey would be placed on the ground and the steel canon balls would be stacked in a pyramid around the monkey. When it got cold overnight the brass would contract quicker than the steel causing a warp of the stack and the balls would fall off. This is where we get the term "Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey." The noble ladies and gentlemen of the late 1700s wore much makeup to impress each other. Since they rarely bathed, the makeup would get thicker and thicker. If they sat too close to the heat of the fireplace, the makeup would start to melt. If that happened, a servant would move the screen in front of the fireplace to block the heat, so they wouldn't "lose face." Starting the saying of “SAVING FACE OR LOSING FACE”.

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March 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 2/21/12 7:21 PM Page 67

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March 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 2/21/12 7:21 PM Page 68

S TA R S I GN S

A look at what's in store for you during March.....

Capricorn

Aquarius

Pisces

Aries

Capricorn you’ll have a slightly nervy start to this month with Mercury in Retrograde between March 2nd and the 23rd. This can play havoc with your thinking and communications causing more misunderstandings and even arguments. Travel plans and business negotiations should be delayed around March 12th. For a few days around this date, be particularly careful about making any important decisions and certainly think twice before signing any documents. This is such a busy month for you; you are likely to face opposition to your goals and plans from other people. Ego conflicts are more likely it is not the time to push your luck or expect too much help from others. Although Venus, Mars and Jupiter will be in you’re sign suggesting good luck and success with love and money. The New Moon is the most important this year for you, this certainly won’t be a boring March. Aquarius the Mercury Retrograde from March 2nd to 23rd will bring you clear and logical thinking and great communication skills. Mercury will activate a very positive transit giving you great opportunities to expand your horizons. You should have excellent intuition and flashes of insight about this promising future. March 5th to 15th may get difficult with a to put some strain on your close relationships. I would be particularly mindful of other people’s feelings for a few days around March 12th. Also, be careful about making important decisions or signing contracts. March 22nd’s New Moon will bring enhanced self-confidence lasting for about four weeks. You can expect fewer obstacles to success and all your relationships should run lot smoother. It will be a really special New Moon for you. Expect some nice surprises on the way! Pisces the Venus transit from March 5th to the 15th makes you feel more affectionate and loving, you can expect more admiration and attention from others. It will also improve your finance’s up until March 15th you also have the lucky Jupiter in transit. Lady luck will be on your side with both money and love. This is an excellent time to take full advantage of any opportunities, investing should turn out well, and any new relationships made now should be very loving. Things get a little tougher from March 13th Mars is moving through your sign, causing you some frustration and anger right this will last until mid May. The retrograde motion means that the buildup of anger or resentment you feel is likely to be internalized, so it will be important to work this energy out of your system through physical activity or focusing on some work or hobby which you are really passionate about. Aries you will be enjoying Venus in your sign up till March the 5th. This transit, which started on February 26th, brings more love and harmony into your life. Time to socialise, give and receive love and affection, don’t waste any opportunities because you will be looking and feeling more attractive. It’s will also bring a great creative influence to you visit art gallery’s, dance and listen to music. Finances should be good at this time spending money on yourself will be money well spent. Even investing in partying won’t be such a waste at this time. Venus can bring opportunities with love and money. The new Moon will bring a week of emotional balance and smoother relationships. Less obstacles and less stress will make both personal and professional progress easier. The feeling of confidence and general well being should let you make the most of any opportunities that come your way.

Taurus

Taurus you are going to experience a return of the strong and sexy Mars from March 22nd right through to May 19th. You will feel this as increased energy, self-confidence and sexual desire. You can get what you most desire, as you will be giving off such positive energy that people will be drawn to you. Relationships will also benefit greatly from your directness and initiative, this is an ideal time for making new friends or finding a new love. This is especially so from March 15th to 24th with Venus passing through your sign. Now you’ll have the combined influence of confident and attractive Mars with loving and sensual Venus. Romance is definitely favored in this week which should win you some bonus points from your partner, or bring a much increased chance of scoring if you are single. An excellent time for enjoying yourself not to be wasted!

Gemini

Gemini you’ll still have calming Venus in transit until March 5th this should give warmer relationships and a feeling of peace. Love is in the air and you should be feeling very affectionate. Make the most of this relaxing influence because you have to face up to a challenge from Mercury Retrograde later this month. Between March 23rd to April 16th. This will very likely cause nervous irritability, an overly active mind or imagination and rushed thinking. There is a greater chance of miss communication, saying or hearing the wrong things. Not the best time for making important decisions as you won’t have all the details. I would be extremely careful about signing documents or agreeing to any major deal at this time. You may have to contend with machinery or appliances breaking down, and deal with annoying news or irritating people, nagging comes to mind.

March 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 2/21/12 7:21 PM Page 69

Cancer

Leo

Virgo

Libra

Scorpio

Sagittarius

Cancer you’ll have a mixed bag this month. There are some challenges from Mercury and the New Moon indicating some tension, but also excellent transits from Venus and Mars which are most favorable for the love life. Mercury’s Retrograde from March 2nd to 23rd may bring a rush of thoughts and communications that are difficult to deal with. This means you will find it very difficult to concentrate or get any clarity in your thoughts so you’d be better not to sign anything if you can avoid it. This is a testing time for you where you find what you are made of. Brave Mars behind you will allow to you face and defeat any opposition so that you can at least hold your ground, if not make advances with your personal and professional goals. Any plans you make at this time may have to be changed or delayed, and if travelling now don’t be surprised if you have to suffer lost bags or late flights. Leo look forward to a fantastic month ahead, thanks to Mercury being in Retrograde from March 2nd to the 23rd. The retrograde motion means this transit lasts a lot longer than usual giving an extended period of clear thoughts and ease in communication. This is a good period for attending to paperwork and negotiating better deals why not ask for a raise? Mercury is with Uranus in the sky bringing you surprisingly good news and heightened intuition. You may have very insightful dreams or flashes of insight about an exciting new future, and as Mercury is in retrograde, perhaps even some insight into your past, which is valuable. From March 5th to 15th, Venus may highlight differences between you and a partner but helpful Mercury will allow you to find a mutually beneficial compromise. March 22nd’s New Moon will bring a calming and balancing influence that will last about four weeks. Virgo between March 5th to 15th you’ll be feeling the love. Kick back and relax enjoy the company of friends, family and that someone special. You should be feeling great and will looking for some affection and fun in your life. Money matters will be going your way so take advantage of this very comfortable transit to entertain or go out and party. The first two weeks in March will be an excellent time to cash in on your newfound good fortune, love and money will gravitate towards you. This is about as good as transits can get so have fun, socialise, party, and try your luck. Mars in your sign means you are pumped up, lots of adrenalin. Sexual desire will be strong too, and you and a willing partner may enjoy your more primal energy so long as you both understand the phase you are going through. Libra you might struggle with a very hectic month, Mercury Retrograde will be opposite your sign from March 2nd to 23rd. Mercury actually turns retrograde on the 12th, so be very careful not to sign anything or make important decisions around that date. If you really need to do business or make plans, get someone you trust to check over the details for you, but not a Aries, Cancer, Libra or Capricorn. This unsettling and nervous influence is made even stronger because Uranus is also opposite your sign. This month, it would be wise to tone things down, try and relax and not push people too much. The Sun. Moon, Mercury and Uranus all opposite your sign this month means that the longer-term influence from Uranus are activated to the extreme. This is the most important Moon phase for you this year where the changes are most likely to come. Scorpio you may suffer a mildly uncomfortable week or so with an opposition from Venus between March 5th and the 15th. This gives you a lazy attitude it may be difficult getting motivated for work as you would rather be playing or lounging around the house. You could feel more needy for some love and affection but lovers may find you too demanding which could create from tension. Another thing to watch with this transit is a tendency to over spend and also go a bit crazy. Greed and excesses of the past are things to think about now, time to take stock and see what lessons need to be learned so you can be happier and wealthier in the future. Another strong influence later this month comes from Mars retrograde. You’ll feel an increased energy this is an excellent time for self-promotion and gaining assistance and lots of admiration. Sagittarius you’ll still be enjoying the peaceful and loving Venus in your sign until March 5th. This should improve your social life and bring warm relations with friends and lovers, they will be responding well to your extra warmth and affection. Money matters should be good too, spend a little extra on yourself why not buy some new clothes or splash out on some beauty products. The last week of this month gets a bit more stressful with Mercury in Retrograde this will last through until mid April. You are going to feel rushed both in mind and body, miss-communication and even arguments with other people are most lightly at this time. You’re likely to feel more irritable and restless, and little things that others do will annoy you more than usual. Delays and changes in plans, especially in business deals or travels are possible so try to remain flexible. This is not the time to be making important decisions or signing contracts.

March 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 2/21/12 7:21 PM Page 70

â&#x20AC;˘ Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer and vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. â&#x20AC;˘ Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. â&#x20AC;˘ Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first. Remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours. â&#x20AC;˘ Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, and his very real need to be home and relax. â&#x20AC;˘ Your goal. Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquillity where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. â&#x20AC;˘ Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t greet him with complaints and problems. â&#x20AC;˘ Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t complain if heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s home late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day. â&#x20AC;˘ Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low soothing and pleasant voice. â&#x20AC;˘ Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him. A good wife always knows her place.

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March 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 2/21/12 7:31 PM Page 72

A Date for your Diary... Sunday 3rd June: CHARITY FAMILY FUN DAY A special Charity Family Fun Day is being organised for Sunday June 3rd to coincide with the Queens Diamond Jubilee celebration weekend in the UK. The event will be held at Lauro Golf Academy, on the road from Alhaurin el Grande to Alhaurin de la Torre. Organisers are now looking for charity groups to take stalls to raise money for their own organisations and a limited number of suitable businesses will also be offered the opportunity to promote their products. There is no fee for charities although businesses will be charged €20 per pitch. Company sponsorship is also encouraged. The fun day will incorporate a traditional Family Sports Day, live entertainment, demonstrations, shows, stalls, tombola, beat the goalie, Bouncy Castle, games, candy floss, popcorn, wine tasting and much more. The highlight of the day will be a Family Sports Day organised by Kidz Inland, a voluntary group which runs regular events in the Coin and Alhaurin area. The Family Sports Day will take every child back to the old school sports day events such as egg and spoon, beanbag race, sack race and a mums v dads tug-o-war event. Live music will be provided by the hugely popular Costa Rock who will give a performance of their 80s music through to rock numbers whilst there will be a series of demonstrations and shows by local theatrical, dance and sports groups. Food will be a mixture of traditional British fare through to curries and paellas whilst local stalls will also features cakes, biscuits and treats. The event is also being run in conjunction with the 4th annual Big Lunch which falls on the same weekend as the Diamond Jubilee. The Big Jubilee Lunch will also be held at the Charity Family Fun Day with caterers providing a range of traditional food from the Big Lunch Recipe book. Back in 1977 some 10 million people partied in the streets to celebrate the Silver Jubilee. Event and organiser Lisa Sadleir, of Family Life in Spain, is hoping the British community will get into the spirit of this event and encourages other nationalities to come along and taste a little of British culture. Lisa said: “This event is aimed at having fun! We are hoping that it will demonstrate the good old community spirit is alive and well on the Costa del Sol. The more charities that can benefit from the event the better. I look forward to hearing from you”. For further information and to book a stall contact Lisa Sadleir on familylifeinspain@gmail.com or tel: 608 840 692.

W h a t ’ s News

March 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 2/21/12 7:31 PM Page 73

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March 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 2/21/12 7:31 PM Page 74

A New Bellringer..... After Quasimodo’s death, the bishop of the cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bellringer was needed. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills but not being particularly impressed with any of them, he decided to call it a day. Just then a lone, armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bellringers job. The bishop was incredulous. "But you have no arms !!" he said to the man. "No matter," replied the man, "Observe!"He then began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in astonishment, convinced that he had finally found a suitable replacement for Quasimodo. Suddenly, whilst leaning forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped, and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below. The stunned bishop rushed to his side. When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments before. As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked, "Bishop, who was this man ?" "I don’t know his name," replied the bishop sadly, "but his face rings a bell." The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his heart due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist, the bishop decided to continue his interviews for the replacement bellringer of Notre Dame. The first man to approach him said,"Your excellency, I am the brother of the poor, armless wretch that fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday. I pray that you'll honour his life by allowing me to replace him in this duty." The bishop agreed to give the man an audition, and as the armless man’s brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell, he groaned, clutched at his chest and died on the spot. Two monks, hearing the bishop’s cries of grief at this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his side."What has happened ?" the first breathlessly asked, "Who is this man ?" "I don’t know his name," sighed the distraught bishop, "but he’s a dead ringer for his brother."

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March 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 2/21/12 7:31 PM Page 75

March 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 2/21/12 7:31 PM Page 76

Planes, Motorbikes & Blondes?!? Nothing to worry about... Fifteen minutes into flight, the pilot announced: "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left."Thirty minutes later the pilot announced: "One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry, we can fly just fine on two engines." An hour later the pilot announced: "On more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours. But don't worry, we still have one engine left." The blonde in seat 17A turned to the man next to her and said, "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day!" A motorcyclist was driving along on a dark, cold, wet and windy evening when he spotted a hitch hiker. He stopped to pick him up and advised him to turn his coat around in order to reduce the effect of the wind and the rain down his front. The passenger did this and they set off. After a while the motorcyclist was horrified to notice that his passenger was no longer on board. He turned the bike around and began retracing his path. Spotting a crowd in the street surrounding a body, he parked up, walked over and with dread asked “Is he OK?” “He was 100% okay when we found him,” replied a blonde from the crowd. “But he has relapsed somewhat since I got his head around the right way!”

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March 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 2/21/12 7:31 PM Page 77

teleweb internet & telephone just got better! tion for someone who lives here full time. Do you have a wireless internet system that you are not happy with? Teleweb will convert you over to their service at no cost. What have you got to lose?

HAVE A UK No IN SPAIN!

teleweb – “Pay as you go” internet Teleweb Internet & Telephone, has been providing wireless internet services since 2003, and in that time, has seen consistent growth and added new exciting services to its well established high speed 5GHz wireless internet service. FLEXIBILITY: Because you do not need a land line, you can have internet on a “Pay as you go” system. There are flexible solutions ranging from 1 hour to a permanent connec-

Teleweb offers a telephone system (without the need for a landline) with calls from 1.8c per minute. It is just like a Telefonica landline without the wires. No need to have your computer on to make and receive calls. Choose a telephone number from your home country or just elect to have a Malaga number. This system will work anywhere in the world with the same low call costs, you just need an internet connection. For more information on any of the above, please call Teleweb on 952 833 300 or Email: info@teleweb-marbella.

March 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 2/21/12 7:31 PM Page 78

Puzzle It Out

Solutions on page 88

Crossword Across: 1 Paces (9) 6 Not behind (5) 9 A hydrocarbon gas (7) 10 Leaves (7) 11 Pious (7) 12 Fitting inside one another (7) 13 In another manner (9) 15 Vista (5) 16 Vapors (5) 19 Buyers (9) 22 8th planet of the solar system (7) 23 Ruffled (7) 25 Avid (7) 26 A standard example (7) 27 Athletic endeavor (5) 28 Surmised (9) Down: 1 Exhausts (5) 2 Flightless bird (7) 3 Disperse (7) 4 Each and all (5) 5 One more than 16 (9) 6 Charges (7) 7 Tie together (7) 8 Differs (9) 13 Coordinates (9) 14 Makes larger (9) 17 Female singing range (7) 18 Old Scottish for "Salmon" (7) 20 Use (7) 21 Burbot or guffer (7) 23 Worries (5) 24 Fearful anticipation (5)

Sudoku

Brain Teaser Dodgy Dave did such a good job of the painting the housing estate, he was asked to paint the room numbers on all of the doors of the fourth floor of the local hotel. He painted all of the numbers from 400 to 499. How many times did he paint the number 4?

Say What You See...

cod business salmon 78

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March 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 2/21/12 7:31 PM Page 79

March 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 2/21/12 7:31 PM Page 80

F I N A N C I A L Economic & Currency News... Life Insurance & Expat Financial Planning Two types of life insurance policy can be used by expats planning their finances

1. Investment Life policies

By placing investments in an insurance wrapper, the investments are effectively assigned to the insurance company and as such are not included as part of an investors wealth whilst within the policy. This can have significant benefits for tax planning: • No income tax or capital gains tax whilst the assets are held within the investment wrapper • No Spanish wealth tax liability whilst in the wrapper • Withdrawals of up to 5% per annum can be made with no immediate tax implications (for a maximum of 20 years) • Taxation is only made on withdrawals, which may be taken at a more convenient time (when tax liability may be more favourable) • Withdrawals are paid gross Assets that can grow tax free will achieve gross roll-up i.e. there will be interest on growth which would normally be lost to tax. Offshore fund platforms such as www.OffshoreFundSupermarket.com, enable investors to buy funds offshore and within tax wrappers, gaining a range of tax advantages. If is important to consult your financial advisor and accountant to ensure the correct decisions are made. To see if you could save money by using a tax wrapper, try the tax calculators provided by Prudential International at http://www.pruadviser.co.uk/content/pruinternational/consider/calculators/

2. Insurance Life policies

A Life insurance policy will pay a lump sum or income to beneficiaries on the passing of the insured. This can be used to protect a liability like a mortgage, or provide regular finance to replace lost income. It can also be used to pay a potential inheritance tax bill. As life insurance policies can be placed in trust, they are usually received tax free by the beneficiary. UK life insurance policies usually only cover the insured whilst they are in the UK, or if they are abroad for a short period of time. Similarly a Spanish policy may only cover the insured whilst they are in Spain. An international life insurance policy will cover the expatriate wherever they choose to reside. It is important expatriates choose a policy that is designed for living abroad for an extended period of time or permanently.

Written by our financial expert James Alexander.

If you would like fully regulated independent financial advice please contact us: sales@costalinkmagazine.com or on 663 061 669.

March 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 2/21/12 7:32 PM Page 81

It’s all greek to me!!!

Yes the Greek saga is still ongoing, will they or wont they get their bailout money. The Greek government has admitted is still faces a tough job persuading the EU and the IMF to save it from bankruptcy, even after parliament (Greece) approved savage extra budget cuts, we have seen the result of this on the TV, Athens on Fire, shops and business looted, the Greek people are not happy!!! They will face a tough time for many years to come. Maybe Greece needs a lightning strike to wipe out it debts, a lightning strike annihilated an entire football team in the Congo, with the opposition team totally unharmed. Accusations of witch craft were rife, I think Greece would see this as blessing in disguise. The credit ratings agencies have been at it again, its Moody’s this time, threatening to down grade the UK within the next 18 months (this would make Sarkosy very happy) and also France. It was other credit ratings agency S&P that downgraded France. Another agency Fitch decided to down grade Spanish banks this month, Santander. BBVA, Bankia, and Caixa bank amongst other Spanish banks, there were 11 in total. What has this done to the currency markets, not allot really sterling still around the low-mid 1.19’s and the euro around 82-84 cents against the pound and between 1.29-mid 1.31 against the USD$, even these fluctuation can have an impact on your funds when exchanging your money. Speak to Moneycorp for free, expert guidance on how they can make your money go further. Contact Moneycorp on 951 319 700 or email at costalink@moneycorp.com. Please mention the Costa link magazine when contacting Moneycorp.

March 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 2/21/12 7:33 PM Page 82

3madness! door Hyundai have recently released the Veloster, with its” UNIQUE “ 1 door on one side and 2 doors on the other, it has made us wonder just how unique this idea is???? The Mini clubman available currently has the “club door” on one side as well as the front passenger door and only the front door on the other side. The Daf City was designed in 1966 by styling company OSI, Daf, the only Dutch car maker, realised that more and more cars were being produced and that soon the roads would become gridlocked, this was their take on what we would now call an MPV crossed with a microcar! The Chevrolet Suburban is one of GM’s most popular cars it has been in production since 1935, and the 7th generation produced from 1969 to 1972 had one door on the driver’s side and two on the passenger side. The real story behind the 1982 Volvo 243 is not clear, one report says that due to a computer error on the production line 30 cars were built with the side of a 244 saloon and the other side of a 242 coupe, another report is that these cars were built for the Estonian police. The Fiesta Urba was made for the Russian market in 1989 and was offered as the ultimate shopping car! The near side had three doors and there was a built in fridge in the boot. It came with parking aids too including a garage door opener! 82

March 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 2/21/12 7:33 PM Page 83

March 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 2/21/12 7:33 PM Page 84

The Jokes page

Jokes page

Bill was employed at a large factory on the outskirts of town he had worked there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his private parts into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. “ What's wrong, Bill?” she asked. “ Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my private parts into the pickle slicer?” “ Oh, Bill, you didn't” she exclaimed. “ Yes, I did.” he replied. “ Oh dear, Bill, what happened?” “ I got fired.” “ No Bill, I mean what happened with the pickle slicer?” “ Oh...she got fired too.”

Quality come back... An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared an office with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients. As he approached the receptionist desk he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. He gave her his name. In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, "YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?" All the patients in the waiting room snapped their

heads around to look at the very embarrassed man. Herecovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, "NO, I'VE COME TO ENQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS." A man came walking up to the house when he noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. "Grandpa, what are you doing?" he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance without answering. "Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" he asked again. The old man slowly looked at him and said, "Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma's idea."

Remember things may appear light under water! Above it though may be a slightly different matter altogether.....

March 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 2/22/12 3:22 PM Page 85

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MINERVA STUDIO APT

PART REFORMED, GOOD RENTAL

FULLY REFORMED 1 BED APT WITH BEST QUALITIES

HIGH FLOOR WONDERFUL VIEWS

119,000€

103,000€

79,500€

1 BED CORNER MINERVA

1 BED ACUARIO COMPLEX

WRAP AROUND TERRACE REFORMED. BEST QUALITIES

HIGH FLOOR VIEWS OVER POOLS, SEA, LA PALOMA

PART REFORMED, GOOD RENTAL POTENTIAL

55,000€

RENTALS (ELIE: 634 820 748) STUDIOS BENALMADENA FROM 300€ PCM, 2 BED/BATH MODERN 450€ PCM, 3 BED/2 BATH TOWNHOUSE PINILLO 650€ PCM, 3 BED/2 BATH APT LA PALOMA 650€ PCM

CALAHONDA AREA 89,950€

115,000€

185,000€

RIVIERA 2 BED / 2 BATH

TORRENUEVA, 1 BED GROUNDFLOOR

RIVIERA, 3 BED / 2 BATH

MODERN 3RD FLOOR. NO LIFT

BEAUTIFUL URB, GREAT VIEWS

LARGE TERRACE. CLOSE TO AMENITIES

RENTALS (STEVE: 636 829 631) 1 BED GROUNDFLOOR LA CALA, PARKING 450€ PCM 2 BED TOWNHOUSE LA CALA 750€ PCM DUE TO A SUCCESSFUL START TO 2012, WE NEED YOUR PROPERTY FOR SALE OR RENT

March 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 2/21/12 7:33 PM Page 86

Wizard Word Search

KIDS STUFF bee amazed.....

can you helpp the bee get to the flower

potions potions dragon dragon unicorn spell book

cauldron cauldro goblet broom broom charms

use your magic magic to discover disco ver each of of these 12 words hidden within within the puzzle

magic wand socerer crystal cr ystal ball

March 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 2/22/12 5:23 PM Page 87

Patio doors secured, Safes opened and fitted, Locks upgraded, Changed key holding. Fully registered. Credit cards now taken. Call Bob and Debbie on:

952 660 233 - 667 668 685

666 089 427

private buyer

March 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 2/21/12 7:33 PM Page 88

Puzzle It Out Solutions FromPages 16 & 78 Crossword Solution

Just Say What You See Fishy business A hole in 1

Brain Teaser

120 times don't forget rooms 440-449 especially room 444

Trivia Quiz Answers 1) Kiev 2) Influenza 3) Jamie Oliver 4) Black Russian 5) Boudicea 6) Avon 7) Eight 8) 1471 9) Paul McCartney 10) Sangatte 11) John Clease 12) Hansard 13) Daniel Radcliffe 14) Hypothermia 15) Black 16) Wind in the Willows 17) Artful Dodger 18) Azerbaijan 19) For Valor 20) Kilamanjaro 21) MacDuff 22) Barry White 23) Daily Planet 24) Arizona 25) Dolly 26) Pakistan 27) Emily 28) Calder 29) London 30) The Duke & Duchess of Cambridge

costa link magazine will no longer accept advertising from the following businesses or individuals:

w Tony Bedwell - The Oak Restaurant wRestaurant El Fogon - Benahavis wA1SSE Electricians wNextaway.com wSOLAR LIVING

ATTENTION 88

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March 2012 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 2/21/12 7:33 PM Page 90

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