March 2018 costa link magazine by Costalink Magazine

March 2018 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 21/02/18 8:28 pm Page 1

March 2018 N°132

No1

MARBELLA

AUTOMOTIVE•ELECTRONIC•DIAGNOSTIC

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costadelhome.com intelligent property search

page 42

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No1

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Ed’s Note..

Well, well, well it’s March already, and it is really feeling as though Spring it on its way everything is looking green and the skies are wall-to-wall blue (don’t you just LOVE living here on the Costa del Sol!)… The clocks go forward on March 25th bringing with it longer evenings and a chance to get out on the terrace! Lots of other things going on this month on the 1st it’s St David’s Day, on the 11th it’s Mothering Sunday in the UK on the 17th it’s St Patrick’s Day on the 19th it’s Spanish Father’s Day and at the end of the month we get into Easter it’s a bank holiday on the 25th (Maundy Thursday) and on the 30th (Good Friday). The Costa Link Magazine is celebrating its 11th Anniversary! Yes, we have survived the highs and lows, and we are thriving, which is no mean feat for a small business here on the Costa del Sol. We hope you enjoy this issue and a sincere thank you to you all for your continued support. Keep smiling and enjoy the read!

in the March Magazine...

Life, Love & Marriage... and how to really give your other half a scare! WW this month.

???

Solutions on page 80 Pit your brains against the TRIVIA QUIZ, questions for all ages from 6 -116!

Geek out this month with the Gadget & Gizmo’s page we have a retro keyboard and an awesome flamethrower plus lots more…

Well we all mellow as we age but this chap has it all sorted... A Man’s world this month!

In ‘All Revved Up’ this month. The Range Rover Sport PHEV took on the Dragon Road last month we look at Cars & Motorbikes in high places…

Arrr me hearties, it’s Jake at the Pirates kids page this month! Yo, ho, ho….

Well there is loads going on to keep you busy this month on the Costa del Sol… Check out the ‘What’s on Guide” on page 62!

Business Directory... Can’t find that all important contact see page 76.

Solutions on page 80 Puzzle It Out... Puzzles galore challenge those little grey cells.

HOW TO CONTACT US Call: 951 254 222 or 663 061 669 Email: sales@costalinkmagazine.com

Website: www.costalinkmagazine.com Facebook: facebook.com/costa.link.spain 4

The Jokes Page: Laugh out loud or just get the giggles on page 72!!!

Whatsapp: 663 061 669 or Tweet: @costa_link

facebook.com/Costa.Link.Spain/

No part of this publication, including layout, graphic design or pictures may be copied, SCANNED, used or reproduced without our prior written consent. Costa Link Magazine accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims made by our advertisers or information provided by ourcontributors. All rights reserved © 2018. Deposito Legal: MA-228-2007.

to advertise in costa link magazine please call 951 254 222 or 663 061 669

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A Woman’s World

Life, Love & Marriage...

DATES TO REMEMBER... I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is. Scaring men is so easy!

INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY

OLDER WOMEN... After being married for 44 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, “Forty-four years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black-and-white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25-year-old girl.” “now I have a €1,500,000 home, a €45,000 car, nice big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 69-year-old woman. It seems 8th March 2018 to me that you're not holding up your end of things.” My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed, and watching a 10-inch black and white TV. Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve your mid-life crises! ALL CHANGE... A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. TRYING TO FIND LOVE... I wrote a personal ad, it said, “desperately seeking a husband.” AMAZInG, I’ve had hundreds of replies. They all say the same thing – “TAKE MINE”.

Missing out on English Speaking Films? we’ve got just the ticket...

Check out our website..

www.costalinkmagazine.com

films in English listed by Cinema by time updated weekly

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Your Property, Our Priority!

We can help you to buy or sell your property in Fuengirola and surroundings areas

Ref: vik172 - Fuengirola, price 289.000€: Fantastic and bright apartment with 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms plus another shower room. Large and inviting living room with separate dining area which leads onto a sunny and cosy terrace which half is closed in with windows. Beautiful separate kitchen with a laundry room and a storage. The property has got lots of wardrobes and space to store. The complex is very well maintained with pools, gardens and a tennis court. Ref: vik168 - Fuengirola, price 320.000€: Beautiful and unique penthouse close to all kind of services such as restaurants, shops, Miramar shopping centre, beach, etc. Very practic layout with a small ʹ ϐ Ǥ Ȁ Ǥ There is exit from the living room and also the mainbedroom out onto the large and sunny terrace. Ref: vik161 - Calahonda, price 237.500€: Cosy townhouse in Calahonda within walking distance to

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March 2018 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 21/02/18 8:30 pm Page 8

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CELEB PHOBIAS...

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p i s s z i o b G how S

HERE ARE SOME FUNNY & STRANGE CELEB PHOBIAS...Celebrity Phobias That Will Make You Feel Better About Your Own Anxieties. Feeling silly cause you're afraid of heights? These famous fears probably top yours. Billy Bob Thornton is afraid of antique furniture. "I get creeped out and I can't breathe and I can't eat around it," Thornton once told Sky News. "I've had friends tell me that maybe I was beaten to death with an antique chair in a former life." He's also afraid of bold colours (ODD!) Oprah is afraid of chewing gum: Miss Winfrey's fear of gum is so extreme that she forbids the substance from even entering the building in which her show is filmed. She's gone as far as to throw out a dinner plate upon which a guest had left a chewed piece of gum. Sounds like she needs to go on Oprah and sort that fear out people. Kyra Sedgwick is afraid of talking food: According to her husband Kevin Bacon, Sedgwick finds talking food horrifying. Her phobia is so bad that if she sees a commercial with talking food, she has to immediately leave the room. Orlando Bloom is afraid of pigs: Yes, that's right. Little piglets. When one got loose on the set of his movie Kingdom of Heaven, Bloom allegedly bolted away as fast as he could. Pamela Anderson is afraid of mirrors: Oh, the irony. While the former Baywatch star isn't afraid to bear her body for Playboy (11 times), she's completely terrified of her own reflection. Not only can she not look at herself in a mirror, she also refuses to watch herself on television. Tyra Banks is afraid of dolphins: "I've been afraid of [them] since I was 8 or 9," she once told People magazine. "I have dreams that I am in a pool and there are dolphins bumping me and I'm frightened."

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p i s s z i o b G how S

CONTINTED...Celebrity Phobias That Will Make You Feel Better About Your Own Anxieties. These famous fears probably top yours... Adele is afraid of seagulls: In 2008, the singer confessed to Now Magazine that she's got herself a case of seagull-phobia. It all started when she was 9. "I was walking down the promenade in Tenby eating [an ice cream], when this huge $%ÂŁ&!%$ seagull came down and swiped it off me... I thought it was going to take me away with it." Alfred Hitchcock was afraid of eggs: Quite the strange phobia for a man who made a career out of all things scary. "I'm frightened of eggs," he once told an interviewer. "That white round thing without any holes...have you ever seen anything more revolting than an egg yolk breaking and spilling its yellow liquid?"- Quite true! Matthew McConaughey is afraid of revolving doors: He may be suave, but McCounaghey'll lose his cool if he finds himself too close to a revolving door. "I get anxious just being near them," the actor has said. Helen Mirren is afraid of talking on the telephone: The most royal of phobias. "I'm definitely frightened of the phone," Mirren was quoted saying. "It makes me so nervous. I always avoid picking it up if I can... The invention of the answering machine was amazing." Diddy is afraid of toes: When he appeared on The Tonight Show with Kate Beckinsale, he refused to look at her legs in case caught sight of her feet. When asked why, he replied that he has "this foot thing. I really fear a second long toe." Kylie Minogue is afraid of coat hangers: She admitted her fear to The Telegraph saying, "I have a hanger phobia. I don't like the way they sound when you put them in the wardrobe." Because of this, she has to lay all her clothes out in her room instead of hanging them up.

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WORST “TOP -TOURISM” DESTINATIONS: Louis Tussauds House of Wax, UK... AWFUL!

It's been labelled the worst waxworks museum in the world and Louis Tussauds House of Wax's models really are as bad as they get. The attraction in Great Yarmouth is most famous for its terrible waxworks that look nothing like the people they are supposed to be. The models date back to the 1970s and include a scary Prince Edward, an unflattering Princess Diana and George Best not looking his, er, best (Just incase you didn’t recognise them the picture is of Kylie Minogue and Jason Donovan)

Shijingshan Amusement Park, China...

BIZZARE PLACE!

When it comes to Disney, we want nothing but the real thing, but the Shijingshan Amusement Park in Beijing is all about faking it - a replica Cinderella's castle, Minnie and Donald Duck not quite looking themselves and even a Hello Kitty thrown into the mix. Shijingshan's deputy general manager Yin Zhiqiang told AP: "We do not have any agreements with Disney. The characters in our park just look a little bit similar to theirs."

Sulabh International Museum of Toilets, India...

FOR TOILET AFICIONADOS ONLY!

The Sulabh International Museum of Toilets ranks in the top 30 things to do in New Delhi, but we can't understand why anyone would want to spend their spare time ogling loos. As well as ancient lavs, the museum houses pictures and exhibits – even poetry – related to the history of the toilet. Nice!

Restroom Cultural Park, South Korea... VERY STRANGE!

If a toilet museum wasn't enough, you can have a 'dirty' day out at a toilet theme park in South Korea. The Restroom Cultural Park in the city of Suwon is the place to go to learn facts about human poo, look around a toilet-themed art gallery and check out squatting figures in the sculpture garden. The park was built in memory of the city's former mayor, Sim JaeDuck (affectionately known as Mr Toilet) who had a passion for toilets!

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WORST “TOP -TOURISM” DESTINATIONS: TEAPOT ISLAND, UK... UNLESS YOU LOVE TEAPOTS, DONT BOTHER!

We love a good cuppa but a day out browsing teapots, however quirky they may be, isn't really our idea of fun. Maidstone's Teapot Island is an unusual exhibition of 6,700 teapots and while the attraction isn't actually an island it does feature all kinds of teapots - Darth Vader, Winston Churchill and a Dalek, to name but a few. One reason to visit is that it raises funds for Kent Air Ambulance so if you're just after a weird day out in Kent or enjoy looking at quirky ceramics, it may be the place for you.

LOVE LAND, SOUTH KOREA...

NOT A PLACE TO TAKE UNDER 18’s!

Do not take the kids to this theme park! In fact, we're not sure it's even appropriate for adults, unless you don't mind spending the day blushing and cringing. Love Land in South Korea celebrates love & sex in the most graphic forms imaginable. The theme park was created to teach newlyweds about conjugal love and is popular among honeymooners. Expect to see an interactive self-pleasuring bicycle with feathers on its wheel, 140 raunchy sculptures & explicit sex-ed films.

BRITISH LAWNMOWER MUSEUM, UK...

YOU’VE GOT TO LOVE LAWNMOWERS!

Lawnmowers? To us these garden machines just get in the way and take up too much space in the shed but apparently there's huge interest in the grass cutters and even the British Lawnmower Museum. At the museum in Merseyside, you can look at vintage lawnmowers, browse celebrity donations and check out some of the fastest lawnmowers in the world.

AVANOS HAIR MUSEUM, TURKEY...CREEPY!

Cappadocia is best-known for its magnificent cave homes and quirky fairy chimneys, but one man has turned one of the historic caves into the bizarre and creepy Avanos Hair Museum. The weird museum contains hair samples of more than 16,000 women worldwide and was created by potter Chez Galip, who we're assuming has a strange obsession with hair. Each lock is taped to the walls of the cave with the name and address of its owner on display.

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SPECIAL SPRING OFFERS COVER, ROLLER, POOL HEATING & POOL SAFETY Ensure your Pool is Safe, Covered, Clean & Warm! Special Packages Available KITCHEN & BATHROOM REFORMS, GENERAL CONSTRUCTION PROJECTS CALL NOW FOR A FREE SITE VISIT! SOLAR BUBBLE COVER, ROLLER, POOL HEATING & SAFETY FENCING Previously €5995*

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WHO AM I...? Can you work out who I am from questions 1 to 10â&#x20AC;Ś 1) I got my first guitar in 1956. 2) You can visit my home. 3) Nine was my lucky number. 4) I got married in Gibraltar on the 20th of March 1969. 5) I often wore white. 6) I sold my hair for charity. 7) My mothers name was Julia. 8) And my aunt was named Mimi. 9) I died in 1980. 10) I was in the Beatles. Answer on page 80

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TRICKY TRIVIA QUIZ

1) Which English monarch was Queen Elizabeth II’s grandfather? 2) Where was the 2018 Winter Olympics held? 3) What is the capital of Columbia? 4) Which is the only vertebrate capable of sustained flight? 5) What is the name of Snoopy’s brother? 6) Who had a hit in the 80’s with ‘Easy Lover’? 7) Which town in England has the largest stage? 8) Who wrote the book ‘Rob Roy’? 9) How many Von Trapp children were there in the Sound of Music? 10) What do you do with a ‘Won Ton’?

11) What is the birthstone for November? 12) Which of the seven dwarfs has the longest name? 13) Which creature gives birth to the largest young? 14) In which ocean is the Maldives? 15) Which word can go before the following to make 3 more words; Pet, Ton and Mine? 16) Which telephone network covers Gibraltar? 17) In which country was Ivor the Engine from? 18) Which element has the chemical symbol Ra? 19) In which television soap did JR Ewing star? 20) What would you collect if you collected Clarice Cliff? 21)In which month is American Independence Day?

22) What sort of fruit is a russet? 23) Which female artist has had albums called 19, 21 & 25? 24) What is the name of the building in which Whiskey is made? 25) In cockney rhyming slang, what is a ‘Tea Leaf’? 26) In the Bible, who cut off Samson’s hair? 27) Which part of your body would be affected by astigmatism? 28) What is the fat of a whale also known as? 29) In the nursery rhyme, who milked the cow with the crumpled horn? 30) In which comic does Dennis the Mennis appear?

Answers on page 80

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MEGA SHIPS

Cruise ships are getting bigger and bigger and by the time a new world’s largest cruise ship is built an even bigger ship is already being planned. We take a look at the top 7 biggest cruise ships at in the world at the moment by passenger capacity.

AT NUMBER 7... Norwegian Joy

Cruise Line: Norwegian Entered Service: June 2017 Gross Tonnage: 167,725 Length: 1,094.0 ft Passengers: 3,883 Crew: 1,700

Norwegian Cruise Line’s Breakaway Plus class of cruise ships. The ship is the first of two Breakaway Plus ships and boasts on board features like the oceans first ever Snow Room. It’s home ports will be in Asia Shanghai & Tianjin (Beijing).

AT NUMBER 6... Quantum of the Seas

Cruise Line: Royal Caribbean Entered Service: Nov 2014 Gross Tonnage: 167,800 Length: 1,139 ft Passengers: 4,180 Crew: 1,300

This ship cruising to another level bringing a lot of innovative features including the North Star, Ripcord by iFLY, SeaPlex, Two70 and more. Built at the Meyer Werft shipyard in Papenburg, Germany which is also the same shipyard that built sister ships Anthem and Ovation of the Seas.

AT NUMBER 5... Anthem of the Seas

Cruise Line: MSC Cruises Entered Service: June 2017 Gross Tonnage: 167,600 Length: 1,036 ft Passengers: 4,500 Crew: 1,500

Also technologically advanced with super fast internet, the North Star, Two70 and Ripcord by iFLY. The ship also has virtual balconies so even inside cabins will feel like an ocean view cabin. The Anthem can cruise up to 22 knots.

AT NUMBER 4... MSC Meraviglia

Cruise Line: MSC Cruises Entered Service: June 2017 Gross Tonnage: 167,600 Length: 1,036 ft Passengers: 4,600 Crew: 1,500

This is the first Meraviglia class vessel for MSC Cruises and the largest ever built for the cruise line to date. A second identical ship named MSC Bellissima is under construction and will arrive early 2019.

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TWO AT NUMBER 3... Oasis of the Seas Anthem of the Seas is one of the most technologically advanced in the world with super fast internet, the North Star, Two70 and Ripcord by iFLY. The ship also has virtual balconies so even inside cabins will feel like an ocean view cabin.

Cruise Line: Royal Caribbean Entered Service: Dec 2009 Gross Tonnage: 225,282 Length: 1,186.5 ft Passengers: 5,400 Crew: 2,394

TWO AT NUMBER 3... Allure of the Seas This ship is just huge. Allure has seven distinct neighborhood and too many dining spaces to count! The vessel is a totally different design to other large ships in the cruise industry and also boasts features like the Zip line and the AquaTheater.

Cruise Line: Royal Caribbean Entered Service: Oct 2010 Gross Tonnage: 225,282 Length: 1,187 ft Passengers: 5,400 Crew: 2,384

AT NUMBER 2... Harmony of the Seas Harmony of the Seas overtakes the other Oasis class ships just slightly. Harmony of the Seas features the 10-Story Ultimate Abyss slide which is located at the aft above the AquaTheater.

Cruise Line: Royal Caribbean Entered Service: May 2016 Gross Tonnage: 227,500 Length: 155.6 ft Passengers: 5,480 Crew: 2,100

AT NUMBER 1... Symphony of the Seas

The MS Symphony of the Seas is the largest passenger ship ever to be constructed by gross tonnage, at 230,000 GT. It has a Bionic Bar, where robotic bartenders will serve guests drinks. The futuristic Rising Tide Cruise Line: Royal Caribbean Bar will transport guests from Royal Prome- Entering Service: 21st April 2018 nade to Central Park. Symphony will also Gross Tonnage: 230,000 host the worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s tallest slide at sea with the Length: 1,188 feet Ultimate Abyss thrill ride. With loads more Passengers: 6,870 on-board including a icerink, AquaTheatre Crew: 2,100 and a massive array of places to eat and drink... To get on board the

Symphony of the Seas for a week long cruise around the Med in October 2018 at UNBEATABLE prices see Marbella Cruisers ad on page 27â&#x20AC;Ś

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Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Heaven, in Heaven...

An 85-year-old couple, after being married for almost 60 years, died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly due to her interest in health food and exercising. When they reached the Pearly Gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen, master bath suite and a Jacuzzi. As they looked around, the old man asked St. Peter how much all this was going to cost. "It's free," St. Peter replied, "this is Heaven." Next, they went out in the back yard to survey the championship-style golf course that the home was located. They would have golfing privileges every day and each week, the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on earth. The old man asked, "What are the green fees?" St. Peter replied, "This is Heaven, you play for free." After that, they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisine's of the World laid out. "How much to eat?" asked the old man. "Don't you understand yet? This is Heaven, it is free!" St. Peter replied, with some exasperation. "Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?" the old man asked timidly. St. Peter lectured, "That's the best part - you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven." With that, the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat and stomping on it, and screaming wildly. St. Peter and his wife both tried to calm him down, asking him what was wrong. The old man looked at his wife and said, "This is all your fault! If it weren't for your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!"

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Announcing the world’s Newest Cruise Ship and… Marbella Cruisers 2018 Cruise

Departing October 2018 It’s official: Royal Caribbean Internationals newest ship will be Symphony of the Seas. Currently being built in St. Nazaire, France, Symphony will join Oasis-class sister ships Harmony of the Seas, Oasis of the Seas and Allure of the Seas, and will be the 25th ship in the fleet; she’ll also be…

The largest cruise ship in the world and… Marbella Cruisers have reserved 75 cabins at ‘Pre Launch Prices’ We sail the Mediterranean on 7th October 2018 and you are invited to join our group, enjoying our early booking discount, our group discount, free on board spending money for every cabin and as always… …our Marbella Cruiser girls will be by your side ‘Door to Door’. All that will be needed to reserve the cabin of your choice at our pre launch prices will be a 150 pound sterling deposit, payable to our ABTA registered cruise agent by debit or credit card.

Email: colin@marbellacruisers.com Tel: 635 717 211 Check out our website for all cabin options and prices:

www.marbellacruisers.com

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GADGETS &Gizmo’s For any budding authors out there, Azio’s Retro Classic, mechanical QWERTY keyboard that looks and sounds like a vintage typewriter and features a Zinc alloy frame with genuine leather surface, but you can also opt for three similarly plush alternative designs there’s even a Bluetooth option!

Nintendo has always been the most child-focused of the big consoles, Now their new labo is simple: you create gaming accessories out of bits of cardboard, then use them together with the Switch to play. Initially two bundles available; the variety Kit - a RC car, house, fishing rod, piano and motorbike, and the Robot Kit. Seems like Nintendo’s on to another winner here.

A smartphone makes for a great camera – until it slips from your grasp and smashes into 1000 pieces. Just Mobile’s ShutterGrip is a solid ergonomic grip, and a pleasingly large button for firing the shutter. It’s compatible with most smartphones that support Bluetooth.

N-Tech’s 4K projector is compact enough to fit in most bags and only costs around 600€. With a 3,840 x 2,160 resolution at 60fps, Brightness of 1,500 lumens, and four speakers on the base providing 360 sound. It runs on Android 7.1, so you can either load up or stream from your phone over Bluetooth or WiFi. 30

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All the latest in the world of tech and gaming... Panasonic’s new 4K HDR LED TV – the FX750 – looks like it shipped straight from an art gallery thanks to the paper-thin all-glass exterior and transparent bezels. The amazing screen has HDR10+ being 20% brighter thank it’s predecessor. And as well as using the remote you can control it with Alexa and Google Assistant

Apple’s HomePod smart speaker is about to go on sale. it’s a premium-priced product offering some stuff you won’t find in any of its competitors, but at 360€ it needs to be! It will be able to control your home in conjunction with Siri and Apples new Home Kit platform and Apple claim that it will teach you music taste so you never hear a song that you don’t like again!

The Boring Company one of a number of companies founded by Elon Musk is now taking pre-orders for its first flamethrower. Apparently it’s completely legal. Anyone with safety concerns can add on the “Boring Company fire extinguisher” It could turn out to be a wise investment when the zombies arrive.

The C64 Mini is on be out later this month at around will cost 80€ has HDMI out, two USB ports, and comes with of a classic Competition Pro style joystick. Most importantly, it’s packed with C64 games, including bone-a-fide classics Impossible Mission, Paradroid, Speedball II, Spindizzy and Uridium.

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"SEXIEST CAMPUS" IN EUROPE Schellhammer Business School, founded in 2009 as the first English-speaking business school in southern Spain opens new campus. THE ESSENCE

In every business and industry, 80% has got to do with people; with Psychology. Having the right psychological knowledge and skills are an absolute requirement to be able to succeed and understand life. SotograndeGuide.com

chellhammer Business School oďŹ&#x20AC;ers a strong practical approach through its case studies where students can train their practical skills in order to best understand the application of theories. The learning processes promote the building of a rock-solid integrity and moral character and responsible orientation towards humanity.

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b Practical experiences

SBS students visit the installations of the luxury 5-star hotel Kempinski as part of the program’s Industrial Visits.

Schellhammer Business School, the first Englishspeaking business school in southern Spain, has announced the opening of their new campus at the 60-hectare private estate of Valle Romano Golf & Resort in Estepona. The new campus offers students 4-star quality accommodation, 3 outdoor swimming pools, a gym, paddle tennis courts, restaurant, snack bar, meditation room and even an 18-hole golf course. “We are extremely proud to unveil our new campus and are confident this can qualify as possibly the sexiest campus in Europe”

says the spokesperson. Adding that, “with high quality facilities, onsite 4-star quality accommodation, with panoramic sea views and this surrounded by nature, minutes from clean sandy beaches, over 300 days of sunshine per year and perfectly located for a quick weekend trip to the most sought after cultural destinations that southern Spain oﬀers, including Seville, Cadiz, Malaga, Granada and Cordoba, makes our campus unique.” Come to visit the amazing campus, meet the faculty and talk to the founder: Call +34 952907892.

SotograndeGuide.com

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The World according to GOOGLEBOX...

Watching a TV show about other people watching TV shows sounds like a pretty strange concept, but who knew it could be hilarious… Some certain rib cracking funnies here!

ON CHILDBIRTH: "If nature had done things properly, instead of having this messy arrangement and pain for the mother, you'd do the same as you'd do with chickens. Lay an egg, nice and simple, and put it in the airing cupboard for nine months." Josef ON THE HUMAN BODY: "Your ears line up with your nipples. Your nipples and ears are for balance." Scarlett Moffatt

ON GAME OF THRONES: “It’s like a sexy dungeons and Dragons…” Betty Moffatt

ON THE ANTIQUES ROADSHOW: "What this programme does is that after a heavy weekend, you can sit in front of the box, cross-eyed and bored to death, and not have to think about anything, apart from you have to get up for work tomorrow." Stephen ON THAT SHARON STONE SCENE IN BASIC INSTINCT: "If you were flashing your vulva at a policeman, they'd say, 'Come on, that's not appropriate.' And they'd go and get her some pants from the lost-and-found box. They wouldn't be letting her sit on that seat. Its unhygienic." Scarlett Moffatt ON BEAR GRYLLS: "I used to think Bear Grylls was one of those grill things where the fat drips off the side." Dom ON JAMIE OLIVER: "He's all: 'Whack a bit of this in, whack a bit of that in.' I could slap him." Leon

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Irish Pub in Estepona Old Town Centre - 49.900€ This Large Irish pub totals over 300m2 internally and has a feel of an old fashioned pub, it is in a very prominent location in the old town in Estepona.

Bar With Full Music License, Between San Pedro & Estepona - 55.000€

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WE URGENTLY NEED MORE BUSINESSES FOR SALE To receive updates on all new instructions go to: www.facebook.com/business.sales.spain and press like.

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The World according to GOOGLEBOX... Watching a TV show about other people watching TV shows sounds like a pretty strange concept, but who knew it could be hilarious… Some certain rib cracking funnies here! Continued...

ON THE ANIMAL KINGDOM: "Name an animal that's sexier than a lion." Alex Michael ON THE ANIMAL KINGDOM: "I hate spiders. Some of them have really big Kim Kardashian arses, don't they?" Chris

ON POLDARK: "I think he's very good-looking. I'm not sure how good he is at acting, but I'm not sure it really matters." Mary

ON TITANIC THE FILM: "She's a bitch: there's enough room on that bit of wood for both of them. There's loads of ways they could have got on it together; all she had to do was sit up. Then she pushed him into the water at the end." Tom Malone Jnr ON STAR WARS: "I'd be delighted if Darth Vader was my father. Big strong fella." Leon ON DOCTOR WHO: "How do they eat? Have you ever seen a Dalek whip up an omelette?" Dom

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A Manâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s World

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IN COLLEGE, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability. WHEN I WAS 25, I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally

predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.

WHEN I WAS 28, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition. WHEN I TURNED 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

I AM NOW A LOT OLDER AND A LOT WISER, and am looking for a girl with big boobs.

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MEDICAL MAYHEM

ANCIENT MEDICAL TREATMENTS THAT WILL MAKE YOUR STOMACH TURN…!

Medicine in the 21st century is the stuff of science fiction. Medicine back in the day wasn’t as, well, modern. Nor was it sanitary, and it often wasn’t even helpful. Sometimes it was downright terrifying. But you can be the judge.

• Trepanning — Drilling Holes Into Your Skull: Ever feel like your head hurts so badly it’s going to explode? While that’s entirely unlikely, there was a time when doctors would literally drill a hole into your skull to alleviate severe cranial pressure. Archaeological evidence suggests many people survived the procedure. Nevertheless, today’s doctors aren’t sold on the idea.

• Heroin Cough Syrup for Kids: Bayer is mostly associated with aspirin these days. But in the 1920s, the German drug giant advertised heroin as a cough remedy for children. Which sounds wrong, until you realise Bayer’s parent company helped the Nazis exterminate millions of Jews. So in the scheme of things, what’s a little heroin? • Malaria to Treat Syphilis: Treating one disease by knowingly giving patients another incredibly deadly one sounds insane. But that's exactly what Austrian physician Julius Wagner-Jauregg did in the 1920s: he discovered that malaria-induced fevers could help treat syphilis. He even won the Nobel Prize for his efforts. Seriously. Of course, considering the fact that malaria can kill you, a large number of patients died in the process. Which is why doctors no longer subscribe to the method. MORE HORRID TREATMENTS NEXT MONTH...

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SPORT & REMEDIAL THERAPY...

JOINT MOBILITY...

This little-known, yet quickly emerging method of exercise AND is starting to take a prominent place in some of today’s fitness programs, and it is very important for those who have limited range of motion. There have been several joint mobility programs that have been developed over the past few years, and there is a good reason why – these exercises work! I have seen joint mobility exercises prescribed as a method of rehabilitation, pre-habilitation, workout warm-ups, and a means of athletic enhancement. It has even been referred to as the fountain of youth.

IMMEDIATE BENEFITS:

Once you have finished a whole-body joint mobility session, you will feel completely relaxed. Any tension that was present has either been eliminated or softened.

2. You will restore health at each joint in your body by washing them with synovial fluid (joint lubrication). Prior to adolescence, our body would automatically feed our joints with nutrition. After puberty, the body stops doing this, and the only nutrition that our joints receive is that which we feed it through movement. So, if we don’t move through a full range of motion at each joint, we are literally Joint mobility exercises involve moving each joint through its full range of motion. Some people do starving our joints. this naturally everyday, oftentimes tilting the head 3. Another immediate benefit of joint mobility is left and right or rolling it in a circle to relieve tenthat it provides a method or reaching a heightened sion. sensory awareness, which will improve your ability Joint mobility exercise acts as a foundational tech- to concentrate. In other words, you will feel fully nique to increase range of motion and restore lost awake and aware. movement patterns, but the benefits don’t stop at increasing range of motion. There are a host of benBY MIKE IZON, SPORT MASSAGE MARBELLA efits waiting to be explored.

Medical Tips

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LYME DISEASE...

It’s coming up to that time of year spring has nearly sprung and there are millions of ticks here in Andalucía even in short grass. Here’s a quick guide as to what to do if you get a tick bite how to treat it and then the early symptoms of Lyme disease. Many people with early symptoms of Lyme disease develop a red, circular skin rash around a tick bite. This can appear up to 30 days after being bitten by a tick. Lyme disease is a bacterial infection that can be spread to humans by infected ticks. It's usually easier to treat if it's diagnosed early. Many people with early symptoms of Lyme disease develop a red, circular skin rash around a tick bite. This can appear up to 30 days after being bitten by a tick.

SOME OF THE SYMPTOMS Not everyone with Lyme disease gets the rash. Some people also have flu-like symptoms in the early stages, such as: • A high temperature, or feeling hot and shivery • Headaches • Muscle and joint pain • Tiredness and loss of energy

If your DOCTOR thinks you might have Lyme disease, they'll prescribe a 2 to 3 week course of antibiotics. It's important to finish the course, even if you start to feel better. Some people with severe symptoms will be referred to a specialist in hospital for injecSEE A DOCTOR IF YOU HAVE tions of stronger antibiotics. SYMPTOMS OF LYME DISEASE People with symptoms of Lyme disease • You’ve been bitten by a tick • You’ve seen a tick on your skin but can’t see it that last a long time will be referred to a specialist in hospital for advice and more now and have spent time in woods or areas blood tests. with long or short grass

POST-INFECTIOUS LYME DISEASE A few people who are diagnosed and treated for Lyme disease develop long-term symptoms such as tiredness, aches and loss of energy. This is known as post-infectious Lyme disease. The symptoms of post-infectious Lyme disease are often compared to fibromyalgia Tick bites aren't always painful. You may not notice and chronic fatigue syndrome. a tick unless you see it on your skin. Regularly It's not clear why this happens to some check your skin and your children or pets' skin people and not others. This means there is also no agreed treatment for post-infecafter being outdoors. tious Lyme disease. NOT ALL TICK BITES CAUSE LYME DISEASE Only a small number of ticks are infected with the bacteria that causes Lyme disease. A tick bite can only cause Lyme disease in humans if the tick has already bitten an infected animal. It's still important to be aware of ticks and remove them safely as soon as possible just in case.

CHECK OUT... Our website at www.costalinkmagazine.com for lots more Medical Tips!

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GRIEF IS AS UNIQUE AS THE GRIEVER

“No-one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing. At other times it feels like being mildly drunk or concussed. There is a sort of invisible blanket between the world and me.” A Grief Observed. C.S. Lewis One thing we can guarantee in our life is that we will grieve and experience loss at some time. It is a fact of life that neither our education system nor the material society in which we live acknowledge, nor do they help us prepare for this inevitable happening. Grief comes in many forms and for many reasons. It is not just the loss of a loved one due to death, it can also be the grief of a lost love through divorce or separation. In fact some have said to me that the grieving through divorce or being abandoned can be greater than loss due to death as they feel that the person chooses to leave the relationship, unlike the dead person who usually does not choose this path. It can come as quite a surprise to people who are suffering the loss of a loved (or indeed, unloved) member of the family, to realise that they have already mourned deeply in that particular relationship, long before the person died. They realise in death that the relationship they mourned never actually existed except in their hearts and dreams. Or perhaps the person they knew and loved was lost in the abyss of dementia. We can mourn deeply the loss of a happy situation in life due to an illness changing the way we live or it can be due to a positive life-style change which can still mean leaving a way of life or people behind.

Elizabeth Kubler Ross wrote eloquently about grief and described the five stages as being.

1. Denial: This is the phase where there is a sense that the loss is not real and therefore seems impossible to accept. 2. Anger: Bowlby describes this stage as “yearning and searching”. We are pre-occupied with the future we have lost and resentment with this loss can produce the anger that can come from fear. We may also appear obsessed with the person we have lost and constantly look for reminders of them.

It becomes clear that while grief is unique to each individual, it is also omni-present in life.

It takes on many forms and guises and each person has the right, indeed the need, to experience grief in their own way, whatever the cause.

Some can find themselves criticised when they behave in a way which others find unacceptable. It is extremely important that whatever our chosen way of grieving is, it is respected and honoured. As long as it does not cause harm to ourselves or others of course.

Counselling and therapy can be very useful at these times. I have found, without exception, that working with the process of grief, underlying issues have surfaced which have demanded our attention. It is not for anyone other than the sufferer to decide whether a path of in-depth exploration should be pursued, however it can be helpful to acknowledge its existence if only to understand the nature of this particular grief.

3. Bargaining: At this stage we are beginning to accept the changes in our lives along with the realisation that nothing will ever be as it was or as we imagined it could be. This can lead to hopelessness and After sessions of individual therapy or counselling, it can be despair as well as anger and questioning. extremely beneficial to join a 4. Depression: The bargaining stage can lead to feelings of chaos group for continuing support. I and disorganisation which in turn can lead to a depression as we feel have known some people effecthat life can never make sense again. We may withdraw from others tively use the support of the too. group as an adjunct to individual 5. Acceptance: In this stage, grief does not go away nor is it fully work; understanding without resolved but it can recede to a hidden section of the brain and heart, judgement is essential during where it continues to influence us but is not at the forefront of the this process of grief and self-discovery. mind. Re-organisation of our lives becomes a possibility.

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A supportive, sensitively facilitated group has proved to be both useful and successful in many situations. It can offer the individual a safe space to name their grief or to say the loved oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s name out loud without fear that they are, as they might believe, boring long-suffering family and friends. Or it can offer family and friends a greater understanding and comfort when someone close is diagnosed with a life changing illness as it supports the grieving process of lives completely changed. Those around us are often at a loss for appropriate expressions of help and love and will sometimes not want to hear of our pain as they cannot â&#x20AC;&#x153;fixâ&#x20AC;? it for us. Sitting with the person without feeling the need to find a solution or offer advice is a difficult stance for many. A support group can help us understand and accept just how many forms of grief there are and how we all are entitled to the dignity of our own experience. A client once expressed to me how his inability to grieve resulted in a sense of isolation from the family as he did not even begin to experience his grief for 6 years after his father died.

Being kind, gentle and honest with ourselves is the pathway to acceptance of ourselves and our situation. Acceptance does not mean that we no longer hurt or care, it means that we have found a safe place within us to hold the love and the pain in equal balance so that we can once again find joy without guilt. Eileen Murphy is an experienced Psychotherapist and Counselor who is highly respected in her field of expertise. Eileen provides both individual and group bereavement therapy sessions in La Cala de Mijas. For more information on Eileen please contact us 952 835 776

Health & Well Being

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WANT TO KICK-START YOUR SPRING FITNESS GOALS?

9 TIPS FOR SPRING FITNESS

SHAPE-UP BY FINDING WAYS TO KEEP THE PEACE BETWEEN FUN, FITNESS AND FOOD... 1) DON’T WEIGH YOURSELF 4) DON’T OVERTRAIN: can’t have making you more hunEVERY DAY: This will allow you to Overtraining can lead to fatigue gry. Instead, focus on eating whole

focus on the positive things you need to do to achieve your goals and not let the scales dictate your emotions. It’s recommend that you weigh yourself weekly or fortnightly as this will show your real results.

2) SET YOUR EXPECTATIONS CORRECTLY AT THE START IF WEIGHT LOSS IS YOUR GOAL: It’s going to take time and

effort, so don’t expect to see results in the first week or two; stay consistent and your results will come.

and will have a negative impact on your weight loss goals. Remember, when it comes to training, it’s about quality, not quantity. Give your body time to rest and recover and it will thank you for it.

foods with a high nutritional value.

7) WHY NOT TRY WEIGHT TRAINING: Want to change your

body for Spring and Summer? We recommend weight training to everybody. There are so many ben5) FITNESS STARTS IN THE efits, especially when it comes to KITCHEN: Respect your body by weight loss and the ability to give fuelling it with whole foods and your body shape. remember self-control and portion size are your best friends. Eighty 8) MAKE YOUR HEALTHY per cent of maintaining the body LIFESTYLE FUN: Train with you want comes down to what you friends and get creative with your eat rather than how hard you train. food. You need to find that balance Most people have this the wrong where you are working hard towards your goals but also still livway around. ing your life!

3) AGREE TO COMMIT TO YOUR GOALS 80% OF THE TIME: This way if you slip up you 6) DITCH CALORIE COUNTdon’t have to feel bad if you do ING: It’s restrictive and takes you indulge occasionally or miss a workout. It’s about developing a positive relationship with food and exercise that doesn’t involve guilt.

down a negative path when it comes to how you think about food. Calorie counting just makes you think all the time about foods you

CHECK OUT... our website www.costalinkmagazine.com for more health & wellbeing features

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HEALTHY MOUTH HEALTHY BODY

GUM DISEASE HAS BEEN LINKED TO MANY OTHER PROBLEMS IN YOUR BODY

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March 2018 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 21/02/18 8:43 pm Page 54

Cajun Prawn Pizza

Make a healthy, low-fat pizza with juicy, spiced prawns instead of calling the takeaway. Top with peppery rocket to make it even more nutritious and delicious.

1) Heat oven to 220C/200C fan/gas 7. Tip the flour into a mixer FOR THE BASE with a dough hook, or a • 200g wholemeal flour, bowl. Add the yeast, (plus extra for kneading if necessary) salt, oil and 150ml • 1 tsp instant yeast warm water then mix • pinch of salt well to a soft dough. • 2 tsp rapeseed oil, (plus extra greasing) Knead in the food mixer for about 5 mins, but if FOR THE TOPPING making this by hand, tip • 1 tbsp rapeseed oil, (plus extra for greasing) onto a work surface and •2 large sticks celery, (finely chopped) • 1 yellow pepper or green pepper, (de-seeded & diced) knead for about 10 mins. The dough is sticky, but try not to add too much extra flour. Leave in the bowl and cover with a tea towel • 225g can chopped tomatoes while you make the topping. There is no need to prove the dough • 1 tsp smoked paprika for a specific time, just let it sit while you get on with the next step. • 165g raw, peeled king prawns 2) For the topping: heat the oil in a non-stick pan or wok. Add the • 2-3 tbsp chopped coriander celery and pepper and fry for 8 mins, stirring frequently, until soft• ½ - 1 tsp Cajun spice mix ened. Tip in the tomatoes and paprika then cook for 2 mins more. • 2 handfuls rocket, (optional) Set aside to cool a little then stir in the prawns. 3) With an oiled knife, cut the dough in half and shape each piece into a 25cm round with lightly oiled hands on oiled baking sheets. Don’t knead the dough first otherwise it will be too elastic and will shrink back. Spread each with half of the tomato and prawn mix then scatter with the coriander and sprinkle with the Cajun spice. Bake for 10 mins until golden. Serve with a green salad.

Ingredients:

Method:

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ALL REVVED UP

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CARS & MOTORBIKES IN HIGH PLACES…

Last month the new plug-in hybrid Range Rover Sport PHEV became the first car to climb to Heaven’s Gate in China. Heaven’s Gate is a natural rock arch located in the Tianmen Mountain in the Hunan Province of China. The plug in hybrid luxury off-roader took on the 45-degree 11.3km hike complete with 99 tight turns and finishing with the 999 steps. AMAZING!

The Pikes Peak International Hill Climb, also known as The Race to the Clouds, is an annual automobile and motorcycle hillclimb to the summit of Pikes Peak in Colorado, USA. The track measures 19.99 km with over 156 turns, climbing 4,720 ft (1,440 m) from the start at Mile 7 on Pikes Peak Highway, to the finish at 14,110 ft (4,300 m), on grades averaging 7.2%. The challenge used to be on and unpaved dirt roads with straight drop-offs down the Colorado Rockies. Now the whole thing is paved and somehow it has become even more dangerous. The Erzberg Rodeo is a race on this list has as high an attrition rate as the Erzberg Rodeo. Its run up a working mine in the Austrian Alps. Last year 1,500 riders qualified, 500 entered, and only a handful finished. In 2011, only nine riders made it to the end.

Flipping a MINI in the Alps Teaming up with Monster, MINI came up with this spectacular promotional stunt and claimed it the world’s first non-assisted backflip in the Alps. Guerlain Chicherit, the stuntman managed to take off the modified John Cooper Works MINI from an 8-meter ramp, perform a complete 360 backflip and lands it successfully with all four wheels on the snowy ramp.

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LITTLE-KNOWN FACTS ABOUT SAINTS This month is a very saintly month all in all we have St David’s Day on the 1st and St Patrick Day on the 17th but here are a few of the most interesting little-known facts about some of the saints:

• St. Lawrence the Deacon told his executioners, “You can turn me over. I’m done on this side,” as they roasted him alive on a huge hot gridiron.

• St. Anthony of Padua is the patron saint for lost items. Catholics say this prayer to find them: “St. Anthony, please look around; something is lost and must be found.”

• St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland, was • Catholics get their throats blessed every year not Irish himself. He was born in Scotland and on the Feast of St. Blaise (February 2nd) was captured by Irish pirates; after he escaped because he miraculously cured a young boy he eventually returned as a missionary. who was choking on a fish bone. • St. Jerome (who translated the first one-vol• St. Lucy is the patron saint for those suffering ume Bible from Hebrew and Greek into his from any ailment of the eye because she was native Latin) removed a thorn from a lion’s paw martyred by the Romans, who plucked out her and it immediately became his pet. eyeballs as part of her martyrdom. • St. Agatha is the patron saint for women suffering from breast cancer because the Romans cruelly cut off her breasts as part of her martyr’s death.

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• During Lent, Catholics give up eating sweets and treats except on St. Joseph’s Day (March 19th), when special pastries called zeppole are served, and bread is blessed in his honor.

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This week so far has seen further losses for the Pound, continuing the negative trend that we have seen for Sterling throughout the majority of February so far. Whilst there are likely to be some spikes in the Pound’s value over the coming months, I do feel that this negative trend could be set continue until we have some more clarity and certainty surrounding the future of the UK post-Brexit and how this will affect the economy. Boris Johnson made a key speech this week regarding his ‘Brexit Vision’ calling for the public to unite and remain positive over the coming months to help the UK leave the EU and play a greater role on the world stage. His rousing speech has done little so far to give any more of a clearer definition of the UK’s path after Brexit, but there are many other speeches due to come out from Theresa May and other MP’s over the coming weeks that could drop some hints as to what we should expect in the future and could therefore impact on exchange rates.

Another topic to keep an eye on is interest rates in the UK, with many analysts now pencilling in May of this year for an interest rate hike to 0.75%. Inflation figures earlier this month showed a slight increase to 3% which is way above the bank’s target of 2%, so in order to get inflation back in line with their target it is likely that they will use interest rate policy to get more people saving money and try to reduce consumer spending. If rates do rise, depending on how people believe this could affect the UK economy, we are likely to see further volatility for the Pound. What is clear is that if you are planning on moving money overseas in the future, speaking to one of our experienced brokers could help you save thousands on your transfer. Some of our traders have been with us for over 10 years and can draw on their experiences to help you time your transfer and inform you of any currency movements in your favour.

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What’s On Guide...

1st March 2018: St. Davids Day Concert - A fantastic trip through the valleys with Ricky Lavazza, Owain Griffiths, Fibi McGregor and Mario Ross. For more information call: 952 47 45 42 or e-mail: boxoffice@salonvarietestheatre.com or visit the website www.salonvarietestheatre.com. March 3rd & 4th March 2018: FreakCon a meeting place for lovers of Manga, Anime, Comics, Series, Table games, Role playing, Cultura Geeks, Softcombat, k-pop, J-pop, Art, Video games. for more info see www.freakcon.es to be held at the Palacio de Congresso Malaga. March 8th 2018: International Women's Day, Marbella starting at 9:30 am to 4:30 pm to be held at Andalucia Lab Costa Women are delighted to announce our 6th International Women’s Day Conference. They are co-hosting the event with Jackie Groundsell of The Women’s Company. This is a ticket only event. For more info please see https://1230.co.uk/marbella-spain-2018/. March 16th 2018: Masquerade Charity Gala at Laude School San Pedro from 6:00 pm to 11:00 pm The theme this year is a MASQUERADE, expect mind blowing entertainment of music, dance, fashion, a quality auction, a fantastic charity raffle and mouth watering food and drink. For further information please email gala2018@laudesanpedro.com. March 16th, 17th & 18th 2018: Beer Festival Coin: Festival de Cerveza Artesana, Plaza de la Alameda – from 11am to Midnight on all days. March 16th to the 25th 2018: Monty Pythons Spamalot: SALVA presents a new musical lovingly ripped off from the motion picture MONTY PYTHON and the Holy Grail. For more information call: 952 47 45 42 visit the website www.salonvarietestheatre.com for more information. March 17th 2018: St. Patrick's Day Festival: Join in on the Festivities at Constitution Park in Marbella. The theme will be celebrating the traditions and culture of Ireland. 12:00 pm – 7:00 pm Constitution Park is located at Av. Arias Maldonado, Marbella. Every Monday: Age Care Drop In where people can chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain at La Iglesia Bar, near Bonanza Square, Benalmadena Costa 11am -12.30pm. Every Monday: Arts and Crafts Fair in Benahavis at 8pm in the Main Square in Benahavis. Every Tuesday: The Costa Women Coffee Club meet every second Tuesday at 10am – 12.30pm for coffee, chats and other activities and is a social group designed to get ladies of all ages together. It’s best to join the group via Facebook or contact Emma on 608 408 771. Every Tuesday: Age Care Drop In Calahonda. Tuesdays: 11 a.m. – 1 p.m. International Baptist Church, near Supersol Los Olivos , Calahonda. Every Tuesday: Age Concern meet at the Manila bar in Los Boliches, next to the Yaramar hotel for Spanish lessons in the afternoon from 3.00pm until 3.45pm. Lifeline 652 537 615. Every Thursday: Age Concern meet at the Manila bar in Los Boliches, next to the Yaramar hotel for advice, support and friendship from 11.00am until 1.00pm. Pop in and meet new people and make new friends. Call 652 537 615. Every Thursday: Age Care Drop In Coin, La Peña, Calle Rio Guadelhorce 19, Poligono La Rosa, Alhaurin el Grande. Thursday 11am – 1pm. Every Friday: Hard Rock Cafe: Live music happening every Friday see www.hardrock.com/cafes/marbella. Every Friday: Age Care Drop In Fuengirola, Hojar del Jubilado, Los Boliches Friday 11.00am -12.30pm , Entrance Calle Fruita. 1st floor above the fruit market. Every Friday: Age Concern meet at El Caballo de Oro in La Cala from 11.30 until 1.00pm. In the main square behind Supersol. Advice, support and friendship. Lifeline 652 537 615. Every Sunday: FAMA have a car boot sale at the Hippodrome from 9am - 2pm. Every Sunday: Craft Market in the Marbella Marina on the Teresa Zabell Pier: 12-6pm. If you have an event, fundraiser or anything else please let us know... email: editor@costalinkmagazine.com phone: 951 216 131 or 663 061 669

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ocal Info Emergency Numbers

---

Central number for Fire, Police & Ambulance National Police Local Police Guardia Civil

Medical

dica

112 091 092 062

Emergency 061 Ambulance Marbella 902 505 061 Ambulance Coin 952 453 267

Train Timetables 902 240 202

Health Centres

Airports Malaga 952 048 844

Marbella 952 769 946

Gibraltar 956 773 026

Coin 952 452 767 San Pedro 952 787 700

Town Halls

Marbella 952 761 100 San Pedro 952 453 020 La Cala de Mijas 952 493 208 Fuengirola 952 589 300 Estepona 952 801 100

Fire Brigade

Emergency number 080 Marbella 952 774 349 Estepona 952 804 483 Fuengirola 952 461 046

Consulates

British Ireland Denmark Sweden Germany France U.S.A

952 952 952 952 952 952 952

Marbella Coin Estepona Fuengirola San Pedro

952 771 442 952 822 818 952 822 818 952 467 457

352 475 226 604 212 226 474

300 108 373 383 442 590 891

Tourist Information

Transport

Bus Stations Marbella 952 764 400 Coin 952 450 366 San Pedro 952 781 396 Estepona 952 800249 For a list of complete times www.andalucia.com/travel/bus

952 785 252

Markets

Monday - Marbella (fairground site on east side) Tuesday - Fuengirola (fairground near Los Boliches) Wednesday -Estepona (Avda. Juan Carlos) La Cala - Feria ground. Thursday - San Pedro (Recinto Ferial) Calypso (Mijas Costa). Alhaurin el Grande - (La Fama) Saturday - Coin (Calle Urbano Pineda), Nueva Andalucia (Next to Centro Plaza the Bullring) and La Cala - Feria ground. Sunday - Puerto Estepona (Marina).

Cinemas

All the Cinemas listed below show films in English as well as Spanish. Call first to check what is showing that week. Marbella: Cinesur Plaza del Mar 952 766 941 La Cañada 902 333 231 Puerto Banus: Gran Marbella 952 810 077 Coin: La Trocha 951 315 039

Fuengirola Cinesur Miramar 902 221 622

Chemists

24 hour chemist Urb. Artola, Ctra. Cadiz Km 194. Marbella. Tel: 952 83 25 89

Taxis

Marbella Taxis 952 774 488 Mijas Costa Taxis 952 476 593

Diary Dates

March 1st 2018: St David’s Day March 11th 2018: Mothering Sunday (UK) March 17th 2018: St Patrick’s Day March 19th 2018: Spanish Father’s Day March 25th 2018: Clocks go forward & Maundy Thursday (National Holiday)

March 30st 2018: Good Friday (National Holiday) April 1st 2018: Easter Sunday April 2nd 2018: Easter Monday (Some Local Holidays)

check out our website www.costalinkmagazine.com for cinema listings in VOSE

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S TA R S I GN S

A look at what's in store for you during March 2018...

Capricorn

December 22nd January 19th

Aquarius

January 20th February 18th

Pisces

February 19th March 20th

Aries

March 21st April 19th

Taurus

April 20th May 20th

Gemini May 21st June 20th

Capricorn, Venus is in the company of Mercury throughout March 2018. The combination makes things fresh and gives you a change in romances; it gives you an appetite for flirting. You might find love while traveling or love could cause it. For couples that are somewhat well established, the position of Venus and Mercury points to getting along, affection, and renovating your home. You are a whizz with words this month your mind is full of new ideas and ways to move your career or business. Your drive and entrepreneurial spirit are heightened after March 17th, when Mars enters your sign. As a result there’s an interest in real estate and your family can support your career. Money is a strong motivator, so you’ll know how to earn it. During March 2018 you find it pretty tough to relax. You’re always on the go or tense take some timeout when you can think about the bigger picture. Aquarians, March 2018 brings significant journeys that can have emotional relevance, potential relationships that are born as a result of exchanging thoughts or common intellectual pursuits. Material interests this month, money or investments are on your mind and affect relationships. Jupiter and the Sun create a predisposition toward professional success and money-wise luck during the first two weeks of March 2018. It’s one of those times of the year when Jupiter’s promises come true and then some, bringing you achievements that you can be proud of. The thing is that not everyone likes your success, and in fact some actually try to get in your way. Be careful about spiteful behavior, particularly during the second part of the month! Your morale is excellent throughout the month. Pisces, the first week of March 2018 is particularly good for love: Venus and Mercury are in your skies offering you the very best combination bringing you luck, happiness and harmony in all relationships. During the first half of March 2018 your work life is spiced up by the presence of Mars. Your leadership and entrepreneurial skills come to light. You need an objective to dedicate yourself to. The Sun and Jupiter bring opportunities, success and prosperity to the entire month. Things are looking good in terms of money too, particularly during the first two weeks, and maybe even during the last one even if it could be affected by minor obstacles or delays. Aim higher, because it’s time to do or plan something that goes beyond your current limits! The first week of March 2018 finds you in amazing shape: You are full of energy and in a good mood. Aries, the first week of March 2018 is pretty lackluster in terms of your love life. So don’t make romantic plans for the first day of spring. But from the 8th of the month Venus enters your sign. It promises luck in love, great vibes are a couple, and very favorable opportunities for falling for someone if that’s what your heart desires. On the work front Pluto is in your skies brining with it the need for perfectionism and power you are control-hungry, which for other can be slightly annoying! On top of that, on March 17th 2018, feisty Mars begins a retrograde cycle and plans to move to and from Capricorn and Aquarius until November. So you enter a significant term from a professional perspective expect changed situations but also struggles and incidents. Toward the end of month, the greatness of the Sun lets you enjoy success and material fulfillment.

Taurus, during March 2018, Jupiter starts it’s transit through this will last until November. The first weeks of the month will be quite slow regards your love life. On the 17th resumes its retrograde cycle and will move to and from Capricorn and Aquarius. Expect the month to be more about complex situations and unexpected plot twists. You’ll come through it though knowing a lot more about what you want our of your relationships. At work Saturn is well situated for the long run and shows a particular interest in studies or professional improvement. The transit of the Sun brings you luck. Collaborations can be profitable but need to be treated with diplomacy and balance. Try not to rush when making money-related decisions! You are full of energy this month although you should take better care of yourself during this term. Gemini, during the first part of March 2018, Mars resumes its transit through your skies making you become very actively involved in matters of the heart. Sometimes you rush things to change and charge in to quickly take a step back review what you want out of the situation. March 2018 is a month full of opportunities for you with regard to your career and success. Mercury brings you prestige during the beginning of the month, and then, Venus brings you luck and support. On top of all this your luck doubles and you can count on everyone to help you achieve your goals. The month promises a significant achievement, most likely during the second week. You’re in top shape and have an infectious good mood. Despite all that, steer clear of situations that might out to be adverse to your health!

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Cancer June 21st July 22nd

Leo

July 23rd August 22nd

Virgo

August 23rd September 22nd

Libra

September 23rd October 22nd

Scorpio

October 23rd November 21st

Sagittarius

November 22nd December 21st

Cancer, long term Saturn and Pluto are in your sign and are pointing you rather boringly towards certain responsibilities. Things become more obvious during the second part of March 2018, when Mars also enters your sign rushing or triggering events. You can count on the effect of Jupiter that radiates luck through your skies and is in a prominent position during March. In other words: even if there might be complications, issues can be solved and in the end you make it through all right. Mars stays with you on the work front until March 17th 2018, which means that the first half of the month is marked by determination and efficiency, but may be sprinkled with emergencies or critical situations that demand boldness and speed of reaction. March 2018 is a pretty tense month that puts a strain both on the body and the mind. Due to stress, you might experience some issues. Take good care of yourself!

Leo, with Mars situated in your sign this month romance is in full bloom. You could find yourself involved in a passionate affair, but one not without risks or turbulence. During the first two weeks of March, the Sun and Jupiter bring you luck, and happiness it’s a fantastic time to find that special someone! Saturn is getting all involved on the work front you go through a term during which things don’t always move along as quickly as you might want them to. But still, March 2018 will see you achieve something that is accompanied by monetary gains. Venus is together with Mercury this month meaning you could find yourself going on professional travels or a long-distance collaboration. The first part of March isn’t much different than the last part of February. Your energy is 100% full on, but you’re naturally resilient and if you take care of yourself you’ll start feeling back on track towards the end of the month. Virgo, the first two weeks of March 2018 look to be very promising: the Sun and Jupiter bring fulfillment when it comes to love life, which is probably helped along by a date or a cheeky discussion! Venus speaks of money-related interests that you share with your better half. Passionate impulses are eventful during the second part of the month. On the work front collaborations can give you a lot of satisfaction during the month. Travels bring you luck and negotiations lead to advantageous results. You put a lot of effort into your home or pursuits related to real estate. Step by step, a money-related aspect becomes clearer and clearer; it’s marked by monetary gains via others (partnerships and so on) or that are related to financial institutions. You might receive gifts or attract funds or sponsorships. Your physical energy good and you’re very optimistic, have a lot of humour, and know how to enjoy what’s good in life. Look forward to a great month!

Libra, March 2018 brings you a lot of emotional openness, you’ll feel the need to share feelings with your loved one. During the last week of March, next to Venus and Mercury comes the Sun, focusing even more of your attention on your loved one and intensifying the desire to get closer. The Sun is helping you standout on the work front for the first two weeks of March 2018 you get the opportunity to gain appreciation. You could achieve something remarkable that could bring you not only glory, but also money thanks to the Sun and Jupiter. Home and properties demand more attention and effort during the second part of the month. Your stress levels could get high during the second part of the month. If you know you have certain things checked up you should make the most of these first two weeks, when you can be lucky when it comes to interactions with the medical environment.

Scorpio, March 2018 is a very romantic month for you. During the first two weeks of the month the Sun brings luck in love and is typical for terms of flirting, falling in love and great changes to your love life. There may be certain connections between your love life and professional life. It could result in a romance forming with your boss or a coworker. Venus, Mercury and the Sun will make your achievements appreciated at work this month they make you stand out and offer you opportunities to shine. On top of that, Jupiter brings luck and wealth. It’s a good time for exploring your artistic or creative abilities. With Jupiter in Scorpio, until the autumn you’re full of confidence and vitality. If you are wanting a little change, March is a great time for medical procedures, as well as starting diets, cosmetic procedures, and so on.

Sagittarius, during the first half of March 2018, the presence of Mars in your sign stirs your senses, if you are on the lookout for love then now is a fantastic time to find it. If you are in a relationship then love grows deeper or comes back to life. Mars pushes you to act during the first part of March 2018, which is the most dynamic and productive part in terms of your professional life. Mercury is around bringing you harmony between major goals and current, day-to-day professional activities. In addition to that, Mercury and Venus are situated in a lucky area, which is why at some point you might find yourself under a set of circumstances that are very favorable. Things are pretty hectic for the first weeks of the month you tend to rush and be impulsive, which may lead to conflicts or accidents.

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puzzle Link The Words

Solutions on page 80

it out

In each of these puzzles, three words are listed. All you have to do is find another word that can either precede or follow each word linking them:

____

WORKS

RUNNER

RAGE

___

FOIL

CAN

POT

OFF

AWAY

2) 4) 5)

____ _____ ____

WATER

ALLEY

WHISTLE BLACK

DROP

FARTHING OUT

Guess The Celeb

Sudoku

Tricky Brain Teaser SO MANY PEOPLE!

There were two grandmothers and their two granddaughters. There were two husbands and their two wives. There were two fathers and their two daughters. There were two mothers and their two sons. There were two maidens and their two mothers. There were two sisters and their two brothers. Yet there are only six, who are buried here, All are born legitimately and relationships clear. How can this happen?

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Crossword

Across: 1. Armoured vehicle. (4) 4. Motorcycle company. (8) 7. Vacation. (7) 9. Soccer (slang). (5) 11. On purpose. (5,8) 12. Overweight. (5) 17. Formula 1 driver. (5,8) 18. Garden ornament. (5) 19. Tomato sauce. (7) 20. Friendly in a child-like way. (8) 21. Palm fruit. (4) Down: 2. Quantity. (6) 3. Stabbed. (6) 5. Motto. (6) 6. Water boiler. (6) 8. German motorway. (8) 10. Soup. (8) 13. Doghouse. (6) 14. Thoroughly dishearten. (6) 15. Tranquil. (6) 16. Crop-destroying insect. (6)

Name The Film

A The Beatles agree to accompany Captain B Fred and go to Pepperland to free it from the music hating Blue Meanies. Staring Paul John, George and Ringo in 1968.

An interstellar teleportation device, found in Egypt, leads to a planet with humans resembling ancient Egyptians who worship the god Ra (1994).

Say What You See...

play WORDS

PAYMENT

DR.

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The Jokespage

Jokespage

I had a car crash the other day. A dwarf got out the other car and said, "I'm not happy". To which I replied, "Which one are you then?" A Cardiologist died and they're having his funeral. The coffin was placed in front of a huge heart. When the priest finished with the sermon and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart opened, the coffin rolled inside, then the heart closed. Just at that moment one of the mourners started laughing. The guy next to him asked: "Why are you laughing?" The man replied "I was thinking about my own funeral" the first man asked.. "What's so funny about that?â&#x20AC;? He responded... "I'm a gynecologist." Lost at Sea... Two Irishmen, Patrick & Michael, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, Patrick stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of Patrick, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter, Patrick then blurted out really quickly, "Make the entire ocean into Guinness!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of Guinness on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances. Michael 72

looked disgustedly at Patrick whose wish had been granted..... After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Nice going Patrick! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat."

A man went to the dentist because his tooth was hurting. The dentist told him after the examination that he needed a root canal. The man replied, "O.K. lets do it." The dentist told him he would feel a pinch when he gives him the numbing agent. The man says, "No, Doc, I am allergic to that." The doctor tells him, "O.K., then, we'll give you nitrous oxide." The man says, "I am allergic to the gas." So, then the doctor gives him two pills with a glass of water and the man takes it. The doctor comes back in 10 minutes and the man says, "Doc, will those two blue pills kill the pain?" The doctor replies, "No, that was Viagra." The man says, "Viagra? - I don't need that! What's that going to do for me?" The doctor replies, "Well, it'll give you something to hang onto."

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Why was it so hard to call the pirate on the phone? Because he left the phone off the hook

Why couldn't the pirate play cards? Because he was standing on the deck!

Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? Because they spend years at C!

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with Jake & the pirates Arrrh maties can you find the lost words in the wordsearch?

Give Jake Some Colour

eyepatch pirate hook jake ahoy treasure gold map

captain parrot

T Q C A P T A I N J

T P J G V U M P R E A A O Y A I E H K R K L P R A I E N R E D A S Y O H A O P T U D V X H Q T E R E Y E P A T C E I O K O O H H I P E T W Z R Y R R N N A K H K

G H Y Q T L H D T W

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puzzle Who Am I? John Lennon

Trivia Quiz Answers 1) George V 2) Pyeongchang, South Korea 3) Bogota 4) A Bat 5) Spike 6) Bobby Gentry 7) Blackpool (Opera House) 8) Sir Walter Scott 9) 7 10) Eat it 11) Topaz 12) Bashful 13) Blue Whale 14) Indian 15) Car 16) Gibtelecom 17) Wales 18) Radium 19) Dallas 20) Pottery 21) July 22) Apple 23) Adele 24) Distillery 25) Thief 26) Delilah 27) Eye 28) Blubber 29) The maiden all-forlorn (The house that Jack Built) 30) The Beano

Answers from 18, 22, 70 & 71

it out

Link The Words 1) Road 2) Back 3) Tin 4) Penny 5) Sent

Guess The Celeb a) Bradley Walsh b) Uma Thurman

Brain Teaser

SO MANY PEOPLE! If the two widows had a son each and if the two widows were married to the son of the other and with this relationship of marriage they had a daughter, all the relationships can be found.

Crossword Solution

Sudoku Solution

Name The Film

a) Yellow Submarine (1968) b) Stargate (1994)

Say What You See a) Play on Words

b) Down Payment

c) Dr. Dolittle

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COME AND JOIN US ON THE WORLDS NEWEST CRUISE LINER Setting Sail ON 7th OCTOBER 2018

THE ‘SYMPHONY OF THE SEAS’

WE HAVE SECURED THE LOWEST, UNBEATABLE FROM ANY COMPANY IN THE WORLD

PRICES

MARBELLA CRUISERS are a group of like minded people that enjoy quality cruising on the best ships at the lowest prices. As you are reading this, Royal Caribbean is building the newest, largest and one of the most luxurious cruise liners in the world, THE SYMPHONY OF THE SEAS. To be launched in April 2018 this is a rather ‘SPECIAL’ ship, including a park right down the middle of the ship, a full size ice rink with spectacular shows in the evening, over 20 themed restaurants and 20 swimming pools and spa baths to keep us cool as we sail, in style, for 7 days around the Med.

To make life easy, on 6th October 2018 you are welcome to join our private coaches running along the A7 from Gibraltar to Malaga from where we travel to Barcelona by train and stay in a luxury four star hotel overnight, including a ‘get to know each other’ Dinner and Dance and a FREE bar. After breakfast on Sunday morning our coaches will be waiting outside the hotel, to take us to our floating hotel.

By making our booking on the first day this cruise was announced and by guaranteeing a large group, we secured us the lowest prices from any company in the world.

To ensure everything runs smoothly from door to door, three ‘Marbella Cruiser Girls’ and I will be traveling with you all the way and are available every day, at the same time and place, to ensure you get the most out of this fabulous ship. If you are an experienced cruiser and wish to make Our group is already so large; we have your own travel arrangements you are welcome to meet negotiated our own ballroom, for three of up with the rest of us at the hotel or on the ship. the evenings, all our excursions at half the ships price and free on board spending If you would like to sail with us, first visit our website and money for each cabin. In 2017, 160 of us pick your cabin, some of the cabin types are being booked sailed together and we learned that as a faster than others as many of our last year’s cruisers have large group you do get very special attention already booked with us for this year’s cruise. (We do enjoy and… you will come home with whole new ourselves) The deposit required is 150 pounds per person social circle! payable to our ABTA registered cruise agent in London, the balance is payable in July - See our main ad on page 27...

Email colin@marbellacruisers.com Website with video of this ship www.marbellacruisers.com and… …you are welcome to call me, Colin on 0034 635717211.

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Call 952.907.892 To Visit The Amazing New Campus!

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